How a Terrified Hairdresser Became a Public Speaking Coach

You have to know your material well enough. You leave them with what is going to help them and make a difference for them

Donna Ricardo is a confident empowering and accomplished professional speaker coach best selling author in the founder of red stiletto through her work She helps women in entrepreneurs build confidence and craft compelling presentations empowering them to amplify their voices and create lasting impact What I had for many years was teaching and training and working with people and I had really gotten over a lot of fears

“And so I thought well that's what I have that's what I enjoy that's what I've learned that's what I've trained myself to do and I can help other people do it”

So I stepped away from behind the chair and started a business helping people with speaking How important is that preparation to what you're doing now? Well the purpose of it is really Oh Welcome back everybody to another episode of the living your legacy podcast today

I am joined by Donna Ricardo of the red stiletto. How are you doing today? Just finish your interview

“So we're on the other side of it now. Do we get all the jitters out? We got all the nerves gone. How are we feeling?”

Yeah, I feel good. So for the audience out there that's watching this they haven't seen your episode yet So they haven't got a full like introduction to you kind of walking through your story from Jersey correct. Well, I grew up there I hope well New Jersey. I hope well New Jersey. I don't do it jersey in the house. I got family in West Orange Okay, it's a nice nice little area. Yeah, that's way further away from Hopewell Yeah, they're kind of like up in up in the mountains, but they're not that far from Newark, but talking me a little bit about growing up in Jersey

Well, I grew up in a small town around 2000 people and I think it's at this time not even many more than that if if many at all any at all I grew up with my mother and father and my brother a year and a half younger and we lived in this small town and we would just like go out walk around and do whatever whatever You know go to the drugstore go out and play in the fields. We used to climb trees back and see that's back in the day that's we don't kind trees anymore We might hug trees maybe a little bit but um cats and dogs exactly so talk to me a little bit about you know

You're you're an entrepreneur today. How did we get from young Donna to entrepreneur Donna? Where was that transition? What was kind of the aha moment of I need to start a business? Well, my parents were entrepreneurs, which I really didn't fully realize until many many many years later Because they were just who they were. Yeah, you don't kind of understand it as a kid you're like, oh, they're just going to work, but you don't realize that they're going to work at their own thing

Right, and in my former career I was a hairdresser and I always felt like I was an entrepreneur because it was me and my client

It was up to me to you know have the clients come back to me and keep them happy and have them send their friends and I you know sell them products And I always felt like I was very entrepreneurial and it wasn't until I actually went to start this business that I realized I was a subcontractor and it's way different Super, super different. That's that's exactly how it started for me when I got into video like I was like, oh, I have my own video business, but in reality I was a subcontractor. Where did that shift happen? Where do we get to red stiletto? Well, there came a time when I just could not do hair anymore

Just I just could my body's like, yeah, no, you got to step away from my chair And but what I had for many years was teaching and training and working with people and I had really gotten over a lot of fears to be able to do that

“And so I thought, well, that's what I have. That's what I enjoy. That's what I've learned. That's what I've trained myself to do and I can help other people do it”

So I stepped away from behind the chair and started a business helping people with speaking

How do we get from hair to becoming a speaking coach? Well, at first I wanted to help other hairdressers because I've done this very rigorous intense advance training

And kind of as a hairdresser, you're moonlighting as a psychologist Like my barber would say the same thing like when I'm sitting down in the chair with my barber, well, I'm my own barber now But that's the size of the point where I used to have a barber. He was like a therapist, so it's like you get an intro sort of to that speaking world through that avenue Kind of it was really because I wanted to work with the stylus and other salons. That's really what it was. It wasn't really that because that for me was more about listening

That the speaking thing came into being and it didn't go well at first and I realized if I wanted to make that difference I had to learn

So the typical ups and downs of a business owner. I mean your first go at it. It goes like this and then it goes all the way down and then it goes right back up again What are some of the early like pitfalls that you might have fell into early on when starting that business? Well, but I didn't know and I didn't really put it together for a long long time is that you need to prepare. You know, I mean some people can some people are good that I think they're the exception like unicorns they can just get out there and just do their thing

But most people don't operate that way and I was not prepared and I didn't know what I didn't know I didn't know I wasn't prepared and people who who did those sort of trainings were the ones that were the unicorns They were getting out there like oh, I just talked about what you're doing while you're doing it

“Except that that doesn't work for everybody and it didn't work for me. I'm such a firm believer in like preparation is the key to like even in film”

We spend time at so so much time in pre-production, which is all just prep, right? We're getting prepared, we're going through scripts, we're going through locations, we're going through all of these different things to make sure that when the day comes that we're actually filming I know exactly from A to Z from the day the moment I show up to the moment I leave I know exactly what's going on that entire time How important is that preparation to what you're doing now?

I think it's extremely important and I think that the people that don't take the time to prepare doing themselves because they're always the ones that later say to me

I wanted to say that or I forgot I wanted to say that and I said this instead and I rambled over here Because they were not prepared and there's always those same people or they just forget So it's always like think the preparation is huge and that can look a lot of different ways because different people do it differently

“But I think it really really matters like if you think of those big name speakers, you know like we just lost Jesse Jackson, right?”

Like huge Huge speaker person that made a difference do you think he was winging in all the time? No, but he knew it so well He could speak from the heart and he could look like it was freely spoken You know Obama does a great job at that as well where like when he gets up on stage

You don't even really realize that this is a prepared speech that he's doing He does this he does a great job of like mixing in ad libbing and being able to pivot on the fly and when things are going a little bit differently Than the plan was was there for it's funny when when you brought that up you ever have like an argument with somebody And then like a day later like I should have said this like it brings up that moment to me of like in retrospect

You always have a different view of how something could have gone

But I also think it's super important to be really analytical of how things did go so that you know exactly how you can prepare next time for the future

“Yeah, I think that's super super important if you had any tips out that any tips for our viewers out there”

Who might be in a similar space or I mean preparation in and of itself is a concept that can be translated among every business What tips do would you have for people on just the purpose of preparation and like how to do it efficiently? Well, the purpose of it is to really remember first of all that whatever you're saying is not for you is for your audience And so the purpose is to make sure that you leave them with what is going to help them and make a difference for them Not what you wanted to say now there is what you want to say, but that's not the purpose

But what you want to say is going to make a difference for them so it's it's major and I think you know there's different ways people do it I personally I like to write it all out and I like to know it well enough so like you were saying no ad libbing and pivoting You have to know your material well enough you're talking about well enough so that you can dance with it that way Right, otherwise you're rambling Yep, and like especially if you're the it's happened to me actually did I did stand-out comedy for the first time a couple of weeks ago

And I had written out this like five minutes set and I practiced it and practiced it in the shower and as soon as I got up on stage The lights hit me and my mind just goes shoop And I was like oh because it's not just a light like these ones that we have in the studio It's a spotlight directly to your eyes you can't see anybody in the crowd everyone's just a silhouette lost it completely And I just stood up there and rift for for a good five minutes

I bombed horribly, but for people that are up there that are up on stage speaking If you don't know your material and you try to pivot what will end up happening is you don't have an anchor point to come back to Right, you don't know where the next step in your presentation was

Right, I think that's like a major thing for anybody that's going up on stage and speaking is

Knowing your material super super well So I totally agree with you on that one If there's anybody out there that is struggling and this is less so for speaking up on stages And more so for just business in and of itself If there's anybody out there that's super struggling with starting up their business

“Getting through those first pitfalls that we talked about earlier what advice would you have for them?”

Prepare with the end in mind and know your opening line Like just know your opening line So if you really nervous just have a strong opening line And some good things to think of could be a startling statistic 75% of all people men and women alike are you know scared of public speaking. I think it's you know terrible

It's like you know, but worse than death, but you know have a strong opening line I think that's arguable, but it's still a lot of people regardless So of a strong opening line have a startling statistic have a bold statement Or some kind of engaging or provocative question Was something that's going to have people go

Oh, she's about to talk stand up at attention. Oh, all right And then pause let them take it in Then another way to keep them going in it gets you off of the hook a little bit for a few minutes have engagement audience engagement You know like all the nerves are before right anticipation is where the nerves live So then I'm up there. I have my opening. I know what that line is I'm pausing

I get to take a breath and then have some audience engagement ask them questions And it could just be where they raise a hand or you know they call out a word or something But have a little bit of audience engagement that will help give you a little more breathing room And then know your talking points if it's short 20 minutes one talking point if it's longer you know 45 or an hour

You can have three have stories. That's good because I never actually realized that there was like a benchmark for

“All right, if you have 20 minutes you get one you get one talking point one really good point that you should hit on if you're up there for 45 to an hour”

You may get two or three. That's a good like benchmark for people to think about that's my first time hearing it I also heard then you also mentioned that pausing is so important huge a lot of people get up there And they just I'm gonna blaze through this material that I have and I have my slides behind me And I'm just gonna go slide after slide and I'm not gonna take any questions from the crowd and I'm just gonna It's almost like they're like I gotta get this over with you know, I mean and that's from fear. There's so much fear and anxiety that goes into that

How do you manage that fear and anxiety? Well, it comes back to preparation you know knowing The preparation is the word of the day guys. I want to put a little Marker for every time we say preparation on this podcast if we can just put a little a little counter down somewhere in the bottom and practice is Is like right up there with it right from the hand back at the hand preparation and practice right you can't practice in your head It needs to come out of your mouth even if it's only to yourself

But other people it's great to be able to practice and have it feel it differently it lands differently So practicing out loud and knowing you're closing line is so sometimes you might have a situation where you're all prepared You think you're good. You've got your talking points. You got your strong open area have all the things But then they say so sorry we have to cut 10 minutes off. You're only gonna have you know 10 minutes now instead of 30 You know whatever 20 my heart would drop into my stomach

“You have to know it well enough that you know what you can cut out and then you need to know when to land. What if you get like a let's cut this off here”

And you were done you were done stand-up set yeah cut you off like a dump your bomb your bombing. Yeah, go jump your closing line as we as we sort of wrap up here Guys if you are if you stuck around to this point of the podcast I want to make sure that you know we can find you on social media

So first and foremost where can people find you under daughter Riccardo with two seas on Facebook Instagram and LinkedIn for one final question

If you could go back and do it all again Well, how would you start differently? I think I would have I didn't put it together the public speaking and training are the same thing But I think I would have gotten training sooner Hmm go get your got guys go get yourselves a mentor I don't know how many times I've said it with how many different clients on this podcast, but mentorship training go find an expert in the thing that

It it in the thing that you want to do and learn from them. I don't care if you got to pay for a course I know there's a weird you know dichotomy with course sellers and all that sort of stuff nowadays, but go and find mentorship It's super super important make sure that you guys go out and check out Donna's episode

So make sure you guys stay tuned for that to get a more in-depth look at her story where she comes from her who what where went and why I've been your host Jason Tyler this is another episode of the living your legacy podcast. I will catch you guys in the next one