Stagecoach and the Hilarious John Crist

Heather McDonald. Has got the juices scooped. When you're on the road, when you're on the go, juice is scooped is a show to know. She tops Hollywood tales.

“Her real life is to save a serial data and serial”

system. You'll be addicted or addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast. Listen in, listen up. Heather McDonald.

juice system. Hello and welcome to Juicy scoop. I have such a great interview for you guys today with the hilarious John Christ. He is so funny and we also get into some heartfelt moment.

So I know you guys are going to love it.

And first we tell you, yeah, I went to stage coach.

I had such a blast. I wrote with my girlfriend, Stacey. We met the first day of USC. So we had just such a fun, girls weekend. And we went Friday.

And we went at the golden hour. I had worn my boot barn outfit to a party before. Took the photos that I needed. And then I switched out my shoes to tennis shoes. And it is a life changer for everyone.

“And I don't know how these girls did it, like multiple days.”

I knew from the previous years. So in one of the photos, I showed my tennis shoes because I told you guys, I was going to go to tennis shoes. But then we stumbled into a karaoke bar that I did not realize, S.Y. R.N. is, I guess,

has pronounced siren. But it is the name of Sidney Swenie's Laundrae, Brandon, and it was her pop-up, her thing. So I go, oh my God, it would be kind of great to do karaoke and get this on video.

And I said, I'm sure the line is long. It wasn't. This is Friday. There was only like two people out of me. So yes, I did my classic Bonnie rate, which,

for those of juicy scoopers that have been around forever, I even talked about it in my book.

You'll never live all in this town.

And get about what is the best karaoke song I've sing. So I sang it and it was pretty fun. And then all of comedians really want to be singers. I mean, the avant-gott brought up on stage. And then I was like, oh, I'm not going to be brought up

on the actual stage code stage. I'm going to go and do my karaoke. But what happened is right before I got to go on, I told my friend, this is what sorority sister is do. I said, we have to switch out the shoes,

give me your boots. So when I go up on stage and you film it, I have a full Western outfit on. And that's she took my ugly tennis shoes and I took her boots and it was all good.

And then we switched them up. And she said, even for that three minutes of me filming, I was like, well, Heather's sneakers are really a dream. So the next day, we went to a fun party like at the Tommy Bahamas hotel right there

in Palm Desert and had like barbecue, got this cute charm necklace. Look at the sets and hats, it all the things. And then we went to the rodeo, which was really fun. And then I was like, okay, now we need to work

the outfits around the tennis shoes again, which we did with jackets. And the wind was starting. And it was the first time I ever was smart about something.

“I was like, Stacy, I'm telling you, I think the wind”

is gonna get way worse and this just isn't fun. Let's go, let's get out before everybody else. We then start the track. She was wearing her tennis shoes too. Start the track.

And it was like, I've never experienced this kind of wind.

I thought I was on the moon if someone has ever gone there, which we still don't know if they have. But anyway, I was on the moon. I was tracking through, and we're like, oh my, and I said, I don't even know, like,

she would call the ubers, what, no, let's just, she said, remember there were calves. Let's get a cab overcharged, two cares. God home, jumped in the shower. And then they said, we're evacuating the place.

And then I was like, oh my god, my juicy skewer's are going to be really funny. So worried about me that they were going to think that I didn't make it out in time. And I almost did a video just to say, you guys, I'm okay.

And then I saw what was happening to you see. And I was like, maybe I don't need to talk about, how about right you guys? I didn't get to see the whole concert, but I am safe. So then I, then they said, come on back.

Well, I don't know if you were probably half the people didn't come up. But you know, you had to be safe. And then Sunday, I just didn't go. I watched a post alone from my comfy couch.

Anyway, it was really fun. It's a, it's a, it's a lot of walking, but it is a good time. So then over the week and also, there was a summer house audio leak, which sounded like somebody just had their phone there.

And we heard a little bit of Sierra giving it to Amanda about her being a cheating, hoey friend with West. And everybody was like, did West do it? Did he leak it so that he could just get fired

Like, what is it? And then today, it came out that Noah was somebody from production. No shit. Of course it's so in production.

I knew right away. I'm like, it's coming from inside the house. And everyone's acting all angry. Oh my God, if you're a bravo content creator and you repost this leaked audio that they found on Reddit,

hold you, they'll never work with you.

No, no, this is what they wanted, okay? It wasn't even that juicy. We're all gonna, the people that are interested are gonna watch the reunion no matter what.

“And like, I believe all those reality producers”

are all over Reddit, 'cause I think if anyone can write anything they want and then they'll write something about one of the people in the cast and then that person will be like,

I can't believe there's a rumor on the Reddit about so-and-so has been cheating. And then now they've got something to work with on the show. That's my opinion. I think there's a ton of reality producers

that are anonymous people on Reddit pages of their cast. Okay, that's my thing. All right, guys, I'm very excited for you guys who enjoy this interview now. Let's go with John Crest.

Hello and welcome to juicy scoop. I'm so excited to have a new guest on juicy scoop, a hilarious community. I'm sure you're familiar with them. And if you're not, you're gonna be in love,

'cause he is a hilarious delight. He's a southern boy. He's a God-fearing man. And he can make fun of it all. John Crest, welcome to juicy scoop.

You finally did it. I know I've been-- I've been six years. I've been DMing you. Nothing, nothing wrongshade.

“Just DMing you being like, "You're hilarious.”

"Come on my show. "I love your videos, your stand-up, your take on life." I couldn't get out here. But I come out here a couple times a year,

but we can never really make it work.

Yeah, and you have a bunch of shows this weekend out here, which is amazing. I would love the video that you did about how you got the nicknames of some of our cities here. Is Southern California.

Is that correct? I have not-- You haven't heard 'em. I haven't heard those exactly. I grew up in the valley.

And when I grew up in the valley, people were very snobby about the valley. Now they're not anymore because it's like everything's so expensive, but it used to be-- It's better than it used to be.

Yes. The valley's nice now. Yeah, like it used to be like, "Ooh, like when I went to USC, "Ooh, you live in the valley. "It's 10 degrees hotter there.

"Like, how can you handle life?" And I was like, "Well, I don't know. "I'm like, I'm doing pretty good. "I had a nice pool and two parents. "I'm like, went to Catholic school.

"I feel like I'm killing the world." But is it as nice as-- Well, let me see if you close my eyes and think, if somebody said they're from the valley, it's how we think they were.

I think they were rich. Oh, okay. I was like, "Now, but that's not, yeah."

That was, it wasn't always like that.

No, no. It was like the second-- because Hollywood and Beverly Hills started. And in the valley was where porn was. Oh.

But only fans, and you actually had to go and be filmed on the EHS tape and go and rent it at a blockbuster. They were like an office. You'd see porn stars at the coffee shop. You'd see-- they were kind of fake.

Like it was sort of like, oh. That'd be better worse to work at the office. I don't know a lot of them would get out of porn to become realtors. And then when the market dropped,

they went back to being. And porn and they said porn was easier. Then hold it in open house. Yeah. And sadly, as a former realtor, as a realtor,

you get fucked over harder as a realtor than when you're actually getting paid to Fox. Oh, yeah. No, the realtor, we're looking for a house now. And it is, she knows what she's doing.

But it's probably the same as Jerry Seinfeld said that with comedy. Like, if anybody on the street wants to-- they will introduce you with the same title that we have. Right, right, yes.

Tonight. Right. Like, if you're a doctor, you want to become-- have doctor in front of your name. It's going to take you 12 years.

True. If you want comedian, they will introduce you tonight as our next comedian. You've got to talk about that. You get to title day one.

That is so true. That's right. But that's real estate. Yeah. Is that everybody can just take that--

you're like, I'm a real estate and the people in Beverly Hills sell a billion dollars for the real estate and the guy and the valley.

“The only thing easier than becoming a comedian,”

comedian or a realtor is a podcaster. So everything I'm doing, everything I've done has been like literally anyone could do. No barrier to entry. No.

No. Hi. I did like what you said on last podcast about nobody cares about the plight of a comedian. Oh, thank you.

I'm glad you should agree with that. Yeah, I'm just accept that. Yeah, unfortunately, yeah. Nobody cares. Because to them, it's still an easier job than roofing.

You know, it's a shut up. And it is. It is. So it is.

Yeah, every comedian movie is just so sad. The comedian is struggling. Yes. His parents are estranged. His wife looked.

That's why I didn't like that movie. I didn't even see it, but the plot.

It was like, why does the comedian always have to be

like a bummer of a guy? Just yes. He's always so downtrodden and like everything else has gone terrible. Right.

And he's like, yes, comedy. And people would say, oh my god, you're comedian. And you're like, so happy and normal. I'm like, yeah, I actually had parents that said, you should become a comedian.

You're really funny. And they all saw me. You and Chris Delia. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, is that the-- Yeah, I think that-- Did he say, well, he came in. His dad was in the business. Yes, so when you're in the business.

So when you're in the business. And also when you live here, it's not like I grew up here. So it wasn't like this taboo thing to pursue the arts. It wasn't as horrible. Interesting.

There were as kids that you knew, like there were six-year-old kids that were like, a lot of palettes don't get picked up. Good luck, sugar. Yeah, yeah. You know, you need to do it.

“I think you need to-- you need to move the Nashville.”

You tell-- you go out on the street in Nashville and you see your comedian. You're a-- Then you're special. God. Because everybody else is a singer.

Because everybody's a comedian. Everybody's like doing a job like this. Yes. Because it's like, oh, I'm in the arts. You're like, okay.

Right. I work in-- you're like, oh, but go ahead and go into any other city and Americans say you're comedian and they're like, that's unbelievable. Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

And then also as a woman, it was always just like,

guys were really like overly shocked by it. You know, like, that I was. I couldn't. But I always kind of-- I always liked that. You know what?

I came up-- you know where I came up? Well, you probably don't-- No, I know you're all story. No, you know where I came up in comedy. You started doing chill, like, open night.

Oh, I did. Open my night shift. I would sign up. I came up with comedy works in Denver. Oh, that's the best.

I try to get on your shows and I never could. Because you know how they have all the comics there. I wouldn't-- That was good back then. I wasn't good.

You weren't good enough back then. No. But you were coming-- you would come through. And your shows would always be sold out. And I was like, I want to get on the head of the McDonald's.

We'd have to sign up every Tuesday. We'd have to run down there and put our names on for the-- Oh, my God, this is like the best story ever. One of the comedians that were coming through the weekend. I know.

I feel so special. I was like, you know, headshot. You had that one headshot for a long time. Not the red and the white. Let me think.

That kid-- you didn't get new headshots every-- I was still down because I just don't care. Like I just came up on 10 years. I was like, I don't want to rebrand. Because my parents had their same realist.

They were residential realists together. And they had their same photos for so long. And then my mom would be like, oh, it's like, you know, Coca-Cola or the Smith Brothers. Or whatever.

And I was like, well, as long as I still look like my photo that's on the podcast, I'm like, I'm good. I'll do another one and I'll work with it. You know what I mean, somebody's like on a-- their headshot and then they walk out.

You go. I went last show I did in Vegas. You look like your headshot. Was at the MGM grant. And part of my fun was we stayed another day

and we saw David Copperfield. And here in the second row, we all grabbed a gas. We were like robbing each other's hands. We were like, is this an impersonator really? Why is there a Coke can in his pants?

The dick was enormous. And it was great. It was like right there because I gave it to the front row. Yeah, I don't need to be. It was, it was, it was that about Chris Angel, too.

It doesn't look like a magician. It's like, you can make anything disappear except to a old face like Jesus.

“Well, somebody has to tell you, I think.”

We should do, we should do just a tour. We see everybody. We're in charge. Hey, you need new headshots. Yeah, because Brian Regan looks totally different.

Have you seen him lately? No. He's like all different. And you go this is the different. I may be, I do need to get, who wants to take.

I also like to get everything for free. Who would like to take my headshot for free? But we don't you think the, okay, so I got a buddy on a zimpic. No, I love it. I lost, okay.

I'm not on it, I'm not on it right now. But I've, I've dabbled. I've taken a shot here there. But we should, we should, I'm used to him being 250 per person.

Yeah. Him, 100 is different person. Is he less funny? Is he a funny person? I have to adjust who I'm looking at.

He would do him big. It's, and it's happened so fast. Is that make sense? Yes, it happened so fast that it's like shocking. And so, and for a funny comedian who was heavy,

that was their entire act.

“I always remember when I was starting to do stand up”

when I wasn't famous or anything. There was a big heavy comedian and he'd come on stage

because I always felt like I never had that good opening joke.

You know how someone would go, I look like so and so and so and so and so and so. I had a baby and you'd be like, oh, yeah, they did. And it could work for our right.

But he'd come out and he was heavy and he'd go,

“and he would take the mic stand and he'd go,”

let me move this so you can see me better. And the whole place last and I was like, that's what you're doing. I wish I was back. But now if he got skinny, he wouldn't be able to say

that joke anymore. Nate Bargazzi is a national comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He said, it's a story about he was coming up in New York City and then the comic had a ponytail.

Yeah. His whole act was about his ponytail. About how he girls would and how he had interacts and he couldn't get it, he was a ponytail. And then one day he cuts it.

He goes, I don't need this, it's not part of my act. I don't need this ponytail. And so he goes out, Nate tells us to be a better than me. That is 30 seconds, 45 seconds, it's bombing. And he goes, so he's definitely a ponytail.

And then he went back into his old act.

(laughing) That is so good. There should be a, you should, people doing jokes about being overweight. And sometimes they're not overweight enough

to be doing fat. Right. You know?

“Yeah, you have to keep it authentic to your life.”

And some bits, you know, can go for a while and then other times you have to be like, maybe don't tell the birth story when your kid is 28. You know what I mean?

Maybe maybe tell a different perspective. I think the comics do think a comic would not go on a zipic to keep his act. I think some people are struggle with it, really? 'Cause there was a guy on SNL, not SNL,

a mad TV that was really funny. Preo's on pick days, like 20, 50 years. And he did lose weight.

And I mean, he's probably still doing fine

so don't want me rude. But I don't think he, you know, I think it did affect his like getting jobs and stuff. Yeah. Because you made you special.

Now, it just looked like everybody, yeah, now you look like everybody else. It's good for your health. But, and I'm sure it's like fun, you know, to zip up your pants, but at the same time.

But you know, it's, you know, it's just fun and a standing ovation. Exactly. That's great. And having all those fun jokes about,

you know, not being able to fit in the teacup. You know what I mean? That's a whole, oh, yeah. Oh, I got to have a person in the back. Can go to Disneyland or Lando's even better

'cause it's humid and do a solid 45. That is relatable. Everybody do a, if I do, go to Orlando, what am I gonna say? It's not, I can't.

Not interested. And not it's good. Not it's good. Not it's good. Don't you think all the other, all the other comics,

like, this podcast has become a behemoth, is look at all the, all the other, or I don't know how to ask this question appropriately. Feel like a lot of your peers are getting crushed out there. With, with, with.

The now comics, with, from that like 10 years at, like the era, when we were like, there are none of them are doing anything. Oh, for, for, okay.

“Yeah, it is a little hard because I think”

that makes sense. Is that make sense? Yeah, because I think sometimes people didn't like jump on the social media training. And because I did, and I joined,

I got started podcast over 10 years ago. I was from, I was like, on Twitter and Instagram, when I was doing Chelsea lately. So it's like, I was doing all that kind of as a little bit of an older person, but I was like,

all in, in doing it, I, I saw this one thing though. They said, if you could suddenly become 21 again today, like on TikTok, what would you do? And I wrote, I would start my career even earlier.

I would, I'm like, I like, when people say, what's your, what would you do if you, I'm like, when I was with the Wayne's brothers working on some movie, some of the nephews were like, you haven't heard of YouTube?

I wish I would have gone home that day and just created a YouTube channel. I wish I would have doing the podcast in the YouTube, while I was doing Chelsea lately. I don't know that they would have let me, probably not,

but because they know what it was. Well, they would get mad if we would do like a funny Twitter joke at our home, like the night before, and then we would go, 'cause they'd be like, and I kind of got it, they're like, this was a topic,

and now you've like put it out there. So you got to kind of like, the Chelsea area, you got to kind of keep that a little bit, 'cause you're working on the show, which is great, 'cause now we're gonna be just as our own thing.

Who came out of there, you and Josh? Josh, I mean, as far as writers, Josh and I and Chris, we were all writers on the show, and then, but, unfortunately, and then, but also like people that were just regulars on at all the time,

we're Joe Coi, Natasha Lajero. They were not writers, but they were regulars. So that was wild, that made so many careers. - It did because the way we structured the show, like I was there from day one,

the way we structured the show, gave the audience much more of a personal insight into the regulars, because it wasn't just doing jokes,

where you're just like doing, when we would come up with how to talk about it, and then we'd say, to the other writers, like, I would start to say, "Well, with my kid, with Britney Spears, I'm like, "I have two boys and done it."

And then people would know, "Oh, Heather's the mom. "Joe Coi has one son." - Oh, yeah. - And like all of a sudden, they're a person. - Yeah.

- And then we promoted the day two, like your dates, but then also, yeah, people got to know you better, so that when you come on stage, they knew that you were the southern son of a baptist. - You've got a half-brass thing.

- Yeah, like you kind of got your right. So then you weren't just telling, you know, pop culture jokes. - Yeah.

- So I always thought that was really important to do.

I always told the people, like, if you can work in background about your life, while you're telling the jokes on pop culture, that's gonna give you a further... - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, you know what's taking the place of,

“you know what's taking the place of, what's his name?”

The show's getting canceled, the CBS, co-bearer. - Co-bearer, no, what's taking place of it? - You know the answer to this. - I don't. - Comics unleashed.

- Oh, oh, yes. - It's taking that time slot. - Oh, cool. - Have you been on that? - I have, and they asked me to...

- That guy's like the richest guy in Hollywood. - I know they asked me to do it. And just, and the timing just didn't work out. - Yeah, they, yeah, exactly. - But maybe I'll know it now, I don't know, you know, you know.

But I did it back in the day, and it was good. Those were good clips to have when you didn't have clips, when you were like putting together a tape tape. - Yeah. - I know all anyone that's talking about is

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So you're one of eight, you're number three, yeah. - And your dad actually was a pastor. Is he still a pastor? - Hey, well, you'd probably didn't get this deep in the research, but he knows.

- Okay, sorry, wow, he's saying he is now the mayor of our city, little burned Georgia where we grew up. - Happening, good for head. - Yeah, it is he switched over. He's trying to control people by fixing their hearts.

- Okay. - Now it's with the rules. - Okay. - He actually said this to me. He goes near a comedian, he was a pastor and he's the mayor. He goes, we wake up and we look at the world. We don't like it.

We don't like the way it's headed. We don't like it. And we try to, he's at a first try to change it by changing people's hearts in religion. Then I try to change it by legislation.

And he goes, as his son, he goes, you're kind of doing the same thing. You're just trying to change it with ideas. - Oh, that's beautiful. - You know? - I love that. - Since you're sincere for this podcast.

- No, I know, I love it. I love the sense of family and, you know, so your parents are still together. - They're still together, yeah. - And one of the things I loved is so I'm the youngest of five.

- From the Valley. - From the Valley. - And so my, we're Catholic and my parents are very, like, they would, they could have been communians.

“Honestly, they could have been communians,”

but they were in advertising and then real estate. And so they would just tell me out now that like, my sister and I were mistakes. My dad was like, say your mom couldn't read a calendar. And then every time I came home from a business trip

and she had made a stake in a martini, I was like, oh fuck, you're pregnant again. And I was just like, and then they were like, but you were such great surprise. And so then I was like, oh, okay.

And so as the youngest of five, I was this bit, which I'll let you tell because it was so funny.

But I remember I never got in trouble.

And then one day my dad was like, knock it off or something. And my older brother started to do like an 80s slow clap, like, final way for me. - Final way. - Final way.

- Because they had a completely different doubt. - Yeah. - Yeah. And even though there was only 10 years between us, it was just like, but the time I came, I was, they would throw me in the station wagon

when we would go watch Rosemary's baby, jaws, I was like four, they didn't care. - No, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no. - I like, that's, I'd come to school and I'd be like,

“did you see that made for TV movie about the mistress?”

And these kids were like, who's letting you watch this? And I'm just like, I don't know, like nobody's watching me. - I think the parents wrote that thing of everybody in the comments of this bit is they're like older siblings get disciplined less

than the younger. Is everybody just said this? - They get disciplined less than the younger. - Right. - But the parents are tired. - That's what everybody said.

- Everybody goes, they're just like the first one. You know how like, especially in LA, it's probably, we're gonna, new mattresses, we gotta make sure the sheets are different 'cause the toxins and the sheets, 'cause you heard about the, and the bottle feeding

versus the, we're gonna do like, everybody in the south is big on like cloth diapers now.

- Oh, good night, we're never.

- That sounds like, I don't know, like, we're doing it. And every parent, you got, oh, you got that stroller. What did you know that if you were, you got, I got to get a new stroller. And but then by the, especially by kid number eight

or five after three. - Now, did you have one of those families not to compare you to the Dougard? It's okay, but did you have one of those families where you were not doing good?

- They're not doing good. - No, they're, (laughs) - Love 'em, but I know, I know a couple of love there. Yeah, yeah, that's a good.

“- But were you like assigned to like raise a little one?”

- Mm-hmm. - Which one would you want to say? - Yes, I have so, M-M-A, is my youngest, second to youngest sister. - It was serious.

- That's the one I'm the closest with. - Okay. - That we were like, I remember my brother Elias. I was in, I was probably 12 and somebody came over and they were like, you shouldn't be babysitting.

I'm like, well, I am. So, I don't know what he wanna be saying. I'm in charge, they're like, you're in charge.

- I think the older ones were gone. - Okay. Oh, John's there. - Yeah. - But I knew, I don't know, I knew about the house

and they were like, there was just no, it's not like it is now. - I was babysitting at 12. I people under me, I was like the temp of the neighborhood. I was like, I can't work tonight, but I got a girl. - But I got a girl, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like I was so, it was 12. - Yeah, and nobody, now like,

“if you have to babysitter now, the background chat.”

- Oh my god, yeah, all of it. - Is it different time? - Absolutely. - It a better time, I'd say. - And so when you, in this bit, this stand-up bit,

you say you go home, it's now your younger sister. - Mm. - And I love it, so you just, can you tell the story? - Yeah, I mean, I remember, I remember she gets like,

we couldn't, first of all, I come home,

'cause I little weren't Georgia, I had a show in Atlanta, so I just stayed in my parents house. I come home, my sister is in the basement, watching a movie with her boyfriend with the door locked. I'm just like, what is going on here?

And she's like, my parents are like, John, leave her alone, I can leave her alone. We had to watch TV in the kitchen on a separate couch, if I was girl over separate couches. - Oh my god.

- And blankets, no shot. They're my parents would turn up the air conditioning. So we couldn't, and we were freezing, but there are no blankets, 'cause they don't wanna, you know, kid, a teenager's gonna be.

- You know what, you're gonna be. - No, no blanket, no shot. And the Christian movies, no cussing.

“There's actually a technology that's actually been sued,”

but it would go through movies and take out all the sex scenes. - We had, I had a friend. - Some, some. - That'd be like, can, let's go to the movie, 'cause like, again, my parents are working,

I would be like, let's take the RTD, which was the bus down to the movie theaters. - Like, nine, I'm not kidding. - I believe you, I believe you. - I'm nine, and then I'd be like,

let's go see, like, Greece or whatever, and it was like, no, that's to dirty or, you know, like, or, you know, the, the tightings or the Catholic, whatever, there was like a Catholic review of movies of what could be okay and what not could be.

- We are the same. - And we did not, and my family didn't fall that at all. - Oh, they didn't. - No.

- And we didn't do confession after the first confession,

or we do it through school, and then I'd be like, "Mom, why aren't you going to confession?" And she'd be like, "Oh, I just think "when you're perfect, why waste the priest time?" There's just, they've got so many people to see.

And I was just like, yeah, I don't know, that would like, we'd go to Mass every Sunday, go to Mass every Sunday, we'd say grace. We would talk to the Catholic talk, but like, there were like, then my doubt would be like,

what are we, the cafeteria Catholics, which mean you, like, hand-picked? Like, maybe you go on birth control, you're still going to Mass, you know? - I'm doing this part, but not that for cafeteria Catholics,

what that's going on. - Yeah, so you know, picking just a few things, - Or not doing that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, like it's, yeah. - Okay, but they can, y'all drink. - Yeah, we can't drink.

- Yeah, we can't drink, and I don't know. - I don't know. - And it's just not, or like a Baptist, no. - And the Catholics are always, - Do you drink now?

- Well, I'm sober now, I went to rehab

“and like, that's 19, but when did you start drinking?”

- It's 30, it was like a popular, I didn't know what to quite do. - Oh, yeah, so what was that like? - I'm using. - So you really popped when, like, about 10 years ago? - Yeah, I was no name,

comedian, struggling. You wouldn't put me on your shows and then I popped. And then Heather's like, oh, what's up? Come on, I should go. - No, I don't think I'm just joking.

- First of all, I never picked it.

I would always say, can I have an opener and a, and even back then, I wouldn't look at the people's stuff now. - It's all Wendy. - Now, I do look, now I say, I need somebody. Can I have like four people?

And now it's so easy. They'll send me their Instagram and then I'll be like, okay, this is my first, is my second, third and fourth choice, or it's nice. - It's just because, but in the past, I didn't do that

and I would get some doosies. - Oh, yeah. - And that would like, I'm gonna read this one guy, before show in Aspen. And he's his whole act, it's like,

how he doesn't like screwing women over 40. I'm like, who do you think's in my audience? - Yeah, yeah, what do you think? - And it was just like, and he's like, I'm, you know, doing charity work and I was like,

I'm waiting on the wheels going. I can't believe Heather, you didn't check out this. So after that, I checked out everybody that I tried to find a good match. - He's not working anymore.

- He's not working anymore. - He's not working anymore. - He's not working anymore. - He's not working anymore. - Yeah, yeah.

- And then as he's introducing me, which he's just been at me 10 minutes before he went on take. He's like, this is a really good friend of mine. We've been friends for a long time and I'm like, oh my god, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just dig the hole on stage right now. - Yeah. - Oh, okay, so you said you and you, so when was kind of a moment where you felt like like kind of popped and you're like,

I can't believe this is everything I dreamed of. - Yeah. - And like when was that? - What was that moment? - 2016, right? - Okay.

it's called Christian Girl Instagram,

“we're like, Christian, like even Jellicle Christian”

that would take a photo. It was back in the early Instagram, right? - Yeah, yeah. - About they had their Bible open a verse highlighted, maybe a couple of coffee and a couple of fruit there

and it was so or nightly organized that I go, you probably read the Bible for the same thing with cat. You probably read the Bible for two minutes. - Yeah. - It took you 30 to organize this photo.

- Whereas it before reals, it's the grand photo, there's not even carousels, it's just one photo. - Yeah. - And then the caption would be like mornings with the Lord or something.

I thought that was so silly that I made a video making fun of, like satirizing and like, hey, if you're gonna do this, make sure you do this, make sure you highlight these verses, make sure you put these books in the background, make it look,

use these filters, make it look good, take it more likes and everybody would kind of just, - Like what? - In like one barrel. - Yeah.

And were you doing a lot of like Christian church-based funny, you know, relatable jokes in your act from the beginning or did you kind of follow it? Oh, you always did. - Oh, so the figure, yeah, but I would like,

but do you know, do you know do you know any like comedians that do churches? - I mean, I've followed some, I do think it's really great when you can tap into that world and also be clean.

I tell younger comedians too, like, listen, I am kind of dirty, but I didn't start out that way. I like, you know, start out clean because you'll work so much more if you can. - You work eat quicker.

- I've been doing churches anymore. - I've been doing churches, but just being a little bit of a cleaner act, and it's also made really good. - Maybe you can make 500 bucks to go to your country club and party for at the beginning,

at the beginning. - Yeah, yeah.

- But I was kind of, I always stayed in the club

'cause I came up in Denver. So I was always staying in the club because I felt like the club comics were better. - Yeah. - Actually way better.

- They were sharper and they were like, and I was like, well, I gotta stay here. If I go over that route, it's over for me. - Even though you're getting the offer since stuff. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I knew that was kind of like,

like you could get a pigeon hold. - Yeah, so I stayed in the club the whole time. I stayed in the club the whole time. And now I just do, I don't do any churches anymore. - Yeah.

- I'm still on the team. - You mean, you should believe. - Yeah, yeah, I'm still on the team, but. - Do you go to church now? - I go to church, yeah, yeah.

- What kind of church do you go to? - Not Catholic, I'll tell you that. We have some strong opinions about you all. I'm just joking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Catholics are hot these days. - I've been watching that. - Yeah, yeah. - I've been watching it like the young,

“especially younger people going and I think it's all great.”

I just think anything that gets young people out of the house, whatever it is, providing it's not a dangerous culture terrorism. I'm like, good, go, go. - Well, I mean, even a general, like mega church is,

a lot of people say, as I failed experiment. - Oh, really? - But it's just too, it's too. - Do you think there was just one too many docs exposing that it's not, I thought I had documentaries.

I think it's not stocks in the last eight years has turned to against a lot of religions. Like honestly, it makes you kind of go, God, could I be a preacher? Like, could I start my own church?

Like, who is this person? Why, why, why should I be like going to them and listen to them every Sunday? Like, I don't know, you know? - Yeah, well, the cult is based,

literally the only way it survives is based on limited information. So in the '80s, '90s, you could move out to Salt Lake have a kind of a commune camp. They had their own textbooks,

they didn't have cell phones, so they stayed there. So you could tell them whatever you want it. - Right. - Now, people go, no, we're not, the whole thing kind of falls apart.

The whole idea of a cult does kind of fall apart. It's like kids in, like, foreign countries. Now they see what we're all doing. - Right. - You can't really control if people have information.

- So true. - So I don't think the whole idea of a cult unless you're cutting off the information. - Yeah. - It wouldn't, it wouldn't, it wouldn't.

It wouldn't, it wouldn't work. - And I also feel that like, I mean, okay, so so with the mega churches, okay? Like, I was like, wow, like you can drink a coffee, like you could have a star, like drink a coffee during mass.

And like in, in my Catholic Church is always a wood bench. - Yeah, drinking anything in there. There's no cup holder. - And wood, like uncomfortable share.

And so then I like, you know, someone would have something or I'd go, and I'm like, oh my god, I'm in like, oh, please see, no, I go to like a Christian church. Someone invite me.

- Well, don't say that, 'cause Catholics are Christian. - Right.

I always say, I always say Christian service.

Like, I would say, when I started Jesus Christ, I was like, spread the word of Jesus Christ. Do your Christian service out? - Amen. - When you go to Catholic Church,

“you have to do a certain amount of Christian out.”

Christian service out, yeah. And so that's just like, so every time I would ever do something

I'd be like, yeah, they're just compartmentalized. Those are Christian service out. - So you go to that shitty party. - You gotta do that thing. - Yeah, go do that thing and be like, be nice.

And so I just gotta like, keep a balance. But I remember going, wow, like this church. Really comfortable. It's really nice to have a cup of coffee. The music is better.

This guy's pretty cute. I like his tight jeans. This is like, kind of fun. - It's not like more commercial. - Yeah.

But then I would have the Catholic guilt of like,

“no Heather, you need to go to the boring mass”

where the guy's accent is so strong. You don't understand what he's saying. The acoustics are horrible. - Can't hear. - And here, you don't know what's going on.

You need to feel guilty because you didn't listen. - Yeah, but at least you got in there so that when you have that audition on Thursday, God will bless you. - 'Cause you were there.

- 'Cause I was there. - Yeah, you gotta leave Catholic church. You leave with a guilt. - You leave with that. - Yeah, not in the mega church.

You leave feeling great. They give you a cookie, you're... You feel good when you leave. But I think I went to Catholic church

like a month ago 'cause I didn't never been.

- Who took you? 'Cause I got a map for that. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, I have that photo. - The tiny Catholic church for the first time. I could tell you about that, what you're expecting.

- Well, he's like a, like a, he has a big podcast. He's like a famous Catholic. I didn't even know there was. - Did he get to go to the Pope when... - He's doing a pod with him, I think.

- With the Pope? - Yeah. - But did he get to go with Jim Gathigan to the Pope when they took off? - No, he's not a comedian. - Yeah, I know it, I was.

When I saw the people they invited, I was like, hello. - I didn't like that. - I'm like, hello. Like I did 12 years of Catholic school paid for Catholic school for my kids.

- But Jim was there 'cause he's Catholic. - Oh, yeah, but I mean, he deserves to be there. But some of the other ones that were there, were not even Catholic. And I was like, again.

- Just like the country club. - Just like, I just, yeah, they're all looking Heather. - They're overlooking me. - Yeah, I had the guilt since day one. Where, yeah, I've been there.

- I've been promoting like some Jews in there. I know you guys are against each other. - Exactly.

I was like, we're never against each other.

No, Catholic Jewish dialogue was like a class I took because it was so similar and there was such a thing. But I was in writers, I was in writers rooms, I'd done podcasts where like my face was challenged. Like somebody was like, how do you believe?

What is wrong with you? And then I would say why. And then they would, then the podcast host would get so much hate for how he treated me that then I'd be like, "Hey, can I be on your show again?"

And he's like, hell no. - It's too much. - It was too much. - I mean, nothing wrong. You were the one that was mean to me. - You ordered me.

- Yeah, and then people, but so tell me about what you thought when you went. - Well, I, a Catholic church, first of all, the first thing I said was, there's no lobby. - If you listen, if you go in and you're in.

- Yeah, you're in. - Open the door from inside the lock, yeah. - And you're in. - I can tell that I can smell it right now. - Yes, you can go in.

- There's a little lot of great team, welcome center. - Kind of like a, you know, like the moms gossiping in the front lobby, not Catholic, they'd spent, they wasted no money, they go work every. And also, you know what, Catholics don't send the kids

to a different, they're in.

“- No, you go through the whole, you have to sit”

and hear the crying and you have to be pinched and you have to glue my mind. - No, it's-- - We have, the kids go off to their own seconds. - And they're all in seconds.

- Yeah, yeah, with that coloring books, they learn about Joan and the whale and stuff like that. - Yeah, not Catholics, but I think what has happened is why Catholicism is hot, is because it went so far the other way, then it's like, all right, let's,

like, when you have a, like, you had to have taught him something. - Yeah, yeah. - So you go, well, they don't cost. - Right, why?

- Or don't. - And I also discuss, like, - Or don't, you know, when you're little. - Yes, yes. - Or when other people don't cost it, I have an infant.

- Yes, yes. - Well, why? - Yeah. - Or don't steal. - Why? - It has to-- - Come from something.

- You have to get every parent has to give something. - Yes. - Some semblance of why the world is, why I would be-- - I didn't really realize, like, how lucky I was to be raised

with something until, like, I got to college and my friend goes, and we're all just talking about, there were certain girls in my sorority that had gone to other all Catholicized schools. And my one friend goes, have you ever noticed

that anyone you meet that went to an all-girl Catholicized school, nobody regrets it? Nobody says I wish I didn't go. And I thought, wow, that's interesting. And then that's one friend of mine, later on goes,

I wish I knew the stories, really? - She goes, I don't know the stories you're talking about because she wasn't raised as anything. And then I was like, oh, wow, I ain't better than people. Like, no, just get out of it.

But I just thought, you know, I never thought it made sense

when someone said it. We're not gonna raise our kid as anything because they should make their own choice. Well, they're not gonna seek it out.

“You could teach it to them and then you should be understanding”

if it's not their thing or they take a break.

And that's all I cared about. 'Cause I was like, you know, I'm not...

- Well, it's the second part of that, do on to others.

You just said the beginning, yeah. - As you have to do it, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I think everybody, I think in I would say that when it becomes like people have religious trauma or something is because they weren't allowed to ask questions.

- Yes. - Well, hey, we're gonna go to Catholic Church Y. Well, we believe that a God created the universe. We do believe that not lying, not murder. We don't believe in that.

These are the general worldview of what we believe in life. - Yes. - And where people go astray is that you have to go. Don't ask questions. - Yeah.

- This is what we're doing. And you go, why are they wearing those outfits? And then, why do we have to do the concept?

No one ever explained it, right?

“- Right. - That's how people get off track, I think.”

- Totally. - And now they're, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And when, you know, an entering hall becoming a bigger star and doing the Hollywood stuff. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Now you, you know, had this success because you were one of the few commercial comedians that also could talk with knowledge about this very relatable thing of being raised in the church.

- Yeah. - What did you ever did it ever get weird in that Hollywood is? I mean, I was in writer's rooms where they would say, how could you send your kids to a Catholic school?

Are they getting molested today? - Yeah, yeah. - And you know, with me. And recently I talked to a writer that used to be on Chelsea with me and I was like, oh, how are your kids?

And he told me, now he married a girl who was raised Catholic. And I go, oh, where's your son going to go to school?

“And he goes, oh, we're hoping to send to Loyola,”

which is a really great school here in its all-boys. And I go, oh, really. And you don't feel bad that you like tormenting me for eight years. - Well, well, yeah, and he paused.

And he was like, no, I'm kind of laughed. And I was like, that's how I need. - That's all you need. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was actually hard to be a believer in Hollywood

and especially with comedy, which is so, there's so many comedians that are just cynical about it and they just don't understand how you can have faith, or something, or something, or something. - I remember this, I was like,

I'm not going to tell every your name, I'm not going to tell a name because you probably know them. - Okay. - But I was kind of like me too, by like a male comedian. - Can you say you hit on him?

- No, he, me too, me. - Oh, okay, okay. - Does that make sense? - Oh, saying that you were, he was very famous. - Okay.

- And I was young comic, and he, and I go, in essence, kind of like, I want to be successful. I want to be famous, I want to be popular, I want to be, but not at the extent of my, so he was hitting on you.

- Yes, well, basically hit on you, try to rule.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I know where I should, you mean, you know, like, who me,

“it's like that. - Okay, and you know what I'm saying?”

- I'm laying it out as like you've got it, you want your, first you didn't, and then you're like, oh, shit. - Yeah. - I like, you know, paying for things and coming to my route, and I was a young comic, and I was so hungry.

- And a door up a long-ture. - Well, thank you. - It's so good, okay. - But I can imagine, but just, but, but you go, well, I'm not doing that, what you're like, why?

Don't you want to be a comedian, but I go, yeah, but my parent, they, I was raised with something, you know what I'm saying? - Yeah. - I can do, I go, I'm not doing that. - But when there was type of things, - That makes sense, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I remember thinking, but I, my parents live in one of the hills, I, I'm not gonna be homeless if I don't do this thing. I can go to their house, they are gonna still support me.

They're gonna, you know, I can work in real estate. I'm not, I didn't come off a bus with no one in Hollywood, I actually have a whole support system. - Yeah, it takes me a little bit. - Yeah, I was just, just like a parents that were cared.

- Yeah, and then you know, and I, yeah. - And I'm not embarrassed to go home, I'm not embarrassed to say, it's taken me this many years, and I still haven't made a dollar. Like I wasn't, because I was just, no, I know that I get being entertaining and even enough,

I'm not on a sitcom and even if I'm not being like, I'm good at what I do, just have to do anything like, like in auditions, like, sexually that you said you wouldn't do or no. - No, but I did have this, this one, I met this guy at a party, and he was an agent at a major agency.

And he got my number, and I've coarsated an agent, you know, when I had this, I had this VHS tape, and I, with like all my little bits, and I did this one woman show,

instead of anything.

“And so he's like, yeah, come over and I bring the tape now.”

- Where to come or where? - To the agent.

To the, like, to the Hollywood, like, I go up, you know, the secretary brings me in. I'm sitting there and I'm like, you know, so, like, you know, I need an agent and like, here's my, here's all my funny characters and everything. - Yeah.

- And he's like, come sit over here, it was a couch, and he wasn't an old guy, so it wasn't like completely creeped. But then he, you know, he's like, making moves on me and stuff, and crazy. - And I was just like, okay, then I leave.

But I still think, if you, yeah, yeah, I know. - That'd be, and then, and then he, like, calls me one night, like, for like a booty call, and I'm like, can I just get, because I course dropped him off six tapes because I'm thinking, he's got to give it to everybody.

- He wants me to come back to give him a new tape. - Yeah. - And then at least a Cudero, like, you know, like, give me on a sick up.

And so, then I'm like, I really do those tapes back,

because each tape costs like $10,000, you know? - And I come back to the office, I give you the tapes back. (laughing) - You know, you try. - So, when you told the guy, like, no.

- Yeah.

“- Was it, did he then just drop you, like, a potato”

and was sort of embarrassed of the rejection? - No. - Or, no, I just said, and I just said, I'm just not, I'm not gonna come to your room, 'cause we would tour.

- Yeah. - I got on the way, the he would bring me on tour. - So, you're the opener, or feature, yeah. - But, like, look at that. - Which is a huge opportunity to open, to open.

I opened for Chelsea, and that was very, very good for me. It also made sense since I was on the show as well, but that is huge for the stage time to get in front of all those people. - And before, and looking back now,

you're like, I was not skilled enough. - Right. - So, I shouldn't have been, and that you look back on it. Now you go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - But, I thought this was on merit.

- They're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. - That's how when we could turn. - Yeah. (laughing) - You look vulnerable.

People are very, very brilliant and talented would do anything for you, and they also have the darkest demons. So, all the people on the podium, what do we make of them, and what to put them here or here?

Do we like this guy now, or now this guy's out, or Taylor, Frankie, Paul, or whoever we're talking about, you're like, no, x, and you're like, well, that, if I, you know, the people can be both. - Yeah. - It's tricky, is this guy helped my career

and would literally do anything for me, but also had like the darkest. It sincerely would do anything for me. - Right. I think it's different, like, with the Taylor Frankie Paul.

- I don't know, I brought her up. - No, no, but I'm just saying, I think it's kind of different when it's like a reality star, because you are entertaining to watch, but you are not an entertainer. You are not, you're not writing music,

you're not singing, you're not, you know, you're not a comedian, you're not a writer.

“- You're just a, you have to stay there.”

- But I still also think that she can absolutely come back, 'cause I think people forgive. I think their lesson came back. - Yeah, I think they're less forgiving of women, and I think women are harsh or unwomen,

but I think, and then I think, you know, but I think for, I think even more and more the cancellation is shorter periods of time. It's shorter and shorter and shorter, but. - Yeah, it goes less and less, yeah, it could,

- Yeah. - When the other girl, the other girl in the, is doing great on Broadway. - Yeah, yeah, she got on the show, and was like, a dancer to begin her.

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Experience the new standard in comfort and support with honeylove. I love this one when you talk to the audience about you baptized or you Catholic. The baptism thing is so interesting, too,

because one thing I was gonna say about Christians is that I like-- I can't wait for this generation. I like to get invited to parties. I like to feel wanted.

And I liked how in college and everything, I must have been someone that they felt that they could get turned. They could get to the Christians or anything. Because I did like talking about Jesus.

It was a dangerous idea. But then, and then they'd be like, are you saved?

And I was like, yes, I've always believed.

So how am I not? And then I was like, oh, you know, like one time this cute guy was an essay, kept inviting me to go to this thing and I just thought, oh, he's so cute and he likes me.

And then I realized, oh, he was the Bible study. You know, it was the Bible study. Oh, she's gonna want to come to the Bible study. And so the baptism thing, we all get baptized when you're young.

Yeah. And then-- And infant baptism. Yeah. So that guy, you were that guy's service hours.

Yes. You were like, wait, I'm the service hours. He's like, and there's the service hours. I'm going to-- I'm going to dinner with Heather for the service hours.

My son said when he was at ASU, these guys called and was like, hey, do you want to play whatever flag football or something? There was on a state? Yeah.

And so then he was like, yeah, like he was excited that people were like-- It's the bait and sweat. Yeah. And then eventually it was like, hey, we're all

going to go to the Bible study after one of you come. And he was like, no, he was like, I went through Catholic school. Like, I don't need to now go to a Bible study while I'm in college. Oh, so now that--

Oh, I thought we were buds. Yeah, he would tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just-- it's just up there with like joining an MLM, like the lady being like, hey, girl.

Or like, I bring me the tapes. Yeah. Like, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I said, I've always said this about this whole like everything

in the podcast, everything in this podcast. It comes down to gold, glory, or girls. The three motivations for any kind of anything. Oh, interesting. It's gold, glory, or girls, meaning money, women, or power.

Yeah. Like, you know, every you break down everything and you go, it's one of those three. Interesting. It will always be one of those three at the end of the day.

For man, I guess, because I'm not doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess I-- yeah. But it's always why are they at the very end. Oh, where they want to be tagged on Instagram so they can-- oh, so to--

Right. It's always one of those three, which has been around since a dawn of time. Yeah, definitely. And it's even in this business when you know, I've been on the receiving end of thinking

that this person was my friend that I brought on the road and helped and did all things with and tagged them a million times. Yeah. And then they were becoming resentful behind my back.

It wasn't enough. It wasn't enough. Crazy. And I was like, oh, my god, why wouldn't you just tell me

“it wasn't enough or why did you have to do this”

deceptive mean thing that like buck me up? Because I'm very fortunate that I've been married for 25 years.

And we've never had a cheating on each other.

But when it happened with friends, it's really-- you're like, oh, my god, the two of you were going around the court like, what? It against me. Yeah, but I don't know just like this.

This is what it must feel like when someone has the hairs in the back of the neck and they're suspicious of their man or their girlfriend.

Oh, my god, I was in, I was in rehab in 2019 for alcohol. And it was all men in there. And they said, everybody's at different stages of their marriage. And he said, the women-- you're in there for four weeks and then your wife's going to come.

And you have like kind of like a heart to heart. And he said, you know, all the women were so relieved. Because they're like, OK, thank god, I thought it was going crazy. Like, they would tell stories like, I can't come home in the guest room and I find a condom in the guest room.

And he was like, the husband is like, the landscape or must have come in and you're like, OK, you don't--

you go, OK, and then you finally realize this guy

is cheating or isn't it? And then you go, thank god. Yeah. Because I thought I was going insane. Right.

And you're finally, like, when you finally learn, it's going to be a disaster to kind of work through it, because they're like, shoot. At least I'm glad I'm sliding, I'm just like, yeah. Like, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's very helpful, they said. It was all very helpful. So in your church, do people get baptized

“like where they were, the outfits and going to pool and stuff?”

That's wild way to ask that question. Yeah. Well, they just worry regular clothes. Oh. You're just, hopefully, dark, though.

They don't wear something white. But we got baptisms in our church coming up. So I was like, what? No, I said. I thought they weren't supposed to wear white, flowy.

Oh, that's in like a different denomination where they put on a robe. And then they fool the immersion into the water. OK. We don't, yeah.

We do, like, very, like you do it in a horse trough at a barn or in a river, or somebody's-- But I mean, essentially, people could be baptized like 10 times. Yeah, it's not very, yeah.

You could be baptized in a million different times in church,

or say, I need to be baptized, right? Dism is only one. That's it. You get your one. You got it.

Yeah. And you're good to go. It's like a punch card of all the, you know, like that. Well, I'm just saying, you just get it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to be baptized. Yeah. You have to be baptized. And then confirmation is kind of like--

That's like getting saved. No. So it goes, it goes baptism, then confession. Then confirmation, which is sort of, you can decide it. Like, it just, basically, says saying, I confirm now

that I'm a young teenager that I want. You're old enough. Yeah, then it's like marriage. That's the most non-consensual. Yeah, then it's like, yeah.

And then vow, like, if you're going to become like a priest or none or whatever. And then that's the thing. So then last rights. Oh, my, my, is that's when you die?

Right. And that's only if you have the option to like call the priest. My friend is getting married to a Catholic guy and she converted. OK.

At like 25. Cool. How does that work? She got to go through a class or something. Yeah, she goes through a class or something.

“If I wanted to become Catholic today, what would I do?”

Then you go through a class. It probably, like, Tuesday, Wednesday, nights or whatever. Like, how long are we? I think they can do it. I mean, who knows now if there's like an online element.

But like, definitely the church is on mine degree. Yeah. And I think it's really beautiful. Like an adult decides to do that. Like, I think it's so cool.

My husband had some familiarity with Catholicism because he had like a grandmother who was, yeah. But he wasn't raised in eating go to school. And then not until we were getting married. Yeah, but once you were getting married,

when they said they are father, I couldn't believe he knew it. I was like, how do you know this? Like, how do you, I mean, just like came back to him from like the grandma. But no, just one of you has to be Catholic.

And the other one has to say, if we have kids, we will raise them Catholic. So you don't have to convert if you don't want to. You just have to say, I'm on the team. Yes.

So my sister married a Jewish man, Goldstein. And he just said the kids can be raised Catholic and they were. And that's that. So he didn't convert.

He never converted.

He could have, but he never did.

And it was fine. And it was fine.

“I mean, I do think it's nice if your both are like into it.”

But as long as someone's not like making you not go or something, you know what I mean? Yeah. And you're not like fighting about the, you know, so this is a marriage. I'm, I'm, we're, I'm getting married in October.

How'd you meet your fiance? On Instagram. Oh, I mean, she's led in or you're slid in. I made a, I made a, couldn't have been being, I was been slid in.

Yeah, for years, for one. In, yeah, I made a, I made a spoof video about the news. Okay. Make it one of the news about how news anchors like in the snow. Yeah.

They're like, why am I out here? You could see it snowing. Why do I need to be? Yeah, it was a fake, back in 20, I don't know, six, 20, 20 or something like that.

And she does that for a living. She's a news anchor. She works for NBC. And somebody sent her my video. They're like this guy making fun of a funny news anchor.

So somebody sent me a video of her doing it sincerely.

I see, I feel that's very like the universe that working in God in your favor. Like that's just kind of-- And I was in rehab. This was wild about my whole story that I was in burned my life

to the ground. I was in rehab. And I, there was no-- they would let us watch TV on the weekends for like a three hours. And so that we were watching the local news.

Because there was no Netflix or there was nothing. And I was watching that we watched the local news. And I saw a news anchor doing that. And I was like, when I get out of rehab, I'm going to make a joke about that.

“If you, if you don't believe in God, I believe--”

I mean, I love all that stuff. I know, I know, I know. And as I can't, or I feel like it's-- I don't know if it's just me. And the universe or whatever.

But it happens so much more now. Like I'll literally think of somebody that I hadn't talked to in a while and I'll get a text from them in an hour, like within an hour. And I'm just like, what is that?

There's just so many things like-- and like my parents are both passed. So there'll be little things like-- I'll tell a story about my dad with a bunch of girlfriends. And we're about to go to the spa.

And then they're like, Heather, you know, you're turning to go to the spa. Here's the key to your locker. And my dad's sports number is 34. And it's 34.

Yeah. Like just like just like just all those kinds of like signs.

And I just think it's amazing.

“And then throughout life of like knowing”

like whether you work like manifestation or whatever, even if you're not like really working it. So you'll look back and you're like, I thought of that, or I saw that, or I said, one day that'll be me. And now it's me.

And like I love all that. I think it's so powerful. Yeah, and you look at the dark and you look at the universe and you go, my word. Yeah.

You just go, I'm not sure they were weird hats. And the thing with the chanting, I'm not sure about all that, but it's got to be something. I think that's the start of it. Yeah.

Or my, or my, I'd love one pass away, or I've a child being born in black.

Do you see you never missed out on opportunities

in the business? Because they are prejudiced about the fact that you are someone of faith. Um, it's, I don't know if this is a, I just think it's a crutch to people to blame stuff.

It's like a lot of times people are like, oh, it's because I'm Democrat, that they're Republican, I go, it's not good enough. Yeah. You know, like, oh, it's because I'm Christian,

that I go, it's not that good also. Oh, it's because I'm a lesbian or it's because I'm black. I go, people don't, they want to make money. They don't care about if someone's right. Anything.

And I always say, there's so many entities. Can you be, um, Blackball for one particular show? Because someone hates you and is, is the person who's a talent book or yes. Sure.

Yes, but there's other shows you could get on to. So it's like, yes, sometimes that'll happen.

And you'll never know why.

I'm just not with the victim. Yeah, like, you never know why, yeah. It's a nice, there's a comic in, in our scene that is, one is a female. She's like, it's because I'm female.

I go, the GM of the club is a female. They are, and it's, or it's because I'm black. I go, I assure you, it is not. It's right. And I mean, it's never been a better time to not be a white straight male.

And in my date, like, yes, there would be 10 people on the bill, like the L.A. and Proph. And it would be eight straight guys, one black guy, one woman. And it would, unless we want, if we wanted more than one woman, we could put our own show together.

And we could all, it all, it all did work out. And it was, but it was also like, you know, there was TV shows, you know, so you always were like, trying to get a sitcom, right? There was a podcast and Instagram and reals. And I realized, like, the executives that were choosing

would be a certain type of guy. And then they would really, they'd see everybody perform. And they would gravitate towards the guy that lived their childhood. So they'd be like, that's the funniest guy because comedy is subjective. And you relate to who you relate to.

So my stuff about being Catholic and sorority girl and Valley girl, there was no executives that were like, oh, my God, I grew up with the nails and went to USC. And I know exactly what this chick is now. You see, they're such a variety.

And they're such a way to find your own audience without the gatekeeping of only having television stations.

“So that's what I think is so great about today.”

If you go to Zainis, like, I live right next to Zainis and Nashville. There's there's two rooms now.

There's probably 20 plus shows a week.

And it's like, when I was coming up, you would just go to the comedy club. You wouldn't look, there was no YouTube. There was no, you wouldn't look. It had to be Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno 4, everyone.

It had to be for everyone. Now there's like black, Jewish, gay comic. And you don't get it. You're like, I don't know this guy's podcast. I have no idea of this is.

And the lines wrapped around the block twice. Yeah, great for that. Yeah, because they, they, he found, they found it. There's a comic that's from Wisconsin. And he just does Wisconsin.

Great. And everybody that, like, used to live in Wisconsin, are like, we loved that guy.

“That I think is so great because there was exactly what I'm saying.”

It was like, there's no excuse now. Yeah, like, you know, and it's, it's so I think that's really great. Going back because you brought it up in that. You went through this hard time. I, you know, I wasn't going to bring it up because you, but since you brought it up.

I want to say, I really think it's great how you dealt with that. And you took that chunk of time. I think if more people that fall into a hard moment, just put their phone down. Maybe don't perform for six months. And just to take that time, I don't think enough people take the time that's necessary.

And then when you come back, you can come back.

You can't come back and be struggling the never.

But I think so many times people are like, you know, and that must have been like shocking to have to turn stuff down and cancel you two and put your book on hold and all of that. Oh, you did do some research. But I do think, well, I remember when I was happening to you.

And I remember thinking that you were handling it right. Yeah. And I think in this day and age, like, that's a lesson to learn. Like, it doesn't mean it's over. It just means like, take a breath.

I mean, you know, and just like get, get good, you know? Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, first of all, the other reason we tried talking about this is because you did

“go around my publicist that you did DM me directly.”

Like, you were talking to them, they were saying, listen, anything you want. So funny. If you want something cut out, this is not like it. I like to talk about it. They don't want me to talk about it.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's part of my story.

It's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. It's awesome. We used a 2019.

And I had a Netflix special coming out in that fall. And I was like on the tonight show, not a book deal. And I was like performing in churches. But I was also like, getting drawn, like, and like, doing all kind of behavior that was not, you can't do, that it's like, it's kind of like, if you remove the part of the religion

that is tough is the shame involved in it. But if it's kind of like, well, these are the rules, you can't work jeans on Friday. I wore jeans on Friday. And I got fired. Oh, from doing the church.

But yeah. Not up there. Like, you can't. You can't. There's a kind of an unspoken rule that if you're performing in church that you probably

are behaving as a Christian. Right. Got it. And I was. Oh, okay.

So that all kind of whispers on Twitter and that stuff kind of came out. But it was also like every, all of my comedian buddies, or like they would read that article about me. They're like, the sounds like a regular Tuesday. So when I read it, you know, and it was just that like you're flirting with women that

might have, I'd be married or something, and they were flirting with you. I mean, in the scheme. Yeah. That's it. Everybody said, that's it.

Everybody said. Yeah. Yeah. To Louis C.K. To who was the other of these?

As easy as these. As easy. Who would just kind of had what I would refer to as bad bedside manner. Yeah. Act like you're a little more into her when you're calling the Uber.

Just act a little more into her. She's going to get her feelings hurt by that. But like that. Yeah. And then that was like.

Yeah. You. I was pretty down. Pretty far down on the list. Yeah.

“But that's what was so honestly like noble about it.”

Like that you were like, no, this was wrong. And I am this person. Yeah. That is why it's wrong. And that's why I'm going to go make myself right.

And you proactively ended this stuff for yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would probably say I looked back on that.

So it was a lot of it was 2019, which is a very in terms of. Remember people were like just that executives were like, I slept with the girl in college. I'm quitting. People were like proactively quitting their jobs. That's right.

Yeah. They were so scary. It was so like the Harvey wine. It was so scary. Like 17 to like 21 was like yeah.

Yeah. It was a lot of like, it was so with the religion aspect of it, it like adds us, adds a whole another level of like, I don't know, I guess I was so scared. Yeah. If you look back on it, maybe I should have been like, yeah, I'm not perfect.

But again, I got sober because of that.

Yeah. So it was like everything falls in the way it's supposed to, which is also like the way I was going, would do have no shot to be in a healthy relationship or marriage. I hate to say that cancellation 100%. Is that mixed in?

It was kind of good. It was kind of good. It saved my life. It did save my life. And I hate to say that because I don't want people to be calling people out publicly.

I don't think that's the way forward.

“Well, I remember reading your thing and I was like, wow.”

This is like, it's not like you actually were a pastor. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, so that.

And banishing people that, you know, it was just that you were part of that world.

And I thought, wow, that is real. That shows that he actually does walk the walk because he like wants to do better. That's wild to hear that from you because I didn't cry. No, I didn't think that it's just wild to hear. I, I mean, I was, yeah, it was a, it was a very, it's, I'm like, sorry, I'm not a normal.

No, it's fine. In podcaster, I actually like talk about shit like this. So it's probably like, no, what you were expecting today, but it was so, like, a lot of people like you or like reached out to me. I was getting crushed on the internet, obviously on Twitter, but there were so many people

that were like, it's probably how you heard of me. No, I had knew about you before and I, like, because I'd seen your stuff and I thought it was really funny. And I loved like the pastor and the jet, the pastor, the jet, the pastor, the jet, all that kind of stuff.

So like I thought it was really funny and then I just was like reading it. And I kept trying to find like the bad part, yeah, and I was kind of reading for some key words. Yeah, I was like, what is going to happen? And then I was like, oh my god, like, and so then to see then you like come back and

find you and you're doing your funny stuff again and I just thought, this is what it's supposed to be. Yeah. Like this is what it's supposed to be. Your life shouldn't be an entertainment should be this, you know, providing, you know,

you're not, you know, you know, moderating women children men and, you know, murdering people. Things that I'm just like, wow, like that was so, um, just important to see. And when you think about your life now and how you found the love of your life and every, I just think it's like such a beautiful story because it's true.

“It's like, it's very much, you know, I believe in like everything happens for a reason.”

And I believe in life's rejection has got protection and some of you don't realize that you've spent three years laying in bed going, I regret this, I regret this, I regret this. And then all of a sudden, you're like, well, on the small level, if I didn't do that, I wouldn't have had this hilarious bit. Yeah.

If I didn't do this, I wouldn't have, you know, headed up here, I wouldn't have met. And then you're like, oh, my God, I wouldn't, I mean, even for me with this podcast, I've had career things that I regret it like for a long time. And then one day I woke up and I'm like, the show wouldn't be here. If I hadn't fucked up over here, and then missed a bunch of opportunities because of this

fucked up, and I could only work on this and now if they got, I have this, and I have no envy to be over here. That's what I said at the beginning. Yeah. And if you didn't have this pot, like, imagine going into those like audition rooms with like,

yeah. And you can say whatever you want and have whatever conversations you want, you go, oh, thank God. Like, I can, anybody can go back and if they don't know the article that you can go back and look at it, I got no shame about it. It doesn't know.

It doesn't hold any kind of shame for me, and I'm a, it's, it's just wild. It's truly wild because people don't believe in God or to elect that there is some kind of plan for you.

“I may remember being so mad at God, like how journal that well, we had it was like journals”

and it was just right. This is a, this is a horrible plan. But then you come kind of come through it, what's truly wild is it was fall of 2019. So, I had a music manager, he was not a comedian manager. I was about to release a Netflix special and then go on a stadium tour, not a stadium tour.

Sorry, an arena tour. Oh my God.

I had no material because like, I'd work in for 10 years to, for my first Netflix special.

And he didn't know that you got to kind of go on. Yeah, you can't just do the exact Netflix special that everybody just saw. But because of music, you do, you do the album and then you tour it. And then I was like, oh my God, put a panic and then it got canceled and then COVID happened.

Right. And then kind of perfect. Yeah, too. I come out and now I have like, I have a new show that we're working on, that we have been more successful by far than we ever would, that, that, that arena tour could have been

the end. Right. Because you could have bombed or disappointed. I could have bombed. I could have bombed.

And I know material. Yeah. So go. Yeah, even if you're like an atheist or you're, you go, hey, that's fine. I'm not going to try to press it on you, but there's some things that happen in life

that are too, like, what? Yeah. That it's just, it, yeah. Amazing. is too much to, I mean, when you're in treatment,

I never, I was so, everybody was so sad,

that's like the best comedy came from. - I mean, I was so sad for team, you mean, and your family are like, - No, no, no, no, you just want to get help the people in there. Is everybody burn their lives to the ground?

- Right. - And I remember the one guy goes, my buddy Warren, we were all in there together. He had blown his life up, we'd all blown our lives up. And he, you know, I was starting to kind of feel better,

start to get a little like, oh, maybe I can, I don't know about it, I ever do comedy again, but I'll be able to go to the golf course. And I was like, am I getting sued? Do I have any money?

And they're like, yeah, it's not ideal situation, but you're gonna be fine. And I started to kind of have some pep in my step, you know. And he puts his arm around me one day, we're on a walk, we're on a hike.

And he goes, it looks like you're doing a lot better here,

and you make a lot of progress. I just want to let, you know, don't take suicide off the table just yet. - And like we were dying, we were so, like humor was so, that's the most morbid thing I've ever heard,

but we've died, like it was so, the comedy was so fresh, it's so painful, that the world was so painful, that it was like comedy, I fell in love with comedy, all over again, and all the things that happened in the world

by the way, since then, you're like...

“- And you have to be in a mind set to be creative,”

you can still kind of chug along, but then when you're in a great mental state, because it's like, you have to go on stage whether something horrible just happened or you've got a text or something like that,

you've got to go on, you gotta be like, "Hello, I don't know, yeah, I didn't use you." - And get in the moment and still enjoy talking to the people and telling stories and all that, you can't just like blow it off

because you need a mental health day. It's like not, can't do it. - And if people message you all the time, just because of how big this podcast is, we're like, "Hey, I've been going through a tough time

in my life and your pot is, it provides me in a scape, but I feel like I'm part of this community, I feel like you're hard like doing it." And you could hear directly from those people. - I mean, I love it, and I still have that guilt

where on occasion there was a mistake where I had some work for me, they put up the wrong podcast. They put Tuesday's podcast and get on Thursdays. - Oh yeah. - And of course it goes up

at one end or midnight, on the East Coast, so I wake up on the West Coast to all these messages of just people like, "Hey, you know, "and I literally thought about the people "that mentally really depend on waking up

"on their commute, whatever." And it wasn't what they wanted. And I was just like, "Oh my God, oh my God. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I'm not." Because I've been so consistent

that they depend on it so much,

“and it's like, because it'd be there, so great, you know?”

- It's not, by the way, no one's saying that to the lady that's in the For Breeze commercial. Or whatever, whatever anyone else is doing, not that other people's work doesn't matter, but look, if you have, if I believe truly,

if you do have that ability, like, every time people are sad, they go to art. - Yeah. - They don't go, they go to art. They go music, they go to podcasts, they go to comedy, they go to something to write.

If you truly have that ability, I believe, to give that gift to other people, like who's your favorite might like Chris Martin from Coldplay?

Like, gosh, dude, what if he never did it?

- Yeah. - Or if he never, who are you, to that, I believe God gives people these talents, and who are you to not? - Well, like, I didn't, I wasn't pursuing it at first. I thought I'll be like a business woman

then I was like, well, I mean, I just was like, I knew how hard it was to make it in acting, growing up here and stuff. But I knew I had this like comedy gift that like I could imitate and do impressions.

And I just remember I kinda came to the conclusion that like, if I don't pursue this gift that not everybody has, like I always tell people, find the thing that you're good at, that like not everybody else can do.

- Yeah. - There's a lot of things I cannot do, that I have friends that are very good at. And I'm like, please pursue interior design. Please pursue, like, you're good at it.

“- Yeah, like you're just like, so not me, you know?”

- Yeah. - And so I'm like, I was like, it is like a, after you to, to God,

was blessed upon you that not everybody can do. And like it could be amazing. And the other thing, which I've told the story on this show to so many times, but I'm just gonna take quickly.

Well, I was like 10. I was watching like a Colin show and it was, 'cause someone called in and anywhere free was a guest. And this woman said, I just,

if I knew if I ever had a chance to talk to you I have to tell you this, you know, so many years ago, my son died, like it was like a young child. And it was the worst day of my life.

And I said, I will never laugh again.

And that night I turned on SNL and you were gumby. And I laughed again.

“And I remember at 10 going, that's what I wanna do.”

- Yeah. - That's what I wanna do. I'm like, if I could do, if I could make someone laugh on their hardest day and be in a scape, I just wanna be in a scape. For an hour, hour and a half, whatever it is.

And I'm like, I think when your intentions are pure like that, then the success will come. Some will be making a hundred million dollars. And some will just be very happy in their house, but they still get to be creative.

But if you do it for the right reasons, you know. - And it has some, if you are like, everything, whoever put this together is I believe doing God's work. - And to live our lives in these people are evil, obviously.

- No, but I, I just don't like an accident. - Somebody cared, he wasn't like the person who grew these beans all the way in where they come from. That guy wakes up with the same intention that we do. That care, he doesn't like, I hope I make money,

I hope I, but I was born to figure out how to the best way to plant these beans and to grow them, and he sees everybody here commercially enjoying what the God gave him the ability to do that.

I think that's everything of that camera. I think that's the road that you drove on over here. - Yeah. - The guy was like, I'm obsessed with this mixture of cement and asphalt that I could put together.

So if people can drive on these roads, Christianity aside. I feel like more people listening to this podcast can get about the business of doing the reason why God put on this planet.

- Well, before we end, I want to say, I love it. - Let me ask everybody to get saved now. I feel like, oh, I'm sorry. - I don't care. - That's too much.

- The other thing that's happened in the last few years for me positively is that I was way more conscious about saying the wrong thing, being caught, saying the wrong thing, and all that, and I do feel like, no, I'm like, fuck it.

“You know what I'm gonna go listen to someone else then?”

Like, I'm sorry, this is me. You may not like every episode, you may not like every guess. I'm gonna meet me. You're not, you're choosing to unsubscribe. I'm not gonna lose my home.

Like, I'm not, so I'm gonna change my lifestyle.

My dad always used to say that too.

If I lose this client, so I'm gonna change my lifestyle. - I don't do this gig, it's okay. So at this point, I do think God depends on whom swinging where people are a little bit able to breathe.

- Well, not if you're on the networks. - Right, yeah. - If you're gonna get a reoccurring on in that work, sitcom, and you put out a tweet, they will write you out of that show.

- Right, 'cause the morality clause of the contracts and things like that, they can save that. - Actually, I can save that. - I can save that.

- A person that has happened to this year. - They were casted a show. They were in a show, and an article came out about them that they, the network did not like. And they wrote them out of the show.

“- And it was just politically incorrect.”

- Yes. - Not hateful. - No, it was not on the side. - Not got it. - Not got it.

- God it. - And they go, well, but now, you look at Rogan. You look at what's the guy that I'm sure you talked about it. There was, he was locking the doors from the inside. He was hooking up with all the girls

at the morning show of the show. - Oh, malware. - Yeah. - You're done. - Yeah.

- 'Cause you're with CBS. - Right.

- And now, he didn't, he never had his own audience.

- Yeah. - Like Rogan has his own. - Right. - So you can't. - Right.

- It's amazing. It's the greatest. - It's really in all the complaints that we all in the '80s and '90s and early 2000s. You're like, well, we made our own show.

- Yeah. - So I want to talk about this show. I love this. It's filmed like, like the office or parks and rack. And tell me a little bit how you thought of it

and how you executed it and everything. - Well, it's called Springfield First. So it's basically, my father-in-law has passed down the church to me. So I'm this young, you know, trendy kind of pastor,

which, and it's always, if you have a church of 5,000 people, there are very human scenarios that are going on. - Trauma. - Yeah. - There has to be.

- The pastor and I have worked at churches. I know how it goes. I know all the, like, this guy's nuts in the church, but he ties a lot of money. - That means gives a lot of money.

- Yeah, that means it gives a lot of money. So let's hear him out. Or there's a lot of human things going on at a church.

- It's Catholic Church, too.

“- But the thing about the Catholic Church,”

like I said, like, if I didn't go, like they're not calling me up and being like, "Oh yeah, they're not knocking on the door." That's the thing where I'm like, "I wish the Catholic Church take some marketing classes."

- There needs to be a little bit between the evangelicals and the Catholics. Like, Catholics don't care if you're there. - No, they don't care, you're not special. - You're not special.

- You're not special. - You know, it's like, you know, whatever. - Even jellicle ever is too special. - And if you do a lot, you still can't reserve a seat on Christmas Eve.

You could give up on a thousand dollars. You could be seeing in the park. - That's why people like Catholicism. - And if you can't find a parking spot, you're screwed.

You're standing in the back of your heels in the cold. - Gosh. - You can't buy a seat. - And this evangelical scenario,

like that one of the is, we have a great team.

Like every evangelical church would have a great team meaning walking, there's a, hey, how you doing, good to see you. And we did like a review of the headshots of like, it's Easter, we gotta get the hottest.

- Creators, I love it. - And everybody in the DM's, by the way, is like, this is my church, like this happens. - I mean, this is also sorority life. Like, yeah, it's like putting the cutest girls in front

to do the sexy dance. - Yeah. - And like, but think about that conversation. - Yes. - You're like, okay.

- But it's odd, yeah. - Much is she way, or like, well, she's a little bit hotter. She get more likes on her Instagram. Let's put her up for, it's like. - We would be sitting back to the community.

And my mom would be like, my mom, who is a good woman, but she'll, yeah. - Yeah.

“- She'd be like, what happened to the O'Malley girl?”

(laughing) - Right, right. - Well, they set her off to the Midwest, and I mean, talk about the freshman 15, I think it's my freshman 15. I thought you could barely walk that up like,

what we are, it's like you literally just got the body of Christ, I'd like you are so, but we would still wear a church every Sunday and we would be like literally judging people's outfits. And I'm like, well, okay, so when you thought,

now I'm guessing in your career as you're rising up, many people, network people came to you saying you should have a sitcom. - Sure, sure, yeah. - This is what it should be, was this ever one of the ideas

you had back before you decided to do it yourself? - It's a thousand people, I've pitched this to a thousand people. - And did it how far did it go? - They shut it down every time. - Did you ever get to the point where you wrote the pilot,

but not acting out? - Yeah, we wrote and filmed the pilot. - And which network? - No, we pitched it to everybody, ESPN, and not ESPN, Netflix, ESP, Amazon, Prime, all of them.

- But it never got to the point.

And so then what made you go, actually I'm on a point where I'd like to finance it myself and film on myself and how does that work? - It's really not, I mean, just between us, I was always not between us, I guess.

But it's just a, it's a, we work. - Oh, you went to a we work. - That's what that office is. - That's net, that's the set. - Yeah, okay.

- It's an off, I mean, the outside of the churches is AI. - Right, right. - Yeah, so that's, like it's like, and we have a camera, we have all the stuff, and how long are each of the things?

- A couple minutes, plans could be two, could be five, just a simple scenario. - And where I know it's on your Instagram, but there is also a new two we can watch it all at once. - Yeah, but yeah, no, it's not,

there is release daily, or release twice a week. Yeah, 'cause Springfield first is like, - And then did you finance it all yourself or you got invested? - I just financed it myself.

- Because, and has anyone now come and said, - Yeah, I think everybody, everybody. - And everybody, and I guess I need to do it. - Just to steal, like, for years. - But sometimes things that people are ahead of their time,

sometimes, sometimes you're just ahead of your time. - Same with you, that you go kind of so glad they didn't, they turned it down. - Yeah. - 'Cause now, like, we had a joke and that somebody

getting towed from the, oh, I loved that. - That was such a joke. - The no kings were out. - Yeah.

“- And I go, are they, which side of the no kings were they on?”

And about like, oh, people were getting towed from the church parking lot, but I go, don't care if you're going to a Chris Tomlin, it's like a big Christian singer. - Yeah.

- I don't care if you're going to a Chris Tomlin concert or a Clan Rally. - Yeah. - You can't park in our church parking lot. (laughing)

- But look, that'll be cut. Then we're gonna cut that. - Yeah. - And if we're talking about here, then that word goes, "Hey, we can't."

- Yeah. - So you go, well, all right, well, then ever should do it. - You're actually watching it, I thought, ooh, that's kinda even edgy that he's saying this. But I thought that was so true.

- But edgy to who? - Because I'm watching it. And it was really funny 'cause it was like, we're not really sure if they're for the no kings, or they're going to protest the no kings.

- It's all like that. - But it was so confusing, but so funny, and then you're like, "Just tell 'em." - It takes like a very, like very, all the most touchy subjects,

but doesn't take a side. Like the next episode is somebody comes, you know, like what a Bible study is. - Yeah, I guess it works. - Like a group.

- Yeah, there's like the church has like a hundred of 'em. - Yeah. - If you join the church, you can choose

We're a empty nesters, Bible study, college, Bible study.

So somebody comes and they say they wanna have black Bible study. - Yeah. - And you go. Okay, like we can't allow that. Obviously, the white people are gonna be upset.

They're like, we don't have a white Bible study, we got a NASCAR, pickleball Bible study, in the car, we got a NASCAR. And then I just, it's like very, I go, well, they can't, what do they wanna call it?

They go black Bible study, I go, can we switch it to like, the Bible study, cook out, or switch it like insane. Like, but it doesn't say, it doesn't take a side, which is what's brilliant about it, but there's nobody in our ear to like tell us.

- It was so funny. I was talking about this like scandal, this cheating scandal on like a reality show. And under the video, they said, well, you're missing the point about what Sierra said

in the AA community. - Yeah.

- And I go AA, I'm like a she, alcoholics and anonymous.

- Yeah. - And they're like, no, it's African-American. Now we know that he had there's so good way, yeah. - And I was like, well I just see her as a beautiful girl. I go, I don't think he was dating her,

not dating her because of the colors.

“Good, I think he was hot and didn't work out.”

I was like, what? I'm like, I don't even know what AA is, AA, sorry. Like, I'm like, I'm like, yeah, the haters are like, we got her, like there's like one person in basement, like just trying this, I don't fucking care anymore.

- Or like you can't, you can't like, I have no boss for you to like, you know, if a guy's like sending like inappropriate things, they can find his boss and then send it to him and then he gets fired.

- Right. - Like what we don't. - Yeah, but he doesn't care about being canceled also too. - Yeah. - Well, he already kind of tried to get him. And he's here, I don't know, what do you want to,

what do you want us to do? - I mean, that's the kind of, once you go through that too, it's like, you know, you've already, you know, done this once to me and if the Lord chose it to me again, I will know how to react even better.

So go ahead and try this. - Or it's not scary, I mean, I used to be so,

like when somebody first said something critical about you,

it was so terrifying. - Oh yeah. - Like, especially publicly. - Yeah. - You were like, "Hella, make Donald, and you go, oh my gosh." - You know, that's not me, and now you're like,

- I'm not gonna waste my time defending. - No. - By, like, I know who I am and the people that listen and bend you with it go to my show. Like, if I lose someone, whatever. - And it should be in the time and how I really is good.

- It really is good. - It is good. - It is good. - You can go find if you are obsessed with rock climbing in South Dakota, there's content for you. - I love that. - There's an Instagram feed,

there's probably a podcast that you get, you don't have to watch what everyone else is watching. There's a, do me and you and the pot, there's 10,000 tonight shows. - Right, totally.

- And you go watch the one you want. - The one that, 'cause people don't want the view. Well, they already all have one view, but I'm saying, at one time, there used to be, let's have five people with different points of view.

- Actually, no. - They're all being canceled. - I just want to hear, I just want to hear someone that I drive with and I might disagree with them, but I still know like deep down,

I like their personality and I like that,

“I think that they're a good person and whatever.”

- And you don't have to, the, I want to hear what Heather McDonald has to say about the thing that happened over the week. - Right, exactly. Well, this has been so fun and I have your dates here,

you have this huge tour, oh God, I did love the PF Changs. - Oh yeah, right, that's a lot of things. - Oh yeah, that's a lot of things. - Go to his intro, yeah. And I remember, I remember he does this really

funny thing about PF Changs, and it was the fancier Chinese thing, and there were cocktails, I remember. - The kids were little, and we were not, we didn't have the iPad when my kids were little.

- So we would just not really bring them anywhere, and we would just, you know. - The kids are the iPad. - Yeah, we were like, you know, we're not gonna burn a place where they misbehave.

So one day I decided, I looked cute. I came from an audition or something, and I was like, can we get a PF Changs? I think the boys can handle it, you know? And my little one, my little one was like,

whatever, two and a half, and I thought he could handle it.

“Well, remember those big boots and whatever?”

He managed to climb over the booth, steal someone's like fortune cookie, and run out past this, and I was like, I thought, yeah, everyone has been like, really, was it worth it to go to PF Changs?

Dude, I'm like, no, we got to wait like another two years. - Yeah, we're ready yet. - Yeah, we're ready. - We might be white trash, right? - Yeah, I thought, two nights of the flight.

- Yeah, two nights. PF Changs was, the suburbs of America was, but changed the game. - Well, what I saw, this is the horse, like God's so funny.

But here are your dates, you're everywhere. - Oh, dang it. - And right now, this weekend you're out here,

North Carolina. - Oh, we go on everywhere. - Florida. - Where are your viewers at, in LA? - I everywhere. - Everywhere, yeah. - I mean, we're in the main--

- They're all these places.

“- My best, you know, city, states, whatever,”

are LA San Diego, New York, Chicago, Florida, Texas. - Beautiful. - Those are my affiliate places like that, Washington, D.C., all that, and then Nashville too.

I mean, obviously you're in the South, which is amazing.

- And it was pretty good, bit. - Yeah, so if you are not following you, I know that you, you, everyone should, 'cause it's such funny content. You're such a delight, congrats on these dates.

- Listen, maybe God, God, it was God's plan for me to not be on your shows. - So that we can have this-- - So we can have this kind of-- - I have this kind of moment.

- And leave it to the podcast. - And leave it to the podcast. - And leave it to the podcast. - No, no, no, no, no. - 'Cause that's not a delete.

- Well, I know I know I'm working on putting my fall

in 27 together, and I know we're definitely gonna do a Nashville show. - Sure. - Well, Nashville is popular. - Yeah, and I perform there before.

It's been a couple of years, which is good, too. Then a few years, people were real thirsty for it. - Yeah, come on. - And it's, you know, there's nothing cured of the Nashville.

- Yeah. - True story. - He's got some white cowboy boots. You'll fit right in. - Oh, I already have white cowboy boots.

I will be bringing you up.

“- Yeah, I kind of go into the key to this week.”

- So I have a house there, and you know, for Coachella and Stage Coach, I was like, I think I need to put the boots back in the house. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, I don't know if I'm gonna go.

I'm hoping to go some parties, and then, I mean, it's a pretty young vibe. So I kind of like to just enjoy, and then go to like a party here and there and then maybe. - Yeah, yeah, I'm not going for the three days,

like my 19 year old niece. - Stay out. - Stay out. - Yeah, I know I have a house. - Oh, yeah, I know what I'm doing now, yeah. - Thank you so much, John.

- Total delight. - Thank you. - Absolutely. - Your website should get the ticket. - What's the best tickets, oh, they don't get the tickets.

- Oh, yeah, they always went there.

- They got to go directly to the station. - $100, I gotta know they're not.

“- You have to go to what? - Yeah, JohnCristComedy.com.”

- And that's CRIS. - Yeah, like with Christ, but no age. - Exactly, so he's, and it's J-O-N. - J-O-H-N. - Oh, you are J-H-N.

- But there's an H-N, but not in there. It's not an H in the Christ. There's an H in the first, not so H. - So John is J-O-H-N. - Yes. - And then the H is gone and Christ.

- Yeah, they used to. - And the Instagram, it's John B. - John B, Christ. - Christ, Christ. - My middle name is Barack.

- No way. It's a character in the Bible. He's a name in the Bible. - Oh, interesting. - Yeah, my parents are very Republican.

- That's crazy. - Yeah, they're like, you didn't have to. I go, "Wow, I'm 40, I'm 42, I could be named after Barack." - That's amazing. - Yeah.

- So interesting. Thank you. - honored to be here. - Everybody go to Heather McDonald.net for all of my stuff on my Patreon.

Love you, bye.