Side Stories: Gilgo Guilty

That's one of the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes.

“Edil Arsan, I just inserted to be here with you.”

Oh my god, we got Malania Trumpas in the building. It's most of interview, it's most of interview. Oh no, I forgot my panties. Oh no. Where are they?

Oh, I found them in this girl. No, I have to ask, you know, while I got you in the room. Did he? Um, what? What is it?

I hear that there's rumors about you being a spy. No. What do you mean, though? No, I will come out now to face all of these inflammatory rumors, and lies about the porcelain of the American state.

No.

And the porcelain I would say never spy.

I think never spy. I can't see. I know here I know speed. Also you were just a normal sex worker. Dream monkeys.

Dream monkeys. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. You don't really care. Do you? No, no, no, no. I just, all I know is that Nalt has the most wonderful touch around my bosoms.

Yeah. And he absolutely loves my full grown 57-year-old body.

“What is your favorite part about your husband's body?”

I love his soul. Oh, yeah. Yes, mom. Just so you know, physically attracted? No.

Very personally attracted to him. He's spirit. And he's attitude. How do you get him in the mood? Now that you're like in your 50s.

You know, how do you get him in the mood? Still, how do you get the spark cohorts? I kill a girl in front of him. Oh, yeah. You kill like every Christmas day.

I tell him every morning. We wake up. I say Merry Christmas, Nalt. And he says, "Oh, you're good, good, good, good. You're still not Nalt." I get my bring it, my ball. I bring him a child in the rapping paper. And we can't off his face.

Oh, yeah. He's all, yeah.

I can't tell long hair, but never see genitals.

And then they go and the Nalt gets so hard. So hard, 15 seconds. I have to hop on it. Yeah. Hop on it.

Just get the really good going. I kill you. I can't. I don't have sex with him. I can't. You know me.

So is Baron, um, is Baron his? No, I'm Baron. Oh, you're fair. Oh, I understand now. Yeah, yeah.

You named the child after your own vagina. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, now that he has empty teeth. Yes. What about Baron, my sweet beautiful boy?

My sweet beautiful boy. Soon to be killed in Iran. Oh, it's so nice. Yeah, it's very exciting. Oh, my god.

Jump. Jump. Get your own. Get your own. Jump.

Go. Go. Welcome to side stories. We're sending everybody to Iran. Hi, my name is Henry Zabraos.

I'm sitting here with Ed Larsson. I know you thought I was Malania. You're, whoa, oh my god. It's Henry. Yep. Oh, my god.

Same cup size. Oh, man. See, I was, no one in this. It was the beard that threw me. Oh, she's, his beard.

Yeah, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, god, I wish he was gay. How much more fun would Trump be if he was gay? Oh, my god.

Now, Malania Trump, the reason why we're even talking about our lovely first lady is

the fact that right after we recorded last week, which is. Part of the course here. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, Wednesday's a big news day, but still we don't care. I don't know how to fix this issue.

We, we can't change when we record because we're locked into the schedule. We can't just continue to record. I guess we can record multiple days a week and then just put them all together. Yeah, right. We just couldn't make sense.

Trying to see if we hit the news randomly. Yeah. And then we could cobble the episode together. Why don't we, we could just start guessing. Oh, god, love.

“Honestly, we should save a minute after each episode.”

For what might happen when this episode is released. So when we released last week's episode, we had done a little bit of an update. Let's hit it right now. It's an island adventure. Heck yeah, it's Jeffrey time.

It's a adventure. Let's go. Now, the last week, we, we covered a little bit. And we were like, oh, I just, I distinctly remember at the end of our conversation, we were like, oh, and then Malania put out this nothing burger

statement saying I did nothing wrong. And then had it nowhere.

And that turned a whole world upside down again.

Because it seems like for a second, we had stop talking about Jeffrey

Epstein. And you know, I'm even angry that we even stopped for a second. Yeah, well, like, I'm disappointed in me that we stopped for a fucking minute. You got it.

I mean, what we talk about in our real life. But occasionally, it's just got to be aggravating to everybody. Well, the war obviously became more entertaining to everybody. We had a purposely. I'm sorry.

Let me take that back. It's an operation that we just did randomly. Yeah, that had no point to it. Right. And we're just destroying our economy with it in order to distract from the

Jeffrey Epstein story.

“Which I think is really interesting because then his wife,”

our president's wife, unprompted, came out to the front of the White House, did a press conference. Just to basically say, I had nothing to do with Jeffrey Epstein. All of those pictures that you're about to see. Or have been made up.

I have never done this.

I never slept with Jeffrey Epstein.

I never, I didn't do this. I came here. She kind of did a little mini summary of her history for some reason. Sounded real innocent. Real innocent.

I always thought he's not an actor. She's not an victim, but that means she's involved. Right. She did very. I am on the management.

He said, I do a bit of the, I am kind of a, would you say, a spiritual advisor. And so, but Melania opened up a Pandora's box that has been just wonderfully, wonderfully, open thank you. Thank you, Melania.

Because it gives us an opportunity to ask these questions now. Because Melania decided to just bring Epstein back up into the fucking daylight and she asked for more investigations. And she asked for the US government to listen to the victims. Now, this is after it is interesting that she says that.

And we still mad at her. It's the first time anyone said that. What? Because you know why?

“It's because obviously she's doing this for bad reasons.”

Yeah. She's a Melania Trump of you don't know. Did, you know, was this in the dock? No. No.

No. The dock? Like, did the dock have mostly to do with her, like, choosing plants in order. Yeah, I think, I don't know.

I didn't give it money. I mean, it was directed by Brett Ratner. Oh, we know. Yeah. You know what?

Action scenes. You know how to be in, like, do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Do you think that happened? Last time I saw Brett Ratner in person, you know, who he was hanging out with. Oh, Jordan Belfer.

Oh, I met Jordan Belfer. He is an interesting character. And an absolute con person. But for those of you that don't know. So Melania Trump, she apparently met Donald Trump.

She was like, like, introduced by this, the Italian Trump, Paolo's ample. We brought him up on the show a couple weeks ago. We're like, what about this guy? We were interested about this guy. And we didn't know, right?

So I guess about two months ago. So one big question here is like, all right. So Melania Trump brought out all of this stuff, right? She immediately, she said, I wasn't guilty of all of these things. Immediately, we're all like, why she doing this?

She trying to get ahead of something. The first thing that the immediate point to two was the story about Paolo's employees. Maybe wife, girlfriend wife.

“We couldn't quite know their exact relationship, I believe, right?”

But we know that they had like a common law relationship, which led to a child custody battle. Now, the first thing that happened two months ago. Story came out from a woman by the name of Amanda Ungaro. Yes.

Amanda Ungaro, who was Paolo's employees, wife, girlfriend. It seems like wife because they're having a custody battle over his, their children. Yeah. She was a model that was like turned into his, you know, like they've been together. He picked her up at 16.

Yes. And a developed turn to a wife. Yes.

Which isn't a super crucial because that's what he did.

He's a real estate developer. Well, he started in real estate. Well, no, he didn't. He started as a toy developer. He was a toy company that he sold his father's toy company to get into the very famous,

you know, famously lucrative market of model agency. He just started a modeling agency immediately. It's a perfect, fucking fat Italian fuck. He's exactly what you think. I'm not going to let it.

I'm not going to let it. I'm not going to let it. I'm going to let it. I'm going to let it. I'm going to let it.

I'm going to let it. I'm going to let it. I'm going to let it. It's a little baby. I'm going to let it.

I'm going to let it. I'm going to let it. And so he went. He was involved with. So this is where this first story starts.

Like maybe Melania is trying to get in front of this Ungaro story. And which she came out and she said that the United States government, somebody tipped off ice in the middle of their custody battle. Yeah. And she was picked up by ice in Goro.

And then sent back home in the middle of their custody battle. And she reached out to Melania and said, "We're friends. Why aren't you helping me?" She eventually then took to Twitter to say,

"I'm now going to come out and tell the whole world everything I know about your relationship with Paolo." Yes.

Which we're all like, "Oh, maybe she's trying to get in front of this story with her statement." But this story is two months old. Yeah.

“So Melania effectively kicked the story up.”

She did it. She is elevated. We wouldn't be paying attention to this at all. No. It was already out there.

So now we know that that's the expression. So then I was watching an interview with Michael Wolff, our favorite fucking reporter. He was saying, which I thought was interesting, is that he was wondering if the statement had anything to do with the direct accusations.

He made on a podcast about Epstein sleeping with Melania before Donald Trump and them met. So this was a big thing with Melania.

She got really, really upset sent him a billion-dollar defamation suit

through the White House's lawyers. He's been fighting it. Basically saying, "We're allowed to say whatever we want about you guys." Essentially, we can conjecture. We can think about this.

But also, it is a state-faclic seriously. I mean, so far, he's done to do all this. But he was wondering if it had something to do with his own personal battle with Melania, because now Melania is suing him. They're trying to take it up to federal court.

But he's also saying, "That doesn't make any sense either, because we're already in the middle of this thing." Why, what is she trying to get in front of? Don't know.

“Is she just saying it because she's so fucking putting brain”

to just like her husband that she's just thinking that "It is not time for me to make my stand. Who knows? It could be that too." It could be very much her just deciding random.

They being like, "I just heard about these things, and I must tell you worked." Because she knows she's one of the people doing those things. I can see a world where she knows this exists, but has completely removed herself from society

and television just walks around the White House and fucking... Well, she doesn't... They say that when she comes to the White House, it's like a visiting head of state. She doesn't live there.

She lives in the town or in New York. Yeah, she lives in New York. She doesn't... She is a New York resident, essentially. She lives with her... A giant... Soon to be murderers on.

And they do a whole... God knows what they do in that point. From when I heard she's banging one of the Tiffany's guards that works in those store downstairs. Good for her.

It's what I hear. Go for her. But all of this shit is to be said, is that no one knows what actually happened. So, it seems that Melania, overall of this discussion,

has been intensely controlling over her timeline and where she came from and what she did. When she was a young woman,

“like, going into research of her life is very interesting”

because there are no modeling books, even though we know her as a model. Quarantine model.

But she was never a super model.

Right? She just did some gigs. She did a couple things here and there. There was a... Now she got connected to Paolo's employees. I have a dance set. Dance set for money.

She was... Yeah, she's a brat. But it's not what they were saying. So we don't know. She called herself a model. She got linked up with these various guys.

It seemed that Epstein... She had a massive camel ad in 1997, which was her big break in America. Okay. Up until then, she had a very little.

Like, if you look at the Paolo's employees like her modeling agency, then was she the camel? She... She just didn't really got them to us. But they...

Paolo's... Like, we don't know whether or not she got this gig because of Epstein or Paolo's employee. Hopefully it was Paolo's employee, because he's supposed to be a modeling agent. But it seems that she came over to the United States of America

on this Einstein visa. She has a absolutely fake architecture design degree. None of that is real. You know that that's fake.

We have no idea how she got this Einstein visa. So she's not redesigning the baller? No, Eddie. No. I think... I think about ideas.

And done a comment. Had tiny hand to know. Tiny hand to know. And so... Because it could be that she got this gig

through Jeffrey Epstein, because as she was coming over, it seemed that Paolo's employee had already handed her over to Jeffrey Epstein. Jeffrey Epstein and Paolo were all...

Investing in the same modeling agencies over in Europe. Who also was Donald Trump? They all moved in the same circles. Donald Trump is a professional tuck. He loves having sex with other friends' wives.

That is a thing that Michael Wolf has said. He loves he is a professional at sloppy seconds. He loves knowing that a guy he likes has made love to a woman first, because he's just...

Interesting guy. And so Jeffrey Epstein, probably hinted to him about Melania. Now again, where does Melania come from?

This little town in Slovenia. Our old boyfriend, a guy by the name of it's like, "Lurgerschnerchnik." I kind of drew a Zorchek.

He is her like... His old Slovenia boyfriend. It was like a rich guy back there. And he was like...

She never talked about America.

She was going to be here.

and live the fashion life in Europe. Then easygoing kind of flitting between worlds.

“And I think that Donald Trump sort of promised”

her the same thing. You're going to come in here. I'm going to get you some of these modeling gigs. You're going to have an easy life for the rest of your life. And I think that Melania was really interested in that.

And also because she's probably a passive spy for any one of these agencies. Now to be a passive spy is really easy. You know what? That would mean that she has some sort of intelligence.

No. You think that a spy is going to be stupid? Yes. All a spy has to do is place a listening device. All a spy has to do is say these are X, Y things I've heard.

That's all a spy's got to do is be embedded and present.

So once you're in there, it's always should be a spy for Russia.

Anybody. Anybody who wants to pay you money to get secrets from inside of the White House. It doesn't... I don't know. But she's been with him for long and I'm just...

Yes. She's been with him long enough where he wasn't even trying to be president. When she went there, we got together. I think that that was probably one of the big contingencies that it would not go farther than this. And then...

I'm just throwing things out there. I like it. No. I'm just... I have no idea.

The main issue is the fact that we have no idea. We have no idea really what her story is. We've tried to put it together. We don't quite know where she came from. But it does seem that she probably...

But who knows? Now we might get sued by the White House. Hopefully. Because that'd be great. Yeah.

Honestly, we need the numbers.

Where they sue us are... ...serious and Netflix. Hopefully them. Hopefully them. And then we can just be like, "We're the largest."

No, I'm not supposed to know. You know, I don't know. I'm supposed to... You know, we don't know if this is true. And I've just asked him questions.

Yes. Well, we just... I'm now deeply invested in what Melania knows. And what she's going to do about it. Yeah.

Well, she obviously knows something. She was on the plane. Plenty of reports of her banging Trump on the plane. And that's how we met. But now we're talking about now the...

She met through Paulo's Ampoule. Well, she fake that this Kit Kat club meeting. Yeah. The whole famous meeting where she met. And that Donald Trump asked her for her number.

And she said, "No, you gave me yours."

And then he gave her his number. Because he was separated from his wife at the time. And he was like, "Oh, yeah, sure." And then everyone joked with Melania. And I was reading an article from 2017 about Melania about how they met.

“And they weren't joking with her being like, "Oh, what is it about Donald?”

You love? Is it the tiny hands? Is it the comb over?" And she said, "No, he's a real man." Oh, god. Which is not true. Yeah.

Meg barely got it up. You can barely get it up. He's got a little tiny penis. He can't walk, and he has to drink water with two hands. Yeah.

So he's definitely... He's a real, like... He's in terms of, like, he farts and chits and pisses and shit. Real men, really. You usually don't punch 13 girls in the face while they're giving them head. No, never.

Real men usually don't do that. No. [laughter] No, you know, you didn't know. Normally wake up screaming from that horrible drink.

Yeah. Also, what I wanted to get into a little bit was Jeffrey Epstein's connections into Chip Priyani's and sooho house. All of this shit. I love sooho house.

Off the list. Come on. No. Chip Priyani's is like, it was the favorite place of Trump. Like Johnny Browale.

I can't hear them grow well. I can't hear them grow well. Epstein. Epstein. Paulo's ampoli.

All of these prostitutes went through Chip Priyani. All of these sex were people were literally traffic through the restaurant. They were traffic through sooho house. Also, Jeffrey Epstein was specifically giving, hooking people up with Chip Priyani and sooho house memberships as a way

to, like, as little thank yous. That's why they're so expensive.

“That's why they're filled with fucking dickheads.”

Oh, predators. Well, fave. Yeah. Good thing about dickheads and predators. I don't talk to you when you're around.

You see, that's the thing. Is this a treat? It's going get your work done. And they'll shut up. It might be true.

It's like, oh, if you've ever been into a Delta lounge or Milwaukee, you understand what that means, right? Because it's Midwest businessman. Fucking chat. Yup.

Epstein. All they want to do is, yeah. Yeah, yeah, but about whatever garbage it is. I'm going to tell you about plastic. It'd be like, I'd rather be dead.

I'd rather be dead. Fucking dead. Tell me you're human trafficker. At least that's interesting. But that's why I didn't go to Sooho house.

Man, you've been to Sooho house. I'm not a member. I'm not a member either. But, you know, I think it's more of because I couldn't afford it. But, hey, Eddie.

Now you can afford to be a pervert. But, yeah, I guess that's really all I wanted to get into because, and then, but also all this comes from Michael Wolff. Michael Wolff, though, I think is interesting in the fact that he knows more than anybody. And, uh, whatever you think about him and his call on this is just straight up.

We have no idea what that press conference meant. And we have not gotten any answers yet.

So, she saw someone like showed her some pictures that they found. Maybe. She also, because it was a member, she said that she didn't know what just lane, I mean, we'll cut through the email that we have just lane call on her sweet pea. And they all like, you know, they're little things back and forth.

There was a bunch of stuff deleted. She's, Malania is a fucking liar as well. Of course. So, Malania is also not that brilliant of a liar.

I also thought it was amazing.

As one of the big holes in her history came from several photographers saying, the thing that's interesting about Malania is that, yes, she's objectively beautiful. She's a beautiful editorial face. But they were all like, she's shockingly bad at modeling. Yeah.

She's bad at the job. Well, she doesn't, she only has one face. Well, she doesn't, she just has a beer. She kind of smiles in these old ones, but most of them have something. They all specifically said she didn't have the fucking chops to be a model.

So, all of these guys had a hell shed to fuck this guy. Yes.

“I think that, honestly, Malania does not want to talk about her main goal in life”

was to fuck a Donald Trump and to just allow that life to coast for her. But that's not a crime, Malania. It's not a crime to be a lazy woman. Yes. Okay.

It's not a crime. You could have lived that life and guess what? None of us would have heard of you. And you would be having the time of your life right now. And Malania, I have a tip for you, divorce him.

Give me that meal. Do it right now. Go divorce him. I mean, right. She got to be careful.

I mean, like one of his ex-wife's random. We fell down the stairs. Mysteriously. No. She's buried on this property.

You can't even call him. Malania is on that reformer every three days. Malania has a sense of balance. Malania, you know where the bodies are buried. This is your time, Malania.

This is your freedom. This is, I'm calling to Malania. Oh, yes. No, no, no. You can get out.

You can get out, man. Call to Amanda on Garo, man. Call Amanda. I want to know everything she knows. I want to say she could bring the whole thing down.

I wanted to do it. Well, yeah. Where are we at? What the fuck are you? What do you mean?

It's like, now, what's it? What are you distorting them? With a quickness. Now, I don't like you because you would just tell us if you fucking knew if you were doing the right thing.

She's not even extorting them because she would have gotten the money already. They were very fine with paying people for a while. Yeah. But also, they deported her. Yeah.

They deported her. And she should have immediately been doing the things. The fact that she said a detention camp. Yep. And the fact that she's not spilling the beans is also really interesting,

which shows that Paolo's ampoli is something on her. And I also think that guy's probably pretty fucking dangerous. Because Jeffrey Epstein said so as much as when he was talking with a Russian spy about the about hanging out with the ampoli. And he said, be very, very careful hanging out with him.

And then he followed up with, he always tells stories to the press.

Interesting. So there we go. Now we're talking. Now we're here. Now the stories are coming out.

The stories are getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And Melania brought it back up from the dead. And I want to say thank you. I want to say something I noticed about this email. Melania sent a just line.

And I noticed a lot of the people always call Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, but like, I would never be like, you know, HZ. You know, I would never be like, I'm not a billionaire. Yeah, yeah. But you say Jeff, you say Mr. Epstein.

You know, like, you know, there are a lot of it's weird. I feel like that is a rich person's affectation. Yeah.

“I think that's a rich person's affectation.”

Yeah, because that's a bizarre thing to me. I never really understood that. But I like our buddy Billy Wayne. I'm going to start calling him BW. Bdubs.

BW is a good name. Wow. Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

We're going to be with him in Alaska this weekend. I'm very excited. We still got some tickets left for Fairbanks in Portland. Yeah, come up to the fucking middle. There's nowhere and also Portland.

Where are we at in Portland? We're at the siren. That's right. On 420. Yeah, we're getting stoned in Portland.

Do you come out? We're going to be so fucking high. Yeah, we're going to. Yeah, it's going to be great. I'm your great.

All right. Let's get into some other news. Eddie. We have again another big update. We got two big updates.

Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah. So we got it.

“I think this shows mostly updates today.”

People updates, but also new fucking information that it does come to light because of the updates. Rex here, man. Yeah, this is the biggest one. I've been wanting to talk about this for so long.

This is a story. I've been kind of avoiding because you haven't let me. And now we can. Yes, good. Well, the reason why I was avoiding it was because I wanted to like,

get some closure on it before we talked about it. Because everybody was already calling him guilty. There was all of these documents on his face and body. He's just gay. He's just gay.

He's a literal evidence. Fucking monster. I mean, there was so much evidence. So this one of the scariest people I've ever seen in my life. He is a view is a very scary individual.

Rex, you're a man.

He has come out and he has finally pled guilty to eight murders.

He is lisk. We know that the gigal beach for that was when he was first arrested as a suspect. And these four women that had went for sex workers that were found on Gilgobation 2010. And then from then on, like, lisk kind of went away. Lisk went away.

There where they didn't know quite what he was doing. And in turn, that he was hiding in plain sight. Well, Rex, you're a man. He's a six foot eight, three hundred and thirty pound. Fucking, hooking, swollen eye beast.

Who is a evil fuck? He came out and he basically just let. Enough, his voice is amazing. Yeah.

“His voice is when they were like, do you believe guilty?”

Tough, tough, tough, tough, tough. Yes, tough, tough. He's just trying to sign defenseless. Yeah, tough, tough. No, because they knew also when they first accused him he cried.

And he was like, I would never do it.

But it seems that, you know, there were so much fucking evidence. First of all, there was the, How did he get a, it's so crazy that someone so massive could get away with murdering people. You so long. You know what I find interesting is.

This is, I think, why it took so long. And then why they work so fucking hard to nail his ass after the facts. Rex, you're a man lived on Long Island surrounded by police. You boys with the cops hung out at them all the time. His number one subject of the thing that he was fascinated with was serial killers.

Rex, you're a man is one of those guys. That's a fan boy. He was a full fan boy of somebody specific at Comper and another big boy. And so what he did was he read the book Mine Hunter. And he got really into reading about Ed Kemper and he learned from Ed Kemper.

He learned from Ed Kemper about how when he understood Ed Kemper to, you know, For fact, guys myself, like whenever I see a lineman pick up the ball and start running for the end zone, I get so excited. I mean, same. I miss fat actors.

Yeah. I just many fat actors. I miss fat ugly actors.

Yeah, no, I'm always rooting for.

So every time and so Ed Kemper six foot again eight nine and one is it was nine. He, he, he was called the co-ed killer. He was one of those. He'd be around UCLA. He murdered his mother.

He deported her. He would do dry runs. He's so basically Rex, you're a man, learn from him from this monster. Number one, Ed Kemper knew that his size white make women nervous. So he began to do dry runs where he would see how women would react.

If he put him into the car and then drove them past where he told them he was going to take them. Because he would pick up patriikers. So that's the first experiment. He would try to see these things just to see what people would do. Rex, you're a man, new.

That's like science experiments. Yes. That's like hypothesis mixed with, you know.

“Yes, all you have to be is a tremendous loser.”

Yeah. And you can devote a lot of hours into killing women. Like, you just have to be not have anything else going on. You know what I mean? You just have to be a talentless fat-faced loser in cell, right?

Yeah. So Rex, you're a man learned from this because which is interesting. Because he had a wife in kids, but it was enough. He's a sexual sadist. So he's one of those guys that kills and tortures for fun.

Like he likes to do that is the pleasure that comes. We like, it's all of the women they found were like mutilated in shit. Well, they were taken apart because he was moving the body. Okay. This is one of those interesting things.

I don't really know much about this whole case to be honest with you. So it is, we now know it's eight sex workers. Probably 12. That one murdered. They were left along the Gogo Beach area along Island for the last like 20 years.

Yeah, it's a long time.

So they have been, once they finally nailed him.

How they nailed him was that they put his very specific car. At two separate scenes. He had bought this giant man's car. Yeah, he was killing a camera. It's a yes.

But he could fit in a camera. So we had a green avalanche. Have you seen an avalanche? No. Look at the show at Rob.

An avalanche. It's an extremely specific big man's car. Especially in Long Island, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. Fucking car.

And it was forest green. That was the first thing. They then. It's pretty cool. They tracked him back to his house.

So according to police, whether you believe this or not. They put a stop on reporting of list because they were like in their minds. What do you think? It does make sense. He's like, they look, we wanted to risk the go to sleep.

We wanted to list the go to sleep so that when he went to sleep, we could go look for him, right? Because we're going to put the pressure on, which is what he did. They hit a bunch of stuff behind. They eventually pulled all these things together.

“They found out about this giant man in an avalanche, right?”

Because at first, they didn't know whether or not avalanche was his nickname. And then they finally realized it was a car, right? Because they kept saying avalanche. They tied him to that. They followed him for a while.

They see that he's this big huge lumbering guy.

And they take a piece of pizza crust that he had left behind, right?

Which is why you always eat your crust.

Oh, is it your crust?

“Yeah, I know you're trying to cut your carbs there, right?”

That's not the time, man. That's a good pizza. It's good pizza. It's good pizza. It's good pizza.

It's good pizza. And so the cops basically corroborated the DNA from the pizza. He was the piece of hair. He was the crust to sit in his car. No, he had they followed him.

Because he had out the window like a cigarette. No, he put in a trash can. Oh, okay. And they picked it out of the trash can. And so they, he had so much evidence again.

So that when they got him, they actually worked. The plan worked. He had went to sleep. So they got everything. They got all the hard drives, all the cars, all the cell phones.

He had no time to get rid of anything. He had so much fucking evidence on him. Between the planning document. They had a whole planning document. And it all of the things he wrote down.

What did he burn those? He even wrote on the planning document. Destroy planning document. Oh. Because he's a fucking moron.

He's a fucking idiot. He's a whole guy that think that they're smarter than they are. Because he's your list. People, you make the list for a reason. Get to the end of it once you cross it all off.

Then you celebrate. Then the list is done. I was looking at this one really interesting video that came from a podcast called Sinister with John Zaman. I don't really know what very well.

But this guy came on Mark Sepharic, who was an FBI profile. He does an hour long uninterrupted talk about Rex Furman. And he said, one of the things that's interesting about sexual status is because they take a lot of time. BTK. Green River Killer.

Like he became like they take a lot of time and kill a resident idiot. But they all take, you don't have to be an idiot to plan. Yeah. Right. You have to be a genius to plan.

You know, you just need time.

And so at first, our list.

He was spending a lot of time planning. And this guy, this FBI profile, as if you notice. The bodies go from farthest point to closest point. So you could see his very first kill. He drove as far out as he could because he was scared because he was scared.

But then you watch him get more comfortable with each kill. And then you watch him see exactly where he put the body, which I thought was really interesting. He's like, "Sira killers don't use curves and roads. They don't use blind hills. Then use these things.

You want a flat stretch of road in which you can see miles down either way of a highway for hours at night." Gotcha. So it's like this stuff was very interesting. You don't want to far go situation.

No. And sexual status also the planning is also part of the king. It's a part of the whole sexual thing. So he became his whole life. And then I do think it was also interesting that the FBI profile are fine.

It's like normally too with sexual status. They die out. Like in terms of their crime, their criminality dies out. Like around the age of 50. When they can start going into it.

Yeah. And that when they start losing the wand, you start to see go. And you see it here too, around 47 years old. Rex, you're a man. He can't even get it up for murder anymore.

Yeah. So he's probably, I'm sure, his heart is fucking, heart's all clogged and shit. Yeah, he's big fat piece of shit. You could hear him like, that's one of the worst parts of the, when he comes in to plead guilty, was that you just hear man.

He's got that James Gandalfini resting snore. Oh.

“You know, like, you ever see James Gandalfini's last movie?”

Oh yeah. You can hear it on his love. Yeah, they couldn't do nothing about it. There's nothing you could do about it. Or as I said, right?

Yeah. Yes. Where it's, on the same thing, Rex, you're a man standing next to it. You know, towering, big fucking fat, evil, meatball. He's going.

Yeah, we'll just find him dead from sleep apnea in the cell one day. Yeah, he'll die in there. And I think that largely the reason why he pled guilty because he was going to fight it. But I think the reason why he pled guilty is because he didn't want to bring his family into it. He's a family?

Oh, yeah. Well, his daughter was already getting pulled into it. And she was defending him too. Yeah, like because she was just a guy. She was just a goth girl who was into like murder podcast.

Oh, man. She's been working up. She's involved. They were going to destroy her. Oh, man. Well, she's got to be really excited.

But I do find an interest. Yeah. It's finally me. Yeah. It's finally me.

Oh, I knew this would finally happen to me. But yeah, that's a, yeah, that's the Rex you were meant to date. Do we work as mortally? We're going to do a series. Yeah.

There has to be more, right? Oh, well, 12, at least. 20 years. I mean, like, that's less than a year. 20 or 20, it's quite a bit.

Is it? Yes. Okay. As I don't know. I don't understand.

“Like, what would happen is that if you do it like in bundles or did he do it?”

Like, one, never like, year and a half.

It seemed he would do like one, one, one, three.

That's kind of how he did it.

“There's cool down periods between them, too.”

That's part of the whole serial killer thing. And he's he's getting psychological feedback from planning the next one. So Rex, you're a man. We're absolutely going to do a last podcast on the left on him at some point. Just because the idea of somebody being amongst the police

being bedded in police. Is he a construction guy, right? He was an architect. Yeah. He actually had a high, he actually has an architectural degree.

Unlike Malania. He was, you know, he's crazy. Yeah. Wasn't he like respected in the community? He had a job.

He worked in city. Okay. You know, he was like, gotten in credited real architecture guy. Like, he was like a real, you know. That could be bodies like in cement shit.

Who knows? All right. Who knows? He has a lot of, I'm just saying, we got him. He has decided to put himself the bed.

He doesn't get to wear suits anymore. And he's going to be very safe in jail. Yeah. So usually they stick to like their thing, too. His thing was just dropping them off of the beach.

And girls. Yeah. And girls. Yeah.

“He probably, there's a lot of talk about more than likely he went back to visit them.”

Because we now know that that's like a major MO of the sexual artist. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. They go back and spend time with them.

Man. It's so weird. Like, go. You're right, Eddie. It is really weird.

I never thought of it like that before.

Yeah. I mean, because I always look at them from a rational angle. You know, like, I try to look at it like, all right. I'm a serial killer. How would I get away with this?

First thing I would do is not go back to the bottom. We'll get Eddie. You don't want to have sex with these bodies. You're not as you. You're really missing yours.

You're not a serial killer. So that's the problem is that you're missing the motivation. Because that's what it's about. It's up motivation. You're right.

You're right. You're right. All right. We have another update. Oh, my God.

Another fucking update. Finally, this one's brought to you by crime wave and see crime wave and see dot com slash last. It's sponsoring this story because we don't go uncarnable. Yeah. That's right.

We won't do it. Life is a carnival. But not for these people. Um, Florida teen officially is facing a life sentence in the cruise ship killing. Yes, the 16 year old is officially charged with murdering his 18 year old step sister.

So well, we knew this. But the interesting, well, the horrible thing is the update is that she was, yes, and sexually assaulted. So that is in detail. A little bit of, like, I was trying to my best to give this kid like a little bit of, like,

all, maybe it was an accident or rough house. You were really trying. Yeah. And then it was, I can't anymore. No, it's official.

Like, he's a, yeah, he sucks. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Guess what, man. It's too much porn out there, man.

It really, I don't know. We got to know porn's not real. Yeah, I can't help but think about that. Like, how, like, step brother porn and step sister porn, like, has to have something to do with this.

You know, but it doesn't. It doesn't. I don't know, man. I mean, I know that it does. It does.

It does. It does. Well, you know, the thing about it. Why can't you just want to fuck a person you know? It's still legal.

Why doesn't have to be, like, what? It's still crazy legal. I have sex with you, step sibling. Yeah, it's legal. I know, but I just feel like you put all that evil juju in the air.

And this is what happens. It comes back to bite you eventually.

“Well, I think that there's a distinct difference between the presence of porn.”

And somebody becoming so wrapped up in the pornography that they believe that the scenarios are happening for real. And when you're already. When you're a little dude and you have no fucking idea because you're. Because you're a man.

I think I'm become pleats delivery guy. I'm going to get laid all the time. Oh, my step sisters now in the cruise bedroom with me. That I've seen that in three of my websites. I was a plumber.

Yes, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, you see a lot of guys like me.

Yeah, go on. Yeah, the patient's in here. Yeah, we had a long Thanksgiving. Yeah, it was me, Murray. They're liars.

Who is my old buddy? Yeah. Fill the spreader. He's a concrete. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. He gave for gay porn. Yeah, but the set fell. This happened in Florida. So this kid could be fucked.

No, no, no. I thought that it made legal there. Yeah, yeah, you're right. To rape your steps. I thought it was legal there because they said the better was.

It was. She was asking for it by getting involved with the previous marriage. Marriage be them being their parents. It's Northern Florida. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, South Florida. Do you have the deal with that around the the do you have a lot of At the P-Funk Festival. Did you have a lot of stepbrothers and step sisters hanging out there? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the P-Funk Festival. There were no steps. So it will get it. Well, we're not going to attack some of the story. You don't know.

So that that's all the update is is to show that unfortunately bronzes is not real. Yeah, don't let him. It's not real. It's never going to be real. No, you step sisters.

It's okay. They're actors and actresses. But I do think on some level. We should probably steward back to I miss employment base pornography. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you like that. I miss employment base. That's the whole me too. No, but that's fun. Again, Eddie, I'll say this is where I'll maybe even speak to slightly power play dynamics in a sexual situation. Make a lot of sense in terms of simulated sexual play. Those power dynamics is where you would explore those that the in a environment like that. As long as the ladies doing the interviewing, you got it. You got it. I need to disclose your situation. Oh, believe me. Yeah. Oh, no. I've talked about the woman boss.

Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. I don't like the woman secretary. I like the woman boss. I am. I'm all about that. You all know me. Well, this six year old is now facing federal council first degree murder and aggravated sexual abuse.

Bye, bye. Now is first degree the right thing to put on. Yes, very much. Oh, you think so. Yep. It was all planned and sponsored by carnival cruisers.

“And that's the worst part. That's why over the crime wave and see we don't go on carnival because yeah, we like to treat our fans like royalty. That's right.”

Over a royal Caribbean lines truly one of the most beautiful bit one of the most beautiful ships you can be on and some of the best entertainment possible over a crime wave at sea. Well, now that we're done talking about this kid murdering a sister, P. Funfest was wonderful and all right. It was totally legal. Oh, a lot of fun. That is great. And what was your favorite? What was the favorite moment? So I have a couple favorite moments, but I got to say first off shout out to Shanda Clinton and show Shana's desk, they put on an amazing festival. They were so much fun to work with.

So I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was there for like an hour. I'm sitting there. I don't know. I'm just trying to like, you know, I'm trying to win everyone's life. But my favorite moment was when I show up, they're like, okay, so you're leading the ribbon cutting ceremony. I was like, what? And so, and there's a proclamation given to George Clinton from the county of Leon. Is this when you just got off the plane? I was like, I was there for like an hour. I'm sitting there. I don't know. I'm just trying to like, you know, I'm trying to win everyone over somewhere and like George Clinton paint the White House black t-shirt.

And they got me up there with like county commissioners and billionaires and judges and shit, but they're like doing a ribbon cutting ceremony with George and I'm just like doing my best. I curse immediately.

Of course, it's not ready for this at all. And I just like immediately. I'm just like, oh, and then you were starting as festival off with the least funky people in that.

It was great. It was great. We did it. We did the whole thing. And first band came out and then afterwards just like make sure they didn't stick around or anything. I just went on a huge dissent us ran. Yeah. It was like, just let everyone know where we stand. You know, I'm also trying to win everyone over. I should not be a part of this. No, I should not be the MC. No, like the blackest thing I've ever been to.

“No, but it worked out and you were, I was super fan. That's why that's why it kind of worked out.”

It's because I know everything about people. You do know everything about. So it was great. And so then, but the best part was bringing hold in and I made a hold and played this character called frankly on funky cop. Yeah, that was really worth about just getting booed. And so I was just like, you know, I don't have I make it purposeful. Yeah, I was like, what I'll do is I'll bring a foil. That way, I'm not the foil. So I'm like, who do I know that's the biggest foil on earth? Like, holding Neil to make nearly the biggest foil on earth, especially for a crowd of older African American people.

Honestly, I can't believe like I slowly won them over throughout the night. And it's just like,

“Honestly, I've never been so proud of myself. I thought like, at the end of it, hold them and I both looked at each other because we didn't bring it up beforehand.”

I was very scared. It's a lot of responsibility. Yeah, so we had to, so I had this reoccurring bit with hold and replayed frankly on funky cop. And he kept that coming out and like telling people like to stop dancing and don't do drugs and stuff. And then like the second time he came out he had like a bow on and he's like, I hate a cookie. Yeah, I was that fucking chill.

Yeah, I was like, I was like, I'll then then I turned him into Cernos and like he started like dancing. I'll show a video later on the stream next week or something.

He's like, he's like literally like, how like Cernos? I don't know if you last time you see him. He's like always like picks up his shirt and shows his abs.

Yeah, he's like a sexy guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, hold on, my y'all was like, I was like, jerk those, jerk, white shitty white guy.

Oh, I got it. And I saw the video.

I also love the fact that like, and showed me the video.

And you just hear older black people just talking about old men like. He's got one of those fun. God, it was so great. And then I thought, yeah, there was a big tribute and I dressed like Gary Scheider. I put on a diaper and like while I'm on stage, like given this like meaningful tribute and a diaper.

“Like, honestly, bringing tears to the eyes of the people in the audience.”

Because I'm like reading a poem about death. You know, like, if I'm like, then, but the guy who I was honoring Gary Scheider, his son Garrett Scheider, go listen to his shit. It's fucking awesome. He was in the band coming up next.

And he came on stage and he like, what the fuck you do. And I told him this great story about what the time I met his dad, which was, I was backstage at the 930 club in D.C. watching P-Fong. And he brought me on stage earlier because I was the only person backstage dancing and stuff. And so he like brought me on stage.

I given high fives of people. And then later on, I'm sitting backstage and he comes up to me. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to talk to Gary Scheider. I'm so excited. He looks, he looks me in the diaper.

It looks me up and down. Grabbs of my beer out of my hand. Takes a swing and he goes, tastes like piss. He gave it back to me. It was amazing.

I had such an amazing time.

The first annual P-Fong Fest was a total success. Make sure you check them out on the road. I feel like they're in like a really good space right now as a band. Which is crazy to say it after like 70 years. But you know, because I was watching some footage.

“It seems like they're a little bit more stripped down.”

Yeah. It's very tight. George is fucking present. He was, honestly, he was jump and dude. He was so ready.

He was, he was having the best time any four years old. He's almost 85. It was celebrating his 85th birthday, which is in July. Jesus fucking hurt. Yeah, no.

It was incredible. And then the show was Jacksonville was great too. At the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp Stadium. Yeah, so much fun. Which we had Lexi on stage and shout out to Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp and

Evan Rossy for coming out. Dude, it was so much fun. Our live shows are just. We've gotten really good at him. You got to come check out.

Come check out Netflix is a joke. We're going to have to special guests to over. May 7th at the Avalon Theater. Not 45 PM. That's going to be a lot of fun.

We owe a lot of shows coming up. Watch out. We'll tip you off about all that. Not a fucking show. But oh, wow.

“We went a whole hour without talking about the other major story of the week.”

Oh, that someone tried to kill Sam Alman. No, not even that one. That one's a serious story. Oh, he's talking about this chimpanzee civil. Shimp.

Whaaaaaaay. Shimp. Two brothers. One more blue and one more grand. Shimp.

There's a chimpanzee. Wow. That's right. The world. This comes from the BBC.

Thank you, BBC. You know, we owe you some credit after we took it out. So hard for three weeks. So. The world's largest group of chimpanzees.

Apparently, have been in a brutal civil war for over eight years. Dude. And I found interesting is that they know they said that they, it very rarely happens. The old news travel slowly out of the chimper. It's hard because they don't have social media.

Yeah. And they were trying to call you on bananas. And they're like, look, guys, I know it looks like a phone, but it don't work. It was a joke. Get a razor phone.

Yeah. But Jane Goodall. I first of all, I want to say before we get into the shadow. Get out of that dead old bitch. No.

She's dead. She's dead. I want to say this. I want to say this. I've unfairly been a part of the, I mean this.

I've been unfairly part of the. Let's just say some of the more vicious rumors about Jane Goodall. And I just want to say I'm sorry because like, I'm going to come out here for the very first time. Yeah.

I'm going to unequivocally say that she's never had sex with the chimpanzee.

I know she hasn't. But I mean, she can't confirm or deny it. But she did allow some local men to sleep in her tent for some time with her game cube. That is she did do that. She had a game cube and she would parlaze sexual favors for time at the game.

But there's a man. Yeah. Human men and some women. Oh, men. We talked to Jane Goodall saw a war.

Oh, yeah. She saw a war. Because she said that she had thought that chimps were inherently peaceful. The Gombie chimpanzee or she witnessed. So this isn't like back in the 70s.

So what's going on? This happens all the time. You know, like chimpanzees, they go to war. Um, when they, you know, but this is like, but they're, what's interesting about this one is that we have more than ever we're able to study it.

Um, and so basically with this one is, uh, which one is done by Jeffrey Rush. Right. Wasn't he implying to the eeps? No.

Pirates of the Caribbean. Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah. You're getting a confused one. Yeah.

Mark Wahlberg. Who's the now one? Gary Oldman. Gary. Mark Wahlberg's in the really bad end of the eight to Tim Burton one.

Yes. That's the one he's in. Yeah. Each play, each one of the new good play of the games have a new good actor. Oh, what's his name?

Harold Simpson and then the other Jason Clark. Pulling plays monkeys. Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah. Andy, Andy Circus.

Yeah. Andy Circus. He plays Caesar. But anyway. So the Nagogo chimpanzees at Uganda's Kambale National Park have been at war since 2018,

where they have been 24-chimp on-chimp murders. Seventeen of which are infants. So how, how many arms are we selling them? Wind, what do they get from me run?

“I mean, honestly, thank God they don't have weapons.”

Actually, that's not true because like sometimes they do use six and rocks. He do. Yeah. Which is fucking wild. But this is true.

Brother on brother. Blue versus gray. For Eons. This was a beautiful community. 200 chimps used to be friends.

Lovers. They would hold hands. They, they know they were, but now they are enemies. And we know what happened. Why?

Yeah, what? It breaks people up like this. Besides. Was it a lady? No.

You know, honestly, they don't know. And it could be. Oh, sure. A lot of it is like males, like fighting for, you know, dominance and stuff like that. Yeah.

But it would. And then like, because like, one was like, I know that one with Jane Goodall was like, The main leader was a monkey named Mike. Yeah. Crazy.

And he was an ape named Mike. And then it seemed that one of the younger people that was like his right hand man

“was like, decided Mike shouldn't be in charge anymore.”

Basically. And then took three dudes and they walked away from everybody. And then that caused like a fight. And there was other. There were other chimps called Goliath.

She didn't want the chimps satin. Yeah. I know. It's pretty cool. Yeah.

It was because like the Latin term meaning like nemesis. Oh, okay. Okay. Well. All right.

So in 2015, they started to separate and basically in 2018 the war began.

And the Western group is the aggressors. The West had launched 24 targeted attacks. And it basically every time they kill one. And the numbers could be way higher. Oh, sure.

This is just what we know. But also, if I'm an interesting is how pointed the murders are. How the kills are pointed in their little society, too. Like it's actual warfare. Yeah.

It's like pointed at two specific groups. Yeah. Planet Earth did really good job. They had a good segment about a chimpanzee war that they got. I remember that from back in the day.

Yeah. It was like, it was the whole like. And as you can see. There.

“What a wonderful wonderful view into the intimate world of the war.”

Yeah. As he smashes the infant baby. I look at the joy in which he celebrates his victory over the child. Yeah. And basically chimps are on the horse.

You know, they eat a lot of vegetables. It's mostly they're more herbivore than carnivore. But I got a lot of messages when we asked this question about other animals. And they do most animals or opportunity eaters. Yes.

No matter what, like a rhino will eat like a like a little bit. Like a little bit. Ships. Ships eat bugs. They definitely should turn a bugs.

They look. They like eating turtles. Hmm. Some reason they love like they're like getting in the shells and getting the meat out. It's probably fun for them.

On turtle's taste good. Yeah. And they eat tiny mammals. Sometimes they eat even smaller monkeys. But while at war, they turn cannibalistic.

Yeah. They eat their pee. They eat. But they do it.

Like it's never not at war.

It's never like a chimped dies and they eat it. You know, it's that never happens. They like kill the chimped and eat it in front of like their families. And like they rip it. And it's usually an infant.

They call it infant side. And they'll use it. Sometimes the women chimped to it as well. Can we do this to a lot of senators? We could.

If their children are young enough. I believe we can't. I love to do this. I feel like we would teach them some lessons. And so they're trying to figure out.

Like all right. So 24 dead. Seven of them are adult males. Seventeen are infants. All right.

And then here's what they think it started the war. Maybe. This is their theories. All right. The first were the deaths of five adult males in one adult female for reasons unknown in 2014.

This could have started with disputed social networks and weakened social ties to the subgroups. The following year there was a change in the alpha male.

Which the study says coincided with the first period of separation between the

gender and gender groups. And the changes in the dominant hierarchy can increase in aggression and avoidance in chimpanzees. All right. Third factor was the deaths of 25 chimpanzees including four adult males and ten adult females.

Like they was an accidental death. There was a respiratory epidemic in 2017. But you're literally looking at like the way systems are affected in human world.

Well, that is exactly where this all goes because the why this is so interesting is that they're looking at this is like how ancient man developed conflict. Yeah.

And like how it wasn't always, you know, so it wasn't always just like based off of like racism.

And sometimes it was opportunity. There's lots of stuff. It's the fact that it's a inherent part of our like there's some part of the monkey part of our brain. Yes. It's please.

I'm sorry. But this isn't this place. So we like to fight according to the according to the BBC, if chimpanzees, one of the species closest to humans genetically could do so without human constructs of religion, ethnicity, and political beliefs, then rather than relational dynamics, may play a larger casual role in human

conflict than often as soon. But I mean, look at what we just covered. We covered the Hatfields of McCoyes. Exactly. Like basically see this like entire war set off.

These are families that hate each other. Yes. And you're literally seeing it on an animal level, which is, is that, like, what does that speak to? Do you think that speaks to, is it wonderful that we share this trait in terms of like a thing

“that we can see or is it one of those, like, that's where it comes from?”

I mean, I think it just shows that chimpanzees are just like fucking 40,000 years

behind us and they're going to catch up eventually.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I fucking try it. You know, what is, I find very, the fact that I want this smoke, chimpanzees.

You don't want this smoke smoke, don't you? They will fucking rip your lips off easily. I mean, they face me. No, I'm not saying, fuck me. I'm saying, you don't want the modern world, chimps.

You don't need an economy. Okay. Live your life. You know how much a chimper would love, like, a fucking porn tablet? I mean, that's easy.

That we can hook up. That we can hook up. All right. Yeah. I can get to make a bunch of AI porn and Jane Goodall for these guys.

This shows a way that chimps are very advanced. This is my favorite thing that I learned about reading this story, apparently because of all

of this war and stuff that lady chimps, when they have a baby, because sometimes, like,

there have been reports of them killing an infant that are like hours old. Yeah. You know, and so they have maternity leave. Like, if it's true, like, the whole center that was secluded safe place in the forest and she'll live there with her baby chip until it becomes old enough to kind of, like, walk around

and fence for itself a little bit. So they have, like, a form of maternity leave. That's fascinating. Isn't that cool? That's that dude.

We're just, yeah. And again, it's like, how, like, the percentage between us and them is, like, what, like, like, 2%. I have no idea.

“Like, like, like, our DNA is like, well, we're closest to, was it macax?”

The macax? Macax or the ones we're closer to? Or those, the binobos? Or no, it was a binobos. Or no, it was a binobos.

One of the two. Something like this. Yeah. I think that chimps are like, they're, well, wow. Share your approximately 95 to 98% of their DNA.

Wow. Look at that. That's a eye, though. Yeah, yeah. We're in the reddit.

Yeah. How much are you, how much are you? Yeah, well, we share with them. chimps use bots to prop up a fucking band that they created in order to create a look like it was a natural ground swell for them.

But instead, they just turns out they're all industry plants. You fucking joke, jerk. I don't think they can. The binobos are close. The binobos are close.

Yeah, the binobos. I think I just like saying the macax.

“Yeah, I think that's the problem with that.”

Because think about this. Because geese was created by industry plants and bots, right? The band geese. Think about what happens when they're so bad. The chimps.

Oh, I have to be a chimps band. I imagine surf rock. Yes, sure. If I were to guess what the chimps, the band called the chimps are. I'm guessing surf rock.

I'm looking at them right now. There has to be a chimps. The chimps. The chimps. With the z.

They are locking load. Yeah, this is rap rock metal punk. Hmm. Let's see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good name and fall. Oh, wow. I like them. Yeah, chimps. chimps.

chimps. Oh, and then there's a chimps. It has some chimps on instruments. Either way. I'm rooting for you.

Central chimps. You know, hopefully you're able to pull this out. But it seems like these western guys are. A little more tough. I would like to send you into the Goji.

I think that if you went in. All right. So we got a peanut machine for. All right. This is called a flesh light. All right.

I'm going to demonstrate. How you all use the flesh light. All right. You're going to want us better. I should time looking at this one.

Goliath. All right, come on. Everybody come closer. Come closer.

Oh, man. Oh, so. Yeah, wow. We did it, Eddie. We don't know this day.

Do we have any listener mail? Do we have any listener mail? Stingers left? We do, actually. What?

I kind of wanted. What did you think? I wanted to know. I wanted to think of a new bit for us. I sent a tube.

But we never talked about it.

I guess. We're just like, I wanted to talk. We're going to be in Lexington soon. I want to know what I want to do.

“No, because Jackie already has a whole food based thing.”

She's shoehorned and her fucking. I want to be. We can't just do any. We want to do a sec, but they're just called. What we.

We have. We do it anyway. If we make a. That's what we're doing. We're going to stay.

Oh, I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry. He's the best. He's the best. Yeah, I love staying.

I like staying.

I like staying is a great thing.

I do. Yeah, make it. I'm so hungry. When, please, sir. Yeah, if we could.

Oh, you got a lot of mail. We got a lot of mail about the NASA. One thing I thought was interesting is that someone brought up within the NASA. Like, was we were being very funny about the the Artemis 2. I'm glad that they splashed down safe and they did all the shit.

And it's promoting space travel. And we're like, there's a lot of people are like, it's a whole full thing to think about. That's why we like it. Yeah, we're thinking about it. We know that Artemis 2 and the Artemis program has extended like what they want to do.

They want to build a base on the moon in order to go from the moon to Mars. Technology should be leaning towards us learning. You know, I do understand. I do understand. I do understand.

But I also will say, I got a really interesting email that I thought brought up a interesting perspective about NASA.

Is that the, it's an extremely exclusive place to work.

It's hard to get a job there. And 95% of people that try to get a job at NASA actually work in the military industrial complex, making propulsion technology and working for them to blow shit up and kill people. So it does kind of seem that NASA might be sort, not propaganda as much as it's a way to inspire people to get into these industries, which then we use to kill people.

“Once you get really good to like, hey, how would you like a raise?”

And then they bring you over to make stuff that blows people up. But I also like to live inside of a mountain. My only issue, because again, I love space travel. And I am excited about space. And I do believe in aliens.

I don't know. But I do believe a lot of shit. It's going on here right now, which is why, like, I have some issues with it, right? Like only just because there is a lot going on. And the economies in the shitter.

It is, I just paid $7.75 a gallon for a, for gas. Where is it? In the neighborhood. And I just don't, I just think that we need to have a little bit of perspective. And I'm going to just read this little poem real quick.

So you can, you can feel a little bit of perspective. This comes from Gil Scott Herron. A rat done bit my sister now with whitey on the moon. Her face and arms began to swell, and whitey's on the moon. Yep.

I can't pay no doctor bills, but whitey's on the moon. Ten years from now, I'll be paying still. Wow, whitey's on the moon. The man just up my rent last night, because whitey's on the moon. No hot water, no toilet still lights.

But whitey's on the moon. And wonder why he's up in me? Is it cause whitey's on the moon? Well, I was already given him 50 a week with whitey on the moon. He on the moon.

Taxes taking my whole damn check. Junkies make me a nervous wreck. The price of food is going up. And as if all that shit wasn't enough, a rat done bit my sister now with whitey on the moon. Her face and arms began to swell.

And whitey's on the moon was all that money I made last year for whitey on the moon. How come I ain't got no money here? Hmm, oh, whitey's on the moon. You know, I just about hat my fill of whitey on the moon.

“I think I'll send these doctor bills air mail special to whitey on the moon.”

And the only one because again, I love it. I love space travel. But we do have a lot of fucking problems here. So I would say we might want to focus on some of them. Because some of these are going to get our precious to yoke skilled.

Yeah. You know, Sam Altman. He's in danger. Oh, he certainly is. He's in danger.

So we better be careful with that. Someone threw a month off cocktail of this house. Oh, no. Is that better? Yeah.

Oh, no. All right. So this is the last real email that I want to read. I do though. It was interesting.

Please. Last little response to our Mark Madness. These are my favorite responses. The reason why I'm reading this is because it's an awesome response. It's a detail I like to see.

And it's the kind of person I trust to make these types of decisions. Put this assignment to your response.

This is an unemployed. No. No. No. No.

He's employed.

“He specifically puts that as an email that he did this on company dime.”

Oh, great. You better. Which I love. Dungeons and Dragons updated master monster manual. That is was released in 220 foot, 2025.

Actually includes a stat block for something called a flesh goal. Whose flavor text referring to it as body parts bound together by misuse magic or strange science. And it's included a version to fire trait. They could the ideal candidate to stand in for a Boris Carloff Frank and science monster. The 1985 Chicago's bears those little trickier.

Because not many creatures that could honor their legendary defensive line. We end an astonishing four shutouts. The closest thing would be a wear bear.

But eight of these could be much too powerful to make an entertaining fight.

So an honor of the mascot and for its claw attack ability to knock an opponent prone, simulating a tackle. We will be using the stat block of a brown bear. Both of these creatures statistics are attached. What makes the mess jump interesting is that while their armor classes and attack bonuses are different.

AC 11 to 9 attack plus five to attack plus seven. They actually even out said both creatures only need to roll a four or higher on a D20 to hit. That's an 85% chance.

“However, both parties have vastly different damage output.”

With our Frankenstein's delivering over twice as much potential damage per round as a bear. 26 mass damage versus 12 max damage respectively. And a one on one matchup. And as a 5.77 times as much health. 127 hit points versus 22 hit points as a brown bear. Hypothetically with each Frankenstein would be able to take out one brown bear per round.

Napkin math probability for two 13 damage hits. 85% come up to about 22 damage average. Bear damage comes out to a little over 10 damage. And with each bear only having an average of 22 hit points. Things aren't looking good with the Frankenstein's reducing the number of bears.

And therefore their damage output per round. If all eight bears focus on a single Frankenstein at a time. And the bears act first. Since they have plus one to their initiative versus the Frankenstein's minus one. They'd still be losing at least two bears per round.

Since both Frankenstein's would be attacking.

After the first two bears die, their damage output drops from around 81.6 to 61.2.

The second round has another two bears die. But there would be more than enough bears to take down one Frankenstein with at least one bear attack to spare. This brings the next round to one minorly wounded Frankenstein versus four bears. Third round have the bear strike with an average of 40.8 points. Bringing the last Frankenstein to around 70.4 HP.

Wearing he'll be killing another bear and further decreasing their damage output. This would continue on and on. Wearing a single Frankenstein barely alive but victorious with approximately 9.4 hit points. Interesting. However.

Remember that claw attack? Yeah.

“Our brave sportsballers have the ability to knock an opponent prone, right?”

Which gives the attacker advantage approximately plus five to attack chance. And the defender disadvantage negative five attack chance. This will increase the bear's average damage output to approximately 11. And decrease our Frankenstein's average damage output to around 21, which is just barely enough for a bear to survive. Instead of two bears per round, the 1985 Chicago Bears would be able to knock the abominations over quickly enough for a few key bears to get a good hit in.

For the Frankenstein to be enabled a good whack.

They would then be enough to take down the shambling monster quicker in the second round so they can turn their attention to the final opponent.

And almost half of our Super Bowl 20 able to Super Bowl shuffle their way to victory. Well, they don't have claws though, because they're human. I fucking can't even. He didn't even listen to any of it, Rob. I just hit not a single bit of an entered.

I saw him tune out. I know, single bit of it. He couldn't figure it out. I just had no idea D&D at this much math. Yeah.

That makes me hate it more. I just know. I thought it was just play pretend. No, it makes it real. Now it's math.

No. No. Math makes it real. And imagination. No, math.

Math is what makes it real. He math an improv. Yeah. But they're not bears. They're humans.

But he didn't. Thank you for your service. My good sir. And also he said he did that. That took about 60 of our tax dollars.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Instead of working on spreadsheets. That's good. I appreciate that.

I like you spend in our tax money that way instead of us just sending and putting them into missiles. Honestly, we just painted right now. So it's all. Anyway, it was a hard year to pay taxes. Shadow was taxed today.

Yeah. Fucking assholes man. Well, every day. By the way, one of the members of the 85 bears defense. Steve Mongo.

Make Michael. Just died of CTE. Great. Well, he died last year.

But it was just revealed that he had CTE. Was that from?

“Yeah, that was Mongo, but that was Alex Caris, who played for the Detroit Lions.”

Interesting. Yes. Well, love every day knowing you're going to learn new facts about blazing Saddles every single day of your life.

You're never going to stop.

Live. Knowing you got a little puppy. You're trying to comment you in your exit in your outro. He's a little puppy. He's done.

And I laugh and I love. Oh, yeah, champ. But we got a lot of shows coming up. We're going to be an anchorage this weekend. Come and see us if you're there.

You already got tickets. It's good. Fairbanks. There's some tickets. Get those left.

Portland's also almost sold out. Get tickets for that. Lexington, Kentucky. An April 26.

That one's almost sold out.

Get tickets to that if you can. Netflix is a joke. Plenty of tickets. Go against the police. Go against the police.

But listen to this. All right. Tom didn't Netflix.

“We're up against these fucking movie stars.”

They suck. All right. They won't be there for you. We'll be. We'll say hello after this.

We have our own special guest coming, too. So don't worry about that. We got our own fucking star.

We got special guests coming.

We also have a new mis-education of Edward Larson. It's on Patreon this week. Go to Patreon.com/spicebockets and left. To also pay to listen to us ad free. And also you can see last stream in the left live.

Every Tuesday 5 p.m.P.S.D. That's right. Rochester, New York. May 30th. That one sold out.

Our shows are selling out, bro. These size stores shows are fucking awesome. Rem blasts.

“London Ontario's still got a couple tickets left.”

That's going to be on June 28th. Also, I'm on the road. Go ahead to eddytunes.com to see me. Everywhere I'm going. I'm trying out a bunch of weird shit.

We're having fun. Yeah. We're gonna have a great time. What are we doing for that Portland show? The Portland show?

I don't know. Yeah. We're gonna get really high and have fun. Great. We were just in Portland.

So this is a bonus. Yeah. Can't wait. Yeah. You all fucking come out man.

We're gonna have a good time. And you come out fuckers. All right. I think that's it. I think it's it.

Hell Satan. We did it. Hell. Mungo. Mungo.

Mungo. You know what? Actually. Mungo. You're cool.

But a hell George Clinton. You're right. Forgive me. I mean. You're cool.

But a hell George Clinton. You're right. Forgive me. The fucking coolest weekend. I think of a right and Danny Bajrosion.

So cool. What a great time. So I couldn't have had a better time. This is a dream come true. So cool.

Peace.