The Valley’s Cracks and Real Housewives’ Futures

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♪ Had a McDonald ♪ ♪ Juicy scoop ♪ - Hello and welcome to Juicy scoop.

I am very excited for a first-time Juicy scooper,

but I was a guest on her show and we just hit it off. Lori Alterman, Hit Podcast, Fan, or Fanatic. She is an entertainment reporter. Very, very funny.

There's a lot of comedic takes on Raleigh TV and whatnot also does stuff for us weekly. Welcome, thank you. I'm so excited you're in L.A. and you could make this fun show in person.

- Heather, there's nowhere I'd rather be except for next to Kyle Cook and a bit. - Okay, let's talk about it. - Yeah, let's talk. - Let's get right into it.

- Get into it. - I asked you, I said, I just wanna, we'll just do some hot take some unpopular opinions which you're not afraid to say. I love it.

- In this world of pop culture

and bravo-related things, obviously summer house, we've talked a lot about and you think that Kyle Cook is extremely hot. You know I hung out with him. - Yes, I know it, bravo-con.

We missed each other, but I also hung out with him, but not the way you did. You had a real moment. You almost slept with him by watching his DJ set and unlike Meredith Marx.

He actually knows how to DJ and he's talented. - He's totally talented. We, after my, I did a live show at the MGM and then we went to the nightclub and I had a whole set up that they were the casino

and the people in Vegas were, - It's Korean. - It's Korean VIP. - And lean into it. - Yes, this guy Andrew was wonderful to help set up.

So we go with my friends and you know, Brady Julie, who was part of the show and he is the DJ and I loved his DJ set because he does all the mixing but it's also all the songs you love.

So he just flowed and then I got to say hi to him and he was very lovely. And then later on, couple weeks later, a month later out of the blue, he DMed me and he just said, I just want to thank you

for all the nice, nice and supportive things you've said about my DJ and I'm like, you know what I've said? I'm like, I'm so glad he got so much shit and all these girls like. - Yeah. - Anyways, becoming a DJ and thank God

first-trap and I'm like, thank God he did. Good for him. He's good at it. He likes it. It's a great thing to do.

Now all these other people realize even Erica Jane, I loved her honesty

“when she's like, how do you like being DJ pretty much?”

Like I love it. I play other people's songs. I just go like this. Move a couple fingers. I don't need a bunch of dancers.

I don't need to 12 outfits exactly. - Can we take a minute for that spot on imitation? I wouldn't even save any of you. - I think you just channeled Queen Erica. That was fabulous.

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But I love that she's doing it and she's right. It's a good fun thing to do and last, your mirror to smoke, so I think sucks. And by the way, eight, eight, the mama,

of an occupation.

I don't like mirror to smoke.

Well, I think, okay, well that's okay,

“they don't like her, but I'm saying of course,”

a DJing thing can I would think could easily be faked. - It could. - You put the whole 90 set together. You put in the cassette tape.

You push it here. - Do they still spin records, Heather? Is that what they'd like like, I think they have their things set up and what they do in the moment is like rise

and beat here, lower something here and beat. And that's where you're really doing it. But also prior to the gig, they just like a community intermission is put to have put their set together.

So we're gonna start on this song, we're gonna go to this one, but I'm saying,

if you are just the face of something,

why couldn't you hire somebody that could do it, put it all together for you? And then act like you're doing this throughout the 90s minute set when it's really just, but we don't know.

Maybe she really did take the DJing class. We don't know.

“- So you're gonna tell me why you're not a fan of her?”

- She's in a cafe, she's an expert in bath bombs, she's an expert in LL CoolJ, I don't, but why am I not a fan of her? Because I find her personality annoying. I don't think she takes, I hate this word.

It's ever used accountability. I think she's a whiner. I think she's boring. And if she's listening, I stand by it. Okay, I don't like her.

So you wouldn't care if she didn't come back to the felt like. - I actually got some info that she wasn't, but I know they're filming now, and she's still there. - Yeah, seeing the photos, where are they?

- Well, they weren't the San Francisco doing some stuff. - Okay, but no, they are filming, and she is part of the cast. And I, you know what, I don't get much opportunity to work with casting on these shows.

- Yeah. - But I have a strong opinion on all of them. And I think Meredith Marks brings nothing to the franchise. - I totally disagree.

- Go ahead. - I think she's very fun to watch. - What? - I'll just like her weird kind of voice, where she's like, we're gonna brutalize my family.

Like I kind of like it. I think she's really pretty. She's fascinated by her disease. That makes her boobs grow enormous. And she's gonna get a different boobs job every year.

- I think that's sad, but crazy. - I think it's annoying and weird. It's funny, because I love vanilla ice cream. Let's say you don't. You would have a strong case.

I'm saying the thing that you find fascinating about Meredith makes me break out in hives. Who else do you love on there? - I mean, I'm pretty entertained by the whole cast. I am definitely someone that I'm very careful

about saying, I don't want this person back or anything like that, because I do think it's a job.

“And I think they give so much of themselves”

and they are so replaceable.

So I never want to have a clip or something

where I'm like, get rid of so-and-so, you know? I, if I'm still watching the show, then the producers are doing something right. Even if you hate someone, it's better that you hate someone than to be indifferent

when we're talking about a reality show. So if you're looking forward to it and you're not falling asleep through it, then I think they're doing their job. And some of these franchises, I really do fall asleep in.

- And that's a one of four, I do not fall asleep in that one. Salt Lake is one of my favorite franchises. - I mean, I think, I've said it before. I think Bronwyn, oh, I love her. Oh, I love her.

- I think Bronwyn should be the poster child of a girl who married for money was stuck with an asshole and found her way out through the help of Andy Cohen, reaching his hand out and lifting her up

and now she's single and screwing a 32 year old girl. - Oh, that's hot. - And going to the met ball, she still has her money. She's famous, her skin looks better. - It does.

- It's funny how the more famous you get the better the skin, I'm hoping for those days. Bronwyn is my favorite housewife. You just hit something that is so emotional for me. - I don't have any problem with her marrying.

- They awful Todd, also known as the character. - I think she loved him. - I do. - I mean, I see the mean man from the cherry pick. - No from the up movie.

Remember up? - That's so Todd, it's so Todd. And it was one thing, you know, maybe you'd feel bad for him if he was kind of an ugly guy that married a young girl and helped raise her daughter

and then she left him or something. - That wasn't the case. - He was mean, she knew he was mean. She took the show to show the world I married to a mean husband

- Do you think this was intentional?

- A hundred. - Calculated, even more people I love. - Bronwyn, Newport.

“They always say, this is what I always think.”

When an inevitable divorce happens because they put themselves on a reality show, the woman that agrees to the reality show that's in the shitty marriage, she is two trains of thought, okay?

And they're both, one, I want him to see how mean he is. I want him to watch it back and see how mean he is. And then he'll get nicer and we can stay married. I think that's their first thought. And I'll be able to be famous and have a career of my own.

But he'll see to be nice to me. He'll appreciate me because I'm making money. He'll see that everyone else loves me. He should love me too. That's what they hope happens.

- Fascinating. - What does happen is this? He's mean on camera. They edit it. This former CEO guy that has been walking around

as a straight white male.

Everything he had until him never has been afraid,

doesn't give a show up, people think. He opens his phone and realizes he has no chin. He never knew he had no chin. - That's impossible. - Whether McDonald, how do you not know

you don't have a chin? - They don't know until they get on the show with their thirsty wife. - They read all the comments. - Now they become meaner to her at my comment.

- Then they become meaner to their wife because they're even more resentful that she did this. And she's reading all the comments, he's so mean. - And they're not saying anything about her looks other than their perfect.

- Yeah, and you're so great, what are you doing? And then they break up. But their initial thought is to be successful and stay married, I think maybe one or two go on, oh, I'm gonna get divorced in your two.

But I think their initial thought is, or yeah, that he'll get better, he'll get nicer

“because that's why they've stayed that long.”

But really what it does is crack it open and that's why there's so many divorces. - Heather, have a question for you. - Yes. - If you were to be on the housewives,

we've discussed this before and I've been approached what I ever think about

and I would never think about it.

But you got me thinking about now. I would like to expose my husband for the mumbleer he is. He's got marbles in his mouth. So if he sees himself on a reality show going,

"Oh, I'm sorry for the word." And then I would say, "See, see, and the fans would run." Also, if I'm being honest, his breathing's heavy. - Yes.

- What would you want to expose about Peter? - The enormously loud sneezes. - Oh. - The sneezes are so loud. I mean, I, people go, "Why are you like so jumpy?"

It's the sneezes. I, it's, they're so out of nowhere and you know what? They can be controlled.

“- You've, because I went to the masters.”

- Oh. - And, there's, there's Peter's everywhere. - They're right. - There's Peter's right and left. They all look the same.

They all, you, from a distance, I thought everyone was my husband, okay? - I hope you didn't act on that, Heather. - No, I did not. He was with me.

There's allergies, we're at the masters. - It's allergy season. - The guys are putting the ball and hitting the ball. Everyone's quite, how is there not one? 55 plus dad not doing one of those epic sneezes.

- Because you can't control it. - They can control it, it's performative. It's to make everyone in the house be annoyed with them and they're still 13 year old boys and they get off on it.

So they sneeze loud, they do it in threes. Would you rather be with a man who has the Volcanic sneeze or, you know, I'm gonna say, he does a, you have to pick my mod. 'Cause how do you bang a guy who's like,

I got a sneeze? I guess I'd go for a big sneeze. Aren't you a lucky lady? - No, so does this other thing that started about a year ago?

He goes through phases, much like a toddler. Yeah. And it's like, again, I like this big lawn. It's a big lawn, it's something you're doing. (screaming)

And it's just because he's downstairs. Like in falsetto, it's like he's downstairs and nobody's there with him. So it's like his like called to just remind me that he's there.

- Do you win, not just your husband, but anybody sneezes 'cause I'm, I'm grossed out by every time. - By the way, I love sneezing. It is, it is like a mini orgasm. I get it.

sneezing is very satisfying. - I feel that way when I hear the little Netflix thing at the beginning of the beach. - Oh boom. - I feel it in my, yeah.

- Would you, if per se, a man who sneezes

You hear the sneeze, my automatic reaction should be,

“and I'm a girl from the South and the etiquette should be there.”

It should be God bless you. But you know what I do, fake a sneeze right now. - Let's show, ew. - You're disgusting. - Yeah, I say ew.

- Yeah. - That's not nice. - No, it's not, but it's much like a sneeze I can't control it. - Yeah. - As far as going on the show,

first of all, they'll never ask me.

- No, they're not asking you. - It's way too, I'm way too inside baseball. I never wanted to be on the show. I've always been someone that's fascinated and liked it, liked the women outside of the show,

liked interviewing them. The thing I would do is a type of show with other funny women, whether the reality stars or comedians right here, and we go on trips that are paid for, that are paid for,

and maybe some drama happens, maybe they don't, I don't really care. I would rather not exploit my children or fuck up my marriage at this point. I understand jobs are hard to find.

- They are. - I understand, there's a thirsty bitch who's 45, that's already put her whole life. - People are thrown out on Instagram, and it comes a knock-in. - Are we at hitching right now?

- No, I don't blame those numbers. - No, we're pitching right now, if anyone's watching. - Sure. - Imagine how there I pushed for the ultimate girls trip,

“production wise, all of it, why I think that stuff works,”

is it's a win-win for everybody. You're not tying up these girls for six months. You're not fucking up their marriages and exposing their kids. - You give it a go out of town without them.

- Yeah, they're over 18. They're not ready to have the whole world explore them, maybe being undoined with you, because they forgot the cameras were there, and it's like your sons and asshole for life.

Like, you know, do you not remember the scene? - Yes, I remember every scene had there. I'm an expert. - Real house was a Vosy. Gina, Kino goes to the baseball game on an ounce with Vicky.

- Yeah. - And he was not having it. I don't blame him. - I've brought it up 20 times.

- It's why he never went to a professional.

- But it's also wrong for me to bring it up 20 times, but I can't help it. - You can't help it. - They did the show. - They did.

- He's happily married, has a couple kids, is like a real turn, Florida. I'm sure he is great. Still a great relationship with mom. Because I every time I ask her,

I say, I still think about that. See, I mean, I, it's still, but again, my son's have been rude and disrespectful to me. We all have had, but not a camera, but not on camera.

And I wouldn't want that to haunt them. I think it could really affect them. Look at Lynn Curtin's kids. - Oh, well, what's left of them? - Yeah.

- Too soon. - The couple fingers.

“- Why how many fingers do you really need, Heather?”

When you think about it. Think about this. If I'm having a more teeny, right? And I'm missing, I don't know,

well, I would never miss my ring finger,

but it's really just this section. - Do we know how she lost her fingers? - That's drug abuse. - It's not funny. - You know, when you don't lose fingers from,

too many Martinez, and less, of course, you put your down and someone puts one on top really hard. And I'm brittle of osteoporosis. Heather, can we repitch this idea that it's a bunch of famous, a bunch of fabulous,

funny ladies, all in the world of reality, and you put us, and you're not putting us at some like all inclusive secrets bullshit, right? You're gonna put us matter, and matters to me where we stay.

- There's an obvious it's gonna have to be a set-up thing. - Like a fence you have our house, we have activities, split us up. - You guys, it's grilling season, it's summer, and you want quality meats, and how easy

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but it was, I think Tina Fey was one of the writers. Amy Puller, they go for like their wine weekend. Did you ever see it? Here's a hot take on Lori Alterman. I don't really watch many movies.

Okay, well, they did like a weekend with all these funny women and they go to a nap a weekend. And you're just this part where they are kind of talking behind each other's back, but it's all out of concern. Which, because they like Beverly Hills this season.

Which I, that's why I give it some credit, because I do think that's real. It was your like, okay, do you think something's going on with her like, I don't know. Do you think they're marriages okay?

That's what would happen. Like if you were all together, if you noticed your friend of you know, 20 years, get it together every three years, you have this sort of weekend, whatever it is. So, but if we've took a show together,

there has to be more history. Which sometimes I think the ultimate girls trip, I don't, I think they don't know what they're doing. I don't believe Portia's friends with Vicki Golfle said, that's where it says, that's where that's where that's me too.

“I think that you need to, if you're going to do it,”

you do it with or give people that have a history with each other. Yes. And they go do something. You do it with New York and you bring them back and you go do a week, but it's all they know each other.

Not just, we hung out once at BravoCon and I DM'd you that funny real once. Right. No history is going to happen in this week. No juicy things going to happen to me.

You need to be worried about me because you've known. I was. By the way, I would love us to go away and I'm spending so much money. Like so much money that you're worried about me. Yeah.

Like I would love that look for me. And I would think as a friend and I'm saying a lot of money. I'm closing down stores that you go on camera. You call whoever and you're like, things are not normal and how much she's spending.

I think that's a great look. Yeah, I mean, it is what it is. But I do believe she, I'm referring to it. Let's get to Doreet real quick. Oh, Doreet, we are days away from not only her book launch.

Unburdened. She's making fun of herself. She's calling the Times DST Doreet Standard Time. All the four places that she's going to, which is like,

the first one is Barnes and Noble, over here in the Grove.

I don't think being late is a cute quirk. No, not the kind of delete, delete, late. And that's my name for her delete, Doreet. It is not. It is says I don't give in.

I don't care. There's no way, lateness is something that is so indicative of your personality.

“Now I believe there's three kinds of people in this world, okay?”

The person who is always on time and maybe a couple minutes early, okay?

That's pretty much me except for today, okay? Because I forgot my laptop and I have a zoom to do after so we did have to turn around. One other way, so you went to a horrible, I didn't lie about it and said you were checking on your kids. Then there's people that you will keep in your life forever, just like you know, they're

always about 15 minutes late, which is very late. And so you plan as you get older and if you're someone who's always on time, it takes you to about 50 years old where you start to lie and tell them, comment 345 when you really want them to come at four. Do you tell them that though?

I just started doing this with my sister, and I've known her my whole life. I just started being a sister in your whole life. I know my sister my whole life is my best friend, and I just started being dishonest with her about the time. But do you tell her that I'm doing this?

No. Well, you just did. Well, she'll listen. It's okay.

But the last time we did something, she got there before me.

I couldn't believe it. I could not, we shouldn't believe it, not at all. But I'm not overly mad about the 15 minutes. I just, especially here in LA, 15 minutes, so there's that. And then there's the Doreats, which blatantly will be late by an hour or two, to a plane Heather, to a plane.

How does that even work? Well, it's a private plane. So what? I know even worse. You're pit.

I find, and let me tell you something. Imagine being married to that. Go ahead. Yeah.

“I mean, because also, I think, maybe on a train crew.”

But you don't want to, but I don't think I'm too big. I don't know. She needs her. You need to be married, too. Yeah.

I think it was, we'll never know what we're like, someone's marriage is.

I know. I know exactly. And how it can get so ugly, and then being public. What did you think about him going on the podcast? Did you see?

Yes. I know. I bought it. I think he finally feels, he's obviously released all the financials. He wants everyone to know that she's a shopaholic, all of that, and he believes it's

so. I don't understand how she makes 3.5 million here. I don't understand how he as the manager of boy George makes 3.5 million a year. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. >> But she makes at least one two. I feel like we know what these housewives make. I don't know if anyone's ever gotten to the two point to the two million very much. But I know they've gotten to like one two one four around there and she has been on for like ten years.

“>> Yes. So I think she's probably at one two to one four. So where are the two other million comes from? It must all be brand deals and that Amazon live. That's what I think.”

So she's an example of what you were saying. You know, I say I don't care if Meredith Marks ever comes back. >> I don't love to read, but I think she should stay on because she's good TV. >> She needs to stay on well, she absolutely needs to stay on. But nothing surprises me. No, no, nothing surprises me. >> Yeah, nothing surprises. How about this beef with La La Marici, are you up to date on that? I am. Okay. So well, let's talk Valley. Let's talk Valley. Okay. So La La's been my friend for many years. She and Amber who was also married to her their ex shared ex.

>> Oh, you just had them on here that was fascinating. That's a great podcast. You haven't seen a checkup. >> Thank you. And you know, now they're truly best friends. They have this podcast. They bring all the girls together, you know, who are, you know, half siblings and everything. And it's just fascinating. And so I love watching La La. I think she makes great reality TV. She's on the Valley full time. >> And last night, I had, it was, will the episode where Danny and Mia, Danny, well, the time out for a second. Yeah, this is my first Valley. I'm not proud to say it. Oh, you didn't watch last two seasons never and my hot takes. I would love your after you tell me about this opinion because seeing for the first time, I have some strong opinions and I think I might be wrong. But I know I don't like Danny.

>> Okay. I think she's a whiner. I think she's annoying. I think she's boring. And I think she's dramatic. The Kristen that I remember from early Vanderpump is what I'm seeing this season on the Valley. Am I right? You are right. What's hard about this situation with all of them is, you know, we really are watching real life. Yes, and the state that they're in is kind of sad.

“They're having a sad LA is sad. Getting, being having a postpartum baby, baby body baby where you have it lost away.”

Having, it's not the reality TV we want to see. Having men that are where we can edit it. We can edit it and see Danny being absolutely awful to me. Now, are there where they're scenes where they went to the house in Santa Clarita. And he set up a manning and penny for her and took out all the kids. That could have happened. They're not going to show us that. So I'm saying we're seeing what they want us to see because they need the fans to get passionate. Last season, we were so angry at Janet. Well, so tell me about that. So last season Janet was appeared through the editing to be going after Danny saying that he drinks a lot and then he had a drunken night. He touched somebody was handsy with a Jasmine who we first met on the bachelor when she was looking for a man.

She sensed falling in love with a woman. She fell in love with a woman who I don't think is featured in this video. People turn gay on the bachelor.

“Well, for Abby's Gabby and she's with Robbie, Huffman and who's hilarious.”

And there was one other girl that was on it. And then she was bisexual on the bachelor and paradise and got together with the girl. But I don't know what happened to her. So Janet, I didn't see it last season. I did see the scene where she's on a boat and accusing people and being. Yeah, she, you know, again, she used the wrong words in in this world of accused and she said she didn't say like me too, but she basically said like us all do you like us all to someone something like that a very strong word.

And that's it. We don't know we never saw it. So what happened was he was boozing and he made some sexual reference or court touched jazins, but in a funny drunk. I'm your friend manner.

But also somehow it was good because jazins was like, it really was it was uncomfortable, but also being a lesbian, having a fiance who's a woman being a girl who's in love with her. It like diminished, it kind of diminishes like where a guy doesn't really think that as a woman that you could be in love with another woman. So there was that element that was demeaning and then also just being sloppy and kind of touchy.

“We never saw it. It was brought up because it was never filmed. It was brought up as a storyline and and people at home, I think felt like was all right, you know, because he did reach out.”

He profusely apologized, but then Janet it appeared was on the track of trying to always point out like, you know, he came to meet them at like Lake Tahoe or something or someplace.

And he was coming back from doing like a voice over thing. And so the card drops them off, they've been drinking all day and he goes in the pantry and does like a shot of tequila. Yeah, and she saw it and she talked about it and it was like, well, I just wanted to catch up or do you have a drinking issue. Does he? Well, what I think what we're seeing now in this season is I think Mia put her foot down and was like, you're not drinking on camera, you're not drinking on camera. It made you look awful. You did these things. You look like a booser like we're not doing that. So we're going to be on the show you're not drinking and because he can't drink.

And these people actually aren't fun around to be aren't fun to be around unless you're drunk in my opinion. I mean, which is why shorts is ordering drinks at the fucking rollercoaster.

I love me some shorts. I mean, people are they have they drinking because these people aren't great friends. They finally have some fun away from their kid.

They want to get drunk and Danny can't. So what does he do? He's irritated. He's on edge. He needs a drink to take the edge off and he's nitpicking and being awful to Mia. To score at where he's telling her how he needs how she needs to do his wisdom for a drag thing, which by the way, we've already seen that inventor pump.

I watching this season. I like Janet. Is that just is that sacrilegious to know? I know I like Janet. I know her personally.

“I get it. I think, you know, whatever the Danny would it. Kirk going after Danny again. We don't know if the producers said, hey, bring that up again. Yep. If she chose to bring it up.”

And if that's all they ever showed, but she was persecuted by the fans last season. It seemed hard. People were asking for her head to be fired from the show, all that stuff. So I think she's probably sitting back on Tuesday nights or whenever this air is and is like Tuesday. Having a pretty nice time opening up her phone because he is coming off horribly. They have four kids.

She, her voice naturally sounds like she's on the verge of tears. Right. She's always like, well, it's really hard because I'm trying to breastfeed.

And I just wanted one bite of a burrito, but Danny was hoping to get a massage on a coffee and he didn't realize that I had the blanket. And he needed the blanket to swallow or so. Sometimes it's hard when you have four kids. That is spot on and a newcomer to the show, she's gorgeous. Why did he capture her and take her out to some cult like what we're, I'm not from here Santa Korea. Santa Korea is absolutely fine. Okay, but it really far from every. It's far from where they have to film.

That's third job. But it's a whole, another community that, you know, it's outside of a life so it has the better schools and get a cute home and, you know, if you don't like it there, though.

No, it's not as cool and you, you know, if you have your group of 10 friends and you're all doing the mommy shit, it probably would be fine.

But all her friends are here and she films a show is up, but they couldn't get that kind of a house.

“Right. Out where everyone else lives and they, and it's much safer and cleaner and all that. So is it okay that I like Janet?”

Yeah. I don't like Kristen. Okay. Definitely don't like Danny. I like Lacy and Jesse. Right. So then Jesse gets this new girl, Lacy. Yeah. And she's coming off great and, you know, before when they all said, oh, she's pulling a, she wants a season to assist so that we can't talk about it. I totally understand why. Because if she's not on the show, she doesn't want you to do it.

Mom, name out of your mouth. Yeah. She doesn't want you to do confessionals about her when she can't defend herself.

And then also she didn't want to be on the show because they were newly dating and she didn't want to look thirsty. Now, I also met her personally and she was lovely, but I didn't really know her deal. And now I watch from the show and I'm like, I like her. And I like when she, when he told the little girl to like do a dance or something. I don't make her do that. Like, she doesn't want to do it. Don't ask her. And I don't think I think a lot of people at home realized like, oh, wow. That is a good parenting thing. I should probably take on and I don't think about that.

I don't know that I'd be sitting here today across from you. If my parents didn't make me perform for free. Okay. Every time they had someone come over, my dad would be like, Oh, great. And Shannon, I would come out and we would sing. She'd be late there, right? Like 15 minutes. No, maybe. But I would come out and we would have to sing for the cocktail party. Sing for your supper. I would have to sing, you know, the subtle come out tomorrow and how to love that.

I have a great story like that. So it was when Greece came out because of a hundred years old. And I had just seen the movie and we were at a holiday dinner. Yeah. And my parents were different than yours, Heather. They wanted me to shut the F up. Okay. And maybe I wouldn't be here today if they hadn't said it because now I need even more attention. Yeah. But I get up in front of the old grandparents and the aunts and I'm going to cut out.

I think there was neighbors there. And I start singing. And I was all of, I don't know, ten years old. Look at me. I'm Sandra D. Lousy with virginity. And my dad pulls me. I had a night count on me. Would you ever have a kid at a dinner? And I failed with a night count on me. Why was I wearing a night count? And pulls me by my night count in the kitchen. You can't sing that. And I didn't know why.

Well, I was going to do. We were going to try out for this like, I can see why he said that. I had a similar thing happened. So at my all-girl high school, we were going to do a talent show.

“Okay. And you had to audition for it. And you remember that group that like, I think Prince put together those three girls.”

Oh, yeah. I had to be like, um, sex shooter, shooting love in your whole direction. So I listened to the tape. Oh, no.

And my dad sees the yellow pad and reads the words. Thank God.

And he's like, you could not do this.

“And I was like, what? This is whatever they're called. I forgot the name of it.”

Six nickies. Well, uh, something sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something sick. Yeah, we're hot. Yeah. And so it was in my sister Shannon. Our friend Lucy was in between our grade. And me. So what you're doing? Um, we, I had like three acts that I was going to do. There was going to be a whole talent show that happened. And I, my senior year, I did eight like stand-up act. I did a scene thing. I did like a group dance. And I did a sketch.

And then, okay, Miss America. No, then they canceled. They said the music teacher said, "We're not going to have a talent show this year." And we're like, "Why?" And he goes,

"One person's in four of the seven bits." So no, we're not doing it.

If you guys can't believe that, I was so bummed. Like, that's all I wanted to do. If you could look at your set, if you can call that from that talent show, if you still have it, you stand by any of the materialists. Yeah. And one was like an impression. And I, looking back, it probably wasn't okay that I was going to do it, but it was teacher. See, that's not fair, though, because it was, you loved her. It was an almost love,

got to do, got to do with it. I wasn't her like in pain and like kind of, no, not like head, no. It was from like her hot video that I watched. She's hot.

“But there's so many, what if sin life? What if I had started this podcast even five years earlier than I had now?”

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I was like, "Wow, this is a shocking."

“I know, people just ask, "I don't feel like you like to share."”

I'm a person on the course, I don't talk with New Jersey. I don't like it. I don't like the state. I don't like the-- Where do you live?

Philly. Don't tell me it's New Jersey, but it's really close. Okay. I don't like the fashion. I don't like their homes.

I don't like their accent. I don't like the drama. I do love me, Marge. Okay, well, she's not coming back. I know.

And I'm happy because I think she's better than that. Okay. And my least favorite housewife of all time is Tresi Ducchi, Ducchi Chai. I don't find her absence of brain cells, cute or funny. I think she's mean.

I don't believe a word out of her mouth. I'm Team Melissa. But it's just not a show that gets me that I feel-- I want to-- Listen, I don't need to watch a reality series where the homes

are more beautiful than mine. The people are more fancy, more fabulous. You don't need to. I don't. I want to be transported into some shit that I can't even relate to.

Do you want to be better than your life or worse than your better? Better. I know. I like the drama. Don't get me wrong.

But I don't need to be looking at their dated kitchens. And their, you know, down the street, Mary Garland fashion. Well, anyone know what Mary Garland is? Is that like a--

I just don't.

“I want to be able to-- that's why I still love Beverly Hills.”

Because at least I'm seeing some nice things. And the things they fight about on New Jersey, I think are stupid. Yeah. You don't-- I don't feel it.

I mean, I feel like it's a different thing. I feel like it's really relatable in that. They're-- it started with family. And it still has family. And I think that the family--

It's a different type of show. It's about family. By the way, Heather, I don't like family. And sure enough, when you work with your family, it never goes well.

Well, the reason Beverly Hills to me is-- Love me some Beverly Hills. It's still-- if I-- God came down and said, there's only one bravo show that you can ever watch over and over and over again.

All the rest are getting removed. I would choose Beverly Hills. So I would choose a two-- I'd be nervous because there's others I love more right now. But long-term-- long-term to start from the beginning.

Yeah. And go and around. Because one is I am a L.A. girl. Yeah. I love L.A. I love the weather.

I love-- so visually--

I never cared about, like, Dallas being a backdrop

or even Atlanta being a backdrop or agency. Like, those are just those backdrops that the city don't do anything for me. The women can be compelling. The story can be compelling. Come and go.

But with Beverly Hills, you have real-- real L.A. Hollywood industry people. Yeah. And then, on top of it, you have the history of Kyle Kathy Kim when it started.

There's nothing better. It was nothing better than that. And then-- And then there's history-- even not a slower season that someone would argue

that they're to read in the Kyle's. It's still-- I still feel all of them bring a lot. I just had bows on the show and I really liked her. I was sustaining.

And I had someone-- as someone did a little review of it on their TikTok. And they were like, "I didn't like her until I heard her on her at the McDonald show." And I do find her fun and interesting.

Yeah. So again, like, they can all come back. I don't know how Amanda will fit into the next-- Heather. Heather.

I like her. I don't think she's a good housewife. Yeah. I like her. Yeah.

I don't think there's anything wrong with what she's doing. I think she's kind of brilliant. I just don't think she like fits in. She's relationship wise. I don't think she's coming back.

I don't think any decisions been made. Right. But I feel my gut is. And so I-- My Roman Empire--

Yeah. Thinking about nachos-- Yeah. Sunscreen.

I'm always looking for the best kind of say.

And Erica Jane. Yeah. God, I just find her to be the perfect reality star. Period. Yeah.

Queen. Thoughts on Erica.

“I really think her story is fascinating.”

Yes. When I read her book, I was very disappointed. Yes. Absolutely no jucing it. Nothing.

I still think it would be great to have her come and sit down here on just a scoop and answer the questions I have, which are nothing incriminating.

I am not out to incriminator. Have her lose her lawsuit. The things that I would like to ask Erica are. So you meet Tom Girardi, okay? You have a decent relationship with your ex husband.

And you decide the ex husband is going to raise the child in New York. Pretty controversial for that time. Very. Obviously, it all worked out. You still have a great relationship with your son.

I was always thinking that when she would get her bad season, which she never got

dying to hear this, I always thought season two of her or three, some bitch has got to bring that out. And they never did. Maybe they did. And maybe she was like, oh, you're not going to. Because she did frequent people did bring up the son.

And later in the cop park, the cop park where that was so weird with Elaine Davidson. But I just thought.

“Because I remember I was interviewing her and I said, okay, and then you know, she's very at this point.”

She'd only found the show one season. So she's very holding back. And it was when I did the podcast, we weren't even filming it back then. And she still brought three people for the photo. She had a hair guy, a makeup person, and the wardrobe person to be her.

And all lovely. Okay, sat down. Did answer everything. But I said, to tell me, so you meet Tom Girardi and tells me how she meets him. And you know, moved in with like, in her toy to sell it kind of like a back close.

I don't know. a luggage for. - Sure. - Moved in with him and then one day he's like, "Hey, let's get, we're getting married today. My friend, the judge will be the person or something."

And they got married on like the eight toll of like, whatever some country club. And I go so who is there, just the two of you and your son and she goes, oh no, my son wasn't there. Now the son was a little boy. - Yeah.

- Was the mom there? And what I want to ask her is, this is what I'm guessing.

“And now I believe it was such a transactional relationship.”

- I don't know where. - That, you know, it was like living with your dad and I think he said, listen, you can buy whatever you want. - Oh, can I just-- - You can hop on a plane and visit your son, the son can come out here.

But I need a wife to be available to me. - I don't hate that. - I can't have you going to Little League doing all this stuff. I am not looking to father a five-year-old. And I think that also part of the package might have been,

she was really quite generous to the ex-husband. This is all me assuming to keep it nice, know that he had a great life in New York and everything. And maybe because she was already kind of living a separate life in LA, not being a day-to-date day-to-day mom,

it was okay for her. It was okay for her and it was okay for her son. Like I said, they have a great relationship today. A lot of dads don't have a day-to-day with their kid and turn out to still have a great adult relationship

“with their child providing they do it all right and everything.”

But I always thought, wow, how has that never been brought up

in like a bitchy moment? But I'm glad that they didn't do it 'cause it would have been a really bitchy fucked thing to say and they'd come back and come back and look at us now. Yeah, I have a great relationship with my son.

Now, the son never appears on TV, which totally is fine. Which is hot, kind of hot and she respects it, everything. But as a viewer, she's like, oh, my son loves my new boyfriend who's like the Navy SEAL. Yeah.

I wouldn't mind it when I did. I didn't mind it. Cook out. Cook out. Could I see him bring his girlfriend

and if she gets it off? Would it kill him? I mean, he's in the line of work that could kill him. This won't kill him. Right, I'm not mad at him for doing it.

And I'm just saying, she's still--

I don't care if we never see the boyfriend or the son.

I still want her on the show. I still find her interesting. I like her advice. I love that she's become this person. But there's those kinds of things.

I also would like to ask her. So now, you've been married to Taundraughty for a few years. And you're going to these high flute, fluten lawyers. Pasadena, which is the only old money town in LA. It's Pasadena.

OK, these people are snobby. That's not how the Erica grew up. Were these women mean to her? Were they nice to her? Did any of these other guys hit on her?

Like they didn't pretty woman. They're-- the book had no juice. Why didn't even read the book? Why did you book me today? We need to get Erica in this chair.

Every time I see her, she's very nice to me.

I always say, I know you're busy.

But there's so many rules with bravin' all that shit. But I don't know. I think there's so much more. This is the interview.

“I think there's so much more that she could share her.”

And she should share that part because we did see signs and symptoms of her not fitting in. And we would feel the same way. And he was an asshole. Yeah.

And she realized it now. Now that Erica plays. Yeah. And that's one of the many reasons I love her. Is that she could have gone the other way with being insecure and staying in the victim

role. And I think she rose. I mean, another person, Jennifer, Tilly. Well, can we talk about the dress for a second? Can I get one with your picture on it?

But only someone with her personality could get away with that. If Doree did it, the world would rip her apart. Of course. I mean, it's almost like sometimes when a drag queen does something, it's every woman is like, she's fabulous.

But if a woman actually dressed that, she makes you a man to hate it. Yeah. No. It's not okay. Yeah.

It's like, you know, you're a thirsty, annoying twat, right?

“But someone that doesn't like, of course, you should wear your face.”

Yeah. Because you're Jennifer Tilly and she's so likable. Now, she's someone that this has worked out perfectly for. She doesn't have kids.

We never see the boyfriend kind of like Carol Radswell, when she did the show and I

told her this because she's not having so much fun. I'm like, you're kind of lucky because you didn't, you didn't, you didn't ruin a family. You didn't ruin a marriage. You didn't hurt your kids.

It's like you just could go on and be yourself and so she could just go on and be herself. Is she a friend of her a total member? She's still a friend of, which is also a poster, someone who don't need a dollar. It's the perfect role.

It's a pivotal keeps irrelevant. I think she's just, she's doing some player filming something right now. So she's able to still be top of mine for someone that may have otherwise forgotten a matter. Of course, we would have.

And then she gets to have her fun and she's just sweet. She doesn't have to hide her money. No. She got it perfectly. She married someone who made a bunch of money.

She got really smart with her divorce and then when he died, they were still friendly. So it's like, she, when she has some $100,000 bag, no one's not about it, your dead ex husband left you that money. Well, she married to Bart Simpson, but she also is a brilliant poker player. Yes.

Let's not, let's give her some flowers for that. Yeah. In state. Very interesting woman. Yeah.

And I'm looking at the cast and I mean, you know where and you went to her party and I've never

gone. Kathy Hilton. What a moment. What a, what a once in a lifetime. I mean, she is, she should be protected at all cost.

She's a national treasure. I think she is great. You know, she too has two sons we never see or hear about. I don't know what they're doing. They're good looking.

And that's all fine. Yep.

“You know, like when I've been like, how many grand kids do you have now?”

She'll say all, you know, like a couple of the boys of Ed kids. But the only ones that count are the ones from Paris. Well, to me, but I think it's nice that, you know, Paris is one type of star. Nikki is really building her own brand. But Nikki mirrors a rock, a fella.

I mean, oh, they just have done great. And I root for them. Yeah. I want, I want really white people to get more money. Why do you think she was so angry at Kyle?

But for doing the short-lived show, American woman about their mother. Listen, we all have complicated relationships with moms. And Kathy's was very different than Kyle's. And if you're, I mean, Kathy's a little older, I think she's a different dad. It's, listen, it's a private thing.

Right. And Kathy doesn't put her dirty laundry out. And she felt like, why are you doing this? I have these great memories and not great memories. And I'm not putting it on blast.

I understand why she was angry. But I also understand it was proud that Kyle's like, but this is my story. Right. And the story of how that came about is Kyle went to like, so whole house or something, with a couple people, that's when she was fun.

That, they were like fans or something when she was still doing it. And they were just chatting. And she was just telling these fun stories about her mother. And they, she leaves. And then they called and they said, you know,

we actually think that'd make a great script to show. And I want you to meet these, whatever. And you can't blame her for being like, now I'm an executive producer of a script

It only went water two seasons or something.

I never really watched it.

I am very familiar with the book that you cannot buy anymore. Which is, it's the book about the Hilton's, so fans sent it to me. And it was written probably 20 years ago, Paris had already been famous. It is not flattering. I can't imagine.

Towards the mom and the men that she dated and what her aspirations were for her three daughters. And mom liked the drink, right? Yes, but also the mom, you know, was smart in the sense. It's to, there's two different kinds of moms, right?

My mom was the mom that was like, you get an education. And you make your own money, don't ever depend on a man. You won't need a man. You're going to this private school and you're going to go and be a star and be a successful person, whatever that is.

“That's how my mom, like, when my mom was young, her parents were like, sent her to this”

to live with her cousin who was only 20 because that's where a private all girl Catholic high school wasn't Chicago. And at that time, they were like, that's your smart. And that's the only way you're going to like have a career is if you go to this private school.

So those schools started to kind of like keep you from getting knocked up and just being a housewife like whatever. So then there's that kind of mom. This kind of mom was like, no, you're going to make it because you're going to marry the richest son of the richest man in LA mission accomplished.

And you are going to go for that. And you know what, it's just as easy to marry a rich man as it is to marry a poor man. And it was that kind of mentality. Basically in Kathy's case, it certainly has worked out. It sure is hell.

Yeah. I like seeing like their best buds and then together like 45 years, Kyle married this like Persian prince. Yeah. And who used to be hot?

The first one or we never talked about the breecio.

Oh, look at that. Right. She married the first husband. Yes. Right.

And had the first daughter fairer and that they seem to always have a decent relationship. Yeah. And they don't have a pot to piss it. He selling suits at a clothing store. They get their real estate license together.

And he starts working, then they start having kids. He starts working for the Hilton's and then like I said, it never works out when you work with family. Ever. I work with my family.

Well, that's one off, Heather. I don't know if it works out. Well, maybe it does. But for sure in and most case, there's bad blood. So what happened when you said what happened with the lawless story?

So the lawless story is, I guess she said on her podcast, that he DMed her, well, he did and said, let's get coffee. Yeah. That's all true. It did.

But then he was stopped and they said, tell us about this. And he goes, she's a liar. I don't think she's lying. What happened was he got win that she was recapping shows or whatever her podcast.

And I always say, the new thing to the TV show should be, I heard what you said about

me on your podcast. I mean, that's what it is. You just say it.

“You put it out there and then you have to like clean it up.”

Can we talk about someone right now and make it happen? Wait, let's finish this story. Yeah. But then think about it. Yeah, I'm going to say something about.

Okay. So then I think he heard and he reached out and he's like, hey, I heard what you said about beyond your podcast. Which is that he's a player or whatever he is. He goes, I'd like to clear it up or something either on the phone or we could get

a career. And it shows. So then that's what it is. So she's not lying per se. But why would you have to get a cup of coffee?

So okay. I had a peek at reach out to me once. No, because on my podcast, maybe two seasons ago, I said, you know, the 20 years apart, the reading peeking. You wrote me and he said, we are not 20 years apart.

We are seven and a half years apart. I don't blame him for reaching out to you, Heather. And I'm like, you are only seven and a half years older than Dorit. He goes Dorit's 47. This is like two years ago and I'm 56 or whatever it was or 50, whatever, seven years.

And I was like, wow, you look like older than that, but I was just like, wow, she looks a lot younger. But he was, but I, yeah, I got it wrong, you're not 20 years apart. You wouldn't like that if someone said you're, you know, no. So I kind of loved that he did it.

I wasn't offended.

“I liked that he corrected it and you like his accent, right?”

I powdered that he knew about it and I'm like, all right, like, you know, I like to read. I think he's fine too. Like I said, we now know everything, you know, that he drinks too much or doesn't.

Nobody is spending any money on the mortgage.

It was his job. There was the letter got lost in the mail. Whatever. Now it's ugly and we know it. And you're both adults who have filed for bankruptcy, you've opened businesses.

You've spent money. You're not 20 and 55, you're not Erica Jane, who doesn't know what's going on with her husband's business. At this point, this has happened before.

“You should have been able to figure out a financial plan and my priority would have been”

not to move. I would have done whatever it was to not my party would have been hiring a man to Francis. But hey, what was you do you want to talk about to get some progress? Let's, let's, let's who do I want to get the attention of?

I mean, listen, it's not popular and I'm in a minority now, but I still think

Craig Coniver's hot, well, why did he suddenly become unnecessary? Because I'm a southern charm expert. Because Paige, dumbed in, no, God, I have to teach you everything. I was just boots on the ground in Charleston and I hung out with Ms. Patricia. Yes.

And let me tell you something. She can't even get Craig to sleep with me. People don't like Craig because he is in fact a liar. Okay. What do you lie about?

Oh, he lies about everything. And because he acts different on camera, don't we all? But the end of the day, Heather, I just think he's hot looking. So what I'm going to say right now is Craig Coniver came on to me at Bravo Con, when we were alone in an elevator.

How? It didn't really happen, but I want him to hear it. And I want him, not as publicist, I want him to reach out and say that didn't happen the worry I'll be on your podcast. People just don't like him.

They think he's immature, they think he's, but I just, it's one of those people that he's not a fan favorite anymore, but I'm not fair weathered. What is it called? Fair weather fan? Yeah.

I just, I, I love me some Craig Coniver.

“Well, I remember when my heart of fluttered, okay?”

It was Bravo Con, the first one in New York, New York.

New York. Where you had to walk blocks to go to the three different spots, the old school. And I went to the spot where all these people had their booths. And I was with, so I went there and I'm walking through the booths. And I see Craig and Austin selling their sewing caps and sewing down selling.

I never met them. I didn't even cover Southern Charm that much. They knew who I was, both of them. And they go, have them. And I come over.

I got a free cap. Yeah, you did. Both tall and cute. Yeah. My type.

Yeah. Southern frat boy. Oh, hi. Yes. And I, I got it too for both of them.

And then when he was with Paige, I was at an event at Spago for like women in reality. TV or something like that. And Paige is adorable and I'd already had Hannah on my show and I know Hannah. And they, again, both came off to me very, very sweet and cute. I, but I knew from Hannah, yours back.

She did a show of mine and then we got a drink after without telling me too much. Like, okay, shake your head or whatever, like give me the, I was like, do you think they'll get married? And she was like, no, no. And they still say together like a year and a half after that.

So I was like, oh, so I wasn't surprised when they broke up. I wasn't surprised by their kind of dynamic on camera. Um, and I think part of that is just, you know, circumstances and also, you know, page success. And when you date at that age for a certain amount of years and you don't get engaged

for married by a certain amount of time, that window becomes something where you're like, maybe I don't want this.

“Like, that's why guys, when they do find that girl, that's right, they do need to”

lock it down. They do. They need to lock it down because she'll change your mind. But he wasn't going to be able to lock her down. She was a store rising.

And what I didn't mention Heather is maybe Craig isn't right on alcohol. And maybe he got thrown out of Kyle and Amanda's wedding because of it. And maybe he's very mean on it. Maybe the last season of Southern charm, that's another reason they don't like them. But I, if he's over now, well, he said he was sober and then he started drinking, and

that was a big story line this past season. But I have to tell you, I don't know there's something about Craig's temper. I mean, I'm almost 60, if whatever turns me on turns me on, I don't want him hurting

But I don't mind a little out of control, Craig. Well, speaking of you, do we think, yes or no, allegedly? Okay. Do you think Jen Fessler got fingered by West? Over her pants?

Well, no. It would have to go under. I think it was an inappropriate flirtation. Okay. Okay.

I think that they didn't have real skin on skin and I believe they didn't have sex. My naïve Heather. I don't know her personally. I have met her and she was on my show. I think she seems likable and non-polarizing, just kind of like, you don't hate her.

You don't like go hard for her and write it down like she's just a normal woman that was pretty that met that knew the people in the group. Like I just kind of like, you know, and I'm sure she's intelligent like a decent friend. I, a who knows, someone would say, you know, whatever that is, they who attest to much whatever.

“I mean, I think I had someone once tell me this like manager guy goes, didn't you?”

Oh no. Oh, this was it. So what I was like, didn't you have a three-some with like, Sophia Garra, God would you be cooler? Did you just say yes?

Why would you just say yes?

I was like, that's amazing Heather.

That's the best room. She kind of did that. She kind of was like, I can't believe, you know, that anyone thinks that I would be Eskimo sisters with Sierra or whatever she said, but I just, I don't know. I think I think because maybe it was a little inappropriate or maybe there are phone calls

or DMs or something, flirting that happened, who knows, I don't think her husband cares. I think if she told him this stupid room was going around, I'm gonna squash it. He's probably like fine. Probably didn't listen to two cons on a zoom. He didn't even listen to that episode.

He doesn't even know what's going on and he doesn't care. And then because she is trying to stay relevant, she probably was like, I'm gonna make lemonade out of it. She is, listen, she was, she was very upset not to be cast again. She was writing off into the not sunset, but I would say who is getting, who's collateral

damage is her son. He doesn't find anything. I don't even know she had a son. That's how much I don't remember from the show. Yeah, yeah, she has a son and daughter, uh, New Jersey.

But I would say he's not finding a cute. It's embarrassing. The whole world's now.

“But I think it is job protest too much, you must be.”

But there's something about the way she's denying it that I'm believing. It may be my woman's instinct. But I would love it if I'm wrong. Gosh, what I love that. I, I don't know.

I think it's, I think it's possible and it all could be nothing. No, no, no. But he did how about that watch what happens. You see that when he says, you know, he says, if you slow, yeah, and he says, almost 60, and it was weird.

It was weird, but that's what I liked about it. Oh, didn't he did you think he was cute before this happened? No. Wow, I did. I feel so dirty.

That's okay. Yeah, I didn't.

Wait, how about I never liked Amanda Batula until this season?

Now you like her? No, no. At the beginning of the season, I started liking her. Oh, yeah. Yeah, my, because she felt sorry for her in your glad.

Well, because that a younger daughter sang, she's like the cool girl and she's beautiful

“and she dresses and calls me into her and wow, did I flip my way of thinking?”

I don't like Mandy. You know who I don't like also? Hmm. Well, I don't like all Radki's mom. I've made videos about that.

You see that episode? Good. Jesus. I don't know what you're trying to do. Tell me what, what's wrong with this mother and why should I have to really start

a mother? I come to her and a lindy and at the soft bar with no alcohol and she's like all in the Cameron, Lindsay's face, and Lindsay's like, I didn't marry your son because of this. Oh, oh, this is the reason that has launched.

We should look like it went well.

You gotta see that, but who I've definitely never liked.

I don't get why people like her, but people ride hard for his Lindsay. What is your feeling on Lindsay her? I don't want to pull a rap report here. I don't want to get in trouble.

It's not that I'm just like her. I just don't get the hype on Lindsay Hubbard. I think she's really pretty. I like good for her and what she's done, I love the cheese, a mother, I was always very curious.

I was shocked when they got together her and Carl. Yes. I always thought when he was a little bit heavier and he'd wear those white pants, I always thought he would end up with a boyfriend.

Yeah, I mean, to clear out there's, you know,

I don't think it's, I don't think it that's gonna happen.

“I heard one something, but it doesn't matter.”

I heard that about West T.D.

You never know, guys, younger guys that are horny,

they may dabble in the dick, they might dabble in the dick. I'm still, God, I don't even dabble in the dick anymore. I'm not really, I'm not really care. Why is it okay for women to make out with their sorority sister and do all that stuff?

But for some reason, guys, the minute they do a sword fight, they can't hang out with a girl again. I don't know. I know you were a big sorority girl 'cause you were cool like that like me.

When you look at the pictures on Facebook of your sorority sisters, now, there's none of those you're gonna do. Correct. I never did anybody.

I never kissed a girl, I never kissed a girl, I've never, even, anything like that. But if you had to pick one woman on Bravo to kiss, I know who I pick. I think I'd pick Sierra.

- Jam! - I mean, I just think jam. Her body and her skin, it's just like she's so perfect. And not only she immortal, she's a nurse. - So if you pass out from cardiac arrest for being with a woman for the first time,

you think it's gonna be that great. You're gonna have a heart attack.

“My God, Peter, what are you doing wrong?”

And you're tall and lanky like her, too. - Yeah, I just... - I'm just very, very attractive. But I'm just not attracted to women like that. - But she... - Don't you wonder who I would want to... - But wait, I want to go back to the little thing.

- She's just mean. I don't think she was mean. She had the... Okay, you thought she was mean to Carl? - I just think she's mean overall. I just, I don't like her energy.

- I mean, it's kind of interesting that a show where, you know, so many times, we rally around women. And we're like, I can't believe that, you know, you were with this man that crushed your dreams

and didn't believe in your crocheting or whatever. And we have two instances on some or house, where the women were bashing his D.J. aspirations. And she was bashing his his soft bar thing. And I listen, I kind of was on Lindsay's side, too.

I was like, I get it. And I think part of it was, you haven't taken this opportunity as being a television personality to make a business work.

I'm kind of getting turned off. Now we're getting married. And I don't want to fair our combined income into the hardest business on earth, a restaurant bar, sober or not, coffee house,

a real brick and mortar thing

that you've never really worked in.

- Wow. - It's not like your dad owned five restaurants.

“You know, I mean, that's why I think you're on the McDonalds.”

- That's where it minus. - So anyway. - So that, that was great. - Do you, are you McDonald money? - No.

- You get free happy meals? No, but I did, what does a little girl I was being bullied? Is your dad Ronald McDonald on my mom said, just say it, tell him your dad owns it? So I went back and like third grade,

I said my dad owns McDonald's. And then I went a little further. It's a great Catholic school. We didn't have a cafeteria, but every Wednesday, you could fill out a little form

and get a burger delivered to you. And I said, we donate all that. - So you lied and kept it. - I lied and I said, yeah. And I said, we donate all the hamburgers

and everything. - And it was two weeks I was the shit. - How did McDonald's get a little part? - A little shit came back to school and said, you're a liar.

My dad told me that the people that own McDonald's aren't even name McDonald's anymore. And it's a franchise, which means anybody could own a McDonald's. Or is it one person that owns McDonald's?

- What is little Heather, you were never little?

What does tall Heather say at that point? - I just said, oh God. I just said, okay, I was joking. - So I'm gonna have a frat party in college. I went to University of Georgia, go dogs.

- And this hot guy comes over right on the spot. Quick as I am. He says, what's your name? I'm like, Lori Rapp, it is Rapp. I'm like, it's like Seren Rapp.

Because that's your, I'm like him. Rapp is my family, we am that it's Seren Rapp. And he just kind of walked away and went to the keg. Is that true, though? - Yeah, I said that, but did you invest in that?

- No! - Oh, oh. - Do you think that Seren Rapp is a Rapp family? And they happen to do Rapp? - I don't know, but that was the one,

and I never lied again, because I figured-- - Heather, if a third-year grader can figure it out-- - You never lied again. - No, about McDonald's.

- Okay, about McDonald's. The third grader could figure it out and then you're, it's not a good lie. It's not a good lie. You're the crush on Seren Rapp?

- I can't believe-- - You want to have sex with Seren Rapp? - No, I don't have sex with her. You said, if I had to kiss someone, if I had to kiss someone,

you wouldn't be Jean-Fastler. - No. - 'Cause old women are-- - What? - What?

- Bravo, boy, would you kiss? 'Cause obviously, I would say Craig.

- You can't get in. - You can't get in.

- A Craig is pretty good.

- What do you just see? - Let's go through this. - Kyle, why do you think-- - I don't think so. - I don't think so.

- No, I don't think so. - No, do you think-- I like Tom Schwartz, but not-- I don't think I want to kiss him anymore. - Wait, what? - Cook, Heather, are you finding him?

Having a glow up and being hot now? - I like Kyle Cook, but to me, he's a little short for me, and I don't go for anything in the blonde family. - There's street signs that are short for you. How tall are you?

- I'm only like five, nine. But I am definitely gonna say-- I'm gonna say--

“I'm gonna say, I think Craig is the only one.”

- Yeah.

- I don't even think I'd want Austin.

- No, you don't want-- by the way, Craig and Austin aren't speaking to hate each other. Now, Wittner's a new guy who I've become friends with. - See that guy in the left, he's cute. - He's a Southern gentleman.

- Yeah, I like him. - But I've interviewed, I can't even think of his name. - He can't see from here. - You know, what's his name? - Shake your legs.

- Shake your legs. - You're not having a shape, you're not. - I are to be a chap, I am, listen, I like the show 'cause I'm attracted to that frat, boy, style, that he and Austin and Craig all share.

- So, I think, Chef went to my college. - Yeah.

- But, you know, he's old now, and he's not, you know.

- Yeah.

“- I'm gonna just, yeah, it's gonna have pre-cregged as well.”

- Yeah. - And so I have a question for you. - Yeah. - What is your favorite reality TV show right now? They don't have to be Bravo.

Like, what just makes you smile and you can't stop, just hearing the theme. - I mean, it's gonna have to be real house as Beverly Hills and it's not on anymore anymore right now. - It's not.

- But that would have to be it. That I'd be the most excited. I watched it on PKK the day after, so I'm like, oh, good, you know, it's Friday, and I have a few shows to watch it.

- You wish it was on all year every day. - I don't know if I even love it that much. - But it makes you happy. - But yeah, if I have to pick one, I'm like more into script,

it shows a little bit right now. - Yeah. - I'm sad that the comeback is over. - That was great. You know, there's just certain things,

but I feel like that is a little quirky and something for everybody. So, that's what we're at. We'll tell everybody, you know,

“where they can enjoy more of your fabulous hot takes”

and humor. - Well, you could find me. - I'm a TikToker, I'm an Instagrammer. I do a little entertainment reporting for us weekly, and I have a podcast called Juicy Scoopy.

- Is that bothering you? - There's a while in the end. - Why do you? - Juicy Scoopy. - Fan or fanatic. - By the way, fucking hilarious.

- Right. - I'd love you, Heather. - Juicy Scoopy just is trademarked. - I know. - But there's a lot of things that have the word Juicy in it.

- A lot of things that have the scoop in it. - But you cannot take a scoop out of it. - You can take Juicy Scoopy. - I love it. What I see like, one time Melissa Gorga's like,

"Oh, give me the Juicy Scoopy." I love that it's in people's vernacular. You just can't call your podcast that or we're sure with it. But that is really funny that you just said that. - Yeah. - And I loved being illegal.

- Yeah. - And we will go after you, my team. This has been fun. I like that. - It's so fun. - I love that you came out and we'll have to do it again sometime.

- And that's great. - Yeah. - That's great. Queen Heather, love you. - I love you so much. - Thank you.