52 - Who You Become Under Pressure | The Leadership Test No One Can Fake

Create opportunities where others have failed and push you to build empires where once there was empty space.

Let's embark on this journey together and make a difference in this world. Thank you so much for joining us on the Impact Podcast today with Eddie Wilson. I've got a great episode today and I'm going to take it from the themes of CS Lewis, one of my favorite authors he wrote.

“A group of essays called the abolition of man and I think there's so much meat and truth in these essays.”

And I want to take one of these essays where he really talks about the three types of men and in these three types of men.

I find such amazing content specific to not just faith, which oftentimes CS Lewis's writings were specific and tied to faith.

But it's not just these three type of men don't just exist in faith, but it's also in marriage, leadership, business, culture. It's like in every area of our life, you'll find these three components and it's also not just men, right? It's humans, it's persons, right? It is more than just a male construct and so what I want you to do is I want you to hear these three areas and I want you to self-select or identify where you are in each one of these areas of your life.

“And so as an intro, the problem isn't skill, it's always substance, you know, oftentimes we look at the failures of our life and it really doesn't boil down to did we not possess a skill or was there a skill absent?”

It's typically tied to a substance that's not present, right? And so we obsess over tactics, we read books on scaling, we learn systems and frameworks and I'm a person who loves that and I've taught that so much on this podcast. It teaches systems and frameworks in order to grow and to scale, but it's the foundational pieces that if they're not, if they're not present, then it doesn't matter how many systems you have, it doesn't matter how much, you know, how practical a tactics are, it doesn't matter how many books you read on scaling or how much you, how many books you read on relationships, if the substance isn't there, if the substance is missing, then in that missing substance, the tactics are just a, are just delay.

It's just, it's just prolonging the inevitable, your business will only rise to the person that is running it, your business will only rise to the person that's running it. And so let me introduce this idea that CS Lewis gave us in the abolition of man, he says that there's fundamentally three types of men, three types of humans and most leadership failures, and I'm going to talk specifically about leadership today, most leadership failures can be traced back to which type is in charge.

“Which person possesses the reins, you know, there is an old adage that in life, you know, as a human, there's really like two types of dogs and whichever dog you feed grows in it and it strengthens and then dominates, right?”

And, you know, in your life, sometimes when you feed the wrong dog, right, like that thing grows and it has an appetite in it, and as you feed that appetite it continues to go, but as you starve, the things that, let's say, are important, then those things begin to diminish, and so in this first, you know, kind of person that we're talking about is a person that we're just going to identify as the self oriented man, right? The self oriented person. Who is this person? So again, three types of men, the first one is the self oriented man, the person that we're talking about here is a person who lives for appetite, makes decisions based on comfort, avoids discomfort, accountability, or any correction.

They're always motivated by fear or by ego. How does it ultimately work out for me in every question the first answer that's given is always tied to their own self interest or their own validation?

Lewis described this person as a person who is ruled by impulse rather than reason or virtue rather than reason or virtue. It's this, it's the impulses that are fed. It's like that the two dogs that I was talking about, it's like always feeding that dog of impulse allows it to grow and strengthen which makes your impulses that much more intense and that much more present in your life. Spiritual life, it would be a person where their faith is just convenient. It's only a spoken about when it's convenient in a room of other people who believe the same way, right?

When it's convenient for their life or their schedule. In the spiritual life, their discipline is inconsistent. Again, go back to the self, this is the self oriented man. Their discipline is inconsistent, not consistent. It's they, you see spurts or sporadic because again, it goes back to it only is present when it serves them.

Beliefs are just something that you hold to be true. And so when I talk about convictions, I'm talking about those things that you would literally, you would die for, you would fight over, you would you would stand up for in those convictions shift with pressure. The self oriented men in business look something like this. They chase trends. They chase what is convenient. They make emotional hiring decisions. They hire based on what they feel versus what they know.

They always avoid the hard conversations. They protect image over integrity.

“Instead of looking for what is best when no one else is looking integrity, they protect their image at all times. This person doesn't build empires. They build ego systems, right?”

And when you build something on ego, right? Like when ego is the foundation, the self oriented man, culture will always erode never grow. Culture does not get better. It always gets worse. Trust will always erode when you have someone who is self oriented, trust is always present in the beginning and always erodes over time. It's not that trust grows, it's always that trust erodes. And lastly, discipline erodes. All the things that you know to be true and to breed success always begin to lack over time.

And that is what happens when a self oriented man is in leadership. All right. So here's a person number two, you're ready. So person number two. This is the approval driven man or the approval driven person. This is the most dangerous one because oftentimes with the self oriented man, you know what you're getting. You know what is, you know what is present at all times.

“You know how to steer and you know how to navigate. However, the approval driven man is so dangerous because they live for reputation.”

They make decisions based on how they'll be perceived, not based on truth. They need affirmation and they avoid being misunderstood. When somebody is so cautious to not be misunderstood, oftentimes they're navigating what is true, what is actually true. See us Lewis warns about this man or this man because it's shaped entirely by external pressures. So in times are good. This person can thrive when times are bad.

It literally is a disaster. This is not somebody who possesses internal virtue. It's somebody who is always, always bound to external pressures.

In the spiritual life. So how do you know if this is present in the spiritual life? This person performs what I would say is is righteous, right? Like they're always in the external doing what seems to be right. But when the when the limelight goes away or when the when the accountability goes away, the righteousness or the righteous, the right actions, the adherence to truth begins to fade. They're concerned with optics rather than what is true and internal and they avoid conviction at all cost. They avoid they avoid conviction at all cost, especially when it cost them their status.

Status is everything to the approval driven man. And so that is in the spiritual life. In the business life, they keep toxic employees because they do not want to avoid conflict.

They're always worried about the story that will be told if the person is let go or if they're pushed outside of of the fold.

There are few's bold decisions because they'll upset people. They're always navigating.

“They're always navigating and playing in the middle in the cautious zone, right?”

And they become politically cautious instead of strategically courageous. They become politically cautious instead of strategically courageous. You know, in in life, there are times where it takes courage to do what is right. And this person who is approval driven will always be politically motivated, making sure they're navigating the thoughts and the opinions of others rather than stepping out with courage when it's time to make choices. They don't leave from conviction. They lead from consensus. Consensus is a dangerous gain, right?

Because oftentimes in consensus, we have social chains. And those social chains are tied to everybody else's beliefs, opinions or thoughts.

And so what you get is mediocrity at best.

“This creates a slow decay, not a rapid decay, a slow decay.”

Cultural confusion because people don't know what their true identity is because the identity is a constant moving target. And mediocrity is disguised as harmony. Sometimes harmony is the great erosion of our business culture. Because harmony oftentimes tries to appease all things and all people and you can't do it. So this is a person number two. This is the approval driven man, okay? Now person number three, this is what we call the integrated man or the whole man as CS Lewis calls it. This is a very, very rare leader, okay?

And you have experienced, if you've experienced this or you, you know someone in your life that exemplifies this, they'll immediately stand out once I'm describing this to you. Who is this person? This person is governed by principle, not their appetites.

It's a person who is constantly pushing away appetites for the sake of making sure that principle is always put out first.

They're anchored in truth, not applause. It's not the applause that they live for. They're living for that internal truth and instinct towards moving towards the truth. And they're comfortable being misunderstood. They're okay when they know that they're going in the right direction and people don't understand. They're disciplined internally before they demand externally. They don't ask people to do the things that they're unwilling to do.

“I love, you know, this old adage that I used to recite and I would write it on different areas of my life is I always wanted to be a servant leader.”

And a servant leader I always described as, is someone who is willing to go last and get low.

Go last, get low. That's always a servant leader. Somebody who is willing to be at the lowest level who is also willing to go last, right?

And that is what I'm talking about here discipline internally before they ever demand externally. If you're demanding something that you're not willing to do yourself, it is it is not someone who is representing truth, right? And so Lewis is kind of larger body of work when he's writing about the abolition of man. He's talking about these traits and men that need to be disqualified, that need to be pushed aside. He talks about this man aligned with objective and moral truth. He says becomes whole. You know, it's not that we are present and whole at all times, but a man who will be present with truth in his life and constantly moving towards it will be in the process of being made whole.

And in theology, that would be kind of the concept of sanctification. It's moving towards, right? It's not that you are perfect, but it's moving towards that truth that you hold dear to.

“This whole man, this integrated man in the spiritual life is obedient before before it's visible, right? Like they are always obedient when no one else is looking there.”

Their quiet time, their life when no one can see that life behind the curtain, right? Is as strong and more obedient than oftentimes the life in the external. They're consistent in private and they're not moved by cultural wins. They have conviction. They have a belief system. They have a code of honor, right? That is a person who has disintegrated man in the spiritual life. How about in the business life? They make hard calls and they make them quickly.

They see when truth is present and they move towards that truth without hesitation. They hire and they put people in their life for alignment, not convenience. It's not about somebody solving an issue or problem, but it's about putting the right people on the right team who are going the right direction. They hire for alignment, not convenience, and they build systems rooted in principle.

They have principles that are always present and the systems never are in opposition to it.

And then lastly, they think long-term. It's not about the present, it's not about tomorrow, it's about the future, it's about that long-term vision. They an integrated man or the whole man is always looking towards that what I call in business the North Star. They have something that is always making or a higher decision-making process. In our business and in our world, our North Star, my North Star is what I talk about a lot, which is impact others, the nonprofit organization that we have.

Well, how does that impact impact others? Should we make this choice? Should we build this product? Should we build this thing?

It's always with that in mind and it allows us to align towards something greater or bigger.

This person, this whole man, can build something that outlifts him because he isn't building to protect himself. All right, the ego, the person who's building out of ego, the person who is the self-oriented man, they're building a monument to themselves at all times. The person who is always looking for approval, external approval, they're building a monument to others. Right, the ego person is building a monument to themselves. The person who is always looking for others approval, they're building a monument to others.

And in the integrated manner, the whole man, they're building something that outlifts them because they're not building to protect themselves. They're not building just for others, not building for themselves, they're building for the future.

“So how do we wrap all this up? So how do we apply this to every area of our life?”

The first thing I want to ask you is this, what type of person are you under pressure?

When you think about those three areas, right, the person who's self-oriented, the person who is making decisions based on everyone else, right? And the person who is whole or the person who is integrated. What type of person are you under pressure? What type of person shows up when the thing that creates the most fear, and maybe it's the lack of money, shows up? What type of person shows up when someone's challenges you, right? Like when somebody goes at you or somebody goes against you?

What is it, what is it that shows up? Your relationships reflect who you are.

“If I could look at your relationships, it would be fairly easy to determine which one of these three persons or men you are, how you carry yourself.”

Your team reflects it. The people that are closest to you on your team reflects it. Your revenue and your wealth also reflects it. And your inner peace most importantly reflects it. Systems amplify the men or the men that is running them. If you're fragmented, your business will fragment. If you're integrated, your culture will stabilize.

Here's the last challenge I want you to have, or I want you to hear. Here's the closing challenge. You don't need all the tactical things to make you better. You don't need a better funnel, you don't need a better CRM, you don't need a better pitch, you don't need better employees. You don't need all of those things to make you better.

“You need to become more disciplined, more anchored, less ego-driven, and less approval dependent.”

You need to become more disciplined, more anchored, less ego-driven, and less approval dependent. As we think through these three men, these three people that CS Lewis outlines in his essays. I'm very much convicted because as I strive to be that integrated whole man, I realize that there are areas of my life where that ego-driven, that one that is self-oriented shows up in certain areas. I know that often there are times where I will let the consensus rule, even though I know that there is truth present.

And I know that sometimes that second man shows up.

But the goal of this podcast and the goal of this concept and what CS Lewis was writing is to begin to choose to be that whole man, to choose to be the integrated man, to choose to be one who holistically dives and anchors into purpose and into truth in every area of your life. Do not be satisfied if that whole man shows up in one area of your life, but not all areas of your life. In our lives as driven entrepreneurs, oftentimes we'll master one segment of life. We'll master business, we'll master relationship, we'll master sales, we'll master marketing, we'll master certain areas of life.

But what CS Lewis challenges us to become a whole man, to integrate at all levels, to make sure that truth and anchoring into truth isn't just present in the area that we actually find success in. But it's anchored and it's tied to every area of our life, to our faith, to our relationships, to our leadership, to our business, and to the culture that's all around us.

I'd love to connect with you further and you can connect with me on social media at any Wilson official on any of the social media channels.