Ep 603 - GEY DOT COM (feat. Tim Butterly & Mike Rainey)

- Well, welcome to the Little Plotney now. - Yeah, yeah, thank you. I don't know, I don't know, I'm trying to get that. - I did a nice moment, I had old Nate with me this weekend and we were in, I was either Pittsburgh or Cleveland,

but like when you come out at the little theater, there's, you can see the people in the size

are already seated, so I always scope the stage

and people will see you and this is one guy from the balcony went from backstage, which I was like, that's a nice moment of connection. Pretty much ended the mail only this epidemic. So two guys, two, 40 year old men.

- You never see shallow may do in that thing, buddy. - shallow may probably, I mean, it's such, it might be. If I have to go through every hand gesture, we can possibly do to somebody.

“- This might rain supreme, you think that's a threat?”

Or just like an acknowledgement. - It's just like one party bro to another. It's a hell. - I totally don't see that. - I mean, it could be a threat.

- If you see a guy with his girlfriend, you go, then it'd be like, bro, I'm on a date. What the fuck man, it's a creeper. - I don't really think I was doing it. - He's got it, I don't know, man.

- As soon as your girlfriend or wife turns around, you go back and go. (audience laughing) - Well, God damn it, did my Granny Tim bodily thing. - Hey, get them me back, man.

I love talking pussy gestures with you guys.

- What's your gesture is amazing.

- I call it a rainy, recently, just a talk shop, 'cause I'm gonna come to your dad meet, and I think two weeks, if I get back from spring break, it's spring break forever. (audience laughing)

- I'm gonna go visit family and do it. - And, and, you know, I'm talking to a rainy, and I was telling rainy, I was telling,

“"Oh, nicotine, that's not bad, that's too much."”

- They flip you out, it takes a while. Whatever, like sensitive stuff you eat. - No, no, I'm telling you, I tried. - That was like little villi or whatever in your suffocates, all have to die, so you can do nicotine.

- I keep it hanging, man. - The rough. - You might get kind of horny to hard pounding right now. - Dude, I gave one to my brother out of wedding, he was, dude, I got like, bricked up.

- Okay. (audience laughing) - I don't feel like anything like that. - And I'm watching Conalinga, so I'm good. - It's true, this is a treat to this.

- So we, I was talking to Randy, I don't even know how we got on the subject, I probably brought it up honestly, but I was talking about Tim about just like going to Vegas, so how do we get on the subject?

- About Jack and in hotel rooms. - Probably was Jack and in hotel rooms, that's probably how we got on this, but I was telling him like, dude, like, every last time was in Vegas

and happens to me every time I'm in Vegas, I don't like Vegas, I don't want to be there, you know, I just, I don't like it, I'm sorry, I don't like the city, but there is also a part of me, and this is probably why I don't want to be there,

is like, whenever I'm going to the airport, I'll pass those like real city, like shitty motels, next to like a fucking porn shop in a strip club, and I'm like, just let me fucking be standing, like give me three monster to just like cargo shorts,

why feeder flip flops, to just live in a shitty motel in Vegas and grow tusks, come back. - Yeah, every guy should have the leave in a last Vegas treatment, so these are like a summer camp. (laughing) - I don't know, I pass him and I got to be honest,

it's a part of me, I would never do it,

but it's part of me being like, you thought they just park it in there for a few months. - Park it in there for a row of sales. - Yeah, hey, what I was telling Randy, 'cause Randy's like, oh, yeah, like,

you're gonna throw off, you throw open the plan. (laughing) - He'll get you, take drinks and turn water, drink some turn water, but the hell, you're gonna, you're gonna get the hiccups,

that's step two to throw it out. (laughing) - I told you, I can't do it all, make it clean, it's crazy, how do you look like? - You gotta get used to it, man, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta slowly put,

you gotta slowly put the woman to pat your back. - The D, I don't know if I was trying to think of a thing. I was gonna call it something else, maybe that wouldn't actually sound real, sound good, I was gonna shorten nicotine and call it

the short nicotine D, that was like that, like come on from the podcast. (laughing) - Yeah, heavy noise waking up every day in the shitty motel. - Oh, shitty motel.

“- Poor shop, but that's what's on rainy,”

I think we're our philosophies, the version, being a total pig in the shitty motel in Las Vegas. He was like, yeah, just like completely pig out. I was like, no, I would get in the best shape of my life in there, like prison.

I would get in, these are two different prison philosophies. - Exactly. - Exactly, you might go the way of indulgence in terms of comfort. - Yeah, I would train harder than ever

and be like a jacked, sick-o-pervert, bringing lunch to strippers at like 11/39, bring them healthy stuff. I'd bring the strippers like hell off of all. - Yeah, that's, every time I'm in Vegas,

I order healthy meals and I'm like, this is just me and prostitutes and strippers eating the food. - We're the only people getting an outside bowl in Las Vegas. - Just me and Dominican prostitutes. - Yeah, as I eat is like hook or foot.

- Yeah, this is a fun exercise to do in Vegas.

It's just stop randomly in your travels in the street and then see how quickly you can get to a vegetable.

“And it's like a performer vegetable, like no, aren't you?”

- No, it's like, yeah. - Yeah, see how long it takes for you to find a guy with a wheelchair that you steer with a straw. - That's what you see now. - How soon can you eat a vegetable?

And it's taken me a very long time to find it. (laughing) - Can't so this is good. And a shoe, an easy past. So that I'm still, so that I'm tack, so dear.

- Tamaris. - Exactly, this is for you, can you eat now? Tamaris, man. Still, full of shoes for all your life's moments. You find it at Tamaris.com and in the out-of-given kitchen.

With the code Spotify 10, becomes to 10% rabat of heran shoe on Tamaris.com. Perfect for you. And now, for you. - Tamaris.

- I should write context. We were, Tim, you gave up the vape. You gave up the fucking V, which is in fair. But you don't think it's fair.

I think it's totally fair.

- Why? - You can't vape and be a daddy. - I think you can't be a daddy. - Become a cigar guy. - Well, full-time daddy.

- Ew, no! - Why? - Daddy's suckin' a fake hog again. - No, it goes daddy and his friend. - Lookin' them out there.

- That's just like the bath plug and keeps the real ones out. (laughing) (laughing) That's the past, you bro.

(laughing) - That's what you don't suck at them. I wanted to send daddy a cigar, it's fine. I don't need the plants. - Yeah, you need a cigar, you need a cigar,

you need your paws to be sitting there. - Yeah, you don't want, you don't want to go on Instagram and post laugh familiar, yeah? (laughing) - No.

(laughing) - I'm not gonna post like, you know how they wear suits to a funeral and they go, "I'll clean up nice." - You see how they... - You can do yourself if you need a bro.

- You can't do yourself if you need a bro. - You just described my wager brothers.

“- Come on, that's what I think you should do is always like it.”

You couldn't even recognize the person. They somehow get such a far suit. (laughing) - You see the haircut, you know what I'm getting? - Yeah, so I think that is that guy, I know.

- Yeah, the chin strap gets shaved down to almost like pencil thin, like it's just an outline of their face. (laughing) - Is your wager brother still alive?

- So I think so.

- How did the check, but probably, yeah, they never die.

They never die when you want them. - They are living longer, like they are, I think it's like a little warming that's doing it to me. - Yeah, life expectancy on them is like, maybe hell's ever less.

- Oh God, I would say 55 years old. - 55 seems kind of aged for them. - Oh, wow. - Oh, yeah, yeah, which in wager years, that's, I mean, that's Jerry Atcher.

- That's like mostly, that's when they say like Moses was 900 years old. - Yeah, you're like the Indian guy with like the Croke figure now because you live with him. (laughing)

- Yeah, I feel like once you go, I mean, Everlash had pretty good long day longer until it curls in on itself. (laughing) Everlash paved the way with the gray hair though.

- Yeah, they went with the first to see gray. - Day one. - And it helps through he named himself Everlash. - He walked out of my brother's neck. - He walked out of my brother's neck.

(laughing) - What'd you say? - I said, oh, I'm gonna repeat it by said, Everlash walks on my brother's good blimp. (laughing)

They're both faking disability for a great hour. It's kind of an inside thing, but... - I mean, that's also, you got it. - Yeah. - Do you think he intentionally left the house

of paying guys behind or whoever else? - Wasn't he in house of pain? - Yeah, he was in house of pain. - How many guys are in house of pain? - I think three.

- What happened to those guys? - I don't know, I think maybe the DJ is the link to this guy, I might have my wiggers mixed a hold up. - What?

- You're telling me the DJ from house of pain, join limp biscuit? - Is that DJ Leethel? - I don't think he was gonna cry. - Can I just figure out where are they now?

- That 50-50 grand a real real quick. I can't, I gotta process this. (laughing) Can I grind a curb with my roll of blades for a quick so I can just process this?

- I didn't know that. - Yeah. - What?

“- Yeah, man, and there was, I think there was one other guy.”

- Who did pack it up, pack it in? Was that Everlash classic? - Yes. - Okay, that part was sick. - Don't forget, that was how it's a pain.

- Yeah. - Danny boy. - Danny boy, where the hell's he at, dead, probably? - Yeah, he sounds like he got killed in a motorcycle. (laughing)

- Is he alive? - Wow. - Where is Danny boy? - Balls that probably the Balls and Streets. Or maybe L.A.

- We're the way. - We want the researches. - That fucks your way. (laughing) - That's all he would have, that blew my mind, I had no idea.

- Yeah. - Damn, so that was a huge snag for L.B. - Mm-hm. - Like how did that even come about? - I don't know, man.

It's like, I gave up trying to figure out wiggers because it's, everything about them makes less and less sense. Like you think you haven't figured out as a kid, you're like, okay, he's gonna die at 19 in a, in a derp-like accident. He's gonna die for pullover dose at 26,

but now you see them, like, old enough is to wear it. It's hard for them to get out of a couch. And you're just like, I gave up trying to figure this out. - Yeah, but that is private time. - They're like, it's getting really skinny.

- Like, it's almost atrophy. - And they're wearing the ball shorts.

- You never catch 'em with in legs.

- Purple sauce and these, they'll go into Jordan. - They drop the perk habit, they'll lift legs. 'Cause they're sponsoring. - They don't lift legs, brother. - They're easy.

And then they get, like, the big belly. And then, oh, their glasses prescription ends up, like, mine. Old wiggers get really, like, they get buzz, light your eye prescriptions, and they, so now they just got these gougly eyes, and, like, uh, let's,

it's funny their eyes are magnified, but their pupils are so constricted from perks. They probably look like they'd die. - Yeah, they don't change, you can give me a ride to a thin air move.

(laughing) - You don't see them anymore, man.

“I don't, like, um, or have they gone just mainstream?”

- I'm thinking, like, Jay's day inside what I know. - They don't get out as much after they stop, like, going out, you know, search for honeydibs, obviously. - They're both side treats, yeah. - You might have to start an outreach program

called Peel's On Wheels, Peel's On Wheels. (laughing) They get really into, like, complicated, like, like, hacked fire sticks that up, too. They have the names of these fire sticks that up,

so when you go over there, uh, do fire sticks. - Yeah, do fire sticks. - Dude, a hack fire stick is, like, a fucking wicker, Rubik's Cube. (laughing)

- Is it true that there's a signal for the fire stick that gets, like, sent out, and, like, your race is a fire? Like, if you buy one today, like, a month from now, something that gets sent through the network that scrambles your fire stick.

- The signal is a wicker screaming to his girlfriend. - You know what, I got a scene in prison. (laughing) - It was, I've heard that before, that the fire sticks, like, the only last, the only last, so long.

- I've never, I've, I've never dabbled, dude.

I've, uh, I've been gainfully employed most of my life. - Dan, they get doused, they get doused, they get doused. - I think they get, I think they get extinguished. - I think they get doused. - I did that fast in my house and fill it for a little bit.

- Yeah. - Dude, I, I, I, I don't think, too, is, like, hacked or straight. It was apparently, like, anything on it, so it was, it was, like, it was a hacked stick.

And, uh, it was just a pain in the ass and navigate. - All right, they love doing it. They love, they love going through 14 men. - Yep, there's like, like, a bad UFC street. (laughing)

Like, we were gonna watch a movie, we'd be like, fuck yeah, we got this movie, and it was being in French, and we was like, fuck, you go back in the next one. - It's fucking cam. (laughing)

- Producer's cut, there's like, every shot, just like, the tile screen, it was, yeah, that was,

“I was like, dude, I remember that, you know,”

my wife is always loving to save money.

So that was one I had to be like, dude, can we, can I just get HBO, please? This is, this is getting ridiculous. - Did you give it, like, a burial, it's you or anything? - No, I, I wanted, I want to get him rid of this thing.

- Yeah, it was just, she was, like, so stoked on it. And I was like, bro, I'll get us HBO's $30 a month. What the fuck are we doing? This wasn't that long ago. It's just like, when we lived in Philly,

like, right before we moved. - Principle of the thing, dude. - It was, she hates all these mergers and how all of her information and media is being funneled through, you know, a very slim hole.

(laughing) - I can't get horny from it. - Break down from the nicotine overdose. - This episode is brought to you by price picks. The playoff push is heating up and torment hoops are here.

And there's no better way to cash in if you're right on the high flying hoops action than price picks where it always feels good to be right. Every bucket, every dime and every wind means more when you're playing on price picks.

Discuss my favorite picks for March madness. Let me think about that. - What do you got? Let me turn the question to you guys. Hey, you watched college basketball?

“Let me say, what are you just, just name a team.”

- How's Duke looking? - I would definitely, Duke, Duke's always a safe pick. - Yeah, Duke. - Oh, hold on, we're talking about picks. - Picks.

- Picks. (laughing) - Talk about action. What are you talking about? - Well, Duke, let's say Duke and I don't know.

Maybe you can Michigan. Oh, there we go. That's my two top teams. Thank you, Nate. Shoot your shot from March madness on price picks.

Just pick more or less on two to six player stat projections. If you get your picks right, you can cash in. And price picks is now giving you $50 in line ups when you've been signed up and play your first $5. Price picks makes every dunk, every dime,

and every board, that much more exciting. So join millions of users and sign up for America's number one sports picks app. Download the price picks app today and use code drenched to get $50 in line ups after you play

your first $5 dollar lineup. That's code drenched to get $50 in line ups after you play your first $5 dollar lineup. Price picks, it's good to be right. - We're talking on the way up about like,

I don't know how we got on the subject. They've just old, old like network TV and how they're still just like pumping millions of dollars. When it's like, "Bros, it's over, man." Like, nobody's tuning in to fucking, like, Fox.

- Yeah, it's a less Fox series you watch and like finish it all the way through. - Grounded for life. How long ago was that, probably 30 years ago? (laughing)

They still will just fucking put the bread out.

“- I think it's money laundering at this point.”

- You think so? - Yeah, I think they generate ad revenue because they're all of the channels being played in like, every waiting room everywhere has like five TVs now and that's where all of your ratings

are getting, I can't imagine. - That, no, that makes sense 'cause my theory is that the execs are also just aged boomers 'cause it's aged boomers have the Comcast still.

Although I think my parents have finally taken off

the Comcast. - The Comcast. - The Comcast. - And I could be wrong. They still might have, dude, their bill was like $470 a month

for cable internet and I was like, "What the fuck are you guys doing?" But I think the execs have the same brain where they're just like, we got it this time we doubled down. They're probably just paying like Jake J. Hillin'

home $900 million. - It makes you a dollar cowboy. - It's just cowboys shows. - It's moderate cowboys shows. - Every network cast, every moderate cowboys show.

- Yeah, you watch landman, or you landman. - Have you seen it? - Do you guys, I saw a little bit of Yellowstone landman. - Is it good? - No.

(laughing) - It's the Billy Bob Thornton being kind of pissed off. - Tell your share of the rules though. - Is that a guy or a lady? - He's the guy who created it.

- Oh, okay. - Yeah, he created a mystic river. - I think, no, not mystic river. White something. - Dude, I was talking to someone recently

and they were trying to tell me Westerns or dead. I'm like, no, they're not. They're the men. - They're the men. - Yeah, it's the modern Westerns. Yellowstone, King of Tulsa, and Landman.

They're all golden for the, it's either Gayhaki or Dow, modern Westerns. - That's where we're at right now. - Yeah, Gayhaki is one of the other. - You're Gayhaki is like ruining my sheets.

Like my wife is heavy in the fucking Gayhaki. - Gayhaki. - Yeah. Have you seen the show? - No, I just know.

- It's close. - Like, he goes, "What's show?" (laughing) - Oh, there's a show called Heated Rivalry.

“- Oh, yeah, that, that, that, is that an Netflix thing?”

- Yeah, thanks a lot. - Dude, the books are fun. They've been heavy for a while and like, I remember going to the bookstore and just seeing like, dude, what the fuck is two guys

kissing in the camp penalty box for? And then it was just like, oh, you find out like, there's this whole jubber on sub genre of Gayhaki guys. - No, six are getting. - Here's my question.

- Here's my question. Again, I feel like girls are significantly lagging guys in this regard, where they're just getting into like, dirty books. Like, I feel like, if you went to a porn shop,

it was the first thing we did with movable type.

(laughing) And they got into it after Kindle's 26. If you think there's old sluts, even like, bags full of Gayhaki eradicate in the woods now. (laughing)

That'd be great. Well, it's also like, if you went to a porn shop back in the '90s and you were trying to buy porn, there'd be like, guys in the aisles trying to blow you. - Yeah.

- So I wonder if you can catch chicks in the barns and Oble's fucking like, you pop out a book, and there's a lady on the other aisle. (laughing) - Stick your figure through.

(laughing) - Hit the Starbucks cafe. - Yeah, 'cause I don't think girls are like hanging around CD book stores. - You have to read a sign in the video.

- For real, by the way, for women. - Yeah. - What would you, I mean, you would need some sort of balance lock. - What would you do to see? - It would happen to be like,

- Oh, what if the product is on top? - Yeah, it's on top. - Right now. - What would that look like? - Yeah, I think you're right.

It would just be a toilet, but there's just a face on the toilet and the lady who said that. - But she's a kissin' like the barny stone.

“- Yeah, you have to have like a mummy tube”

that you lay in and a lady who's locked. (laughing) - Now, we're gonna figure it out for 'em. Let 'em figure it out for themselves. - Queen slutten common.

(laughing) - Yeah, the rot. (laughing) - The erotic lid is fucking crazy. - Although me.

(laughing) - You're not me right there, heart of that? - What? - The erotic lid? - Yeah, you're easy with me too.

- It's stuff like when you can tell like, I'll go on literatica sometimes and I'll pick out like, like a highly rated story and just think to myself. Dude, how are you, who's giving these to you? - Wait, what's literatica?

- Website or like a place? - Yeah, it's a website. - Or you can like pick all these different sub genres and they're all like regular people submitted. And it's like you could pick it by author or by sub genre.

- Some have audio, I've heard. So that's pretty cool. (laughing) (laughing) - Wait, you're listening to the user-made audio erotica?

- You books? - I have. - Sure. - Or some of them are just audio. It's not even a story.

- There's some, it's pretty much a podcast. - Pretty much a podcast. - It's a podcast. - I'm just letting you go on. (laughing)

- You just take a look at it. - It is the podcast. - Yeah, the erotic lid, I talked about this for a while. I don't mind it, racey story myself. I could get into erotic literature.

- I don't mind, and it feels cleaner too. - It's refined. - You know how old those images bounce on your head, you just read the story, you get charged up. - And there's ones where you could like,

it's like a madlips booklet for slots. Like you could create your own story.

- No, you never choose your own adventure?

- Yeah. - It's not on lid erotic, but to say, it's a hell of a fuck that I missed this. - Yeah, five bucks a month will get you anything you want, man. - Hold up, so they've choose your own adventures.

- I'll do that, I'll put an all my life. - Wait, are you just clicking that ad on porn? - That's like, make your own life. - Stop jacking off load. (laughing)

- I'm not.

- There's horny slots, and wait, that's my town. (laughing) - Wow. - That is funny, imagine if that's like a legit thing, and there's a door to door guy be like,

excuse me, man, are you a horny slot? (laughing) - Horny slots, that's just, dude. - I watched you guys watch "Sulfide Underbelly." - Yeah, I love that channel.

- I, they just put up one recently about a younger guy who the titles just like, it's something like I had the internet at a young age. Like I had too much internet at a young age, and I was listening to it earlier today,

and you know, he's like, that was gone, and it was working all the time. And one of my friends, I guess it started, he went on a gay.com, and I was like, (laughing)

- You got turned out on gay.com,

and he just never recovered, dude.

- Gay.com, I didn't even know. - Yeah. - I'm not trying to like flex like I'm the straightaway. - Bro, in the world, gay.com, never, it's thought. Bro, it's all the way.

It's all the way to gay.com. - It's like a ghostbuster trap. - A little fucking sucky right in. (laughing) - Dude.

- Gay. - Yeah, he was killing me.

“- But he was like, yeah, I think he brought it up almost”

just like a lemon party type joke, and the kid was like, "Yo, what the fuck is up with this?" He was young, and then he started doing this show. - Oh, like early teens, probably like 14. - It's not that young.

- That's like 30 years. - That's like 30 years. - True, you're right. Again, I don't want to, I like, I'm mixing up the ages,

he might maybe he was 12 or 11 during gay.com. - Yeah. - 'Cause he does jump around a lot, you know, it's hard to put a real, sort of put a finger on it.

- It sounds like he probably had a more serious problem. He's trying to pin it on gay.com when he was 13 years old. - Yeah, I mean, again, we've all seen Lemon Party, but I think he was just like, "Well, you know what fucked him up, gay.com,

"let him to menchette. "Menchette is where guys get together to chat. "Mostly gay guys asking young boys "for videos of them to joke you off." So he started supplying the bros

with the goods, or I should say the bads. (laughter) - He started supplying the bros with the very bad. - He became a creator or a young age. - He became a creator, so he took control of his own content.

(laughter) But then the guy was like, "Oh, so he's like, "did this for money?" He was like, "Yeah, well, I didn't really have, "like a bank account."

So like, I just did it.

He was just love with the game at first,

just kind of like, I guess thriving off the buzz. And yeah, I didn't watch the whole thing, but I was like, "Dude, getting sucked into gay.com." I mean, the gay.com menchette pipeline. But the thing is, he lived--

- I will go back and watch this entire thing. I highly doubt the headline should be. I got the internet at a young age. There's no way that's what went wrong. (laughter)

- I don't know, because everything else was pretty like-- - Let's go back to a younger age, and maybe there was something there, you know? Maybe, maybe there was some kind of serious disappointment or harm when you were much younger,

that the guy, the guy's a good interviewer, and he was asking about that. It was like, he was just a board kid and his parents were too busy, but I thought, to me, this was the thing that really kind of--

- It's crazy to be that board. I'm a board player. - Yeah, you're here, JRPGs, dude. - Like the rest of us. You guys were board nerds.

Did any of you ever think there's a chance

“like I'm so bored, I'm gonna throw me to the old guys?”

- Not once. - Yeah, I was so bored, I would wrestle my uncle. (laughter) - Nothing to do, man. - This guy's full of shit, dude.

- Wrestling man is the oldest trick in the book. But yeah, it's, you know, again, it was like, I was, well, I had questions as well. I had questions for sure. Dude, getting turned out by gate.com.

(laughter) - XT laughs so fucking hard. - It is like genuinely funny. - Yeah, what do they have on the homepage, man? - I don't even wanna look, dude.

- I don't even wanna imagine it, man. - Dude, I am worried I'll fall in face for it. (laughter)

- But the problem was, here's the thing, man.

It kids out doing this thing, obviously, and, but he would split time between living in Mexico and the States, and then when he would go to Mexico, it was just couldn't do gay shit at all. So he'd have to detox from gay action in Mexico,

'cause I guess it wasn't a ton of gay action. It's probably really risky. - Well, I'm fucking, until you get back to the land of the free term, land of the freex. (laughter)

- But yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughter) - He would go to Mexico, it is half to completely,

it is fucking detox out, so it wasn't gay action going on. I mean, I'm sure you can get it if you want in Mexico,

“but I think you have to be like high society.”

Do gay action in Mexico. - I'm just guessing. - I'm saving up to be gay in Mexico. (laughter) - I'm saving my allowance, like, you have to be like,

you have to get into like highly acclaimed avant-garde theater. - Yeah. - And then you could probably score some gay action. - They're specific places, like,

you gotta go to taking it in the Cancun. Right, too. (laughter) - He's straight facing them. Oh my God.

(laughter) - But yeah, that was something I was just kind of just enjoying the opening of Uncle Pokeda. (laughter) The one thing that the way they started,

I mean, let me just, the intro to it,

The intro, this is how fucking crazy, and again, I'm like, we all have our demons. I'm not making fun of this poor guy, but the way the intro, it is like, bro, come on, dude. - I remember having this recurring fantasy

that I would walk to the basketball court at the park and the construction workers would pull me into the bushes and rape me. - And I would franchise that I was the guy getting dunked on and his balls would get stuck

on my head. (laughter) - I shouldn't have played that as to me.

“How did I think did you pull that up so fast?”

- I was watching it, dude. - Dude, it's a fucking home screen, man. - Some of us are producers and podcasts. - Right, sorry, sorry, sorry, that intro that was like, what the fuck?

- So, yeah, it was probably the internet. - I think it was the internet guy. - Can you not come, dude? Beware. - All those youngsters out there, look, live your life,

but watch, you go to one bad website and now you want the construction workers to rape. - Well, it was, it was, it was, it was weird, it's legit fear, and then walk,

you never walk without a construction site, be like,

- Wait, did he say it was a fear or a fantasy? - I think it's a fantasy. - It was a fantasy, bro. - Yeah. - Okay, walk, we look, okay, there you go.

- Wait, it was a basketball court by a construction site, is what he said? - I believe so. - It's like a fucking cheater. I mean, pick your ball, isn't it?

- Yeah. - It's not the end one, it takes time to end it. - Anyway, I feel bad, I'm not making fun of the kid, but it's just funny. - It's undeniably funny to get sucked in to gate out.

- Dude, it's so easy to get sucked at that age. - You get no idea. - Dude, it's insane.

“- It must be, you could, I mean, world's your oyster.”

- It takes hit me hard at that time, VHS. - Yeah. - It takes for hit me hard, I didn't have internet yet, so I hadn't aunt who bought me a soft core porn from the Playboy catalog.

- She bought me a movie called Camillion. - Another set, it's my customer, - Hey, I can't help it. (laughing) - You're in.

(laughing) - Yeah, she let me pick one movie from the Playboy catalog and I picked Camillion with Tori Wells. - And how old were you? - 12.

- What was, have you, have you like, I mean, how good of a boy are we talking? How good of a man? - Dude, I was, I was straight ahead man. - No, listen, the chart must have been off the fucking.

- Dude, no trouble, little Chubby,

never said a P by really kept to myself.

My aunt was just like, one day she's like, "Pick something out of this catalog." - I look, okay, what is your thoughts on that? - She's a criminal. - Okay.

(laughing) - When she also left me five G's when she died, so in Patsy, if you're listening. - Thank you for the movie. - Thank you for the five G's.

- She's a criminal. (laughing) - She's a, yeah, she's a,

“- Yeah, she's a, I don't know what the heart of gold.”

- Yeah, cause I have thoughts on being like, you know, again, you're talking old school. Oh, I'm an old school guy. (laughing) Is that like the subtle hookup to be like,

I'm gonna get this kid to soft core. But then again, it's like, oh man, when you say it like that, you go, why? Dude, it's tough cause like that's that's summer that I got it.

Like I was being occupied. Like I had Sega Genesis and I was playing PGA233. - She was shit to do. - Yeah, my summer was locked down already, but then she's like picked something out of this catalog.

And Camillion looked enticing, cause Tory Wells was beautiful. And I was like, right, I'll take this. And then like, made way through the summer, the tape came and the door had a lock on it.

And it was one of those TV VR combos. And I slid it in, and it was just like, yeah, that was, it was like one X. So there was no penetration, but I knew what was happening. - Okay, you're the, you know, bro.

I mean, I gotta give it to you, fantastic pick. - Yeah. - Talk, what year is this? Probably 1993-ish. - Yeah, that's wild.

Did it come in the mail? Like how did it? - The giant box came in the mail. New exactly what it was when I arrived at in the pasties. - She is.

- Okay. - Well, you got to watch it alone. You got to watch it with her or anything? - No, I didn't have to watch it with her, although a couple times my cousin

and I, my cousin Chris and I watched porn together. - That's you sharing the wealth obviously. - I think so too, yeah. Cool guy. - Watching porn together.

That was, I saw a lot of people, a lot of phones doing that. He was making joke every now and again. - He would? - We would, just kind of like the mood. - Now, that was a big thing.

I met a lot of young bros, we were watching porn. Like we would get, we had Spanish fly 14. We would throw our neighborhood and we'd just like, every was just, everyone had that. - Is there a system for it?

Like who got it when? - Older brother's dominated goods and, you know, I was like, guys, scraps. I was like the guys and Mad Max. The tape had been like worn thin there,

like here you go, finally. (all laughing) - You know, he had the Spanish fly for a while.

And when they would always get caught,

we would always get busted. We were like to tell a band with rockets. Every time we got it, God forbid we had one little rocket. We had to get busted immediately. Somebody would get busted.

As it was, it was the tape, it was the VCR. We're putting it into the Gettin' Busy program. They cannot have bussy. We had to stop the nail. - 'Cause it was always that VCR, right?

Is that Spanish?

- Wow. - That was a great one. - That was great.

- That was the VCR, so like if you saw the headlights,

hitting that front window, you'd be like, (gasps) - Yeah, fucking, like, (whimpering) (whimpering) (whimpering)

- Yeah, every VCR sounded like Nick Nolty getting out of bed. (all laughing) - Then your bears could go home. You'd be sitting there like four people on a couch, no teeth.

(all laughing) - This is funny. (all laughing) - Hey guys, I was here. (all laughing)

- Yeah, it was man. Yeah, yeah, that was so fucking nerve-wracking. - Yeah, remember, we didn't, we didn't have Porno, but you remember a PBS series called Nova, but they did, they did one with who was a lady

giving birth and like, it was full on putsy shot, baby crowning.

And like we were all just sitting there like this,

like the situation room when they got bin Laden. (all laughing)

“So what's the policy now in terms of like internet porn?”

You have to ever give your kids a talk or you're just kind of like, no, someone in Roblox is gonna do it for you. You think so? I think that's a huge issue right now.

- Roblox is a big issue. I watched another software underbelly about that. - I was molestin on Roblox or something. - Yeah. - No, it was like, it was like, time.

- This is a, this is a, it's a giant issue. It was, it was tied to someone talking about, like, Epstein. - It was actually a legit Epstein survivor. - So what's Roblox like, pedo Minecraft?

- Yes. - Actually, but the game rules for kids, right? I heard it's fun. It's, it's ass. - It's ass.

- It's ass. Every game in Roblox, there's a better real game out there that I would prefer to pay for. - Yeah. - Are they going Roblox and it's free

and in all the fucking kids from school or playing and being fucking, you know, groomed and shit. - Ton of pedophiles on Roblox, barely. - Dude, I'm, I'm in the, - Well, no, I don't know.

- No, you're gonna get trouble for saying, - No, there's some, you're gonna get trouble with play. - Roblox says, "Be for that, clean up a goddamn pedophiles "offer game, dude." - Fuck, they're kind of protecting the pedophiles.

- Yeah, yeah, there's guys that are taking it upon themselves to weed out the pedophiles.

“- What are they paying for a lot of the skins or something?”

(laughing) - Guys, we're fucking paying a lot of money. - I paused my childhood for this. (laughing) - I wasted my innocence to be.

- What's up with Roblox? What are they doing with their pedophiles? - They're like the guys that are trying to like root them out and like trap them and stuff in game are getting permanently suspended and shit like that.

And the pedophiles are just being kind of let off with like a 30 day ban or something. - What? - Yeah. - What the fuck am I being misremembering

and I haven't totally done a deep dive, but I think that's the just of what's going on. - So allegedly. - Is it guys like hot talking kids or are they like, is it a character molesting?

- Well, there's a guy that showed up at a kid's house. - Well, yeah, no, I think they're, well, yeah, I think they're just trying to like chat 'em up kind of get like what's the situation like. - Yeah.

- And if they find like not a lot of parental stuff, it's like, let's go. That's how those fucking bastards work. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Recently, I've been, when do I feel

the most amount of pressure at work on stage or when I'm lying on my belly? And I know what it's like to feel stress and burnout. And what's helped me during those times? - Lying on my belly.

(laughs) - It's not healthy to feel so much pressure all the time,

“so it's important to take a moment for you.”

And if you're looking for a healthy way to do that, try therapy with BetterHelp. No joke, therapy can help you create balance or at the very least, it can help you develop better coping skills for when you do feel stressed

and overworked. But I get it, when you're overwhelmed by life, the last thing you want to do is spend hours trying to find a therapist or to make time to visit at an office.

That's where BetterHelp comes in. It makes scheduling and attending appointments a breeze because everything, even your meeting with your therapist is done online. And with an average rating of 4.9 stars out of 5,

I'd say people find it extremely useful. Prioritize your well-being with BetterHelp.

Visit BetterHelp.com/mssp to get 10% off your first month.

That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P, dot com/mssp. Guys, please, please come out this weekend. It's Friday 313, that's March 13, 2026. I'll be at the factory in St. Louis, Missouri. It's going to be a good time.

Also, on Saturday, I'll be at Closed Memorial Hall in Indianapolis, Indiana. Sales are looking decent for both of those, but we could use a little week of push, if you know what I'm saying. So again, I'll be in Indianapolis, on Saturday,

St. Louis, the Lou on Friday, please come out. - Bye. - Also, me and Nate Marshall, this is me, Sean Gardini, and me and Nate Marshall, will be in Salt Lake City on March 27th and 28th. We'll also all be in Houston at their high-investable

So please come out to that.

I'm sorry, Limer. April 3rd, 4th and 5th are those dates. I'll to move back to April 2nd, 7th,

“and I'll be in Cincinnati and Springfield, Tulsa,”

and O'Kissie, please come if you can. Thank you very much, goodbye. - I'm right now, my algorithm has been, because I watched that one I watched, and now it's like, nothing but that kind of shit of child groomers

and how prevalent they are. - You got to pull yourself out of it. - Dude, it's every night, I like fantasize about like being pedophiles with baseball bats and like shooting them and stuff,

'cause that now I'm like really, 'cause I'm like, wait, great screen table for your brain by the way, it's a great, it's a great rocket city, but it's a great way to get the background of your mind to the top. (laughs)

It gets me too charged, I wake up, I get woke up in the middle of the night, I'm like, "Kid back to bed" and I go, "Oh, so what the fuck would I do?" If I saw a pedophile, and I just started,

I get my beats per minute, my heart are like 130, I'm just laying there like, "Do you sleep in pedophile, Hunter pajamas?" I should, it's like, "Yo, pedophiles." And now I'm like obsessed with sleeper cells,

from like terrorism stuff, so I'm like, okay, like, if I'm in this play, I'm in a kids play place. Guy comes in, and I just game plan. Like, I'm like, between that and the Western Lonesome dove,

I'm reading, so I've never been closer

“to getting like tactical training with weapons,”

'cause I'm, I wanna become like a crack shot, who can also, 'cause in the book, do you ever read, either you ever read, ever read Lonesome dove? I mean, I would immediately start,

it might be my opinion, one of the best novels of all time. Just about, like, two guys who are old, ranked Texas Rangers, who had to go, and like, fight Indians, I like bad guys and shit. And so they're like kind of retired,

but now the one guy's like, we should get, they like, steal a bunch of cattle from this guy in Mexico, and they gotta just drive or heard it's about, I would say, about 1,000 head. - That's good to count, about playing gay hockey.

(laughing) - Do they gotta get them from Texas all the way to Montana, and then they just encounter all these people in the planes, but like, when they encounter dudes that like, can't shoot people,

or like, don't know how to learn, like, weapons trained, they're just kind of like, bro. Like, they can't eat, they're like, get the fuck away from me, I'm like, I can't, I gotta be weapon trained.

There's touches of that, you know, the dark tower, or the gunslinger. - Really? - Yeah, Rollins, like the best. You're probably even a better gunslinger

than the Lonesome dove guys. - Yeah, not, you're talking about Justice McCray, I've, I've had the role in this game. - Before I went to bed last night, he literally shot like nine people,

fucking blue duck out of ways, son of a bitch. - You let me gunslinger.

- You were the first friend

that everyone would be real in the afternoon. He's the best shot ever. He's way better than the Lonesome. - That's cowboys. - That's even the thing that fantasy stuff.

- Although I heard that series is sick. - I've heard that. - Well, the pecking order in the wild west is like farmers are kind of like, you're kind of a joke.

Like, you're a hard worker. The cowboy respects the work ethic of the farmer, but he or his soft target. - You're an easy, easy target, most likely. And there's also a thing with cowboys.

We're like, if you ask a cowboy to get off his horse and do a task, he's gonna get kind of myth. It's beneath the cowboy to get off his horse. He's like, hey, he'd off my horse and like, pull these pigs out of the mud.

He's gonna heal, he might want to problem with you. But then there's cowboys above the farmer, but then with amongst cowboys, it's like, have you ever seen any battle? You know, if there's all that other stuff,

how good are you playing cards? So then there's like kind of cowboys. Good cowboys, but they're kind of pussy cowboys. And there's like bad ass cowboys, but then they're bordering in a renegade,

renegade, it's like pretty much end all be all. - Dude, it's stuff when pigs get stuck in the mud 'cause most of them are a front squeal drive. (laughing) - You like a leave?

(laughing) I call 'em, show it's now. I don't even call 'em pigs anymore. Show it's. That's one independent show right there.

Loads 'em, duh, man, man. I can talk about it for an hour and a half. - It's nice to crack into a good book where you get lost in the fantasy of the 100 pages, dude. - Oh my God.

- I'm so sad 'cause I'm six hundred pages into this book and the thought of it ending, I'm like, motherfucker, then it turns out. So the guy who wrote Loads 'em, I think his name's Larry McMurchy,

Marty or something? - Mercury. - Bro, guess what else? Guess what other Western he wrote, co-wrote, by the way.

- Oh, nice. (laughing) - What do you think? Get a guess, 310 of you, man? - What's another Western?

- Two stone. - Broke back mountain. - What? - I was gonna say that as a joke. - No, he literally co-wrote, broke back mountain.

- But I tell my lady, who's the co-writer? - Lady, I tell myself, the lady handle, who's trying to get a story, he did all the good cowboys shit. 'Cause he's like, I'm like, this guy's my favorite, and I looked up as other books, I wanna know.

- You think you're gonna hide broke back

“in the inside of Loads 'em dove when you're finished with it?”

- I mean, Loads 'em dove's so good, I might give broke back and run for his money, honestly, but it's, I think he handled all the cowboy details. I think there was a lady who cooked up a sick and twisted plot and she goes,

I need a real cowboy to get in here and nice this thing and I'm like, oh, Larry.

- Yeah, by the end of that journey, you're ready for 'em.

“- I mean, you're not so Loads 'em anymore,”

I know, it's two of us. - Here's a thing though, man, I mean, I think it happened out on the range more than people cared about mid, man. - Yeah, you're talking about, you're on the planes.

- Sunsets? - Yeah, you're on the planes, man. There's not a tree inside, it's just grass as far as you can see. - Trust in each other with your lives. - Exactly.

- You know, who's your horse gonna tell? - They would also, they would get naked to like the Fording Rivers was like a huge, that was one thing cowboys would be afraid of 'cause it's like, these dudes can't not swim.

- Being covered head to toe and denim doesn't help when you're neck to keep in them. - And your wrist is like, you have a thing wrap a leather strap wrapped around your wrist.

You don't lose the horse, and then the other part is just a horse biting it to hold on to it. - Yeah, I don't know. - Horses can swim too, which surprise I just didn't know they can swim.

- Yeah, horse can swim, crazy. - But yeah, they would like get naked too, they'd all get naked together 'cause it's like if you only have somebody dry clothes to wrap up your clothes, you know,

if they got like wet from rainstorm, you'd want another change of clothes. - You think fat cowboys were shirt in the river? (laughing) - I think it was impossible.

I don't think there were fat cowboys. I think there's just fat cats. If you were fat then someone would be like, "Here, do you just wanna own this railroad building?" - It'd be like a banker or something.

- Yeah, you'd be a big fat banker. - Yeah, alone some dove. - I swear to God, dude, it's like every night when I get to hit the sheets and read a chapter, alone some dove, I'm like,

you go in the bed earlier in the earlier, just dig in. - Yeah, I mean, it's as soon as I can get there. - As soon as everything's done, I'm right in bed, right back. Only Paul's a story if I'm gonna get some motherfuckin' pussy.

(laughing) I had to pause the dove last night. (laughing) I'm getting to the age when you get the real, so when you're like, 1920, maybe even early 20s, man.

You guys, you know, dude, your girl's like, is that a copy alone some dove on my lower back? (laughing) - I'm getting to the age two, where it's like,

you know, I always took like a hundred percent,

110 percent boner for granted, like, I know, man. Every time cash money, I broke (laughing) last night, I had 110 percent or not. You just enjoy it so much, you're just like, let's fucking go, you just feel awesome.

They're taking beat, I've been running a lot, okay. So yeah, I've been doing a lot of sprints, too. So like, when you do sprints, like you produce a lot of growth hormone, and it like, you know, when you lift weights or muscles grow,

when you do a lot of high intensive cardio, your whole circulatory system, the growth hormones, makes your veins wider, more expansive, so you just get blood rushing. So yeah, if anyone out there is slap in the old fish

around the market. (laughing) - You see how that, you gotta become a preacher and starts sprinting for your life, dude. Just imagine, at the 100 meter mark,

it's just your hard boner. (laughing) Now, how long do you gotta be training to like get that kind of boner? - Dude, I think it's like, honestly,

“it's pretty quick, honestly, I don't know,”

'cause it's like, you know, there's a lot of other factors, obviously, you know, with boners or complicated beasts, but you can't think about 'em. That's the one thing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- As soon as you even, like, you're like, in my own way, it's just, it's no hitter. Like, the second you mentioned it's gone. - It's gone, dude. - So that's been fun, for me, it's a fun game.

I always like a nice challenge.

Now, I've always been set, I've always been like, "I don't know, I've always been able to talk about 'em. "I'm like, not me, bro." - I got to rigged up 24/7. - I got to try it, 'cause like, I think I'm,

my default boners are like 80, and it's like, you think back to all the boners you took for granted, like, the sixth grade. Once, when you're reading diarrhea van Frank, just rock hard, just burst into through your fucking cackies.

And you're just like, yeah, this would be for the rest of my life. - I mean, either of that too, that is either one better. (laughing) - Isn't that the sequel, Sean?

(laughing) - That's how they caught 'em. (laughing) - He was throwing down on the toilet. (laughing)

(laughing) - I support your journey. Thanks man. (laughing) - No, this was a complete no judgment, son.

- Yeah.

“- I did, I think this is a serious question.”

Was there racially stuff in Anne Frank? 'Cause I almost vaguely remembered dudes getting kind of bricked up reading. - I think she was in love with her cousin. So it's like being that like step stuff is popular now.

I think if you read that now, you might look at it from a different perspective and get a little hot in the pants. (laughing) - A little hot in the striped jacket.

- That's a great boy, that's not that crazy to say. You know, I get charged up on anything when I was in sixth grade, honestly. - I was reading a girl's name. - That's what you started out.

- Reading a girl's diary, I was like, (laughing) - Fuck dude, it's so weird. - Honestly, it's like shameful that we were all reading this poor girl's diary.

- Yeah, it's kind of weird, honestly. I know, and then it was all made up. (laughing) - That's the worst part. (laughing)

- Oh, I thought we were joking around. - We're going around. - We're going around. - I thought we were having fun.

- We're having fun. - We're having fun. - We're having fun. (laughing)

“- But we can have a little joke here and there.”

- We can have jokes here. - You can have jokes here. - You can have jokes here. - Dude, I support your joke as well. Thank you.

- I support everyone right now. (laughing) - But what I wanted to say is that you're not a kind of student. The master of the laptop is soft,

the internet is so amazing.

- I'm saying, you can say that you're a kid. - You're a master of the story. - But you don't understand. - It's not like that. - You're a master of the story.

You're a master of the story. And when you work, you're a kid. - That's right. - Safe. - You're a master.

- You're a kid. - Now you're a master of the story. - Hey, that's your hiding jokes in your podcast. (laughing) - Did you make a joke like a pride jokes leg?

(laughing) You know what I'm talking about? Instead of like the rainbow flag that's like trans gay, lesbians, black people for ever reason.

(laughing) - I'm so sorry that made you guys all gay. That's, I think if you're gay, fine. But if you can't just be gay and big, and we call black people too,

it's like leaving the hell out of this pink. - Pastels, blues. (laughing) - It's like black and brown. - That was that.

- Atlanta. - It's the reason for that, by the way. It's such a weird, I saw like, you know, again, whatever fucking do your thing.

But like, I was always the thing for me,

I was just kind of like, what does that represent? And I'm pretty sure it represents like being in solidarity with black and brown people. It's like that's nothing to do with sexual preferences. Do you guys feel bolstered by gay people

joining your cause? Unless that could be-- - Yeah, I don't need that. - No one. - I think that's all to some of them.

- It says here for it's specifically to represent and include LGBTQ+ people that are by-pock as well. - Yeah, but what the fuck, so it's only for by-pock. - Like, when you guys are gay, it's a whole separate thing. - So it's not, black people, black people be gay like this.

(laughing) - Would you guys consider marching with Ferris? (laughing) - Well man, I'm gonna hold on for a moment. - I'm gonna hold on for a moment.

- I'm gonna hold on for a moment, I'm gonna hold on for a moment. (laughing) - Not out of like a political thing, they have to think. - For King. - Not your thing.

- Yeah, okay, fair enough.

- So this stripe, just to clarify,

“that's what the stripes for, it's not for like BBC love it.”

(laughing) (laughing) - Oh, anyway, that's, I was just curious about that. (laughing) - So funny throwing that on there, like a kid throwing a candy bar

on the fucking, the fucking belt at the supermarket, when it's mom's not looking. (laughing) - That does do, yeah. - Call us it up, I'm done.

- I mean, I think personally, if you have a flag totally fair, you need to come with a national anthem or some sort of song. There needs to be a gay national anthem. - That's fair.

- All right, let's look. - Do you think so? - On official ones, yeah. - Like Pink Pony Club is up there. - Pink Pony Club?

- Damn, I fucking love that. I listen to that with my kids all the time. That's a gay national anthem? - No, just maybe in my head. - Yeah.

- 'Cause I think I'm lesbian stripper. - Yeah, Caleb Scott's big. - Okay. - Techno Beach, Madonna. - Why I see it?

- There you go, there you go, there you go. - They're my, calling Mr. Vain. - Little mayor, what are you talking about, dude? That's definitely the gay national anthem. Anytime, if you're dressed like construction workers,

someone has any other type of outfit, you get called to village people and people are, you know, gay national anthem. (laughing) - National anthem.

- This is how we do. (laughing) - No, what is it? - Oh really? - What the hell?

- Oh, go, could you sing it's just a bar of it, maybe? - Every boy sings things to hurt him. - Show, could you add like rattling chains to the, - Oh, Jesus, what do you think? - Jesus, what can I say to them?

- That was more about his timbre and the way he was singing. - I'm sure it's a higher register. - We're all in one today. (laughing)

- But what are you talking about? (laughing) - Well, well, well, so what else do you guys up to? - You know me, I was picking out in that hotel room. - What were you doing?

- Oh, yeah, that's, oh, that's okay. That's where the whole conversation came from. You were at a hotel next to the airport, and I got secretly very jealous of you. (laughing)

- You can really piggy at a hotel next to an airport. - Yeah, but I'm not kidding when I say I was four or five times a day. - Cool.

“- Hey, you should cut the hotels next to the airport,”

should have a direct to modem connection that can go right into your phone. (laughing) - Yeah, the end of the day, my phone's like, I'm tired, boys. (laughing)

- It's nice, man, I cranked the fucking tubes,

(laughing)

“- That's awesome. You were just set up like a king,”

just chill. - Dude, I got such a nice hotel for 85 bucks, and I was just going ballistic in that fucking thing. (laughing) I was having, I told, I was having guests come up

through court podcasts too, so I was meeting guys in the lobby, bringing them up, until like a, like a comeback. - Was it a towel under the door? (laughing)

- Probably probably the rain forest in there. (laughing) - It was so nice, 'cause there was no like verification, like it isn't Texas, like back in Pennsylvania, it was the Wild West, man.

Have you verified, aged verified? - It's funny bringing that up. This morning I did because one of my favorite lady, Sadie Andrews, she was putting out a new video today, and I signed up for her premium service,

but I was kind of bummed because the video she posted didn't come out until Tim and I were on her way here. - So you're at, I don't even know if you're at Burs and Hell, dude. (laughing) - That's fucking lit, dude.

(laughing) (laughing) - Yeah, I can't wait to dig into that thing when I get home, man.

“You think this is more acceptable than daddy vaping?”

(laughing) I'm ready to add this conversation. This is better than daddy vaping. - Daddy guinning is better than daddy vaping. (laughing)

- Here's the thing, in privacy, yes.

If you were to get busted daddy guinning, and then he's cutting stuff. - You're vaping right in front of them. No, wait, don't. - You've vaping stuff.

- I hide it from them. - Like a, that's different. - Or on, that's different of a different color. - That's good, I'm completely on your side. - Yeah, if you're a, if you're a privately vaping,

that's your business. - I know. - Also, just, secretly vaping. I have so many uncles that secretly smoke. - I take care of everyone in my life.

- Yeah. - And actually, it does sound exciting. - Yeah, dude, I had uncles that just smoke cigarettes on construction sites when never do it around anywhere else. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm gonna start vaping on construction sites.

I feel like if you build a gazebo with your bare hands, and they're like, I'm like, come out here in vaping. - Yeah. - No, I'm gonna say shit to you. - My vaping gazebo. (laughing) - I'm covered in nice crawling, I mean,

I think you'd build a gazebo. I mean, no, I am geek bar gazebo. Don't bother daddy's and his gazebo. (laughing) (laughing)

Yeah, when you put it that way. (laughing) - I might not help the cause. What if you like draped it out like a really sheer materials?

So that when you vap, it's like almost like a... - Oh, essentially. - Ceremonie, don't think? - Like some pipe hat, like some pipe and draping. - Sure.

- We kind of chill. - Yeah, you know what I'm gonna be cool as hell? What if I set up like a tap system at a bar?

So I'm never actually vaping the vice.

There's just like cords that come down that are tapped to like, vape banks under the gazebo and I'm just hitting the tap. - That's kind of nice. - That'd be fucking sick.

I could YouTube that. - What about hookah? You think hookah? - I would be like, do I do have e-hookas? (laughing)

- I do have a couple disposable e-hookas. - So is it a vape with a genie on it? It's like a tubular vape with like, well, one of them has like a flaming night on it. And it's not vaping, it's e-hookas completely different.

- What's different, actually? - Is it water-filtered? - What? - Is it filtered through water? Why is it, what's it, what's it different?

- No, it's the, it's the, whatever the different herb is that they hookah and I'll tell you this, does not scratch the vape is. - Tim, who controls the vape banks? - Wait, was the pond hookah controls

or who controls who can, we'll do it on our list. (laughing) - You're not gonna trip me up. - Wow, this has been a great time. - You share your vape with other guys.

- Only Arrimaddy, that's fair. - Yeah, I mean, look, yeah, you're gonna have to like start stashin' 'em. - Yeah, they look like we're in the attic. - So let me get, let me get the counterpoint.

- What is the, what's the gruff with the vaping? It's a health risk, yeah, and I'm getting old, and it's gay.

“- I think it's probably equally weighted”

between the two. - Dying is being gay. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, his vaping is being gay. - And I'm fine with both.

- Yeah, I don't, but I'm not gonna be old again.

- I don't wanna live a second longer

than I absolutely have to. - Okay. - Because I'm gonna solid defend, so I also really like get my penis socks on time. - Yeah, that's the trade-off and money.

- Do you ever vape while you get it sucked? - I'm having, I don't make enough money for that. (laughing) - Rest assured, one thing's hit for me. I will be moving different, that's a part of the show.

- Maybe you and the move for a little blue razz? Have you tried to share the vape, you're like,

- He didn't hit a little bit.

- Yeah, that's good move.

“- Did you be in the havent vape smoke blown to see me?”

- No, she goes, no, I'm not a gay guy. - There we go. - Have a satin bro. - That hurts. - That hurts.

- That hurts. - I mean, I might switch to gooting and say, is this preferable? Now I know women's names all mine that I send $5 to, is this better than me hitting the frozen white mango?

(laughing) - Well, I play marathon, is that different? - Brother, I got a queen size bed and my wife and I are fighting right now. - Come over, we're done.

(laughing) - We'll each hold one end of the phone. And I'll show you, you see the Andrews new video. (laughing) - Question is, what do you want?

(laughing) - Oh, you fucking dumb man. It's gonna be left alone. - Come goon man. (laughing)

- True man is my Vietnamese friend in my school. - Oh, I think we all should just chill out. Go on menchat.com, I'll see you. - Just have it out, talk to the pros. - You would go to menchat first, then gay.com.

You think it will happen if you get spit out instead of suck them? (laughing) - Well, I think the crazy thing is, is like, as a guy jerking off online recording yourself,

there's a market for you pretty much always.

So, I was like, "I'll read you old from menchat." We'd be the guys asking for the vids or like, "What the hell, what do I even do on there?" I don't know. (laughing)

We should all go get some new outfits. (laughing)

“- You should go on menchat.com in this video to have yourself”

vaping. (laughing) - There's probably, I would imagine these gay guys I want to see you vaping. Bro, now you're like, "This is business."

Now you're, now you're gonna be here with business, babe. - I can't let that slide. I'm on menchat.com. - We could argue with the vaping. - We could all hit the white peach mango

called gang vaping. (laughing) - Oh, my gosh. (laughing) - Oh, fuck. - There's gonna be a gay tape tattoo.

- Oh, man. Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. (laughing) - That's great. - I don't know, there's no easy answer for this stuff.

- There's nothing to do with it. - I think we'll go like Russian-nesting dolls. Like, you could probably be the, be the hunted, Matt's like the middle ground. Then I'm the guy that's asking for the vids.

(laughing) The old dude. - San Francisco-nesting dolls. - True, I'm probably like, I'm probably sending some vids or see if I'd probably be hitting them

but you know, we're entering that out. - Yeah, you're liaison. (laughing)

“- I think if we, if I did sit in the middle,”

this would be sort of a Pokemon evolution of gay pervert. (laughing) - Stars. - Stars. (laughing)

- That's ever so sponsored by gay.com. (laughing) - Lee, Matt, looks like a twin. (laughing) - Oh, no, I'm a twunk.

- I'm a bear nerd. - I'm actually, get it right, I'm a twunk. - It's a twunk. - What is it for? - It's a twink.

- It's like a honky twink. - Wow. - Twunk is one of the twink puts on muscle. - Who forced you to learn that? Charles puts things.

(laughing) - When I did, which we've got gargles and incorporated, he broke me off a twunk terminology, and I was like, "Bro, thank you." - What's Tim?

- I see you'll, I would imagine. - I've heard him before. - Bearcub, baby. - Yeah. - Can be a bearcub?

- What would you be? - You don't be a brother. - What do you think I am? - Shhh. - Yo, go crazy in the chat if you can tell me what I am.

(laughing) - I think, would you say you're an honest guy, would you say you're a bearer of pig? (laughing) Pig is high, that honestly he broke,

I have nothing but respect for gay pigs. (laughing) You don't want to pig is, right? - No, it's helping forever. - So there was a guy,

my brother drove trash trucks. There was a trash truck driver who was just an out and out pig. So a pig is like a guy who rolls up, you know, you have a trunk, you got the seals,

you got the bears. A pig, we'd be party and I hope we have to, we have to airport fucking hotel, we all party and a pig would roll up and a pig is just like a pig will do anything dude.

- Well man, clean up duty, like pigs are just like the hornyest gay guys possible. - I hope you guys are ready for some scrapbook. (laughing) So you could be a bear, I don't want to tell you,

I'm just putting all the options out there. - You know what I think? - Pig to me is like, I'm an effort guy, so I think I'd be a pig, I suppose to a bear. - It's like the seeker in Quidditch.

They're like, there's some most important thing.

- Everyone's doing their thing. They're like really winning the game. It's like a pig is nice. I like to think I'm a bit of a pig as well. - You can be a trunk pig?

- I mean bro, I think there'd be nothing more in demand than a trunk pig, a pair of this, a trunk pig. (laughing) - Hairless bro, completely hairless. - Oh sure.

- You could really get me glistening. You could wax me up. - Mm-hmm. - Fine, I could lock it even get hold of me though, I'd be five years slippery fellow.

- Yeah, I could pick you up. - I could pick you on a float. (laughing) - You're the golden snitch. (laughing)

- I do have a fat ass, all your ass asses.

- I'm cakey though, summer.

- What's your ass looking like right now? - Kaked. - Kaked historically, cakeed. That's what's up. - Yeah, I've been flipping the tire.

- Have you really? - Yeah, a lot of guys have no ass, I've been learning. - That's the saddest thing in the world. - I know. What do you got?

- You're a dog ass or an ass cake. - Yeah, you're a dog ass. - I have dog ass. - Dog ass. - Nate, a toy is dog ass?

- Yeah, you used to have it ass man. - You lost your ass. - I lost my gambling. - I used to be cakeed up, lost my ass.

- How'd you lose your ass? - I just, I don't know, I just started sitting on it. I stopped walking. I was sitting on it all the same. - I was squished my ass.

(laughing) I don't know. (laughing) - That's fair.

- No, I don't think you're cakeed up the mirror.

“I think you've probably got teacher ass.”

- Do you think you're just wide and just mushed? (laughing) - You look like the kind of ass it looks like you say, "Come here, baby." (laughing)

- Teacher ass is crazy. (laughing) - Claire, your knees don't bend inward, do they? (laughing) - No, no, guys, making sure.

Is that kind of dictates the shape of the big guy but? (laughing) You know, it gets kind of like a bloodhound mouth thing going. - Yeah, that's, there's not much variation for guys asses, honestly.

You don't have a fat ass with just no ass. - Really, it's not. Women you have like heart shape, honey, you know, you have a lot of different butts. Oh God, dang man, I think we done did it.

Where we at here. - Woo! - Wow man. - God damn, the twang talk took his home. - Twang talk, we really slid into home.

It's consistent thread through the entire app. Perfect. (laughing) - Perfect. - It's got to be called, the episode is definitely gay.com for sure.

(laughing) (laughing)

“- Can you get them as a last minute sponsor, you think?”

- I would like to hope, you're the dad of the, you guys familiar with wow, wow, Wes. - No, tell me about it. - I shouldn't even talk about the fun. - Hello.

- Right now. - There's a place in, I think it's like, New England somewhere, where it's just an all male naked retreat.

And I, when I first heard that, I was like,

serious, that's kind of like crazy, but it's obviously just gay guys. And if you're under 33 years old, your first day is free. Larry Birdfans. (laughing)

- Under 33 years. - Under 33 years. - Under 33 years. - Under 33, it was like 31 or 32, but me the way.

- I don't want to put the house on blasts. - You know, there's an nasty denotation behind that. - Yeah, I think so. - Reduce that meat meet up at the, wow, wow, Wes. - Yes.

- Dual land party at the, at, wow, wow, Wes. - Being outside naked in the woods, wood rip. Undoubtedly, I would be scared to get attacked by something. - A twang?

- No, it's like, some weird beast in the woods, like a fucking fox or something. - A fox went into it and naked guy? - Fox will steal your penis in the woods. - That's what I worry about, man.

- Yeah. - It's so cunning. - A little fox bite would get you. - We're in a little cloak. - You're a butcher, you don't know about it.

- That's natural penis often, really.

“- But do you feel better clothed or is that not the issue?”

- Yeah, but like being clothed in the woods. - Okay. - That way you can just get loose. - If you don't want to be naked in afraid. - Yeah, I think I would, uh, bugs too.

Bugs get a bug up your butt would be too many. (laughing) - Especially got a leg. - Bugs up your butt? - Especially got like a little slippery centipede going up there.

- I'd worry about, some roly poli's having a time on. - Yeah. (laughing) - It's a couple of little guys. It's grown up with balls and doing a congaline.

- I think we'll meet with their little fucking little feet. (laughing) - Got them. - Yeah, we about landed this bird. - Oh man, that was fun.

- Thank you guys. - Thank you for having us, man. - Dude, obviously check out Dad Meat. - Yeah, baby. - Oh, come see me on the road.

I'm in Ohio this weekend. I'm in Boston next weekend. I'm, I'm taping a 30 minute special with the creek and the cave with that guest visual in May. Come do that stuff, please.

- I don't be awesome. - It check out my books at onperks.com. Also, patreon.com/gettingsomehead. I'm doing a goals and accountability groups. So check that out next week.

- Hell yeah. Also, this weekend, guys, this is really big. I'll be in Indianapolis. Sorry, I'm going off to get.com interview. - I mean, St. Louis at the factory on Friday

and then on three, 14, I'll be at a moral hall in Indianapolis, Indiana. Please come out to that and let's see it. - Thank you. - Awesome.

- Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane Secret Podcast on Spotify. - Do it.