Episode 664: Robots from Space

That's one of the cannonballs I started. I'm excited for today. Why? Because we get to cover something serious. It's been so long since we have. Are we finally covering cancer?

Yes. I mean, talk about numbers. Honestly, I'm talking about heavy hitters. It's real heavy hitters. It can push numbers.

In many ways, I think cancer should be the fourth head on the Mount Rushmore of people. Wow, just all cancers. Just cancer. Every cancer. Yeah.

All right, just cancer in general. Sure. I'm going to do the heads keep regenerating and regenerating and regenerating.

“You have to go back every six months and check.”

All right, fine. I'll do it. Wow, I learned everything there is to know about cancer. You know, then you'll be a doctor. Yeah.

I always wanted to be a doctor.

This is how I can do it. One of my bucket list items was to be an oncologist. Really? Yeah. That's your bucket list.

Yeah. See? I got to see the pyramids become an oncologist. I have to learn to bake bread. See the pyramids the second time.

Yeah. And then I'm allowed to commit suicide. Really? Yeah. Did you see?

I always mind. Stormer cockpit. Wow. And even we can do that this week when we're on our way out of town. This episode today is truly special.

It's led by me. Yeah, it is. It's done. Welcome to last podcast on the left.

Ladies and gentlemen, by the way.

My name is Marcus Parks. Thank you, Marcus. Here with our leader for the day. Henry Zabraski. Fuck you.

Man who's been. I haven't even been into engineering lately. You've been into Nolan like how things work, the nuts and bolts. You know me as it were. The cross and teas dot nies, detail oriented mother fucker.

Yes, you are. Yes, certainly not broad shrugs big time ideas, guys.

“I'm very much in the weeds, get in granular and that's what we're doing today.”

And speaking of granular, Ed Larsson's covered in crumbs. How you doing? I wish. I actually by breakfast was yogurt. So if I'm covered in crumbs.

I don't know how that happens. It's came out of your beard. Yeah. So that's dangerous. Today starts with this is something specials.

One of my favorite aspects of the capital P phenomena is the diversity of its populace. And it's just true. Because much like Q Gardens, the universe is filled with an unlimited amount of species willing to sell you duck embryos as an order. You love it.

It's quite good. Because when you got a contact in the desert, it's like 99% white except for the white guys that dressed like black guys and the white guys that dressed like Indian guys. Yes, you're right. You're right.

How many types of alien we encounter? Normally in CE3s and CE4s are some most of our audience close encounters. Do you mean that's the CE3 and CE4? Thank you. This is my fucking episode.

It's my fucking episode. And it's not an organized true crime wall. Not even everyone in the room knew what you were talking about. Well, we'll see right here. Right?

Because I do. Most of our audience can name off the top of their head. The large sampling of aliens we normally meet in encounters. Right? 3PO.

We're deaf. You're getting ahead of the goddamn story. So we got the grace. Tall grace. Tall whites.

Nordics. The draconians. Pladians. Bigfoot. Floating orbs.

Energy beings. There's tiny blue guys. Completely clear guys. An aliens with huge tits and huge fucking great abuts that we have covered them all. We know that that exists.

We do because of the guy that painted all the paintings of the gray alien that he lost his virginity to who had you. David Huggins. David Huggins. That alien was.

Yeah. So a guy who drew the big tidbit aliens last time was Huggins. His name was Huggins actually. I have one of his paintings in my office. Oh.

I have it's a print. But it's beautiful. It's better than being fuckins. He named David Fuckins. Fantastic a documentary called Love and Sausers about David Huggins.

It's really good. Yeah. And a great soundtrack too. But now we cover today what I really considered to be the red-headed stepchild of all of the aliens and the whole goddamn world.

And this is surprising to me.

I had never thought about this before.

It's true. And counters with the robot. The robot. The robots. Yeah.

“The only way to properly pronounce robots in today's episode is to call them robots.”

These are very much robots. Yes. Yeah. Robots to me. It's different than a robot.

Right? A robot is something you see around. And it's very, like I would put it like very much from the Jetsons style the made.

Okay. But a robot. Which is what we're seeing here today. That's more like the food delivery guys. But with shooting white clouds of gas, it will knock you out.

I mean, that I would get more behind if it did. Wouldn't that be fuckin' cool? Yeah. But see robots are, people are, don't ever really talk about these experiences because I think it's due to fear of ridicule.

But I pass it. There are seeds of truth. And every encounter with a 1950 style beat boom, metal robot alien. Yes. Every encounter that we will cover today will involve a lost in space, aluminum, tube,

armed, really gig capped, automaton, who speaks and letters and gestures. That's what we're covering. The tin man is here and he's taking your blood. These tales are about the highest of high strangeness, truly outliers in a world of unique experience.

It really surprised me when you brought up the alien robot idea.

I never thought that there should be far more robots in alien lore than there is.

You'd think that if the aliens are coming or they'd send probes, they'd send, you know, advanced scouts, they'd send robots. These alien truth liars really fucked up here, correct? Here, correct. Now, robots, I also feel like because they are so strange, it's also, it's very regional.

And it really comes down to the psychic part of the event, as far as I'm concerned. Now, before we begin, I'd like to thank Joel and Rachel for helping to put together this

“extremely important and relevant topic, relevant to what?”

Robots. There are several sources here that I will list on the internet because most of them are magazines. They are magazines, they're thick magazines. And I've been getting back into magazines lately, you know, it's my dream to one day

publisher magazine. Oh, really? What do you call it? I mean, the working title right now is "Funt," but that's just, that's just a working "Funt" magazine.

I love "Funt." That's in "Gunts." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, "Tunts and Ammo." Have you had your field with "Funt?" I love "Tunts and Ammo." Yeah, "Funt and Ammo" is "Funt." Oh, here we go.

Our first tale of Robert Terror is the abduction of Antonio la Rubia.

Sometime between 2.12 and 2.20 a.m. exactly. On September 15th, 1977, Antonio is driving home from his job as a bus driver and the outskirts of the tranquil beach city of Pascencia, Brazil. When he saw an unusual object in the field, Antonio would estimate the craft to be over 230 feet long, who was a dull gray, shaped like a bucket at.

I can all time be bucket at?

“I think they've always been the same shape.”

No, Antonio La Rubia, he's the radio personality that got caught taking upskirt photos. Was that his second life? I don't know what he did after this abduction. This object was so alien to Antonio, scared him half to death.

They're pulling over to see if he indeed was seen what he was seeing, he felt intense fear. He bolted away from the object in the field, but suddenly found himself immobilized by a bright blue light. Mysteriously, what is described as an electric pole appeared before him. He called it an electric pole. All of this is being translated loosely from Portuguese.

Okay. So when he says certain things, you're like, okay, so when it says that when Antonio says a mysterious electric pole appeared in front of him, that's all I can really comment upon. Gotcha. So Antonio, with the alien a stripper, we'll get there.

You'll see Mr. the tired counter, it might get a little sexy or not. Antonio was unable to move or speak. You know, the Brazilians do get sex here with the other story that we talked about in which a man had sex with an alien multiple multiple times, also came from Brazile. Really?

I think they're hornier.

“I don't want to like, shred up war with the aliens too, right?”

Yes, there was attacks. That was a shockfully famously covered, all of his, like, he covered all. They're very aggressive in Brazile. He murdering. Here is.

He had to careful. Over the robots. Soon realized, as he was immobilized, that he was surrounded by three or four, but for lack of a better term, robots. They were around four feet tall with nearly featureless metal football shaped heads that

were spinning in tennis, sprouting from its tip. For eyeballs, they had a reflective strip. No next. Body shaped like an oval plated with dull aluminum scales with two arms that came to points.

For your viewing pleasure, this is Antonio's witness depiction. Please, boys, describe it.

I feel like I could draw it better, even though I've never seen it.

I don't even know what's very scary. I would say that the bottom structure looks like a barber chair, the clothes that a barber chair is on, and the top of it is kind of in the shape of a magneto's helmet.

Yeah, this is a better renderer.

This is a rendering. This is a rendering. Someone did a 3D rendering of it.

“But it looks like someone just took the top half of a corpse of an alien and put it on”

a stick. Who knows? Like a little almond head, almond shaped head on the top with, and it actually has an old school antenna. That's why I like about it and add an antenna.

I guess it would make sense why would the aliens come here themselves when they could just send droids. Yeah. But of course, or are they already bio-mechanical machines that appear organic? So you think that the aliens are robots?

Well, find out. Next thing we know. And yes, Rob, you are right. It does kind of look like Tom Serba. It does look like Tom Serba.

It does look like Tom Serba.

But this is before Tom Serba. Yeah. Black from Northland. So Antonio was encased all of a sudden in a giant glass jar, as he floated helplessly as a gerkin.

The three robots smoothly floated towards his prone body. Antonio noticed they're so cold legs, a skinny pole with a foot on the end. And to do, they must be hover sticks because not a single robot, oh, gode.

“I think that's what he thought that they would bounce, but when they just slid towards him,”

it frightened him. Hover sticks. That sounds like a great, like that sounds like a drug slang. That's what I want. Yeah.

That's what I had last night. Y'all already fucking smoke a hover stick. That's a good future drug, and it just makes you float like six inches for like 20 minutes. No. No.

I'm supposed to go to the bite because I'm looking spin class.

So one of the robots extended an appendage towards Antonio. He saw that instead of a hand at the end of the tapered arm, there was a syringe-like needle. The robot crept closer with his needle hands. When the scene suddenly changed, Antonio found himself and his robot junky companions inside

the UFO. Cause the needle. He was in a glass jar in the middle of a field, and now he's in a UFO. Yeah, it was in UFO. There's a lot of this in this episode.

Outside of the glass jar. He's no longer in the glass jar. No, okay. How is he's been transported? Sure.

Is this an Antonio board game? Yeah. How would he be much better?

“And one of those robots would be a jar gentle looking to steal his life force.”

I thought so would say how there was a meme about him and it's like, oh, he had life figured out. I'm like, he couldn't suicide. Well, he did. Yeah, it's ready.

He chose his way out. Just like our hero Jeffrey Epstein. So he could feel the crap. He made Sandwell. Thank you.

So he could feel the craft lift off and he suddenly got nauseated. The walls were translucent, too, and provided a view of their senses of the clouds. That's when Antonio was bombarded by blue lights. And he found himself in the UFO's business center. Antonio came into a large circular room, only to see that he was surrounded again.

Two dozen robot aliens lined the walls of the chamber, standing in stark, toaster-like silence. He regained the ability to speak and shouted at the alien robots. Okay, Vaseclair. Climb.

Vasec. What do you want? I don't know how to speak Portuguese. That is cool. I think it's cool.

Okay, Vaseclair. Climb. What do you want? Who are you? And the power of his Portuguese offence was too much for them.

Just the strength of his yelling, knock the two dozen alien robots to the ground. Now, this was a piss them off or something, because Antonio was in zap with the disorienting wall lights again. The robot aliens can rose from the floor of the craft and began to breathe loudly. This scared Antonio because in his own words, "Hey, what a robot's breath!"

In what world would it go about? So glad you're doing this correct. And a blink of an eye. Just got it. Sort of my father.

I think you could hear him right. And a blink of an eye. The alien robots pointed their needle heads at their headspinnies and made them hard. They were spinning in and they got hard. Okay.

So spin in and became spoon-like. Antonio specifically said, "Like a teaspoon." Maybe in hindsight, this was some form of truce offered from the robot aliens, because that's when they decided to show him some dirty movies. Oh.

Needles and spoons go together. Yeah. If you look at your Leonard's kinder. Yep. And they'll eat sugar vermellis and trance.

A box materialized in front of Antonio. Six inches wide, standing on two poles about five feet high. So exact. It had in ten days sticking out of it in piano keys on its side like a transistor recording. The alien robots glided over and begin to fudge with syringes and belt sticking out of the

side of the stupid television. Then images began to appear. Humans love phonographies. Show him vapournography.

Show him the pornography.

“And we put my hover stick inside of you.”

Oh. You like it too much. So Antonio first saw a video of himself vomiting and shitting himself. Now according to you, fall just Iran Granchi, who interviewed Antonio to capture this encounter for all time, Antonio insisted, no matter what it was shown on the video.

He never once shat himself.

He wanted it to be clear, never once during this encounter did he ever shit himself. Everything else that happened. Absolutely true. But it is true that he saw video of himself shitting and vomiting and shitting himself.

How did he know that he was shitting was there a close-up on his pants seat and suddenly turned brown and wet?

“All it's saying is the alien showed him a video of him vomiting and shitting himself.”

I'm so good. I'm pretty certain it's like a hammer goes through six as his pants filled with shit. That's how I'd imagine it. It's a very shaggy. It wasn't me.

Yeah. I would not do it. No. I would not do it. I would not do it.

I would not do it. shit on the floor. Maybe on the video, maybe he said like oh my I am shooting my pants. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and everybody get away from me. I am as she think my pain Usually that you are shooting your pants with video. I did nothing. I really not do shit with my banks So the real chat every month's a dog You'll chat more than any other human we have abducted came in data

Always deny everything. Oh always deny

The robin aliens use a device then to forcefully raise Antonio's arm This is when they use their needle tips the suck blood and a very top of his middle finger Alien robin doctor did a test on his blood by spraying it on the walls Using his needle hands filled with blood. He drew three red circles on the wall of the craft and then traced Nails inside so they look like pie charts. It seemed to be good news. Oh you got three L

Put like a needle thumbs up Antonio was presented with the screen again. This is when at La Hundra, Jelorowski movie starting Antonio made by the alien robits played on the projector So here's a series of images that were kind of like a moving Film slideshow. These are actually sort of beautiful. It's interesting. I really love the sequence I wanted to do this this someone should film this. Yeah

First was an image you try to make an alien movie

First was an image of Antonio nude on the table two real bad aliens were shining lights on his gentles It's second Antonio nude just standing there Third scene now Antonio was closed carrying an empty shopping bag His teeth chatter loudly I find it feel like him walking with bag and then cut too close up with his face going

And then the background you're like a world Yeah, fourth scene horse and buggy slowly ambling down a dirt road a dirty barefooted Pettison in the driver's seat fifth cut. It's an orange ball and Antonio stands next to it Symbolism What a symbol six inch six image now the bulls blue

“An alien robit stands next to it. What does it mean?”

7th image a rabbit dog barks at one of the alien robits in reaction the robot alien melts from top to bottom Like porridge that's trippy as far as you know, right guys fucking awesome. I want to see this This is all very 1977 Yes, it is a body ready for all the stage ball. Oh yeah, no, I've actually bought a huge stack of old underground 70s comics back in Cincinnati They're all like this

Every time there's a sci-fi story. It's just it's this. Wow. It's fucking trippy. It's like an electric. It's cool You don't have to explain everything. No leave it hanging a image a high death landscape shot of an alien world In the center of the picture a giant UFO manufacturing plant staffed and populated by millions of the alien robits He saw three rows of UFOs in various stages of construction Hey guys, what's your business?

9th image a Japanese manufacturer trained popular in Brazil plow on his way through a tunnel Everything reminds me of her Over some reason and then the scenario came to an abrupt halt. Yeah, that's very jodorowski. Yes, traffic sucks Exactly and don't you felt a sensation of being thrown overboard and Tonyo Tripped out of the tron world and landed directly in the middle of the street around the corner from the

220m the exact time he was abducted. It's a he had been naked in the in the full time. It seemed

“Ah, it seemed yes. All right, and so basically he just had a little dream. No, be”

We'll do it and Tonyo look on the heavens. There you saw the large dark smooth bottom of the UFO flot up Until it was gone the vision of the craft rising was shared by a local town drunk Who's hold many other drifters about it in vain attempts for free rock cut whiskey. So they did have the actual scene We're like the drunk guy looks up go

It never throws away the ball I'm getting too old

And Tonyo did not tell his wife about the abduction. I wouldn't have my daughter still eyes National and He definitely didn't tell her about the powerpoint movie presentation of him shooting and inviting so he did not Did not shit myself for two days and Tonyo said his balls were loose and miserable still shit

“He continued to insist he would never shit himself”

Not only UFO not afterwards. He wanted that to be clear Yeah, they were losing mid or about but they were on the control but I still I told With his within the week and Tonyo needed to quit his job due to the increasing extremity of his illness He walked into work to quit when he told his boss he had difficulty breathing in a burning and itching on the inside of his body Eventually a nurse of the job site checked his temperature. He was running 103 degree fever

Take him feel better on Tonyo's boss had a fellow employee hit him with the hose outside This young man described in Tonyo going pale claiming his skin was green as grass But he said you have just been like why don't you go cool off the hose And Tonyo was just the beginning this is just at the beginning of a month long Debellating illness due to his encounter with the alien robot doctor filmmaker people who kidnapped him that day

Modern medicine failed this man. It does every alien up there. It does and Tonyo did go to the doctor And he did get tested and they had the gall to tell him he was physiologically and psychologically Normal

“This is why self advocacy and health care is so important”

Yeah, especially if you're a woman. Yes, presumably and Tonyo is now somewhere in good health He would be around 80 years old and I'm sure his bowels are in tip top shape now Every 80-year-old man we know Yeah, has full and total control over his balls and they are in love with them Depends

It's gonna like that. I just also want to know guys that our researchers and wonderful researchers They gave me so much context for a bunch of these different stories and I'll tell you what I fucking stripped it. Yeah, you took it all out. Wow. Yeah took all the context out. Wow Yeah, he was I'm not gonna get into the context of the next story because it would add 25 minutes to the show Sure, but how did it start? We'll see

Our next tale of encounters with cling-clank beat boot beings from outer space takes us through the iron curtain to the USSR and the riskis of all gone. Now, that's that's context gold mine right there. That's a dude. That's a lot of context

It's too much context time because basically ideas is that you know, it's some up and went through a period of time

Because communism was considered an atheist belief system as the wall was gonna come down and the systems were collapsing They were getting more interested in the paranormal and then Russia became like a hot spot for paranormal activity And a lot of that was fueled by the space the psychic arms race that we were doing with Russia Sure, all right. If you get kidnapped by a robot alien in Communist Russia, are you a fellow traveler? Interesting. Well, if I know

Actually don't understand that fellow traveler. That's a good communist term People who are like down with it. Come rad. It does a whole movie about What movie fell traveler? Oh wow. Yeah, it's right here. I'm sure good Well, I'm sure you guys were already guessing when I was gonna talk about the famous Varun. Yes, incident of September 27th, 1989 Yeah, everyone everybody knows

On the stay in uphological history a pack of children had a close encounter of the third kind with a craft in its inhabitants

Mechanical entities in the form of bronze human statues 10 children played outside at the railroad tracks in the zone by a local school When a pink glow overtook the gray Russian skies two-beather wasn't the hammer maniacs

A deep red ball about 10 feet around descended from the clouds. It circled the group and vanished

“The one girl allowed in the child gang Julia Shalakovah recounted that the ball of reappeared just a suddenly is at left”

And hovered above the tree line like it was waiting for them The tired broken Russian orphans grouped underneath the vessel and they could here Jordan the finest or rough Russian orphan style could you they could clearly see a hatch opening in the lower part of the ball And the humanoid in the opening Actually, that's more like the guy who feeds the orphans

Controls the ocean. Yeah, they could clearly see the hatch opening in the lower part of the ball in the humanoid in the opening That's all better

To the children's horror entities descended from the craft three-eyed human-like beings

They stood nine to ten feet tall and were dressed in a workman's uniform with the overalls were metallic silver and the boots Shiny gold a bronze disc was fashioned to their chest They were accompanying a humanoid robot that must have been built to resemble its organic handlers Imagine an actual living statue, but with joints and rivets Human statues, I didn't realize that living statues like I was like looking that up like street performer that acts like a statue

Mm-hmm, it's just human statue. Yeah. Yeah, I thought it would have like another like name. No, they don't talk. Yeah human statue Yeah, but just human statue. Yeah, what did you what would you think they would be called like something like like beggarnals

That's just good as any name. That could be for them. Yeah standard there guys bentels

On bentelmen, I'm gonna use that that from now on that human statue is a bentelman bentelman I'm gonna put it right on here

“You know the human statue thing doesn't really make sense because why they like do metallic skin?”

Yes, like their robots. We'll broaden their statues with their broad statues, but that silver ones that would be Silver statue rock That's who be marble. They're not silver. They're painted like marble. We're killing the audience All right The robotic disc man had no nose and in its place were two holes. It's metal eyes swiveled back and forth

And seven instead of moving it's neck to look at you his skin was made of bronze material his silver overalls and gold boots We're just his torso and feet cool all of the crew from the craft glowed in the dark The robots handlers turn towards each other and began to just circulate soon a shining triangle materialized in the air between them. The two disc men touched their robot friend and he activated now It doesn't say what happened when he activated but it terrified the children

So imagine it's like a Truly horrific I imagine when they turn on ed 209 in robocop and because Oh, yeah, terrified the children panic-stricken. They attempted to flee the rubits middle-eye stopped and Fixed itself on the center of the group. They froze in place instantly trapped in silence. Another actual like similar detail Disc man one produced a two foot long tube from behind his body and might have been inside his overalls

He brandished this poster tube contraption towards one of the railroad track urchins then magically the targeted egg vanished in the thin air The robot and his disc men bodyguards PAs abruptly shuffled back into the red ball now parked on the two-legged kickstand mode Dark red's feroid ship then lifted off the ground and shot into the sky Thankfully the disappeared boy rejoined the group immediately after We don't know nothing about him or anything gonna happen to him. He just disappeared and laughing and came back and no one asked them

No one thought to ask him a single question all right, so we have no idea what is Experience was like imagine that so that was the loss of Russian railroad balls

“I think that's why they've learned to keep the mouse shut and they like and you'll get some kind of gup”

If you don't get the good no those niche You almost niche All right But according to local party newspaper though a journalist happened to be on the scene of the visitation So he saw the whole thing

He said he said he's all right. This is where it came from he managed to get several pull quotes from the beans This entrap it from a purport or asked where were they from they responded in perfect Russian the constellation Libra red star our home one presumably in Russian Because they are from Libra they embrace diplomacy and balance, but they tend to avoid conflict looking at you famed Libra Bruno Mars

The journalist followed up with with what's so there you say in Bruno Mars is difficult

“He's a gambler. He's got a good bit of a game with problem”

Well, he doesn't want to face got problem facing conflict. Oh, why as you favor diplomacy and balance, okay There's a Libra's crutch The journalist I then guess he followed up with will you take me back to your home planet because I guess he would have chosen Intergalactic slavery or delivering a vote. Yes Yeah, 1989 everyone's trying to get out of the U.S. S.

Discman one and two denied his desperate request. They replied to the report in the reporters native tongue There would be no return for you and it wouldn't be dangerous for us. You might bring thought back to you

Yeah, they might bring thought back to you. I mean yeah, I think he would there's a lot of thought back to you are going on here right now

Oh, yeah, I mean some thought fuck it did the anti back to real chip Anti-biotics. Thank you God dammit, I'm doing aliens The red ball in the documents were gone would not return but they left behind a palpable unease The children and adults on the pluriferous and that they felt intense fear for three days after the contact

It was the children of the Rosnelf the onion girls and the frozen gasoline runner boys That saw answers to what lay behind the experience they all share Just gasoline freeze. I don't know in Russia That's how they transport

“It's popsicles there. That's how they do they do they do they do they don't know how to taste what it's like”

Many were shut down immediately due to the stigma and encounter where they bronze robot with his disc men soldiers would bring up on their small week

Eastern European families the cries of these iron curtain youngsters finally cut through the din of criticism

The local party police did a deed launch a investigation and they found that all of the children repeated the same exact account down to the detail And when asked to draw what they saw to each child even the mutant Chernobyl child drew a circle on sticks with landing pads that looked just like an elephant's foot which they all knew from the coverage of Chernobyl Yeah, yeah, well, but was the elephant foot in like the did they talk about that at all until we rush it seems that they wouldn't I don't know man

I know, but the alien robots Okay, I throw stuff in here just sort of gas about what the kids might know or might not know all right. I'm so I don't even know if they have parents or not I assume their orphans because they're in Russia. You know what would help with that context But there's no context here ready Context less

“Now local party investigators surveyed the scene of the landing they found holes on the ground the shape and the size of elephant feet”

That must have been left by the crafts the landing gear also two strange red chunks of rock were found many believe them to be not of this earth Eventually everyone moved on and the Vernon you have encounter would be lost to the winds of time Even though this is arguably the biggest story to come out of the USSR in 1989 There's a big story no, no, I didn't know what overshadow Is that how Gorbachev got the mark

My grandfather had one of those really. Yeah. He's that he got it from a ceiling falling in on him in in it will work too But I know it's a lie. Yeah, he lied a lot. Yeah, Mongols got one of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was more common back in the day I haven't seen a wine stain in a long time in a bald man. Yeah, we're gonna bring them back you grow one It's only hopefully just like my bag Our final tale is the most mysterious the most action packed of all

This was the story of the attack on Donald Trump God, it's like a bush coming Coming thank you Donald Trump lived in Sacramento, California by the way a fireville Arkansas no, yeah, Arkansas. That's okay. It's the last but that's fine. I just wrote

I said the proper state. Oh, I said the proper state. I can cause AR. I don't care The fake state. We should just stop dissolved the states AR cancels This is not the home of the other famous experience or Chris blood, so the two difference the cities are different And they have nothing to do with each other Sacramento and Fayetteville Fayetteville, Arkansas Fayetteville North Carolina sure. Yeah, there's a lot of Fayetteville in America

Donald lived a life in pain sampled by scoliosis and ruined his plans to join the military Instead, he lent his talent in life to the aerospace industry with his job as a welder and painter The key here is even though Donald worked with space technology

buddies actually just been fired from their space jobs

“The counter took place over one long evening September 4th 2 to the 5th in the year 1964”

Shroom and his two buddies went to the Tahoe National Forest for some bow and arrow hunting. It's good forest. Yes For a kill and things in they were hunting and what used to be known as gold country The heart of the westward movement of America and it searched for freedom and easy money One interesting fact is that the area was saw also ridden with natural uranium deposits one of the known contributing factors to alien Abductions like a natural water source. Yeah, that's nice. It is interesting. There's a lot of uranium right now. Yes, let's go get it

Uranium fever. Let's go get it. Yeah. I think it's all gone now It's on a national forest well. I mean now we I guess we can yeah. Let's go take it up. Yeah. Thanks Trump more. All right

It's blown up. I want to shoot a beaver in the head

I want to die from uranium poisoning. Yeah, it's much better than dealing with the Libions. Yeah, no livin's So body I would say I want to do a prequel young Doc Brown. Yeah, it's great. Why can't we do it? Yeah, how did he get in contact with the Libyan? I should be young Doc Brown

“You should be will be like middle Doc Brown young Doc Brown's in the movie”

But young Doc Brown is not young in the movie. Do you know what I mean? I think it would be a young version of Doc Brown I think you're actually older now than Christopher Lloyd was when he filmed back to the future Yeah, he was in his 30s. You believe that. Let me fuck that shit every day is a fucking other Slip slide inch towards the casket isn't it Michael J. Fox has Parkinson's

That's what's wrong with them

Oh, he's 40s. He was 46. Oh, okay. He's still technically a young Doc Brown. I could play 40 So here we go. So the men split up looking for deer Eventually they went looking for deer on the night. Eventually dawn. He got lost in the ever increasing dark And he found himself trapped by a sheer cliff face All right, so he'd double back and he couldn't find anything else and it was getting who's losing all his precious daylight time

All right, and he knew he was in danger because that's the four-scot darker Night is the time for bears. Oh, yeah, woo, woo, the Z. And yes hot local coogers It's true staho. Yep, cool country The hide from the realm of predators don shimmyed up a 25 feet to the top of a pine tree You try to comfortably sleep amongst the needles

Around 9 p.m. a couple of hours after sunset dawn saw a light emerged from underneath the mountainous skyline It traveled from east to west and it oscillated up and down Initially dawn thought it might be a flashlight or even a helicopter already summoned by his friends looking for him Don quickly climbed down the tree thinking news about to be rescued. Don tried as hard as it could be noticed by this traveling light He'd let three small fires and waved his arms wildly trying to catch his attention

The lights suddenly stunned. It instantly zapped over to dawn's location and hovered Now, Don could see what the light actually was It was a matte black cigar shaped vehicle with panels lining its bottom and a singular light on its tip cigar shaped very common and was scared on the most was that the craft was entirely silent at a you taked on

“That's what scared me don't said I didn't hear any noise at all the light hover between two trees and just hung there”

And I was pretty sure was no helicopter you'd be right Because his friends couldn't give a fucking shit about it Immediately dawn knew you might be safer backup in the tree. He shimmed back up Irving silence still hoping the craft would simply leave It did not it's what the area around the tree and came to a stop hovering in front of dawn about 50 feet away

This is when Don realized the true size of the craft He estimated to be at least 150 feet long and could absorb the light around it He stared at the ship Eventually it's a middle panel on its wide body open and shot on a little ship Don told him a module and look like a tiny version of what he would describe as the mothership and remember

These are not in the lexicon at the time This is before the moon landing, okay, right? So the idea of modules He did not really like I guess he could have mocked maybe if heard it in his industry But it was not a thing yet the cigar shaped Like one module. Yeah any of these things. Okay cool the module scouted the area below the ship and eventually landed right near the spot

Where Don was hiding in the tree. He said it was also completely silent and a silver dome on top of it. The blanked A panel opened up on the scout ship and it released its inhabitants If I've a tall chunky bipedal creature approach Don's tree The little guy was wearing a one-piece silver uniform with bellows on his elbows and knees decorative bellows

Dom was pretty sure it was wearing goggles. I love working in uniforms on aliens

Yeah, and I want to make a line of

“Workman's uniforms for aliens that are metallic silver and gold. What are bellows exactly?”

I don't know what bellows are. I view in my mind. They're just like like pirates designs You know how like when you like on robot like in the lost space robot his whole arms and that kind of crunchy thing Yeah crunchy like slinky thing. It's that, but it's just decorations for elbows. Yeah cool. It's a designers choice I like it. I think it's fun. I think it's maybe maybe she got it from the Valentino or something danger David Robinson Danger, you remember

So now create your one was soon met by another identical alien

Don notice that they seem to be studying or gathering gathering samples of nearby brush and it's danger will Robinson David Robinson played for the spurs. I know The Avril They were particularly interested in the Monsanita, which is an evergreen shrub. Don gather they were intensely curious about their surroundings. Don stayed a silent as he could did not be noticed

“The two creatures worked their way towards Don's tree. He saw as they approached the bottom and they looked up at him. He said the eyes haunted and terrified him. They stared at him with their black dog like eyes”

Their faces were also flat and black. Don couldn't be sure if it was part of the helmet or their actual face Especially since the nose was lower than any humans was want to be The aliens admitted cool in noises like birds and commuted back and communicate it back and forth, but the mothership It would poop and who like owls and the ship would after back in the same manner Do you think his nose was low so we could smell his own balls

The aliens So the nose is right on top of my dick Yes, make sure you don't do a breath when you're taking a BP The aliens chose to ignore Don at this point. They focused on looking for something specific it became obvious

“They were directed by the sounds of the mothership the first two guys would eventually be joined by four more identical aliens”

They're all looking for something they can't find

Eventually the first two aliens circle back to dawn. He heard it intense flesh and noise coming from the brush nearby

And he was startled to see two huge flash light orange eyes emerge from the forest darkness And they illuminated with Don called a robot jaw The robot march towards Don's tree as it got closer He could see that it was in fact a row humanoid robot in a metallic suit and not one But two both were slightly shorter than the uniform aliens

The robots had no visible nose and a large hinge square jaws the robots had a human shape hands made of metal like a suit of armor or medieval gauntlet and of course Herkha jerky move. Yeah, they kind of remind me of the the robot in the more human than human video White zombie, you know the robot that was on the the cover of the CD after creep 2000 I had the other one with the super sexy sounds super sexy swinging sounds. Yeah. That's the one I had. Yeah. That was a good one Yeah, I wasn't allowed to purchase the elbow

The robot shuffle over the signal fires Don had lit. They stomped out the fires very firebad The mothership director the two evil robots towards Don and one of the robots moved its hands up to its square hinge jaw The robot's jaw opened and the cloud of white vapor sprayed out of its mouth woman got cloud the move towards Don It's the table. Oh, it's gisting up all night Don didn't smell anything. He gasped for breath and passed out within seconds. It was an indica

Don is now unconscious faithfully the way he positioned his hunting bow caught him before he felt it was death Afterwards, Don came to believe that he had interrupted the aliens doing some form of investigation None of they discovered don perhaps they were trying to kidnap him for their extraterrestrial zoo This whole game about gasing down. He passed out. He'd wake up minutes later. Stick it go on for the entire night

Don would wake up the robots would unhing this jaw a mid-a-gas cloud He'd knocked on out and then it's later. He'd wake back up and they tortured him this way for hours We used to do that as a kid. We did knock out. Okay. Yeah, yeah, don't do it at home. Yeah, yeah, I've got to have a spotter Brain damage. I don't remember much Now, Don knew he was gonna have to fight his way out

He'd take this Eddie. He was determined to use every means and his disposal to make it back to his wife Judy and his young daughter Donna and all he had was a

I know it's a big it's a thing. I don't know it's strong 2 Aliens of one of the robots had done surrounded Don figured shoot the rabbit. He's the one who's going to do the fighting Don aimed at let the arrow fly stuck the robot in the torso and went and did a big arc flash of light filled Dawn's vision This scattered the aliens the arrow pushed the robot back like ten feet. Nailing's followed suit They were surprised by the attack. Yeah, due to my years of research

I know it's probably because often firearms are not usable in the presence of UFOs And no one really tries to use a bow in arrow, but if aliens have been coming here forever They would have done a bow in arrow at some point. Oh, yeah, if the predator is real, which it is

“Then that's a documentary then yes at some point they would have had to run into some form of an or if we saw what's it pray?”

Yeah, that's the same thing that it runs us at some point. You're right Thank you for saying that no one ever said that Nice to hear I just got to say it's so good here Don get firing arrows to keep them at bay as you ran out of arrows

You was sure they would counter attack and they never retaliated, but they didn't leave

Don knew from the previous interaction. These guys didn't like fire He hatched a plan. He took out one of the seven books of matches. He's still in his pocket I'm gonna let it on fire. I was wondering how he could live those three fires so quickly earlier Hacks with packs of matches or some reason he threw it at the robot below which caused it to back away. Then he'd let his head on fire and threw it at the Huh? He noticed the more fires. He lit the higher the mother ship would float

He burned everything on his body down. It was pants and shoes Now that he was out of corticode ammo again the aliens re-approached. What is he wearing that's so flammable? No, he should be he kept climbing higher up the tree tying himself to the trunk with his belt

“Flammable belt. It's the only thing I have. It's man in a pure lead”

The aliens begin to climb up the trunk, but they couldn't reach the first branch He kept trying to boost the kept trying to boost each other up Like all the aliens like getting on each other's shoulders trying to force themselves up the tree Now put my foot there in your hands now I dissipate. I thought I'd get stew him. I'm so they're pissing on them

Proper blood filled man. You'll never beat a man

He also realized he could shake the tree from a top and they fall down Still they hit him with the gas again. He passed out and he woke back up in a panic still tied to the tree Was it? Yeah, he's been suspended. He threw everything he had in his pockets of the aliens. I thought he already burnt his clothes No, he is pants off his pants So he threw his change at the aliens and he barked at them like a coyote, which is the high pitch

The barks did nothing, but they did pick up the loose change and he that he threw at them when they pocketed it like it was a museum treasures. That's nice. They're like actually they let's do the discs All night if Don was inviting the robots they would keep knocking him out then they try to climb up to get them and he wake up and knocked him down the tree All night So they finally hit him with the biggest gas cloud of all so the heat and they had a big knockout the whole time. Oh, yeah

Don woke up The soaring it suspended from the tree by his belt He noticed the first few rays of the sun coming up over the mountain tops He also saw that the ship and it occupants Look on

He had survived a full 12 hours of close contact alien warfare Hold on You're gonna try to you're gonna try to shut you're gonna minimize this how big was the belt like when I have a belt There's only like a couple extra notches. That's not enough for an entire tree. That's true. He might have it might have been a rope

“He could have been skinny and too big of a bill that's what I'm gonna say”

Maybe you bought a backup belt. Oh, I don't want camping trips She must have opened 24/7. They can't even stay on me. Maybe need to be the belt for the ball-hunning Now sometimes they have the the pole Yes He saw trying to help. Yeah, I don't he again. I remove context for a reason. Yeah, I stripped it

I had to poke holes in it just like he did with his giant belt. Thank you

Captain no time self to the tree keep him safe for me. Oh, he always took kind of thought

He was gonna need to do this So he went down. He saw small footprints all over the area. He found remnants of everything. He had burned and thrown down He just read covered his bow his canteen two of his arrows one of which have been melted and the coins that he had thrown were gone

And none of their lives wherever the same

“According to Dom's wife, he was wide as a sheet. He walked as though he had walked for hundreds of miles”

Yeah, I like that you're doing it like Audrey from low up clothes, you know from I can be like boy his eyes with days He spoke to me in a very shaky voice He had dark circles under his eyes His arms were covered in pitch as with his pants and t-shirt He had small scratches all over his arms. He came in and he didn't even say hi hello anything

He sat down on a couch. He didn't proceed to tell me about his disco grove experience His hands shook and his voice was so tuned and very shaky He seemed so he was on the face of crying. I hate my wife For the rest of his days, Dom would remain traumatized He was sick for weeks after the encounter with an intense runny nose and chest pains

The check for radiation poisoning and found none He would wake up from a dead sleep screaming His eyes He would eventually grow to be completely afraid of the dog

Hmm, when he went hunting with friends, he would always return to the campfire as it got dark

Sometimes after the encounter, Dom and Judy moved up to Citrus Heights Dom and Vincent is wife Gloria It was a time to go camping over a duffy creek and when he evening at the camps, I'd dance and that's suddenly very quiet And they looked at at the ridge This is a strange light in the sky appeared and it's zoomed across the sky and disappeared

Follow by smaller strange light The followed the exact path is the first shooting stars Dom said he got a buzzing sound in his ears right before the UFOs appear He got the sense of where to look in the sky and later the night Vincent found on a way and holding his hand got Vincent dawn heard crackling crunching and walking sounds for the rest of the night and when daylight emerged

The back-up can't left Even though they were planning on another night camping He got scared Because he was clenching his gun in the middle of the night. He was listen dawn. I'm thinking we need to head back

“You need to go with what I go through. I forgot I I got a thing”

I got to I got to get to I am just I got a heart out of this camping trip right now I gotta go now what's funny is that this encounter It finally reached the local air force base that happened to be right Patterson. So two officers from right Patterson hearing all this was happening The met with John on September 25th, 1964 to interviewing The officer's tried to dissuade Don from believing in the encounter UFO Don showed the officers his melted rainbow colored arrowhead

That he shot at the alien robert the officer asked to take the arrow head back. We're going to take this get analyzed

Don agreed never got it back never heard from the guys again fucking jerks, right? Eventually the intelligence officers would state that at the end of their

Investigation this more likely the dawn was attacked by a group of quote Japanese Or any prank-loving metal teenagers That is literally what they said they're like well, most have been the Japanese In 1964 no idea why immediately they're just like huh

Robot people that's the Japanese Racism was still high back then By 64 maybe at least say Korean one of their huge gondom fans They could be that because I feel like anime when did when did met meca anime start Don't know that off at the top of my head. I would imagine guys Astro boy was in the early 60s

“I think you think that is super interventionage Japan animation or you have one sentence left in your googling shit”

1977

1963 was the first one. Oh, okay. So it was Jake and Toru robot

giant on tour. I love Jake and Toru. Wow, I nailed it However you slice it. I'm pretty sure after today's episode we know that alien robots are real and very dangerous But also they are cute and fun. Thank you I can not come slash last podcast on the left is where you can go see our stream. You can give us a little bit of cash for that or if you got a Netflix account You can see the wonderful performances from today

Acted out in real time And thank you so much for watching everybody who has made our Netflix series bonafide hit Really wonderful. They can go to LP on the left for all of the social media needs and you have I don't know what you have them

LP and romance to see the foreign report no dogs and space and over on LP and TV HX2 season 2

It is still rocking and rolling go check it out and also check it out for our new Line-up of BTM which will be coming out soon. Also It's got there go check out our brand new Halloween sound effects out fried Jansen's revolting repository of ghastly sounds volume one and two if you can still get it I don't think you can

“Newware comics check it out. Yeah, they might still have a cup. What's there?”

Also on YouTube the brighter sides on YouTube. Yeah, broke her side LPN go subscribe over there

And watch that spell up hungry hit in the road we're gonna be in Pittsburgh Steel city baby I'm excited main 29 Pittsburgh Pennsylvania Carnegie Music Hall of Oakland Saturday June 27 Grand Rapids Michigan GLC Live 20 Monroe

Friday July 17th Tulsa Oklahoma Cain's Ballroom and July 18th Oklahoma City Oklahoma the tower theater those at the last

Four shows of the JK Ultra Show. Yes, and then when you will come back with the new tour right after that

“Yeah, so stay tuned if you want to see that you got four more chances. There come out also”

I'm gonna be in Phoenix on June 7th with Amber Nelson and Julie Rosen over at the desert ridge improv Cool check me out there. It's gonna be a lot of fun. And by the time you get to Phoenix It's a four-hour song. Yep Hell sweet Satan everyone. Oh, I'll gain hail David Robinson. Yeah. Yeah, yeah

“They were obviously in all of the San Antonio spurs that we know and love. I'm looking for them. Yeah. Why not?”

Yeah, is that one guy? Robert ory? Robert ory? Yeah, no, it's Duncan. Tim Duncan. Yeah, that's the one I'm trying to think he's very good. Yeah Well, was now he's I'm sure he's still pretty good at basketball. I'm sure. Yeah, he's old. Yeah Certainly not a robot alien. Nope And don't check this blood. Nope, we're saying it right now Tim Duncan not a robot alien

We'll see David Robinson maybe