Ep 601 - Gen Z White Boy (feat. Devan Costa & Conner McNutt)

- First time now. - All right.

- So now, hey, we're here.

(laughing) - Oh, no. - Conorict nut, Depp and Costa.

“We just had some secret talk that we used to.”

- Some secret talk. - Talk, secret talk. - So look bad now 'cause then the thing we're talking about, okay, we didn't have that kind of secret talk 'cause we're about to talk about the bathes.

- Right, yeah. - It wasn't, it wasn't, oh, you look. I can assure you it wasn't out that. That was not that secret talk. - But, no.

- Yeah. - You know what's talking about with Tourette? - Yeah, yeah. - Of course, of course. - Because we technically did have-- - We were talking about it.

- Yeah, we also started three times in a row. - Yeah, let's mix things up. (laughing) - 100%. - The bathroom thing is weird.

- It's on the up and up. - You're gonna be assured of that, which camera, you're gonna be assured of that. - Guys, thanks for coming. - Of course, we know we're a pretty big get.

- Yeah. - Anything else?

- You like it we're here.

- I'll take it. - I am genuinely lucky you're here. - Thank you. - Yeah, thank you. - Thank you for having us here.

- Me too, man. - God dang. - No.

“- With all the full melodies out of the way.”

- We're talking bass. - Bass is talking bass. - It was a crazy situation because I thought, I thought sinners was overrated, but I think that guy went to the bar.

(laughing) - And then I had the check out the Tourette's guys. Movie, if you say it's 12 years of slave. - No. (laughing)

- That's the Tourette. - What a crazy fucking movie. - It's called "I swear." - What is it? - "I swear."

- What is it, was it the director, writer? - No, no, he just, it's based on him. - I know actor, really good actor, plays him in it, and it's very good. I watched it right after the interview.

- Oh, he worked it out. - He worked it out. - Guys, that's a crazy marketing. - It was, that's the guy. - Yeah, I felt like it was intentional.

- Yeah, I totally. - I totally watched the movie. - Also, they apparently missed the Oscar, like, caught off by like a week or two. So this movie's gonna be in circulation

of like the next year. - Yeah. - Like, it'll probably get nominated next year for the Oscars. - Yeah.

“- So like, we'll hear about the Tourette's guy”

for the next year. - Unless he gets killed by him. - Why was he at the bath? - He's, though. - Tourette's guy.

- He's a British guy. He's actually kind of famous in English. - Okay, John David. - He's a white boy. - He's a white boy, yeah.

- He's a white boy. - Yeah, he's a white boy. - Yeah, he's a white boy.

- He's never said it to Idriselva,

which is interesting. (laughs) - I don't know, dude. Like, Idrisel, Michael B. Jordan is Jack. - Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - He said it to Delroy Lendo too, who is like an older black dude and probably really hurt it.

- Yeah. - They're acted at him. - Okay, so this has been, this has been kind of the, well first of all, I'm curious, was his movie being nominated,

or he was just in a crazy way. - Yeah, the actor that played him. - The guy in place in one. - But was he played by a black man? - No, no, no, what are you talking about?

(laughing) - It's bad for black. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no - He's like a crown jewel of London.

Everyone loves this guy. There's like a documentary series about the guy. And then they made a movie out of it. So he's like, I mean, he called the queen a hunt to her face. - Yeah, he's one of his best friends died.

And when the cops came, he goes, I killed him. I killed him. - Yeah, you say the thing that's one of them. - Okay, okay, okay, okay. - Thanks for clearing up the fact

this was in the British beat. I the whole time was going to be. - The British beat, I love that you thought that. - That was great. - That's beautiful, actually.

- You got a beautiful mind. - That's great. (laughing) - You're like, how cool of London, they have a black award show. - Good for them.

- He's the author of this so funny. - Yeah, so, okay, here and this is the question now, where it's like, 'cause I've read a lot of the comments on it. You do have a lot of black ladies. And even black guys being like, that shit was in him.

- He knows what he said. - He knows what he did. - Yeah, well there was two things. - It was in him. - I'm sure to have edited it,

'cause apparently they did edit out Epstein stuff, but they didn't edit out the end word. - They also added out free palaces. - Yes. - Sorry, that's what it was.

- And he was calling the host of the show like a homo, the entire time, and they edited that out to him. - What? - Not he didn't say homo, he's, you know.

- Yeah, obviously, yeah. - He's got the disease. - You got to do it. - I also have Tourette's when I see him. - It makes you feel bad.

- So if his Tourette's made him go, "Homor!" (laughing) - You know what you're saying. (laughing)

- That's huge. - Yeah, it's funny, the like the inflection is like so harsh. - What if he had like Tourette's, it was like sing song. - You know, true. - You're gay.

- That could be a good idea. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Brawler Tourette's. - Right, it could be a potential therapy if you're getting them

to kind of like sing it out, but that's, yeah. I mean, I personally don't think the man that was like some sort of, you know, showing of like innate evil. And it's also like the question is, is like, what person,

that you say?

- It's just that you've heard before

“that that's the worst thing to call a black person.”

So then you say that, that's literally like the disability. - Yeah, you say the worst thing is you go say to somebody, it goes to the tabo and you can't help it and it like helps you like live. You feel like, I've been watching all these like Tourette's people

talk about it and yeah, it's like, it's, you feel like you're gonna explode unless you don't get it out. And then they also, you know, just go like, you know, they like, you fucking shit, like, you fucking animals, man.

- Yeah, they're happy. (laughing) - Can't do this for, in a shoe, einfach passt, so that it's the same day to deal. - Tamara is.

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auf tamaris.com, perfekt für dich. Und jetzt auch für ihn. - Tamara is. - The guy was podcasting at the bathroom.

- I think honestly, I think Tourette's are now the most

thing, I thought for a while, I was like, it's definitely straight by men, most dangerous people in America or the world. - Yeah. - Tourette's have replaced.

- Tourette's still the most dangerous. It's caused. - It's caused. - I mean, like, Eric Hartman disease. I don't know what to tell you.

- Yes, it's pretty pretty. - Yeah, they're terrorists. They're looking terrorists.

“- And the interests, you're evil terrorists.”

- They didn't apologize technically to black people on Twitter at least, they're very upset by that. - Well, this is a apology. - It was just like blaming disease, you know. - It's planning, 'cause in the movie,

there's an entire scene where the lady that takes him in is like, you don't need to keep apologizing for something you can't help. - A black lady? - Yeah, it was, it would be Goldberg.

- It's like, it's not on the moon. - It was Moneeek in the movie, actually. - In the movie, in the guy, there was an actor who played him. - Yes, like, yes. - Who probably had the time of his fucking life.

- Imagine getting that role. - Just saying it all over. - Really, like, hey, man, you pay like a hundred thousand dollars. You guys see the end word of bunch. You're like, oh, no.

- Yeah, you gotta yell at her. - Oh fuck, that's terrible. - He doesn't yell the end word in the movie. - No, probably not. - But now, okay, here's another thing, man.

There's a scene in the movie where he's like painting his new flat, like his apartment with his friend. And it's like green paint, but it looks dark green. And he's like puts it on his face as a tick. And then he like puts it on his friend's face.

And they start doing it. And that clip is surfaced on Twitter and black people are like, so there's a black face scene in this movie, too. - But it's, oh, it's a dark face. - It's like a dark green and it has nothing to do with racism.

He's just being like wacky and painting his friend's face. And they're like, oh, you know, but now that's like an evil. - Yeah, this is like a, like this is a thought-out thing

“and the movie is this like secret racist.”

- There is like a weird like cognitive dissonance with like, I don't know, black people in Twitter. It's like they would like go to like a kids birthday party to guy that gets painted like a draft. - And they go for sure.

- You do black face. - Yeah. - What's going on here?

- No, it's, well, it came, the problem is though,

if you're somebody who's like, you know, really prides yourself on being like socially aware and empathetic, you came to a very nasty crossroads who's side of my own. - Yeah.

- It's tough or the disabled. - It's tough because also he, there was apparently like a mic and he just said, like, why was there a big mic in front of, the bath does wanted this to happen.

- That was actually not a good idea. So they had it, they had the guy, it was just all night. - People think he is in the room. - Oh my god, okay.

(laughing) - The dare dare dare dare dare. - No, there's this idea that he was front and center, you know, like wearing like with a swastika tattoo on his head. - It's like screaming the words things of a time.

He knows he was like 40 rows back apparently and but somehow like kind of miced. And they cut everything else but this part. - Yeah. - That's weird.

- Wait, they cut, they cut, they missed every, oh, they, they cut hit, somebody on station free Palestine, they cut that. - Maybe there were kind of, there were a couple guys where they were like,

well he was, you were saying he was, you know I'm like gay stuff to the whole thing. - To the, the host Allen Cummings kept like, like saying like just so everyone knows, there's a, there's a guy here that can,

- And he'd be like, - Can't stop saying it. - By the way, I mentioned being gay and your last name is Cummings. That's so fun.

- You do that. - That's incredible. (laughing) - And that's, that's driving the threats guy crazy. That just, he's a fuckin' brilliant man.

(laughing) - He's my favorite. - No, but it's also just created a work 'cause he's like a very like people really, he's an earnest figure in England.

People really, really love it. - And they like that he said fuck the queen or tell it all the time. - Yeah, it's 'cause it's worth it. - They forget it, they forget it.

- The queen forgave it, you know. Like it's, it's a bigger fish to fry right now, one of her sons is running wild. - She's also dead. (laughing)

- Queen is dead. - Who the fuck's running England right now? - I wonder if they're having guys scream out and they're gonna run. (laughing)

- So it's damn pedophile.

- They're just, I don't know.

- That guy fucking knew it. I fuck that guy. That guy, that guy actually did it. - That is the core of that man. - He's a sick man.

- He's a sick man. - He's a sick man. - 'Cause life should be ruined more that it has been his entire life.

“- So you got the same page as Jamie Foxx?”

- Jamie Foxx. - I was like, it's the fucking community. He knew what he said. - Me like, Jamie Foxx is like, "Telle, we had already capred.

"Just fucking say it all the way." - Why is it? - It was Jamie. - You're having to get the end work. - So it's not your weird flex to be like,

"Yeah motherfucker, if like, I'm trying to think. "I feel like you're a guy with like, "down syndrome, tripped me on accident." And I turned around. I was like, "Mother, fuck you."

- Yeah, you know what you did. - I know. - Yeah, you're fucking know what you did. - It's like one in evil, like, reptilian, like, like, grand mother of yours or like,

I guess like, give somebody's mom. They start kind of like, "Oh, they have a, they have a forgetful now." But they say like evil things in between. - Yeah, yeah.

- And you're like, "I know what you're fucking, "like fucking livi a soprano or something." - Yeah. - Where you just, like, "I can't tell." People have said you have a, you know, a problem now,

so I, but I still kind of think you're fucking with me. - It's also, it's just so unbelievable. If he has a good track record, they're like, "Oh, we kind of love this guy." And then he just gets the bath.

'Cause it goes, finally. (laughs)

- Evil, darkful. - The long con, it paid off. - Yeah. - I've been faking Tourette's for years. - Yeah.

- Yeah, I've been faking Tourette's for years. - Yeah, I've been faking Tourette's for years. - Yeah, I've been faking Tourette's for years. (laughs) - It's such an insane thing to not immediately be like,

"Yeah, okay, that guy." But I think what happened was it, it fell to neatly with, who was yellow, a little bit fart lady? - Yeah, fart lady.

- Fart lady. - Fart lady. - She was like, "Yeah, I had no idea." - I think that was like a stun grenade for blind people, or they were kind of like,

"Wait, what the fuck was that?" - Yeah, they're like, stop being so silly about it. We don't know how to get into it here about that. - No, yeah, it was like, it was just kind of like, 'cause that was clearly, you know, slip up.

Although my brother was like, "There's no, my brother is completely against HTTP lady."

He's like, "There's no way."

That was a slip up. - Oh, he know, do I think his speech just has all the time. - Yes, his staff. - She steps her toe, it's just fart and work. - Yeah, that's just in her repertoire.

- But she was saying fart knocker is what she usually says. And it just, she musta hit her toe. - Yeah, we've all been there. - I think it should have, you know. - I can choose knocker in the end word all the time.

- My God, that man is got great end words. - Also, yeah.

“- Here's the thing, it's like, how bad did you hit your toe?”

- Broken toe? - Mm-hmm. - It's like, - What I didn't understand about that clip was why did she go, like, can we cut that and some guy was like,

"No." (laughing) - It's not like, absolutely not, I hate it. - We can go, yeah. - We can go, yeah.

- No, someone clearly just took that and released it. - Yes, yeah. - I think they're like live streaming or something like that. I think they're like Instagram line.

- Where are they? - I had to bet 'cause why couldn't you cut that out? - That HGTV getting into life. - I was gonna go like, I think someone took the card and was like sick. - Yeah.

- Really, we were just talking about these Gen Z ears. - Yeah, yeah. - And there's that shit dude. - Yeah, that's the Nile. - They do, they're Nile's. - They're Nile's. - I think they are, I think they are kind of Nile's.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - I don't know, a lot of them are like big time grindheads though. So, what's a grindhead? - Like grind, like grind, like grind. - I'm like grind, yeah, right? - Oh, yeah, yeah. - We'll get to the next level.

- Yeah, and they don't care if they die. I mean, they're all fucking into the micro fracturing on their faces doing math and shit. - Well, Austin is also like the capital of the most boring 24-year-old of all time.

Like all those like, get ready with me. Here's my days, it's 24-year-old living in Austin. And I'm like, dude, kill yourself. This is the worst life I've ever seen. - I've talked to my younger cousin about that.

And he was like, I was like, is this what you and your friends do? And he was like, no, no, it was, it's like not to see that. It is like a mind-fuck, 'cause I'm gonna try and figure out what Gen Z does or who they are. But 'cause all the biggest people are like streaming all the time.

But I don't think that's a fair reflection of who they are. - I'm telling you, I think they're completely checked out of like online stuff. - Yeah. - I don't think that, I was just talking about like the rage bait

of how like, it's like if you get mad about something online, I think they view you as like a boomer fucking run. - Yes. - We're like, almost if you get mad at all, it's kind of embarrassing.

- What was the sentiment we just said? - If you don't say the end would you're gay? (laughing) - Yeah, we don't wish that was worth talking. (laughing)

- No, 'cause they'll just rip the end. - It's like, you know, all in the internet. And again, maybe there's a streamer's verse other guys, but it does seem like young white dudes can just rip the end word on the internet.

- I mean, ridiculous, constantly ripping the internet. - Well, they can't stop when it is. - Yeah. - And you can't tell me that's not trickling down completely. - It's like an Xbox live economy.

(laughing) - It's just, that's like now the culture. - No, it's like saying anything.

“- So that's what I think, I think it's like,”

you know, I'm, you know, I didn't predict this happening, but I think I think white people are taking the word. (laughing) I think they want me to put the power back into it. - Yeah, absolutely.

(laughing) - It's amazing. - It's got to be crazy 'cause like, you know, I know black dudes that go, it's Xbox live and like, yeah, people at the end word, blah, blah, blah, blah.

to see like, all these young white kids using it and like, as far as the internet goes, it's cool in the sense that it's working. - Yeah. - Yeah.

- I mean, we're being clearly honest. The end word was gentrified by blind people. (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah.

- We're taking it back, all right. - It's like, but you got, you got no. - I'm not exactly, you get no. - I'm not taking it back. - I feel gay, like, as you said,

when I say the word, like I'm like retelling something, I feel like a teenager's gonna call me like a homo or something. Like some pop out of a bushbell, you fucking gay. - Let's know what I was saying earlier, like I think if you're like 22

and you don't say the M or your white, you're kind of, it's like kind of gay. - Yeah. - Yeah, which is funny, I mean, do, they all crazy, yeah. - Things, I mean, well, they're all that's sad.

- No one can punch 'em in their room. - That's true. - Yeah. - But if you know what happened?

“I think it started, there's a lot of white rappers”

that started just like rip in it. You know, Jinlee, who's a Dallas rapper, he's a giant red-headed man. - Okay. - With long curls.

- Yeah, I've seen this guy, yeah, and he's good. - He was ripping the end where he did jail now. - Oh, okay, he did jail. - Yeah, I mean, I've seen him like also like post videos, like justifying, saying it.

- Just, and then like, he'll go and he'll fight like black teenagers in the mall. So he's his, yeah. - Okay, so he's about that life. - Completely.

- He really hates them. - No, he loves them. - Let me say totally. - Go to the ball of fight, I think he just roasts the ones he loves.

- Yeah. - But no, he'll have people, like if you have a problem, come fight me. - Right. - He's been in like, you know, near a smoothie.

- But he's fat as shit. - He's fucking, he's like six foot, three's huge. - Ugly as hell. - Oh, hey man, he lives in Dallas. - He can't get me back.

- Come fight me dude. - Let's go to the mall. - Bro, he's doing it. - I love you, I love you. - He's dead, yeah, he's gonna get out of jail.

He's gonna fight. - And he might not, he might just be a crazy ass, why both. - He probably is, dude. - But he's, he sounds like big ex-the-plug, right?

- Kind of. - Yeah, kind of, fat. - I guess, I don't know.

“- I think you just sounds fat. (laughing)”

- I've never heard of, I've never heard big ex-the-plug,

but I'm like, you've probably fat. - Oh, you'd love it. - Is big ex-the-plug white, too? - No, no. - But there's that, I think that's, you know,

the internet is like, 'cause like, you're right, you can safely say it on in the internet, and like, you know, if you live around all white peoples, like, no one's gonna beat you up or like for you. - Yeah.

- Maybe like, you know, you're lesbian, cousin, like. - They're also saying it with the A, right? - Yes. - So yeah, there's like, people have a think, like, like, like, when Nick Fuente says it,

it's, it's in a way of like, I think he'd have a bigger problem who's saying with the hard R, like, every time, you know. - I think so. He also claims that Kanye gave him the best.

- And yeah, he's just saying it to the judge. - Which? (laughing) - That's a justification. - Yeah.

- Like, no, the most crazy man of all time, said I'd say it's, he's getting a shit together though. - Yeah. - Kanye, Kanye, Kanye, Kanye, Kanye. - Yeah.

- Big man who apologized to all the world's Jews. - It does. - It does. - Yeah.

- Now, I've never been in that position.

- Matt, I do it every single morning. (laughing) - Wake up and I apologize to all the world's Jews. - Just get on Twitter. - Sorry, Jews.

- That'd be nice to sit in with just, like,

“in-spot content every, like, what's good morning Jews?”

Let's get it. - Yeah. - Well, like, pause, really pause and stuff. Like, good morning Jews. - That's like, yeah.

- That's, like, the real life equivalent, like, putting more shields in your chest and, like, holiday duty. (laughing) - You see that every morning, like,

I'm good on the fucking safe again. (laughing) - Oh, that poor guy. - Let's get it, J-Gang, who's called J-Gang. - J-Gang. - J-Gang.

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Meet your match on zipper recruiter. I help Connie comes back, I don't know me. I just come back, bully's coming out apparently. You have a nice ability to say, yeah, I love bully. bully was the album he put out that had some AI songs on it,

but he put it out at the time when he was going completely insane. She didn't know what was real, she was like, right, right. Some of the songs are like, kind of fake. And the funniest thing is that it's a really calm, like, thought. Like, it's like nothing's created.

It's like nothing's crazy on the album. Really lovely, nice, and then you look at his, you know, he's online saying, like, kill them all. And you're like, this is so nice to listen to. What if this is insane?

Yeah, dude, just suck it. Because there's this musician I like who John Martin used, like this guy, like a British folk singer from the '70s.

And he would like, he was, you know, one of the first people

who was doing the Looper Pettel. So he would do these like beautiful ambient soundscapes. And then I learned he had been like beating his wife the whole time. That's how I know. So he would like have a vicious altercation with his wife,

beat her, and then go like out in like the other room and just rip like a beautiful kind of, like, because it helps you possess. So, you know, the, the, yeah, like the hating yourself for doing bad things, like helps the artist.

- Maybe 140,000. - Maybe hating your wife is the key to success. - Hating, hating, hating. - We're both.

“- Yeah, yeah, you know, come kind of both.”

- John Lennon used to fucking, like beat. - Yeah, beat women. - He wrote a song about it. - Yeah, it was a jealous guy. - Women are the Edward of the world.

- Yeah, that was him trying to help him hardly leave. - That's huge. - He hated his wife so much because he'd be Edward of the world. - I'm gonna go hate my wife and go, I'm trying to buy a house. - That's what it did.

- He works today. - Oh, wait, he was actually being mean.

I didn't know what he was trying to be in the ultimate

of Pennsylvania. - What a dick. - Yeah, that was, that was a wild movie pulled. - Yeah. - Yeah.

- I think women were like, yeah. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? I've been a hard time believing they wouldn't be like, well, no, I think they love that.

- Yeah. - Yeah, I mean women have been fighting for it. There's been that impression Olympics for a while. - It is funny that they have been in terms of like, no sheer numbers.

They've been completely shitted on for the long, like if you go back into like history, when you used to be able to fucking - Yeah. - Razzle on the shit.

- And then all they get is like Hillary Clinton. - Yeah. - Yeah, it sucks. - Yeah, it's destroying. - Really suck.

- Yeah. - It's tragic. - Yeah. - They need to like their own fair cone. - Yeah. - But that's cool.

When women get like two feminists sick, they have some reason they lose their cool. - Unfortunately, they do that and we go, - Yeah, shut up, yeah. - Yeah.

- Like they try to build a time. - They have tried to build a time. - You know what, this is embarrassing of me to admit, but I recently, I don't know why I got this idea where I was like, dude, I think women in like,

you know, heavily Muslim controlled areas are genuinely happier than women in the West, like Sharia Law and stuff. - Looked it up, not the case. - Not at all.

- I was like with crockling. - Yeah, but like what about? He's like, not even dude, it's, they're not. - Yeah. - They're so sad. - I love that like ignorant tape.

- That is funny. - You meet like a person from like a different culture. You're like, oh, it must be peaceful. - I think you're like, oh, they hate people. - Yeah.

- It's actually illegal to be gay, they'll kill you. - I was like, maybe they're like, you know, it's like as much as it sucks not being able to drive or leave your house and having to do all of them. - Or have a clip.

(laughing) - Muslim women are like, the clip is like the appendix, it's not really necessary. - It was a shameful thought, but I was like, maybe there's a certain freedom in that.

Women actually, and then I looked it off, it's like done, and it's also like the reporting of depressions probably so low, too, and it's still. - Right. Are they even allowed to get into that?

“- And that's why they asked them more, like, you know,”

like, instead of being like, are you depressed? Is it probably like, no. So it's like, well, how did you ever feel like tired for days at a time? And they're like, yeah, I don't know.

Do you ever like think about just like sleeping forever? - And then they hid them with all those questions. - Yeah. - When they collect a lot of data, it was like-- - Just coded killing yourself, you know?

- Yeah. - Yeah. - But I was like, our Muslim men happier. - And I don't think so, I don't think so. - They're really scared.

- I don't think so.

- I think if you're like religious, you're just never happy.

- If you're like, fully like, God will hate me if I do anything, you can't be. - But imagine if you don't beat off for one day. - I mean, I kind of lose my mind. - Yeah.

- If you be happy, I don't know, I lately, I've been able to go when I do shows. Every now and again, I'll go to a hotel, sleep there, not beat off and leave in the morning, and I always feel like, feel good.

- Yeah. - I didn't leave and fucking disgusting, towel for that lady to get. (laughing) - That's what they're doing.

- That's what they're doing. - The Muslim guys are just considerate. - The like, the women have to clean up our giz. - You're not joking trading the toilet. - When I'm going to have a hotel.

- The hotel? - Yeah. - I do that at home. - You jerk right into the toilet? - Like, just get it out.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - I do that at home. - You jerk right into the toilet? (laughing)

- A hotel, I like, I just, whatever.

- I'm not bad. - Yeah. - Tree hotel's like shit. - We just turned everything on and ours. - Dude, that's our favorite thing.

- We don't make sure to turn it on. - We don't make sure to turn it on. - We don't make sure to turn it on. - We don't make sure to turn it on. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - You two, you stay on. You're my slave, I own you. - We had you, it's, whoa, sorry. - My bed.

- You got you, you got you, you got you. - Tourettes. (laughing) - I'm at the bath, it's right out of my bed. - So, no, give her laying a hotel room

and think about how many people have came in the bed that you're in. - Yeah.

“- It's that top cover you got to worry about, right?”

That they always tell you about, like,

that's how you get close. - So one on the top, I think about that again. - That's how you fall asleep. (laughing) - Ooh, it's nice.

- Yeah, I, I don't know, I've always, you know, obviously people are doing stuff in there, but like, I got hit with the genuine scale of it. I was like, dude, it's like, every time someone hits one of these beds, yeah, coming.

- Yeah, me and my accent, we like, she liked Amanda to like, leave a hotel in New York one time 'cause there was just like, kind of obvious, Gis, Dan's on the floor. - Oh, yeah.

- I thought they were going to tell a totally different story where she like made you, she made me, I just, I missed all over her, she got the bed wet. - It wasn't, it was a, it was a pandemic. - Dude, dude, come on.

- It is funny, dude, there is too much Gis and this bed and you get a different room, you just gis, you're like, there's not enough Gis on this bed, actually. - You laid out, nothing like crunches, or you don't see like a pile of dust, just fly out.

- Like I got into it. - I kind of missed the days when I was like a kid and like nothing came out. It was easier. You got the whole feeling, the orgasm happens.

- That's the best. - Nothing came out. - Yeah, man.

“- The only downside of that is my uncle will be like,”

what the fuck, man, I thought, (laughing) - Trying to get my friend over here. - Trying to get Bukaki by my nephew. This is unbelievable.

- Yeah, it's really like, I always let down my uncle.

(laughing) - My uncle hates to do this. - When he went to the last minute, I didn't come. - That's so funny. - I remember, I don't see you.

- I've never, I'm joking, I've never been blessed but I went to my, I went to Penn State one time, years and years ago. It was like my uncle was there with his kid, we're all hanging out.

And we go to the bar, I got hammered with my uncle and I always like fuck around with him but like any time there would be like a woman there. I would be like, you know, it's my uncle. I should be like, oh, it's just so like, oh, great.

He's like a handsome guy for his age. He always has been. And every time like I would kind of like hype him up and be like, yeah, he used to must. (laughing)

- What the fuck, man? He was not, I was crushing him. - He was like Penn State has no history of molestation. (laughing) - It's totally true, but I would just be like,

I would just like build him up to a babe and he'd be like, fuckin' nice and I would say it's something terrible when they'd be like, I want the fuck. - I mean, it's kind of the ultimate bit

with your boys. - Yeah. - Yeah, he's a pedophile. - Yeah, I have a friend, Joey, that if we're in public at like a grocery store, I'm checking out.

He goes, just so you know, this guy's a registered second.

(laughing) Like every time. - I mean, doing that to your friends, just in a grocery I mean, like, he's here to be a 13 year old. (laughing)

- He levels it up too, he'll go like, he's a convicted pedophile. (laughing) - He's a violent pedophile. - He's a pedophile.

- How do you play it off? - I just go, he's not sticking out. - I look more like a pedophile, I was guilty. - No, no, no, I'm not, he is, I'm not. - You can't fight it, he's got to laugh it off.

- If I were like, no, oh, and I'm like, kill my son. - I think I could do no reverse, like, oh, you're a pedophile, actually. - You got to hit him with you, wish, but he wishes. - Did you wish I was a pedophile?

(laughing) - He's like, he's so you wish. - In your dreams, oh man, that's a fucking prank to play. - Yeah, he plays a lot of pranks. They're not always fun.

- Heading the, if you have the video, the best one is a video, like, you have guys, the cameras, you surround someone in a Walmart and go, like, oh, you hear the fucking.

“That is, I mean, that's what he's got to do that prank.”

That's got to be so fun. - They do, that's not even like, they don't even pose it as a prank video. They just get people in trouble. There's like, you know, these nihilist Gen Zikids, they just go to Walmart and they'll just like point at somebody

and be like, this guy and he's not just a random person. - Yeah. - That sucks, dude. - No. - The pet of all hunting is crazy.

Part of me, like, I hate to be like, you want to beat up an autistic guy. That's all this is. - Sometimes it is, sometimes I am like, I'm uncomfortable with how I feel like weirdly a little more empathy

for the pet of filed than the hunters. I'm like, let's stop pouring to Masco in as well. - And obviously like, kill that guy. - I'm sure. - I don't want to see it.

- No, man, take him out back. - Yeah, do something. - I mean, you know, it's like, you know, if you're, it's hunting. Man, you're hunting games sometimes you catch a big deer, just a little deer.

- Yeah, but when it turns into like an influencer thing, like you're getting views off of it, you know? - It's gone down a little bit for a while. There was so insane how like acon and like, tea pains.

- Exactly. - All these guys. - You're like celebs to go on those guys. - Dude, he was like part of the circuit.

- It was like you're putting your album, like you're not hunting.

- Yeah, it's like tied to all the sign is like shaving Appstein's head. - Part of Masco in his face. - Those were so weird though, it's like,

“I mean, 'cause those guys should be hunted for real, right?”

So it's like, there's a pet of file who is in his head. And he's like, dude, I'm bad to get some little boy pussy. And then Acon shows up, he goes, "This is the best day of my life." - Yeah.

(laughing) - Holy shit, Acon's gonna serenade me fucking a boy. And then he's like, "Oh, it's the worst day of my life actually." - Yeah, Acon's here. - Get me.

- He's like, "Play locked up." - You sure? - Can you see locked up? - Yeah, he, it sucks when they're clearly, you're like, "Oh, this person is like,

either severely autistic or like, has something like, "Oh, like, I'll do it right now." - It kind of always are. - Definitely stop the guy from molesting. - Yeah.

- Like, it's like, I don't know, that should be, you gotta get a mask, just kill 'em. - Sonic, bro. - You just kill 'em. - You think so?

- Yeah. - Yeah. - There's a comic, I think, I mean, why not kill those people. - Yeah, you think so. - Petafiles?

- Yeah, I mean, all for sure. But it's like, if you have severe developmental delays and all that stuff and then like, you get caught being a pet of file, people like beat them up and like,

"All right, dude, definitely." - Yeah, yeah. - It's a disability. - Well, it's kind of the best thing.

“- It's gonna be a pet of the baptize as you know.”

- That shit was in you, I know. Like the fuck is in your soul. - Yeah, you see the pet of file fight back and they're kind of good, they got hands a little bit. There's a couple of videos where like,

beat up the pet of file and then I thought it was like, "Fucking square up right now." And they almost lose a fight to the pet of file. - Right. - Dude, could you imagine, getting your shit rock

by a pet of file? - Off that a file. - Whole expendable pet of file. - Yeah. - God damn.

- It's so low in pet of file. - It's definitely not his first roadie. - Rambo first kid. (laughing) - It's not his first roadie.

- He's trained. - He's probably caught him slipping back. - Yeah, totally. - Never again. - Has someone for real almost lost

to the pet of file on this? - Yeah. - Yeah, in like a convenient store, like a liquor store. - Walmart should have like a boxing ring for if someone finds a pet of file.

- They should. - Yeah, absolutely. - Like Disney jail or something. (laughing) - Sweet old black guy.

- Come on, put it on the gloves. You're gonna send us like men and then you get in there and fucking-- - Also at this point-- - God damn.

- You have to be as a pet of file. It's like, if a kid's asking you to meet a fucking gas station, it's a trap. Are you not seeing these videos?

- Come on, I mean your dick's never led you

to a strange place. - No. Never once. Not a gas station. I mean, like all the videos are

ready to gas station or Walmart. So if I was a pet of file, I'd be on my piece and cues being like, I've seen the videos. - Yeah.

- You mean? - Right. - I'm not meeting on a Walmart. That's an obvious trap. - Let ask you.

- I don't want to go that now. It's not the thing about it. You know, like, the bar lets out at 2 a.m. That's kind of like, that's 3 p.m. is the pet of files 2 a.m.

- True. - You don't need to be like a teacher, pet of files. You're like, fuck, it's supposed to be a clock. And you're like, still, like, what are you-- [LAUGHTER]

- Yeah, just go, now I'm happy this year. - Well, I won't keep the party going, if you want. - Yeah. - You guys won't be a robotics class? - But what I wanted to tell you,

you didn't have the most of the studio. The master by Tag Laptopukia soft, behind the internet. It's like, master's real-time. - Ah, he can tell you that he's back.

- Yeah, you're my master's, huh? But you don't have the same idea. - Exactly. This is where you're supposed to be. Make the game just like this.

And when you work, you're like, "Catching." - That's good? - Safe. Like, this is what you're doing. - Hold it, then, get back to work.

- Now, it's almost impossible. - Well, that's the thing that we're kind of okay with is the women pet of files. Like, it's been like a revolution going on lately, where it's like every week, there's a decently attractive teacher

that, like, fuck, like, a 15, six years. - Has it been happening, so? - Yeah. - Happened like a week ago, yeah. - And she was hot.

- Happened all the time. - Yeah, well, now, they're reading too much during erotica. - Yeah. - That's why they're fucking becoming.

- And it's, that's like, many TV shows about it. And it's like, hot, the show's hot. - Yeah, it's. - Well, the FX show called, like, the teacher, or something like that, with a Rooney Marrow or whatever.

- There was a new book that just came out about. It's from, like, fuck, what does it call? I think it's like, shit, net, McCurdy.

“- Yeah, I think she was a, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - She's a, a Disney Harrow, right?”

- Half his age, it's about, like, a 17 year old, seducing her teacher. I read the whole book. (laughs) - Well, I was going to have her on. - I'm on my third reread, actually. I can't get enough of this book. (laughs)

- I was going to have her all because I'm like, "Man, that's kind of wild." - Yeah. - 'Cause you wrote the book. It was a senior, 'cause you could have been 18, and I sure. You know, then he would have been, but it's just, like, you know,

so it's kind of curious, but I read it, and it was, uh, it was, like, kind of, I mean, it was, it was, like, really fucked up. I can't spell it. If you guys want to hear the ending, I would go ahead with it, yeah. - But it's like, so, the story is, there's this chick.

As you 17, it's like, white trash, her mom's,

they're kind of like, never there.

Her mom's always trying to find the dude that's going to save her. - Hot. - Yes, I'm sorry. It's already hot as hell, dude. White trash is so hot, for some reason.

I don't know what it is. So, you know, and then she has this teacher, the creative writing teacher who, like, loves her writing

And then she just becomes a 17 year old obsessed

“with, like, how he's just, like, he has, like, a, you know,”

a bellies, a receding hairline. And how she's, like, I want to make this guy feel good. And, like, I'm going to show this guy how to, like, you know, like, oh, like a pity, like, I want to give him a great moment. - I just hate this guy.

- Yeah, like, I want this guy. - She's the nicest lady of all time. - I am pretty much, yeah. (laughing) And then, uh, so she just, like, sees this guy,

and he gives her, like, you know, some positive attention, like, I like you're writing, and I just, it's somehow just, like, trigger something in her, where she's, like, I am going to base, this guy will be mine. And she, like, seduces him, and he cares out in a fair

of this lady, and this girl, and eventually leaves his family for her, and then she just, like, they're about to go on a flight together, and she's like, "This guy sucks, and this leaves." That's so cool.

- That's the end. - That's so cool, boy. - All right, me. - After, but they have, like, there's, like, a bunch of very gratuitous sex scenes, and it's pretty-- - Oh, okay, God. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that's kind of-- (laughing) - You just described most bleak book 'em all the time. - Thank you, thank God. - But yeah, it was pretty wild, I read it, and I was just kind of, like, fuck, that's, uh,

“it's pretty wild. - Like, what do I take from this?”

- She realizes she, like, you don't need a manager to justify your existence. - Right, right. - So, yeah, I'm not just my femininity. - Yeah, and the mom goes to Romanix, uh, or, yeah, Romanaholix, anonymous.

- Romanaholix. - Like, sexaholix. It's a Romanaholix. - It's just like obsessed with flirting. - Pretty much. - Yeah, there's like a guy that's going to come save you. - Yeah, it's going to be a Romanaholix student.

- Tony, that, the, the Veronica books, aren't even so much about the, like, sex as it is,

like, the two people finally colliding,

like, what are the circumstances leading to that? Is it high-class, low-class? - Well, yeah. - Yeah, because of not who just be, little porn. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It kind of is, like, porn comments, put in a book.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But it's, it's more so about, like, the, um, it's more about the situation around it than, like, just kind of, like, right. - Right. - And then she sucked his dick. It's not that, though, it's like,

they're from two different families. They're not supposed to see each other. He's rich, she's poor. - Romanix, really. - He sees, yeah, pretty much, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, he sees something. - I like touch her and you die.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - That's about it. If you, like, someone touches a girl and a guy's like, oh, fucking kill you. - Oh, yeah. - Right, right, right. So that's, that's, I'm saying, they're getting charged up off of, like, a homicidal. - Do you have that?

- I don't have it at all. I'm not like protective over my wife in that way. - Um, I don't, like, I don't, like, when she gets hit on, I go, cool. - Oh, yeah. - I'll get a little angry. I was in a casino in a guy, he was like, he was in a slot machine,

like, this. And when she walked by, he did one of these. - Any like, we ain't almost on the front of the other fellow. - Well, get her ass in a way. - Yeah. - Like, I was like, what the fuck you did out, I, it'll get me every now and again. - He's like, I mean, no, I'm sorry. - You can cross a line,

but I was at a bar in New York with my wife, and I'm sitting at a bar stool, and she's in between my legs. And I'm like kissing her neck, you know, full-levy W. And this, like, blackly walks up, it looks like quavo from, like, me goes. - Yeah. - And he comes to me, he's like,

"Hey, mama, you got a man or what?" And I was like, I'm literally holding her. - Yeah. - And she, he was like, yeah, this is my husband, maybe how he goes, "I bet," and he walked away. And I was like, "Can you believe that guy?"

And I was like, that's the coolest guy I've ever seen in my entire life. - I would have been a furious. - I was like, that's, the confidence to, like, see what the situation was, like, "You got a man?" - That's fucking crazy. - That shouldn't fucking, it makes me so angry.

- Yeah, I was just shocked, I was like, struck by it. - Dude, I, I've almost, uh-- - I don't put myself in those positions.

- True. - You never with a woman in a family.

- And I'm an in-sell actually. - Yeah, I don't know. So I'm gonna about that, really, you have my ass.

“I was, uh, I don't think it's weird, I think it's a normal thing.”

- No, I, I, I didn't have my ass. - I don't think about, uh, - You're a man cocking me in public. - Yeah, I'm not a man, pretending I don't exist and trying to fuck my life. - Yeah, some reason grinds my ears. - Yeah. - Yeah, you really weird, man.

- That's weird, dude. - You got more like him, dude. - Yeah, more like me, dude. - Dude. - Well, I'll deal, I mean, maybe I should've said that out. I mean, it is, the fact that I'm cortisol spiking like that in public is-- - Oh, yeah. - Now, yeah.

- The cleavage, cortisol spiking. - The cleavage. - These foids are getting to you. - The foids. - I don't know. - No, I, well, the thing is, too, is like, you know, my wife's plaques, so every now and again, like, younger black dudes will like try to--

- What have me and Devin had the worst reactions, then? - Hey, go ahead. - We go-- - What? - (laughing) - With little tech, every now and again, go test me. It's like a thing, or like, to, you know, sure.

And every, I'll, I'll, I'll completely 100% irespas, I got the iron spasmete for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, once he gets going, it's he can't stop it. It's really embarrassing dude. No, I was out here thing with her like coworkers one time and like some like 20-year-old popped off and I like fully was in his face like I fucking killed him. And he was like dude, did you please kill him? He was like so yeah. He's like dude, I'm a virgin. Do you please leave me alone?

I can't do it. You seem so zen. You seem so chill. I'm zenned out, but if I lose it, it's gonna. I like it. Yeah,

flick of it. I'm kind of the same way. I'm pretty, I am pretty chill for the most part. I can kind of chill. I'm like all right. What is this actually effect? Is this a deal? Yeah. Yeah. And every now and again, if I'm in the right mood, you push my buttons. I got to get hammered to have the confidence to just scream at somebody and yeah, I could fight. That would be, yeah, I would be nice. Drinking, I mean, they're like very friendly, but that is the thing. If I'm drunk enough and like someone, it can be like the littlest thing. I'm like,

“yeah, exactly. There's some flip switches. It's kind of scary. All of a sudden, yeah, I think I'm strong,”

but I can handle anything. Fighting words don't exist. I'll say anything to you. And I'm like, what, you, I'll sue you. Yeah, him, I'll sue you. I've yelled that many times. Yeah, him, yeah, he's so nice. I go ahead. I'll sue you. You don't have a legal system. Could you imagine like actually falling through on suing somebody? It makes me laugh thinking about taking it that way. It actually happened to my buddy one time. Really, we were at a bar in,

in Pasadena. And he got like a booth like he paid for a booth for like bottles and all that stuff. And he kept inviting girls over. And they're like, we're like, I like that. I like that. We shot him, you know. And then the girl's like, we're with our guys. We can't come in. He's like, fuck your guys. And the guy's got all pissed. And we like, you know, die down the situation. Like, all right, I want you. Whatever, blah, blah, blah. Me, my friend went to the bathroom. We came back.

He's just getting stomped out the booth by all these guys. No. Like, absolutely fucked up. Like, eggs on his fucking head. It was the getting killed. Was it high ground? Yeah, it was like a table. Like, a secret, like, you know, like a club type of table. But the thing was it up higher than like, yeah, it was like elevator a little bit. He couldn't defend the position. Exactly. He had the high, and he had the high ground. That's crazy. Yeah. But I mean, he has to buy himself literally siege warfare.

We thought we thought we like, you know, killed the situation. It's all good. We come back in the bathroom. He's just getting fucking stomped out completely, bleeding everywhere, bruises all over place. He woke up next morning. He sued the bar for, like, lack of security. Hey, huge settlement.

“That's the thing. He really? Right. I think he got like $150,000 from this. Wow.”

What? It's lost it's rule. Yeah. It's not crazy. I sued postmates. That was amazing. What?

I just, they, they, they band me for stealing food. So I, I, I've sued them. And I won like $24,000. What? Yeah. It was kind of crazy. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm exaggerating a little bit. But like, yeah, they'd like the app band me. And then I, you know, you get like those mesothelia, you just sign like an email like sure on the part of a class action thing. And one day, I just kept getting calls from some law office in Chicago. And I was like, what is this? I kept ignoring it.

And then finally, they got to hold me. And they were like, we think you could go to arbitration. And this, I was like, oh, this is like a real thing. Why am I? I guess I signed something that most people don't. Yeah. So I put myself in a situation where I'm like, yeah, sure. I'll actually, like be a part of this. Why did you get fired again? Oh, you, uh, uh, take it in order and then cancel the order and then eat a meal. I had like, I, you know, I had a genuine reason. Yeah. But it's in

it. No one's working for them. Sure. So I'm like, fuck with my phones. I'm going to, like, you're delivering for them or order. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I did Uber. I would do them all at the same time. And like, and you would, they would have an order. And you would just be like, actually, I'm not going to take this. Yeah. Sometimes, I mean, technically postmates, I didn't steal the food that often. Uber eats all the time. Uber eats constantly. I call, I figured out that they didn't

track your like car or your, or who you were. And it's just some like sad lady and like the Philippines picking up the phone. So I would, at the end of a night, at the end of it, like the end of a long day of delivering food because you get, if you cancel the order, you also get paid for the mileage, too. What? Like, like, well, we're sorry. I would get to the restaurant and you go like, I can't do it. And they're like, oh, it's okay. Your car is broken behind. Just try to get back

out there. But I, so, so at the end of every delivery shift, I would like work, you make like 60 bucks at working like nine hours. It's terrible. No one tips. Yeah. Just delivering the like

celebrities and a tip. I always tip my very strong. Thank you. Thank you. It's appreciated. Did you ever

deliver food? I was a pizza guy for a while. Yeah. See if the empathy. Have the empathy. I tip the fuck out of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why would you? Same. They're risking their life to bring you the food.

“And you see the service charge. I think the service charge gets people being like fuck them.”

I didn't, as a pizza guy, I was the same thing. It would be like, there was a delivery fee. Yeah. The restaurant was nice. Yes. Yes. And I would get my, my, uh, tip. So like, it was like my version of like giving myself a little nice end to like a long day. Yeah. So I would pick up. I'd wait for a huge order. Like a gigantic. I'd like feed my friends. And so I go pick it up. And then I get in my car and drive a little bit away from the restaurant.

And then I'd call and be like, my car broke down. It was kind of fun. I got to like pretend like tax and stuff too. I'm like, I don't know. It's my car. You know, the engine is smoking. It's yeah. I'm on, I'm dead. And they go, oh, it's okay. Just try to get back out there. And then they cancel it.

Like, I'm not kidding. Once a night for like seven months straight. I felt bad initially.

The first time I ever did it. And then I found that that like the restaurant, they still get paid.

Like, it comes out of the, like, Uber. Yeah. Like it's not like the people have to remake it. But they didn't like, they don't use their money. Your buddy eventually gets his meal. Just a little later. And then yeah, that's kind of sweet. Yeah. It was, I mean, I, I, I'm not like super proud of it. But sorry, interrupt the podcast guys. But this episode is brought to you by price picks. Shoot your shot on price picks and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first five

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Price picks. It's good to be right. Hey, real quick while I have you guys. I have some shows coming up. And well, we have some good news and bad news. Good. Well, depends on for me, the good news is, I'll be in Cleveland, in Pittsburgh this weekend, March 6, Cleveland, March 7, Pittsburgh. And

“I'm not front. I think both shows are going to sell out. So if you want to come,”

here's your CTA, your call to action. If you want to come to those shows and clips or to the left, if you want to come to those shows, almost call to Pittsburgh, that's crazy. Cleveland, Ohio, or Pittsburgh, for getting slip. Yeah, just come and get my tickets. I think there's a link in this video to get them. Pretty sick. And also after that, I'll be in St. Louis, Missouri, Indianapolis, St. Paul, Missouri, I guess. That's Emma, Missouri, Des Moines, Iowa, Phoenix. Here's the big one guys. All of them are selling pretty well.

God damn, that Phoenix Liberty Theater is, it's not till April 17th. So we have some time, but that shows in the round and actually enjoy performing in the round. So if you want to see my

butt for like good 10 second stretch as well, I do my thing and you know, turn around. I'll show you

my bulge at the celebrity theater as well. It'll be button bulge all night at the celebrity theater. Just an angry little micro bulge. I wear some joggers at night, so everyone gets their monies worth. They can all go. Look at that. It's barely sticking out. Guys, I'll be in Tucson, Arizona. Toronto's a big one. Two shows again, not bragging, nature of the beast. Two shows both have sold out in Toronto. I'm thinking about adding a third. So Canadians, I know I've said a lot of bad things about your

country. I was just fucking kidding around. I love you guys. You guys love me more than all these bastards and fucking Phoenix Arizona apparently. So come on out to the shows and then Chicago, of course. I'll be at the Riviera Theater. Probably going to have a second show there, hopefully, because that thing done sold out May 26. So whatever, hopefully that makes sense to you guys. Go to matmokester.com. And yeah, come to a show, man. We're having a good time. Also, I'll be doing

Algonauts in Austin, Texas. That's once a month, I do that where we're meeting Tim butterly, take people's cell phones, project their algorithm through Instagram, usually on the screen, and you know, try to get a picture of like, who is this person? What is the algorithm being sent in the, or what is being sent to them through the algorithm? What does that say about them? What doesn't it say about them? Because you can't just judge someone on their algorithm. Or maybe you can. I don't

know, come out to that. That's at the Creek and Cave. So if you go to Creek and Cave ATX, you can get that.

“And last, and I don't remember the saying last and cool enough, guys, I'm tired. Last and”

most importantly, noble bomb. I'll be in Philadelphia March 16. I'm going to, I'm just visiting family, figured I'd strip my stuff on the old flagship stage that is helium Philadelphia.

or working on. It'll be fun. Come out. It'll be St. Patty's Day weekend. You can get drunk if that's

“what you feel you must do. And if you're trying really hard not to be drunk, well, try to hold”

out. Come to the show. Be sober. You know, be fun. Learn how to be fun while sober. Or get fucking hammered on St. Patty's Day. It's really up to you. All of these, I'm weighing out choices. That's all I'm doing. I'm not trying to course you. I'm not trying to manipulate you. I'm just giving you choices. Do whatever you want. Love you guys back to the show. Part in the interruption, part in the interruption. This is Sean Gardini. I just wanted to let you guys know that

I'll be in Salt Lake City. You taught wise guys comedy club March 27th and 28th with Nate Marshall. So please come see that show if you'd like. And I'll be at the comment in Cincinnati, not comment ping pong, just the comment in Cincinnati on May 22nd and 23rd. So please come to those, that was a little joke there. But I'd really like to see you guys at the show. So please come if you can, tickets are at shongardini.com. And we also have off the move knocked us at the creek in the cave

in Austin, Texas. Me, Nate Marshall and Lamarley every first and third Tuesday of the month.

So thank you very much for your time. Part in the interruption. Enjoy the rest of the show.

“No, I worked for in Salt Lake City. Do you guys have insomnia cookies?”

Yeah. Well, I know not now. Let's do so. Yeah. I worked for in Salt Lake City. I had this idea that I was like, dude, I could totally stay up all night one day or we could be fine. So I was like, I'll work for in the day, go to school and then I'll stay up all night and deliver and saw me at cookies and just ride it into like Tuesday. I was like, you don't have to sleep every night. If you like the worst version of hustle culture I've ever heard.

I was like, if I just do one all night or a week, I'll do half I'll be fine totally. And I didn't saw me at cookies. And you know, so I would go in there and I wanted to do my bike and they're like, we have enough bike delivery people. You have a car. I'm like, yeah, have a car. So I get this big order put it in my car. I like pull up to the place, pop my tire on like the infillie has a lot of these like metal lining to the curves. I don't know why they do it. So the way a curve, they'll put like a

coping on it. And and I just pop my tires. One of them was sticking out. It's like fuck. So I'm sitting there with the pop tire. I call insomnia being like, yo, my tires popped and they're pretty much like, yeah, it's figured out. I was like, fuck, so I'm like, okay, I explored. No support, what's ever. And then, you know, it was one of those cars that had like the hub cap key where you needed to get like a certain thing from inside, even take the tire. And it was just like,

oh, stress down, all right. It was a very stressful night. And luckily this old black guy came up as a family. You know what, and he was like, you saw it and he goes, oh, that's a mercury. I had the soft top mercury, cougar. Okay. And it was like old black dude. Yeah, that shit down in the car. So they were like, bro, you need the hub cap. So there's old guy came up. You knew exactly what I needed pause and like, oh, what you do, man? I don't know what you need. Hey, dude, you completely

dad bogged me and he like knew he got the, you know, you need a security key. Show me, you took it out and he like, you know, pause together. He took the fixed tire. So he fixed tire. So, you know, my black daddy gave him fixed tire. And then, um, so I go back to him with so many, a bit of a chip on my shoulder. Now, so they're like, and they're like, oh, you're ready for more deliveries. And I was like, that's all you guys care about, huh? I had to slap that. I had to slap that. I had to slap that. I had to slap that.

I'm all sent. You know, like, I guess I'm fucking care about what you do. There's nothing worse than like, uh, working a job and people care about the job. Oh, you're higher up. I mean, yeah. I would to apricrobbing, fish. Did you come on? Was that shirtless or was that holster? They asked me to do shirtless. And I said, I can't do it. Because it's like a hundred bucks a day. I was like, that's not the price. Yeah. That's crazy. To be shirtless in a mall. That's fucking nice. Me and I didn't know him in high school. We'd stop hanging out with a guy

when he got a job at Abercrown Bay for you. I mean, I work kidding. But we were kind of like, we really, like, I don't mean to provide them for you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I got, I got recruited, genuinely, by three different Abercrombies. I'm walking like a community college campus. People are like, do you want a job? And I was like, no, I'm good. And then the third time, I was like, alright, I'll take the fucking job. Really. Constantly happening. And thank you, Mr. Wexler. I'll be glad.

“But dude, I work there for, I think, three weeks, workshop of all time. It's like four”

hours shifts. It feels like it's 10 hours. Yeah. They pump the perfume to the vents. You look nauseous,

headache. I can retails the one job I've never worked at. Any time, just hearing the same song

over and over again, stacking pants. People who work retails, I'm like, why are you doing this? Work anywhere else. Yeah, it's people get a dick. There's some people I know just do retail. Yeah, clothing stores. A lot of younger women do it because they can get the discount and they can get

I'm working there. And like, I also got like class action like checks from these people all the time because they were just fully illegal. You know, like, so I like, I get the job. They make me buy an outfit. Like if the dress had the toe in Abercrombies. They make you buy it. So I had it's been like $140 on the outfit. It's not. It was like 20% off. What? It's an expensive store. And I was like, fucking 19, you know? Yeah, that's kind of brutal. So I remember like, I went, the manager of it was like this,

like, really like gay guy, you know? And I go and I put my shirt on and wear a large, I like, bag your clothes because it's not small enough. And I was like, for real, and it goes yet tighter. Put a meeting money goes, not tight enough. What? And I was like, what? This is crazy. You're like, you're you're raping right now. Yeah, I go put a small amount and do my arms like cutting circulation off. He's like, perfect. And then they make me like pose for photos for like the

employee catalog. I have no fucking clue what's going on. But I'm truly, in a shirt that's like killing me and pants that are killing me. And then I was just a weird vibe from that that I was like, I can't do this job. And I put my two weeks in. I was like, I'm out of here, you know? Yeah. And then that manager came up to me. Fine, you can wear a medium. No, for real, for real,

“do is the worst thing I've ever heard my life. He heard that by my two weeks and he comes up”

and he goes, so I heard you too good for the fish. Wow. Dude, I went, dude, I quit now. And I left. I just left the store too good for the fish. I was like, you're the worst person I've ever met, dude. So I heard you too good for the fish. This is like a guy who's like a career manager of Africa. He's probably the regional, dude. He moved from Salt Lake City to Glendale, California, to like manage this Africa. Dude, that is the thing with retail. It sucks. But if you become like a,

you know, regional or whatever director, you kind of had like a cake walk throughout your life. If you just get driver out and check on stores and you get paid like 100 something. Yeah, I mean, I know people that like make a really good living just like they work their way up and like in and out. Yeah. And I know, I know, I know, dude, dude, I did a target like years ago. He was just like the regional VP or something. He's like, I just dried the stores and I'm like, yeah, it looks good.

Yeah, I don't think I've ever had a good job. No, like never once dog walking with sick, but I think

the boss. The money's not good, though. Right. Yeah, money sucks. I've never like once I job on like, I can do this. Yeah. We're going to weed farm for a while. It was kind of fun. That's kind of chill. You can just smoke weed and trim and you know, I paint it with my friend. That was nice. We painted houses. Yeah. That was actually pretty, actually like kind of like that. I got paid, you know, decently. Oh, dude, the, uh, friends tell you. So the, uh, I just completely forgot the, uh,

which I'm gonna call it. Was it called insomnia cookies, whatever. So then when I pulled back up and they, I could tell they didn't care. I went in, like, you can you take another order and I was the same thing. I was like, I'll take an order. I was like, I'm taking this right home and eating it, but like, yeah, thank you. So I take it order and I'm like, I'm going to go get these some of my roommates right in your cookies. And then I like forgot my jacket and they were like, oh, dude, you take another

order and like a bunch of milks and they hand me like a fucking massive cookie wonder with a bunch of milk. And I was just like, definitely taking this all home. So I went home and I just left. And I was like, I went back and I was like, sitting there eating cookies in my roommates. And then I had the phone numbers for the orders on the little slip. Yeah. So I started calling them and being like, you know, I'm outside where are you? And they're like, what? I'll see you. And I'm like,

oh, come outside man. So I had this guy walking around. Look at her coming. I was like 19 and I called him. And I was like, yo, I was like, oh, dude, I had a spin in the block. There's a bunch of like really shady guys standing outside. And he was like, where? I'm like,

“I don't know, dude, I think I was like a gang outside. So you gotta watch out for those guys.”

The rest are still my cookies. And he was like, oh, oh, I don't think just keep coming out. I'm like, wave your, are you wave your arm? So I can see you. So the guy was outside.

I had him doing always like weird like Cal state. Yeah. You like, I think the bloods are an

amblur pencil. It was, it was a university of pen. Got you. So I was like, dude, there was these guys out there. I was like a gang bro with the hell. He was just like, I don't see anybody out here. I'm like, I'll be back when I got a spin. Dude, from my own safety, I'm not making this to liberty, dude. Can't do it, dude. I'm like die. But then I called the headquarters of insomnia as one of the other deliveries that never got ordered. And that calls like, hey, my order never came here. And they were like,

well, you know, well, like, making all these things. And like, as they were like, hey, we'll figure it out. I was like, I should need him. I'm so fucking fat anyway. And they were starting to be like, oh, come on man, don't say that. I'm like, not fucking fat. He's a shit. I just shouldn't even have.

“I don't even have the weirdest shit that guy's ever had. I mean, like, I think I have to talk to”

him. He's going to kill himself. I don't know. This store finally called me like an hour later. Like,

are you okay? Yeah, I was like, I'm chill. And they're like, okay, they song up. Yeah, that was you know that. I used to deliver whippets to a drug addict. Did you really? Yeah, because I don't even understand, you can go to a smoke shop and just buy like whippets. Yeah. And there's Alexi somehow.

in the stock or something. I don't know. But yeah, in this guy tipped very well, he would literally

“ask the door like a breaking bad mess head like in a row. But yeah, and like grab this big package”

of like, yeah, with it, I would get him from like a smoke shop for like Uber. It was just, it was illegal. Do to pair. So apparently, if you do whippets all the time like that, your body just stops producing vitamin B12. Like, it, like, fucks you up. Like, you put the holes in your brain, too. Like, your brain has, like, weird spots maybe. I don't know, probably. The biohacking whip it addict. He got a supplement with the whippets. Well, there's a lady who went, like,

paralyzed. Like, she, you're like, legs stop working. Because it's something to do with your body, not producing like certain things and like it's shut off. Dude, that driver fuck was 7OH. Now that is 7OH is, uh, it's funny because I brought it up one time because I just like found out

what it was. And I like brought it up on a podcast and never finished talking about it. So if you

were like, dude, whatever you do, please don't do it. It's like 7OH is cratum. That's been like processed and refined. Almost like, you know, there's like purgists and then oxy cotton or like the same ingredient, but you just make it super strong. So 7OH is a shit. They sell like gas stations. That's like stronger than morphine. Yeah. But you can just go buy it at a gas station. So like, people go there. So you're there. You know, you're at the gas station. You're like, yeah, let me get, uh, you know,

let me get some zins. And those, some of the guys would be like, oh man, set try to 7OH and you people are like, what's it like? It's like it's very chill. There's dudes that start doing it. They become literally, they got to go on like fucking like methadone to get off the crazy price. It's like the smoke shop for selling spice for a while. It was like the fake weed before having like seizures. And should I talk to people who do like a lot of drugs and like, meth heroin, they're like,

dude, K2 is fucked up. Yeah, it's just, you know, same thing. And it's like, yeah, it's a big jail drug. People do, they would do K2 and jail because it's like, can I mean? No, it's a spice. It's a spice. Yeah, aesthetic weed, called Duce. Yeah. So it's like crush, you're like, yeah, you were smoking Duce and like my friend who's done literally every single drug, you can imagine it's like,

“bro, fucking K2 is fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can't smoke weed, like, you should try spice once.”

You think I should. I'll lose my fight. You could smoke like ounces of weed. Yeah. And they would have the head, like they would go on probation. They would smoke spice and they were like, bro, that was fucked up. He smokes lead. He turns into like the Coney 2012 guy who just starts jacking. Don't check. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It fucks you up. Dude, it fucks me up in a crazy way. Last time I smoked weed, I was probably like 24 and my friends from California,

I was living in New York. They sent me like a weed pen. I ripped it twice. I was up to 5 a.m. crying because I couldn't remember like Alan Rickman's name. I'm like in bed of my wife. I'm like, what's this fucking name? She's like, who am I in Harry Potter? She's like Daniel Rackle. I'm like, you bitch. No. I made a gun like IMD Beach goes Alan Rickman. I go. Yeah. Yeah, it's gone. I love weed. Dude, truly. And then like I remember like that same night. I was like such a cliche. I was like,

watching a family guy to comfort me. I was like, I need something like comfortable to watch. Yeah. I would laugh at a scene in family guy and then start crying because I forgot what I laughed at. We do something that's unbelievable what it does to me. I get awesome. It's truly not to mention when I smoke weed. And I'm scared. You know, there is something scary about that there because I, I just smoke weed constantly and like having like the coolest thought ever

that's going to change your life. Yeah. Two seconds later going, wait, what was that? Right. Yeah. Get it. Yeah. What the fuck is going? Yeah, you do get it like it. So I do that and then cry like a baby. I'm like way too emotional. It fractures me. This is so high that I forget what room I'm in. So I'd be like so high and I'm in the bathroom like peeing and I'd finish peeing and just be sitting there like, uh, it's probably be like,

we're in a fire. Fuck man. I used to smoke so much weed that I get like panic attacks from them and like, but I knew how to handle them. And I'd let be like, all right, I'm going to go put my feet up, get some blood to my head. And then the next day, but like that's good. I was not thinking about like, that's kind of a crazy experience to have. I would also on dates when I was younger. I would get secretly so high from edibles and go on dates. Yeah. So I'd be like a movie date just like

shit with my wife now. I went to the movies one time and like, you know, middle of the day. And I was like panicking from an edible. I went in the bathroom and I'd be like mid-date like staring at myself in the mirror being like, dude, you can alter your reality right now. You don't have to be afraid. It's

“all in your head. Now get back in there and enjoy weathering heights, all right, you have to look”

for your wife and your family who have to enjoy. Like you have Marvel movie. Yeah, I go back in and

be like, stop. I think I just hacked my fucking brain. I'll never be afraid. I think I'm Iron Man,

I'm like such a baby with it. We're all like, it's like a little bit. It changed my brain over time. I just smoked it so much that as I got older, I was like, hey, why am I doing this to myself? I'm like the nervous and uncomfortable in public now. It used to be like the total

opposite. Oh, I know. Yeah, it just fucks me up now. Yeah, I'm just not a drug guy at all. I've never

been cocaine. Me either. Yeah, never will. I don't understand the point. Never will. Never have. I didn't Molly for the first time with Devon. That's New Year's. Yeah, I know. Molly's chill. I think I lost my mind. Dave, well, yeah, I had a party to be tough. But I feel like we're in a party. It was an Airbnb in Joshua Tree of Sick. He was actually great. They were high on the highest. It was me. Holding each other. We became one, I'm caressing his back. No, Molly with the

bros is nice. It was me and all my high school bros and Devon and everyone's drinking too, though. Yeah. Yeah, really. Yeah. The kick-in on Molly does, it's actually just kind of embarrassing because I've only ever, well, this isn't the embarrassing part of thing, but I've only ever taken it with my wife. We go to a hotel room and take it and we just like chill. That was the best part, though. That's chill. Yeah, that was great. Kicks-in. I need her to hold me because I, it like it hits me so hard

that I do. Do you shake? Yeah, or when I had it, the first time I ever did it like earthquake, like the whole world started shaking and it came on and I like, you ever seen like butterfly effects?

“Yeah. You know, when you like transitions to a new timeline, that's how Molly hits me.”

Yeah. The whole world's doing this and I was like, holy fuck, the most scared I've ever been. Yeah. Yeah. The high was cool. The calm down was the worst I've ever felt in my entire life.

So, yeah, the calm down for me is not bad. I never problem with it. I learned if you just have,

if you just smoke a little bit of weed or like a vape pen during the season. Yeah. But like, you got it. My brother was like, just sip it from the vape pen just have a little bit. That actually did help. Last time I did it was like, the calm down was kind of nothing. I went out and I ate a huge thing. Sam, I felt like really happy actually for about a week after I first did it. Yeah. If I, if I, if I killed with the calm down with weed, I wouldn't be here today.

I think it would actually kill me. Yeah. I mean, the, the calm down can be, I guess you had being kind of uncomfortable. Dude, I felt like I was going down a roller coaster for three days, right? Really? I had that like body anxiety, like my stomachs and my throats. Really?

“Three days straight. My, I think my baseline is so low and depressive that like the Molly”

wear off him is like, alright. I still feel like, like he hates when I, I discount that it's the Molly that gave him this feeling. We were like binge drinking for days on end. There's like nothing worse than alcohol. Like it makes me, I have like visions when I'm hungover. I think I'm the same way. If I drink heavily, if I, especially if I like tackle like two days together, I'm like anxious and depressed for like three days. Sure. Yeah. I mean, it didn't help for sure, but I've been hungover

a million times. I'm never, I'm hungover right now. Sure. So, you know, I don't say I feel alright,

you know? Okay. That's there. But now I think maybe the Molly by itself, if you ever try it completely by itself, I don't think it's that. It's pretty chill actually. Yeah, the first time I ever did it, I, I had like two tall cans. I was like, his socks. And then my friend had given me back a Molly because I was very depressed about Kobe dying. And he was like, you got, you got to get out of this funk, man. That's, it was, I mean, he's a great guy. Love you, Mark. Yeah, that's so funny.

Yeah. Yeah. And we were all going to do like, it was very, yeah, we were all going to do like mushrooms. And then it just kind of fell through and I was just kind of like, man, fuck, I wanted to like, it was in the pandemic. Yeah, it was stuck inside. So I just kept like dipping into this bag of Molly throughout the night and then it all hit at once and everything shook and it was like crazy and I vomited and then I went into the bath tub and just like kept feeling with the tub and

shit. And then I just stayed up on my watching Kobe Highlights and just going like this. You can run a TV. It was amazing. It was like a mate. Everyone else hated me because they had the, I kept vomiting and making their lives horrible. But I had a great time. No, it was great, man. My best night was there, where's night. It's awesome. Yeah. So, my friend came up and he came upstairs to check on me. And I was just like, doing this in front of the TV. Cartoon. Cartoon. You're like a senior. Like a

“Simscare guest glitchy. I want to bed grinning. Like, I remember falling asleep like”

it was amazing. I mean, I've seen you watch Kobe Highlights sober. It's the happiest of ever. Yeah, I love Kobe freak over here. Wow. That's awesome. Yeah. That's awesome. My cousin played against the mama and some really for real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a really good basketball player and he played in a summer league. And I remember him being like, dude, there's his guys from Italy. And he's like, he's like, my cousin was really good. He was just like, bro, like, this guy's at free.

He's definitely going to the NBA. That's awesome. That's the greatest. I met, you know, Pedro. Yeah. When I started doing comedy with Pedro Pedro said he went to Laura Marion and I was like, can I shake your hand? Like, I was the double as the coolest thing ever to be. My dad went to Laura Marion. Yeah. Yeah. That's a snap. That's great. Yeah. Appreciate it. I mean,

we're gonna have a date. It's a little date. A little date. A little date. What do you do? What's

“I have two kids and the one's going to gymnastics. So every now and again, one of them's busy.”

I get to do like 101. What are we going to do? We are going to, what's funny? Sure. She picked

out her outfit. She must wear. She's going to wear it. She's like an outfit. She got it.

“This is the cutest thing you've ever heard. Yes. Very sweet. Yeah. And then we got to go to the”

thinkery, which is like a kid's museum. Okay. I'll play in there and probably go out to like a

early dinner and take her to the mothership. Top of it, Nancy. So we're going to go pick her up at

two, three times right now. I'll perfect two, 30. So that's great. Oh, yeah. So I don't know. I said, I should have kids. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. No, what's your fucking problem? I don't know. I mean, you're happier than it's fun. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys. How do you feel? Do you guys want to? Yeah. Hey, watch podcasts. Hey, watch podcasts. We'll go on that and lemon party. We were banned the field. There's a, there's a, there's a, there's a,

“there's a, there's a, there's a much more powerful Jeff out there than Epstein. I believe.”

Check out lemon party. It's fine. It was just somebody who kept reporting us. Okay. There. You guys want to get it back on YouTube, or you know, you hit up people. No one gives you a response. Sure. We got some emails from like our ad people. No one responded to us. Okay. I don't know. Fine. We'll figure it out. It's fine. Yeah. Hell yeah. Hey, watch podcasts. Yeah. See you guys. Hey. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify. Do it.