Side Stories: Cannibal Cats & Dubious Dogs

That's one of the cannibalists I started.

Side stories. Yes. Yeah, Magellan, we had a nice collective outing last night. We both enjoyed ourselves. Oh, the Mandalorian and Grogo movie.

Oh, wow. So you went on a date. That's really nice. We went to... Think of the photos and we got our tacos.

I love the photos. Thank God also. I want to say thank you so much for supporting like small IPs. Uh-huh. People just make stuff out there that they're just trying to make small IPs.

It's 'cause he's so tiny. Peace. Oh, fuck. All right, well, these are adorable. You would actually really like this movie.

I was, you know, no spoilers. But I was surprised on how graphic it was. What do you mean? I mean, you like, you look, you look like suckers on dick. Are you serious?

Yeah. Grogo. Are you fucking saying?

Yeah, Grogo fucking tries to blow himself.

Is that real? Halfway through the mood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta go see it. You gotta get up. You know, it's not going to have the spoiler.

You can't look that up. You have to go to AMC.

“You know, I think you should go to an independent theater.”

Go to AMC. Go to AMC. Yeah, you just suckers on. You know, it's okay because he's not a child. Did you know that?

No, we know that we covered this. Yeah, he's 50. No, we know we covered this suckers on dick if he wants to. Says no, that is not true. Oh, come on.

Hey, guys. Fucking sham. 60% wrong. It says. And this is the proof.

And says right here. This isn't his own pudding. According to Google AI, it says no, that it's not true. What is Google AI? I really said.

It says no, that it's not true. So go off and referred to as baby Yoda from the Mandalorian. Does not exhibit any such behavior. He's an infant character in the Star Wars universe whose actions are strictly limited to innocent childlike behaviors like using the force, napping, eating things.

He's not an innocent childlike behavior. That's going to Google AI. That's going to Google AI. It's not an innocent childlike. That you can fucking kill.

He rips things to shred. Any claims or memes suggesting otherwise are entirely fabricated by internet users. So what did I watch?

“I think you watched straight up gay pornography.”

I think everyone should go to rush to the theater. I think everyone should go to rush to the theater. It just seems to grow. Before they cut this out. Oh, yeah.

Because that's the thing. Because this is the sensors. This was, isn't this the what's his name? This is the able for our cut. You just know what's his name?

Who did blue is the warmest color? I feel like it's he didn't get it. Isn't he doing a star horse movie? Isn't the guy from blue is the warmest color? Isn't he going to do something with Chewbacca?

Where they have open vaginas? My wrong rob? I don't think so. I said I don't. But what's the buzz on that?

Magic and they just shaved Chewbacca. And he's got huge fucking tits. Nothing. Oh, my imagine. I don't like how cool would Chewbacca be with tits.

A cute score? Oh, my God. Oh, the way. Cute score. Oh, the way up.

By slave layout. You got caught. I like free ass big titan naked, shorn jubaco. Welcome to side stories. I'm really glad that he did the bit.

That is, I have this bit. I want to go first. I do. I'm out of the talk about grogoth. I can't.

I was like, this is a lot. He is. This is a lot. It's like four minutes into the self-fulase show. It gets entertaining.

He's like, he's like on a slippery surface.

“And first you're looking around and you're like, oh, why are they doing this?”

Why are they doing this? This is fucked up. And then you're like, this is our test. He did grow up. It was a choice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He really did. He grew up quite a bit. I'm sitting here with Curious Star Wars fan Ed Larsson. You ever tried to blow yourself in your account?

No, because I don't believe that for a second. No, because I never. This is, we've covered this on roundtable. We've covered this on roundtable. We've covered this on roundtable.

I'm just saying, all over the years.

I've never been compelled to want to suck my own penis because I've never wanted to suck a penis.

Okay. I even let your own, especially if it's my own. I never tried because I know I'm not flexible. I'm like, can't touch my toes, even as a child. No, I know it's like a fruitless.

No, in order for you to suck me off to the point where I like it, I would have to like it. Yeah, and I'd have to separate me sucking me off from the suck itself. Could you, but yeah, here's the thing. Can you separate the pain of your mouth to the joy of your cock? No.

Actually, I'll give you straight answer. No, I can't. What it would do to my back would hurt. Yeah. And that would all hurt.

And the sucking of it would not be that fun.

the, the lack of pleasure I would have in sucking it.

Yeah. I mean, not happy. Be me sucking the penis in general would make me not jazz. Yeah, the last thing you want. But I'd get jazzed.

Hey, if I did it right, which I won't. You, I don't think, yeah, because you don't want to like, after you just be like, I wish I didn't do that. You know, you don't want that feeling. I do that.

But that's different. That's a little bit more. But the sad, I'm sucking your own dicks alone. No, but that's, but it's too much. All right.

It's called post nut clarity. Oh, sorry. Yes. That's what I've heard. Side story is LPOTL and Gmail.com.

I would love to hear one actual story.

“And I think this is just like snow films.”

Yeah.

I don't think anybody's ever suck their own dick till they came inside their mouth.

And I'd love to, if you know a single person, you send me a picture of their driver's license. That's what I wanted. I want you to ask your friend that says, Oh, I definitely sucked penis and my own penis and came in my own mouth.

And I want you to send a picture of, Here's the picture from the driver's license to me. And then what do we send them and return? Nothing. Nothing.

No, I read it on the story. You get to embarrass your friend on the show. You get to embarrass your friend on the show. And that's what you get. And then it's a huge, huge get.

Yeah. Well, we have a light episode today in terms of just like not material. Well, in just in terms of its nice. It's a little bit less in the classic side stories. But sometimes.

So we got a couple of updates. Number one. The single most American man. You have ever met. That's it.

You never met. You can't meet him. If you do meet him, it might slap you in the face. But that's just because you better not talk mess about his favorite to meet. He might be one of the few people I'd pay for a meeting.

Maybe. I might. Yes. I might. Just because you didn't agree.

You know what would be nice about paying to see Joey Chestnut as that. Well, he then he would take it as a job. Because if he takes it as a job, he's going to nail it. But it seems that his one on one fan interaction might not be all that great. But we have really, really good news in the single most American headline of all time.

Joey Chestnut has been cleared to defend hot dog eating title at the nation's 250th birthday to celebration despite being on probation for battery. I think that the reason why he's even going. I mean, like it's it is of the time. Yes.

To have somebody on probation. I think most of the people at the 250th will be on probation. I hope so. You know, like, but I think, well, yeah, they have an escape from jail. Yeah, they will be there because I feel like 250th celebration this year will be the most

ankle monitors we've ever seen on the White House one. Like, this is going to be the most on parole outing. Was it the point of the ankle monitor so you can't leave or they. They don't to be at the White House. We need to have to be at the White House.

Yeah, and then hopefully participating in the games. But this, I guess they are doing this for the 250th year for July 4th. Joey Chestnut is being released. Conditionally from his jail in Indiana, which is hilarious to come to New York City. Column.

You know, he's actually in jail. We West. He now is in under is 180 days probation. He's not supposed to leave Indiana. Oh, right.

“So that's what's the lead the state didn't work.”

Well, you know, could you not do a hot dog eating could championship in Indianapolis? Yeah, if you don't want to make fucking money and they sausage there. Do you want to go to? Yeah, honestly, Joey Chestnut really wanted to be champion. He'd go to the son punching competition that happens in Gary.

You just do that one where you punch. It ain't line up songs. And one father tries to punch as many songs as he does. Son punching festival. Yeah, totally.

He does it till his hand breaks. But this year, we're hoping to get to a baker's dozen kids. Yeah, that'll be the new record. But Joey Chestnut was in a bar in Indiana, getting pretty fucking hammered. As he does, he says, Joe Chestnut does not remember the incident.

Wow, so he's black out. He got fully black out. And according to him or according to a video, he saw after the fact. I don't know if I miss getting black out drunk or not. I really don't miss getting black out drunk.

I miss wondering, or feeling deeply embarrassed. Yeah, just waking up and be like, oh, fuck, who do I got to call?

Well, thankfully, I never black out.

Like, thankfully or not, thankfully. I never black out black out. I would definitely feel as if I was driving from the back seat. Yeah. But I definitely wasn't blacked out.

“You think back in the day when we were going hard in murder fist?”

You never blacked out. Tallahassee, it was more like that. But not in New York. No. I can never drink enough.

Oh, I can stay awake. Yeah, well, I worked at too many sports bars. There was nothing I could do about that. Think God, I got out of that business. You said my life. Hey, hey, welcome.

Hey, welcome to this. Into the incredible world of show business.

And apparently, he did this thing, which we've all done.

Yeah.

“Probably in less observed times, where if person came up to him”

to you, shake his hand. And it seems they got into like a funny, little tussle thing. According to Joe chess, not when he watched the video after the fact. But then he took it a bit too far when I guess he started slap on him in the face.

Now, Joe is just not the guy started slapping Joey. No. Joe, he started slapping the fan. Oh, oh, oh, oh. We don't know what he did.

We don't know whether or not this was a situation. Was it a fun slap? I don't, the video is not released. No. Joe, he just not saying he thinks he entirely admits fault.

And says, I'm sorry. I'm black. I was blacked out. I got to figure out what I'm what's going on in my life. He did say that.

But he's like, it didn't seem like I was having fun. Whatever it was that I was doing. But I hurt the man while I was having fun. We didn't know. Joey chess starts kind of a big boy.

He's a cool one. Yeah. He's sick for one to ten between two to ten, two thirty. Right? Yeah.

He is his big boy.

And so it seems they got into a little like,

what would have been a funny tussle. But then he was really intoxicated. And then he might have really hurt this man. And he slapped him and bunched in the face. Now, we don't know whether or not the man who came up to him was saying stuff like,

Oh, Mr. Hotdog man. I mean, it's a good eat on a hotdog. That's definitely what happened. You're going to bar it in Indiana. Joey chess.

Oh, you want some mustard. I got it. It motherfuckin' mows to distribute. You don't like it. And then he's having to go like,

He listened. I'm off the clock. Yeah. Not today. Wait.

Bring it to Nathan. Yeah. Yeah. When you see me out there, it comments. We can talk.

Yeah. If you don't see 40 pounds of S. Cargo in front of me. Do you see some out there? Yeah. It's a lot of work.

Yeah. And normally I'm eating 15 double pounders right.

“But now I'm here drinking bills because that's my real life, right?”

And so then the guy probably who knows it, then he could be not up there. I could eat more hotdog than you. I got a big hug. I got a big hug.

I got a big hug. I got a big hug. I got a big hug. I got a big hug. I'm joking.

You just had a stomach champion. I bet you fucking like pigs in a blanket. Yeah. It's just fucking this crap. It's just fucking crap.

It's fucking crap. It's fucking crap. It's fucking crap. So I ran into Michael Moore at a bar. Not Michael Moore at the Fat Documentary.

Yeah. I suppose to say he's like, because I bet he could eat a lot of dogs. I bet he could do well. No, Michael Moore, the boxer, the guy who knocked out, and won the title from a foreman.

Or did he lose the foreman? Can we look that up real quick? Yeah. Can we have a straight man fact? Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, so I recognized Michael Moore, I was at a bar. This is years ago. This is before I even knew you. And I saw him in a bar where I'll drink and get him black out.

And I cozy up to him like, Michael Moore. He's like, yeah. Yeah. And then we just talking and drinking. We were like, had a nice night.

You come champ? Yeah. Of course. He's always got calm. I got to call, I got to call Frazier champ once.

No one recognized him. And he was walking around at the, it was the, the roast of Terrentino. And he was walking around. I was like, what's up, champ? He's like, he stopped and shook my hand.

It was very cool. But, um, so I see Michael Moore, uh, and at the bar. And I recognized him immediately. He's got a very distinct face. And I was like, we're just talking.

I've asked him. I was like, do people like try to fight you? And he's like, man. Oh, the goddamn time.

He's like, people always try to fight me.

That's the last person you want to fight. Sorry. It's, uh, yes. He beat a vendor. He beat Hollyfield.

But he lost a foreman is what it was. When the foreman came back with that. Before he came, that was the one to the slow two punch. Yeah. Which people said it was a fix.

But if you really watch that. Dude, he's, he's arms are both like a hundred pounds. Yeah. So he's a fucking, he knows what to do. He is one of the hardest with the punch and boxers ever in all of history.

Yeah. But remember he's saying the period. Yeah. So this happens to these people. Of course.

And Joey Chestnut. He pled guilty to Mr. Meanderbanner. So that is kind of cool. He pled guilty. He acknowledged what he's doing.

So he got a punch and he gave us. If you slap somebody, then if you punch somebody. No, I don't think so. I think should be. No, it's all salt.

It's all salt. It should be like heavy salt. Here is there is levels depending on what you do to the person. But you can't get it. Once you get it, because if you roll off a hat, it's the salt.

Yeah. That shouldn't be the same as fucking punching you in the face at times. It's all about severity and the cops going to call it as they see it. Literally, they're going to call it as they see it. But normally as soon as there's physical contact, it's the salt.

Especially in a domestic violence situation. And then depending on the state, they might have to do something. So if they, if any physical contact happens,

“which I agree with, I think that's how it goes.”

If we are getting to the point where we're calling the police, then obviously something is going on. But shoulder check. Shoulder check should be alive. You couldn't do that no matter what.

I feel like a shoulder check is plausible deniability. Yeah, I mean, we all have done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure we've all done it. And everybody's challenged somebody else. Get out of the way.

I'm trying to get off the subway. Of course. You got to do it. But the thing is, is that because of his indiscretion,

And this is a crucial fucking year for hot dogs.

It is a big year for hot dogs. Big ass year for hot dogs. Fuck whatever's happening on the White House. I don't give a fucking shit, but for the hot dog eating competition. Yeah, this is a very big year.

250. I bet they're going to have to block off the streets more than usual.

“Dude, you know what else is performed while on probation?”

Who? And that was interesting. Mike Tyson, Michael Vick, Tiger Woods. So low. Okay, who you met, I met, hope so low, very attractive. Oh, yes, she was very nice.

Good. Yeah, yeah, she didn't try to hit me or nothing. Wow, you see, that's again. And that's because you are a habitual fucking line stupper. And you're not. Now, we do know that he was not allowed.

Joey Chestnut, he says that he was not allowed. Remember to 224 famously. He'd taken his, um, possible foods. The, the fake meat company. He'd taken a advertising. Yeah, he got it from that.

He got a worse deal for eating vegan food. He did. He did for slapping human being. He was getting arrested. He really did.

He got way more money for it.

But just true. Um, because he said, and then Chestnut then said inside him, putting together some other thing. He did an impromptu separate event in 2024. Where he competed against four army soldiers in five, five minute hot dog eating contest. He ate 57 dogs in five minutes.

Yeah, guys. 49 combined. Oh, you know, he was just relaxing. Oh, dude. I'm going to do it fast for Nathan.

He's like 70. I think. Oh, dude, because then the Patrick.

“Yeah, Patrick Berlady, Berlady, who won the national Nathan's that year because he was still there.”

Right. Obviously, he got the gold just because the fucking champion wasn't around. He got 58 dogs in 10 minutes. So when 2025, when Joey Chestnut went back, he fucking put down staggering. 70 and a half hot dogs and he won.

But he was still five short of his record. And he is still a very, very upset because he wants to come back because according to Joey Chestnut. Responds and a bodyding. He's about to drive or draw the cursor to the dirt of the dirt of the dirt. Hot dog eating challenges both my body and my mind.

Yeah. Hey, he fucking right before he's defended the title in 2014. He did engage. He got engaged. He was girlfriend.

But they broke up a year later because you couldn't handle it.

Yeah. How many hot dogs could you guys do in 10 minutes? In 10 minutes? Yeah. Oh, man.

Probably like five. If I had to. Yeah, five. Maybe six. I am not a head to.

I'm not a speed eater. Yeah. Also, I don't, I want to enjoy it. They don't put condiments on it. It's just dip in it in water.

It just seems gross to me. You know what?

“I feel like I could like go toe to toe with people.”

Trem. Yo, no. I was about to say same God. Yeah, scallops. I bet I could go.

I bet I can go hard on skybat. I think I could. I feel like 200 trim. I have. I have an unending belly for shrimp.

I can eat shrimp. I throw up. I can eat shrimp. I pass out. There is something about it.

What's the most shrimp? Yeah. I'm looking it up right now. Yeah. Oh, Joey Chestnut has done some stuff.

I bet 21 pounds of shrimp. Woo! Woo! Whoa! Do you want to do shrimp?

Man. And eight minutes. This is a lot. 21 pounds. That's a lot of shrimp.

You think you can handle that? No, I get 20. I get 21 pounds. I get 21 pounds. I get 21 pounds.

Yeah. I like eating it. Oh, and a used horse radish sauce. Oh, wow. I got a lot of shrimp.

He's a real man. I wonder if you had to peel it. No. I think it would be, you know, done. That's kind of what I like about it.

It's like, take it my time. Peeling it. It's going to be inside. It's going to speak. You can't just be like that.

I like to relax with my shrimp piece. I like sucking them out. I suck them out of the tail. Oh, yeah. The heads.

Yeah. Look at that. Yeah. Fuck. He's eating all that shrimp.

Oh, my God. He's just eating shrimp by the fucking hand. Oh, my God. That is truly, truly violent. So that is not how.

That is not if there's a God. That is not how God intended for shrimp to me. I mean, I'm trying to tell a shrimp is to tell a shrimp is to tell a shrimp is to tell a shrimp. I didn't eat. It's correct.

Sorry. Yeah. It's a whole bunch of shit. It's a handful. It's a whole bunch of shit.

It's a whole bunch of shit. It's a whole bunch of shit. It's a whole bunch of shit. It's a whole bunch of shit. It's a whole bunch of shit.

It's a whole bunch of shit. It's a whole bunch of shit. It's a whole bunch of shit. It's a whole bunch of shit. It's a whole bunch of shit.

It's a whole bunch of shit. It's a whole bunch of shit. It's a whole bunch of shit. It's a whole bunch of shit. These are like the enhanced games whereas I know it's wrong, but I'm so morbidly curious.

So I watched some of the enhanced games talking to the enhanced games. I watched some of them just because I was curious. And they were saying according to, they brought that vampire a millionaire guy on for some reason. The guy that's like 42, but looks 39. Yeah.

Is that the guy with the big butt?

“Is the guy with BBLs that does pranks all the time?”

I just figured it was him. Well, they keep fucking talking to him on it. You know what the guy with BBLs that does pranks all the time?

He's always got an option on top of you.

I'm looking for him. I know what I'm looking for. Yeah. He runs in the air. Let me just see some else.

All right. So the enhanced games. We legitimately are nowhere near. They thought they were going to break all these records by having all of these guys in illegal equipment using every single form of PD.

They've got one world record. They got one. Yeah. Lady swimming. And it's really got a lot to do with the suits.

What they're saying is it's like high tech suits they were wearing. They're saying that some of the swimmers were so loaded on PEDs. They were literally sinking into the water. The mountain. The guy from Game of Thrones.

Yeah. He fell a full 30 pound short of his record. Dude, he's all 30 kgs. He doesn't matter. Game of Thrones was like 10 years ago.

He killed Pedro Pascal the first time any of us saw Pedro Pascal. No. I'm saying he had set this up. The guy who played the mountain. He's been a very high level.

Constraught man competitor.

But he's in his 40s. But that is technically Prem. That's prime time for Strongman. You think so? Yes.

Oh no. I know so. Your bones start going. No, dude.

“Because the thing is is that your mobility starts going.”

The worst part is that the thing about the strongest man in the world is that they can't walk up stairs. Yeah. But they can do so many other things like a big carry a big rock. Yeah.

They can throw a bag. They can do stuff like that. But they can't move fast. And they can't. And they're going to die early.

But before they do that, they're very strong. Yeah. And the mountain was really he was prepping for this. This was a big deal because he was all. Juice up to the fucking tits.

Yeah. To get it over. I mean, they all live. I feel like that's a triumph in the enhanced games. And none of them died while, but no, they were all.

There's a lot of doctors there. A lot of guys and lab coats. A lot of doctors. You know, like the X games. I'm not an X games.

What was it? The when they did NFL, the XFL. When they brought that back and they'd have like. Oh, yeah. Sake doctors.

They let the players date the cheerleaders. Yeah. I remember that. That was fun. He was fun.

Oh, yeah. But it seems that the enhanced games were largely failure. He had curly ran the 100 meters and 9.97 seconds, which is insane. Yeah. That's an insane amount.

But it's not the record. No, it's not. He did not be do same bolt who ran it in 9.58 seconds. And he did a normal. Yeah.

He did a normal. Yes. He did a do same bolt. Yes. But just know that the enhanced games were not there yet.

Hopefully. What I'm hoping in the further. They broke one versions. I got the one. I got the one.

Christian. Good. Good. They got the American. Yeah.

Yeah. How American. Christian. He got. He went.

He got. That was a man. Sorry. I misspoke. It was not lady swimming was men swimming.

He won, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't count because it was on steroids. So again, this is.

“I think we're just the beginning of this enhanced games.”

Next thing I want. Giant cages. I want them in mecsuits with weapons. Finding each other. This is next.

I feel like that. But that's like 10 15 years off. Yeah. Hopefully. No.

We don't have to do enhanced games at least like eight times before we get to fight and do it. I just want fighting. It doesn't even have to be the death. It is the fighting to the. To the.

You're crippled. Yeah. I would that's what I prefer. I if we're doing enhanced games. I want them to seem really doing enhanced things.

I want them on sort of like a giant spinning. Like mountain climbing wall that they'll fall off of into like a bunch of water feel like a bunch of water feel. I know they have it in Vegas and it's a good place for it. But I feel like the best spot would be like Moscow.

Oh, that's if we really want to do it. No, do buy. Do buy. Yeah. Just so that men can die legally.

Yeah. So that we can all be happy and really be entertained. Yeah. Where can they do it? And actually just kill people and it doesn't matter.

Do buy. Do buy. Gary Indiana. I'd say either one of those. You don't know anywhere where you can do a competition to death in 2020.

Not in this economy. Hell yeah. All right. So we got a couple more updates. And more update.

This guy is the. So last week we briefly talked about the the billionaire who fell there was death back in 2024 and his son is currently being accused of pushing him off. And we weren't sure about it.

There's a lot of things going on.

Obviously the the story is still developing when we first thought.

I thought it was like a boy. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was like a 17 year old. Just like fuck you dead.

Yeah. You do anything. I hate you. Let me have top of the night. Yeah.

But Jonathan and Dick is a straight up man. Yeah. He works for the company. Mango fashion and he had to quit after he got arrested. And so now he's done even a part of the of the mango company anymore.

And they're like, yes.

They're like, oh, he wanted the money.

He wanted the money. He was trying to kill his father for money. But it's just such a funny idea of being like, Ah, yes. I will push my father into the canyon.

Yeah. And it no one will be the winner. Because every main goes along the canyon. He doesn't reach. Yeah.

Yeah. I believe. You know, I was like, you know, and it makes sense. Like an old man could easily fall. Do his death.

I mean, he does the same thing and there's definitely. It's like covered in CCTVs and it's not a very popular path. And it's a thing that they do every day. And it's not like he's, you know, who's whereabouts would be heavily questioned And by where he was even missing for an hour.

“You know, I think though it wasn't like he went missing.”

It was like, he's like, oh, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I went that I took my father in the next thing. You know, he slipped on a blind date. But the problem is.

Oh, there's so much pulpo. But the main issue with it is he visited the site three times prior. He wanted to make sure of it. He was scouting it. But I know what you're saying.

He's scouting it. What's the big deal? I go to places more than once. I've been to running in 10 times. You know, like, you know, like, it's like so.

I mean, I was going to leave. Yeah. I think you're there to handle the goat. You know, I think you're thinking about that. So there's still like a little bit of plausible deniability.

But then he, his WhatsApp got leaked. Oh, no. Yeah, no, his WhatsApp got leaked. And that's really what's leading to the pre-meditated pre-meditated role here. And he asked certain things.

Like a judge's writ said that the relationship between the father and son of Teriating, owning that Jonathan Arctic's obsession with money. Oh, and his WhatsApp messages had expressed feelings of hatred, resentment, and thoughts of death and blaming his father for his situation. Money, father, we're not, let me go.

Yeah. We're not, let me go to the board. Yeah. He said, uh, we shouldn't many cherished loving memories together. Of course they did.

Yeah. Sure. Like when he first came from money, when he secondly gave him money, when he did, oh, a billionaire son, they definitely are filled with, I guess, empathy. I don't know if that's true.

But it does show that there is a cost of being a billionaire. There really is, and sometimes what that cost is, your family hates you. Yeah, family hates you. They're going to try and kill you and sell your money. And then you're worth it.

Every single billionaires know something. Yeah, we sold them. You ever see the movie greedy? But yeah, but that's your reason why love the movie greedy. Great. Great. Great. Love that movie. Yeah. We're Kirk Douglas. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, love that movie.

“But also, you know, this, that's a problem with billionaires, right?”

Is that they're always like, oh, I'm a billionaire.

Everybody wants to kill me. Now I have to fucking punish the world because everybody wants to kill me. Yeah. They don't really understand if you would just got down to like 999 million, we wouldn't want to fucking kill you anymore.

So maybe you just got to think about just giving up money away to society, where we won't want to fucking kill you anymore. Yeah. Oh, and also a mango company is like on Russia side in the Ukraine war. Oh, sure. They're doing great. Yeah, wouldn't make them hats.

What are they doing for the fashion industry over there? I don't think the man's a nice man. No, probably not. No. Well, good riddance. Good.

I know I hope they're all punished one by one because everybody hates. I cannot believe you're wearing that silver jacket. I know there's a good chance I'm completely wrong here. But I feel like if we're going to prison for us in my life, I don't want to do it in Spain. Oh, of course.

Get naps. Oh, speak about shrimp. I know it's half of a shrimp problem. Bane is you get all the coke in the red wine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So many. I love you out of prison. Yeah. I mean, yeah, prison. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So many. We're going to get so many. We're going to get so many. You just side stories, LPOTLG, mail.com. What's prison in Spain like?

Yeah, do you like it? How are you? How are you doing? Are you watching this on Netflix? In prison in Spain?

Is that on? All right, here we go. All right, we got a great story here. This is extremely important. There's a lot of times I know we've covered brother, like, you know,

between the Ronnie and revolution and Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, and alligator Alcatraz really funny stuff.

This is one of the more serious stories because you just never know your pets.

You never really know them. They are mysterious.

“And honestly, this is another example of why I'm glad we don't have cats.”

Yeah, this is a reddit article. This is not a reddit post asking for help, I guess. I'm not, again, it's not anti cat. No. Well, I'm fine with cats.

We're together. We're not anti cat. This is just a specific because I will counter this with the dog story. Just understand. Mm-hmm.

This comes from a user named Eldridge Pussy Maggots. So, yeah. Yep.

Remember that when you hear the story? So I'm just going to read this real quick. It comes from a reddit, everybody's favorite place. Not really looking for effects, just information. My cat, seven years old, male, neutered, has already been to two behaviorists when my parents had him.

Both were confused according to my parents. This is a no-nissue. But it doesn't cause any problems because he's not allowed to interact with other cats whatsoever. Okay. Definitely not an issue at all.

He's very sweet to people.

“Not very small children at it, he gets overwhelmed by kids, right?”

He isn't trying to kill them. Yeah. But he seems to react to other cats the same way he would to a squirrel or to a rabbit. As in just pure predation. No recognition that they are in the same species.

He doesn't display any territorial aggression. Sure, their cats, none of its dominance behavior.

Ears don't go back for never puffs out.

He never grows or hisses. Nothing. He's just hunting. Never seen anything like it. The shelter was hesitant to adopt him out of all of his due to his history.

But they did so because one of the other shelter workers personally knew my stepmother and was interested in weird cats. He's cat with. I think I've ever seen weird. Do you ever see a jet? Do you call it a weird?

He's got backwards in. Hey lady, got a weird pussy. Yeah, we're pussy talking about cats. But I like to use that word to freak out. Yeah, they do that just to kind of make people uncomfortable.

Which we're pussy at all. I got nine. They were considering youth and age. Because he was returned multiple times. They won.

“But we still wanted to give them a chance.”

Due to just how friendly two people he was. And smarty is sure. He's well fed.

He's always been well fed.

Killing and eating other cats. Which belonged to a previous owner. Was not something he did at a separate desperation. Judging by what I know about the event and would be here. I've seen I'm entirely sure it was predation.

He's injured a cat. My parents were pet set into the point of needing an emergency vet visit. An extensive reconstruction of its neck. The cats were separated. But a child left the door open for a minute.

My cat ran downstairs caught the smaller cat. Went for the throat. A mobilized and attempted to drag him underneath the furniture. They were separated before he could kill the cat. My parents have had him since 2023.

And I recently, September 25, took him when I moved somewhere that allows cats. I'm set on keeping him. Cool. Very important note. He's no longer around other cats.

Great. Period. Done. More details.

“He did eat a cat owned by one of the previous people who adopted it.”

I don't think so. Imagine this actually. It's a cannibal cat. Yep.

In addition to two previous surrenders for similar behavioral issues, which I don't know

much about. From what I know, he's had a good introduction to a smaller female cat. But no territorial behavior was left alone for a day. When the owner came back, it was a giant bloody mess. The shelter were sure that he did kill the female cat and was eating the body.

The reason why they were considering youth in Asia until he was offered to my stepmother. Further clarification, he does not hate cats. He likes them. Just like how he likes birds. I mean, you really can't tell.

It's just like to Jeffrey Dommer, like guys. Yeah. Producing. Yeah. A lot.

Too much. Predation and terror of terrible behavior are not different things. If you can't tell the difference, you shouldn't be giving input on this post. He is not stressed by other cats. He is not anxious and does not feel threatened by other cats.

He doesn't need anxiety medication. anxiety medication doesn't stop cats from having a prey drive. He does not hiss or growl or try to look intimidating. He has no other behavioral problems. He doesn't yell or anything when he attacks.

He finds cover, stalks, ears up, eyes big, completely silent. He gets very curious and excited when he sees other cats. He's seen my friends cat separated by ceiling height gate and supervised by two people. He seems extremely inquisitive, sniffing, ears forward, no sound. My cat did not respond whatsoever to my friend's cats.

Hissing, growling, or puffing up. He just seemed curious and tried to see if he could stick his head around the side of the gate and pulling through the bars. Then he started to look at back at me and mowing and rubbing on my legs. No.

And it number three. No. He is not going to be euthanized. I did not make this post asking for advice. I made an asking for a remission about why he's fucked up.

So I'm telling you to put him down. Some applying human morals to animals. He behaves like any other small predatory mammal. Only does not have the ability to recognize member of his own species. I've already had him by myself since September of last year.

And before that, I was around him at my parents house in 2023. Okay? He's literally fine by himself. He's my cat and I love him. All right.

He's probably healthy and affectionate on the smartest cat of ever own. And a hundred plus people tell me to kill my pet and bothers me. So we have bothered you. She's the fuck off. She's not going to be fuck off.

It isn't open for him. And before the case of the format, so the events were chronological order and clarifying some vague tinnices. Here's an anyway. I will not.

I just got. Okay. We'll just say. It is a cute cat. Sorry.

It's my Reddit lady voice.

Yeah. No. That's great. Go to the bottom of this and click on the next one there. There.

There you go. That read the follow up post up up up. Yeah. There you go. Click on that.

There we go. There's a cat. Oh, yeah. The cat's really cute. The cat's really cute.

The cat's really cute. I thought Jeffrey Dahmer was a really, to be honest, really attractive teenager. Did you read the follow up by the chance? No.

We did not read the follow up.

“Do you want to try and guess what the cat's name is?”

Name it. Casey Anthony. Baby Jesus.

That is the funniest fucking.

What? The cat's name is Baby Jesus. The cat's name is Baby Jesus. I. And it's a cannibal.

This is just unbelievable. And Jesus feeds himself to the Catholics. Oh, every day. The Catholics are cannibals. Yeah.

They are cannibals. Yeah. So can I ask Eddie. And we were talking about this right before the show. I unfortunately believe.

Let me say this nicely. I love you all. I feel it. The cat is unsavable. And if the cat, I don't think it needs save it.

It's killing other animals. But I do get it. If it's living alone with this man, then you don't have to worry about it. Lots of cats kill other animals, tigers, lions. It's probably reincarnated.

You know, I guess, you know, in the end, if this is what this person wants to do, I just find it interesting that they really spend such a long time defending the cat. When did you show it? I mean, I don't know what he was expecting people to say. Yeah, I don't know how you can make this post and save my cats accountable.

And then people tell you to kill it. And then, you know, like, what the fuck? This is all right. This is a handsome kitty. This is from a...

It's from one of the rated comments. This is a handsome kitty. Glad to see that you're giving them the best life. Eldridge pussy magnets. [laughter]

That is the man's name. Eldridge pussy magnets. Loves this cat. Magnus. I keep saying magnets.

All right. Okay. Yeah.

“He takes him out on a harness and a leash, which I think is irresponsible.”

If you're going to keep it, he's going to stay in the house. My parents, all right. So this is what I'm going to say. My parents also kept him with a very large man, Cune. And he didn't seem to understand any larger cats attempt to communicate.

Maybe Jesus would ignore the hiss and growling. God has asked, "Hand it to him when you sat there and he didn't back off." And it says, "Here, it would try to eat a chihuahua." Yeah. That's what it's saying.

Yeah. They were trying to eat a fucking chihuahua. I'd say anything. It's size or small. He does.

Play it rough. That's what he says. Yeah, he plays rough. It's a fucking murder. It's a murderer.

Yeah. And it's a fucking murder. And we all know dogs play rough. Only when they win. When you're speaking their language.

[laughter] He doesn't like string toys. He just looks at his hand. It's just the way they brought up all of this without anybody saying anything about the cat. Killing and eating other cats.

And then everyone teaches me like, "I can't believe that you guys didn't have a pen in on this thing." I posted out for an opinion. I'm editing a pen in post. Asking for a pen in. And then you came out of your opinion.

And you're fucking wrong. Oh, he's answering. My teacher caught in my belt. [laughter] My teacher caught in my belt.

I got stuck in the, I got steady OBGYN. And kicked me out today because I didn't, they found a snake in there. [laughter] Apparently, there is like, they found the cat had killed other cats before. Yes.

It's killed multiple cats. Yes. And yes, it's like, "Oh, it's not around other cats." Is that what we do with a psychopath murder? Yeah.

Like you take them away from society. And you lock them up and you put them away. But yeah. But then he's not using it to stay away. Like he doesn't get treats and stuff.

like when a person when a cat gets put to prison Maxwell gets treats she is a great time and it's time someone talks about her they get a trouble they get they get moved there's probably that's we need a mental facility for pets yeah I've been thinking about this I'm actually gonna start one I'm gonna start mine my back baggins Zach Baggins should buy this cat and have it go around the fucking CM I don't kill other cat that's a great idea yeah I should put him up for that you

can hear that you hear that eldritch pussy maggots I'm gonna be your great Zach

“Pack well this kind of dog jail son you honestly there's big money there”

I'm not late maybe we can figure what's wrong if we use this like so and try another they've been doing this AI like weird animal translator thing the people are like falling in love with saying that it can recognize what a dog saying and I'm gonna put all these things out my

problems it's always other words AI I'm like oh that's fucking stupid but yeah yeah

you don't really want to know what they're saying I want I actually was like I read the very

“interesting article this weekend about dogs and you see this thing with the the communication”

pads with the buttons that they can say words yeah bitch yeah it's always bitch bitch kill the

president kill the president kill the president it's like why are we're doing that and I um but this the thing about AI the dog yeah obviously but this AI like I feel like it's saying it's using this AI's now a buzzword they're throwing AI on things they try to sell me at the store the other day my dryer broke I was like I just want to dryer I want to hire some like my mother has where you just replace the one part she's had the same

driver fucking 35 years yeah he says it doesn't exist anymore you can get this other dryer it's like what is it he's like the thing is you're gonna want to buy this dryer you're gonna have to buy the washing machine with it I'm like what are you fucking talking about he's like it's got AI in it and the AI talks to the washer I think he's talking forth AI I hate I wanted to die and it's destroying the planet these data centers need to

be closed down but AI if it's gonna do anything it should be doing her laundry but you're

talking about it's just but it's just a buzzword first you mean software it's just software

it is not I'm the little your your washers not thinking it's not sitting on my hope that

“these panties aren't full enough these panties are all full of blood I guess you must be”

the ladies like it's not what it's thinking it's not thinking anything they're just connected together it's stupid AI's a buzzword that means fucking nothing but with this term like this idea of using dog translation app that with dogs and animals they more so develop tailor made to you so they were talking with dogs on the on the the talk pads they would learn a couple of things they say that they could talk they could teach a dog up to like 40 or 50 words yeah

and you choose the word yes and you can and they say that sometimes dogs can really put together

in a string certain words and they figured out certain things oh yeah yeah the AI thing just saying

mom I love you yeah of course everyone's gonna love it if it just says mom I love you but it didn't say that no it's it's me yeah it's gonna want to kill the cat next door it's saying a want to kill Odie I want to kill the I want to kill your son I want to kill the children yeah but the if you listen to the dog people that are training the dogs they find that the dog really understands things obviously around food treats yeah but the word now like dogs love the word

now and then if you could figure out the very impatient you put the word later in and it says this funny thing people talk about ending in this like long like argument with the dog whether just going like treat treat and you're like no later and goes now and it's like later now later now and it's kind of funny but it's it's only communicating because it's learning you I don't think

“it understands the concept of later I think it understands the concept I think they think later is no”

well that is it is it's just in our mind we were we believe we're creating really nuanced conversation with the animal when we're really just sort of gamifying it's already it's natural ability to completely understand all of your verbal cues yeah and physical cues it's watching everything it's watching if you move it you make you want to see an example of a negotiation with a cat sure baby it's saying Pippie doesn't want you near here because Pippie's trying to eat okay but that's

got me that's interesting yeah I don't care it's really I don't think it's I don't think the AI part of it is real no Julie wants to go to a pet psychic can I give me the money I'll do it no let me do it she's gonna pay money to talk to a pet psychic I'll do it you but you got to dress like a psychic oh yeah I do black face and everything she'll have no idea I need lots of practices yes some finger timbre yeah I'm coming to the full thing oh yeah she won't have any

idea here we go I mean I here it's it's mistrust Wanda yeah she's like we should go we should see what Tutsie's thinking I'm like baby I really don't want to go and like she's like Tutsie's thinking yeah I said Tutsie I thought it was the end and then she's like she popped back up again and she's just walking around eating much of cookies and shit I'm going to great time I'm believable what's it once I started getting carbs down there she fucking turned

a new leaf tell me about it yeah oh my gosh she fell down the ramp though and she tumbled like it was slow it was very it was actually the cutest fall that was very dangerous that I've ever seen she has no idea she's alive but I love her but you know what dog does know this dog in Nebraska that shot a woman with a shotgun what now is it when police in a

to the scene to find unusual culprit oh good the incident took place in the Scott's bluff

“town of Nebraska this is according to the mirror shots were fired in a parking lot of a local”

convenient store police arrived to the scene they found a truck with his doors damaged in a woman who was struck on the arm by a shotgun pellet but the investigation the matter showed that the woman had a loaded shotgun to the back seat of the car which was inadvertently fired by her dog as it moved around in the seats the shot ended up damaging the car and even struck a female passerby it doesn't really know how does that happen how does that have the shotgun sitting on the

fucking chair and the dog jumped on it and it went off how does it pull the trigger with its paw it depends on how big the pause you know it gets in there and it gets stuck in it freaks out because it's foot is stuck in the goddamn trigger don't arrest the dog though right now you arrest the owner you take the guns away hopefully no that can't be there's no way they're taking the guns away I feel like in the end and you love the other girls just shows the dog's paw

just to be like and this this is the hands of a murderer the hands of a terrorist this guy I mean this guy should be talking about someone that should be put down it's a late dog's owner yeah it's a lady she's just driving around with a shotgun loosener backseat yeah with the dog well that's dog shotgun you at least yes I mean you know you don't want it to become a murderer you know that's one of the worst things that could be is that why they call it riding shotgun

oh oh it was in the backseat why do they call it riding shotgun so you can get up there and shoot out the window hopefully yeah I think so I think that's the whole thing you gotta shut you give us a story Eddie all right here's this one I'm loving and it's been developing over a couple weeks and I kind of had it my pocket and didn't bring it up yet but this one I fucking love all right so Mount Everest stupid the climb all right well now it's definitely like you can just

“pay money to climb okay there's a line but you have to like stand in line when you go to Mount”

Everest and slowly walk up behind a bunch of people and be sure because there's a small weather window in which you can get to the very peak of it right in this certain season you have to go in another so many people doing it that they have now created this like log jam at the fucking top that just sits there yeah which is insane to me also do's other mountains at my life it doesn't the only mountain you can go to other mountains there's other mountains

who's totally other mountains yeah well what about no one does titty cock and no more no one does titty cock and no more what I think that's a link um but uh Nepalese authorities have charged 32 sherpas and then the legend fake rescue and insurance fraud scream yeah scheme up in Nepal taking high altitude trekking industry including routes associated with Everest tourism they've

what they've gotten over 20 million dollars from people what they've learned from 2022 to 2025

would this is a thing they'd so funny because the sherpas they lead them to places they can't

“get down from and then they're like oh you need to be rescued and then they'll their boy you”

want to helicopter yeah and then they come get them like do you want to come get you want to get got and then they have to like fucking put down the ladder and they charge them out the fucking ass this is how I believe this is the true satinist part of me and sadly the capitalist part of me that says if you want to pay big-time money to go to the top of Mount Everest and you can't properly research the team that you should take yeah and this happens to you

you fucking deserve it I think that if you're because guess what they're all to do and they're not leaving you to die they could definitely just kill you and take all your things if they wanted to they's an extended scam that I actually think is kind of funny the alleged scheme has affected 4,782 international climbers it's very stupid that is a lot of fucking people it's a lot of people because look at the line that is the crew so right now Rob is showing a video of a line

of at least 40 to 50 people that's 150 dude waiting to go to the top to get their little fucking picture right like the rise of resistance line did it's not on Everest oh yeah and they wait

like this so they can all get their little picture and then sometimes the problem is is that while

they're standing and waiting the weather can change so rapidly that they all have to run for emergency cover like this is it's just getting out of control it's getting the idea of this as a money-making scheme and a cloud chasing exercise is kind of getting that there's so many mountains for you to go to you don't need to go to Everest but also here's the other developing part of the story the sherpas they're finding were poisoning people they were like poisoning their food that they were making

and putting like that they're putting a bunch of baking soda in it and it was making them like

sickness yeah and so they thought that they were getting altitude sickness when they were up there

but they weren't and they were just like this had a bunch of baking soda in their bellies and then they would have to get rescued and here's the other thing they were doing I think this is actually how they got caught was they would do a helicopter rescue and like you know your dad gets sick and he needs to be rescued you're sticking around with him right of course then you have the whole family with you so the whole family needs to get in the helicopter oh yeah and that's

gotten that's money for fuel but what they were doing was they were charging each person in the helicopter for chartering the helicopter of course rather than just a ride in a chartered helicopter no they fucked everybody get me by ticket yeah yeah yeah yeah so it was like they're really going after a 171 out of 1,248 rescues they seemed appear to be fake and so they just been ripping people off

dude and they got caught and fraud that it came out to 19.69 million is what they're expecting but

now they're getting sued by the Nepalese government for 1.5 billion in a restitution god damn I mean

“like this is just one of those where if you want to go and do this thing in order to get your”

fucking picture yeah and do all it's like I don't know what to tell you you should research yeah you're sure put company better yeah man or are you just cath man don't do it can't man can do sometimes a can't man do sometimes can't man don't um all right one more story that I really liked and we'll get out of here after that um elder abuse is I hate when people take advantage of the elderly and steal their money it makes me insane yeah if you're going to do

something to the elderly make sure you you make them vote first oh no don't you can't take them away I gunpoint yeah so an elderly California couple this is out in Riverside this woman she fell for an elder in elder scam which is hard to do I mean well this is the thing tell like I had to sell someone money this week because it was like a death and uh is a hitman fee or yeah it was a hitman fee and but the zeal made me like promise that I knew this person like four times before

they sent the money honestly as they should and they should I was very impressed by zeal but this lady she was on Facebook and someone impersonating Tom Selick kept hitting her up for money first it was eighty bucks and it was eight hundred bucks and then you mentioned Tom Selick asking you personally for eighty dollars that dude's got so much thinking money he is in the way also if you knew anything

about his lifestyle and knew that Tom Selick has creed he has this incredible life and which he

rolls into his job and which he makes multiple million dollars and he fucking goes into he sits he's like a two day a week where he just he doesn't stand and any of the scenes he literally sits and every scene dude it was good talk to you and how and uh and and one-on-one and crime one-on-one he did I soon at first time I saw him I whispered to Julie I was like I bet he doesn't stand the entire movie and he did nope because that's the part of it he's like

“I sit now that's what I do I fucking sit and so Tom Selick then going on to Instagram which also”

then funny and then also him hitting you up and then hitting you asking you for eighty dollars does seem to be insane you know he was the first time and then it got up to eight hundred and then it was like a charity event and then his like managers like sundae apparently and so she keeps like she falls completely victim to it she's like they starts to get like little sexy the messages he starts to flirt a little bit at the point of how Tom said like lies the throw it down

yeah so our husband cuts her off completely not like he doesn't kick her out of the house or anything but like he cuts her off completely we find that she gave us something like a hundred grand or something like something insane amount of money but it was a lot of money and it was obviously fake and she was obviously getting taken for a ride but she believed in a whole heartily sweet took away her credit cards took away this took away that and then she starts asking her friends

for money to give to Tom Selleck and so we're in a friend's like hey listen just want to let you know what she's doing so the guy he had it up to here murder suicide Jesus fucking Christ he did it yeah oh for some reason I thought it was the lady who did it no the husband murder she was embarrassed and he was sick of losing because when you're old you have no income anymore

“no if you're just give that's why oh it's gone because it's so bad because like it's all the”

money these people gonna have for the rest of their life oh yeah the money is stealing and there's stealing it still so the guy like lost his fucking mind and then she started asking his friends and that was the final straw because he was embarrassed on top of being broke into just fucking after and killed himself Jesus fucking Christ I had no idea it was him while you know in the end it is super embarrassed to be cugged by fake Tom Selleck it's very embarrassing yeah

my mom my mom is still got that that's the one I think that has got the open invitation to

“fucker oh my mom would have done anything for Tom Selleck my mom I think would become a dirty”

evil fucking gross horror for Tom Selleck oh yeah I mean like I think that she'd become like one of the like she'd become like a dad like a fucking grimey fucking street woman for Tom Selleck is a famous detective he should solve this crime and find out who's doing this can we email Tom Selleck yeah Tom Selleck I don't know any of the Tom Selleck got a Gmail honey isn't that big he was very hot God look at that fucking cock that's the size Jesus Christ he was a real man yeah there's a

real man that's a real man that's a real man that's a real man Tom Selleck he was like 28 and that

about blown away yeah I know he's the guy is dead feeling gay he's real I get it Tom Selleck would

break Timmy Timothy Shameleys arms off oh yeah that's a magnum PI magnum PI he's got a magnum dad is having him having sex with Timothy Shameleys and I wish he would have fucked my mom yeah

“that would have been great I'm really would have would you fuck my mom Tom Selleck Tom Selleck are”

you listening to this oh you want a Facebook how busy are you yeah can you email me can you are an NYPD blue you probably have the call sheet still blue but oh blue blood that's right blue yeah is email to it's Tom it's Tom yeah he's got yeah Tom Selleck wanted Gmail what was that movie he was in that I love mr. baseball I love mr. baseball do you think Tom Selleck would be happy like almost in a way that they still got this much juice

he read that every time he still like got he exists he pops right back in the news dude and he must actually quit have you told him just being like shoot cold him for me maybe like oh oh those all for me you're one of the cool things I've ever heard still got it killing of course of course he wants Tom everybody does right everybody of course he was jealous all hell he was jealous even just fake me you know that's got to be the thing he was

jealous of fake Tom Selleck yeah it was real Tom Selleck he would have bomb the neighborhood yeah I meant to give Tom Selleck actually was trying to fuck his wife was that the oh Jesse stole that was the character he'd played all the time now just obsessed with his career freedom out of the baby yeah no he's a very good he was also supposed to be fucking in the Anna Jones yeah he was he would have been a good indie and that takes a lot for me to say he would have

been a great indie but no but no no he's not the same he's not the same he did uh Dr. Quinn Medicine woman oh all right now we're just going through his power it is but we're just naming things a fucking Tom Selleck the daughters of Satan yeah but you starring Tom Selleck yeah you know that's probably my fucking bad why all right so I got it I've got a couple of the it like here let's do this uh I get a little serene now there's little serene now

see sure fuck you want to hear something oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah it's time for this a very mouth yeah not bad yeah that's where we found that one I know I like it yeah I like it too you can hear some more than once you okay no let's read this you know let's do this you you know I'm so fucking lovely not everything's a fucking Travis he might do my body's time you got to see Mandalorian grow go oh yeah so I can really find my jerk off on a theater

“again that's what I need to see honestly yeah because there's nothing I love better than a little”

gremlin come on in his own mouth here he's the eat he does yeah guide herbs back in 2012 my college roommate now I went to Halifax for Jenin to visit my parents and hang out for the weekend my dad changed smoked in the house so me and my buddy spent most of her time outside

we toss a vocal around for a while in the backyard and really never went at all in except

the grabbed me a couple of my stepdad's buds from the fridge oh yeah look yeah my friend Chad mentioned now a remote of a place we were in and how cool would be this is some of the awful walls shit out in the country I agreed we focused on seeing something for a minute and laughed it off I will say I have to do some classes in transcendental meditation for a couple of semesters by then although the complete unique and relaxed feeling as we did that I really did feel very connected

afterwards anyways one of our friends was having a shindig across the county that night so stop drinking bruise early so we could be too legit 20 year olds driving across Halifax

out by a died we were considering leaving was talking about boy when I saw white light illuminating

“his face I turned around and there was a white orb glowing in the woods but then parents house”

but 50 yards away we looked at each other scared out of our minds and motion back towards the light and it suddenly exploded it almost looked like a transformer exploding we treated glances back and forth like what the fuck was that I don't know is that we were my orb it's my orb then we heard slow deliberate footsteps from the direction of the orb something tall was walking to the tree branches and my dogs woke up and ran towards the sound when they went we ran to the house and

climbed over six foot carport wall to get in and we immediately locked all the doors and close the blinds I went to my parents room to grab their pistol under the mattress whoa meanwhile my dog suddenly like they were attacking something and they made their way around the front of the house my mom woke up earplugs in blinders on and they was digging my arm in a mattress and here in

“the dog was going from bark and a whale in the front of the house and as soon as he was up the”

dogs were quiet she walked to the front doors we begged her not to and all three of the dogs were

asleep in the back of the golf cart and we had to drive around the farm and they never did anything

ever before after I don't know spirit ship why don't you get a gun it's an orb yeah but you shoot like but dig was walking in the truck and the fucking forest so we thought he might have to shoot something come to the forest or at least then he'd be able to reach and finally kill something no and I noticed a lot of my pictures that the Grand Canyon had orbs in them yeah yeah look at this one and that's the sun no that's the sun oh no that's a reflection of the sun on your face

but there's but it's in a lot of different ones yeah I mean I might be just depends on the camera do I just have a pack camera yes dude everyone just have a pack camera maybe it's possible

“when you'll have to find out on our patreon patreon dot com slash last podcast on the left and you”

could watch our shows and his door's rose ad for you don't have to do that feature on our patreon yeah go take a look at that all right make sure you live every day wondering if today's the day I'm gonna see something weird and watch an orb explode in front of me and then you can laugh when it doesn't happen because it's just inside of the film of your camera and you can love the fact that you might need to go get a new camera and that's right also we're gonna be hitting the road

this weekend we're gonna be in Rochester it's sold out very excited bro I am excited radio social sounds awesome that everyone's talking about how they're so excited to just give us food the this like the first time the venue like keeps reaching out to like make sure that like we're

happy and okay no I've never had that very it's very nice it's very very very very very excited

to come to Rochester the day before on May 29th we're gonna be in Pittsburgh come and see us in Pittsburgh there's only four JK Ultra's left we got Pittsburgh this Friday Grand Rapids on June 27th Tulsa Oklahoma on July 17th in Oklahoma City on July 18th also you and I are gonna be doing a side stories in London Ontario on June 28th and I have to be the murder capital of Canada really yeah so what they have like one last decade we'll find out yeah and so we're gonna be going there

and very excited about that and then side stories doesn't have anything on the books until Craigwood oh no yeah and then we will find out we will definitely have this show so yeah that we're gonna put some stuff in the world but yeah as of right now but please come see my stand up I go to all dates are gonna be eddytunes.com but on June 7th I'm gonna be in Phoenix that the desert ridge improv that's gonna be a lot of fun I'm bringing Amber and Julie to that one and then on

July 10th Bethlehem PA Salute Bethlehem that's gonna be July 12 Newark July 13th NYC City winery that's gonna be with Kirsten Michelle Sills and then July 19th Plano Texas and July 26th the

comedy store here in LA my first headline at the comedy store yeah yeah you might see Henry there

and then I'll just first I'm gonna be in Chicago at the Lincoln Modge lots of more dates go to eddytunes.com to see me I'm coming to a bunch of cities in October I'm fucking booking it up I'm very excited about this that's fucking great yeah um y'all fucking be good you take care of yourselves and thank you to the person who sent us the DeForve it signed vine yeah the songs you sent me the DeForve it signed vinyl thank you notes right up there yeah yeah yeah yeah so yeah we

have someone mailed us a vinyl of DeForve signed by him I would do we know if it's really signed by him it is yeah because we also thank you Richie Richie thank you for giving DeForve money for this I think he already had it and then he was like I need to get this out of my house either way I appreciate

and don't worry it'll never be played yeah hey all Ryan Porter again I miss him yeah all right peace out everybody