Ep 612 - Night Gator (feat. Charles Blyzniuk)

- I love you, I'm loving a man.

- I've come around. - Yeah. - I was against Incess, I thought it was for you. - Oh, yo. - I thought it was for Slots and Minority.

- You said Incess, you said Incess. - Incess, I was against Incess. - Hey, still on the record. - Now I'm for it. - You're on the right side.

- Yeah, it's a very video. (laughing) - Incess, Slots, Slots and Minority. (laughing) - I thought Incess was for Slots and Minoritys.

- It's so funny. - Now I know I can enjoy it as well. - There you go. (laughing) - Literally broadens, I'll give them to you.

- I brought this to you. - I brought this to you. - I brought it. - Yeah, brought the Incess, six. - There's one big one, my wife hates it. I gotta use it in my office.

- Oh, if you'll like it. - Oh, it's holding the theory. - Incess, hate Incess, she's type A though. - Incess, if you're type A, Incess is not for you. - It's not for me.

- She's type A. - It's for doppers. - It's for type B, Slots and Minoritys. (laughing) - Yeah, people who have to wait and tell the thing burns

entirely.

- I've never done it in two A, what guy's house?

- Well, that's I was the Incess. - Unless. - Sweep. - Yeah, say. - That's a dopper. - That's a dopper thing.

- Dopper thing for sure. - Dopper thing, muslims oil, they go direct to the body. - The oil is rolling.

“- Yeah, I might get into muslim oils honestly.”

- That's a nice, a quiet level up your fly. - Sure, I'm at the mothership. (laughing) - Poppy, Poppy. - That might be my merch table, muslim oils.

I'll come out after a show and be like my friend. I'm gonna be sear up. - Oh, I see. - Oh, my friend. - Maybe.

- That'd be nice. I'd be nice to get like a, for the merch table, having a slice of like, an Indian city where it's just clamored, you come all the way out. It's just like you come out to like a new Delhi street

where it's just clamoring. - You've sharpened people like that. - People are grabbing you by the wrist. Like, come with me, come here, my friend, please. Like towards the pyramids, all kinds of crazy shit.

- A video pissed me off so much yesterday. - Yeah, keep laughing. - You want to just guys in a whole grinding plastic up. Or fucking 12 hours for the rest of the lives. - They're like, is it boring?

- You guys like, no. - Yeah, I love it. - I love it, shit. - Yeah, you're literally sitting on your heels for 12 hours grinding plastic.

- Yeah, that was crazy. I want to know who's the fat cat that buys up all that plastic. - That cat was the guy with the computer. - Oh, yeah, true.

- Yeah, yeah. - He makes a good game. - He makes a good game. - Manage your butt even transcends the world. (laughing)

If you're the manager, no matter where you are, you are getting a button down, Cackies. - Clutch out there, fat ass. - Yeah, man, it's crazy. - The plead of Cackies are for the managerial cat,

class man. - He did it. - And manager, I've ever worked on it. - Fat ass bro, juicy ass. - Yes, thick talk, no matter woman or man, you get a man,

you start, if you're a man, you start to venture, you start like, transient into a woman's figure. - It's crazy, it's a full family, it's crazy.

“- 'Cause I think it's, it is a very feminine job.”

- Manage your head. - Manage your head. (laughing) - Well, I don't want to have to do this. I don't want to have to talk to you again,

but I will talk to you. If you don't get that done, you get a fucking bitch. It's important to a guy above you. - Yeah, it's just a little bitch. - I would rather be minion than manager.

- I either want to be minion or boss. I don't want to be manager, manager sucks. - Mini rules, if you're the lowest guy at the job. - Yeah, I do like, man, it's all I've ever done. - You know what?

- Yeah, that's 'cause you're working for the boss. - And you're like, the managers are fucking bitch. - Yeah, he's got a nice place. - But he sucks, but he does have a nice ass. - The boss loves his minions.

I've seen that on display so many times. - Yeah. - I swear to God, the boss minions are like the closest the managers do. And anytime someone becomes manager, every minion is like,

do you fall? - Fuck that guy. - Yeah, he's a minion dude. - Fuck that guy. - That's when they transform.

- Yeah. - Yeah, that's the stuff going on. Nobody likes me. I'm gonna get against me. I'm gonna tell on you.

You guys have been mean to me since I started this. - I did like, when I worked for an electrician, it was my friend's uncle. And I was, I was a, I got a lot of hate 'cause I was a prized minion.

I got to drive him around every day. It was awesome.

I was like his show fur basically.

And every now and again, he'd be like, yeah, you wanna go pop up on him, see what they're doing. And he would do like walk ups on jobs. Dude, you would catch the minions, be like laying down and fucking around.

He would be like, what are you guys doing? - Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. We're just chilling for a second here. Dude, it's the best. - You could do it outside.

- I know, they are totally unbothered. (laughing) The minions working on the street right now. - I mean, they lay under the tree. Every comment out there is time guys taking a nap

in my front yard.

“But if you ran up and I'm like, what are you doing?”

There we go. - Ugh! - Yeah, yeah, yeah, these are strong. - They're strong lads for sure. But you can catch a nap on a nap outside

and the white guy who just walk up on him and say,

it's time to, it's time to boogie.

“- Yeah, we'd have to put on pleaded cackets.”

(laughing) - I walk out like this. - This is a blue teacher. - This is a fucking minion talking to me. (laughing)

It's a white minion, the lowest form of minion. (laughing) - Yeah, cackets, belt clip, phone. - Yeah. - You got a roll bite?

- Yeah, I just sent out of the phone chance. - It's just the ass. - You have not bought new pants, but you gained 40 pounds just in your ass and hips. You're a manager.

- It's crazy, it's wild. - There we go. You get a BBL just to move up. - Yo, I live up the corporate ladder. - You got a BBL, your boss was starting to notice them,

you know, this guy's got the makings of a true manager. - Yeah, I'm gonna go to a plastic surgeon and be like, I just wanna look like a dairy queen manager. - Let me see. - I need you to appreciate that boy.

(laughing) - Dude, I was a me and Blizzard having a laugh about... (laughing) - I should have even told you. - I mean, I'm here.

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- Supervision King is nice. - I actually don't, yeah, I can out the girl. - When I was 10 parents and then you get to go, bro, it's just you and me in the room tonight. - Shhh, the parents are gone.

- When I, yeah, I see everyone just... - He's a very private man, I shouldn't say that. - When I, as soon as I said, I'm like, oh shit, I forgot. - When I was texting you about it 'cause he was making me laugh, I was like, I was making me laugh,

but I'm actually excited by it. They're kinda like it. - I'm also... - It's good.

“- It's exciting if you stay with, you know.”

- Relatives.

- Like they're a family of your family.

- Yeah. - To have quiet sex. - I'm just like, damn, this is great. - Normally, she'd be screaming for what other stuff. - Now we have to be quiet, so there's no pressure on me

for this shed silence next. - No, I scream. (laughing) - Mom, dad wake up, fuck, dad, I'm coming. - Dad, punch in the face.

- Mom, I've got to have a class of water, I'm really thirsty. - Mom, I've got a class of water, I'm really thirsty. - 14 minutes, really thirsty. - It's a good one. - Four teams are good around.

- Four teams is solid, bro. I'm on, I'm back on my no-born. Not even, it's not even, I'm not even trying to. I'm just being like, I'm just not interested in the porn, I'm interested in vaping,

and I'm coming up on that ovulation cycle. So I'm like, yo, it's about to be on. - You've got to be honest. - We are game planning, she's like, she actually said this to me this morning,

she's like, I know you're like a head job before that way you last longer. I'm like, bro, I'm down for whatever. - Oh, wow. - Otherwise you wait, wait, wait, and then it's like,

it's the juiciest ever time. - It's a good time. - Yeah, it's a good time. - Yeah. - So I'm about to...

- I'm a big fan of a quick time. - Yeah, I don't give a fuck about you at all. It was fucking wonderful. (laughing) - Now, now I...

- I gotta stay, I wanna stay, I'll be there for a minute, bro. - Yeah. - I give me a couple of minutes, I don't need that. - A couple of minutes is nice, but then it starts to get a little too long,

you go, fuck, I'm sorry, I get tired. (laughing) - I don't get too tired even if I can do it now. - I've been playing it, when you're planking, I've been planking regularly, I'm excited to show off,

there's no other way, there's no other way, there's no other way, there's no other way. - Like planking, yeah, it's celebrating a touch. (laughing) - That's crazy.

(laughing) - Do you ever see the guy on TikTok who goes like this and goes, and then does different arm movements? - No.

- There's a guy, you know what I'm talking about? - Yeah, there's a triumphant arm straight up the knee. - Because if I will trend of like divorce 5th year old guys, I want to show women how sick they are in terms of like fugging.

So they do a thing where they go like this, dip the pelvis, pop, lift one arm, lift one arm, it's just then like, up and down, they'll do it in like a 7/11 aisle, it's so funny. - Oh, I've actually, okay, I have seen that.

- I thought you were talking about the guys who put the camera here, like you're fucking them. Obviously, yeah, I'm, it's great. (laughing) - You lay a camera down.

- Oh no. - Again, 50 year old 40 year old divorce guys. I saw a woman that guys touched my gun. - Oh no, no. - No.

- It's so funny. - But I really sounded the Gabe Davis and Billy. (laughing) Gabe and Billy are getting those. - And then you look at the comments and it's literally like

40 year old women, like across the country, like I love this. - I get so sad when I see women suffer the cause. - Just guys, fuck. - You see the one, I said you were the guys,

- It's like, did you just end that recently?

- Yeah, I did. - I gotta show you how to see the Gram.

“He's just showing him, he's showing him what he can do.”

- He's got a crazy tongue. (laughing) - Pause. (laughing) - Let me see it, let me see it, let me see.

(laughing) - Yo, what? (laughing) Why'd you have a towel on his head? - He's sweating under the head.

(laughing) - Go T, full. - There's go T. - Oh no. - Oh no.

- Oh no. - Oh my God. - I didn't know that was a thing. - I didn't have life, what he said in your soul to eat it. - Oh, okay.

- Eight inches. - Thick. - I don't know how that guy's coming back. - Yeah, I like how people are impersonating him and guessing.

- Yeah, yeah, that's nice. - My daughter just died last year, she killed herself. - Eight years old, she was faster than me. (laughing) - Yeah, that's fun.

- It's fun. - I had a, I don't know why this tickled me the other day and I've done this on accident before, but I was thinking about it. I don't know if you've ever done the night gator to a woman

when you take it dump before bedtime or if you get the flush it and oh night she's getting up and she takes her little peas and she doesn't know that gators lurking until the morning time

and she confronts the gator goes, oh my God! Oh shit, my bad. I was reading a good book, I've got the flush. I love the night. I love the night gator.

- You're forgetting the flush. - If you're an analogue, I feel you might forget something.

- Dude, I'm really, I'm always there long as hell, dude.

- You never forget the night. - I forgot and dude, I forgot. I get, if I'm like deep in my phone or like a book, I'll just get up and if something happens like, "Oh, let me go."

- I kid my wake up, I'll run here. - I'm terrified of the night gator. - Bro, I'll leave. - I'm like, if a girl is with me, I'm like, "Holy shit, did I forget the flush?"

- Yeah, for some reason, I'm like,

“I think there's a tear in the hope of the flush.”

- No, no, no. - So even though it's under a moonlight, it's on it. - Yeah. - Repeat on the gator all night.

- I think it's head out underneath the toilet paper, just wait. - I was like, I was left the gator under the other night and I had to also, "Oh, shit." - Yeah, right back in, I did the gator again. I did what the gator down.

- I didn't know that's not your alarm. It's actually not the morning yet, sorry. - Nothing's sour, it's a woman's mood first seen the morning, the fronting the gator first. Just in the morning, the twilight.

- You just hear it. - But lady, I'll leave a little road rash for you. (laughing) - Nothing pisses me off more than to you, the lady's fucking road rash. You got this stuff, they could giant shit.

Clean that, I don't wanna see that. (laughing) - The road rash? - Shit. - Yeah.

- I'll do it to my ears. - Tiger marks. (laughing) - I had a fucked up, I had gas last night and I was just setting them off.

I literally woke up in one point. I did like a complete, like a, a, a, a, a, a fart that if you videoed it would have,

maybe we've got a million views on it.

It was so loud. It was so long, it's so powerful. I did it my sleep.

“Then woke up to my wife like, "Oh, no, no, fuck."”

And I felt the velocity, and I was like, "Yo, I'm sorry about that. That's really bad." It was real like, "Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." - They did it with the fog horn. (laughing)

We did it with the fog horn. - I wish you were ordering or tracking that. - I know. - I know. - Like I wanted to.

- Yeah. - Far would get one today. - Yeah. - You can probably have to put it, you could probably like a fart, behold,

or ordering for the behold. How many farts a day, how hot that is. - I can feel me 10. - It's weird. - Or if I could be like your blood pressure

spiked hard to ship for one second. Just me going. - Did you fart? - You get an app, it's like, you get a message like, "Let it out, brother."

I'm tracking her ordering, she's in a deep sleep. You're safe to fart. - Oh, that's nice. - Yeah. - You can link them up.

- Yeah, I have a whole new man, man. It's gotta be bad for you. - Probably. - It's got a weird way. - What the fuck happens to it?

- Well, it's just, I mean, immediately, it's just discomfort. - Yeah, it's discomfort. - But it's like, where does it go? You fart, there's not a lot of science on farts at all.

I'm thrilled. I wanted the encyclopedia on farts. I searched for it. All I found was that book I showed you guys, about a guy wrote about almost hell.

You almost shit himself a bunch of times. That's it. That's it. The book, he actually thanked us. That book did really well.

- That's nice. - Yeah. - You might, I mean, you just step into that. Step into that. - Yeah, well, I started doing it.

- I guess I gotta find someone I can start studying. I bug professors every now and again, it's like to do stuff, come on. - Just go outside and get one of these guys who's working on this.

- That's true. - Get a fart shot man. - They would take me into the tent with them. - Yeah, we've also got farting. - I'll be riding in your steam roller with you all day.

(laughing) - You great, just to be like, "How do you find that go fart?" What? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Now we're speaking the same language. Far.

Far. Far. I want to, yeah. I want to gas up so hard than hit like an Iowa Oscar ceremony.

Just not even drinking. Just like everything. Just like everything. Just like everything. Wow.

What the fuck?

People would have like, like, like, "Faltering."

Yeah. Bird just came back. Amazing. The rent is too old. Yeah.

It's beautiful in there. Oh, my dad. And then you're, yeah. The way you wear like the all way. But it's a tall tee.

I can talk to you. Oh. Yeah. That's, uh, I've said it before. Those are Iowa Oscar ceremonies.

Kind of freak me out, man. A lot of people who do that, they go and do it like 50 more times. And you're like, yeah, they go broke. Yeah, they go broke. What's good?

Right. Right. 50. I know. It's a lot.

“Feel like, are you supposed to do it like a couple of times?”

If you actually get into it. I would think if you did something that crazy, you wouldn't do it 50 more times. Totally. Yeah. I don't think I'm going to do it.

No, I don't know.

I'll say that stuff for like, when I'm dying, that's going to be fired out.

You know, although that might blow big. I mean, you're dying with the fuck. Yeah, no. And then you're going to really realize it. It's probably going to be really scary.

Yeah. True. You could either accept it or it's going to be fucking horrific. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. I mean, but then it's like, I'm kind of terrified. Like, just dying in sweatpants watching TV is like fucking scary too. That's coming. Yeah.

That's coming. That's coming. It comes for us all. Yeah. Do the wasca dude.

So at least you'll be like, oh, whoa. You know, oh, shit. I'm going to die in sweatpants. Yeah. And then while you're dying in sweatpants, you're like, I remember when I went to South America,

just to know that I was going to die through this. What was the point of that fucking trip? Yeah. I remember when I had to go with my dad. My dad's friend was dying.

He like sent us all the going with him. He was literally just swept. He actually would do tidy bodies. He was just wasting dude away. Oh.

He'd like to get some sort of cancer.

“And he would just watch Westerns with him.”

He would sit there and be like, the whole time. It was the dude fucking rules. He would not like a man do just Westerns in his tidy bodies. The last day. Yeah.

We mean, my brother would make him weed coconut oil and just like bring it to him. That's nice. I'd have to go make some of that shit. You don't want me to make it. Thank you.

Thank you. He would just munch. He would just fucking munch weed coconut oil. Watch Clint Eastwood do his thing. Final days.

I like that's a man. That's a good way to go. That's a sick way to go. Doesn't he bother to put pants on? Yeah.

He's not hell no dude. There's also. Damn. It was scary.

The first time I went through his house when he like peaked through the boys.

Oh yeah. Oh. Looks like. What's it called? The guy from the first season.

True detective. Yes. Yes. Yeah. That was chill though.

I'm still thinking about. Wow. Wow. We can. I just say I would just personally getting kidnapped as an adult is really funny.

Yeah. I had another loose relative that was involved in a pizza guy. Stronger and robbery plot. He got eventually caught. He was the Batman.

He would wield the bat. - Yeah, the pizza. - Pizza's on the ground. - He's on the ground. - He's on the ground.

- He's called the bottom of the-- - The bottom of the ground. - One of these dude I don't have the bat. The Louisville ready to give me all your money on you. And the Zaw.

Of course. (laughing) They had a nice little thing going, and they got busted eventually. - They kept barking in the drivers.

- You barking. They were threatening to barking in the box. - I don't think they ever barked. Well, they're gonna yab it to have a deer, the driver.

(laughing) Such a, that's a sick hustle. - It, you eat it. - Order Zaw. - Which you held a club point?

- Okay, that's a primal fear. - Dude, it was crazy. - I'll be honest with you. - Well, point, I was just kind of like guys. I'll leave, like you don't have to--

- Oh, so that's a shitty squad. - If they're robin' people with clubs. - Yeah, dude. - Dude, you guys are definitely gonna do it. You guys will do it.

(laughing) - The club guy, go on. It's like there's like six of you. I mean, you guys can just beat my ass. - Yeah.

- Of course, if all six of you beat my ass, there's just six guys and one guy at the club,

“like we'll fucking bash your brain in the club, right?”

(laughing) - My house is literally like two blocks away, I was like, yeah, that's suck, that's suck though, just sitting in West Philly for like an hour by myself and a really bad neighborhood being like,

should it become a back of these porcusents? - There's like a street fighter level though. - You're like a double dragon. - Just walking out like a shitty town. - I got six bad guys with sleeveless--

- I didn't even want to my friends to send back to back to me and do a spin kick, to knock them down. (laughing) - But yeah, that was,

that's suck, the one time I remember I took way too much mushrooms in college and I like walked into like, a really fucked up area of West Philly to get out of my house and just seen like the dilapidated houses and it was like, ah, it was, it was a lot.

- Yeah. - Really scary. It's really menacing and scary. - You still at West Philly, Boo. - Still in West Philly, it still looks. - Yeah.

(laughing) - Moving from North to West Philly to West Philly. - Yeah. (laughing) - Moving from North to West Philly to West Philly.

- Moving from North to West Philly to West Philly to West Philly. - I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, where else is now? - It's not West Philly, yeah. - It's not West Philly, yeah. - But where is, yeah, immediately they find me. - Someone's the last time you were victimized.

Was it just the bike theft?

- How did the bike theft go down? - Was that it? - He came up on one bike. - He came up on the city bike. - Oh, it was the city bike.

- Yeah, or like whatever the Philly is. - Yeah, yeah. - He came up on the city bike and like. - Got you won't do that. - It was like a comedy area.

- It was like a comedy area. - It was a pirate. - It was actually a pirate. - It was a pirate. - Yeah.

(laughing) - It was really black bears. (laughing) - Yeah, and then he pulled up on you. - Yeah, he pulled up on me.

- Took the bike. - He's just like grab it. - Yeah.

- No, he was like, he first started trying to ask me like,

“how much, who's like, how much did you pay for the bike?”

And I was like, all right, this is, I gotta go. - Yeah. - I was like, I'm not gonna. - He's just doing like Kelly Blue Book for bikes. - Yeah, he's curious.

- He turned out it's free. (laughing) - Yeah, for you. - Oh, my friend. - Oh, my friend.

(laughing) - Do you hop off there? - He was how much of it. - Yeah, he literally become a fucking Muslim oil salesman. - For you, my friend?

(laughing) - I take it. - Yeah. - The bike is free. - What are you with?

- I love city bike. (laughing) - That was a nice thing, after he took my bike. - Yeah, the city bike. - He pointed to the city bike and he was like,

you can have that one. - That was like right. - Well, I can't have that one. - I did ride that home. - That's nice.

- That was kind of chill of him that day ago.

- It was like, it was like, thoughtful enough to be like,

you got wheels still. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't get down yourself. You still have wheels for a little bit. - Right. There was a guy, look, I didn't get nothing happened,

but there was a guy last night that was like, really power walk in my direction. - What? - Where were you? - Yeah, true.

- I was walking on Congress Avenue for like a while. - I guess that's my fault. - If you come here. - I would. - It's just gonna be Northfully Westfilly Austin.

You're gonna be getting J-Spot Pirates. Pirates Damien. - That's gonna be a J-Spot Pirates Damien. - This guy was like one of the, he was like the, remember this two guys from Pirates of the Caribbean

who were like trying to trick him. He was like, he was so dirty and shirtless. (laughing) - He was coming for you. - He was coming for you.

He was coming for everybody. He was just like, I just happened to have like headphones and just, you know, it's prized. - Took off. - Popped up on me.

- Oh, no. - But he had other stuff to do. - Yeah. - He got by me quick. I was like a temporary stop.

- Yeah, yeah. - I've been watching, I watch this one guys videos where they all start with him being like, but it's gonna hit someone like 10 times. He did one where he took a key and like hit a metal plate.

Someone kind of popped up on me the other day. I have my key.

“I was like, dude, is this my chance of freaking out?”

- Would you hit him with a John Wick combo? - I was going to, but he didn't fucking, he just kept moving. - The awesome to hit a homeless guy with a fucking 10 bunch of combo.

(laughing) - I want to get that guy. - He has your time under his eyes. - I'm gonna wear the helmet. Let that guy demonstrate to me.

- You might have taught him on the bum first.

- Yeah. - That'd be nice, yeah. - That'd be nice. - That'd be nice. - I almost got into like a pretzel.

(laughing) (laughing) - They were just like-- - That's what type. - That's true.

- If it was the guy who's sleeping front of the keen to-- - That guy-- - You could pretzel that man. (laughing) - Were you watching that with us?

- No. - The guy who was asleep, it was like-- - He was just literally like a face down a pile of rocks in front of a little keen. - Aw, they came in the welcome album.

- He was like, "Ah, oh no." - He was literally like-- - You know the little keen to-- - Yeah, it was like-- - Right down town?

- Yeah, yeah. - It wasn't right next to the keen.

“- I was just talking to someone who stayed in that”

the other day, they were like, "Dee, my hotel sucks." I mean, like, clean to that, I'm like, "Oh, yeah, dude, that thing's like hell." - Yeah, things are worse.

It's good for the alphabet game on the road though. - Yeah. - It's big for that. - You just the only kid on the road. - Oh, I see. - Oh, that's real.

- Dairy Queen's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, true, true, true." - The X is just where it's at. That's the most impossible. - It's tough. You gotta, yeah.

I feel like a lot of vape shops have helped with the X. There's a lot of the X-press. - Yeah, true. - Porn strip clothes. - Yeah, definitely.

- Yeah. - Yeah, X for smokers world. And then, like, Arabic letters. - Yeah. Yeah, you charged translate them.

I'm pretty sure it's a Muslim X right there X. - That's true. - Yeah, mate. - I started my day today actually just game planning. Like if I was at the park.

And like the, so I'm like weirdo guy. I was like hitting, like, fucking with the kids. How hard did I go on on this? Like, dude, you would fucking love so bad. I do that all the time.

- Yeah. - Rice is a game plan, like, dude, I would fucking hit. - You can't hit. - You can't, you can't, you can't, you can't. You just have to go.

- You just have to go honorably. Obviously, you have to go into battle. But if you get the vanquished by a petta-file in the park and then he gets the kids. - I'm going, well, if I started losing,

I would fight, I would go for privates. I would fight dirty. - He would love. - I would try to written AF, dude. - It's his world.

- If I'm monkey-clawed him, you can go. - Ooh. (laughing) Ooh, baby. - Yeah, maybe be on the ground, buddy.

And now I went and he looked down. - He can get me, yeah. - Now you're my world.

You're one of us. (laughing)

“- Then you joined forces that you go, right?”

- Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, it's like a double cross.

- Yeah, I actually brought a camera. - I have to go to my wife that you have till sundown to destroy me. (laughing) - Do you think there's pets who are watching

these like petta-file hunter videos who are like training to be like, "I can't get foiled and they're like, "just getting buffed." - True. - That's nice.

They probably run in drills in the supermarket just down to the nada. Park left at the banana set. - That's like a control. - Yeah.

- I don't mind, it's got 20 seconds shuttle. This guy's gonna be a great petta-file. (laughing) It's gonna fly out of that Walgreens day. (laughing)

- They probably rewatch at the beginning of the ladden when they steal the apple. - Yes. - Is how they like get through this? - Yes, yeah.

Like build like a two-scale cereal aisle in his house. - Yeah, they gotta start training. - Yeah, they should start training like maybe seals. Like just a complete replicate Walgreens in a warehouse. (laughing)

- That would be a good prank

where you have one of those petta-file hunters.

You like collab with them, but the petta-files aren't even a petta-file. He's like, you know, there's like small jutsu guys who are like nasty as fuck. Like so he doesn't look that imposing,

but they go to get 'em. The guy just petta-file fake petta-file just folds up the dude. - Yeah.

“- You get to pick up what the fuck dude is petta-files being.”

- Betta-file beer. Betta-files being you fucking ass. (laughing) - But then the boy is boy would come with the pumpkin from behind.

(laughing) - The pumpkin, about the petta-file. - Give up the game dude. (laughing) - And is the scariest way to go.

- Get 'em out. - Get 'em out, pumpkin. - Yeah, that's terrifying. - I don't know, I don't know. - I don't know, I don't know.

- I don't know, I don't know. - I don't know, I don't know. - I don't know, I don't know. - I don't know. - Pumpkin on the internet.

- Oh.

- Yeah, you can not, you know,

October to December, you cannot hook it. (laughing) - Yeah, because it's board season. - Yeah, you can't get 'em out. - Yeah, you can get 'em out.

- Yeah, you can get 'em out. - Yeah, you can get 'em out. - That's terrible. - Yeah. (laughing)

- Throw 'em in the air. (laughing) - The value pumpkin. (laughing) - Oh, it is truly, yeah.

They like, it's like going to sit, stay like, take it rolling. (laughing) You guys like moves in. - I saw the one where like a pet of all

got thrown into the air. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that's beautiful. They got hit by 'em.

(laughing) - That's so, that's so exciting. - Yeah, man, that is rough stuff. I mean, I mean, I don't know, man, it's like, those guys are training.

I thought we were talking about it. - True. - I think it's funny whether or not, too. Just if they got the wrong guy once, and they threw 'em in the air

and punched 'em and called him a pet of all of them. And then he didn't want the pumpkin. And it was just a guy that was like, 10 in 10 months for his daughter. - Yeah, he's just a math teacher.

They're like the most at risk for getting a, you know, they look like pet of alls. - Yeah. - Most math teachers do happen to look like pet of alls. - It's true.

“- So you have to be careful, if you're a math,”

if you're a math magician, watch out. - Yeah. - True. - It's like-- - It might be in 1875.

(laughing) - It's like that teacher who shows off his outfits on Instagram. - I don't know. - Oh yeah, he might be like any of that.

- I don't like it either. - I like when a hot girl's doing it and hot girl's doing it. - The hot girl teachers that are like, check out my outfit for today. - What?

- You're gonna fuck one of these kids. - Yeah. - But they're staying a little grade. - Yeah, for real. - You get in the high school, get you.

- My god, man. - Captain of football team. - Try to you can go and go and go and go. - Ooh, yeah, dude. (laughing)

- Oh, this is name. (laughing) - Dude, that joke ain't showin' this so funny. (laughing) - Yeah, dude.

- Man. (laughing) (laughing) - Man, I'm pumped on this bird feeder. - The struggling to set it up right now.

- Did it, George? - I was trying to connect it, yeah. - Yes. - I'm fucking, I couldn't be more stoked. I spent the morning.

I got a come-quattree. - Oh, awesome. - Yo. (laughing) - Did you come watch?

- Yeah, I did. (laughing) - Come-quattree climbs in an avocado tree. - It's nice. - I got peach and lemon coming forward.

- Avocados trees. - Right, yeah. - I can't wait. - Yeah. - And with avocado tree, I won't probably yield anything.

Maybe this winter I'll get a couple. There are Mexican avocados, so they're hardy to the cold. There's a cold snap, a fucking avocado tree up with these things. They can take a little cold. - Cool.

- Sub 23. You know, if I got in the pots, I'm going to move them in, no problem, but. (laughing) - Dude, I spent the whole morning getting these things,

and I thought it was like 9 a.m. but he's like, dude, it's 11. You gotta leave. - Yeah. - Leave me a shower.

I'm covered in fucking dirt. - I saw that. - Yeah, I saw it about that. - It makes sense. - I saw it about that.

Yeah, I'm pretty dirty right now. - I don't care at all. - Every time I shower, I just saw it on your ankles, I was like, what, he's been doing. - You're in the field. - He was in the field.

- Playing for a treat doesn't even feel like it's solved.

- Yeah, that was the guy I was seeing. - Yeah, that was the guy I was seeing. - Yeah, that was the guy I was seeing. (laughing) - That's great.

“- I saw that, I was like, you know, it's me basically.”

It's just for me, he did this for me. - Yeah. - He did that video for me. - Sure.

- Finally some representation.

- Super Bowl half time show. - Yeah, that would be nice. - Well, last representation was the old rappers. - That was awesome. - That was a good representation.

- That was good, that was awesome. - 50 was a little, little, big. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughing) - The guy at the top's like, he just went crazy.

(laughing) - That he says it's been a little quiet. He was like, I mean, he's obviously still doing the same, but he was like, he was the dude for he was good. - He was good like two month run where he did the right thing

though. - He went away for a little while. - Yeah, yeah, he chilled. - That's the, what is he cooking up? Who's next?

- Didn't he say LeBron? - No. - Didn't he post something about LeBron? - Yeah. - But he was like, I have a document or whatever.

- Do you think he becomes black? - Hello. - Gonna be crazy. (laughing) (laughing)

He just sucked a crack here before. (laughing) - The man, nobody's safe. - If he gets LeBron, that's wild. - Yeah, that would be.

- That's just what I hate looking at it up right now 'cause Nate loves LeBron. - LeBron is LeBron. - LeBron might be the zest lord, he might be the zest lord. I used to hate LeBron, but now he's, he's too undeniable.

- Yeah, he's bad happens. - Yeah, he's like... - He's day, Tom Brady, and then he gets to a point where you're like, "Well, this is awesome." - Yeah.

- Kind of the best effort for a few years. And if you hate greatness, you just hate it. Matt, please read the highlighted lines of a betem. - And now it's time for this week in dog history, presented by Orra Frame, so they got a little thing here.

This is nice. You know, some memories are just waiting to make you laugh. Years later? - No, yeah. - It's exactly what Orra Frame's do.

- To take the moments that matter and turn them into something, you can actually see every day. - Oh yeah. - You know what's overflowing with hilarious moments, waiting to be revisited?

- This bag, yeah. - So let's take a walk down Mary Lane. - Yeah, I'll wait.

“- What's the strangest recording set up we've ever had?”

- Matt, remember that one? - What's the strangest recording set up you've ever had? - When they had like a buzz in it, they were so cute. A wild moment that becomes a story, oh, it's still. - What's the wild moment?

- Never my wife came to laser-dag and she was mad at me.

- Yeah, I love telling that story. - I'll always tell that story. - What's happening in the photo? - The photo is just too good friends. - Got a gulf event.

- Yeah, we were out and we took a picture together. I was a little boy to get a picture of my two heroes. - No, yeah. Was there something totally off the rails happening behind the scenes?

- Oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - You wouldn't believe it was going on behind the scenes of that photo. It's not even public.

- Guys, moments like these funny chaotic are just plain weird or exactly what all our frames are built for. - This is exactly what they're built for. - Unlimited photo and video storage pre-loaded messages

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“the best selling car for Matt Frame with code, MSSP.”

Support the show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply. - Thank you, I went down a Pat Tilman hole here. - Fifty. - Brad and the Brown.

- You know he got an offer to leave the cardinals before he signed up to be in the military. And they're gonna pay him like a bunch of money. Whoever had won the Super Bowl, I guess like after the first year he played,

was like yeah, we're gonna give you a ton of money come to our team, like championship team, might do it again. What is what it's tell me to? Not bro, Cardinals picked me.

I was a little around the draft that took a chance on me, I'm staying with the Cardinals. Went to war. It was such a beast. They offered to get him out of the military.

He did one year tour and they're like yo man, we like set it up with the government. You're free to come home now. He goes, bro, it's a slap in my fucking face. He'd even offer me that.

Such an adult dude is the fucking man. They didn't date friendly fire. Yeah, friendly fire. And there was a fuck, what was it? An Afghani soldier that apparently loved him.

That like ran up the hill with him. 'Cause his little brother was serving with him too. So his little brother was under fire. So he like ran up the hill. And then an Afghani soldier ran up as well.

He got killed, no one talked about that guy. But yeah, he ran up there too. He got hit a bunch of times. And apparently they invented a story about a woman soldier getting raped.

That's the statue. Yeah, is that the statue? Well, that's the picture that they use for the statue. Statues fucking tight, you ever see it? No.

Did they put it in the... Toman fucking rule? Yeah, that's really cool. Yeah, the Pat Tillman's music. He was a fun.

The Pat Tillman fun started because people to start it sending all this money to the Arizona Cardinals being like, this is for Pat Tillman.

And they got like a million bucks and they called his family.

The fuck should we do with this?

Yeah. He's like, we'll just set up the fun.

“They send soldiers to school or like, the master's degrees”

and stuff. Yeah, Pat Tillman, true American hero. Yeah. I interviewed John Crack Hour recently. That's right.

And I got to go to books on Tillman. I did it really. Yeah, we got to talk to Tillman. Speaking of another... Hello.

Yeah. Dude. Yeah, it's soman. Fucking sick. Legend.

Man, it's good. It's an absolute legend. Yeah, dude, I interviewed John Crack Hour like two days ago. He has, we climb out Everest and like there was a disaster. All these guys died.

He survived, wrote a book and it's like a huge book. And dude, he has a guy on his ass. There's a YouTuber, anti John Crack Hour YouTuber, which is like, dude, climbs Everest. What's your beef? Guys like, there's all these different faces of Everest.

This other guy climbed a different face of Everest. And he's just going through all of Crack Hour's book being like, cap, cap, none of this happened. And dude, like, it's blowing up. Crack Hour had a fire back about it.

Dude, I was telling him, like, dude, I know this guy's like really opinion your ass. But it was nothing that delighted me more than to see you have a fucking nasty dude.

I just never would expect to see that.

You have an a guy being like, bullshit, the sheriffs don't drop the rope lines on that pass the mountain. Dude, get out of here. I know. I guess it's just like every, every creative or any pursuit has a guy now who goes on YouTube

and is annoying. Because his book did so well that another climber wrote a book after that and just had it kind of be like, yo, fuck it, he's fucking bullshit. It's so funny. This is his book called.

He did into the wild. That was the guy who just like walked off and died in the wild. There was into thin air. That was the other one. I got both of those.

Do you really? Yeah. Dude, he was, he did the Pat Tellman book where men get glory and then he did a book about that. That's sick. Yeah, it's pretty tiny.

He did a book about Mormons, like Piligimus, Milton Mormons. So, yeah. Yeah, he's a man. He's retired now. He's no more.

He just lives in Boulder. Stay's at out of tune. I'm so jealous of people. Stay out of tune. Dude.

I work out. I'm like, if I go to like Denver and we're like, that's like five thousand feet. I do like one workout and I come back and I'm like, you don't definitely all through. This is crazy. Oh yeah.

It's funny. You do that. I have like five beers and I go, oh shit. I'm wasted out the dudes. Not.

Yeah, it would be nasty when I go home and get dry skin and a bloody nose. You know, the sucks. I'm dying. My butt is dying here. Dude, I'm like a snake.

My skin is cracked. Yeah, I go up there. It's crazy. But yeah, I didn't know when you climb Everest. So you go to base camp for two weeks.

You acclimate. I thought you'd just like roll up and climb the fucking mountain. No, you climb a little bit, come back down, climb a little more, come back. So you're like constantly getting acclimated to higher and higher parts.

The first face of Everest that you climb for more heated is just a giant sheet of ice.

That slowly can shift and start moving and every now and again it will just stand up and just walk, I can just like the size of a house just squash you. He was a 600 person to climb. I'm just giving away the whole thing. He was a 600 person to climb Everest or like 637.

It was so scary. It was like so fucked up. He wrote that book, hoping to scare people away from trying to do it. 30 years later, get so many people have climbed Mount Everest. How many?

Dude, like 25,000 people. Yeah. His book did the opposite. Everyone was like, dude, he says he goes to signings, people look at him. You climb Everest.

I could fucking do that. I've seen, I just watched the documentary on it and there's just a line of people climbing. 100 people in it, yeah, but if one of those glacial kind of deposit things falls, now that it's so crowded, it's just going to squash like these people.

“Yeah, he said now, the sherpers are like, dude, this is the best thing that ever happened.”

Oh, yeah, they probably get to say lines of, yeah, it's just going up there. Make a ton of money. Yeah. Selfie wall at the Mount Everest. There is.

I watched the Chinese guy fall off. Recently. Yeah. It really slid right off, talking to selfie. Yeah, but people still die.

Like a lot of people still die climbing Everest. It's a slowly slid off. I don't know if it just watches him slide away. Did you go off? Fuck.

You're toast. Yeah. If you don't get those, you need those oxygen tanks and you get super high, and if, like, if you're out of tanks, you just stuff like you talk about, what's it, what do they get? It's like, it's like the altitude in hypothermia where you get hallucinations.

No, I didn't know about that. Yeah, they see things before they die. Yeah, it's like your dying. I figured what to say. It's not the black dog.

Is it? Maybe. Dang. That's crazy. That's pretty tight.

Yeah. I got that was, I also learned, I've been reading about Gold Rush, Colorado.

“You know, there was a big cannibal, or, yeah, that's what I said.”

Cannibal. I was like, there was like a prolific cannibal that, like, haunted the hills in Colorado for a while. He was much and dude, much and saddled with that wild. That was a crazy idea.

So many of you have a deer and wildlife there. No, he just got a taste. He's one of the people. One of the people. He wanted those gold miners, dude.

He was a bunch of them. Yeah.

He was in the hills outside of Lake Peak. It ever was like, bro, I'm pretty sure my wife got much. I mean, this is crazy.

I've never heard of this.

Yeah, look, it looked up a pretty much.

“Look up Colorado cannibal, I think it was like the 17 hunters.”

Was he, it's like the leadville silver boom, I believe. Sounds like a name from that era too. He's like, William something, but yeah, he was munching. Alfred, okay, Alfred granted, did he, did he just like that? That too was.

Did he just like turn into a cannibal someday? I don't know what to do. I just, I just like, I never fully got into his thing yet, but he, he was munching. It is like a funny thing. How many people say he got?

Maybe he's unknown. Yeah, he was munching. Sound of the Colorado is crazy. It looks like he might have had the munching. He had to munch.

Looks like a little. Oh. I could be getting some Colorado folklore. Yeah, five. Oh my god.

He came back. That. Oh, so we had munch. Because he was on the loose. I feel like they had to like catch him at some point.

And munched.

Oh, he, so he was up there hiding.

And there's a snowstorm. He caught some guys that were stuck in it. And he munched. Boys, I'm hungry. Oh my god.

Yes. Oh, boy. You know what time it is. It's time for the help with the butter. This is so much fun to hear about better.

Oh, you butter. The help with the butter. One thing that's been keeping me up at night. Hmm. What's keeping you up at night, Matt?

What's been keeping me up at night? I had nothing honestly. I sleep like a fucking brick. But I do. I pass out in a second.

Why are you worried about it? Well. You know what's keeping me up at night? My lack of deep sleep. I don't get a lot of deep sleep.

But, you know, I don't know. I don't know other than that. My kids keep me up. Or I have to pee. I lay down in bed sometimes.

And I think of really funny cool jokes. And then I don't write them down. I wake up at night. Yeah. Then Matt keeps me up the next night.

But guys, news flash. Nobody has all the answers, okay? And since it's, I don't know if you knew this. It's mental health awareness month. Oh, nice.

It's the perfect time to remind you that you don't have to tackle your problems alone. No.

“You can catch with a therapist from better help and get the help you need to navigate stress,”

anxiety, burnout, and more. They have an industry-leading match fulfillment rate. You just need to answer a few questions. Then they'll tell her a list of professional therapists you can connect with. I really like that.

Matt, you don't have to be on this channel. Okay. You need to find support and have someone with you in therapy. Matt, I want you in therapy. Now sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/mssp.

That's better at HELP.com/mssp. Better help the help with the better. Uh, five, 16 guys. Riviera Theater, Chicago, Illinois. I will be there.

May 16th. I will be there. Get there. That'll be really nice. I don't know if there's a lot of tickets left.

Guys, just be serious. And I've once a new date's coming out pretty soon. That all announced. So pretty stoked. I know I'll be in Miami.

Oh. Oh. Oh. There's me in the tent. And the Miami Tans will be there.

There's fucking Dases. Uh, May 4th. I'll be at the Hollywood Bowl in LA. Please come to that. I've got very good special guests on that.

Uh, May 7th, 8th, 9th. I'm at TD Garden in Boston. Unless, damn Celtics. We'll see. Ah, come on, Texas.

Come on. Six years. Do this. So I can have my shows. Uh, and then yeah, the July 17th at the link.

Please. Please come. That one's going to be crazy. So awesome.

“Even if you think I suck, you should go to that.”

Yeah. Those Colorado Tans do. They were crazy. Cause like, there would be a town of like, a hundred people. And they would be like, yeah, there's gold in the hills.

And then instantly, the town will turn into a hundred thousand people. Yeah. And no one really got a lot of gold from the gold rush. And it would just turn into like the worst place ever. Everyone's just disciplined and pissed.

That's incredibly well. Add altitude too. So I'll get enamored quicker. Be like, what the fuck. Yeah.

Oh, shit. What the shit. It's good to hear us whisky. Just not looking for gold and just want to attack people and eat them. Yeah, true.

Oh, my God. Oh, this. Yeah. They were also mean to the engines and Colorado. They did some bad stuff.

Yeah. I mean, the dumbest guys on earth showed up. Yeah. San Creek. I think San Creek was like, it was just women and children.

This guy's famous thing was, uh, because they were like, there's like, there's like, there's not even braves to check it out. It's all women and children. And the one dude goes, nits make a list. We got to take him out and this one just murdered the children.

Oh, my God. They ran for office. Yeah. Brutal. Brutal stuff.

It's about you. I'm really tapping everything I've read about in the last. I like that. I. But yes, silver boom, gold boom, Colorado stuff.

You know, I've never really thought about it.

That was, I was reading about that pretty sick. Isn't that like the same era as like the deadwood TV show?

Like people, it's like moving out.

It's like the 1840s. Yeah. I think it was pre-seval. Yeah. Pre-seval.

Yeah. Pre-seval. Whether the 49ers. Yeah. There we go.

Hey, now. It's good way to remember it. I like that. It's about $49. There we go.

Yeah. It's the 49ers. Who do you guys do in that era?

“Like, if you were alive, like, for a profession?”

Godfaring farmer. What's that farming farmer? Yeah. Godfaring farmer. Godfaring farmer.

Call it. Hey. No, I don't know. God knows. She would suck.

It looks terrible. You know, fucking factory. Yeah. I would be the... He's coast, you know, shitty factory.

Sharpened the fucking... Yeah. We're talking about a pack packed up.

Move it out there for that guy.

Oh, Wes? Yeah. James. I guess you have an nice general story. No, you're talking like I'm good.

You're a priori. Yeah. You're saying I'm a U.S. And I understand. I would work the front desk.

And then the word break out. God calls me to lead this army. All the other guys were being posted. Dude, I was getting wasted. Where can I have a fucking general story?

I'm... It's time to get wasted on the battlefield. Yeah. The... the allegation that he was wasted at trial. It was great.

So time. He woke up late to the battle. Because he was drunk as fuck. Oh. That's funny.

Oh, shit. The words do today. Oh. Shit. They're here.

And like, sir, we should retreat. I fucked that. Fuck that. Fucking killies, posties. Oh.

Everyone died. I agree. That's not the hot face. Fuck that. It's the scariest guy.

Dude, that... Yeah. tornado documentary showed me... It's tough one.

“Dude, that guy waking up with a hang of vicious hangover and being like,”

Yeah. I think there's a tornado. It should be a check it out. Hangover. I missed that one.

I missed that one. It was an F5. Fuck. Fuck. You hear the audio the whole time?

Oh. Also, everyone on that town, that gets interviewed. It was like... I was ready to go. Yeah.

I thought you were good. It's very... They just interviewed everyone to just kind of a weird Christian. Yeah. So they all come off as very homosexual.

Well, the one guy is... And the one guy, yeah. At least one. Yeah. The one guy being like...

At one point I was ready. I let go because I thought it was the rapture. And then like, since he didn't get sucked up in the hurricane, he goes, "Tah, it's 'cause I'm gay, isn't it?" And he went home.

But he luckily his parents were still alive because his parents got sucked up. He would've been like, "Oh, yeah. Okay. That was the rapture. And he was like, "I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

So I was... He's the ground like that much and then he dropped back there. I'm like, "God damn it!" Shit. 'Cause he was young.

So he probably barely did that much gay stuff. No, but he knew. Yeah. He did a lot of gay stuff. She was making YouTube videos with the other girls in school.

That's gayer than sexual the guy. So the YouTube guy was different. Oh. That was a different bro. He got your guy.

The chubby YouTuber. Yeah. He made YouTube, too. Not the cool YouTube guy. Cool YouTube guy.

I didn't know he did that man. It was making YouTube. God, she got you. I didn't know that. I did like the joke.

He was just like, "Yeah. This one girl came up to me out of the wreckage." He was like, "Hey, what are you doing?" He was like, "I didn't recognize her. I didn't know she was.

She knew me, but I did. It's like this. Stop man. It's not chatting around. You can't do it.

It's chatting in the row. You can't chat in the row. He was chatting in the row. He was at rescue in people. He was like, "Yeah, what do you?" and he was like, "Yeah, even though we're doing so."

That used to be your house. Damn, that's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like fucked up. Shit. Yeah. Yeah, documentary is terrifying. It's really scary.

And then there's like the fungus thing that happens afterwards. It's really scary to me. I forgot about the fungus, dude. That freaked me out. Yeah.

And that looked like a kid. Yeah. And then it's like, you get sucked up. And then you're like, "Thank God, I survived." And then the bacteria...

Almost kills you. Yeah, that's really fucked up. Don't be whammy. Yeah. It's like creative jerk, bro.

I knew it got me. Thankfully, thankfully, I wasn't invested in it this time.

First time I watched it, I was sobbing at the end.

And then Obama comes along and you're like, "Damn Obama." Yeah. That was a cool speech fuck. It was such a good speech.

“I think I said this the last time I talked about this.”

Really? But just comparing it to if Trump was president. Oh, man. You had a big storm. Oh.

You guys are great though. Yeah. That's all right. Get 'em out of here. And we're doing a lot right now for the economy.

You just feel like, "Yo, I'm killing it right now." Someone say the economy's in there five right now. Yeah. He's had some good ones lately though. That's easy fire back up.

Very funny. Yeah. That's easy. He had one recently. I'm trying to remember it.

Did you see the shooter? I didn't see the shooter. Yeah. Bro. He like made it again.

He's rings the security man. That first ring is so bad. Got through. Shout the secret service guy. Did he shoot a guy?

Shout the secret service guy.

The guy had an armored best on or whatever. He called it in his manifesto. Did he? Yeah. He said I'm going to use like,

a box shot or like, he was like, that way if they're wearing armor, I don't have to kill anyone. But he's like, I'm trying not to kill anyone. I'm just trying to kill Trump. Oh, okay.

Yeah. So he was like, you did him with the sun gun all the way up to Trump. He was trying, yeah. Bring out the James Bond golden pistol. [laughter]

[laughter] He's got me. He's got me. He's got me. [laughter]

Yeah. He said everybody else won't chat. He'd be seven. Golden gun. [laughter]

How did he, did you just like break in? They just Neruda right through. [laughter] He literally sprinted through. Arms back, nerd run, nerd run, right through. Yeah.

Yeah, that's-- Sorry to tell you now. It's like, that might be like a high ranking FBI official. [laughter] Yeah, that's exactly how they would all run.

[laughter] This entire administration wouldn't Neruda.

“What do you think about cash getting in trouble for drinking?”

Well, cash is under-- he's like under investigation for how hard he's hit the bruskies. He's claiming he's not hitting the bruskies. So one thing I supported him. [laughter]

Let the boy hit the bruskies. [laughter] All Indian dudes want to do his have bruskies with the bruskies with the bruskies. You saw how happy he was in that hockey lock. He really was.

Yeah, I was literally the Indian dream. He's scared. He's stressed. And honestly, I really, I didn't like all the, like, imagine how bad that shocked when he rolls up to that.

It's like, you think they give a fuck. They just won and Stanley got up with the Olympics. Yeah. They're fucking stoked. And then you're like, "Holy fuck, there's cash retail."

[laughter] The shock gunning of beer is awesome. Yeah. I remember not liking that footage of a coverage of like, it's like, dude, he's doing one thing cool.

He doesn't have everything has to be bad all the time. Yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's a, they struggle with that. Yeah, it's like, dude, it's a sick. We made the arch as sick that Trump wants to build. Who's the arch?

It's just trying to build a sick ass arch. Dude, we're there. Give us a fucking arch. Where is it? In Washington.

It's going to be sick. Go on, arch will be tight. Not gold. Just don't think. That's 2047 actually like that.

It's just a big M. [laughter] That's right, dude. That's hard. [laughter]

Sick ass arch, DZ. [laughter] It came up, obviously. That's awesome. Trump's a victory arch.

Let's go, let's go.

Well, that yes, they're win first.

Right. It would be tight. We stopped building sick shit. Yeah, that's true.

“And they don't like it because it's Trump dog,”

but are they just like a 3D rendering? Yeah. It's cool. It's like Washington Square Park. Yes.

I was thinking that was a Lewis thing. Oh. That's nicer. It's like, yeah. We should be like arch if you win.

If he wins, I ran. You get the arch. If he doesn't win, he gets the loser arch. And they're going to put him up there. Just going like, yeah, that's going to be it.

If he puts himself on the arch amount. But if the arch is just America's sick. Yeah, I like it. That'd be tight. Well, he's going to have his names going to be somewhere on there.

Definitely. It's just no way. It's not what his name is. I don't know. He's going to put that shit on there somewhere.

Yeah, but hopefully he puts everyone on the wall. You know, like Abraham Lincoln has like, like, get his burger dress. It'll be one of Trump's speeches. It'll be like, she's a fat bitch. Fat bitch shut up.

It'd be nice to have the LED belt buckles. And it's like, just across the top. It's like all his top insults. Yeah, I mean, you know, I haven't heard much about that. Yeah.

I haven't heard much about that. Really. Quite a piggy. Quite a piggy. Just him is like a chorubic kind of Greek thing.

Like a pig lady and him being like, if he got a funny. Arch is sick. Arch does look sick. That's fucked. Yeah, it does look nice.

And I agree with you.

“We should start building cool news statues.”

Yeah. We do need cool stuff. Yeah. But stuff. Who's it?

It's tough to agree now. Back in the day, it was like consensus. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, well, we should do one of the ladies that clean the mall.

And you're like, yeah. Okay. I'm cool. I'm the ladies who clean the mall. Stad you awesome.

All right. We're all stoked. There they are. Yeah. It's statue of Sherman and Central Park.

I always go, hey, homage to it.

That's awesome. We need this. Yeah. We used to have cool shit. Yeah.

It's so sick. That's tough. That is great. Some cities still have it. I wish I knew more about like the,

Oh, symbology of like horses. Two hooves are up. It's weird up. Yeah. I mean, I like that stuff.

They tell you that. It's pretty exciting. Yeah. There's a couple statues that don't follow it. What?

Yeah. Knock 'em down. I'm going to topple them. Yes. I'll be out there with the ropes.

You topple them. I'll bring sandals. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah.

I mean, yeah. Again, who knows? I keep. I keep. I'm being a.

Every new thing I see. I get the new reality. Like we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality.

So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality.

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So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality.

So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality.

So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality.

So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality.

So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality.

So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality.

So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. So we're in the new reality. I'm not going. Yeah.

I'm curious who does. Some people will go. People already went and we'll go back. Because I already was stood the storm. Yeah.

But yeah, mid-wars crazy. That is a wild one. Mid-wars will be nuts. That's like.

“But then you get to feel like 50 cent performing in your hockey during, you know?”

I mean, it's face. Yeah. Well, that's what I mean. It's like they'll. People who go will be like, yeah.

It's pretty crazy over there. So you're not. You're not 50. I'm going to do it. I would do a thing where I would go like.

I'm going to perform for the troops. But then go to the US government. Like, yeah, you got a matchery. I was paid back. If I wanted.

Yeah. That's. Got some because of a $7 trillion budget.

You got some pay me $2 million.

Stop complaining. All right. You be. That's actually a good idea. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, there was a. I know somebody who does like technology sales and they said when they. Deal with the like the military.

Yeah. There's some weird thing where like the order the wrong thing. But if it's on a military base, they have to destroy it. No matter what. So there's like millions of dollars of like in Peter equipment.

And since instead of just returning it, so it can be reused. They're like, we have to destroy this now. Reorder. It's pretty crazy. It's like nothing.

They'll be like dude. Whatever. This is what it is. This is protocol. Yeah.

It can't get in their own hands.

“They take it out back and just office space it.”

They pay the Indian guys. Yeah. They go. Yeah. Yeah.

That the Madagascar thing. You're just living next to a river of shit. Literally a river of sewage. Yeah. That every day is rising.

You're like, yeah. It's going to be my sock. Please fix it. I know. That bothered me so much.

Yeah. That's it. Don't do anything else. No soccer today, fellas. Sam back day.

We're gathering sandbags to put along the shit river. And we're doing that every day until somebody fucking starts digging of trench somewhere. Yeah. That would also be like, by the way. Because it's like like 10 feet.

There's a fence. And then there's really nice houses. Yeah. I saw that. They're going to start.

Yeah. They're going through that fence. Yeah.

After my third summer of the shit flood.

Like a. And no one's helping with plumbing. Yeah. It's time to go over the wall. Yeah.

It's like there's like a. Yeah. Like a Chinese diplomat. Yeah. And his wife.

So yeah. I'm going to go eat them. Yeah. Like I'm pissed off. Yeah.

It's time to fight. Yeah. It's time to infiltrate this. Do your thing. At least get in the pool.

True. That is good. Just washing off the shit. And we go pool hopping at night. Good shot.

Yeah.

“Can I just watch the shit off my family, please?”

It's all I'm trying to make. My family's covered in shit right now. And you have a pool. And I like to just wash the shit off me. The chlorine will actually kill the shit.

Then you see a chlorinate that river. There you go. Oh. A chlorine bubble. That would help.

And then the skin. A little bit. Yeah. Chunky. That's a lot of gators.

It's like that. That's a gator pool. And once my suit and season comes. The gators get a little. Super dome.

Yeah. Yeah.

Madagascar was not as bad India took the cake.

“That was just dudes and like little like tiny courtyard.”

So you're writing a plastic. There's just not a free inch of. No. It's everything is used. Yeah.

Noble. But two crowded for me. No. Dude, the two go hot curry plastic bags. I forgot about that.

I fucked me up dude. There's just 40 bags on the floor. It's just like their ghost kitchens over there. Just 40 fucking bags of steaming hot curry. It's a plastic thing.

Yeah. It's like a plastic bag. And then it's like soup. It's like the hot soup. And they just pour it in.

And that was a good job. Yeah. Oh, these jobs we solved. Yeah. I said in Indian style.

Yeah. I am jealous when I see them. How they can just chill on a floor like that. I'm like damn. I can never.

My hip flexors are way too tight. My hip flexors are purely western from some Indian chairs. Yeah. I like that. Yeah.

It's nice to know to be like.

I'm not meant for. I'm supposed to be sitting in a chair man. Yeah. Yeah. I'm supposed to be sitting in chair.

Some were called as civilized. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the only one I know. I want to go to India.

I want to go. Yeah.

“While we were watching Mad was like, I want to go to India.”

I want to go to India so bad. I think you'd like it spiritually. Yeah. I think it's sick. I think that spirituality.

We get the fuck out the window. It was 150 degrees. Yeah. I've heard. I've heard people have gone there.

And it's like. I knew a woman who went there. And she said it was like. I was scared. Yeah.

Her friends got off in a dude. We'll just like grab you like come here. Yeah. Yeah. There's a certain hotel.

They're like, where are you going? They don't want you. It's fucked up. Yeah. It's really, really.

Yeah. You get it. Then the bros come. There was one time. There was.

I think I've talked about this before. But the person I knew was there with her friend. And she said they were like looking at a thing. And the tour guide was like, we have to go right now. There's just a dude.

Packed dude. It didn't visit this catch. Like, send my unbuttoned shirt. Like, you know, we have to leave these guys. They're going to rape you.

We have to leave. So I got it. But I don't think. Yeah, me. You need to collect.

Yeah. They might be clubbed up too though. They definitely have clubs. There's a club. I don't know.

Yeah. How come you clubbed? Damn. Yeah. I remember like, Dan, that sucks.

Middle management meeting, coming this way. No. It's all the guys from the office. I mean, if you get done grinding plastic for 12 hours. That's true.

And then you. Some white bitches here on a fucking spiritual journey. You're going to pay for your choices. You're going to pay for your choices. You're going to pay for your choices.

You're going to see like a fucking catcher for 12 hours. Separating plastics into a fucking wood chipper. Yeah. I've taken apart like six engines. They are killing it on fucking tick-tock.

And, uh, yeah. And you brothers are coming up with a good shit. Yeah. I like that guy. They are very funny.

Yeah. Third world privilege. Your video is kind of slap. Yeah. Yeah.

If you're third world, you get a smartphone.

Everyone's like, let me see. I need to see what the hell is going on right now. Pretty tight. It is crazy those villages that go from like, no electricity. Just smartphones.

I know. And just like, yo, here's like, that would be, do you looking through a screen at like, an upper middle class sub or a new jersey?

“And the third world you might be, you must just be like, do what the fuck.”

Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck is that? It's like, it's got to be crazy. It's like a hallucination.

It really does. That's like, wait, where's your shit river? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Our shit river runs underground. It's like you get an ad with like a woman in it. And then it's just immediately. It's like, come here.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now.

Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to fight that reserve as a Westerner. I know. Yeah.

You understand the technology. Yes. There'd be. I might just got Instagram. I was looking at girls pictures.

I'm like, come. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Take your shirt off.

Yeah. Take your shirt off. I think a burden of mirror. I'd be like, no, I didn't hear that. Let's be in.

There's like a couple guys that I used to do open mics with that are like, they're just American guys. But they're like, they've just lost it. And they're just on Twitter. It's just women being like, you know, here's a workout thing and just good morning.

Hi. It's like, I took a picture of it. There's a lady. It's like, you're trying to fuck this picture with a little dick. And then he was like, good morning.

Hi. It's me. I just fought. He just used to, I don't know. Yeah.

Good morning. My algorithms. Yeah. I'm getting the hot paves again. Yeah.

And I'm getting so good. I mean, it's like geogacer. I'm good. I can see the. I can see the background of a hot chick's picture.

Oh, that's why my British.

Oh, Nashville. I mean, they're only in five spots. Yeah. So in Miami, Nashville, LA, Australia.

“And, uh, well, as you know, and I just said, England's tossing something.”

Nashville. Yeah. England. Yeah. They can toss some babes out.

Very classical babes. London is like a fashion capital. Yeah. Yeah. New York babes out.

Yeah. They're more like, they're more stylish. Yeah. True. I'm talking about the.

I could hit with a super style of my eight pens. Nashville 10. Bravo. Australia 10. Australia 10s are wild.

I just super stylish, babe. Get into my elevator today. I just, I do feel like it. It's a crazy pointy super shoes. Weird tight, but loose dress pants, smelled like absolute heaven.

Yeah. It came in. I just looked at the floor. I literally looked at the floor. I just went.

Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's.

I'll just skip my.

We dirty when she got in the elevator.

Huh? We dirty when that happens. Yeah. I was talking looked like this. I was covered in dirt.

I said, let's see. Walk there. Yeah. In the fields. Yeah.

Didn't even usually. Usually I'm like, pretty.

“You know, you just see me work on the elevator.”

I'm usually just, I can't help. I'll raise up. I'm. I'm. You're having a chat in the.

I'm having a chat in the. Yeah. I mean, a person, I was just dirty in the elevator and I just want. Not even trying to raise you up at all. Yeah.

And it's. I just, you know, chat. I'm not. I'm not. Of course.

You know, but you got to see. I'm not a jackass. No. I'm not a jackass. Yeah.

That's good. Not like that. I'm not a jackass. I'm a jackass elevator. I'm just.

These guys saw these guys solve the.

Ladies, raise me up a little bit in the elevator. Whoa. Are you there? I don't know if you guys were there. Yeah, I've come.

I've elevator buddies. I've go. That's great. That's great. What can elevators you guys on?

Yeah. It's in my office apartment. Oh. So when we do the podcast there, I'll bring the team. I bring the team there.

My elevator buddies. See my team. Yes. So I chat me up. That's true.

Oh, God. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Who knows what you're doing.

I know. We scream and check out my LF man. Maybe. Good. I.

I've thought about it before. They might like him. Subscribe. Yeah. Next time we got the cams in my elevator with my elevator buddies.

Call me anaconda. Yeah. So. Yo, anaconda. Where do you want the cams to go?

Yo, chill, chill, chill, chill. I don't want to go. Yeah. Yeah. Can I come to the square?

Yeah. [LAUGHTER] The eggs that you can raise are the best of them in the elevator. But I was so dirty and this lady just came on. She was like mean too.

She came on at mean face.

“That's what I'm just going to look like.”

Yeah, a lot of those fashion babes of mean. Yeah. She was a mean, babe dude. Very point sharp features. I want loop.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. No.

My plan for life. If you were not. Not my squad. Yeah. Sceptre pierced babes.

Not my squad either. We rarely get along. I agree. Rarely dude. I only really run into them at the while they're bartending.

Yeah. And they're the meaness. Yeah, dude. They're fucking meaness. Yeah.

They're the shit. They're the shit out of your fucking side dude. What the fuck is this? They get out. Yeah.

They get out right now. Pissing me off. Yeah. I know you can play on TikTok or whatever. That's all you do.

Put your like. Shut up. But bartenders film their shifts now. You know that. They film them.

They time lapse them. It's a big thing. They ain't alive and it's just like. It's me the whole time. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you die? That's crazy. Yeah. You were telling me why. I'm fucking live stream at a bar.

That's not fair. Yeah. It's supposed to be safe even for a saying stuff. Yeah, for real. You're supposed to say the worst things there.

I was thinking of dude. I guess. Guy's saying when they're wrongfully caught saying the wrong things. This don't certainly things been making me laugh. What happened?

It's just an old thing he said during his a deposition. Uh, well, whatever. I'll try to find it. But he's like. When when when a beautiful woman hits on me and sucks on me and I let's me know she cares about

me and the limo driver. And I get in a limo and she gets naked and starts sucking my toes and sucking on me. And I say thank you for making me feel good. And they get that in the next line in the deposition is like the question was is that you're handwriting. [laughter]

Pretty classic, dude. That's awesome. I was going to do that. I like to get sucked in limo. I get all of me.

All my I get sucked on the limo on the way to Mr. Cune's house. It's what he says.

He's going to.

What was he in the deposition for?

“Probably getting caught saying the end word.”

I don't even think he said the end word. He didn't even say the end word dude. He didn't even say the end word dude. He didn't even say the end word dude. He didn't even say the end word dude.

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