Is This 50? (Happy Birthday, Kim!)

- As my second grade teacher put on my report card, Kim Struggles was transitions. (laughing) And that has not ended.

- What's the most important thing

that you've learned in the last 50 years of your life? - It love is all that matters. - Oh my God, I wasn't gonna say it was so bad. ♪ Yeah, we get older, everything ♪ ♪ Cabo recalls that's okay ♪

♪ Yeah, we're laughing when we age ♪ ♪ Life is like a comedy stage ♪ ♪ And that's what we got plans ♪ - Hi everybody, my name is Kim Holdrenis. - And I've been Holdrenis and welcome

to the special extravaganza 50 year old version for Kim is turning 50 version of laugh lines. - Wow. - You do not look anything close to 50 honey. You look amazing.

“- But what does 50 I think, what does that look like?”

- Well, let's start with this. You don't always know how old you are. For example, if you have ever thought that you were 47 and then your husband needed to tell you that you're actually one year older,

you're in the right place. - I thought that happened to me. I was 47 for two years. Honestly, the numbers in the middle are kind of murky. - Yeah, yeah, right?

- I feel like between 45 and 50 with the old. - Well, I meant you and also just kind of like losing track of how many years. - I would say between 43 and 48, they're all the same. - Yeah, yeah.

- That's fair. - You guys, this is all about my wife, Kim. - Oh, Lord. - Turning 50, which is like we've been talking about this for a year, you set goals for yourself, right?

How you feeling? - Well, thank you for asking. I did set some big goals for myself. I wanted to show up on the doorstep of 50, just like a new, changed, better version of myself.

And we're gonna get to that. - Okay. - I thought that 50 would feel like angel singing, Oprah comes and brings me a cake, maybe. Like, it's a big deal.

And I would feel like this big shift.

I feel for the first time in my life

my mortality a little bit. I'm closer to the end than the beginning. - Unless you want to live to 101. - And I don't think I do. - Okay.

- Like aging is a gap. It is a privilege to age, we say that all the time. So it is shocking to me that I have this little twinge

“of oh crap, like have I done enough, like am I doing enough?”

Like am I doing it right? Because I feel like I'm on the-- - The back end of the old water slide. - Back end of the roller coaster, right? - Yeah, maybe not a water slide.

So we were on a walk yesterday and you mentioned this to me. And something that maybe this will help, like when I turned 50, I realized like the first like 20 years of my life, I was pretty much useless. Like I wasn't independent.

I mean it was fun. Definitely the first 10 years, like I needed someone to kind of carry me around. I don't know if I really did much. - Right.

- Just was. So if you think of like your ability to have agency and do something with your life starting at say 20, you're still in the first half. - I like your accounting.

- Thank you. - Careless about the things that don't actually matter, I careless about performing life correctly. And I just really feel this urgency to do work that matters. It's just such a weird feeling.

- I don't mean to unpack too much of it. Is it a, okay, now I'm gonna do this

“or is it like a bit of anxiety and panic surrounding it?”

- It's a teensy bit of anxiety. - Okay. - Which is weird because I think I credit Jennifer Aniston and J. Low and I mean all of these and gorgeous women who are like what,

nearing 60 or in their 60s and have made this midlife and beyond look very like fun.

And I've always thought aging was fun.

It's a gift. So this is, this has hit me in a weird way. This, I'm struggling to put language with how I feel around this birthday. - Which is, it's a very strange feeling.

- So you mentioned Jennifer Aniston. She, one of the things about her was, she was posting a lot of stuff when she was 50, like a stand up paddle boarding in Hanale. Like looking the part, you've accomplished that.

You look great. No one would ever guess that this is how old you are. So it's really, it's a number. - I think it's just something I'm gonna have to get over. I think it's probably a little speed bump

because I will say this. Everybody I know in their 50s has said without it out. 50s is the best decade. I think maybe you got some kids at home still. So there's still that.

You have more money to take vacation. Do you have more freedom. You're not wiping kids buts. You know like you have a eye in the prize

So the 50s are lining up to be awesome.

“- And I know you hear that from a lot of people.”

- Right. So thanks to our extraordinary friend Ann Marie Tapki. We have a surprise. We do have some people who have hit that milestone. - Okay.

- Who wanted to tell you what the best part about turning 50 is. - Okay. - Oh the greatest things about turning 50

were giving myself permission to put myself first

my needs before anyone else. Learning how to say, no thank you. And I love, I love, I'm 57. Like this is the best I get in my life. - Well, okay.

- The best part about being 50 is that you get the chance to see the way life has changed you. You get to see it physically in your wrinkles and in your body and in the choices that you've made that led you to where you are.

And you get to decide on purpose at this back half of our life sort of how you want to show up to let life change you moving forward. - So it was for you reflection and celebration

for all that you've done and all that you're going to contribute to in the world moving forward. - How do you put the camera? - Kim, one of the best things about turning 50

is that you know your hair can look like this and you don't care.

“No, actually, the best thing about turning 50”

was that you did because you know, aging's a privilege and as I get older, as I when I turned 50 was like, oh my gosh, more adventures and more fun and it has been a lot of learning and a lot of growing and way to get turned 72.

It's even more fun. Happy birthday. - Thank you, and happy birthday. This is a question we've been calling you to say, happy birthday.

The best thing about being in your 50s

is you finally know yourself.

Maybe not 100% is better than you used to. You know whether you're a morning person or a night person, you know whether you want to get a little bit party or quite gathering, you know whether you like deadlines or you dread deadlines,

just knowing yourself, that's a relief. - Welcome to 50. - Happy birthday, Kim. The road to be welcoming you into the 50 and over club. The best thing about turning 50

is knowing what really matters and building your life around it. Happy birthday. - Happy birthday, Kim. - It's great that you are now just at the halfway point

to becoming the Centidarian with a super age or status. I've thoroughly enjoyed all the chances I've had to visit with you and Penn in North Carolina and on your laugh lines, podcasts, twice and look forward to a lot more changes

than last together in the times ahead. - Have a great birthday celebration. - Really quickly for those of you on podcasts and not YouTube, I want to talk you through that was that was Mary Claire Haver, who is like the world's

leading menopause expert. After that was Dr. Hope's side del, who is the one that we call whenever we're having a panic about how to raise our kids. After that was Marilyn Smith, A.K.A.

- The heart walk lady, the night first.

- Yes, then we had Gretchen Rubin, who is a wonderful, wonderful source of advice for us. Again, a lot of times talking about like our kids leading college, then we had Jen Wallace who talks a lot about mattering in relationships

that matter. And of course, our dad Eric Jockel. - Hi, Dr. Superators. - Who we want to adopt as our parent because we love him so much.

- Well, first of all, thank you, team, for putting together that surprise. It was very surprising and thank you to the people who took time to call. That was really, that made me feel very special.

And I'm excited to feel those things. I will feel those things. Like, I can, I think what, you know, maybe with the words about, I'm shedding something right now. Like, I'm in a transition right now.

And as my second grade teacher put on my report card, Kim Struggles was transitions. And that is not, and then. So I think I'm transitioning now. And then, because I want to get to like,

woohoo adventure, put myself first. Like, I want to get there and I'm getting there. I'm just like, I'm just shedding. I'm just having a transition moment. - Okay, you're now 50.

- And you've talked about how you're feeling right now. But like, maybe the past you. Did you see it looking and feeling like this? - So I thought, if you would ask me when I was 25, what 50 was, I would have thought it was the golden girls.

I would have brought by 50. I would have a short cropped haircut. - And I thought it was cocoon. - Yes. - Like, I thought it, because Wilford Brimley

was like 52 when he filmed that or something. - That, he used me speechless every time. - Yeah. - Yeah, but I thought that you just automatically got a cropped haircut.

- Yeah. - Were you 50?

“- And you just lived with all your friends in Poka?”

- That I mean, actually would be, they were Miami.

to cover, like, what's a newspaper, right?

And I thought I would really understand interest rates in the economy. - Well, now your newspaper that you do read cover to cover most days is TikTok. (laughing)

- I do read the news. - It looks a little different. - I do read the news. I'm on the New York Times every morning. I still don't know anything about interest rates.

And like, what I don't understand why a lower interest rate would do one thing and a higher interest rate does it.

“And it makes it easier to borrow, but who's borrowing?”

Who's, like, what are we borrowing? I don't know. And don't explain it to me. - No, it's by the same, I'm not even gonna. - Yeah, don't explain it to me.

- Speaking of cocoon, number three, I thought I would be doing water aerobics pretty consistently at a community center. - Okay. - I grew up in Florida, so water aerobics

is like this is, so it's, but I just really thought that I'd have a membership to a community center by now. 'Cause water aerobics can't be a good workout, y'all. - You thought you were,

- Both are brimly. - You thought when you were 20 that when you drew a turning 50 that you were gonna die soon. - Yes!

- He was like, right? - 100%, I mean, literally my daughter when she was like, going on, she was trying to find a prom dress. She tried on my old prom dress.

She's like, this is vintage. It's from the 1900s. I was born in the 1900s pen. I'm vintage. - Yeah.

- I really thought by the age 50 that I would prepare myself balanced meals and kick the sugar addiction. Like I still eat shredded cheese over the sink, straight out of the bag.

And I still, if pen is not home, we'll have gummy bears for dinner. Like I really thought there was something inside me that would like click. - Yeah, anytime that we are in different places

and I call and I say, hey, anything like any ideas for dinner, not that I would want you to cook and move like, can I cook something? Should I pick something up?

The answer is almost always.

I had some gummy bears, a half a tray of cookies and a die of coke. - I'm good. - And some shredded cheese. - It's some shredded cheese, girl dinner.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - Also, like finally, I really thought it was gonna be so wise. Like see, all the women in the Dr. Eric Topel

“that you just heard from there don't they all seem so wise?”

- They seem pretty put together. - I just felt like I would be instantly like Oprah. Like I would be able to give really qualified advice. I still feel weird like when I have to sign a permission slip, my gosh, and he has gonna do it.

Like I still feel very, I just don't feel like a kid in a lot of ways. And then I try to stand up after sitting weird for five minutes and then I feel made. - Well, that's, I'm here to tell you.

Like I want to give you hope for most things but that you're gonna hurt yourself standing up or looking, just looking in one direction. You have been very self-deprecating and adorable as usual about all of this making it seem like, okay.

Like let's lower expectations. Like we're gonna show some video for those of you on YouTube. This is not what I thought 50 would look like. This is Kim in her new dance class. - That she's taking.

- And I wasn't gonna like put this out in public but it's, you put it on TikTok this week and a lot of people were like, damn! Like this is my wife dancing this week, okay? The week that she turns 50.

That does not look like a water aerobics willful, brimly, golden girl and structure. So I want to like applaud the fact that whatever you thought you were gonna be, you are kind of a smoke show dance

and I miss an amazing new studio

“that I think has helped make you feel younger.”

- Yes, and it's called dance insanity if you are in Raleigh. - The dances with Zio. - The dances with Zio. - I have to say that has been a highlight

of this past year is like finding joy in everybody there. I mean, there are definitely some young ins there a hundred percent but most women there are there because out of just they want to jump around

and dance and have a great time. So they've all been there all in their 50s. - Yeah. - There was a lot I thought I would know by this time and I thought it would be funny pen

to go to Instagram and ask people, like what did you think you were just gonna know by the time you hit 50. For example, I thought I would know how to fold a fitted sheet.

If you open up our linen closet is just like, and I know people say they know how to fold a fitted sheet but there's people know. - No, that's not a real way to fold a fitted sheet. - No, there's ways.

- Okay. - Yes, I just thought that like that's something that you wake up at 15, you're like boom. - Now I know how to do it. - You guys came through with some very funny answers.

There were a lot of trends. There was a lot of people who said things very similar to what me to read some. - Yes. - Okay.

More on this after these words. So this segment we're gonna call top 10 things. People thought they know by 50. Okay, this is from a trod.

It's way more than I thought.

- Yes, it's a lot of water. - Do you feel like that's the only bullet proof wellness thing in the last 800 years, like drink water? 'Cause everything else has been, I feel like disproved, reproved, has now been reintroduced.

Like we're gonna find out that's salt bad for you again. It's fine now, but water seems to be the one thing that's undefeated in the health space. - It tail is all the sign. - If someone's like guys were drinking too much water,

that's gonna be a stunner.

“- Yeah, and it's a lot of water you should be drinking.”

Okay, next, anything to do with investments by Jenny Hubbard, I will say that every other answer was, how to do my finances, what taxes mean? Like, a lot of people are in my boat. - Do you think that's just a smart thing

to just be like, you could submit else? Like, if you don't know how to do it, could like, there's a lot of services that can help. - I think that's why 50 is great because then you're like, you know,

what would be better than me trying to figure this out? - You.

- Somebody who went to school for this,

and that 50 you could probably have like a little extra to be able to do that. This is one of my favorites. How a plane stays in the air from breaching. And Gretchen must not like flying.

- Well, she doesn't know. I'm sure she loves flying, but I can, but same. Gretchen, I kind of know, there's like a lift thing, and I had a pilot telling me one time, it's like the fruit and the jello,

it just kind of like the air, you just stay there. But I agree, I don't understand it. You know how planes stay in the air. - I do, it's (laughs) - And you really, honestly, like it makes flying

so much more fun, like if both engines go out, you can still land a plane because of the way that it's aerodynamically shaped. - I love to hear that. - Yeah.

- Although I watched hijacked, it was a little... - A little dicey. - A little dicey.

“- Sarah wrote, how to cook an amazing meal without a recipe?”

(bell dings) I really thought I would be hosting regular dinner parties. - You can do that. Like, I'm not saying you can cook a hundred meals. - I have like one.

- You've got seven to eight excellent meals that you do not need a recipe for. And then the other ones, you sometimes use a recipe. - You can't. - Living with a spell, how to keep plants alive.

- Whoa. - I really thought there would be like a garden. I would have, yeah. - I think if I have an old Pinterest board that probably had like English, garden, inspiration's on them,

I really thought I'd spend more time learning how to do that. - If you're a plant and you wanna come hang out at the Holderness Residence. - That's a cost-vest. - You're gonna get killed.

- We are the transitions, health care. - Yes. - Of plants. - We try to give you a happy and dignified end. (laughs)

- We honor you in that we let you die completely. - Yeah. - Before we kind of toss you over the fence. - And then in March we're like, "Oh, it could be some flowers here."

“And one of us says, aren't they just gonna die this year?”

And the other one says, "No, I bet you they're gonna make it through this one." - The blind optimism. - I think they all die. But I think I thought I was going to be the type

of person that kept plants alive, right? - Yeah. - Do you think we live in like an Indian burial ground where the plants are cursed? - Do you know where the vegetation is?

- Is it the clay? - No. - Is it 'cause we suck at it? - We don't water them. - Yeah, that person's problem.

Let's go back to number one. How much water do you need? - We just, and sometimes I'm sitting on a couch at night and my God, we just got this new plants. I should go get a hose and water him down.

And then I'm like, then in my brain I go, if I lived on a farm, how many things could I keep alive? - Like, well if I had a goat, I could probably keep them alive 'cause they're actually alive. And then I just go, and then I forget to water.

- Or people who visit our house, the first thing they say,

and they can't even hold their tongue. They're like, is this what your yard looks like? - No, no. - That's like Taylor Calmus was in town last weekend. The guy from Dude Dad literally was like,

"So does nobody water anything around here?" - Just us. - It was like no Taylor. It's like, honestly, look how environmentally friendly we are. - Thank you, yes.

- See? - Like what Taylor does is basically the same as like punching a dolphin with all the water he uses. (laughing) - Sorry.

- Need to make it past 50, baby, okay? - Is this how I'm going? Could you imagine, how did you die podcasting? - Five casting about my mortality. - I thought in Kyle wrote,

how to be confident in my decisions. - No. - I really thought I wouldn't know the exact right answer every turn. - Well, you just need to be a white male.

(laughing) - True, you seem very confident. - I'm not, but it's just, we get a card. - You're gonna card your life.

- You're a white male, just say it. - You don't make decisions, even if they don't make sense. - If it makes you feel better, I didn't that confident at all. - Well, you seem confident. - Thank you.

Watch the next time I tell a story, I don't just tell it, I'm like, - You're like looking for a valid answer. - You like it, was it okay, yeah? - Okay, yeah.

- Fair. - We got this from a lot. What I want to do when I grow up. I think that was the most overriding event. - You didn't think so, you didn't think.

- So, you thought you'd know what you were gonna do

- I still don't know. - I still don't know.

I will say the beautiful thing about what we get to create here is like every day we get to be something else. Like today we're podcasters tomorrow, we'll be authors and then we're video creators and like,

“so I think that we get to invent that every day,”

but I know this is very rare. Up until we start doing this, I was like, "Oh God, this is not it." - Well, we haven't grown up yet. - Maybe that's it.

- Yeah. - Planning it. - Repeater, planning the crap out of life. From Wendy, understand the greater than and lesser than sign. (bell rings) Okay, Wendy, I do know this.

Okay, and let me tell you what my teacher taught me. It's like the little Pac-Man signs, the greater than lesser than, the Pac-Man's eating, the bigger one. So wherever the mouth of the Pac-Man is,

it's the bigger one.

- That's something that every school could use.

- You didn't learn that way? - No, they were like the smaller part is the smaller thing, and the bigger part is the bigger thing. - Oh, Pac-Man, eating the bigger one. - Okay. - I just wanted to read that one, Wendy,

because it felt very specific, and I felt like I could help. Okay, I'll do the next one 'cause it's along the same vein. It's on him, Tim Zola, it just said math still know. We did get a couple emails from math teachers previously,

because I have said things like numbers make me sad. Okay, and they are very kind, and they say this with love, but like when I say that, that makes math seem not accessible for people. So I don't want to perpetuate, especially for girls and STEM,

I don't, I'm math is amazing, my daughter was a math tutor, math is amazing, and you're gonna go places, kiddo. For me, I, and it makes me sad. - Yeah, I'm sorry, I thought we were about to have like our first ever Kim apologizes.

There's a lot of pin apologizes. - Uh, no. - Okay, so no. - I'm 50, no, last one, from legacy impact, how to clean a shower without kidding soaped.

I have never been able to clean a shower without kidding soaking wet.

So, how do you do it? - Me? - Yeah. - Are you supposed to clean a shower?

“It cleans itself, that's what the soap is in there for.”

And then when you, okay, when it gets to a point where you're like, well, that doesn't look normal. (laughs) Then you clean it. - Ew, what would say your bathroom look like

if you were still single? - Well, you saw it when we first started dating. - I know, but still your age. - There would be one towel. It would have never seen any sort of laundering

because it cleans itself. In fact, I'm every time I wash myself, like, dry myself off, that towel's getting cleaner 'cause there's little bits of soap on there. Then nobody knew about.

There would be, so the corners would be the main problem spots. - Okay. - Like I would get stuff, I'd pick stuff up, but then hair and fingernails would find their way into the corner of a room. - Oh, you're asking like, well, like, now?

- No, I know what it looks like now. - Yeah, so, but when I was in my 20s, it just was not a priority to me. I'm like, no one's ever gonna be in here. This is my space and chaos works for me.

Definitely three or four options, immediate options of underwear when I get out of the shower. - I mean? - Yes. - So when I, it's really embarrassing.

When I did my own laundry, when I was living by myself, I put my underwear in the bathroom. Because I didn't want to walk all the way, poo bear, like, walk all the way into the dresser. - That doesn't make a lot of sense.

- Yeah, so it was like, in one of just underwear, it was in, like, and there's a closet in my, do you guys have closets in your bathrooms? - We don't, okay, now, but you used. - So it did, and it just had a little,

let it live in the bathroom. It was, like, just underwear. - I think that's actually very smart. - Thank you. - Yeah.

- Did I just do, does that a thing? Did I just make a thing? Did I just make that chapping? - Sure. - Did I use that, right?

- Yeah. - So I just wanna say again, how much I love our audience, how much we love laugh nation, because those were all great, like, to the point that we had to have honorable mentions.

- Yes. - And we, we sit here in chuckle at you guys in your creativity, and I feel like, I feel like we're friends with all of you. Anyway, some honorable mentions of things

that people thought they'd know, one woman said, finding a good fitting bra by 50. Still know? - Uh-huh. - You've gotten, yeah, I mean, it fits well.

Is it comfortable? - No. - They thought that they would know more types of birds, well, they're still time for that. (laughs)

- Well, well, well, well, well.

“- Uh, we, I guess it would have come out by then, right?”

Like, we put a video, like, let's play the video. ♪ I don't know what you heard about me ♪ ♪ But I was there for an hour and a tree ♪ ♪ 'Cause I don't know how strong what you could do ♪ ♪ Got to identify that reality ♪

- By the way, that video was a came out of the brain of Anne-Retapky, and sometimes, you know, we all pitch ideas, right?

and we're all like, "Yeah, I believe the call, right?"

“- Yeah, he's like, "I have to write it now."”

- Yeah, it's a really good sign. If we all have to leave the call, this has to be-- - This has to be-- - And someone comes up with an idea. - Yeah, it was so good. - And, like, the perfect sign

to match with it, and that was all empty. - All empty? - People thought that they would know how to master time management by the time they were 50. - I have, like, a time distortion thing.

I don't know how long things take. If I have an appointment at noon, I can't do anything all day, yeah. - What about baking something from scratch? Stuff that you would know how to do that?

Like, biscuits? - Yeah. - From scratch. - Mm-hmm. - You made some stuff from scratch? - Yeah, I'm a good out of cookie, a cake. A biscuit, though, can I just, here's where,

I'm not truly southern. They just, they taste so good out of the little tune. - The tin? - The thing that you like, what do it to explain? - I mean, it's as if I am trying to dissect a bomb.

What's the word for-- - Did you fuse? - The fuse. - Words are hard, okay, go. - But isn't that, like, a satisfying feeling

when it kind of flips out? - I get scared, it's like, dude. - Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. - People thought that they would know how to be consistent about taking their vitamins

by the time they were 50. Need you pillbox, G? - Get a pillbox. - Yep. - Okay, how to fill out a tax form?

- It is deeply unfair, I get it, that you as an individual American is like, they make you guess and they punish you if you're wrong when you have these corporations that go years without paying taxes.

It's deeply unfair.

- Yeah, but like the first time I brought my taxes

to someone, I was like terrified that I was gonna like spend money on it and it was H&R block and it was like, whatever the super safer package was, like a trainee came to me and I saved so much money.

- Yeah, the word this is not sponsored, but I'm a big believer in like having help with that. - Yeah, I fully agree with you. - People go to school for that. - Yeah, and finally, how to clean,

how to clean your vacuum cleaner. I get that, especially if you have like dogs,

“there's you have to clean like five compartments.”

- Yep, I've mastered that. - You have. - I'm very good at that. Okay, should we do my road to 50 update? We have been updating all your long,

but this will be like the final final. - This is a road to 50 finale. - 50 finale. - 50 finale. - This is where everybody finds out

how you did in the road to 50 and how gentle you were on yourself for things that you maybe didn't get to. - Okay, ready? - Yep.

- More on this after these works. - Okay, one of the things I was really, you've heard a lot about this was to read 50 books. I'm on Book 63 now, I think.

So that's been quite amazing to watch.

- Yeah, that has been the best part of this last year. Maybe not the best part. That has been a highlight of the last year. And I have to say, I know so many things now. Like I can contribute to conversations in different ways

because either I've written a read a book of fiction or I read everything as tuberculosis by John Green. Did you read that? - So good. And I was able to have this whole conversation

about how tuberculosis basically was influencing pop culture. I mean, it is really eye-opening. And so I'm excited to do more. - If you read one more, if you get to 64, you could do a March Madness bracket

of your favorite books. - That would be really hard because I loved so many. - Oh, you don't like picking things over other things. Can you tell me your number one favorite? Who's your national champion?

“- I think I've said a Frederick Bachman.”

My friends was a really good read. - Okay. - Yeah, I liked that one. But again, I also don't want to put an author down, 'cause we've written books.

I hate to be the first one out.

- Do you want me to feed you your resolutions and you can give us updates? Okay. 50 acts of kindness. - I think if you added them up, yes.

But my goal was to wake up every day and find a way to help people. And it is true that I think when you are in service of two others, like it brings to a certain kind of joy. And in the beginning, I was really good at it.

Like I would put people's grocery carts away. I've paid for some coffee, like sneaky paid for coffee. I've done some go-fundmees. But I will say, I sort of like, I just found ways to be kind in my daily life.

And so I think I counting it got really hard. But I think so, I think I've been. - I can account for it. You've done more than 50. You've been, you've been great about that.

And you've done it in spite of the fact that we've had a lot of construction in our street this entire year, pull-up. That was a big one. You wanted to do one pull-up.

- I wanted to do one unassisted pull-up, just one in my life. And I started strong, y'all. And then I stopped and for no reason. I still work out.

- You bought a couple of little, do you hate this? - I bought a couple of do-hit keys like it, 'cause Penn has a pull-up bar in the garage,

And so it made it like so I could reach it. It was, I was so far away from it being, I could barely, I could hang there and I could kind of activate my shoulders.

I was like, this is never gonna happen.

So I did what I do, which is if I don't think, I'm gonna get it, I quit. And if I don't think I'm gonna do it well, I quit. So I would say by June, I quit. And I have to say, I probably worked,

I probably didn't do as many push-ups as I normally do. Like for whatever reason, I sort of like, I can't, I can't get stronger in my upper body 'cause that might get me closer

and I know I'm still not gonna get it. - Wait a minute, so you, I've wanted all upper body work out. - Who deep-sixed any upper body workouts so that you weren't tempted to try,

'cause then you would be more disappointed if you failed. - So quitting early made it easier. - Yes, okay. - My friend Ilyana sort of diagnosed why I wanted to do that because Linda Hamilton and Terminator 2 was so,

“but I think women in Gen X looked at that as like,”

that is the gold standard of what arms should look like.

- Yeah. - So I, I should have had it like, that I would be able to do 25 push-ups, right? That, so I just, I really sucked at that. - Okay, well that's honestly, think like,

if we look at this, you're pretty good record otherwise, walk, you wanted to walk 1,825 miles in a year. - That's about 10,000 steps a day. - Yeah. - And I did that.

And how I judged it was, I wouldn't get 10,000 steps every day, but say I got, there's some Mondays. Mondays are a lot of meetings here where I'd get like 2,500. So then throughout the week I would get an extra 1,000. Or there was days I would get 20,000 steps.

And then for the rest, I just sort of had a mental accounting. I actually did keep track monthly, and I did that. - You walked a Denver girl. - Oh. - It's amazing.

- Yeah.

- That's about how far I think that's about how far Denver is,

because if someone looked that up. - Denver is 1,630 miles from Raleigh, okay? But what you could do in 1,825 miles is either El Paso, Texas, or Salt Lake City, Utah. - Oh, so you could've gone a grand junction also,

which is, in between those. - I could go to either of those places. - Yeah. - They all seem great. - And then lastly, say yes when invited somewhere.

That was a big one for you. - It was a big one for me. I will say I mostly did that. - I would say you improved by 200%. - Correct.

- You probably said yes one out of four times before, and now you're like three out of four. - Yes, that's what it feels like. There are still some moments where very kind of people invited me places.

And I was like, this is like it's not gonna happen. It's eight o'clock. I didn't do that. Like so-- - You were out and about.

- I was. - You know it really helped. Majong. Majong helped to help these, 'cause you got a lot of invitations to do that.

- I did get a lot of invitations to Majong, but here's another thing with Majong. So I started with a group of ladies, and one of my friends in particular, who I love, very much Hillary,

has dedicated her life to this. She plays in tournaments, you guys. So I will go play, but everybody is so great. They've kept, they've gotten-- - Everybody's so consistent with it,

because they enjoy it, and these ladies are so kind. There's no real competition, but it's like I hate being the worst at something. And so sometimes if I'm like, "Oh, those people are playing,

like that's not gonna be fun for me." Which is so stupid, like I need to stop that. But I did say yes a lot more. - Yeah, that's a new development and Majong though.

“I think that you're still pretty good at it”

from what I've seen. - It's a probability thing. It's like, oh, yeah, I mean, I'm fine at it, and I'm not gonna win a contest. - Just show overall, like four out of five on some really,

I remember you making these goals and thinking, (laughs) I honestly, I thought that the pull-up would be one of the easier ones, because it's easy for you. - Well, that's true, but you know what it was?

I thought that you would really get into it, and it's just like you did these other four things, and you over, this is so Kim, you over did several of them. You did more than expected.

Okay, so here's the big question. This was for 50. Do you have any goals for 51? You love talking to my goals? - No, I'm gonna think about it though.

- Okay, pull-up maybe? - Row to 60, do I get myself 10 years now? - Yeah, I mean, you can do whatever you want. - Yeah. - I made no goals when I was, this is just for me.

I made no goals, specific goals when I turned 50.

“I made a super secret kind of internal goal”

that I wasn't gonna get less healthy. - Okay. - Like I was gonna, like on the whole, I was gonna get healthier. I don't know, like that's the kind of goal that would work for you.

That's like, it's not attainable. - Well, no, no, it's just like not very specific. I like something very specific. - Yeah, I need help with my goal making.

I'd like to be better at my goal making. I know you can help me, you're really good at making goals. You like making goals for me. - I know, I know, I know, I know, you're welcome. - Okay, so before we go because it is laugh lines,

let's take one of your calls. ♪ That's the part of the show where everyone will find ♪ ♪ That's the part of the show where everyone will find ♪ ♪ That's the part of the show where everyone will find ♪ ♪ That's the part of the show where everyone will find ♪

- Hello, this is DJ Waldo calling from Sacramento, California. - I think he sounds like a DJ. - 50, I'm February 23rd. Side note, I met Penn briefly and took a picture with him at a UNC Michigan game at a Michigan alum.

I just recorded, I did something really fun for my 50th, where I did a podcast, like a five to seven minute podcast of 50 things I learned over the 50 years on this planet. I don't know if you're planning to do anything like that, but it could be some of the info.

And now I'm rambling, and I hope you're still listening, and I hope this is helpful, and keep doing me guys doing the best. - Oh, love DJ.

“- Is there everybody guy who sounded more like his name was DJ than DJ?”

He sounded like a radio DJ, yeah. - That's sure, okay, so 50 things you've learned. I've learned a lot of crap. - Yeah, you've learned about the Pac-Man thing. - I've learned about the Pac-Man thing.

- With the grit, I don't know that we are equipped to really go for 50 things right now.

What's the most important thing that you've learned

in the last 50 years of your life? - It love is all that matters. - Oh my God, I wasn't gonna say it the same thing. (laughs) - What would you like to quit you?

(laughs) - I think the thing that I've been able to process is like the little stuff actually doesn't matter. Yeah, and I think that, especially in our marriage, we do such a good job of picking our battles.

- Yeah. - I'm like, okay, you win, let's move on. Like it's just, it's big stuff. - Yeah. - Mm, good.

- What about you? - It's better to clean your butt with water. - You guys, I got Penn a bidetay for Christmas, and he has never loved to give more. It has a heated seat.

“There is heated water that shoots across your bum.”

And it's like a little angel has a hair dryer underneath it afterwards, and it's like an air dryer. - Yeah. (laughs) - So you've loved that experience.

- I've never felt cleaner.

I can tell you that much. I'm not sure where everyone's looking at me funny. - Anyway, this has been a great birthday, episode. Thanks, babe. - Before we go, this is our one last surprise segment.

I'd like everyone to look under their chairs, and when you don't see anything there, I want you to look over. - So you're left. - It's cookie cake!

(cheering) - You guys, not you guys, it's Amory. Amory does all this. - Amory does all of this. - Yes.

- Amory is like the gift giver in planner. You a cookie cake to share, thank you. - Or not, I mean, if you want the whole thing, that's too much. - And it has so much icing on it, good job, Amory.

- Amory, you're very good. - No, I'm not, I'm not Oprah. I know you said that at the top. You thought Oprah was gonna come in with a cake. I'm sorry that it's me, but still a cake.

- Greater the like sign, greater than sign. Oprah. - Pac-Man. - Oprah. - Oh, the Pac-Man's face toward Amory.

- Yes. - And Oprah is, yeah, I'm telling you. - Yeah. - Too much praise. We have had several of you email or messages

that you also have been adding cookie cakes, the grocery cart, and it is also adding joy, and that sometimes they're hard to find, which was really funny, they liked it. The Holderness family put a rush on cookie cakes.

I do not believe that to be true, but our son just got his license, and one of my joys is just being able to send him places, like he's our personal door-driver now. I'm like, go to Harris Theatre, which we love in a door,

and go pick up a cookie cake, and it was later, it was like at nine o'clock at night, they were out of cookie cakes. So we came back with a bag of frozen sugar-free cookies. We are still working on details with my guy.

They weren't bad.

I was like, wow, I've never seen chocolate chip cookies.

They were very good. Out of the frozen chips, I don't think they needed to be cooked. Yeah, he was trying his best. He was texting, I was like, I'm gonna let him figure this out. These are some life lessons,

but he got called sugar-free chocolate chip cookies. Yeah, we still ate him. Anyway, cookie cake! And thank you for making me feel so special. Thank you, thank you.

And thank you for those that are still listening.

“Kim, it's your 50th, who would you like to read the credits?”

And how would you like them to read the credits? This is your special day. And you read it like Oprah. Sure, I can try, but I'm... Okay. (laughs)

That flines his written and produced. - I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. - I'm sorry, let's stop it right now. - What does that sound British? - What?

What do you want me to sound like? That flines his written and produced by Kim Holderness.

With original music by Penn Holderness,

“it is filmed, edited and live produced by Sam Allen.”

And hosted by Eccast as always, we'd love to hear from you.

Please, please, from the bottom of my heart,

“write to us at podcast at the HoldernessFamily.com.”

Or leave a voicemail at the simply delightful landline,

known as 3233643929.

“And we will talk to you soon on Laplace.”

- She does a bentiate very well. You did a great job. - You did a great job. - She's British! (laughs)

Oprah. Okay, bye.