Comedian Danae Hays on being Funny, Southern and Gay

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Listen in, Lusselmore. Woo, woo. Had a McDonald. You're a sister. Hello, and welcome to Juicy Scoop.

I'm so excited to introduce you to a new Juicy Scoop where you may be familiar with her hilarious down-of-comity. Yes. She's a funny lady.

Hi, funny lady. Thank you for having me. Not the dorkiest thing to see. She's a funny lady. Deney Hayes.

She is got her buck while tour. She is a tall, gorgeous, happy lesbian from the South. Happy lesbian. I need to make tour merch, and says that. I'm a happy lesbian.

(laughs) So sad. Oh my gosh, but we were just talking about my Juicy Scoopers know. I love fashion.

I always think I look good when I choose my outfit on stage.

But I've been doing this for so long, and I have changed my style many times on stage. So I just started wearing like dresses. Yeah, I never did. I feel like that would be hard doing stand-up comedy in a dress.

When I started, I never wore dresses, 'cause I thought, oh, that's distracting and legs, and I don't think people. And then when I saw younger people and other comedians like dressing up, and I'm like, my God, you're right.

I'm like, I like that look. And then some of it, I like some of it. I didn't in any way. I, your body is banging, and you have a real nice, snatched flat waist.

“That's you, which I think is the best thing you could have”

if you are a female comic for good about being funny. All you need is a divorce. Just go through a divorce. I think I dropped 25 pounds after I got a divorce. And people are like, my de-divers from your other way.

For your other way. But you only have one way. I was about to say, I need you to have a girlfriend that I don't like that. I'm a Mormon Swinger.

No, yeah, I was married to one lady. Sounds like I was married to a 80 year old, but I was married to a lady. And after the divorce, I think I did. I think I dropped like 25 pounds.

Like, the divorce died as the way to go. And people were like, oh, she's on those empathic. And I'm like, no, it was literally just stress, nicotine, and then lack of sleep. Well, I don't know.

It looks pretty good on you. I'm like, you doing it? Yeah. Like you're doing it.

“You know, I afraid you're going to get the,”

like, get become a fat, happy lesbian. Look, I want to be able to stand sideways to stick my tongue out and look like a zipper. Like, that's my goal in life.

I've always been the girl that struggled with her way.

I think I was really, I was 16 or 17. And I had just, like, I just had a muffin top day. Like, my muffin top was just, it was there. And I would not take, like, my warm-up shirt off my softball jersey to play softball.

I was the only one with it still on. And my parents were like, you were a softball player, too. Were you out at 16? No, no, I hate all that. And everyone that on this on the softball teams,

are they gay? I would say, like, I played softball at the University of Alabama and I would say probably 40%. That's nice. Yeah, so we, you know, but you weren't allowed

to date the other players. Okay, I did, but you weren't so fast. But at 16, you, did you know or you weren't out? No, I knew, I knew when I was eight years old. How did you know when was that moment?

I didn't know what the word gay meant. I mean, you know, I'd seen Ellen the generous on TV and I was like, "We're count of the same, but not really." So did you identify more with her as being a gay woman or that I want to do what she does?

'Cause I know I'm funny and I could see myself doing that. She dressed different than most women, especially in the South, like, everybody in the South, a lot of the women wear like Lily Pulitzer

and like, they always look like they're going to church,

even if it's on a Tuesday and Ellen had a cool little style there for a minute, not really my style, but I was like, "Oh, it's cool. "She could color outside the lawns." And I just gravitated towards that.

I was a tall boy, I always wanted to beat the guys out on the playground and then I just started to develop a crush on only the girls when I noticed all the girls were like, "I like the guys." And the guys were like, "I like the girls."

And I was like, "Well, what does that make me?" I didn't know what gay was. So I told that to my parents and they were like, "Oh, hell, no, they were not about it." We're from a really small town in Alabama.

- Were you religious? - Yeah, the whole family were Southern Baptist. But I think it was less at that time about religion

"denait to have a boyfriend then that would be a husband "and she'd have kids." And I think they also were like, "This is gonna make her life really hard "if this is who she is, and then she has to be this

"in our 1200-person town in Alabama." Child blame on it, what have been really freaking hard. But then I'd say, "Hey, did they just go, "okay, well, you know, and like brush it off "but they worried by in silence or was it a constant

"conversation throughout your childhood?" They took me to a conversion therapy.

“They didn't know at the time that that's what it was.”

They didn't like say, "We're taking you to conversion "because we've had these conversations later in life now." And they were like, "We found the guy "that said he could help with this. "We didn't know that that's what conversion therapy was.

"It was a religious therapist." And then he would just sit there and it was recliner. He was like, "What fucking therapist sits in her room?" Just you and him? Yeah, just me and him.

And he would sit there with his feet up

and he would always be eating a turkey sandwich on white bread.

And it would just get stuck to the roof of his mouth and he'd be trying to get it all the whole time. And he whistle, and I'm not, I'm not bullshit when I said this. He whistled when he talked. And he would just look at me and he'd be like,

"Denay, it's not a sin." (laughs) It's not a sin to think about robbing the bank, but it is a sin to go out and rob it. And so that was kind of our motto.

Oh, okay. So I could think about hot girls, but I couldn't touch hot girls. And how long did you go to head? Like how many sessions got out?

I wanted to say maybe a year.

“But would you talk about other things like a normal therapist?”

Like how was your week? How was school? It was just constantly about it.

It would always start that way.

Then I would be struggling with this week. And that was the same age that I got diagnosed with OCD, really bad, and so we-- And how did you, how did that come about? I started feeling these feelings about how I knew I was different,

but I couldn't control them. And I couldn't get them out of my head. And I was like, I just want to change. I just wish I liked the boys. And then because I was so out of control

with that area of my life, I started to develop OCD. So it was just constant counting with my feet. How many steps I was taking? How many times I touched a door knob? I had to tell my parents I loved them.

20 to 25 times before I could go to bags. I thought they were going to die on their sleep. And I needed them to know I loved them.

I've never really understood that.

How all of a sudden it can happen.

“And then in your head, you come up with the number of those things?”

Yeah, it's more of like, OK. I need there to be 17 steps for me, at least. I need there to be 17 steps by a time I get to that stop sign. And if I could only make it in 19, I would start having to take bigger steps and jump in so that I could get back to 17.

And then how do you correct that? That was a lot of just-- my parents were very patient with that, because that was the worst part of it all. My parents were just always using logic with me. Like, did they were not going to die if you take 19 steps over 17?

And I would spiral. And they would be like, we're going to force you to walk from here to there and you cannot count. In fact, I don't want you to recite something in your head out loud so that you can't physically count.

Starting to do that, we're just like living in the misery of not being able to fulfill that tick eventually made it easier for me. But do you have it anymore? Yeah, my OCD's now more of like obsessive loops, so it's less of like killing and physical actions.

And it's more of like, when I'm in a really healthy space, it's my superpower because I get obsessed about what it is that I want to do. And my brain will not stop thinking about it from the time. My eyes open until my eyes closed. Like, I could go, you know, if I'm awake for 14 hours,

there's not a single 30 minute period where my brain hasn't hit that loop again. It's just rumination after rumination. So in a good way, it would be like focus in manifestation. Absolutely. So back in 2022, I was watching Chelsea Hamler at the ramen.

And I'd never done stand up before. Like, I was just solely making funny videos on online. And I filmed myself at the ramen, watching her as a spectator. And I said, one of these days, I'm going to be on that stage. Wow, I would go back and I would watch that video constantly.

And I was like, in my mind, I was like, I don't have a path forward, but I know I'm going to do it. I know I'm going to do it. So for the past four years, I've been obsessed about the ramen. Never do and stand up.

And then I just had my ramen debut last week. So it's like, it's a, it works in my favor. Yeah, I'm definitely believe in, in my day, we call it secreting, because there's a book called The Secret. I love the secret.

Yeah, everyone calls it manifestation. Yeah. But truly, it's also prayer. It's whatever works for you. It's actually believing in what you want.

don't say he's going to be your husband.

That's jinxing it. Yeah. And manifestation is like the opposite of jinxing. You should say, you should vision it.

“You should be positive in your thoughts and confident in your success or whatever.”

And yeah, when I was young, we had a cable. And it was an evening at the improv. And my parents, we'd watch it. We watched them, you know, all these comedians go on. They do these shows.

And my parents would be like, oh, one day, how there will be on the improv stage. And then I do remember the first time I did the LA improv. And I was like, oh, you know, so I love that. And there's many other moments that I've done that.

So it's cool to hear that you did it, too. And it worked out and congrats. Thank you. So let's talk about a little bit about your, um, doing these videos and how you kind of realized you were funny.

Yeah, my dad, he bought me a camcorder back when I was like 12, 12, I think. This was before social media. Like, there was no, was my dad would say Facebooks, you know, none of that.

But I just was always sitting my dad and my mom down on the couch.

And I was making them watch my Saturday not love performance. So I would, you know, I'd come up with like four story lines or four sketches. And then I would play all the characters. And my dad was like, you know, probably because he was getting sick and damn tired of having to watch me.

He's like, I'm not buying a camcorder. That way you can film it and watch it yourself. So he did. And I learned how to edit, um, I just started creating as many sketches as I could come up with. And I would edit it to where it looked like this character was talking to this character.

And would you put it on YouTube or anything? No, because YouTube, this was like, 2006 maybe. And I think I didn't even hear about YouTube to like 2008. Okay, so all of this was really just for me to have a creative outlet. And um, so I've always been that girl.

But when you grow up in a really small town in Alabama, um, the arts aren't really celebrated.

“Like, you're kind of a loser if you want to do theater.”

And I was like, I'm going to be a loser. But I also was a stellar athlete who went on to play college softball. And we want a national championship. Oh, would you go to college? Alabama. So, oh, that's awesome.

So I was stellar in that athletic department. And I was getting so much praise doing that because that's what we love in the south. And I just didn't have the balls to do entertainment. So when the pandemic happened and we were all sitting at home and I was watching, and did you have a regular job at that time?

Yeah, I was doing a pyramid scheme, Heather. I was so sling in, uh, I was sling in fitness programs on the internet. Oh, really? Tell me about that. Let me say this. All right, I mean, it's called an MLM, right? MLM. I'll tell you about marketing.

Now we'll say this out of all the network marketing, you know, businesses out there. You're as well as the best. My mind was pretty good because we were helping people feel good. You know, however, you know, I'm very embarrassed. The fact that I did that, but was it a product too?

Was it how would you get people underneath you to then get up people underneath them? Like, how would that work?

So I'd never heard of network marketing other than maybe.

I think it was called Advocate. A lot of people in my hometown were doing that. But my ex wife, she was really good in the beach body world. Okay. Like, really, really good. And I wanted to move to California and get out of Alabama for a little bit,

but I didn't have a job because I was selling real estate at the time. And she was like, well, why don't you join my team and become a coach? And the way it was presented to me, which is how you learned to present somebody else, seemed pretty easy. And you don't really understand the ins and outs of it.

But once I joined, my job was to help people buy fitness programs that they could do at home. And not have to go to a gym to do.

“So that's why I'm like, okay, I wasn't out here pimping like leggings out or Tupperware.”

Yeah. There was some value of like helping people feel good about themselves. And I still get messages from a lot of the people that I signed up that say, you know, I know you probably didn't enjoy doing multi-level marketing, but you helped me lose 50 pounds and I'm really grateful for you for that.

So that is like, it's a conundrum. Yeah. Yeah, good. Yeah. Okay. So you're doing that, which is also great to be in it when the pandemic hit, right?

That was like, everybody was working out at home. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's when you started to do some funny like comedic videos. Yeah. I started doing a little bit of that.

Nobody really seemed to care and then I posted on a whim one night. I posted on a whim a prank phone call to a taxidermist in Alabama. I saw that one asked him if he'd stuff my dog. And had he not agreed to it and acted like that was too big of an ask.

But he was like, yeah, where's the dog at? And I was like, he's in my date freezer. And he was like, you've done everything right, bringing him up. So that video got like 26 million views. It is really funny and like how you're like, and then also with your accent and everything.

And how you're like, you know, the dog really liked to always put his paws on the top of the chair.

“Yeah. So could you put him, could you position his body in that way?”

Like he's palton. Yeah. And he was like, oh, yeah. Like we can put him in any position. And so what happened with that guy? So funny enough, I called him back and I said, hey, that was a prank phone call. I'm not bringing my dead rot waller to get stuff.

He was like, oh, man, um, that's kind of said. He was like, business is really slow right now. And I was like, you asshole, didn't I? I said, what's your number? Um, or your business name and everything.

I'm going to put it in the comment section of the video, you know, if it does well. So the video took off and I think he got like between seven and $10,000 worth of business from that prank phone call. So I don't know a little better. I don't harass any of them after that.

“Do people in the South actually do their pets?”

Taxi driven in part of a couple of people stuff in their chihuahua. When someone had really, yes, when someone has like the deer head. Yeah. Like in their living. That's just about every living room in Alabama or man cave. So you kill a deer.

Yeah. And then you, it's got to be a book. Okay. With the man, you mean, yeah, the boy. And then you, who like takes the head to the guy? Well, you take the whole body. Okay. So you don't want to just chop its head off in the woods.

Okay. And you want to, the goal is to take it to a process and plant and let them strip the body of all the meat and the tenderloins, all that, the back strap, and then you just do the hand. And then you vase sometimes will transport it over to the taxidermis and then they'll melt it for you. And do people ever resell that like a piece of furniture? Absolutely. They do it all the time.

Yeah. Because they're like, I, I never shot a 12 point.

But I'd like to have said I had someone by this all Facebook marketplace and put it in the living room and pretend I shot it. Wow. It's, it's me in. Yeah. Yeah. You'd never see a woman tagling a guy off Facebook marketplace for a, you know, a 14-year-old dead deer. Yeah. But a man would.

I grew up here. So we don't know about any of that. But now I live in an area that has a lot of deer and I just love it. It's so cute. Never. They're just so cute. Like whole family is a four and there's something that they're just so cute. But I, I hate, I understand if that's someone's culture and everything I hear to do. Can I just love how politically correct everybody in California as you're like,

but I'm not just like, you know what I'm saying? I'm really not because I feel like that is a cultural thing. And I, so I'm not going to say that like it's awful. I really do. I'm like that. No, I really a lot of people are not like that, actually. But yeah. I am, because down set, like that's because like I'm from Alabama, I live in Nashville now. And it's so funny because like I was on a podcast yesterday. Yeah. And there was probably six

or seven moments in that podcast where the host was like, I'm sorry if that was politically incorrect. And like, I didn't even know what politically incorrect meant until about three years ago, because like the shit people say back home, just I mean, just zingers left and right. And you have like my grandmother thinks it's okay to call people deaf and dumb. Like she doesn't say their death. She has to say their death and dumb. And I was like, grandma, we got to cut the last

half out. Like they're just deaf. And she's like, well, they can't hear nothing. So what does that make them? And I'm like, you just say, Dave, I can't hear it. Like I'm caught and she won't call somebody,

like she'd never be like, hey, that guy's a fat ass, but she'd be like, man, he is so big bound.

And just zingers left and right, note no political correctness back home. Now, where did the

“grandma think of you being a lesbian? I think it's a Prostor a little bit, but she was mostly”

upset because she thought in her heart. Like Heather, I'm not joking. Like she thought in her heart that I was going to marry Tim Tibo. It was so it was less about me being gay and more of like, oh, so we're not going to be able to have Tim Tibo in the house. She really thought there could be that could happen. He's married now with a child. And she still brings him up. And I'm just like, that was never in the plan. And you just love it because he's cute, football player and a Christian.

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juicy scoop and tell them to have them read Donald sent you. Experience the new standard in comfort and support with honey love. My mom, one of the things that got my stand up going was I relayed a answer machine message because we had an answer machine message. It was like one of my mom calling me and saying, and she had this like funny voice because she had like one vocal cord. She's like, I lost one of my vocal cords after screaming one of my five children. And she's like,

hey there, this is your mother. I've got two words for you, Conan O'Brien. He's six five, Irish, Catholic went to Harvard and he's going to be the new host of his own show at a single. And I just think that the two of you would be so funny together and, you know, and and then she would leave her phone number, you know, unlike I think I know the phone number should over the phone number. And so anyway, like she really thought that, you know, Conan O'Brien being

tall because I'm tall and Irish Catholic, I'm Irish Catholic. That was just like, yeah, and it's

“as if you can just call him up today and say, hey, want to go on a day, you know, that's what my”

grandmother thought about Tim was, oh, just give you a call. Yeah, I know my mom was like, why don't you try to find him? And actually, he had a younger sister who was like in different levels at the groundlings. And she did see the like I did a little bit at the groundlings or something about it. And she was like, that's my brother. And that was like so embarrassed because I would have gone out with them. Yeah, I actually was dating Lisa Cudro. Oh my god, I was like, you know,

but there was no interest or anything. And then only once did I see him in person. It's a pretty good story. Did you mention it? No, but this did happen. Okay. So to me, I'm all, I'm, you know, I was on Chelsea lately, writing, producing a show. And she did this like sketch where we were taking over the Conan O'Brien stages at Universal. So she had this idea of how like there was a locker room. And she was going to go in naked. And he was going to go in naked. And it was like this funny thing.

And so he was coming to do the sketch. And I was walking by and he was walking by with and he did like do a room at me. Really? Yes. This recent, like he's buried. I'm married. It didn't mean

I may have told her, I may have forgotten to tell her. I'm not going to get to get to you. Yeah.

“So, um, but both of us, I think have been married for a very long time. Like, you know,”

he's just a little older than I am. But anyway, that is, I would like to go on your show.

Now, I think it's just a podcast. But anyway, no, I've never was on a show. I never met him other than

that that time. But I was like, and I was with a couple witnesses. Yeah. So it absolutely happened. I believe. And I believe it. Yeah. It really did. Getting back to you. Okay. Someone, okay. We're with the comments. Heather, let your guests speak. We've already heard your lame story. Shut up. They say shit like that. Only the mean ones. And I just got a mean one in the card today that said something about, um, I have a pepperoni pizza face because I filmed a video with

no makeup. And I had zits on my face because I started my period, okay, from a guy. I'm just like, I try to post and ghost and not read all that shit. But it'll like, you know, you log into TikTok. And it'll be like, it is hard. Right there. It is hard. And it's, the one thing that really helped me

“was, and I mentioned this, there's this girl I can't remember her name right now. But she does”

her whole account brilliant is she'll find a post under like a beautiful person, you know, Kate Hudson something. And then she will read the mean comments that they're saying about Kate Hudson. Right. And they're like, she looks old. And then she shows the ladies face who said it. And the woman's like, yeah, we're like total, like, front but um, not put together or awful but whatever. And ever since she's done that and I found it and I follow her now,

it really, really helps because when you hear something, because there was like a time like the guys that would be like thinking, I looked so cute. I, you know, have a little outfit and I think it's chic and everyone's like, you know, whatever, tons of likes, everyone's like it. And then I would just see like, oh, she thinks that and it would sort of bother me. And now every time I read that,

“I just see this. You, that's what I see. I just see that. And I go, why, who cares? Please send me her”

profile. Because I'd love to. I can't help me. It's so wonderful. I fix with that with some of my friends in Nashville that, you know, like, like, Laney Wilson is a good friend of mine. I'll, you know, read her comments because I want to support her and then like, you know, a comment is bad and I'm like, how do you say that on this picture of Laney Wilson, you know what I mean? So that brings like some lightness of like, oh, there's just really miserable people out there. Yeah, period. The most, yeah,

it's so funny. Okay. So then you start doing, so that video kind of goes crazy. And then that encourages

you to start doing more of what you've always wanted to do. Yes. So that, once the prank phone calls,

I like, blood those draw. That was kind of what I was known for at the beginning. And then I kind of got tired of them because it's like, you can only do something so much before you've loose creative freedom on it. And so that's our doing sketches. So I brought a lot of the sketches back from, like, my childhood or that energy. And then, and would you do all those just by yourself playing different parts? Yep. Okay. Yeah. So that, because it was the pandemic. So I was, you know, kind of

isolated at home and and board out of my mind. And then I moved to Nashville and I started release in country comedy music. So like, one of my songs is called Dick in my nightstand. But it sounds like a legit, can you sing all of that? Yeah, she's like, I got a dick in my nightstand. I can

use with my lived hands. So good. Oh, when I'm alone, it always treats me right. Never to

turn on a friday night. So I started doing, you know, like, parody songs, if you will. Yeah, sound legit. Yeah. And the production. And you have a nice way. Thank you. And the production behind it sounds like it's going to be. You play the guitar too? No, I'm learning. And that's it's hard. Oh, my God. It's so hard. Especially I don't play any instruments or just any languages. I don't know how people do either of those. Yeah. I'm learning it. Yeah. So I started doing the music

stuff just to find another way to be creative. And that was when my agent, my now agent called and he was like, hey, I'd like to take a meeting with you. And I was just like, oh my God, it's so hard to even get an agent's attention when you aren't out doing what you want to be doing to get the agent's attention. Now, were you making any money online yet? Yeah, being creative. Okay. At this point, I had given up selling the Tupperware. Yeah, doing the fitness stuff. And I was solely 100% a content creator.

And when he called me in his office, he was like, do you do stand up? And it was like me, him and like 11 or 12 other guys at CAA. And I just thought in that moment, I was like,

I do it all the time. And he goes, really, can we see some clips? I was like, oh, I've actually never

“recorded any of my stuff. But I will next time. And he was like, what do you say if we do like a”

tester run with the even books, seven comedy clubs and just see how the tickets go? And then we can reassess after that. And I was like, yeah, like, how long is my set? Like 10, 15 minutes. And he was like, no, no, no, you're the headliners. You get an hour. And I was like, oh, okay, great. Yeah, that's great. What, when do you want to do this? And he was like, ah, two, three months? I was like, okay, cool. I left there, Heather. And I drove home. And I was like, how many followers did you have at this

time that they thought that you had a big enough name that you could headline and sell out? I want to say across Facebook, TikTok and Instagram probably two and a half million at the time. Oh, that is great.

And they were like, let's, let's try it. So I drove home and I hit me. Number one, I've never

done stand up. Number two. I've never done anything in front of a live crowd. And number three, how the hell do you write an hour long show? So I went home and I YouTube, how do you write a stand up show? And like nothing pulled up. And I was just like, do you know, I just have to say, do you know that Sarah Silverman had a movie? Like, it was her stand up movie? And this is probably like, I don't know, 15, 20 years ago. It was so funny. And it was basically that she has a show

“that night, but she hasn't prepared any material. Yeah, I remember that. That's, yeah, it was so funny.”

Yeah. That was, that was me. This is a crazy. So you looked it up. Yeah. I was like, did you use AI? No help. You chat GPT wasn't even a thing back in. All right. And so I was just like, what do I do? So I find this one-gown YouTube. And he's like sitting in like a basement. And I'm like, it's got like 50 views on it. Oh my, this guy must not know what he's doing, but I have no direction. Yeah. And then really, how many friends are doing stand up comedy? So I didn't have anybody to call.

So I know the rooms that the agents booked, they were in close enough for you to get to or you were going to have to, like, travel. So it was Birmingham, Huntsville, B.M. on Nashville, Charlotte, and Greenville. Okay. So Southern. And so yeah, I could drive. And so this guy's just like, you know, just like right from the heart, just try to find good segue from one joke to the next. I was like, all right, fuck this. This doesn't help at all. So I just sat down and I thought,

well, how can I do this? And I just started writing things down. Did it scare you at all to think that you were going to get in front of people, or throughout your life, you were comfortable being giving a speech in class or whatever. As weird as this sounds, it didn't freak me out at all. That's good. The only part that freaked me out was I didn't really have a playbook of how to

write it. So I ended up coming up with some material. And my first show was 90 minutes because I wrote

way too fucking much and drew it way out. So the first time I ever did stand up with was your headlining a place. You didn't try to get up any place locally for five minutes. I didn't even think

“to do that. That's how fresh Green and brand new I didn't even think to do that. In fact,”

I want to say a week before the first show, my agent was like, why don't you just so that we, you know, it's all new material. Why don't we put you in like a 20 person room in this, this back lot of this improv comedy place called Third Coast comedy. And I was like, yeah, we could do that. And I'll just get my close friends and family. I knew like, yeah, we're just posted online and see if anybody wants that ticket. Since you've already sold out the Nashville show,

and I was like, okay, so I did. And, you know, we got 20 people in there. And that was the 90 minute show. And then I had a week to kind of cut, you know, some fat off the bone. And then I went into the seven, the seven comedy clubs. Which, yeah, once I got on stage, I was Bob and I was like, this is the most addicting feeling I've ever had my laugh. But I don't know if I, if what I know now, if I knew it back then, I don't think I would have agreed to it. Because it's just,

sometimes you can no too much and it'll keep you from saying yes. But I didn't know anything, so I said yes. Now have you gotten any hate or heard about hate from comedians that, obviously, I know comedians that have done doing this for 30 years. That have some definite bitterness towards a TikTok sensation that's taking stage time from people that are classically trained. Though there's no classical, we're not Belarus. There is no playbook for

stand-up. But there's definitely a way that, you know, previous generations did it, which is yes, start with five minutes. You start with ten. You become a feature. You become, you know, move your way into headlining. You've done, you know, you do the road for a few years. Then you

told me, I could not start stand-up in LA. Right. They're like, what do you mean? You can't start being a stand-up in LA. I'm like, well, I'm born and raised here. So what else do you have?

“So my trajectory was different than someone else's as well. So that's why I'm like, I don't,”

I've never felt a bitterness towards that. I'm like, you do you, boo, make it work. I have noticed

over the years, so that certain, there was a time when YouTubers, they did like a YouTube tour. Yeah. And that didn't seem to work. Because those YouTube people for, for most part, were very comfortable being alone in their room at editing. And it was funny because of the editing. Right. And without the possible, you know, a little bit of training on the stand-up, it maybe a couple people made it. Like Trisha Pades. Yeah. I told the story, but I did a thing

where she was years ago. And I was like, it's on some weird network that doesn't exist anymore. And they're like, we want to pair a real stand-up with a YouTuber and see if they can stand-up. And I got Glosel. And she had already done some stand-up, but that was like a secret. So she already like, she was funny. She was easy, whatever. And Trisha Pades went up there. And I didn't know who she was. I just thought she was just like the sexy little adorable thing.

And, you know, she went up there and she was very, she's pretty dirty. And because you, nobody had much prep time. Like you only had like a few, maybe we met like three times or something. And so anyway, afterwards, she, um, we're in the green room and she's like, should I start doing stand-up? And all of a sudden, there's all this candy in front of her. And I go, where did you get

“all that candy? And she goes, oh, my fans brought me candy, because that's what I do on my”

YouTube. I just sit in a candy and talk into the camera. And I go, and you have a million,

whatever, you're making money. I'm like, fuck the stand-up. Eat the candy. They're living, whatever. Why would you ever want to stress about this? Well, now, you know, 15 years later, she's doing so amazing. And she does a stage. But the thing that she's doing now, the singing and the stage show is, is better suited for her. You know what I mean? And she's doing great. But it's like, it's that kind of a thing. So that was a long-winded thing. But have you had to

defend yourself among, against some traditional stand-ups that might be a little better towards you? No, not directly, but I know that that energy is out there. Yeah. And I just don't associate with it, only because if, like, we're not doctors. Exactly. You don't have to go to school for this shit. You don't have to be a certified stand-up. Either you're funny or you're not funny. And so, and you're all different kinds of storytelling. There's jokes there. You know, there's all different

kinds of ways of being funny. There's people who do all impressions or who do all characters. I mean, one of the only talk to the audience, like, a mat, right. Somebody else would say that's not real stand-up. Right. There's a thousand ways to set the pot. And one of the greatest athletes I've ever played with in my life, she was a four-time all-american and an Olympian that I played with at Alabama. But we also were from the same hometown. So we went to high school together,

middle school together, travel ball together. She didn't start playing until she was 12 years old.

“That is so late. Everybody starts playing. If you want to go being a Olympian, you start when you're”

four. She started when she was 12, but she was naturally good at it. And I remember when we took her on the team, the other players' parents were just up in arms about it. They were like, "This kid is raw talent. We've invested thousands in our child. How is she going to get to start over my kid?" And then eventually the stats just don't lie. And it's like, she could just do it. She just had a different path to get there. So I think on that note, the goalie of the USA team,

of hockey, his story, was something like that. He wasn't the chosen kid in high school. That got to go to the special school for brooming the best hockey players to, you know, even the college I think he went to was in division one. And then, you know, he's like the greatest

goalie ever. Yeah. I mean, everybody has their own unique story. And I think the cream always

rises to the top. And so if somebody has been doing it for 20 or 30 years and maybe, you know, they're wondering like, "Why is it my career where I want it to be?" I truly believe my dad's always said the cream will always rise to the top. He just had to come. It's the people who quit that aren't going to figure it out. And, you know, that naturally great person that is beating the comedy clubs doors down on open mic nights and then, and then doing it,

the, if you will, the traditional old fashioned way, they will get whether they're supposed to go. But this new generation of like the kids that are, you know, in their teens right now, social media is all that they know. And so that's what's going to break everybody. And it's like AI now in the sense of like, you can hate AI, which I do. But if you don't adapt and learn

family too. I was a realtor. I was too. I read that about you. Yeah. I was a realtor too. And I,

“I've had to remind her, like, mom, you need to learn how to ask chat, GPT, how to market yourself”

in your particular demographic. She's like, but it scares me. I don't know how to use it. And I was like, you're either going to have to learn how to use it or you're going to get left behind. And so that's why I just, I was like, social media. I'm not going to ever view it as a bad thing for me because like, like, Trisha, my fans have learned to just like follow me through their phone screens. And they have this parasocial relationship with me. And so when they get to see me live,

it's such a treat for them because they've been seeing me so much on their phone screens. So it,

it is totally different. And I respect, I, I have to always say, I respect the traditional old

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better that they whatever only have you know, 500 followers. Gap because you're not posting five times a day and you're not coming home and you're not having someone film your set and then spending

“nobody, you know, a lot of people don't like to watch themselves back. Well, you have to and you”

have to cut it up and you have to post it and everything. One of the things though is interesting, again, the traditional thing of this, but the first time I did stand up, it was like after a little like six weeks show and I love that because I knew I had to do it, but much like you, I had a deadline.

I would have never done it, had I not had a deadline and it was this little show at the end

and everybody's coming and everyone's excited to come because I have my USC friends and my high school friends and my parents go into the Santa Monica improv, definitely existing work. So I'm like, okay, here's my deadline. I'm going to do it. So after that, it went really well and everybody's like, oh, and somebody gives me this agent's info. I call him and somehow I got him on the phone and I'm like, oh yeah, I like just did this class and I just had this and he said,

well, first of all, nobody in the industry should see your stand up after two until you've done it for

which is kind of true, too. So I'm like, well, how do you tell someone that's starting to do

stand up, not to film it and put it out there? Right. Because they think everybody, you know, how could you not? I filmed what I had on my yogurt this morning. What do you mean? I'm going to do stand up and not put that up. Right. But I do think for some people, you know, you could wait on that a little bit or should or do very shorter. No, I've had people in my team be like, let's, let's, let's, you know, try to get a special in the works. And I'm like,

I'm only on year three of doing stand up right now. There's no rush. I want to do this for the rest of my life. So let's continue to, you know, pound the pavement, get out there. I think I did

“120 shows on my first tour. I was like, and that was the best thing I could have ever done,”

because I got so many reps in. But yeah, I don't want to blow my load too fast, you know? And yeah, and put, you know, something that maybe I'm proud of right now, but that I have no idea how much more growth I can have out into the universe before I'm ready, because, you know, we're just getting started. So it's like, let's just be cautious about that. I remember when I was doing the improv, this is like, you know, in my 20s. And all these guys started to talk shit about me. And they're

like, she's packing the audience. Because I actually had friends. Yeah. Okay. He's fucking losers actually had friends. And they were really excited to come out at 8 p.m. on a Thursday night to see me. They were also laughing at all the other people. You should be fucking grateful. I brought these people. You know, but they tried to act like, oh, I'm not actually funny, because I again, I've been doing it like a year or two years. And I'm able to fill a room out when I do 10 or 20 minutes.

“Right. And that was really annoying. I think softball and I hate to keep bringing it up. But I”

bring up softball. I think being such an ultra competitive person sports taught me so much about, you know, having a jealous teammate or having a teammate you can't get along with or having a teammate that wants to play the position that you're just naturally better at. And like learning how to navigate those relationships, whereas like when I got into the comedy world, if something like that happened to me, it just didn't bother me any or if they, you know, said, oh, she hasn't been doing

this long enough to deserve what she has. I just put my, my brain just goes right back to playing at the highest level of softball and having to deal with 18 other women on one team. Yeah. And they all want to play and they all want to start, but there's only non-positions. And I don't know. I don't, I don't really let myself get too worried about what other people's opinions are of me just because I just love what I do so much. And the only time I think I've ever fallen into that trap

was after my divorce, where it was a personal thing, not a professional thing, because like, no matter what somebody says about my talent, I just don't believe them, whether it's good or bad. I just, I don't crave affirmation and I don't crave criticism only because I never was like that in softball. But I just played the game and wanted to be great to play for fun. No, he'll know. Okay. That's always very interesting. Me too. Okay. So I'm the most non-athletic person

as a last pick for every team back then. They used to pick teams like at the PE, which is only once a week because it was Catholic school. Yeah. And it was just so like stressful to me. I just started playing Pickable Hansi outfit. Thank God. I'm sure you, I'm sure if we played

one game by the second game you'd kill me. I've never played athletic people, tennis people,

guys, playing against a guy. Now, the TikToks of these competitive pickable tournaments, though, like, y'all get really fucking mad at each other out there. I'm not at that level at all. I'm just happy to like return the ball and have fun. And now I'm like, now I'm going to love that. I'm like,

“okay, now the only way I like to play now is girls are all at my level. Or if we play guys,”

it has to be the guys have to match and the girls have to match and then we play with a guy. That's not your husband. And then you can then I kind of, that's a pretty, so it's like that's a pretty football. Yes. Yeah. And because it can be a lot of, you know, it's not good. Like, for example, like, I finally was starting to feel like I can't believe that I can play a sport. I mean,

I'm telling you I could never play. You look so athletic. Like, you look like you would have been

a volleyball player. And I'm tall. But I also I didn't start young. Yeah. And so because my mom worked and I was saying it was to five, like I wasn't doing sports or anything. And then then I just was like wanted to be like in the theater or whatever. And so, but I was like, God, mom, if you would put me on that soccer team, team at four, like I wouldn't be so fucking lame now. You know, like,

oh my god, this is like a million times easier than tennis. I think I can be okay. And then the first time

“I went right away, this woman was like mean and just like annoyed that like I didn't hit the ball back or”

whatever. Oh, my god. It took like it was like I was immediately at eight years old feeling lame. And I'm like, I just don't think that non-athletic, I don't think athletic people understand what it's like when you're not athletic because it comes so easy to you that you're like, I'm going to do that. And it's to say, and I would say, you know, this doesn't apply to you because you also are great on stage. But I'm saying one time I said, you know, would you make every kid in the class,

sing a solo? You wouldn't. Right. So why would you expect every kid to want to play performively? People are watching you miss the ball. Right. The whole, everyone's just fucking horrible. Right. And so it's like, so I start playing football and and so like I actually like it and I can play pretty good and I can carry on a game in a rally. And this for the first time my life, I can actually play a sport. So so that is why that's why I like it. But it is easy for

everybody. Everybody can pick it up. Is it singles, too? Or is it just double? You're not really do single. See, that's when my competitive nature comes in. I was like, I don't want to have to

“rely on anybody to like put me out there by myself. That's why I love golf. Do you play golf?”

You should get in the golf. No, we play golf. Okay. Yes. I was about to say, if you like pickleball. Yeah. My husband and son are really being good at golf and I'm just starting to play. And you know, that's what I also liked. I also liked that. I would my son first started to play. I was like, oh my, he's competing against somebody and he's like, wow, that was a great shot. Yeah. I was like, oh, you just don't see that in any other sport because you're really just playing

with yourself. 100%. Yeah. And that's stand up, too. That's the other thing of when, you know, because I did come from, you know, sketch to sketch and improv and plays. And what I loved about stand up is I was like, you only need yourself in a mic. Right. And you don't if you have a partner and they don't feel well, they're pregnant. They get another job. Oh, now how do we do this little two-person play or whatever it is? And so that is also what I love about stand up. And it is such a

unique talent, especially with so many people having podcasts and stuff, not very few people can actually talk for an hour by themselves and be entertaining and be funny. And so it's, it is a great thing that, you know, that you are doing. And I think that's awesome. My, my best friend is James

John. He'd never done stand up before. But he's truly one of the most naturally funny people I've ever met.

And so I had four comedy shows at a comedy club to kick the tour off. And I was like, hey,

“John, I got 15 minutes at the top if you want to take it. And he was like, really? And I was like,”

yeah, he's like, done. I'm, I'm down. And this was probably, I don't know, maybe I'm a month before the show. And we got there. And he just went out there. And you, honestly, other you would have thought, like, this guy's just been kicking ass at comedy clubs and open mic nights for years. And that also reminded me that like, a lot of times you're just put on this earth to do what you're supposed to do. And, you know, it's up to you to find it. And sometimes we find it later in life,

sometimes we find it more four years old. But seeing John do that and do it so well and just find a rhythm and go up there. Like, he wasn't even nervous. And it was annoying. I was like, how were you not nervous? I thought it was going to have a heart attack, you know, the two seconds leading up to my first show. And he was just cool as a cucumber. And now he's like, I want to do this. And I'm like, well, let's get it done, you know? It's, it's, and the same thing goes for someone

that is spending all that time posting or, you know, doing something in the creative arts online that isn't getting the views. It's like, well, do it for as long as you enjoyed doing it. Because that's the thing, like, when I would be auditioning and things like that, and I wasn't really making money at it first. And once in a while, I'd be like dating somebody and be like, my God, this has been dating you. You've gone on so many auditions. How have you booked any of them? And I'm like,

no, I never do. That's the fun of it. I never do. I never do. If this has got to be the one.

And so excited just to have it auditioned. I never expect to call back. I never, I'm like, that's not why I'm doing it. Like, I just go to the next thing. And I go, but if I ever feel I don't want to do it anymore, then I won't. But it's like, it's what I'm doing. I'm enjoying the journey. Yeah. Then just enjoy the journey. There's like, there's no like, oh, and then once you turn 30, go through her yourself off a building and stop doing it, like, what are you talking about? Like,

there is no timeline for it, which is really, which is really cool. Auditioning is like, literally,

doing some self-tapes over the past year. And just self-tapping alone, I'm just addicted to that.

“Like acting has always been like the pinnacle. Yeah. I've just always been like, I want to do”

the Robin Williams Eddie Murphy style where they get to play themselves or a character like themselves and then play a character like the nutty professor or Mrs. Doubtfire. Yeah. And yeah, so just auditioning alone has been just so fucking fun. And have you had any like childhood friends or anything that like secretly, or you found out that they were like not thrilled with your success and then you realized they weren't a friend. Oh, yeah. Yeah, not like close friends that

like I would go out to dinner with now, but like people that I went to college with just kind of like started mass unfollowing me. Once I once I started doing well and I'd like, you know, start liking their pictures and then I would realize, oh, they don't even follow me. And I'm like, what the fuck? Like what did I do? You know? And yeah, that's, that's just real. That's so real. I saw this, um, this girl, I just started following her and she told, if she popped up on my

page stage, she goes, I'm going to an event with three friends. I'm no longer friends with and what happened. She goes, I started to, she was a lawyer, but she started to do some online stuff. And she kind of lately was like, I want to kind of build this and like whatever gives this advice, whatever she was into doing talking about. And she's like a young girl. And so she said, all my friends and these are like a handful, you know, friends from high school.

First, I want to say she had one friend that would like everything share and even had multiple accounts to like and share. Okay. Then she had these other friends that they would watch her thing because then they would ask her about it. They were like, oh my god, that story about that date, what happened? So she knew they were watching it, but then she would check because she was so

in the infantile stages that they would never liking it. So then she would like, well maybe that

understand how this works. So she's like, hey, you know, it really helps me if you like and share and comment and, you know, and say that or you know, anything like that really helps me. And they turned out her and were like, what, why do we have to do that? Like you're annoying. And then so finally she was kind of like, well, then maybe we can't like really be friends or whatever. And then somebody wrote like, I can't believe to her. So I don't know, like, I can't believe

you're going to end a friendship over a like or a lack there of like, and then the the friend liked that. No, the one thing she liked was the mean comment. And I'm like, well, there's no more evidence that you need, then that is a sum, that is somebody who would is dancing on your grave but you're alive. One very like, so just know that it's a really bad happen to you. They might show up with a casserole or they may go, oh, but their secret, their initial first thought

is yeah, they're waiting to be you. And they're jealous. And this is something what I do what you do, what content creators do, what influencers do among women. It is something that a lot of people can enjoy and like, but a lot of people feel like it looks easy. And they could do it too. And because they're not doing it, they get like, I found some of my haters

“are fucking hilarious. And I go, oh, that's why you hate me. Because you're really fucking funny.”

Exactly. Didn't pursue it. Exactly. Yeah. It's always, I wish I was doing what they're doing.

Yeah. But I, and you know, I read a quote one time and said, go where you're in vise. And this was back during my, you know, fitness in real estate days. And I hated what I was doing. I tried pharmaceutical sales. I did real estate. I did all that to the sports broadcasting. And I just was not fulfilled. Then I read this quote and it said, go where you're in vise. And I started researching the ground links. And I was just like, I want to do that. So

back. I love sketch comedy. I love improv. I love all that shit. But I was just like, I'm from Alabama. People from Alabama don't move Delay and do that. So I just stopped thinking about it. But every time I would see a comedian online, like, I just kind of started becoming like, oh, I wish that was me.

“And I was like, finally, did I buck up? That's what you want to do. Go, go fucking do it.”

You know, I just don't think a lot of people like I did. I didn't have the confidence to go out and do it at the beginning. So instead, I would just be like, well, I wish that was me. Yeah. But I wasn't doing anything about it. So, um, you have a very cute girlfriend in the, in the outside. And, um, I mean, that outside, we're in the closet. No, she's the other girl of it. So you started telling me about how you guys met. I was like, wait, I want to say it for the show. So tell me how you guys met. Oh, man. Well,

friend's house, a mutual friend. And I was like, what do you do? And she's like, I'm an actress. And I was like,

“oh, my gosh, I would love to get an acting. I was like, I know nothing about it. And she's like,”

what's your email? I was like, uh, this and she goes, okay, I'm going to send you everything, all the resources for national acting that you need. So sure enough about four, five minutes later. That's when I would have known that she was interested in you because no other straight actress would help another straight actress with anything. See, I didn't know that now I know now I know, but I was also married at the top. So it was okay. Very like, platonic and just like very just kind of shows that she's

a nice person. Very fast person. Yes. She loves to help people. And so unusual in Hollywood. Yeah, but I guess in the South, it's different. Yeah, and she's from Wisconsin. She just was one of my moms from. Yeah, just meet Midwestern girl. Yeah. And then we ran back into each other. I had gotten a divorce at this point. We were at the American Country Music Awards in Texas. And I was like, I'm obsessed with you. You were the hottest thing I've ever laid eyes on. And you said all that. No,

in my mind. Okay. I'm not that bold. Okay. I'm not that bold. Uh, I probably acted really stupid in front of her. And, uh, she, we hit it off. We started hanging out at the ACMs. And then two days later, she was like, I'm going to flood a Memphis and surprise you at your show. She told my friend that. And she did. She surprised me. And at that point, you haven't, you haven't acted like you like her more than a friend. I was flirting with her, but I've known Jen for a, for a while at that

“point. I think that was probably three years. And she'd only dated guys. Okay. And so I just thought,”

you know, this is just going to be for me. Like, this is going to be something that gets me through another hard week. It's just be excited about this girl that I'll never have a chance with. Okay. Come on out. She was like, I've never had feelings for a woman in my off. And how did she say that to you? She goes to the show. She goes to the show. Did they get, doesn't make you nervous when you have people you know come to your show or does that make you even do a better show? Um, it depends.

Like my mom and my sister have never seen me do stand up. And the first time they saw me was

last week at the ramen. That was a little nerve wrecking just because I, you want to do such great show. Yeah. And it's such an amazing, you know, a venue. Right. But yeah, I would say I was really nervous when Jen came. Just because I was like, I want her to think I'm so cool and hot. Yeah. And then she liked the show. She loved it. We went out on Bourbon Street or not Bourbon Street, Bill Street afterwards. I don't, wouldn't recommend that at two o'clock in the morning. But we did it.

We held hands at a bar. I was like, I got this on lock. I was like, I'm, I'm locked. So now you're like, I now have you dated other girls that you were their first girl. I dated one girl in college. I was her first girlfriend. And she was so sweet. We took it so slow. But Jen is just different. Jen is just like the most godly woman on the planet. She is just so Christlike. And like, you don't, you don't enjoy cursing in front of her because it makes me feel bad. Now I cursed a few times during this.

I'm fucked. You know, you know, no, no G days in front of us where she draws the lawn. Okay. So I just, you know, I just wanted her to, I wanted to feel like I was good enough to date her. It was a first time in my life where I feel like I needed to be, I needed to like be better in order to date somebody. She's like Hobby Lobby. She is Hobby Lobby. If Hobby Lobby was a person, she just sweet and kind and live left love. And yeah, I just took it really she actually kissed me first.

I wasn't kiss her because I, I don't know. I just felt weird about doing it. And then what was that like for her then to share you with the world? It was tough because people magazine wanted to break it. And she was like, I feel like everybody's telling me I need to come out, but I don't feel like I

need to come out anywhere because I've never known I was gay. I just fell in love with you today.

Like I, I don't even view you as like a woman. I just view you as a soul. So she's like, it feels weird that I have to use the word coming out when that's never really been my story. And she told her parents that she liked me the day after the ACMs. She sat them down at breakfast and was like, I have a crush on Denise. I was like, oh, is that easy? My parents put me in a concentration camp,

“you know? Like, that's how you do it. She's like, yeah, we're from Wisconsin. And I'm like,”

so you're going to eat cheese while you do like what the fuck does that mean? Yeah. Oh, my parents, yeah, put me on a breathe in two about the middle of the woods and was like, until you change and get the devil out of you. Don't come home, you know? So we have so they were cool. Her parents were cool. They're only reservation was that I sing a song called Dick in my nightstand. They wanted you to sing the song. So they didn't like that I sing the song. Oh, they didn't like this song.

They're like, oh, she sings a song called Dick in my nightstand. No, not that I've got tips.

Like, if I could find a chapel to marry that girl two day, like, I love her. So I just cherish her.

Right. I just, well, when I, when you came, I'm like, oh, and you're married again or something. And you said, I'm not that gay. Oh, you said a gay, but I'm not that way. How did you say, yeah, you were like, oh, so you're married again. And I was like, well, I'm gay, but I'm not that gay. Yeah, because Lesbian's tend to like, you haul it the next day. Right. And here we are. We've been dating 11 months. And I, I'm already like, I want to marry her again. But yeah,

yeah, I guess I am pretty gay. I'm pretty gay. I guess. And if you were to get married, what would you wear? Um, I don't know. I love Lesbian wedding outfits. Yeah, I love that sometimes.

It just, I don't know. I just like it. I like dresses. I, I like some, yeah, I love it that sometimes

one wears a dress, one doesn't sometimes both wear suits, something in both where the same dress. I don't know. I think it's kind of fun. I just can't imagine myself being an address. I hate dress. Well, obviously, you should wear what's cool for you. I'd probably wear like a feminine suit maybe.

“I don't know. I think with your body, you should wear a, give it to me. Okay. I think you should”

wear like a, like, imagine J. Lo and a sexy white pants suit. I think you should wear a tight pants. She's got a little bit bigger than asked than I do. Well, I think you should go with like a shorter, like, like, it's tight, but it's a shorter leg. And then something very, like a lazy, like,

wear the lace, body suit underneath. Yes. And then a very nipped in, like cute jacket, but, like,

short, the jacket will only hit you to the mid hip and nip you in at the waist. I'm just going to call you when this happens. Heather, what's your style? Me for my way. Yeah. And then, and then, I mean, you wear boots. So you, I don't, I don't really want to wearing covers. I don't know where I want to do. I want to do just a sexy white pump because with this short Capri pants. Okay. Yeah, just, I'll give you a hauler. And you just come on down the Nashville. And when people ask,

what are you doing? I'm styling a lesbian for her wedding. Yes. I want to style a lesbian for their weddings. Yeah. I could love that. I just love it. I just can't imagine me wearing a dress, because I, that I'm not, I kind of have a hard time, like deciding where I'm at on, like, the spectrum of femininity and masculinity, because it's like my energy is more masculine. Like the bros love me and I love the bros, but I'm not very feminine, but I don't dress

super masculine, but I also don't dress very feminine. I'm somewhere in the, what are the kids calling that in droginist nowadays? I guess I'm in droginist. I don't think you are all though. Yeah. Because this outfit and everything is super cute, and you're like, I've monfucked myself into that. Yeah. You're like, you're not in droginist. No, no, no. Like I was like, yeah, what I was like, look at you, I was like, oh, like I wouldn't have, oh, she doesn't look like she works at Home Depot.

Well, I'm almost so afraid I was going to work at Home Depot when I came out. Why Home Depot? That's the only time she interacts with Lesbians. She's like, I saw a Lesbian today.

“I don't date, but I'm like, oh, no, where else did you see him?”

That's really only place I see him. Do you have any desire to be a mother? To be my mother? No, to be a mother. Yes. Yeah. Very cool. I know I better get started though, because I don't know if I want to have a child once I get close to 40. I want to be able to, you know, that kid should be able to go take a piss and a shit by itself at that point, without having to change its diaper. Well, I don't think 40's, you know, 40's. I was done

by the time I was 35. And I think that isn't, I think that's the perfect time because now my kids are grown, and I sometimes think I am so glad. Like, sometimes just like I go on to stay in there or something. I'm so glad. I don't have like boy scouts and like, I just think there's a time in your life, you know, and everybody's thing is different, and because of medicine you can have children, much older and all that. But I'm just like, yeah, there's a certain point where

I'm like, I'm really glad. I'm not at the welcome back night. Yeah. And there are times that I did it. It was really fun. And I had the energy to do it. I don't know how I did. I just, like, in my mind, I feel like the 35 is kind of like where I would want to start having that conversation.

“It's, I think it's the, for me, it was sort of the ideal time. But everybody's different on their”

timeline. You know, like, I feel like there's a big movement of people getting married and having kids really young again, which is like my age. It was like, oh, everyone got married at 29 to 30 every

movement of, you know, younger people. I was like, what were you doing? You were 20 years old and

Dad was 21 and y'all decided the next year. How many kids are in your family, too? I was in they popped a kid out at 22. And I'm like, what should your parents really young? My parents are

“really young. And my mom is 57, I think. And my dad is 59. Has anyone ever thought you were”

couple with your dad or anything? No, that would be weird, Heather. Well, it's happened. It's happened to me twice. No. With Drake. Stop. And it's the greatest compliment because I had him. I'm sure he loves it. I had him at 30, you know, over 30, I had him. So I didn't have him at 18. Stop. The story was the best one we were in Salt Lake City, you know, which is a little funky. And

Varro nice hotel number. We have time before the show. And so there it was like a little happy hour. So we

were sitting next to each other so he could watch the game. Yeah. And there was this couple to my right. And the guy was kind of like hipster like tattooed and he had those big earrings. Yeah. And she was older, but she wasn't like me older, like with like Botox and like hair. Like she was looking kind of your skin is flawless by the way. She had the whole time. She was looking kind of older. Okay,

“like flat hair and whatever. And at one point was she older or just haggard? I don't know,”

because it was Salt Lake City, but she was clearly older than this guy. Okay. Like by woman. Well, I need to care more by like 20 years. Put yourselves together. And at one point she's talking

to him and she put her hand on his chest and I'm thinking, oh, I thought that was her son. That

seems a little touchy, but maybe she's like son, get a job. I don't know what she was doing. Okay. So that I'm sitting there with with Drake. And we're talking. We're sharing food. I'm like, do you want that? Whatever. And then she looks over at me. He goes to Bathroom. She's something she goes. Can I ask you something? And I thought she's going to say, are you having McDonald or whatever? And she goes, are you guys together? It makes me so excited. Okay.

Right. But to the parent, it's actually flattering. To the kid, it's like, you want to fucking bath. But to the, I'm like, I go, oh, no, he's my son. Well, now I know this isn't her son. And she's like, oh, I thought, you know, we just said something in common. I go, oh, is that your boyfriend. She's like, no, he's my husband, but he really looks, he's actually a lot older than he looks. I'm like, oh, okay. She's like, I just thought maybe, you know, like, we could hang out or something.

And I'm like, no, this is my son. Yeah. The other time it happened was in Houston. We're at this airport hotel in Houston doing on the road. And this guy, which is by the way, Houston is like, such a creepy place to be because of that airport. It's like, it's like, number one trafficking, whatever, he was freaking out. And so we're there. And like, we go to the, already like, Drake was like, he gets annoyed if I want to like ask someone, an opinion, a question that's a human because this

generation doesn't think any human doesn't have it. Yeah. So I'm like, give me a minute. Like, I want to

“ask the lady because we just found a shit in our hotel room. And I want to get another room. You found a what?”

We did find an actual shit in the hotel room. So I went back. Somebody shit in the, like, it was, I don't know if it was dog. Oh, what? So we switch it. And then so now we're back. We had that incident, we came back. Now we're in the hotel bar and we're eating. And now we're kind of laughing because like now we had a beer or some food. And we're, I don't want to show that nice like everything's fine. And this guy comes up and he's up. Oh, my God, I saw you all fighting. And then you went

upstairs. It had some makeup sex. And now you're laughing at I was like, again, so happy. I was like, you think I'm young enough that this is my also my friend. What got just comes up to somebody's like, oh, she got one up her and fucked around and now you're better. And then Drake was what you didn't see mom is that he had like four beers while we were sitting here four shots or something. I'm like, I don't care that he was wasted in seeing double. He thought I was young enough to pull

you. Drake is just catching straight every time he goes back. But do you also think that Drake looks a lot older than he is? I don't, well, maybe that's the case, but it's me. I don't have young. How old did Drake have had? He just finished college. He just graduated from as you last year. I was going to say 23. Yeah. Yeah. I do get that my mom and I look like sisters. Like we'll go out to dinner. Oh, you want a sister trip? I'm like, doesn't your mom see your

mom on this level? I'm on eats it up. It's the greatest thing ever. And her accent is so cute. It's very nasally. She's like, now we're I'm her mom. I love it. It's just so I'm her mom. She

in LA and I have so many gay friends, gay male friends that there's just been times where I just

see a couple out and I just assume that they're too gay men together, you know, and the fact that they look alike and they have a big age difference doesn't mean anything because a lot of gay guys like to find like a younger version of themselves. There's a lot of sugar daddy said,

“and I just was trying this one. These two guys and I'm like, oh, so how did you guys meet?”

And they're like, at birth. This is my dad. And I was like, oh, I was like, I thought you guys were just like a, like a well-dressed, you know, December game couple. Like, I would say, oh, I forgot. Like, there's streets walking. I have a game that I play when I'm back home in Alabama. And it's are they gay or are they just Southern men? Because Southern men dress super gay. Yes. Like, they wear the fine seam shorts with like a sugar suit and like all that stuff and pink and a lot

“of them, right? The voice sounds good. Yeah, they're like, this Southern voice sounds very gay.”

It's the owner man. Yes. It does. And they always, they're just like, out tonight. It's so

good to say you, you know, Tammy and I love to take you out to dinner sometime and I'm like, do you even tell me you sleep in the same bed? And every choir director I've ever known. It's like, out this gay. Like, the Todd Crissley, you know what, Todd, if you're watching this brother, I, at this point, I believe you weren't gay. Like, I believe he's not gay either. True. I do. I finally gave up. I was like, I really don't, I don't know. Or he did what your

conversion therapist said. He thought about it. But he didn't write the band. He ain't robbing

“that band. Yeah, I think he might be straight for real. But that's what I'm saying. Is he gay or is he just”

a Southern man? Exactly. All that accent is so gay. Dene, this was so much fun. I'm so glad that

we got to sit down and talk. You have an incredible tour. Tell everybody where they can find it.

You've got dates all the way through. Oh, my gosh, you've dates all through the end of May. You're going to Florida. You're going to Arkansas. You're going to North Carolina, Georgia, Texas, Colorado, Richmond, Virginia, where are we? We still have Washington, D.C., Nashville. No, Nashville. We already went to Washington, D.C., Richmond. Tell everybody where they can follow you. Yeah, so denehays.com, best ticket prices, and then I'm on TikTok, Instagram, the Facebooks,

at denehays. Thank you so much. This is great. Thank you, Heather. Thanks. But what I wanted to tell you, but I don't want to go to the studio. The master by Tag Lab Tobiche Soft, the internet. So master, I'm really excited. I'm so excited. You can say that you can go to the studio. You're a master, right? But you don't believe me. egal, it's just a challenge. Make the whole thing like this. And when you then work,

you'll have to pay for it. That's right. Save. Like this.