Side Stories: He Said, Pee Said

That's one of the cannibalists I started.

Side stories. Yes.

“Oh my little little little little little.”

Hey there come on get your pudding and you're putting pants. You know Eddie, I can't believe we skipped one week because we didn't skip it we had pre-recorded episode because you were doing dates and we were in the middle of traveling and we just happened to miss one of the funniest weeks in the entire year.

That's how it goes. That's how it goes. That's how it goes. Cause it's just crazy to just think like I can't believe like after all this time we lost Sam Neil.

Oh yeah. We lost Sam. that was really sad, you know, that one girl died at AIDS. - Yes, yes, there, the one, then we had the other one. - Booshi from, was it from Moana?

Was that Moana died at AIDS? - Moana didn't die of AIDS. And Moana didn't die, it was a different Disney chick. - Oh, it was the girl from Lilo and Stitch died of AIDS. - Wow, Lilo died of AIDS.

- Oh, no, definitely not Chase. - That's right, that's right, Matt. - Yeah, Roman Johnny Darka. - Oh, the Johnny Darka. - The Johnny Darka?

- The Johnny Darka. - Well, we should have been able to guess that one. - Yeah, that was a sad movie. But what does Stitch die soon? - She also Lilo and Stitch, Lilo and Stitch died of AIDS.

- Well, they both died, wow. - That's the same girl. - Yeah, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. - Yeah, Moana didn't die. - And then the little girl from Godzilla vs. King Kong died.

A lot of little girls died. - Lot of little girls died in sadly.

We lost one of the most important little girls.

- Oh, can we ever call it? - A lady, true lady. - A lady, lady G. - Hi, hi, Mitch, hi, it's gonna see you, Mitch. - Oh, thank you for joining me, Mitch.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm actually kind of surprised. I thought heaven can be. - I'm turning into crank.

“- Oh, you know, I just, you think they put us in the Mexico with hell?”

- You think that after I died, I'd be able to talk correctly. - But I cannot. - Oh, I, you know, I'll just gotta say, I should help it's Mexico, but I've certainly had a lot of Serrano peppers down in my taco house.

- Oh, I've got a lot of fire down under, I don't know, clearly, you followed your bad, the ground. - Oh, Mitch, I'll do it. - Oh, Mitch, I'll do it. - Oh, hold your hand, Mitch, let me hold your hand. Oh, no. - Oh, it's a space down.

I don't know how you're giving kisses by your power. How do you get a kiss by your power? I'll pause again, that'll be. I gotta let you go, they need you to vote on. And then you vote on, is real taking over a miracle?

Send you back there. Send me back there. I voted for that order for that order for that. I know, I gotta send you back to earth, listen though, but the next time you die, the next time you die,

you come right back to old lady, gee. Okay, they're gonna have to change the name of my state to confuckee. You know, I mean, firstly, I just want to do something real quick, I'm gonna put a little, little, little, little, little,

play with your lips. Put a little, little, little, little, little, little, play with your lips.

I've always wanted to do that, I'm gonna tell my man.

I've always wanted to do that, and stuff that. I've always wanted to say, I've never got to have fun. I've just too bad because we've got to have so many rules and somebody brought me a particular picture. I'm Henry Sprowskin, sitting here with Mitch McConnell. Oh, okay, I'm gonna say that proof of life, Otto, they took of Mitch.

I love that. You know what's apparently see the rod in a shirt? You know what's really nice is he, but just be frank before that picture. He was Mitch. He was looking, he was looking rough.

He looked rough for the last 20 years. But I'm saying, unless you're so, he's really looking rough. He's falling down. He was a man without feet fall down. Because it's easy because he's just too sticks.

He's just walking around like one of those figures from Blair Witch.

“But I do think it's interesting is that when they put up the new photo, because I do remember”

the Ripe of Sorrow Lock's grandfather. Yes, right before he died, he was looking really, really bad. And then it seems that death has rejuvenated him because in the proof of life photo that was put out with his Asian wife who's definitely not there for for pro reasons. Oh my God, she fucking splits.

She's a guy. I don't see the reason to come back. But that was the funniest response I've ever heard from my wife when their husband had a heart attack and ended up in the hospital. I think it's really interesting that he looks really good.

Yes.

That's like, that's not the official news.

The official news is that he had a court, according to his office. So he's been mysteriously in the hospital for a month, we were talking about this. Mitch McConnell made his office, made a statement saying that he had a fall and that he is right back on his way to work. He looks, this whole body looks like a blister.

He's a Samuel, like right now he's a Samuel of nutritionist liquid. He is not a human. I would like during this time, I want during the autopsy whenever that is a check

“him for bones because I don't think he has a, no, I think he's made out of tofu.”

So he's been MII, MIA since June 14th, and so what they said is that he had a cardiac arrest and he was rushed to the hospital. He came on to that was not real. I fell down and I'm on my way to work, but because EMTs are so bad at their job that they're like, oh, a slip and fall could easily a heart attack.

I don't know what's going on.

But he also, we know for a fact that he was administered CPR, which is something

that normally doesn't happen on a trip and fall unless, of course, you're completely unconscious. They gave him CPR, which then would also probably preclude, which is what I've gotten from every single person. Every single person I've ever spoken to about getting and receiving CPR is that quite

often when you're getting the chest compressions, it will break your sternum. Of course, when you're especially, they usually do. I talked to my cardiologist, brother-in-law about that and he was like, I was a do-ever break the sternum when you're doing CPR is like, only if I want them to live. Yep.

You could do this picture of him, so if you see this picture of him when he's on pause, right, back in the day when he was still just great at working, he obviously is a piece about to die. He is a living cancer tumor, just standing paralyzed in front of a television screen on camera.

At this point, they should be putting a butterfly fucking net over his head and they should

be launching him into the shredder, but he continues to live. So he is right now, this whole thing happened, you see this picture put out saying, oh, he's absolutely fine and he's going to, he's going to go back to work and he's dressed in street clothes, jeans on a hospital bed. You see, that is wife within jet, as soon as that picture was gone, even though we have

not seen a video from him, nothing, nothing. We don't even, I haven't seen any proof that she even came home. This is, I am going to just go out and hear because this is a satire program here, but I am also going to say, because of my years reading, it is not AI photo. We know it's on an AI photo.

We think it is, though, it was more than likely an old photo that was taken last time years in the hospital. Yes, when he fell, when he actually fell last year, so you're going to need a couple of these. All right, now change a shirt and you don't need a item, not even fucking joking, because

they knew that this was going to be a thing. Oh, they have the newspaper there. If you see Mitch McConnell, but also, Mitch McConnell holding that paper is part of what makes it really interesting in this photo, is because if you zoom in on it, I have not been able to get a proper read on this photo, a high resin of photo in which I can actually

read the words on the article. Did I know if that picture was in the photo? Yes, people have already linked like the picture and the newspaper to the date, it was released. But if you zoom in on it, the words turn into nonsense syllables, like literally like

I cannot find a high resin of picture in which I can zoom in and actually read the words on it. That's one thing.

“So I think that's where I think the conspiracy theory really falls in.”

We know that there is a democratic governor of Kentucky, which is why they are sitting on this because they don't want him to appoint a Democrat as the his fill in during this time period. Even though as soon as Lindsey Graham, Lindsey's Graham's corpse was still hot filled with gizm and he filled that crazy Ukrainian gizm and he literally, they put his fucking

our worded sister in there as soon as physically possible. They really did. She had no business doing anything. She's just some dumpy ass fucking bitch from South Carolina who's just about to ruin more people's lives.

Lindsey Graham is just the same taste and meant very much so. I mean, that's very secret. What is our lead? Oh, yeah. I don't want to learn.

Fuck it. Fuck her ass. But Lindsey Graham is the biggest worm in one of the biggest worms in history in political history. He had no center.

He had no soul. He had no imagination. And then when I see all of these Democrats coming out to just talk about how funny he was. But it's just trying to be classy.

It's absolutely. Fuck. Fuck. Exactly. Same nothing.

“You know, honestly, it's just saying nothing.”

I have no respect for him.

I have no respect for Mitch McConnell.

“I can't wait to be there screaming Baba Bowie at Mitch McConnell's funeral as well.”

Dude. I go there. I can't wait. These two sacuels are the right now. The only person we can depend on politically in the United States of America is the Grim Reaper. Yeah.

That is the only one doing, moving the needle, doing the job that we need. We need. Grim Reaper. I'm going to give you his super back. Dude, I was party and then see side hides with Julie for the night taking a nice

easy day. And then she woke me up. We were hung over. Of course. Cause you don't.

We were in sea side hides. She like woke me up. I didn't even open my eyes. I said, Ed, Lindsey Graham died and without opening my eyes. I was like, good. I'm back asleep.

I'm back. What? No way. I'll do the do. No way.

Not the lady himself.

Cause he went to he was checking out a drone factory in Ukraine.

So what do we say about do you think that's fishy? No. You don't think they rushed. I killed him even though he was talking shit about Russia day before. Wine and the living fuck would Russia need to kill the 71 year old closet of drug

addict like legitimate. Like he is a like full on living a high pressure life. Doing party drugs. All of the people that so many gay sex workers came out to talk about their time with him and during during after his death.

And no one wants to talk about the fact that like he was the single most compromised man in the United States government besides the president himself. You know the poppers is also Mitch McConnell's nickname. No. He was his lady box.

Yeah. Oh, lady box. Oh, no. Lady G is. Lady Bugs.

Lady Bugs. Do you not know? I know lady. Lady Bugs for what?

For Mitch or for Lindsey.

Lindsey Graham. But I know Lady G. No, yes. So Lady G was one of the common nicknames of Lindsey Graham. Yeah.

The other things that he amongst his constituency that he paid for including the many sex workers who have seemed to have been completely supported by Lindsey Graham. Like it. Well, I gave to their go fund me. I'm really worried about that.

Me too, because what are they going to do because they're just going to spell all of the D, right? And so the reason why his his new nickname, Lady Bugs came out is because of a supposedly debunked confession from a sex worker that I do not.

“I don't think I think it's real where he was getting a bottom straight.”

Lindsey Graham. And when he was nude and he spread himself over the bed and spread his bottle. He had these moles on his taint that he called his little Lady Bugs. Oh, cancer. Moles, Eddie.

That was a while ago at this point. It was a while ago. And so they had blow on it for good luck. No, I think they did the thing. You remember the thing?

You know, when you were like fat in music class and school and you got that. We were just the wood thing that the botanicalum thing or the only thing you could play. That was just that was his tank. He's more like the Lady Bugs lives. Come on it.

No, it's probably like hi. Yeah. Come on me if you want. Yeah, that's fine. No one else cares if they come on me or not.

Go ahead. Come on me. And then all you got that bushed flavor. Ukrainian gay sex worker calm has to truly be so unique. Maybe just that's what killed him.

Maybe he actually was cleaning himself with his Disney World bubble wand. Oh, he was so sad. He was so sad alone in Disney World. Because you know, I've seen so many homosexual men alone in Disney World. You think they'd all band together with him.

Yeah, no. I mean, that's someone who's been to Disney World alone. It's great. But if Lindsey Graham was with you, he would ruin it.

“I think that's why he was alone in Disney World.”

The problem though is that it doesn't sound like a daddy. It sounds like actually one on one when he wasn't being a total sick, you faint fucking hoarding everything that's evil. He was actually kind of funny. Who cares?

But I'm seeing a Disney. You guys who just been like, you've been like, oh my god, I got the Latin line for blah blah blah. Like you would actually honestly, I bet you him, you and Lindsey technically at Disney would have a great time. Because you know we know how to use all the apps. Oh, you know, he's probably he's got the plaid.

He's got all the stuff. But you know he's doing the same shit that you do where you guys go. Cause like Natalie's like that. You guys do the you guys are sick. All the Disney people are sick.

You got it. It takes like six months of planning to have one day at that stupid asspark. That's fine. Is put to you put the information in your clock out. You had it.

There's nothing casual about drawing yourself. Six months ahead of time. You can't book anything. If you don't book six months ahead of time, you're not doing anything. It's got another right people.

No, I have to do it. Like Mickey Mouse. Yeah, Mickey Mouse. He's got all the connections. What is that his corpse?

Oh, yeah.

That was a picture of me.

But I was going to launch his body. Honestly, I feel that his. That would be very bad debris. I think it's bad for the face. And I think you should be up there.

“I think he's going to get one of our guys from Russia sick.”

Oh, man. Well, you know, gladly said. Final. It is really, really nice news that he's dead. And when Mitch McConnell's dead, final.

What he is dead. He's brain dead. So yeah, there's nothing going on there. For those of you who've been brain dead, we've watched them shut down. And by the way, you know, it built Cosby's.

You know what's going to be like. He was funny. He was funny. Bill Cosby actually what is funny.

Bill Cosby's an actual comedian.

We are taking away from the actual funny pedophiles when we call Lindsey Graham funny. Don't take that from Bill Cosby. That is life. He's supposed to be. That's his main thing.

When he's not right when he's hilarious. Oh, right. Same thing. Lindsey Graham. He should have been busy working instead of fucking doing material and fucking gay sex workers.

But the Democrat wanted to be fucking cool. Like Lindsey Graham passed away today. He's responsible for the deaths of thousands, maybe millions. Yes, this is the guy that would sell. He'd sell your grandmother to Israel for fucking a penny. He would fucking he can't wait to.

He would make sure he killed every gay person that existed besides himself and his pack of horse. It's the only thing he cared about. Lindsey Graham fucking rest in shit. That's right. But it also mixed McConnell said the same Mitch McConnell.

He has now been. Oh, yeah. He said. So the eyes shows last words. We also in the United States of America.

And according to like international standards, you know that a proof of life picture does not count. What do you mean? Because certain communist states like people like Russia and he is it. So they famously would use proof of life pictures and these things.

And they would manipulate them. But they since Stalin's time, right? Yeah. And so the idea of a proof of life picture doesn't count internationally.

“That's why everyone's saying we want a video.”

And how hard is it to look into a camera and say, Hi, my name is Mitch McConnell. This is July 21st. I'm alive. Yeah.

Like that is all you got to do. Or a video him getting ready to come in a work or getting all like anything. Any single thing. What about is it like all right, how about this? The hospital like in trouble if they're lying about this?

No, everybody know because it's the family holding a note. It's see Eddie what we're seeing here is that what he's taken of a hospital room with the current administration is teaching every single person in authority. Is that unless you can have other people say there's a crime happening as well.

Yeah. It does in no longer matters. It requires the governing bodies of these places to admit that something's going on. And that's the problem.

There's no independent way the democratic governor. I didn't know his fucking name. I don't even fucking care to know his name. He's also just sitting on his hands. He's writing strongly worded Twitter messages.

He's just acting like he's some kind of girl in fucking high school. Show up at the fucking hospital. He was a real fucking man. He would be in the lobby that day saying where the fuck is Mitch McConnell? I want to see him put a mirror under his nose and show me he's alive.

Where's my goddamn employee? But no one gives a fuck. All right. No one gives a fuck. So we are sitting here waiting because no one wants to because Democrats

believe in a polite society which has been destroyed. And Republicans are literal, mouth breathing. Nazis looking to destroy the very fabric of the country in order to make themselves permanently in power. They don't fucking give a fucking shit.

So this guy, he's we already know that Laura Loomer said he heard he's brain dead.

He's also always the worst person you want to hear like the facts from.

But it's just the truth. We also a lot of people are saying there's another several two to the agencies. Cal what's in Bashir. Democratic or Andy Bashir, the guy that is the governor of Kentucky.

Okay. Some people are trying to say he's going to run for president in 2028. And as far as I'm fucking concerned, if you can't fish out a dead pedophile, then you shouldn't be president either. Also, like what we want the whole fucking country to be like a ducking.

Fuck you. Fuck that. It's talking about. Sorry guys. Yeah.

That shit. And so he's saying that he's heard from several sources that McConnell is at least brain dead. He's at least sitting in an vegetative state just rotting. And no one has the balls to do something about it.

Yeah.

“And that's why I think it would be the funniest thing in the world for”

some nurse to take a picture and send it out to the world. It'd be really nice to someone or love who fucking cares. I'll pay for your jail to I'll pay for I help you. If you could if someone can leak the information, I will help you get money.

I will help you get money.

I will figure it out for you. If you can help leak this information because there's no way. He's going to look in better shape in that picture. And then he did before he went into the fucking hospital. Impossible.

It is impossible. They would show us him. He'd be looked fine. He is lying. Of course he's lying.

Was it capable of lying because he's dead?

“Well, it's the only thing he's capable of lying in the bed.”

He is completely dead. And so someone needs to have the balls to go and push his corpse out in front of a fucking camera. All right. So can someone please go do that?

And anybody if you even think of defending any one of these guys to me, you can absolutely see yourself out. Yes. They need to die. Yes.

Fuck them. Yeah. You know, honestly, I was blown up. Oh, god. I've got nothing.

I get ran. It's blown the fuck up. If you want to hear other fucking topics like this, go into a CR live show. We're still selling the VOD of our last ever JK Ultra show. In the one in Oklahoma City at the tower theater.

It was a lot of dude. I feel like it was one of our best shows. We had so much fun. We went a little long too. We were riffing or having some fun.

It was. Yeah. We wanted to show everybody. Just like you know, this is our show. It is like loose and live.

And I just was so happy. The crowds were fucking great. Cains ballroom is legendary. Oh, my god. So if you're ever.

If you're in the Tulsa area, see as many shows as you can. Yeah. It goes ballroom. Go to see whatever it is. Oh, shout out to the church studio for show in Henry and I around and given us all that

Primo Leon Russell history. He was fucking awesome. It truly was wonderful. And so you can go and get our last show. You could still get a play for another click week or so.

I think it's like 10 days left. Yeah, something like that. LPOTL.Kizwi.com, which is a weird name. Yeah. It is K-I-S-W-E.

Yeah, so LPOTL.K-I-S-W-E.com. Go watch the last J-K Ultra Ever. It's fucking done. Yeah. And then there's like add-ons and shit you could do.

“There's like a $5 add-on if you want to see the Q&A.”

And then the tour shirt is available there, which was only we were only selling on tour. Yeah. So check that out if you want to get that there. And also go and subscribe to LPOTL TV YouTube right now. I'm doing the plug right now.

I need you to go over there because vampire the masquerade for us. It is coming out season two is coming out very shortly. Led by Marcus Parks. Yeah. We all like bloodbath 77.

It is going to be fucking amazing.

And you're going to need to watch it for our next season as well. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Just like how you love. But you're turning in the marvel.

Or something better. It's an hour longer stuff. I also thought fucking you could win up the fuck voli. Don't let me you guys care about it. Is your easter eggs or horseshit?

Yeah. And one of you care about anything. While you're over there, check out HEX2 season two. It was fucking incredible. I'm so proud of that.

I want to keep that thing moving. So watch that as well. Wait. That's actually it. Let's cut some fun news.

Now, this guy. This was a funny story that I wanted to cover. That we didn't get to because we were gone. Yes. This was, I've, we both pulled this one aside.

I love this. All right. So this flight instructor, Leandro Andres Brottozo. 42. He's found dead following this incident in which he jumped out of a flying plane.

Do his death. Leaving the student. He was teaching to fly to land the aircraft by herself.

Now, that shows you number one incredible trust.

Yeah. I don't know if it does. I mean, like, listen, I have a good thought to say, you fly a plane like no one I've ever seen. I know the two fly a plane.

So good. I must die. But I have completely my job. Time for the ultimate test. He's so fun.

Just go like, hey, this is really been great. All right. I'll see you. So this is crazy. You said you know what you have to do.

Carry on. For his exact. Yes, you know what you have to do. Carry on. 22 year old Rosario took off his headset in his seat belt.

And he opened up the door. Jumped out of the plane. He was at one of the Alvarez director of the flying park. Though, the flying school where Brottozo worked told the a newspaper.

There were no signs of the pilot was planning to throw himself off the plane. Yeah. Yeah. Because then how do you get in plane? Well, he wouldn't be able to get in the plane if he was

showing if he was practicing jumping out of it. While he was like sitting on the ground. If I was a pilot teacher who was planning on killing myself, I would show no signs.

“That's that's how you're going to weigh with the key.”

You want to be real slow. You want to make sure they let you take off. He even did a whole lesson right before. He did it. And he completed the lesson.

Do you think that they were like really bad? Maybe he I think this shows it really does a Rosario.

Exactly. Yeah.

I think this is huge for Lady pilots.

I think the guy before it. You know, he's taking the lesson. The guys like, you know, are almost glad to have a fly plane on like this stupid ass chicks. And then Brottozo was just sitting there just like.

I could not believe I teach this man. And then he's got it's such a bad lesson. And he's just like, this is just why do I do this? If they don't learn, if they do not see how do I continue to touch? Because, you know, like, maybe the flaps will offer.

And shit, or he came in sideways. And then finally he's up there with Rosario. Just watching her perfectly flying. He's like, yeah. A woman kind of replies.

Yes, that's how it replaced the main. I wish her to be a very mind.

“Do jumping out of a plane has got to be the best way to do it.”

What do you mean? Cut yourself? Yeah, why? It takes some time. You really get to reflect while you're flying.

At least you get to enjoy flying down there. I think a building would be more scary. A bridge would almost be more scary. But a plane. I feel like by the time you got to the ground, you'd be like, you know what?

I'm ready.

I'm always wanted to do nitrogen poisoning.

Oh, yeah. That's like one is where you just go sleep, don't wake up. Is that like the suicide box or cube? Yeah. That's what I do.

Yeah, you like to press the button. Yeah. I also like buttons. I want to be able to choose music. Oh, it's good.

Because that's thing. You turn on music and it's just barado. It's only equals. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

That was in a proprietary deal that they did alongside their residency at the spirit. They've decided, yeah, it is only the Eagles. Joalshears that are specifically dialed in for the suicide boxes. So, hopefully you like, I mean, obviously run on empty's great. Well, not if you're the suicide box.

Why?

“Because you need the nitrogen and kill the people.”

Oh, I mean, you're running on empty there. Jackson Brown. Oh, fuck. Well, Jackson Brown wrote the song. The Eagles did the song.

And then, well, Jackson Brown wrote it for the Eagles and then he did his own version. Really? Look it up. I actually do believe it. And he said, yeah, do believe it.

Oh, man. Yeah, it's it. Oh, not the Eagles. No, it's not the Eagles. We're running on empty.

It was, oh, take it easy. Take it easy. That's it. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Rob is correct. Sorry. Yeah. Here we go.

He outstep father. Shit. Running on empty. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that should be on there. Jackson Brown is stupid. It's an easy addition to the, yeah. That's when you go to suicide box plus you do their proprietary app.

But seven to nine a month, you get your own playlist of hand-picked special suicide those songs like Jackson Brown's running on empty. Yeah. The loadout. The loadout.

White bout. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. What's a good two a side song? Pipeline.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I would also probably play block. Hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just can hear the news.

Yeah. That's my bomba. Wow. Yeah. Bye.

I'll be great. Now, one one. It's a bit of a fiesta.

“So that's why that was just a fun story because the idea of someone just mid-job.”

Just literally just being like, you know what? I quit. You know what? This sucks. Okay.

I'm going to see if a cloud can catch me. Yeah. Just the, just a. Yeah. Oh, man.

And then, you know what? She nailed it. She, that shows Rosario was correct. And if I was that flight school, I'd immediately graduate her. Also, of course she immediately graduates.

And I'm the only put her first name in that her protector.

Uh, last name. She's getting every job in the war. That's what I'm saying unless of course the most hireable mother fucker ever. What if she did a bad job plan to the point? It's her first time under pressure.

I'm fucking proud of her. You know what to do. Hi, bye. Oh, lintia! I come to the ullintay!

So, this is your turn. Fuck him up my mom. It's a fucking, it's a ground like a fucking javolin. Oh, yeah. That's gotta be fun.

So, there's a lot of fun stuff we got to get to here. There's the guy who cut his penis off. Okay. This is a good story. Yeah.

It's a great story. Everybody loves his one. So, again, it takes a man. It just comes out of beautiful. Beautiful Indiana.

No way. Yeah. On May 6th, a guy with charge with arson. He got a sausage there. They do.

In the, the thing is that normally they don't waste it. Like this guy did. So, this guy, he was charged with arson after. And I like it because the police had to say that he did this. And that he cut off his own penis.

And let it on fire in the garage of his mother's house. And he left it in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Would you like to think is this might be the third time this happened in Fort Wayne?

Yeah. I will say this guy showed as much poison as Rosario. I see. Cut your penis off and then you still take the time. Bleed out the hole in your front.

You dip it in care or see. You light it on fire and you put it in the trash can. And then you tick-tock weight for the fucking cops. Yeah. But you just, well, he ran away.

Obviously, he was bleeding really badly. Yeah. So when the cops came, he had to go to the hospital. Maybe, well, you could die.

“When you die, you have to fix it, right?”

Yeah. Wine cork. Oh, wine cork. So you thought it was to put a cigar out on it. Oh, no, no, no.

That's in Missouri. That's out of Missouri.

You got to get to if you don't want to have insurance.

His name was Christopher Peyton. 36 years young. Peyton, he said he told police that he was a kitchen knife to cut off his penis. He's in the garage. So he's, I mean, he made enough sense there.

Oh, it says generals, maybe he got the nuts too. I don't know. You know what it is? Is that to me, if you're cut. I, truly, I think it was just the penis.

Because the penis looks like a wick. Yeah. Well, it depends if it's working or not. Like, I think balls, because balls don't pop off like too little. You know, they're coiled up stuff in there.

Well, if you got a kitchen knife, you can really hack at it and work at it. But I think they'd spell out. I don't think you could set fire to it. I think they'd be too liquidy.

“I think the penis could actually be separate enough from the liquid.”

I understand what you're saying. But also you dip it in carousine. You said anything on fire. Correct. You said water on fire.

But I think it's easier to dip the penis in the carousine. Yeah. Then just like, because I feel like you think he dipped. You didn't put on top. No, I think he did.

You think he dipped. I think he, I think this is a, I think it's a software. I feel like if he dipped you would have lit his fingers on fire. No, not necessarily if he, if he let go of it real fast. He does look like a diaper.

No, yeah. He does. It's a big diaper. Look at him. Look at that little smile.

You know, he, if you were to ask me to draw the guy who cut his penis off and set it on fire as the devices that don't fire, I might be there only just because he's one of those that if you cut his face in half, he'd look like two different kind of guys. He does look like there was a time when he had his shit together. I feel like this is a man who used to have everything.

And now it's all gone. That's a man that's been through several rabbit holes that is led to this. This man is, he weirdered out everybody at January 6th. Yeah. He may be blankery when he showed up in Iran.

He's one of those guys everywhere he goes. Everyone's just like, whoa, come on guy. Whoa, let's, little bit less. Yeah. I mean, you know, did he really hurt anybody himself?

I guess the firemen had to do something.

“They do, I feel, I honestly mostly feel bad for them because of how difficult this life is in general.”

Yes. Oh, for sure. If you get to the point where you got to cut off your dick and set it on fire and put it, your mom's trash can. I mean, your life's bad.

You know, I just feel like there's so many more efficient ways to do that. Oh, we're at his Facebook page. Oh, nice. Yeah. He's got a nice little haircut.

What date is that? We has that nice haircut. 22. Oh, he's been thinking a lot of things have been hard last four years. Yeah.

I think he used to be fine. What was that? Is that a funny or is your band? Oh, is your, is your, is your band fire fucking doubted? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean on there. Some kind of meme on there. It's pre.

All right. This is pre. I promise is that we won't get all political later. I think dressed like a guard to say people, we could trust them to drown people. They deem more of the of death.

Share if you're comfortable letting life guards be the judge jury and executioner. It's a funny day. He did my birthday. Oh, you guys it be real close. That's nice.

You know, I feel like he's going to have some time to be in jail. Yeah. And I think that this is a really good opportunity for him to reflect upon what he's done. And now that his penis isn't there anymore. Much like, uh, to curry.

I know what you got to tell us this question before. What happens? Does it just like fountain out when you pee or like I actually think you get a receptacle or something. Like maybe they stick a little tube in there and then you go. Yeah, you have the piss out of two.

I think you got to go back once you cut your penis off.

I don't think I think it's a second.

Rob, you ever find a penis in the plumbing? Well, I was, I was not sure what you're going to ask me right there. That was so nervous. You've bleeding death after you're, this is according to the internet. It's actually quite difficult to bleed the death from your penis hole apparently.

It's saying right here is that the problems are too many known. So I like I wonder if a person without knowledge and tools cuts off somebody's penis.

Is there a chance a person may not bleed the death within a short time?

Is this read it? This is, uh, no, this is ice jeeps. The really weird place. Do you want to see? Do you want to see?

Yeah, you found the penis? Whoa, no penis! That's not him. This is someone else. That's just losing their penis.

Yeah, these are other people who cut their penis as off. This is a Rob. Okay. Just get it off of there. Yeah.

Rob, I can't see that on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to cut it go away. Rob turned, uh, yeah. You got to put that safe searching.

Oh, god. I don't know if I didn't bother me. Maybe I'll put both of you so much.

“I think you're, maybe it's already for my penis to go away.”

Maybe you're, you're not. Maybe it's, maybe I'm, I'm bored with this boy. According to Andrew, assuming the person is not taking anti-coagulants, it's actually quite difficult to bleed to death from this member, men of small members. Hands, feet, penis, ears, nose.

Even large members, such as arms and legs are often survivable, because the body is very good at predicting itself from blood loss. For example, transsected arteries will spasm and clamp off blood flow. On loss of blood will cause the body to divert blood flow away from the extremities into the vital organs. Therefore, slowing the bleeding and allowing it to clot.

In fact, the whole shock process can be viewed as a set of defensive measures by the body. You're doing sure survival and the face of serious injury. This is a bitter lesson learned by emergency medicine only fairly recently.

And I think it's really amazing that some people were like, I got, I'm capable of getting downloaded for this.

When the EMTs found in their, they asked someone his name was just a Christopher and they said, no. Uh, unique. Oh, Eddie. Right, it's down. That's a little bit of a bit of a penis, but you can say if you're an EMT. And you come across the concept. You can use that one's free.

Yeah. That one's free for you. I love my EMT. Make 'em all laugh. Yeah, welcome all laugh.

You, Nick. You know, well, that's really all we're at. Yeah, or unique, unique if he's from Greece. Uh, this is a guy think that this guy is got a long road ahead of him. But at the end of that road, he might just find himself.

Loving the life that he's finally. Christopher Pieden can't do it no more. No more. It's going to be sitting the Pieden. Very, very soon.

Here's another Pieden. I'll tell you that. Absolutely not. You got one of those. So, this is another funny story.

I love Mountain Dew. Yes. Not as much as this guy.

“I got one that's attached to this stuff.”

We didn't clear with you, but I wanted to bring it up after that. I can't wait. Yeah. So this takes place in Porter Potty Town, USA Kansas City. Oh, yeah.

Kansas City. Uh, now this is July 14th. The same day Mitch McConnell went down. Oh, maybe this got something to do with it. What happened to me, crews with Patriot portable restrooms.

They were collecting units after event. It was for it. It was for World Cup. So it's kind of an international. Yeah.

And so the guy came out. He made a little bit interesting the name of the Porter Potty company. Because most people who call themselves Patriots are full of shit. Yep. Got him.

Got him. Got him right down. So use that one. You have that one too. In case you got a guy with a American flagship down this throw.

Fucking joking and death. A lot of Rod or Gusphyxics. That's out of Porter Potty. So this guy. He's a guy from the Porter Potty place.

He comes out and he makes his video. And he's like, all right. So we were closing down for the night. And I had no idea that this was even. Obviously, it's makes sense.

Before you pick up all the Porter Pottys. You got clearing. So he said that that night. You know, like, case, they don't overnight. You don't want a Porter Potty full of shit on the truck bed.

But no, I mean, for people. Oh, you got to like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to check to make sure. So he gave up in the morning before he was loaded. He was loaded them all up.

He knocked in every one of the Porter Pottys. And he said, you know, I'm trying to make sure. And there was one, all one of them was locked from the inside. I'm just like, yellow. Hey, what's going on here?

My guy's like, and here. Yeah. And he's like, well, you know, you've been there all night. And so, uh, we need to get you out. All right.

So he's going to get out. He's like, you bet you're my way out. Right. The way to fucking hour. An hour?

Yeah. Not again. He said, you got to fucking get out of here, man. We got to work. We're loading it up.

And he's like, this is our plastic box. We got to go. This is our public restroom. I do like he used restrooms. He went to go collect the restrooms, right?

“He doesn't call a Porter Potty because I think that's.”

I think that might be a brand. Yeah. I text us a toilet. It's our toilet. It's a toilet.

It's a toilet.

So they, uh, finally he's like,

Hey, uh, can't reach door. So you're going to have the knees about. Get rid of the door in there and they're like, what the fuck do you mean? You can't reach the door here. So they unlocked it.

Right. They do the thing. They breached it. And they just see his head poking out of the toilet. He's covered in shit.

And he is according to him. He told them, well, last night I dropped my mountain do bottle in here.

And I got stuck in here last night. And they stayed in there. Now again, I set up top. I love mountain do. Yeah.

But I do have a feeling. Or something else in that bottle. Yeah, maybe.

“Because he went down there to look for it.”

Mountain poop. Mountain do do do. Now it's mountain do do. And so the fire department had to cut him out of it. He just had his head.

Yep. He, the, it's a do rag. He's got a do rag on. Oh my God. That's a funny little door for it.

And he cut, they had to cut a hole in it. And he was like refusing to come out. They like saw these slats in it. And he's like, "Okay, come on." Well, they're like, "You obviously can come out."

And he's like, "Okay, I'm full, good, come on."

And then when they finally had to go in and they're all covered in huge shame.

Sometimes you get in somewhere and you can't get out of it. I don't, I do understand that. This man, this shoulders, shoulders are weird. Let's take this guy. Let's take this guy.

You're like the arms up. And then you go, "What's your get in there?" I still feel like at a this guy. Was it? You think he's lying?

I think he might not have been helping. Because they cut the slats out. And he kind of does this sort of a board of like, "Oh, I can't get out, man." "Oh, I can't get out." And they were, they were all these firemen.

If you watch this whole video, they're all like, "Dude, you absolutely can fucking got out." We know you can get out. And because he wanted them to come in there. And pull them out.

Yeah. So they pulled them out. Covered in human fucking shit. And then they, they hooked up the fire. I was just fucking pulling them off.

So they blasted them with the fire house.

I mean, they came off like your Michael Graham from UHF. And it was disgusting. But that must have been a little fun. I mean, they had a man covered in shit with the fire house. That's just all.

You only get to do that like two, three times your whole life. Yeah. You know, that's a big one.

“You know, I honestly would like to check that box.”

He, we could do this. He, they washed them off. And, you know, I don't know what they're doing with him now. I love the Porto Patti. The guy who works for Patriot Porto Patti's who posted it

his name's Matt von Swold. Oh, yes. Yes. He is Swold. Oh, this is cool.

Like the world's worst fraggle. No, this is the thing is that he refused. Now I'm in here. It is. He is, he should be like, no, I can't.

I can't.

I was trying to close it.

Yeah, because he knows. I think there's a little part of him that is afraid of being arrested. Which I do understand. But also like, I mean, he liked it. These are the last moments.

This is what happens, like, when I walk Harley, Harley likes her walks. You know, and whenever we get close to the house, she starts dragging, because she knows she's going to go home soon. I think that's what he's doing here. Yeah.

I think he's a lot like Harley. Yeah. Yeah, I could see that.

“Yeah, they had to take that hump off of him.”

He's so used to have the hump on him. He hasn't realized he doesn't have it anymore. And that's why he could. He fell in. That's why he fell in.

He still can do this. To the whole, he usually stops him. So catch him, because he's done this how many times. And he's used the hump. Stop dapping him before getting in there.

But once they quince the vet carved it off, because he got it done for free over there. He slid right through like he was a linguine noodle. What's, what's worse? This guy or the dead baby and the quarterback. Oh, this is both that baby.

It's much worse. And they are the baby sad. Yeah. This is aggravated. Yeah.

He's alive and fine. This is literally a pain in the ass. Like baby ruins your fucking life. You're out. So they are still very actively looking for the mother from that scenario.

And there were several people. Like it was kind of sad. There were several people trying to identify the mother. From footage from the. Everyone showed up fat left skinny, but.

It's literally. Like there's several. I just several posts on mine of people being like, this must be the lady you gave her. And I was like, I don't know. It just seems like a lady who might have lost a lot of weight.

Just leave the lady alone. Okay. I would stop. There's a reason to single out these women. Like they keep trying to say they're single and out women.

I'm sure an electric force festival. There's like multiple people there where you could be like, that must have been the dead baby. Yeah. They're like, no. Actually, no.

My baby died in a hospital. You know, I don't know. Actually, no. My baby died. But a month in.

I'm your friend. All right. So I got a similar story here. This guy didn't go to the port of Patti. This comes from a Morgan Wallen concert.

And this was over in Baltimore at the M&T Bank Stadium on July 18th. There was a family. They wanted to go see Morgan Wallen because they suck. And so they went to go to the Morgan Wallen concert. And during the concert, it was a man's wife and their niece.

And during the concert, there was a guy behind them. It was really annoying. And then they like, you know, they're like, hey man, you know, stop being such an asshole. And then the guy whipped out of the stickiness started peeing on the whole family. Hey.

And so you wanted to go see Morgan Wallen.

And so the wife was like, hey, I think whatever that guy's doing,

it's all over my leg. And then the guy turned around. And it's a true level of detachment. Just not think that anyone would ever urinate on you. Literally the quote is whatever that gentleman is doing, it's on my leg.

You know, it's unbelievable like not even like can't even because if she thought that it was urine, she'd be person of length. Yeah. So the husband said at that point, I kind of see him like bent over out of the corner of my eye. So I turned a look. He's got his genitalia hanging out.

And he's urinating all over the back of my seat. My wife's like my leg and my niece. And they don't fight him. I would have been on top of him punching him in the face. So they took the high road.

They went to the cops. The cops are like, it's not going to do about it. You deserve it. The cops are like, you deserve it. Okay.

Well, people pee. All right. Listen, we don't know that he peed. We can only say that you said you he peed. And so we have no evidence.

So we still think we can do nothing. I love better than get more assault at a fucking morgan wall in concert. That's so funny. They do that day. Like what I love is like of all the things to like play lawyer about.

Like all of a sudden.

“It's been like, uh, did he actually piss on you or not?”

And you're like, I rake of pests. I'm covered in urine. It was like, that could be yours. You could have brought it in a bottle and squirted yourself with it, in order to frame this gentleman.

You know what I got going. Oh God. This guy looks like a normal fan of country music. You know? The cops said we physically didn't see it.

So we can't arrest him. Yeah. You know what? We all covered each other in piss. Evan said he did it.

Yeah. You're right. You know what I like about this is that.

So often you never get to see like the privilege to experience this style of policing before

where people just don't where they just look at you and like couldn't fucking care less than you're in. Like that is so touch me. That's so funny because these are people that obviously they got money. They're like, they think that the whole world's going to fucking stop because that would

piss an autumn. And these guys are like, yeah. You know, you wouldn't believe it's one time. Like you're saying that this is real. Like let's just say there was one time.

A fellow police officer of mine. He pranked me by putting a live do-do inside of my own pants. Well, I fell asleep on my lunch break. I honked in me for the rest of my life. And I will not stand to watch a man get falsely accused again.

I've releasing his X from here. I had no evidence. I was no, I had no evidence. None. And the judge did no mercy.

All right. So you think I'm going to lay down a line for you. I'm certain you smell like piss before you came in here. You piss-filled woman. You piss-filled horror.

You fucking dirty fucking year and fucking witch. Oh, man. Oh, man. You know what? The guy said, uh, I'm the problem.

The one who paid on them. That's Morgan Wall and so on. I had to look it up because I refused to know his music. Oh, good. It's got a lot of lessons.

So people might know the reference. But I refuse to listen. So I don't, you know, I had to do the joke like that. He's like, uh, he's music. You punch your pregnant girlfriend too, right?

Like, that's what it is.

“I think, actually, no, I think he's smothering music.”

Ah. Yeah, no, he's smothering. He's, yeah, punching's too upbeat. Oh, yeah. That's normal.

You're by listening to sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel.

This is like the second time something like this has happened this month.

Someone's shit at a NOAA K-hand concert in the crowd. Oh, okay. And then, like, just, well, look at their business. Olivia Rodrigo took some shit recently because this is something that happens at concerts. There's people who are really crazy and they wear diapers and they go to the front of the stage.

And they don't want to leave because they don't want to lose their spots. Well, they just look at some people who are pressed against this front of the stage, or refuse to leave, often are covered in their own piss and shit. Oh, you know, not really, right? Yes, this is real.

This is something people do with, like, music festival. New Year's Eve. Everybody see your ZE, but the ball drop? Yeah. Yeah.

And then, so Olivia Rodrigo. I heard that because in New York, they're not a lot of lead. That's, it's the same thing. Yeah. But, yeah, yeah, because you want you leave.

You're not the front, you don't get to get the stage anymore. Well, it takes an hour sometimes just to see Olivia Rodrigo face to face. It's just a fucking shit. Olivia Rodrigo complained about in the interview. And then everyone should on Olivia Rodrigo.

“I'm like, I think she has a right to say, hey, don't piss and shit yourself for my show.”

I literally, I'm going to say this for last podcast on the left. If I know that you are wearing a diaper, voluntarily to watch our show,

I'm going to pull you on stage and we're going to collectively shame you.

Unless you have an actual reason to wear the diaper. I know I don't give a fuck. That's disgusting. Yeah, I'm going to need some, I'm going to need a little doctor's note. That is disgusting.

I can't believe that. I don't refuse to believe that's real. Oh, yeah. It's something that happens all the time. I don't believe in cash, but tells UFO dump more than I believe in that.

Yeah. Yeah.

“The guy that Noah Kahan, who Rob was talking about, he said, if you have to poop in a show,”

please dear God, go to the bathroom. I've pooped my pants as much as the next 29 year old, but you guys got to understand there's a venue work around there with a house in your house. How can we shit no fucking pants? They did it, that's the other part, they do they just leave the diaper and make it someone else's fucking.

How often are we really pooping our pants into adulthood? We need the bringla price of concerts down. Maybe we got to crack them all the way up. I have no idea. I don't know.

Like I don't know what's going on here, man. This isn't saying. All right. You know, we've talked about it on the show. I actively sharded myself.

But what? I've acted it. I sharded once. Really, I've done a way more than once. Your whole life, you only sharded once.

Well, that's very impressive. I let you say I got to the toilet. Every single time.

I pretty much always, every time I'm shit, I'm shit all over a toilet seat.

And I'm sad in it. I've definitely put a couple of timers of underwear in a trash can. That's different. That's hard. Yeah.

I've sharded. Yeah. It is. It's an accident. It's an accident.

Shitting your pants on choice is insane. I imagine it's mostly pee pee. Because I feel like shitting you can hold. Let's also put it this way. If you're pissing.

“If you need to piss that bad too, take off the pants.”

Take off pants. Take off pants. Take off pants. Shake on floor. Cheering.

Oh, maybe that's what happened with this guy at the Morgan Wall in concert.

Maybe he just didn't want to leave his seat because he needed to hear. I don't know. Let's look up. There's knuckle marks on my mom. And I put him there last night.

Yeah, whiskey goes wish. I could fuck her like my father does. Yeah, maybe he was singing. I got better. As he.

Yeah. That was his excuse for pissing you. I got better. I got better. Honestly, this brings us all full circles.

What I wanted to talk about where you weren't on the plane yesterday. Two days ago, and we were coming back from. We were coming back from where the fuck were we just. We were just in Oklahoma City. I said, we were coming back and.

I wasn't on the plane and boy, my arms tired. That's because you were joking off. Yeah, I had an experience where I turned out to look, you know. But a very little girl and a very old one then woman went into the bathroom together. Okay.

And then he came out. I don't know who did it.

“But the only way to describe it is it felt like I.”

Like it felt like fucking like Gary. Like what's his name? Like it really felt like you. Just took the worst horrific dump of your life. Like it was single worst. So I got I was gagging.

I got one of those on the plane. And the other people around us were like looking at each other and just had to cover our faces with our shirts from it. And it because it was I think the old lady brought the little girl in there to have someone to blame. Diabolical. I'm just saying I think a little girl's fucking drink. I don't know what she's doing.

Maybe they didn't want to leave the little girl alone. Yeah, which I wish car bombs. So she brought her in there to take a shit because they didn't want the little girl to sit there. I've seen an old woman blow up a bathroom before. Yeah, I think the old lady did it.

I'd like to think so. Yeah, because it's a little girl. I'm a Harold. I don't know. What do you guess? Ten eight.

You bring no. They were very in front of us. Like I was like, I'm a little kid. If it was. Like 13 14. Yeah.

No, no, no. Yeah, little kid. No 14 15. Yeah, yeah, 14 15. She went over their grandmother.

So it was like a baby. Yeah. Baby's got sticky poop sometimes. Oh, no, I know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, yeah, you can't leave the baby alone. You're going to hold it while you're shit because you got to hold it over the toilet. Yeah. I know how kids work. Man, I don't know.

Man, almost run me over for the toilet. And then obviously, I was like, hey, man, you need a more than I do.

It was a stinky one in there afterwards.

It was so much. Like all over the side of the ball. Sure.

“But he just first come first fucking serve.”

I don't care what the fuck you got going on there. It's best. I'm sorry. I'm the. That's where I may be mean, Eddie.

Yeah. Because even if that was true. And I knew you were going to do there by ahead of me. I would absolutely cut you off because I got to go faster anyway. Yeah.

Yeah. I let him go. I let him go. You're too nice. I'm too nice.

I wish I didn't. Or I wish I just held it. If I got to pee. Oh, I'm jumping in there. Yeah.

That old man was going to die. Hey, fucking. Do we know already? Fuck it. Just give up already.

Leave it to the younger people. All right. So we got more poo poo to talk about, right? Okay. I got this.

I have to cover this. So how many people just turn off the fucker? I don't care. You know, like this is what we have to cover. That's true.

It's true. It's true. It's not there show. It's just a little scenario. Oh, we got some don't we have some regular 10.

You want to get one? Yeah. Oh, that's so nice. People listen. Oh, yeah.

That's so nice man. Oh, man. Fucking blaze up. Block. Sick a block.

This gets from George from Lovelin, Colorado. Oh, yes. Thank you. All right. Here you go.

Yeah. This one goes out to Tootsie. Rest in peace. Oh, that's the peace. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Good. I can't.

Sorry. This is what I'm talking about. I can't go. It's a good man. Thank you so much, George.

Oh, my god. They keep that one around. Yeah. Thank you. That's a good one.

God. So last week, we debuted in the first place. We were going to be in the second place. We were going to be in the second place. We were going to be in the second place.

We were going to be in the second place. We were going to be in the second place. We were going to be in the second place. We were going to be in the second place. We were going to be in the second place.

We were going to be in the second place. We were going to be in the second place. We were going to be in the second place. Last week, we debuted in an interview. We did with influencer author Alyssa Grenfell who was wonderful.

She's truly wonderful. We wrote the she wrote the book How to Leave the Mormon Church. Go check it out. Specialty looking trying to figure out a way to get that she did. And we had a lot of fun.

We just kind of had a little like hang out in that episode where she showed us a bunch of the secret hand shakes. And one of the special things that she did was she brought in the special magic Mormon underwear for me to try on. But I didn't know existed. Yes. And so we got to put it on extremely translucent.

Very sexy. I looked great. And my main question to her.

Because my first question always gets something pure.

I'll do it. I will say it was the widest you ever looked. Thank you. We're trying. We're trying.

We could so hard with this Polish skin. Yeah. Everybody go people always ask me. Are you legal devote? And so my main question.

Obviously was this is thin, cottony material.

“What is the situation with Mormon men and skid marks?”

Yeah. And Alyssa and her. Truly, honestly, I want to say in her. Well, I'm going to say she's lucky. Yeah.

Because she said she didn't know. And she, you know, she didn't know. Or she was just too classive answer. Yes. But thankfully.

You guys were it. Because I got so many emails about. Which I, because I called it, obviously. Yeah. Because so many of you poor ladies were forced to wash your fathers and your brothers.

Mormon underwear and do everything. Yeah. And the stories, some of these make me want to fucking die. Some of these really, really, really die. All right.

So some people said you can bleach them, obviously. But they eventually get brittle. And they break apart. So this is one. I've been a huge fan of the show for nine years now.

I've always wanted to write in and give my two cents and something y'all are asking about.

As another former Mormon term atheist who also happens to live in Utah currently. I can say 100%. The magic underwear gets skid marked to hell by Mormon men. I grew up with two uncles who were both large hairy men like Henry. And I don't ever remember at time their underwear wasn't skid marked.

Love the shows. I was born into and raised in the church until I turned 21. And now I've been an exmo for 10 years. I actually was going to be why you I don't for a while.

“While Chad and Lori were living in Rutsburg and during their thing, right?”

Flex. Oh, well, honestly, I'm fucking. I'm jealous. The soup shit. It's extensive experience with Mormon men and their skid marks.

Most of the places I live that had up to eight dudes living there. Most of whom had been on their own missions. So they wore the underwear. And I can assure you that skid marks were a regular thing. Something that was joked about upon a month,

almost literally level of men's socialization in the church. And it was a widely accepted phenomenon. Because they took gay to touch your buttole. You know, I got the easiest fix. Swink the underwear brown.

Swink it brown. Swink it brown. Swink it brown. No, we just become black as cold.

I just want to reach out.

Let you all know that Mormon men have the worst skid marks on the planet. Whoa, that's, I don't know about that. That's this. I don't find out. I think it's the peptide.

I don't know. I can cut a couple of living suits. I'd like to argue with that. Yeah. I was in boot camp with the Mormon man.

And he still wore his temple garments at boot camp. And boot camp. We had something called streak of the week where they, they stamped the underwear that had been had a laundry time. And whoever has the worst streak in their underwear would get what they call

beaten, which is forced to do immutable individual workouts. Our little Mormon friend had streak of the week. All nine weeks of boot camp. Oh my god. Dude.

All didn't get me. I bet he was strong as fuck when he was done. My first duty station. No pun intended. I also had a Mormon there working with my unit when we went on deployment.

And that came to find out. He would walk around after work and the barracks with just his underwear. And the entire back of it was brown. The rest of it was white. And we all called him skid.

He just also about the pitchers. One thing is that pit stains, that's actually truly gross.

But the one thing also in learned is that then the problem is that you can't just throw them out.

“You have to ceremoniously get rid of them.”

So if there's little magical symbols that are sewn into it, that have to be cut out first. And then the whole thing has to be burned. It's fucking absolutely stupid. Another person talked about.

Not even just poo, poo marks and skid marks. Not poo, poo marks and armpit marks. Something says like, I was a Mormon. I wiped vigorously because I didn't want to be disgusted about my own underwear because I watched my father. He said my problem was was that it was white.

And it would collect every single little micro-militer of pee. So if you had a bit of pee dangling. So he said by the time, if you've been wearing a multiple timesman, how many wash it? You have a yellow patch right on top of your ball.

And plus what kind of turns into that too? Yeah, yeah, of course. Of course that's what happens. And so basically they just come back. Oh yes.

And it basically becomes permanent, the skid marks permanent. And then they eventually, they do call it, they say they call them well worn. That's the term. That's some more humans always have code.

Yeah. So like part of the way they say instead of saying, shit filled underwear, they say they're well worn. And it's time for them to be mended. Well, how about they take some of that fucking billions of dollars.

And just make sure everyone's got better underwear. Hmm. I do think that they could have some of that colloidal material. Have you seen that? No.

They have people resistant. Look up poop who resistant underwear. I'm looking at that. Oh, really? Yeah.

They have colloidal. It's like, you know this fart resistant underwear. It's diapers. What do you mean fart resistant underwear?

“There is underwear where you put like dryer shoes in your pants?”

No, but it has. It's like a type of. It's like something in the fabric that collects your fart smells. Oh, it's got to be like a spoof. Remember those when you used to smoke weed in high school and you take a shampoo bottle and you cut the end off and you fill it with dryer shoes.

You blow the smoke through that so your mom doesn't get you. Side story's LPOTL, the Gmail of Congress. Anyone work within the underwear technology sector?

Dude, this is how we stopped the butts, never.

Well, this is a problem. Beth's never also. He's still out there. Yeah. So I just want to say I'm sorry because that video I showed during my mandate was a butt liquor.

Yeah. Oh. But liquor. Yeah, he did a. He did a little.

He hit it with a little tip of the tongue where you get the. To be your tone where you can sweet take. Yeah. He's a fart filtering underwear. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, these are pretty cool. Yeah. I fart filtering underwear. I wouldn't wear it. I like you should try it.

No, I like my farts. But then you could do something like it would be kind of cool free. I feel like if anyone was going to share it. We do share an office. If there was a person that could truly test the rigor of that underwear, it would be you.

All right. Oh, maybe we're going to pair. Robin. We're going to put it on the subject. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it's for work. It is for work. It is for work. It is for work. It is for performance wear.

This thing you get a little pad you get put on your butt. Oh, I bet that's nice. If you're sitting down too long. It's also great for when you got the roids. Oh, man.

Well, I don't know about all that. Well, yeah, because you know when you. I know how you like to free bleed. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I got. No, I got my little tamp on from my butt. Yeah. Well, that's great.

[laughs] Defugging. You might not like it.

“This is going to what your whole life is going to look like.”

Once you hit your mid 40s, my friend. Oh, yeah. No, yeah. The people at leagues. So I also got here.

I got this one last little letter, which is really fun. My uncle and Gary Richway. During the Green River Killer Redux, it was briefly mentioned that Gary Richway often went to breakfast after his murders. I couldn't firm that the restaurant he frequented in this times.

It was a dentist. Apparently there is an exact restaurant. But I'd like to protect the dentist's innocence. Apparently. So it's not innocence and denting.

We all know. But we know that he's aimed at specific denties. It doesn't want to shout it out. I think it's the one near the Green River. [laughs]

So I know this because my uncle went to the same denties frequently enough to have a regular

In the period of time, where Gary was most active.

Apparently, my uncle said, Uncle's boss even had lunch with what they called him. They called him weird Gary. When asked about it, my uncle called Gary. He's kind of off putting.

And he said he wouldn't make sense. And he'd be real random. He was in a smart guy. Apparently, Gary also refused to talk about his day job at all. Even when asked directly.

My uncle didn't really think about Gary for years. Until we saw the guy plaster all of the front pages of the newspaper in the early 2000s. Unfortunately, as my uncle is notorious, notorious jabber jaw, I wasn't able to interact and ask of Gary at a regular denties order. And if I ever find out if Gary Richway had a favorite denties menu item,

I'll write back. Please do. And why is it? I mean, what would it be? I love that he's a jabber man.

He talks to breakfast. Well, I mean, I get it. I love the idea of talking. I, when I'm alone at breakfast, do not talk to me. It's in the morning.

It's not the same for me.

I don't think it's the same.

Well, I'm going to say right here, guys. Right now I'm straight up. I do believe that what he would do. That's a super slam. Do you think so per cent?

Yeah. You know, really? I would say probably just he seems boring to me.

“I think he's just two eggs, bacon, and, uh, and, uh, pentitis.”

You don't think super slam is boring. What else is in there? He's over my hammy. Moons over. Yeah, it's too much food for Gary.

He's too tiny. You got the berry stuff, French toast lamb. He's not fat. Plair-based pancakes lamb. Parker, what's this?

A super slam man. Hmm. Can we get that feeling? Those are the kinds that got like, like, like, Marcus eats big fat boy foods when he eats.

The only things he eats are extremely fat boy foods. And he only eats him like once a day.

So somehow he's like, say skinny doing that.

And then Gary Ridgeway might be like that where he eats one big super unhealthy meal every day. I could see Gary Ridgeway only eating one meal a day. We're in a big, sloppy, gross meal. And then he doesn't eat for the rest of the day.

Yeah, and he's just fiery. Yeah, and he's just smoking cigarettes and chewing gum and looking for prostitutes. Yeah. Like, Marcus.

(laughter) Got a fucking ass. Got a fucking ass. He's fucking nuts. He's got a fucking ass.

He doesn't do this show. No, he's fucking carried out. He doesn't know what happens over here. That's where he got a patreon.com/pocassamlaft. You get fucking list of those ad-free.

I'm going to also tell you right now. We're about to also at least with this episode. A secondary side stories interview that is breaking news. From Henry's Approximately. I'm very excited to hear this because I wasn't around for this interview,

but I can't wait. It is a full-on bricks and many things update with the man himself reckless Ben. And that we'll see. It's going to show up on this feed right after the show.

“So go check it out and go and remember live every day”

knowing for a fact that you're underware travels for you after you die. Yeah. That's the fact that how you treated your underwear will live and survive inside the memories of the loved ones

you leave behind. And you can laugh knowing that you're up in heaven with your entire army of wives and living your planet and God fucking damn it. It's great to have them all.

Watch my shit filled underwear up here on your wrist. Yeah, just know you make your children wash your underwear. They will talk about your dirty underwear. For the rest of very popular podcast until they die.

Yes, because you're disgusting. And you gotta wash your asshole. Um-hmm. L-P-O-T-L-dot. Kiss-we-dot-com.

Go watch JK Ultra. It's available for about one more week. Maybe eight, nine days. I don't know. They'll tell you.

I'm there. Just go check it out. It's the last time you'll ever get a chance to see this shit. We had so much fun on the road. Two and a half years.

Truly. Three confident. Six countries. Please watch it. It is a labor of love.

And we did something different this time. We didn't want it. Feel like the last time we had shot specials. They were really too tight. And I wasn't really happy with the outcome.

“And I think we finally, like, at least the world can finally see what our live show”

is really like. Yeah. So that you can get excited about seeing us when we come back into our next year as a main show. Last podcast in the left.

Um, someone, there was one thing I saw being like, there was some confusion. Are pot? Nothing's happening to the podcasts or the streams. No. Cause people people don't listen.

So it's nothing happening to the podcast with the streams. It is just last podcast on the left live show is not going to be going on tour. But side stories is soon. And we're going to have new dates for you. Yeah.

We're going to be starting that in September. No. I can't wait for that. But in the meantime. Come see me.

I'm on the road. Anytunes.com for tickets. Um, I got July 31, Chicago August 16th. LA. That's dead.

Men tell some tales. It's our Disney show. Henry's going to show up and be with me on that one. We're going to have a lot of fun. 9/11 and 9/12 D.C.

I'm going to be in fuckin DC and 9/11. Do it show. Yeah. I'm gonna force you over two days. Go see one of those.

Get them.

I'm going to have a do. I'm very excited. Get them.

I'm going to invite all my military people out too for that.

Yeah. I'm Milwaukee.

“If you're performing outside, can you call this as an outside job?”

I guess, well, I will be indoors. So it will be an inside. Oh, you know, we're completely forgotten. Is Jimmy thinking to be opening for you? Oh, Jimmy.

What is he? I'm sorry. That everyone needs to leave that portion alone. Just move them inside. So I'm going to use the capture.

I'm going to use the capture. I'm going to take care of him before somebody comes. See these are being a rescue. We can give a big ol.

This is like a reason why we didn't stack.

The reason why we didn't lead with Jimmy fees because the whole world has Jimmy fever right now and I figured that you already have it. And Jimmy fee is a meme record that has a spine fusion issue. Yeah. Super short and he's cute.

And the world is flipping up for him. He's a Seattle local. He's in the Bay Area. Go up there. Just go up here.

“I think it was the toxic copper spouting of the Tacoma area.”

That made him look like this. Yes. And I think that someone should probably take care of him. But he is just a raccoon doing his little job. And he's got cute little hands and a whole world loves him.

And I just don't want to know who we voted for.

Yeah. September 27th, I'll be in Milwaukee and October 4th, Denver. There's much more coming down the road. He's Jimmy thinking to be in any of those dates. He's in Seattle.

But I'll reach out. But if, yeah, because that's my thing is that I'd love this kind of need to see you do a collab with Jimmy. Jimmy fee, I think, has like hours to live. I'm fortunate.

I used like, for some reason, I have this idea of Jimmy like getting picked up by some kind of entertainment company. And then all of sudden, Jimmy fee is like being dragged around by some fucking like Olivia Rodrigo or something. Like, you know, he just clawed our tits.

Yeah. She gets angry when she gets scratched. And then he fucking gets like this is living with MGK or something. I'm afraid for Jimmy fee. I don't want him to get involved in showbiz.

He does a great version of I got no strings. I don't want him involved. I don't think he should be corrupted by this. I think he needs it.

“I think he needs to stay wherever he's at or we mean put into a proper home.”

He's going to go out with Morgan Wallan at the road. Oh, no. He's pissed on himself. And so it works out fine. Yeah.

I wonder how his situation is. So if you see Bugenia try to leave Jimmy fee alone. If you can, just don't kidnap him and give them to someone. So he's just like taking care of it. It's one or the other.

It's either leave him alone or give him to a hospital. And if not, just let's just because we all love Jimmy right now, but I just feel that the attention's going to be hard on him. Look at what it did to Kanye West. All right.

I don't want it to happen to him. I don't want him to go down the fucking radicalization. Fucking pipeline. Once he realizes his dreams are not going to fully go the way he wants to. Yeah.

Sure. He's going to show up and say, no, I'm on film. I act on film. You know what I mean? And they're going to be like, no, you may content now.

He doesn't even have a tail. No. So he wouldn't even make a good hat. No. Talk to that.

Make a great wallet though. So just leave Jimmy the alone. Okay. If we can. Or hire him.

One of the other. All right. We love you guys. We'll talk to you next week.