Episode 665: Florida Files - Pain in the Everglades

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Oh Lord, please do yourself right on this. On this here episode, please give us ourself right, Lord. Wooo! I feel the retention rates going from here. Oh Lord, we're gonna be sticky enough on, Lord. Oh, pray Lord, pray Lord, we keep them to the final quadrant, Lord.

Man, I wish I could play a big organ right now. Oh, yeah, welcome to last book as the level is in jail, man. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm a little bit of God's right hand, man. Henry's a brass kid, but I'm gonna stab him in the back for a piece of silver.

Yes, I am, reveal to be Judas. Oh, yes, I trick God, I try like I'd be his best friend and then I took the fish and then I fucking sold him the Italian. He had the balls, it stabbed him in the front.

“Honestly, I tell you what I never even believed that Jesus was a son of God and just thought he was full of fucking shit.”

If you look at the cross, if they took him off, he was, and man, who is in charge today. It's Ed Larson.

Larson's land episode, be successful, and be comparable to his other very successful episodes.

I got a good feeling about this one. Because today we're talking about pain. Good in the Everglades. Oh, yes. Have you had a cramp?

What happened to you? Jesus. Immediately. I got a cramp. You got a cramp?

The whole body? No. Maybe second. That's what you got here. That's a cramp.

Does he like wind? Wind? From your spirit? Is it Scott attacking you? No, my body's tired.

My body's tired. I don't like that scene in this thing which gentleman with the man says he has a cramp. And he has a heart attack and die. Shit man! Chlam!

Did you fart? No. Oh well. M-A-R-M. Back to our regular schedule programming.

Yes. That scene in the studio. There's pain in the Everglades. Today we're going down South, baby. I hope you're ready.

Have you guys ever been to the Everglades? No. No. It's crazy to me. You would love it actually.

Yeah, you think so?

“It's like the only thing that I think you would like about South Florida.”

Okay. Yeah. Is it just because it's beautiful? It is gorgeous. All right.

You know, I'm a big guest here. There's lots of, you know, a discreet. Because Suki Tribe is very cool down there. There's lots of great airboat rides you can go on. It's a beautiful time.

The sun sets, probably the best in the world, comparable. I'm extremely frightened of it. Oh, you should be. I don't know. Mostly have been in Miami.

Yes. But that's largely concrete in Maduos. I went to the Everglades with your sister. You fucker. Why, you know, you went without him.

Because you went there at the time for the Super Bowl. Yes, yeah. We went during the Super Bowl. I got this shirt and we went airboat riding. It was a lot of fun and Everglades national park.

But you lived. I lived very well because I didn't get off the fucking boat. So what if I told you that there was a place where Alligators and crocodiles coexisted in peace. I would say nice cop, you fucking, you cock.

I thought you'd probably say something to the effect of.

I didn't realize that they couldn't coexist in the first place.

I actually had no idea. Well, they can't. They're basically the crypts in the bloods. Okay.

“Remember the 1992 Watts truce where the red and blue they came together to stop the violence after the L.A. riots?”

Yeah. They said me in a negotiate. Yes. Well, this place is like that, except with alligators and crocodiles. I'm talking about a Florida fucking Everglades.

God, I love the Everglades. I grew up down there. I just, but the lake behind my house, the water was fed in from the Everglades. So it was just filled with water moccasins and gators. It was fucking really cool.

It's a great place to be. Now, I understand. It grown up and like you grew up in the Florida Everglades.

I grew up in West Texas, which is also very dangerous. Yeah. Yeah. Plenty of rattlesnakes everywhere. Lots of rattlesnakes in the Everglades.

Yeah. I would say you definitely. You have the danger over me. Oh, yes. We got all of these other animals and plus the people.

Yeah. I also grew up in the Italian American streets of Queens, New York City, and I'm to deal with the organized crime and stick ball. Gators and the sewers. Gators and the sewers gators on my feet because I was given shoes by the local mobster.

Now, I know crimson blood's weird way to introduce the topic. But the Everglades are a weird place.

Covering 1.5 million acres of wetland forest and marine habitats.

The Everglades are a great place to escape reality. Taking a perfect purple sunset over the saw grass and hide someone you just murdered.

“Whenever flow chair boat, you know what I'm saying?”

I like to hide bodies of the people I murdered. That's right, Henry. Let's say you murdered someone and let's pick a random city. Cincinnati. Great.

Yeah, we just were family there. You know, so what you're going to want to do with that pesky old corpses. You got a hop on the i75 South. Keep on driving. Go, go, go, go, go.

You hit the swap. No, must no fuss. Can I also give a bit of advice? Yeah, sure. Use a circular saw to cut around the joints, right?

First, you're going to want to cut all the meat around the joints. And then you're going to use a little or knife to actually work your way into the joint of the knee on both sides. You're going to want to take that off. You're going to want to take the arms off it to shoulder.

You're also probably going to want to take the head off at the neck. That's going to require a bigger saw because you're going to get to the meat that you get to the bone itself. And you're going to chop into the little spinal cord thing. And then you're slowly going to work the head back and forth to a pop soft.

I would then wrap those pieces in tarp. Put that in a giant cooler.

“Then drive that to the Everglades and then feed them piece by piece.”

Now we're going to get to it a little bit. I'm going to tell you why you're wrong and you're working too hard. Working way too hard work smarter not harder. You know as another example. Maybe you're a local self-fluority in a Dore Beach brod dude named Randy.

Red face to drive and drunk home from a flanagan. Wow. Like many Randy's do seven nights a week. Yeah.

Never knew a sober Randy.

Not one. By the way, when you visit flanagan, they got phenomenal wings. The ribs ain't nothing to turn your nose up out either. And don't sleep on those dolphins fingers. Hmm.

They let you keep the cup. Also flanagan, so that's a big Casey Anthony spot. Oh, I bet. Yeah. She do really well in a flanagan.

She does do very well in a flanagan. Do you know which one she goes to? I don't know but it's a regular. I mean she's welcomed. Casey Anthony is welcome at flanagan.

They don't give a fuck what you've done at flanagan. I'm pretty certain I've got a lot of messages that Casey Anthony has like a green girl group that sort of runs. I want to say it's the flanagan's a fort Lauderdale. There's a couple and four a lot of them.

Yeah. And so she runs like a mean girl clip that has to like people like she's

“like taking over the scene. Like you have to be in with Casey Anthony to get a good”

table. Yeah.

Anyway, so you're leaving flanagan's.

You're swerving and scooting. Listen in a buffets A1A album. It's fucking kicking. You know, all right. You pull into your gated community out west just past 441.

You wave hello to the Stoner gate guy. Yeah. You turn left while tear it up to a pirate looks at 40 and you clip a teenager on a scooter. Oopsie doodles.

Thanks for clipping me now. I don't have to go to home school. Yeah. Me screaming. He recognizes you.

He says Randy did you do this. I'm going to tell everyone you could spend the rest of your life in prison Randy. Yes. You grab a handful of community grass and you just jam it down his throat.

You pinch those silly stops moving. And all you hear is the course of green tree frogs while you realize your life is changed forever. It could happen to anyone. That's a buffets story. There's so many.

Scooter boys around. Uh-huh. See what? I think scooter men. The scooter adults.

What you're going to want to do in this situation is you're going to want to throw a ball cap on them. Stick them in the passenger seat. Take the car pool laying south. Swing a ride on all US 41 8k a alligator alley.

Ride that bitch to the radio stops working. No must no fuss. And shit. Miller's ailes house is open till Tuesday. You got some time to get some zingers at a night can.

Good. You're pretty short. Like a few bartenders. Stephanie is working a night. You've got to harass her anyway.

You have plugged more restaurants and bars than we have talked about dangers of the Everglades. Everglades saved the day again. Over 175 unsolved murders. My God. And is that 175 just bodies they've found murdered bodies?

Okay. Go.

We're just get lost and die.

Sure. Sure. These are murders that they know are murders. And they have no idea who did them because they left the body in the Everglades. Is there ever been a case of somebody so terminally ill that they would just lay down

and wait for an anaconda to take them? There's no anaconda in the Everglades. Just pythons and bow constrictors and those are relatively new. Interesting. Yeah.

I'm sure they'll show up one day though. Yeah. We do have an aisle crocodiles now though. So that's good. Yeah, well.

Wow. Yes. I guess the state in Florida is in the they're in the actually in the state of denile. Woo. And look at this.

You take in my role today. Yeah. That's really nice. You like that. You've moved the words around.

Yeah. That's great. I don't know that jump from a sticker. Listen. You ain't finding nobody dumped in the glades.

This area is perfect for making bodies disappear. Thanks to a number of environmental factors. Yeah.

First off, there's a terrain.

This thing spans 4,300 square miles and is visually repetitive. March, saw, grass, swamp, repeat.

“And what do we learn from the police detective that worked on the Rex Heurman case that I thought was really interesting?”

What? One of the one detail that they noticed more than anything when it comes to serial killers or organized crime members hiding bodies is that one key is no bends in the road. And no off ramps. You need a clear view all the way down. You need an empty with it.

You can go down and has a hidden area, which is what the Everglades is perfect for. How to get our alley, particularly. There's no gas station. Yes. It's like three hours.

Yeah. And you see, because the idea is that you want to be able to look a miles down the road in either way before you could see somebody coming. Oh, that's a serial killer's preferred spot. Yeah. Also, in the middle of the Everglades with the saw grass and everything, these conditions make bodies really hard to spot from an aircraft.

Which means rescue teams need to use air boats and waiting crews. And the quote, the great Kimberly Sweet Brown Wilkins ain't nobody got time for that. No. I mean, they pay them. But it's awful work.

It's awful work. Yeah. They don't know. I think a lot of times are actually volunteers. Oh, wow.

Yeah. If there's a disaster or something like that. I would not count on volunteers to find me. I really want professional guys. I don't think you get to choose.

Damn. Can I put it in my living room? Hey, honey. Hey, honey. Hey, honey.

Hey, honey. You know what? I could really see that be in your last room. I have this idea. Three words.

I have money. Hey. And then. Yeah. No.

I'm sorry. Do you like it? So here's why your cooler thing is so unnecessary. Henry, there's the also the water itself. Yeah.

The more fresh water of the Everglades provides an environment for bacteria to thrive, which helps accelerate the rate of decomposition. There's a whole scientific explanation with this with lots of big words, but to summarize, if the cracks and gators don't eat your body, your body will eat itself.

And the water will help you become human soup. Cool. Yeah. The word "sloth" is definitely going to apply here. Yeah.

When the sloth gets thick, the sloth gets goo. And the bodies that just don't decompose faster down there, they also decompose differently. See, the result is bodies that within 24 hours are almost unrecognizable to the naked eye. Thanks to, quote, skin slippage, tissue, softening, and severe bloating.

“Oh, is that what happened to Russell Crowe to default in there?”

He's holding out for way too long. Yeah. So anytime the water conditions sound like the side effects of an SSRI, that's probably going to be a bad side. You know what I'm saying?

Everglades may cause skin slippage tissue softening, and severe bloating. Ask your doctor if the Everglades are right for you. I totally won't. They weren't really kidding about the fucking just bloating. I'm full of water, man.

You know, it finally we get to the animals.

You know, I know we all picture an alligator eating a body the same way. Fancy candle lit dinner with a table with a napkin around. It's neck, fork and knife in each hand. Yeah, dude. I want him to have a wine pairing.

Yeah, I want him to be restaurant week. Yeah, but this ain't Tiam is by you adventure, man. It's real life. Okay. And in real life, they don't actually eat the whole body.

They bite at it and disfigure it and drag it and toss it to other gators. And then submerge you completely and put you under a rock and eat you a week later. They just generally anything that'll make it really hard to identify you. Yeah. It's fucking cool.

It is cool. I feel like alligators are like sea criminals. No.

“Are there any other scavengers out in the plenty of vultures?”

Yeah. There's lots of, you know, pretty much any. Stoppin' turtles, lead fuckin' anything.

Geodotics, cousins. Yes. And then the fish. The fish will straight up each you. Of course.

Yeah.

“Oh, so there's going to be a million ways for you guys.”

There's alligator guard, there's regular guard. And then like it's the only place where like at certain points you'll get like saltwater fish. So sometimes they'll find like bullsharks will make their way into the Everglades sometimes. Like it's because of bullshark as we learn from the attack in New Jersey, which one day I'll cover. But they can live in freshwater for up to two years.

Oh, wow. That snap and turtles are no slouch. There was a fucking scary in huge. Shows a girl who died in a, with some sort of like water tank. When I was a kid, it was like our local like mysterious death.

Yeah. And the snap and turtle's got to her and ate up that body pretty fast. Oh, yeah, yeah. They can fucking rip your toes off. Straight up like, you get bite of streary fingers. They're badass.

Yeah. They're very scary. They're huge. They'll get like this big. Yeah. No, we had snap and turtles around all over the place. Fly from Northland.

So the glades aren't just there for murderers to ditch bodies. Sometimes planes crash there and the bodies ditch themselves. So let me tell you about May 11th, 1996. Value jet flight 592. Now, before I get into it, I know the sounds like victim blaming.

But anyone who flies on something called value jet is kind of asking for trouble. Yeah. It does feel like a little dollar store right. I mean, you're definitely full of gamblers, I'd say. Yeah.

Oh, God, yes. Now, I know we're trying to save a few bucks on vacation.

“But I think you should steer clear of any airline that sounds like it's a dollar store.”

Yeah. Yeah. It was a horrible airline, man. All middle seats. You know, I don't even know how they did it.

Manicons. Yeah. They didn't do like things. They enough. Like, it's been all their money on mannequins.

Let's do the job employees. Just sit there. Just take up the aisle.

Oh, obviously you've never heard of value jet most likely.

But after the crash, value jet rebranded as air trend airlines, which merged into air trend airways, which later integrated into southwest airlines. So the legacy of the worst plane ever still lives on today. But back to 1996, we're 105 passengers and five crew members,

border to flight from Miami to Atlanta. In 10 minutes into the journey. Disaster struck. Yeah. I didn't realize how close the Everglades were to Miami.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They're right there. Yeah. I had no idea.

No, you just go. Literally, like, it's the city, and then it's Everglades, and then the rest of Florida. Yeah. You know, it's just like the through all the way to the Gulf Coast.

So this plane crash I'm talking about. I actually heard this plane go down. I was at a card dealership. And some horrible cracker was taking my dad that the cleaners on a cherry red Chevy Cavalier.

You, your dad was an incredible negotiator.

You feel like your dad is kind of like my dad were used as like, hey, somebody like dozen. I don't give you 80. You're like a style. I can't get you one more.

I love the Cavalier. It was a convertible. It was very nice. It wasn't a great car, but at least it wasn't a friggin' a RAV 4.

You know what I'm saying? Fucking, anybody that wants to sell your RAV 4 is an Iranian sleep ring. That's what's happening. They're from the North Korean.

They're trying to fucking destabilize the country. So I'm sitting there just waiting for this to go over because you know how long it takes to buy a car, especially when they're stealing from you. Oh yeah, they really let you know.

So suddenly we hear this loud plain go overhead and it like shook the whole fucking building. We're like, wow, that was close. And a little later we're in the lobby and we saw the crash on the news.

Wow. It was fucking crazy. No come up, but I've gotten a C slash here. A couple cool disasters in my day. Wow.

Challenger Miracle on the Hudson. Still don't make up for sleeping through 9/11, but 9/10 was worth it. You saw the Miracle on the Hudson? Yeah, I was working at a IAC building on the 9th floor

and I was re-stocking all the candy. And then all of a sudden there was some chick up there. She just started screaming and then I looked up and the fucking thing hits the Hudson. And then we had a telescope and I'm just looking

at the people standing on the wing. And I'm like, these motherfuckers are dead because it was February. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] Who's this Martin? Just you.

You know that monkey suit. They put you on suit. You just suit their own. These motherfuckers are dead. You're like two minutes full of resources coming.

Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. Fucking damn it. Another pilot corpse.

Is there anyone to trust and chew? Carol wants her pink paper. Yeah. Mr. Barry Giller. Come on over and look at the corpses.

Oh, I can finally get harder.

Fuck my fake white. [laughter] So here's how the plane went down. The oxygen masks. They're supposed to help in the event of emergency.

“But what if I told you that they caused the emergency?”

I believe it. That's what happened here.

we're not only expired,

“but also improperly secured in the cargo bay.”

That's the value jet promise. [laughter] And you know, dude, this fucking flight. Value jet was done like the next day. Yes, I don't fall in.

Yeah. It feels like whoever ran value jet was quiet quitting. Yeah. Yeah. I don't feel like doing this anymore.

Just stop. Just stop with the oxygen tanks and let some day go. Boom. Got to do it anymore. I need to fight for my own mental health.

And this is a boundary I'm setting. The oxygen tanks will just be loosely in the plane. And I'm doing that for my own mental well-being. Okay. The boundary is here.

Yeah. To this day, it kind of changed everything. You know, when you check in for a flight and then ask you if you're bringing any of the combustible materials on the plane and you think, "Why would anyone fucking do that?"

The answer is value jet. [laughter] The canister started a fire on board and the pilot tried to reverse course back to Miami,

“but before they could make it the plane crashed,”

nose down in the Everglades killing everyone on board. The plane landed in the mud and shallow water where the impact on the limestone floor shattered the aircraft and sent bodies flying everywhere. Cruise responded immediately to search for said bodies

and to say they face an uphill battle is an understatement. It's like more of a down swamp of battle. Yes. So they have waiters, waiters, not waiters. No, they don't throw servers in there.

We can call them waters. Yeah. But that sounds like water. Yeah, yeah. Well, water waiters.

Yeah. No, I do not think I should not be up to my way, in the ablation. [laughter] So they enter the mud and the bio-hazard gear and masks.

Their sleeves and pantlegs securely taped to their bodies to avoid coming in contact with all the bacteria or jet fuel. They went in teams of six, and for 20 minutes shifts bound together by a safety line, in case one of them fell into a deep hole.

I forgot to mention, the Everglades just has a bunch of random deep holes. I'll be that makes total sense. Yeah. So when you say like the shallow water,

“on average, do you know how deep and everglades are like up to your tits?”

Okay. If you usually walk around, about four and a half, five feet, you're walking on limestone. Lime so well, there's a lot of mud and limestone, but like I said, there's deep holes.

Yeah. You could be stepping on gators. You could be stepping on snakes. You don't know what the fuck's going on. Not to mention the sawgrass they call it sawgrass,

because it literally cuts your skin as you walk through it. I'm not going in it. Yeah. I'm not going to go with it. Yeah.

It's incredible how America is filled with places like this.

Oh, yeah. And it looks like this. Yeah. Or like in the opposite side of the biome, we've got the Everglades and Death Valley in the same fucking country.

Do we have everything? Yeah. We have a genuine drungles up in Oregon and Washington. I just can't handle a rainforest. It's kind of, it is.

America's a beautiful place. You know this? Hopefully we get it back one day. Yeah. Yeah.

As if it wasn't bad enough, they had to be monitored. So listen to you. So they're like, worried about the deep holes. They had like fucking helicopters equipped with snipers, to shoot alligators and crocodiles and other assorted swamp monsters

that would try to attack the waiters. Do you know that? That's kind. That is a fun job. I don't know.

That's a job. Yeah. Just strapped into a helicopter's like. Just wait. Finally.

Yeah. I knew the dump. I knew I'd do something cool. I wasn't just shooting villagers. All right.

Here's what all of it. Here's the results that I'll reflect it in. In the first three days, the searching yielded 40 body parts. Not bodies. Body parts.

The biggest one was a kneecap. Which should put in perspective just how badly these bodies were destroyed in the first 72 hours. The search lasted for seven weeks and eventually produced over 4,000 body fragments, produced a positively identified 68 of the 110 bodies.

42 of the people on board were never IDED from remains.

I assume their identities were known from the tickets purchase, but that's operating under the assumption that value jet even checked IDs or log purchases or owned a computer, which might be a stretch. We do it in an old fashioned way with graph paper. Yeah.

They just wait it's supposed to be 0x machine. It's graph paper. When you took value jet back in the day, it was like greyhound. You just kind of tossed your luggage in a plain go and north and hope for the best. I'll get on one of the stops.

I've got to body fragments is just flesh. I guess. Trying to grow. Just bone that they found. Yeah.

It's nothing. It's not. It's an eyelid. So this wasn't the enemy of fun. Look what I found.

It's an eyelid. Don't eat it. Like hold on.

I've never seen an eyelid on a toe.

But this wasn't the only Everglades playing crash. December 29, 1972. Eastern Airlines flight 401 was wrapping up from a flight from JFK to Miami. When I say wrapping up, I mean the black box recorded,

Captain Bob Loft welcoming passengers to Miami. Telling them that temperatures were in a low 70s. You get a low here at perfect Miami. A low 70s. Now we could see.

Hope you can enjoy. Oh, my fucking god. Basically, yes. They were in the home stretch. The loft noticed that the nose gear light didn't indicate down and locked.

Which was necessary for safe landing. So there's a little... I can't even remember the light bulb.

So he sent the second officer.

Burt stock still to the electronics bay beneath the flight deck to inspect and got permission to circle the height of 2,000 feet while they figured out the issue. Burt stock still. That guy wasn't being anything but a pilot. Dude, all these guys have great pilot names. Yes.

That can't be. Second officer. Burt stock still. Checking in. Do whatever they can.

I can't do it. I can't keep us in the air. And I know my wife's cheap not me. It's like when you get a pilot's license. They change your name.

Are your names at Barney, Krasinski? No, your name is now Rock, Jetson. But 2,000 feet sounds like a safe height for an aircraft. If everything's handled correctly, sure. Ultimately, though, it's way lower than you think.

If the craft starts to slowly descending without anyone noticing, the ground will approach extremely fast.

“How do they not notice aren't they pilots in the cockpit?”

Well, yes.

And then that's what happened.

The ground approached very quickly. It's night time. Yes. May have the 70s. So it's all different machinery.

Yeah, nobody's skinnier. Yeah. We'll be smoking. So if we get no zimpick back. No, we're going to be skinny again.

Yes, me. That's for everybody. After about six minutes of trying to find the nose gear issue, an alarm went off to indicate that the aircraft had deviated from a proper altitude. The alarm was either unheard or ignored.

And two minutes later, they noticed how low they had gotten. By then, it was far too late. The black box recorded Loft saying, "Hey, what's happening here?" And then, seven seconds later, the plane crashed into the Everglades. Don't talk in the snake eyes to close.

Yeah. Most black box recordings are like that. Yeah.

You can't listen to them.

It's mostly them just calmly talking. Looks like we have a little problem here. Yeah. Oh, boy, that doesn't look right. Well, they're built because they're built to be that way.

Pilots are supposed to because it's all the Chuck Gagers. You got to say, "Yes, they come." Yeah, they stole that. That's the whole thing from that Chuck Gagor voice. That's what every pilot is doing.

Yeah. Yeah. Chuck Gagor. Well, here's where it gets crazy. Chuck Gagor.

Yeah, the right stuff. I remember Chuck Gagor.

“I remember the ride at six flags over Texas.”

Yeah, it's cool guy. I don't remember him. He's broke sound barrier. Oh, that guy. Yeah.

Yeah, Chuck Gagor. Yeah. They name Yager by stir after. Yeah. Traditionally.

The fastest. How cool. I am the Yager. Mister. Yeah.

Well, so the aircraft fucking disintegrated and sent wreckage flying across the area almost 500,000 square feet. But amazingly, there were survivors. And here's the map. 176 total people on board, including the crew. 111 deaths till that means 75 survivors with 58 of them suffering serious injuries.

But that means that 17 people walked out of this thing relatively unscathed, which is unbelievable. So that's not to say the survivors didn't suffer, though. They did. One survivor described waking up buried up to his neck and muck completely naked, except for the elastic on his socks. He was unable to move to multiple injuries hearing snakes and gators thrashing in the water around him.

He was rescued five hours later. Hot, right? Wow. What happened to his clothes? What was he naked?

“Did the Everglades disintegrate his clothes immediately?”

Yes, so. I have no idea. Who knows. It could have burnt off. Who knows what manic shit happens.

You know, they talk about that. You remember how when we went through the Murdoch case as a part of how you know he wasn't the Steven Miller part of it when he wasn't killed, like we know the fact he wasn't hit by a car. Because one of the things they do say is that people fall out of their clothes all the time. Impact kill.

Yeah. And how like that style, it's weird. You're just like, your clothes is rip. Yeah. And it's up.

You naked is it. Your naked is hell. You're a swamp. You survived a plane crash. And you've just become a feral child like from the 1700s in the forest of France.

He could have bought one of those new newspaper suits.

But then when it hit the swamp, put him out again.

It's all the wicking. Yeah. And then the muck of the mud helped heal. And then his skin was moisturized. Yeah.

Yeah. Although if it was the 70s he might have been wearing. Now that wouldn't work because he would have been wearing polyester and that would have just polyester. It's there. Yeah.

Yeah.

“It turns into like a, like I love almost like a, what do they call like?”

Napal. Napal. Yeah. Yum. Now that was the big thing happened to Michael Jackson.

Yeah. At the Pepsi commercial. Yes. He really could have become Freddie Kruger in that moment. He did.

He did without the, without the mercy of killing them. Yeah. But they, they, the dreams I invited him in the manga. He already had to happen to glove. Um, so not all the damage was physical.

Some of them was psychological. Eight of the 10 flight attendants survived. And Beverly Raposa was hailed as a hero for her efforts rescuing survivors. One of her strategies was to sing Christmas carols to boost morale and draw attention to the rescuers. Some had to be in half paralyzed but naked soaked in caro scene.

Surrounded by electric eels. You're expected to join in on an impromptu rendition of Santa Baby. (laughs) Oh, that's an alligator. That's a fucking gator.

He's a clock that shit. Yeah, that's a Frankie.

“That's the song Frankie makes when a monster comes on the television.”

Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very protective. Very cute.

So one fun Everglade specific tidbit is that the first responders were Bud Marquis and Ray Dickinson.

Two friends, they were out for around a late night frog gigant. And frog gigant, of course, is when you go out and hunt bull frogs with a long spear and secretly have sex with your best friend. Yeah, why don't you do that? (laughs) Well, it's gonna possibly be fun about that.

That sounds horrific. Yeah, so these guys are out there fucking each other and stab them frogs in there. And that means you get back to stabbing frogs. I've already come three times. The playing crash isn't then the immediately leap frog into action and started rescuing people.

They were later honored for their heroics. And their efforts helped save the lives of 75 people and countless frogs were able to escape the spear to the head. Well, Bud and Ray were preoccupied. I imagine whatever frogs they missed were murdered by the plane. (laughs)

(laughs) (laughs) They were very actively destroyed, but entirely by the plane crash. Dude, the fucking toads down there. They're fucking huge about it.

It's something, dude. Yeah, you don't like those in here. They'd be waiting by your front door like when you get home and shit. You just feel like I don't bite you. They waited by my front door when I was a fucking kid.

(laughs) What the fuck's everywhere? When you hit them with the car, they must explode. They do.

“I remember seeing a video in college about, it was Australian Toads.”

It was about invasive species in the environmental sciences class. And they showed a guy driving down a road that was covered in Toads. And it was slipping and sliding all over because of the garbage. It actually caused a scuss. It causes wrecks.

It's so many of them. Yeah, that's slippery before you run them over. Yeah. Yeah, they're a little gusher. So the three main crew members, remember them captain Bob Laft.

Second officer, Bert Stalkstill, an engineer, Don Rippo.

They were all killed in the crash. Yeah, that's amazing. Great name. Hi, John Rippo, plain engineer. Yeah, that's what I do.

Well, just 'cause your dad doesn't mean there isn't still work to do. But Laft and Rippo began new career as Air Ghosts. Yeah. Yeah, this is fun. All right, now we're getting a little spooky.

The Air Ghosts are a topic I've wanted to cover quite a bit before. Well, here you go, fuckface. They started haunting various flights. And they didn't choose them at random. There was one thing that all the haunted flights had in common.

This is honestly pretty cool. The aircraft that a crash was a Lockheed L-1011 Tri-Star. After the wreckage had be recovered from the swamp, they realized that some of the parts of the aircraft can be salvaged and refitted into other L-1011s. They do that.

They've done that all with every single plane crash. They did it with the twin towers. Really? Yeah, they took the metal. They used a lot of stuff for them using that metal.

I mean, pro, this saved Eastern Airlines like hundreds of bucks. All those dozens of dollars. And the con is that the refitted parts also contained the lost souls of locked out. Wow. So, it's so fun.

It's so fun. It doesn't any other. Oh.

“In one instance, a captain was asked to check on a passenger in first class who was not on the passenger list.”

This man was wearing a pilot uniform and appeared dazed and unresponsive. When the captain got closer, he recognized who it was. Bob laughs. Bob? Yeah.

You fucking knew him. Oh, my journal and throw it off. On another flight from New York to Miami, the same exact path of flight 401, a flight attendant opened the overhead compartment to see Bob stare back at her from the inside. Yeah.

Bob does seem like a fun ghost.

You know, dude just getting hammered in first class and hiding an overhead bins.

He's like solvocano. Yeah. General fun. Now, Don repo. Not quite as silly.

He was much more productive on one flight and an attendant saw his face appear in the oven. And he warned her to watch out for fire on the plane. On the return flight, the engine failed and had to be shut down before it caught fire. Another flight attendant on the aircraft saw an engineer fixing the oven shortly afterwards. On another flight, Don was seen sitting in the cockpit where he warned of a faulty electrical circus.

And I'll be damned. Don was right. The crew found and replaced the circuit before anything could go wrong.

That ghost is the best employee this airline has.

I don't think he came in like the thing he kidnapped like that. It wasn't just like the fire on the plane. I come bringing warnings of die of consequences. There you just no one's gonna really help with their thing. He's so much done.

That is. It didn't get to that.

“And if his ghost was in the oven, was it like a tiny version of that?”

I said it. That little gnome is trying to warn us of something. Oh man, Eastern Airlines hated these stories, though. When they started circulating, they privately warned employees that if they were caught spread and ghost stories, they'd be fired. They publicly denied that these flights were haunted, which is objectively hilarious press conference.

We haven't investigated each and every flight, and we have to determine no ghosts. Like you could imagine, we will assure you. Every single flight you take here on Southwest will guaranteed to be ghost free. I don't care what anybody says. I'm scared.

I'm not flying in Eastern Airlines. Either they're not scared of these flight attendants or they're not seeing ghosts. They're seeing what we call temporal image. Like he tries to create new sight. Eastern Airlines was founded on the promise that the undead do not belong in the sky.

We hear a value-gener doing our best to kill the spiritual world one plane at a time. One nice thing about having two horrific plane crashes is that the victims don't appear to be causing any trouble in the afterlife. Other than the two pilots that are messing with people aboard the other aircraft, everyone's mind in their piezing cues and not haunting the Florida Everglades. That's not the case, however, for Edgar J. Watson. Ed Watson was known as the Everglades killer.

How do you think he got that name? Kill people. Kill people everglades. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nowadays, it's called the Haltste area, particularly near a convenience store, which is ironically pretty inconvenient for shoppers.

Because it's in the middle of the Everglades. Actually, if you need something that was probably as convenient. No, I don't think it might. Yeah, sure. I mean, the Everglades, I've gotten, you know, I've got acid.

“You know, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm, where am I going to get my, my pepsin?”

The ghost isn't convenient. Yeah, I want to get my malt liquor. Well, let's start. Ed Watson's story from the beginning.

On the first day, there was light.

Don't. Don't. Watson was born on November 11th, 1855. You know, back when America was great. His father, Elijah was a civil war veteran in an abusive drunk, which is redundant for sure.

Elijah would routinely beat Edgar in his mom. And after about a decade of that, they fled the Fort White Florida where Edgar would spend the rest of his childhood. Because of the inconsistent record keeping back then, there are a lot of question marks in Edgar's timeline. There's a, a lot of unverified stories and they start with this departure from South Carolina. One version is the story goes at his mom.

Many got tired of dealing with an alcoholic maniac, so she left. That makes sense. The other version had Edgar committing his first murder at the age of nine.

That one kind of almost makes sense once you hear the rest of Edgar's story. Nine year old's commit murder. Every day, you guys have heard about Edgar Watson.

I never have heard this story.

Oh, this is great. Yeah, there's a lot of fun, fun characters in this story. So either way, they settled into Fort White and Watson would eventually grow up and meet a nice young lady and get married. Unfortunately, Watson's wife would tragically die during childbirth with baby passing away as well, which made Edgar super easy to get along with. Um, Watson's first confirmed killing would come a bit later.

The victim was his unnamed cousin. Edgar's cousin made one fatal mistake. And that mistake was when he said the words. Edgar come down. Oh, never do that.

No, I'm going to need to come down. You know, that actually triggers a lot of people. It does seem to accelerate. Yeah, the scenario. You can't name a single time when I've said that and it's worth once.

You don't believe it. Try it with your wife when you come home with three. I'm hammered. Lady, I got to say ear.

First of all, ear over acting.

A second of all, I'm under appreciated in this house. So you're going to have to calm down. I'll be moving out after that. You come down ghostly because parsley. Touchly.

Calm down. Calm down because I'm calm. It's your place. Pretty easy. And he said the funniest thing about ladies earlier.

You believe the funny things that said about ladies earlier.

“Well, basically, if I remember it, it was very, very good.”

I think he said, calm the fuck down. Calm the fuck down. So anyway, Edgar kicked his cousin in the head till he died. I should have been a soccer player. Edgar then split to Oklahoma.

While in Oklahoma, Edgar met a woman named Belle Star. This woman's incredible. Yes. Belle was eight years older than Edgar and had committed quite a bit more crime as well. Do you also see her as May West?

Oh, my god. Yeah. Well, hey, my name's Belle. Stop. Okay.

Belle. Nice to meet you. Thank you. So she was associated with the James Younger gang made famous by Jesse James and that was hardly her first gang.

She switched gangs and husbands constantly almost always making the switches simultaneously.

She put together a lucrative criminal enterprise planning and facilitating the exploits of bootleggers and horse thieves. And all the various troublemakers of the era pretty cool chick than a horrible sort of way. Yes. Yeah. That definitely resulted in the deaths of many people.

Oh, sure. Yeah. But you know, great for the show. Hey, Oklahoma in the 1800s. It's fine.

Yeah. No man's land. Yeah.

“I think it was actually still just a territory.”

At that. No. At that point. Wow. I can't remember when the sooner's were and when Oklahoma was actually settled.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My ancestors weren't. They weren't in Oklahoma just yet.

They didn't show up until I think the 1900s. They were almost there. Oh. I went and come across a whole bell and I'd go. The bell stars run came to an end on February 3rd 1889 when she was violently murdered allegedly by Edgar Watson.

The killer shot her while she was riding her own horse. And then when she fell off, the killer shot her again. She officially died of shotgun wounds to the neck and back, which would later be the inspiration for the 2002 song. My neck, my back by Kia. Oh.

I wonder what happened with her pussy in her crack. It is not. You really don't know if she was shot in the other location. Oh. You know, the time in the record keeping wasn't the best.

We know as we established earlier. Yeah.

“I think the thing is, though, is that Belle was using her knowledge of Edgar being a killer on the lamb as leverage.”

She planned to use the info to reduce her sentence. Next time she got in trouble and Edgar got win of the plan and shotgun the shit out of her. Yeah. That's going to happen when you hang out with men like, "Oh, little lady." Little lady.

Not so little anymore. Okay. Hey, that bow. You're little. I'm not going to call you big boy.

Big boy. Don't put that shotgun down on. My pussy and my crack on my pussy and my cracker become one thing. So Edgar flees back to Florida. And I think a whole bunch of poor bastards must have been telling them the calm down or something because he started killing all types of motherfuckers.

He killed a man named Quinn Bass in self defense and was acquitted.

Despite the acquittals, the sheriff had enough and ran Edgar out of that town.

“So at this point, Edgar needed something new in his life.”

He figured the Everglades was the perfect place to hide out and plain sight. But he didn't exactly lay low. He started a very profitable business raising vegetables, buttonwood trees for lumber and sugar cane. Yeah. He would take his product on his boat and sell it in Fort Myers and Tampa.

He was, you know, it's going well. Just do that Edgar. But that's not his passion anymore. That's his job. So one day, he gets an argument with a local resident named Adolfa Santini and slid his throat. But Santini survived. So Edgar had to pay him $900.

Wow, he didn't really do that well. Yeah, you know, Florida roots. Yeah. You got to pay me $900. You got to pay me $900.

You got to pay me $900. That's a contract we made. That's your step.

You got to sharpen this fucking knife out.

I got a good team first. So Edgar stopped doing just the tip. Edgar expertly maneuvered all the difficult situations that would face a young entrepreneur slash murderer. And his business continued to thrive. Edgar expanded his Everglades empire by land around the lost man's river on a chocolate ski island.

“He also started hiring workers from Tampa and Key West.”

Now, another potential hurdle when you expand your business is the added expense of payroll. You boys know. Oh, yeah. However, check this out. Think about this.

Edgar figured out how to limit the burden of those expenses by using one simple trick. Instead of paying his workers. Get up. Oh, it's so smart. Yeah.

But it's so hard to be higher. Yeah.

That's the worst part is all the interviews after.

Yeah. Edgar had a plan for that. He found workers without families because he knew no one would miss them or come looking. Yeah. Because great idea.

That's what he was. So no one would come looking for. You know, we got to find orphan. Check this out. Promise them a salary.

“Make them work until they eventually ask where the money was.”

And then go. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And then he'd bury him in a shallow grave or simply dump their bodies in the river.

Try beachuaries. No, must no fuss. You know what I'm saying? Sure. Edgar's plan worked like a charm for some time until he eventually got into a land dispute with

the Tucker family. The Tucker's were well known on the island and had grown crops for years in area around Edgar's territory. He could front of them and told them to get out. And they replied that they would when their crops had finished harvesting.

The timeline was not acceptable for Edgar. That didn't have fast growing trees back then. No. So he turned to his trustee plan B and just killed them. Thumped their bodies in the swamp.

Not good to do. He really just got one move. He's got the only, I mean, he'd tell me. Yeah. See, but this time he broke his own code.

He murdered well known members of the local community. Yeah. And then Edgar opened the door for retribution. And that's exactly what he got. After our hurricane killed over 100 Floridians, Edgar took his boat to the small wood store

on Chakalowski Island. And while there he was confronted by an angry mob. Attempted to shoot them, but a shotgun misfired. And before he could grab his revolver, the mob and shot him several times. They dragged his body to a secluded area.

The Everglades and buried his body in a shallow grave. And to quote Robin Williams, at the end of Goodwill hunting. Sort of a bitch stole my move. Well, yeah. He was so sad during that shoot.

Yeah. But with 100 Floridians. Everything's built on sticks. You know, the hurricane comes through. And it's impossible to control.

Oh, yeah. It's the same as the, you know, the hurricane that ripped through Galveston. Yeah. Yeah, the get thousands. So it's, they found out about the murders. And then to wait out the hurricane before they could go fucking run after him.

Yeah, it's a crowd of people. It is a fucking crazy story. Hell of a week. I mean, when you watch 100 people in your town died, it's good to take another one.

Yeah. So nowadays though, Edgar Watson stays busy by haunting the Everglades at the small wood store. There have been countless reports of these hauntings. And they sound pretty chill. All things considered.

Mostly just alternates between making mean faces at people. And wandering around aimlessly, seemingly unaware of the people around him and just focused on his ghost business. How is that any different than any of the other customers at the convenience store near the Everglades?

A company by the horrible screams of Edgar's victims.

I'm sure that's not more people being murdered. Sugarcane being harvested, that's like machetes. Yeah, it's probably could just be killed by machetes. Oh, yeah, it's just a ghost. It's just a ghost.

It's just a ghost. Other people have reported hearing shotgun misfire outside the small wood. It's cool. Again. That just sounds like an important crime.

It's ghost. It has to be. The small wood store, by the way. Average rating of 4.5 on Google with over 700 reviews. Actually, that is quite surprising that has that many reviews.

Yeah, so whatever haunting Edgar Watson is doing, doesn't seem to be bothering to people that much.

“Does it not do you think it knows milk chick machine?”

Hmm? No, no, no.

Here they have a milk chick machine there.

Probably an icy machine. Yeah, you don't want milk chicks in the Everglades. Oh, man. Oh, man. You just can't have it out for too long, man.

There's plenty of dairy in the Everglades. Yeah, I want to eat ice cream and watch a python eat a person. You'd be surprised how unhealthy everyone is down there. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be that.

I'd be. My expectation would be met. Oh, yeah. Everyone's so sunburned. You can't even tell what race they are until they start saying race is shit.

Yeah. And you find out which one. So before I get too far into the saw grass on this one, I feel like legally, I should say that the dissantic administration and the state of Florida says, "Most of what I'm about to talk about is not true,

but I personally don't believe anything those fuckers say." Yeah, why would you? Agreed. Yes.

“You know what else delivers pain in the Everglades?”

Alligator Alcatraz. And I know what you're thinking. Ed, it's towards the end of the episode. You can't open this can of worms right now. Well, these worms I got here,

and you even got no can. And plus, as of the recording of this episode, it's still very much open. Alligator Alcatraz, though many have tried to close it many fucking times. But before we're waiting through the swamp too far,

the name is extremely flawed. All right, it makes no sense. Alligator Pelican. Are we supposed to take this seriously? All right, you know, they hardly even interact with each other,

even though in some cases are living less than a mile from each other. Alligators and Pelicans, you know? Yeah, they don't eat Pelicans? Yeah, no, no, no, because they don't go to the salt water. They don't go to the salt water, so the Pelicans are in the salt water,

but if they did meet, I'm sure they'd be mortal enemies. Come on, Palaca. Come on, Palaca. So, as we know, as last podcast and a last band, Alcatraz is Spanish for Pelicans, Pelican.

And since I'm a real American who only speaks American, like Jesus, Hubert, Christ's intended. That I'm white American Jesus. I'll be referring to Aligator Alcatraz, Saligator Pelican for the rest of the episode,

because the only one is God damn forsaken country who's got a pair of male breasts. Yes, definitely not the only one. You got a pair of shit running to you for it. Oh, baby, they are juicy and hairy.

Yeah, if you used to be a shaved man, you could suck on my tips. You cover your pants. Thank you. You don't have to shave you, actually. You would ruin the illusion.

It's actually going to be a kind of serious subject here. Oh, you don't. This isn't the time for you anymore. Shave me, you suck on my tips. So, Aligator Pelican is an internment camp built on top

of an airplane landing strip on stolen Mikasuki land. That is inhumane devastating to the environment and potential money laundering scheme and just flat out, cruel and unusual. What else is wrong with it?

It doesn't afford it. Yes, nah. Yeah, it's fucked up. Aligator Pelican is the brainchild of James Oathmire, Florida's attorney general and Ron DeSantis's former campaign manager.

Oathmire is also a prick face sucked bag who was involved in the Hope Foundation scandal involving disantuses, sunken-eyed, bitched mouth-wife Casey. They love stealing money. Yeah.

“No, I think that they like degrading LGBTQ children more.”

First of all, they have their first--

Yes, they're first love. So, Aligator Pelican opened July 3rd, 2025, which is not only my wedding anniversary, but also a dreadful time of the year to be in the Everglades. The Aligator Pelican campaign--

I don't think it tosses anniversary in it. Yeah, Julie, listen. She doesn't want this connected to it. I love you, baby. You suck on my tips so you come your pants, Julie.

The Aligator Pelican camp was erected in exactly two weeks. They put this whole thing together. It really isn't much to it. It's all tents, trailers, portapodies.

“It's more fire festival than island prison.”

There's zero infrastructure.

It was always meant to be temporary.

A one-stop shop for holding processing and deporting immigrants. Ron DeSantis, he confiscated the airplane landing strip inside Big Cypress National Preserveland from Dade County and the Mikkusuki tribe through a state of emergency order.

He placed on maritime migration all the way back in January of 2023. Now, we're 10 months in on Aligator Pelican and there's no end inside. It's insane that we're still stealing land from Native Americans.

To this day. To this day. Yeah, yeah. It's still just doing it. It's just swamp.

It's just swamping. It's just swamping. It's just swamping. It's just so crazy to me. So it was built by companies IRG global emergencies

who is a Texas company that got hired just weeks after they donated $10,000 to the Florida Republican Party.

“Thus, since given multiple contracts in the millions,”

alongside Gotham's LLC who were offered the contract to start rebuilding Gaza by Jared Kushner. It's fun, right? Yeah. All the same shithead.

He's not gonna see all the pain and misery. Yeah, just love and life. And death. Yeah. So Aligator Pelican was meant for the worst of the worst.

But truth is, it's mostly everyday people who just found themselves at the wrong place at the wrong time. In fact, the first group of detainees were their solely on immigration violations and none on state criminal charges. Now about 72% have no criminal record

according to the Americans for immigrant justice. As of April 2026, there are 1,383 human beings held captive at Aligator Pelican. But the capacity is $5,000. So they're looking to grow.

Current projections say that it is cost the American people $1.5 billion already.

And as an operating cost of $1.2 million a day,

which breaks down to about $249 per person per night, the average cost per person at a normal ice facility with like walls and plumbing and grounded electricity is $187 a day. Yep.

So we're just wasting money to torture people. No way.

“And I feel like, well, I think it goes good,”

damn glad we're spending money here instead of investing in any form of educational infrastructure or anything. Because I like the fact that the pressure is off for us running the world. And I think that's the key. We just like ease off on educating our kids

and just arresting a bunch of people that are here to make better life for themselves. So we're really going to give us the room we need to finally to master the chicken sandwich. Yeah, back then.

I mean, in the winter, there was so easy because they took all the books for the schools and then they burned them for heat. Oh, great. Kid don't need to learn.

They don't need to know how to read it all. Do you see this girl was posted a video of all these seniors in the space in the senior class who literally couldn't read the sentence? No, and then she got expelled for exposing it.

Well, they want to, yeah, they want to expose it because the kids couldn't recognize the word extraordinaire. And it's still a wet. Yeah, and it's still a wet. I think it might have been Florida.

Yeah, of course, man. Let's fucked up down. It was fucked up when I went to school there and it's way worse now. Yeah.

So now, I'm not Anderson Cooper or some other uptight pussy. But so let's talk about what the title of the episode says it is, the pain of it all. All right. Now, the Department of Homeland Security

and dumpy face high-heeled Ron DeSantis have called reports of guards beating and pepper spring incarcerated people, toilets overflowing, flooding, rotten food, hunger strikes, and something called the box as hoaxes.

But let's not come at his heel boots. I think that's the best part about him. Continue. I do like the boots. Yes, you do.

I do.

But there have always been enough reports

to take all of these allegations very seriously. Right? And if you've never seen Cool Hand Luke and lack an evil imagination, here's how the box works. All right?

It's a small cage placed out in the swamp where a person is handcuffed, shackled, and left in the Everglades sun, or pouring rain in a cage for hours at a time without food or water. All right?

It started the month they opened. July. Not sure if you fellas have been to the Everglades in July or not, but it's brutal bastard, especially if you're in a fucking cage.

At two feet by two feet, the box is big enough to stand and but not sit down. And with temperatures in the high 90s, with a feels like being a temperature of go fuck yourself, it is by definition torture.

but the animal that has the most kills in the Everglade

is actually the mosquito, all right?

“The mosquito in the Everglades in August”

are big enough to rape a hummingbird. Wow. Can I say that? Is that offensive? You don't know any more.

Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't matter. That's the thing that someone takes from this episode that's bad for their fucking upset about.

The priorities are out of fucking whack. So is the box still currently in use? We don't actually know. But don't worry, a couple of senators sent the letter. So I'm sure it's all fake.

Oh yeah. Yeah. That's what I love. It's Chuck Curemer's Nancy Pelosi. They just said those letters.

Embarrassment is enough of a punishment. Yes.

They're going to do it about this.

Yes. Members of the government, you voted for it. They've condemned. They've condemned. They've condemned.

They've just about. Have they said this is not America. Yeah. Yeah. Just seeing it.

Yeah. Because every time someone says this isn't. Every time a Democrat says this is not what America is about. It fixes everything. It's a magic spell.

I do want to just point out. We've been coming. It's not. That's right. It's fucking close.

We've been coming hard. The duly elected president of the United States quite a bit recently. But I don't want to fucking hesitate to say.

“I believe every single member of government should be arrested.”

Okay.

I want you to own a reminder of that.

I think every fucking one of them should be in a fucking cage. It's just an order, you know. Yeah. Bernie's last. Hopefully.

I hope you guys before I get struck you don't come. Yeah. Well, the guards there. Well, they ain't no fun boys neither. All right.

Most of the guards come from not so friendly private firms with names like Delta Fox Trots, Trots, Solutions and Corporated and Guard a World. By hiring from private firms, most guards don't have proper training. The really bad guards turn their ID badges around so their names don't get reported. No way.

Yeah. There's a really high turnover rate as well. The bad guards they get fired for being too abusive. And the good guards quit because the pay sucks. Yeah.

The place sucks. Yeah, man. It's $36 an hour and it's a two or more hour commute because it's not even like, everyone will talk about alligator alley. Yeah.

It's like take a left. Yeah. You know.

“And then actually it's take a right with the pending watch way you're going.”

But yeah. But yeah. And then it's another hour deep into there. It's not no one's supposed to be there. No.

It's not for humans. Yeah. No. The only people there that are supposed to be there are the Mikasukis. Yes.

And they don't even like it. They're forced there. They ain't like it a lot. Oh, they're fine. Yeah.

They would much rather a little piece of land in the San Fernando Valley. You know what I mean? I mean, I mean, I mean, like, I wish her land was in like, you know, the beautiful blue mountains of Tennessee or something. Tell them what they want.

They're not what they want. We all know what we like. You know what they're all at all. We'll get into it a little bit. And you can explain yourself to the wonderful Betty Oceola.

I'm talking to each one person. So it's in the middle of the swamp, which makes it not worth it for anyone who can get any other job. So some of the guards also. They just fucking live there and a shared trailer with no hot water. So they're essentially prisoners as well.

I'm sure it makes them super nice. Yeah. Man, if you are fucking live in a trailer, you have fucked up. Yeah. If you're living in a trailer at alligator out.

With a bunch of you're sharing the trailer. That you're sharing the bathroom. You are wrong. You have fucked up. Yeah, your life is garbage.

Yeah. There's no, because you say, like, good guards, there aren't a fucking good guards. You know, if you fucking decide to work this job. Fuck. Yeah, you're done.

Yeah, you're done. You're a moron. It's like ice. It's all of these things. You've specifically chosen a dumb fucking job.

And now you are reaping the goddamn benefits of it. Yeah, man. And then, you know, the fuck the part is. There's a lot less jobs nowadays in South Florida as well. So there's nowhere for people to turn to fucking support their families.

Well, I mean, like decent people are taking these horrible jobs. Just against their will. I just can't believe that there's no form of like cottage industry that could be legalized in Florida. That actually create a lot of taxed money that would do really good for the state. It's not like stuff grows well.

Yeah. It's not like that. It's just that you could build a green plan. Which would create so much money for your state that you're specifically saying, No, because you're a bunch of fucking morons.

Because it makes people nice. It doesn't. That's the problem. Yeah. So as far as the abuse goes, the boxes and the only thing these American SS officers use as punishment.

The few people who've come forward to talk about these incidents,

“say how most of the beatings from the guards come at night as a form of retaliation for”

complaining about mistreatment, which includes, but not limited to the showers being fucking filled with bugs, low amounts of food and other inhumane conditions. Another report I hated had a detainee complaining about expired food and then was stripped naked sprayed with a hose and beaten. This is what's going on down there.

And then if you talk about it, they just escalates. Yeah. Or they fucking deport your ass. It's crazy. I'm going to say that point, you're like, all right, fucking deport me. I just feel like just send me back now.

Well, a lot of people are going back to fucking places like in the baths where they're running from gangs that are trying to kill them. Yeah, they're going to America to make their lives better and we're fucking punishing them. They're literally fucking deporting Palestinians back to Israel. Yeah.

It's crazy. So not only are the meals not large enough for a small child, even if you do include the maggots, but half of the time the food isn't even cooked. A regular meal for a person, an alligator pelican, is either boiled tofu, half frozen chicken nuggets,

or just a couple of spoonfuls of under cooked rice.

And that's just mostly what my wife eats. That's just because she's got girl dinner on her. You shouldn't be giving girl dinner to a bunch of prisoners. And plus they only give you five minutes to eat. And if you don't finish your food in that amount of time,

“they make you throw it in the fucking trash.”

Only five minutes. What else do they have to do? Nothing. It's just punishments. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just, it's specifically cruel and unusual. It's like, I, whatever. I know it's technically, yes. If you're here illegally, yes, I know it's against the law.

What I do not understand is this idea that then you would be punished so harshly for something that should be like a matter of paperwork. Like it should literally be a holding process in which we figure out why are you here or not? Like are you who are to work?

They sit there and they wait at their hearings. When they're doing it the right way, they wait for them to show up for their hearings and then kidnap them. Yes. So it's not even like, there's no, again, we're talking.

Every time we talk like this, we act like there's like a good faith argument for any of this. Right. Like that's one of the main issues with this entire administration is that every single argument against them

infers the fact that they have an argument that can be defended, which they don't have. No.

“So, remember when I said there is no infrastructure there?”

Well, that means there's no plumbing. There's no private phone lines and all the electricity for this prison is all generators and those generators need generators. So the power goes out regularly, which means that the shitty AC unit stop working, the lights go out and the fucking food can cook or stay

properly refrigerated and not just that pollution. And they're trucking in gas regularly just to keep these fucking generators going because there's nothing there. And there's no reason for any of it. No, it's far more as a purposeless.

Yeah. I mean the purpose is-- Yeah. It's this place is used specifically. This is a alligator out of the treasurer is a propaganda piece.

Yes. That's all it is. And they're getting a rich down there because of it. They went down there, they have art. So this is another guy I found out about.

I was calling people. I was like really doing like investigative shit. So there's this other guy, Carlos Dwart. He's the chair of the Board of Trustees at Florida International University. FIU.

He sent a couple of mobile command centers over there to help with the surveillance. Just donated them from the university. These six are millions of dollars a pop. Yeah, these guys are all fucking so corrupt. It's fucking unbelievable.

His wife is the CEO of CDR Health who was contracted

by alligator Pelican for 70 million to provide basic health care

to the inmates. Still, no one seems to see the conflict of interest here. It's just crazy. What's going on? Incarcerated people are given--

I feel like Eddie they don't want to. Yes. I don't know why. [LAUGHTER] Yeah.

You didn't want to let you deep into it. Yeah, it seems like the people who voted for this just suddenly just don't want to hear about any of it. Like they just want to fucking ignore that all of this horrible shit has happened.

It's still happening to this fucking day. Because they actually looked at it. They actually looked at it. They looked at the people that were going to these places. They might have a weird feeling about it.

Yeah, guilt. Yeah. Yeah. Remorse. Regret.

It's fine. It's fine. It's OK. If you fucked up. It's OK if you made a mistake.

But now's the time to say, I fucked up. I made a mistake. Let's change it. Yeah. And then I might think about liking you again.

Maybe. Yeah. Incarcerated people are given one cup without plumbing. They're unable to clean said cup.

So over time, the cups get covered in mold, especially when it's hot as fuck.

Is your face and body getting covered with sores from malnutrition?

“Are you complaining about this cruel and unusual abuse?”

Pepper bomb. Yeah. That's right. They got these things called pepper bombs. Yeah.

Yeah. They're like pepper spray. But replace the word spray with bomb. It's to keep it from getting on police officers. Yeah.

They've lost these pepper bombs into the cages of bunk beds and discriminately.

And these murk employees just deemed it to be necessary.

Yeah. And the pepper bombs recently showed up in the Minnesota protest. Yes. But all of the ice officers were improperly trained because they're a bunch of fucking moron cowards. And the pepper bombs kept exploding in front of them instead of the protestors.

He multiple journalists thought happened multiple times. You might want to up that training to 50 days. So they'll just like, it could just be one guy that they're trying to like punish. But they'll just throw it in the cage. And then the cage, it'll, it's no ventilation.

So there's 72 people in there. And they just got to sit in the pepper bomb mosque for hours. And these are in the tents. Is it in the tents? Yeah.

You know? And then it's a fucking goddamn nightmare. A couple of fellows got so sick. They were hospitalized. They are now missing.

And their families have no idea where they are. That was a couple of weeks ago as of this recording. Yeah, and that unfortunate dead. Yeah, they died. Yeah, they died. Yeah, they did no time on how many people will like we it's we're gonna find out I think one day how many people died in these detention camps all across America because yeah I'll get our actresses by far the worst, but it's not the only place where inhumane conditions are happening I mean these are people that are going they have the same health care needs as all the as every other fucking person on this god damn planet

And they're not if you don't get the health care that you need you're going to die Yeah, you put pepper spray in a room bunch of 70 to people a couple of those people are gonna have asthma and they're gonna fucking die

Yeah, they are never gonna stop writing books about the corruption of this time period

“Yeah, it is like we are just going to see that that's what none of these people even understand is how”

Deeply unkindly history is going to look on this time period. Yeah, and they are and I can't wait Yeah, for their punishment. You know everything that happens Alligator Pelican is fucking just like it's all secret. It's all it's all like they don't they turn the cameras off No one there's no reported deaths there. I will say that, but we just don't we don't know there's no way to know because if you do rat You get in trouble. The cops follow you like they've like they harass you

They like go to your home and fucking raid it and shit and it's like, oh, there's nothing here But all your shit's broken up just because you try to do something about it, man And they're all right, so these cages let me talk about the cages the detainees are held in cages each cage holds 36 people It was 30, but they figured out how to cram another three bunk beds per cage People are literally living on top of each other and then there's up to 300 people in each tent

All right, and I'll you guys have you guys seen pictures of this shit? No, it looks it's fucking it It looks like Auschwitz. Yeah, it's fucking it's terrifying. Yeah That's why we're calling it out. I'll get our Auschwitz. Yeah, there isn't enough water for the toilets rob What happens when you don't have enough water for a toilet? Does not flush it doesn't flush all right reports of the toilet

It's just a it's a hole. It's a hole. Yeah, yeah, man because they're all porta potty's yeah There's no fucking plumbing all right reports of the toilets are overflowing men having to use their hands to remove shit from the toilets Just so they could shit and the toilet all right supposed at least each cage is given one roll of toilet paper per 36 people per day. It's not enough. That's not enough. There's three toilets per Fucking cage all right showers are you know, I was like, oh, that's not that bad

You know, I was thinking about it and then, but I'm like no I have two bathrooms in my house One for me one for Julie and sometimes that gets fucked up. Yeah, it does It's like it's just like you have a party and I have just we're talking completely practically Yeah, you have a party at your house you invite 15 friends you're going through two toilet paper rolls just that night Yes, yeah, not to mention you're fucking

Yeah, depending how much people how fat they are yeah, and how big and don't be they are and how much they fucking eat and shit Or how much they waited to shit? Okay, well, we don't need to go that far on the analysis Sometimes I'm waiting to go to your house to shit because I'm like fuck and I don't want to do it My house, I'm sick of my bathroom shit of Marcus's house Henry does shit at other people's houses more than most people All the time it's almost like he's an animal marking. It's terrible times a day

But that's regular for me. That's not a fucking that's just cuz that's must work So you just making stuff Always produce You know, you remember as we just said you're right now I'll make it shit. Yeah, what's next?

“I got to shit honestly. I do have to go to the bathroom. Do you need to break? No”

showers are allowed only once every three or four days depending on the water supplies

Diabetics have restricted access to insulin. There are no clocks and guards refuse to tell the inmates what time it is

“They never turn the fluorescent lights off on the electricity is working and so”

They're inside the tent. They don't even know what time it is. It's it's it makes it all that much more confusing There are no private phone lines for inmates to call lawyers and families

Confidentially there there is someone always listening and guess what happens if you get caught

Spill in the beans about the abuse and maltreatment. You're currently receiving backs ACLU currently has a lawsuit with the state of Florida that says they need to give access to unmonitored phone calls That was of something I read last week, but who the fuck knows. Yeah, because there's no phone lines Yeah, I know and it's like you're sitting there and you're like borrowing a fuck someone's phone

How do they call a lawyer to figure it out? Yeah, they go to get themselves legally extricated from the fucking scenario now

“Not just that they do this really fucked up things where they don't always register you as an inmate of alligator pelican”

Hypothetical. Let's say your mom and dad were born in Cuba. They get taken by eyes, but they don't have but they don't take you because you were born in America You want to find where they were taken to it could be any number of places in Florida Sure, it could be the the chrome detention center or the not so cutely named deportation depot in North Florida That just opened they have they literally got sued by home depot because they stole the logo and reselling merch These guys are just such fucking bricks and anybody who's got anybody that into any of this can absolutely

Bloman alligator pelican has regular power outages. I've we talked about and they have internet issues

So you're not always logged in in the DHS detainee locator, which the web page looks eerily similar to the DOJ

Epstein file site same designers You just don't know where your family member friend or co-worker was sent and This is where the 1800 missing people come in. Yeah 1800 people went missing digitally Which is either negligible or intentional either way go fuck yourself DHS say your lawyer finds you and

Places a writ of habeas corpus, which for those of you who don't know is a fundamental legal action Used to challenge a muffle imprisonment They'll then transfer you over often in the cover of night to another facility which cancels out the writ of habeas corpus

You're a lawyer that has to find you all over again and place another writ and this process can go on for several transfers

This is what they're doing instead of fixing the roads Yes, this is what they're doing instead of making this country and actually better and better place to live This is what they're doing instead of building hospitals and schools and Dreams and fucking and fixing the bridges and fixing everything that they need to be fucking doing health care This is what is happening. This is where your money is going and it's hammering. It's costing hundreds of thousands of dollars to do millions of dollars

Yeah, fucking us over. You see the torture is the idea They want to break you. They want you to run out of lawyer money Of course, they want you to give up your immigration claims so they can send you back to whatever country They think you should go back to Administrative disappearances demoralize the families and detainees with no remorse. Yeah, and it's not just the people

They're they're also doing it to all of the rest of us. Yes, that the point is to do so much Horrible shit that it overwhelms all of us it overwhelms anyone with a fucking soul anyone with any sort of empathy for other human beings That they're doing it on purpose specifically to demoralize all of us It's just the people that are actually in these facilities. They're getting the fucking worst of it. They're using them as as batteries and examples Yeah, too and they overloaded and they do it to make you emotional and sound fucking crazy

“That's why it's some glad I got to like sit down and research this and talk to people and write it all down in a row”

So I could fucking put it all together because I knew it was bad down there But I didn't know it was like this. Yes, and I also you and when you talk about it in this way What's nice is is that all the people that I have like currently all the bots currently fighting me on the last episode Decide stories in Marcus and I went ham on the fucking President on like all these bots are coming after us saying all the stuff about Illegals and blah, blah, blah, blah, and it is just a very obvious that they no one has any clue

What the real issue is? Yeah, they really don't they really how or thought this they sold this line that the idea that people come here Reliegely to what become a lawyer so you can't be one or they fucking picking fruit. Yeah, they fucking working on the highway Or they doing all of this shit that you don't want a fucking do all right, so after all that, okay? Now there's the environmental impact which is, you know, obviously something I care a lot about

She's a leader amongst the Mikasuki tribe and she lives in and the Mikasuki tribe lives in and around

“Big Cyprus. Big Cyprus also isn't technically in the Everglades, but it's like across the street, okay?”

The Mikasuki people have been in big Cyprus since the early 1700s Betty is worried about many aspects of Tribal privacy as well as the potential for environmental disaster The Mikasuki people live less than a half a mile from alligator Pelican and there are cameras pointing from the facility at Their land and homes. The cameras are pointed towards their ceremonial grounds where they hold private ceremonies Is DHS spying on them probably because they're out there protesting alligator Pelican almost every fucking Sunday

And as much as possible reminding people that it's not just about the abuse of the detainees But it's about the rape of the land as well. There is currently a drought in Florida and the Everglades and Big Cyprus is drier than ever, okay?

There is this facility could destroy a nearby aquifer that supplies water for 8 million people in South Florida

Not just the tribe, so I guess Republicans really are trying to drain the spot. Oh, also and Oranges are about to not be able to be grown in Florida as well because of the choices that they've made around the environment there There's a whole drought. They literally are gonna lose that entire crop that drives a large chunk of their economy

“A lot of the airboat rides can't even go right now because the water's too low because of the current drought. How is Florida out of water?”

Yeah, because they've it's God's coming Because God's coming because God's angry at you. Yeah, so also in Big Cyprus. There's a dark sky order If you don't know what that means that means no illumination is allowed because of how much of the wildlife is nocturnal They don't give a shit about that with trucks buses cars helicopters generators and even air force one landing there occasionally They're violating noise pollution orders. This is indigenous land

Virementsally protected land every day DHS is trucking in people water and fuel and trucking out piss shit and trash The Mikasuki tribe currently has an environmental lawsuit against the state of Florida to try and shut this facility down They're about a thousand violations of the National Environmental Protection's Act or NEPA happening over there

“So hopefully this does something but with the state of Florida being run by the fat-faced demons that run it now”

I am not optimistic Finally We get to the money. There's a lot of money being spent in this albatross of a project who's paying for this originally Because it was this result of a state of emergency Proclamation from dissentist FEMA was supposed to fork over the money

But they have yet to do so and are refusing to do so with good cause and for some reason this immigrant Detention center isn't funded federally because it's all being done illegally and it's all being done Slap-dash and to being used as a place to disappear people. That's right. The bill is given directly to the people of Florida

1.5 billion dollars currently estimated and so

All-fimer and to Santa's family specialty is making this money fucking disappear It's coming right out of your state. It's coming right out of it. Taking sure that you guys that your schools Don't have proper stuff and it's making sure that your hospitals are understaffed and it's making sure that there's not enough People working on the the traffic like all the Department of Terror They're getting most of the money. They're draining the hurricane relief fund. So if there's hurricanes this year, everyone's fucked. Yeah. I mean just imagine

Just anybody who supports imagine anybody who supports this shit Imagine what 1.5 billion dollars could do for your county. Yeah, like just not even your 10-year town They want one it could for your county like just what 1.5 billion dollars could do and this is what they're doing instead See what it is is mediocre white people really really upset that they aren't kings and queens of the universe Automatically and they love the punishment though people who like this if you do like this and you think that this is just

It's because you hate other people Yeah, yeah, some of the money meant for alligator pelican has been used on private jets for politicians lavish dinners and Tallahassee And you know, what's where you spend your money for lavish dinners Oh my god, thank for food and Tallahassee Fucked up seriously. You're on the fucking moron. That even they would just you say that makes me so

You would go to Tallahassee and spend that kind of money. You fucking idiot We have my amythes the statehouse We're on the way. I mean, I like this five great time there, but you say could use a little help You don't say could use a lot so far. Oh man, so they're spending all this shit on all these things And not involving getting these people proper care in the respect they constitutionally supposed to receive

For these monsters to make themselves richer at the expense of the less fortunate and the expense of people trying to make themselves a better life

“At the expense of our neighbors. So I guess when we said give us your tired poor and huddled masses”

It was just so we could fill as many private prisons as humanly possible That's pain in the Everglades. Thank you Good work and really really good stuff shout out to Rachel Burke, who did an amazing job researching this and Pat Barker who helped me write this beast. It was fucking is a lot really good work, man Yeah, really good work really tough stuff, but also when it comes down to it that we

It will all be revealed and it will get to it now. I hopefully eventually the snakes will overtake it literally actual snakes Yeah, we have to keep talking about this shit. We have to get let people know that this stuff happens And I mean in this is a hundred percent within the last podcast area Like this is the stuff that like who the why you talk about politics like because the politicians

We have never before been and are at least not in our lifetime have been in a situation where the politicians are actually doing the things that we used to cover

“That happens decades ago centuries ago. That's why it is current like we are living in the last podcast fucking timeline”

Yeah, we're not doing this because it's fun. We're not talking about this because this is but you're much laughter We're doing it like no, we're talking about this because unfortunately is three weird middle-aged white dudes No one else a Narcadagore is necessarily talking about this shit So we are because they're all afraid everybody's afraid now everybody wants to keep every food every cent because everyone's so afraid of losing a Market share of whatever it is. They're working on because we have fuck these people fuck them fuck this shit

We are going to keep talking about it because we have to yeah, and it's true crime It is is true, but then don't let anybody make you feel crazy. Yeah, like that's that we got so many fucking emails from people After we did side stories last week assembly. Thank you for talking about this because everybody every time I talk about it I feel fucking crazy. Don't let them make you feel crazy I've raged about this shit like they're gaslighting. Yes, it is happening other than Betty. I'll see all that every name I mentioned should be in prison. Yeah, man

Except for the ghost. Yes, that ghost is already free. Yeah Well, the ghost pilots as well because they sound like fun

They are free. They've never never never did anything that they were a good work

Yeah, good work. Oh great man. Hey, you're not calm slash last podcast and left give this money for at at free episodes Mm-hmm. Yeah, I've been talking a lot this week And it'll be on the left is all the social media is you're gonna want to look at that our Halloween album sold out. You'll never get it You're gonna see we're gonna have a lot of special announcements about our Halloween album So don't worry about that, but it thank you to everybody who already purchased it. I can't believe it. Thank you so much

Go to YouTube, but to see our new stuff over there someplace underneath LP and romanticy the foreign report No dogs in the spaces coming back LP and TV's got each year to the second season. It is up there rolling out every week every Thursday And it is after the last dream episode drops that drops over an LP and TV go check it out It's right the playoff started this week. Yes

Also on YouTube go to the brighter side LPN follow our new page you can watch our episodes there

“It's a lot of fun. Oh, I believe it was my episode of where in which I was a judge”

Yeah, I believe that premiered this week. It did. It did. Yeah, dude. You were so fucking I watched the last night fucking stone to the gills

I was laugh. I never full disclosure. I don't listen to our show. No, I don't watch anything

I do I hate it. I can't I don't like my voice. I don't like see on myself It's just like you know, just people are bad to themselves But I watch this shit and I'm laughing and I'm having a great time and I hate everything I do so yeah, you guys please go watch hx2. I can't tell you how much I love it. I base this character off of my brother Thomas So nice

Well, you know, it's wonderful come see us on the road. We're gonna be in Pittsburgh made 29th That's gonna be at the Carnegie music hall Grand Rapids Michigan June 27th over at GLC live at 20 min. Row. We're gonna be at Tulsa Oklahoma July 17th at Cain's ballroom and July 18th we're gonna be the tower theater in Oklahoma City also

I'm hitting the fucking road. I got a lot of shows Henry and I got some shows most of our stuff sold out We got more stuff coming down the pipe, but June 7th I'm gonna be in Phoenix Arizona at the Desert Ridge Improv. Make sure you check that out And I got a show at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania a salute to Bethlehem. That's July 10th Newark, New Jersey July 12. Oh That's where Jesus was born. Jesus is from Pennsylvania. He was from Pennsylvania. He could tell by his skin

Plano taxes. I got to show at the comedy store and in July and also Denver

I saw Mitch headburg at that club

“Oh, yeah, when I was in when I was in college. Yeah, yeah, we drove to Plano. Yeah, saw Mitch headburg there was fucking incredible”

That's really cool. Yeah, I love that and it makes me so happy. Well guys

I love you. Thank you so much for listening to me rant about Florida. It makes me happy to spread the word about what's going on down there

“And we'll be coming back. I believe with some true crime. Yes. Oh, no, no, no, we're coming back next episode”

I believe oh

is number six six six six whoa

“Really, yeah, we'll see. I'll say well that might be a little bit of true crime in there”

Sex sucks. Oh, he'll say it everyone. Oh, he'll give you a hell of a Thomas Kennedy who talked to him in the phone for a very long time He's an activist down there. He gave me a lot of inside information on alligator pelican fucking shout out to you Thomas Thank you for everything good work and fuck all the caterout could try as they can go fuck themselves fuck all of them