She Almost Lost Her Life Building Mercy

It was a lot more difficult than it seems.

“Actually, I almost lost my life over the podcast.”

Because before the podcast happened, the 40 hours when I got accepted, I was being called stupid. And I was being told that it was a scam. And Shabana Marcar is a purpose-driven humanitarian leader, entrepreneur, and the founder of the Mercy Mission.

Drawing from her passion for service and community impact, she empowers women and underserved communities throughout reach advocacy and initiatives rooted in compassion, faith, and lasting change. We're able to stand tall every day and just be kind

and loving towards yourself and forgiving towards yourself, as well as everyone you meet, the world will change. And the world needs love and kindness and empathy more than everyone. But the difference is not how much money you make. And it's not how many awards you win.

It's just the little things in life that you may do that make a huge impact. And so when you realize your worth and you realize your value, that's remember to give you. [music playing]

It spans the goal. Like a super high school. Internet elders. [music playing] Today Apple is going to reinvent the phone.

It's not over. I'm telling how we're-- The living your legacy podcast for those who live to leave a legacy. [music playing]

[music playing] [music playing] You can live your dream.

Welcome back to another powerful episode of The Women in Power podcast.

For Insight Success, I'm Riga Tears. Today, joining me is quite a unique powerful woman. I'm going to let her introduce herself, but I heard she's called The Mercy Queen. That is quite the name, ma'am. Tell us more about this.

I have a podcast called The Mercy Queen, because I've developed a trifecta model that I'm working on with a lot of heart. The Mercy Queen podcast, Mercy is something that is usually unexpected.

And sometimes it's defined as something that not only is unexpected, but it comes to you when you need it the most. And it also comes to you sometimes if you don't even deserve it. And that's usually kind of the cognitive definition of Mercy. And kindness is something that should be encompassed for everyone

and every human being. So I'm called The Mercy Queen, because I try to encompass self-compassion. I'm very-- and self-awareness as well. It's a dual thing. So The Mercy Queen podcast is all about having a system

where people come together and talk about all venues of Mercy, whether it's Mercy and Depression, Mercy and Greef, Mercy, and self-love.

“And so that's what The Mercy Queen podcast is about.”

But it's part of a trifecta model that I've developed in my business model, as well as the non-profit model that I've had that are merged as a triad that I've developed. Wow, before we get into the triad, as I Dorne might try for us here.

First of all, 10-hour flight, you sprinted.

You're in Miami. Talk about the journey getting here, having this conversation with me. The journey getting here was really, really difficult. It was a lot more difficult than it seems.

Because when I first got accepted to this podcast, it was a huge honor. And my best friend is with me, who's just my-- You know, she's with me, and she's my soul mate. But the journey here was not just about almost missing a fight

and having to run, like, 20 minutes. And like, with in 10 seconds, get on the flight. But it was also a journey where I actually almost left lost my life over the podcast. Because before the podcast happened, the 48 hours

when I got accepted, I was being called stupid. And I was being told that it was a scam. And it really, really hurt me. And so I actually overdosed on June 11th. And I was in the psychode for five days.

Because I kind of lost hope. And it was not encompassing self-compassion for myself, because all the pain that has ever hit me in my life from childhood, from being bullied to the day that I was accepted to the podcast.

I just gave up. And so coming here today and being alive to be here is like a huge honor. OK. Sorry.

I know it's a lot more towards you as about the flight. I told you it was going to happen today. No, I warned Lord. Like, today I'm going to cry. I don't know why.

So thank you for that. That's how you would have done that.

“No, that's what you want, that's what you want.”

No, because I know exactly why you're here. And I'm very thankful for that. Someone that really deserves mercy. Don't let those quite get it. So I found and discovered in my life the higher you rise,

Do you almost miss your flight?

You almost expired on your own account. Boy, have I been there. And yet we're still here in a tiny cramp the room on South Beach having this conversation as if nothing ever happened.

So we deserve to be here. We deserve to be merciful for the trifecta. I'm so curious to learn more about you. We are literally about to walk on stage. And I'm going to sit down with you.

I'll be Barbara Walters. And we're going to get to learn more by your story. I've heard one part of the trifecta.

“What are the other two parts besides making me cry?”

So my father is a huge inspiration in my life and my mom. And they have the fairy tale. They have the notebook story. They have-- it was made into a movie. It was probably the most romantic love story

I've ever witnessed in my life. So I was raised by a very soft loving kind for giving father. And the reason I actually like being Muslim is because of the way he raised me. It's because he raised me to be very not in judgmental.

And he taught me faith through love. There was nothing but love and forgiveness that he taught me. And so he was actually an orphan of 10 brothers and sisters. And he actually was his mom at the time in the '50s, didn't work in India.

They didn't get to work. So when she had the 10 kids, there was no option to feed them, except to rely on other family members. And so he used to have literally like one plate of rice for three days for 10 kids.

And that's how he grew up. And so with my mom and my dad just growing up, like they knew what hunger was. And my mom eventually came to America. And it's a pretty long love story.

But long story short, the model itself is based on a restaurant based called Mercy Mediterranean. And the logo from Mercy Mediterranean is spreading mercy with everybody. So I also have a non-profit model

aligned to this trifecta model called Miracles from Mercy, which is already established. You could look at miraclesfromerski.com. So the goal one day is to globalize and to health. And I also have Luna's Halal Bakadia.

So I have two models. So why do you just drop that?

So the goal is basically one day to globalize Mercy

and Luna's all over the world. But 2.5% will automatically go to charities. So if you're going through my drive-thru one day, you'll be like, welcome to Mercy Mediterranean where we believe in spreading mercy with everybody.

And on that month, it'll be helping widows or helping orphans or helping with trafficking. And so 2.5% will automatically go into the non-profit model. And then basically, we're spreading Mercy through food. Because if you think about it, like right,

hunger is an issue, but the reason the podcast is so important is because how do we-- you don't have to celebrate something, right? I might be Muslim, you might be Hindu. You may not celebrate something,

but you have to respect it, absolutely.

“And you have to learn to cultivate respect for difference.”

And so when you come to my restaurant, the feel is come as you are, be who you are, feel love.

And then we don't do soda, so we do basically healthy food

option drinks, or we do sparkling water. So if we were to go in the future, 10 years forward, imagine having a healthy food industry, where you're getting a salmon salad, or chicken salad. And at the same time, you know what's going to charity.

Well, have you been to Miami before? I actually have gone to Florida during hurricane season. So that was like many years ago. Fantastic time. Yes.

And we actually went to the Disney world, but I happened to Florida before. But I don't believe that. Well, I'm glad you're here. Your energy is obviously resonating through our walls.

Well, how what people learn? Well, actually, what will I learn interviewing you for your women in power episode that we're about to do in a couple of moments?

“I believe that the biggest thing to learn”

is that kindness is a virtue that everyone needs. And I think that one thing that I've learned in my journey in the past two years is that like, how do I say this properly? Money does not define your success, right? And power is not executed by the amount of status that you have.

And personal belongings do not attribute your happiness, right? So when you really look at that and you look at the legacy that you want to leave behind in the world, it's really how many people and how many hearts you touched, and how kind you were, and how empathetic you were,

and how, but in also inviting that for yourself. And that's probably the hardest lesson that I've learned when I've been knocked down is to have love for myself, compassion for myself, but a mental awareness that also allows you to change and grow and develop.

Because if you're able to stand tall every day and just be kind and loving towards yourself and forgiving towards yourself, as well as everyone you meet, the world will change, and the world needs love and kindness and empathy more than ever right now.

I completely agree, you're speaking to someone who has generational grime, as I like to put it. I'm half Cuban and the other half is in the crowd, and my culture is about suffering and suffering and more suffering

we talk down to each other.

We're very critical about, and I'm Latino as a male,

like I'm a stereotype. So I'm always sort of constantly fighting those stereotypes internally. So what do you tell to folks like myself that are not, that don't understand?

What graces, that what is merciful to yourself, to not to be so hard to yourself, to give yourself a pet on back? What do you tell folks like me? Where do we start?

Is lighting a candle journaling? - No, I think part of self compassion is just not only being aware, but just being very, very forgiving.

“I think like, when I look at for example,”

my best friend, who's here, she had four children, and she's gonna probably not be too happy about me talking about her, but she had four children, and she was widowed at the age of 23.

And she had a choice to go back to Afghanistan, or she had the choice to stay in this country, and she's kinda like, don't talk about me, but the point being is that she stood strong, and she didn't have a cheerleader, right?

She didn't have someone who didn't hear on at that time. She had to make a tough decision to stand on her own. And so when you are faced with the unknown, or what's scary, or just in life, when things get hard, mentally breathing through your suffering,

because if you breathe through it, and you get through the next moment, and the next moment, but while breathing through it, talk kindly to yourself.

There, even if other people aren't being kind, remind yourself how kind and self-aware you should be into that kindness, because if you breathe into kindness for yourself, then you're able to offer it to others,

and you're able to see from the lens of love. - The lens of love, huh? What are some exercises someone can practice

“as is just saying good morning to a random stranger?”

- So I really like, I really, I think prayer, and I think something that really seems very simple, but it's something that really helps is I think perfume, or if you like sense, sensory things are very, very important. I did a podcast with someone in Emily Wyandh,

and she has a book that she created, I'm going blank right now, but-- - Have it to me all the time. - I'm sorry. I'm happy by design, really, and she talks about how

the sensory things can really help a person heal. So for me, when I'm stressed, I will bathe in perfume, and I didn't bring perfume with me, so I'm a little bit lost, but I have a little bit of a dior that I brought with me, I'm going to spray for the next.

But I mean, not using sensory things that are negative. I mean, you could use something like an addiction, like food or alcohol that can spiral to the negative, or you could use candles, or you could use walking, or breathing, or exercising,

or when I'm really upset, I'll even treat myself to sushi, like a nice, you know, sushi meal, so the point being is-- - No, no, no, no, no, no. - But the thing I'm trying to say is that, like, you're off-- Sometimes you may dory that for that friend who's sick,

or you might use me nice for someone else, but what about yourself? Your worth that kindness too, your worth, your worth, that shopping spree, your worth. People don't realize that they're worth,

they're human worth and they're value, and if you start realizing how important every human being is, then hopefully some of the things that are happening in the world that are causing so much disingen, what it be erased, and I really believe that my model,

if people will support it, and watch the podcast, and support what I'm trying to do. I mean, I'm inspired by many. So I just hope that people will support what I'm trying to do. I apologize for talking, but you sat here

and just told me that you almost expired. With so much love and how does one go that dark? - I think I won that dark, because I think when you're offering love, and you're offering love,

and you're always trying to forgive,

and you're always trying to be kind. It wasn't for me, like, it wasn't for me, like, I was bothered by business debt, or it was more like everything from childhood that came into fruition.

I also recently lost my dad in December, and I didn't even grieve. I think I would just so busy working to pay off debts. I was working 14 hour shifts to make a comeback with Mercy Mediterranean,

'cause I'm in a little bit of a loss right now. And so I just numb myself to feel, which is not a good idea. Never numb yourself to feel.

“If you need to cry, cry, as totally okay.”

I think it's very powerful. And I think even crying in public, I mean, I think we're told that, okay, when you're at work, but there's times even when I might work, that I've had patients hugged me,

and make me feel good and I'm having a bad day.

So we always feel like we have to put on a facade

as human beings. So we have to pretend we're okay, but the greatest answer that I could give you, it's okay not to be okay. And the moment of darkness just hit,

where I just had like a moment of, maybe temporary insanity where I was just mad. And I was just like, I don't wanna do this anymore.

like, hey God, is it gonna be like the dark side?

“It's gonna win or it's God gonna keep me alive.”

And I woke up like I was drunk. Like my friend found me and she thought, "Did you drink alcohol?

"Good luck, never at alcohol."

And she was like, "Charge, you drunk." And then five days later, I was out of the hospital, but I've been in being honest with that. When I was there, it was a beautiful experience because I met beautiful people in the hospital.

And I started to realize, even with mental health, that some of the people that are hurting, they're not crazy. They're just inflicted with pain. And they don't know what to do with their pain.

They don't know where to place the pain. So it's like, people are just human. I think we like to label people. She must be Muslim, so she doesn't speak English. She's Latino, like, you know.

And people just trademark people to what they think they should be, how they should be. And people are so much more, so. - There's so much more than just the binary offer on.

It's so much more than that. - But to answer the question and short, like, I think with the dark side, I just think I had a moment of just frustration. I didn't handle it.

I don't think I used the skills that I know at that moment 'cause I was just so tired.

“And I think that's the kind of hope that I want to light”

is don't be so tired that you give up. Make it to the next moment. And now that I know I did that, I have my life lines in support. I have things that I realize

that if I ever get that dark again, I better make some phone calls. I'll just show up at someone's door at two in the morning. And be like, hi, I'm here, I need help. Because we have so much value.

Everyone does. Well, this conversation alone is adding so much value to my moment as you just called it. I'm hoping I'm adding value to you as well. I can tell you right now you're back on the path.

Like there's no coincidence that it took you 10 hours to get here in the middle. Like, and we're having this conversation. So I'm very happy to be a part of your journey as you're a part of my at this very moment.

So thank you for that, for that mercy. Is there anything else that you'd like to speak about, a plug on the podcast before we cut and then move on to your full on interview? - I just want to say a couple more things.

- Sure. - The day that I got out of the hospital, there was a woman who was a refugee. She has a two-year-old son and I've been applying to a hospital job for her for a long time.

Just speak much English. And this is just a kind of trademark sometimes, the critic. So she got called. The day I got out of the hospital, she got called for a video interview.

That I had to help her with that night in the next day. And so I realized that I expired.

She would never have been able to do the interview.

Another thing that happened is a friend of mine who's struggling called me. And he said that she bonded like the bags of rice that you gave me will last me for a year. And another thing that actually happened was that sometimes

I'm kind of as a woman, which is a struggle as a woman. I'm told that I may not care for my family. I may not care for my children because I'm trying to start a business. It's very unconventional from was the woman

to be doing what I'm doing. And I'm not entirely, but in some ways it can be. And I'm always kind of attacked. And people say that you have children why not just focus on your kids.

You already had a good job. Why did you take this risk? And for me, it's like, I have a beautiful seven year old

“in a 17 year old, but I think a lot about the seven year”

is in the five year olds that don't have food, that don't have shelter. So my passion comes from spreading love and empathy through this model. And the reason I share this is because if you have someone

telling you that you're not a good mom, the day that I also came back the next day I had to take my son to soccer practice. And he did not know that there was a bathroom on site. And he was like, Mom, yeah, I can't go to the bathroom.

I don't know that there's a bathroom there. And I said, maybe there's of course there's a bathroom at the soccer field. And so when you start devaluing and hitting, listening to the critics, the outer critics

that are hating on you, you lessen your own value. And when I came back, these three things happened within 72 hours. And I realized that how do I not been here today to speak with you? Had I not made it?

Like the difference is not how much money you make. And it's not how many awards you win. It's just the little things in life that you may do that make a huge impact. And so when you realize your worth

and you realize your value, that's where mercy begins.

Well, I'm eager to conclude this episode of another powerful

episode of the Women in Power Podcast. I'm eager, clearly, to begin your episode. Yeah, I'm going to leave it there. I'm going to let the room settle. Clearly, I need a moment.

Again, for Women in Power Podcast within Site Success, I am Rigotiers.