Ep 615 - Slim Goodie (feat. Sheryl Underwood)

us? Everybody work with crew. Keep confidence is down top two months. Now they talk with each of us. These three are a problem. They get a couple of whiskey's every night at the open mics. They're not the open mics. You know what I mean? But they tell stuff? Oh yeah. They fight amongst each other. They fight amongst each other immediately. My, well, no, mine started negotiating and gang up on me.

I'm like, who the fuck? Say, I would cut their heads. The second day, you know, it's their dead.

Yeah. They're dead. They said no, you. Yeah. No. We got to get along great. I'm going to try this with they ass. It'd be like Napoleon's cannon right in front of me. Great shot. Right away. Well, actually, I know Kyle from... This is a, this is a, so you've been here, I talk about the time. I was at the laughing skull comedy festival. And I was in the green room and it was the men's U.S. soccer team just lost. And one of the lady comics walked in and was like, the men's team lost.

They suck. I guess they still get paid more than the women. And I was just the one guy who was like, well, it's because they're, they're not as good. And there was one guy in the room with me that was like, don't do it. It was God. It was the next we go. Why are you doing this? And I was like, oh, it's not a second. Yeah. It had to be done. No, you're trying to warn him about this. He was like, don't. Well, why not? He is, he is our Jim Kelly. We were in the wrong room for it. Well, why?

Because it was just, it was a bunch of women. Yes. And even the guys were women. Yeah. The whole group, every single guy in there was like, well, women are just as good at sports.

Yeah. You put it. You never played sports. Once you see a bitch gets CTE, I have respect.

I think they're born with it. Yeah.

“Yeah. Yeah. But see to me, here's my feeling. If you want to be equal, you will be treated equal.”

And you don't want equal, because equal is the same. And that's what everybody. I want to be equal. No, you don't. No, you don't. This the time that I'm going to get off the bus. Maybe we're talking about the distance and lambbearing them. If somebody get off the bus. And be ready. Let's go. And choke you and put you in the face. But we're not even on the court. We just fight in in the parking lot. You can be equal. Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Maybe the WMBA needs it. Actually, they've been fighting

a lot. That's what got a lot of, that's actually what picked the league up. Do you think that they,

but I think that there's certain things like me being a female comic, women will come to see a man, right, with a guy. It's difficult for a man to come to see a woman. And it's I don't have,

“that's why we end our show the way we end our show. So I want to have a minute and shit. So what”

guy is going to bring a group of his friends to go, let's go see some women, bash us for our and a half. And pay for it and get two drinks and some chicken wings. What man wants to do that? Big guys. Yeah. There's some gay guys in sick. Yeah. Pretty true though. Gay guys in sickos. Maybe that got through into that. See, I know gay men that that I get along better with a certain type of energy, right? But I know gay men that don't want to be represented the way the stereo type is.

Yeah. I know gay men that fix cars. No, gay men. No. Are you gay? No. Yes. I've been saying that it's so cute. He's quite an allegation. Yeah. They just like, yeah, he twerked the drugs. I forgot. He twerked the drugs. I forgot. He twerked the drugs. He twerked the drugs. Yeah, he twerked the drugs. Yeah, he twerked the drugs. I had to grab him. I got no, no, no, no.

“You were twerking drugs. Yeah. What are you saying? What are you saying? Where are you dancing when sexy red came on it?”

And I had to grab him and go, dude. I, but I wasn't twerking. It was just the, it was just the, you was doing your version of twerk. Yes. No. I do have a little move. I bust out, but it wasn't. You was doing a hompty dance. It was before sexy red came on. I was already. It was mom sexy red was on. Then the then a DJ pivoted to sexy red. Hold on. You was doing a hompty dance. You was doing it out. The key question is how low did you go? I didn't drop it. One inch.

Don't make that face. You thanked me. I love it. I almost danced the sexy red. I did appreciate that, but it was almost as crazy. Did you stick your tongue out? Yes. Yes. He was looking to be gone. You love him. Are you in love with him? Am I in love with him? Yeah. Yes. No. Yeah. It's a funny thing. Not gay, but yes. We all love each other. Yeah. Yeah.

he's cliff have sex together. Yes. Sure. Why don't you understand me? That's going to be the

rope. How about the limit now? Well, the mare is the freakiest of the group. Really? Tell me. What did you do? I'll tell you. Ask him one more time. I'll tell you something crazy. Yeah. Yeah. What's the freakiest thing? I tried to go to an orgy and Milwaukee and it didn't work out. That's a good one. Yeah. I like a... I knew you'd say something crazy. A orgy in Milwaukee. Yeah. He was with me in Milwaukee, and he got on the internet and tried to find

an orgy. And then he wrote a, I think, a new group. I took a new group to a hotel. They said, "Yeah, if you give us 50 bucks, you can come to the orgy in there. Should we stall 50 bucks, Robert?"

“To me, see, that's how like a setup. And yeah, of course. But here's the question, Lamar,”

what would you have done had you've gone there? I don't know, man. You wouldn't get to that. Everybody, that's 50 dollars. That's about 50 dollars. That's about 50 dollars. Oh, you're gonna be part of it. That's the boy at six. He like, oh, you're 50 dollars. That's it. No, over was what? $5,000. It wasn't much. They need to be feeding. Orgy is 50, but you have it a good night. So, does have to be the alasking crab legs of the orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy.

It takes on that for every day. It's the funniest part about the people that ripped them off was we got back to New York. And he, he confronted them online, and they were like, actually, where are you right now? He's like, I'm gonna be New York. And they're like, you're not gonna believe it. We're having an Orgy tonight and you're 50 bucks.

What did you win ball in the money or something? What did you do? The first time in the world.

You said they're in the money online. Yeah. Okay, number one. You don't don't pay before you five. Well, leave it on the dresser. It wasn't even on the dresser. They have the positives. Okay. I do the positives. Really? Is that what we doing now?

“Not me. I mean, but that's what the business, or was you fucking a man? No. Okay. No.”

There was going to be some fellows in there. I'd say three to one guys. Yeah. So then how many people would have been in the Orgy? I think you got at least 10, right? 10 people. That's 50 dollars a pie. That's 50 dollars a pie. That's $500. That's a good night. We'll get the money now. That in Milwaukee, that's all right. What are we supposed to be talking about?

This is exactly what we always talk about. We'll be nice to have hosts and non-exist in Orgy.

Get 500 bucks and just jerk off by yourself in the hotel room. Yeah, it's big. I made so much money tonight. Yeah. It's awesome. It's a good plan. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by prize picks. The regular season's done in the NBA playoffs are here. Time to get in on the action with prize picks. A preferred partner of the NBA.

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prize picks. A preferred partner of the NBA. Yeah, now you know the crew. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty much yeah. Yeah, crew is probably similar to my crew. Yeah. That's why they only smile and they like don't tell our business. Wow, what are they into? Yeah, what the hell? I would say, I would say, I would say I have the best team in the business because we understand each other. We respect each other and they keep my secrets. My team sucks. They don't respect me. They tell everybody everything.

And then they fight each other. Every night, these guys have three shots of whiskey and go, your mother fucker. Really? Well, maybe, I want to fight each other. They're in Kyle now. Now, y'all good. Do you guys are tight knit? Very myself. That's nice. They're, they're like the big brothers. They nudged me out of my comfort zone. Like doing Netflix and even considered an expression. I'm, I'm very afraid. Yeah. It's very, everything's scary. Why? Why? I don't know,

putting yourself out there. So, how many have you done? I've only done two. I've only done one

you nervous? Put yourself out there. Anytime I make anything, and it goes out there. I'm like, why would I ever? Because for me, I'm more comfortable in a nightclub. For sure. I'm, because the language can be relaxed. And it's intimate. And if you lose them, you can get them back. Yeah. In a special NAS fixed in stone. You know, but, but I will say this when Jamie Foxx and Marcus Kane produced this show, Lafapalosa. And it was filmed in Atlanta. And me and Mike Washington

had been going around doing shows right after September 11. So I was doing some pro-American, pro-resident Bush jokes about September 11 in a very hood way. And everybody else in Atlanta was getting up and doing traditional sets, nightclub sets. And I told Jamie, I said, I'm going to bomb. And he was like, why do you think that I said, because I'm about to do some pro-American jokes and pro-president jokes. Because I used to get booed talking about being a Republican

and supporting a president Bush. But once I did it in the response, Kyle, you, because you were saying that Kyle said enough camera, but it made you respect me more in that humor.

“That's what I realized. Oh, you guys come out of titties and suck a dick. You, oh, she got a strong”

mind. I don't know that. But here's the thing. I like, I don't sleep with a fuck or engage sexually

anybody I. Hey, because I'm getting fucked twice. If, if, if, if, yeah, you don't fuck or you pay. If you want to be in a relationship with me and you work for me, you must quit. And then we'll see where it goes. But in hearing when we got to know each other and the jokes that he appreciated, I had to take the risk and I needed it to be recorded so it could be timestamped. But when you recorded your special, did you bring back any jokes that had been recorded or

done somewhere else to put in the special? No. No, but I only did the only thing I had before that was a YouTube special. So I didn't have anything ever recorded. Really. Really. But I don't think there's a problem with that. Really. Yeah. And then you and I were talking and like I, I talking my show about being a Republican, but being considered a rhino, being considered

“transphobic, being considered homophobic. So being considered that. What's a Republican?”

Considered every Republican in name only. So in this, this administration, I've been a register Republican for decades, right? But in this administration, the Trump administration, I'm considered a rhino. And which doesn't bother me. I just feel like one thing I love about the power of comedy, it's great discussion. You're not going to agree. You're not going to like every joke I tell. You're not supposed to, you're supposed to have a certain type of reaction to certain things.

What I asked the audience to do is sit through the set and figure out what you like and what you don't like, but let everybody else around you enjoy it. Yeah. That's fair. Yeah. And if you don't like it,

because I was like, really, like one of my first jokes was, uh, what go good with chili?

What? What go good with chili? That's a broader white people. Let's talk about the answer. That's one of my first jokes. That was another. But oh, how did the Bush jokes go? Absolutely. I think people were pumped. Well, the way they were told. Yes, they were, they were really stealth because they were told, uh, in a way that the urban and the black and the street and land to audience could understand. It's not for you to agree, but the president is the president.

Like, if it wasn't Trump saying a lot of shit, we'd be like, "Right, right, crypto, right, let's get into this." Uh, right, right, let's fuck these motherfuckers up before they get a nuclear weapon, right? It's who is coming out of sometimes and the times that we live in.

“But I think that's why I say what I said at the roast. You're not going to agree. It's a roast”

in this a new generation of roast. It's no longer rim shot, Don Rickles, Dean Martin, Pearl Bailey. Yeah. And it wasn't in a small room where we're all friends. It's in a arena on

national television. We never met. That's right. And it's international. Right. But what I liked about

Tony told, but I believe on the side of the cookout crew, Pete Davidson represented with the

Charlie Kirk joke. I agree. You got to be offended by both or neither. That's how I felt about that. That's right. But you should be reaction should be offense. The Floyd family should be upset. It should be a crew of people that are that are mad because that's the reaction you have. Right. Because you're not thinking about freedom. So you should think about your brother who was murdered by a system. But on a saying token, I tell people it's a roast and it's a new generation of

roasters because everybody's like, "How did you feel?" They talked about your dad has been

committing suicide. Okay. It really truly happened. And it happened over 30 years ago.

“Also I called you. Yes. That's why I said it. Well, remember when I never knew that without. Yeah.”

Yeah, but let me tell you something. Knowing you, knowing Tony, like I'm sitting next to Tony, this motherfucker is ordering crown and coke. And I'm like, "So people think you are bigger, but you really are black man." You look like to your apartment. It's a black film. It's a black film. I mean, it has a throne. He's like two or three different gold throne on this. I was saying two nights ago. You lie. It's literally the blackest place I've ever seen. I'm telling you. That's the fucking line.

Sit next to him. You're black. You either, something, who beat him up in school? I think a lot.

You got his attitude with the lot. Five to guess. You got to get Spider-Man by it. He's just catching me up. And see to me, I would love to sing Tony and Cat Williams in a buddy cop movie. That would be hilarious. Two little motherfuckers with big attitudes in a movie.

“Yeah, every great. That would be very fun. I think you need to remake a smoke in the bandit.”

I like it. Usually getting John Candy. I get those a lot. I still have you with those. I don't see it. But I lost a little weight. Yeah, but even if you were Husky Err, you have a swing. You got a swing. No, no. I mean, how tall are you? Six three. How much away? 240. Okay. When I was five to at 250. Yeah. I've five to 250. Hell yeah. Okay, nose guard. Jesus Christ, you're in the A-gap.

It's 124. But I, I think show on the one nose that I think. Oh, I'm saying that I got for the ball. I got a whole lot of men. How long ago was this? Oh, how long have I been on a sex and do we go via now on Zep-bound by three years? Oh, nice. Look at, look at, you can see my

“weight fluctuating. That's why my book is called "I'm fat because of you." So I'm writing my life story”

and it's got, I'm fat because of you because I wanted to talk about the times that my body was protecting me and then it was attacking me and all the things that I was going through in life. 'Cause I was like, I was a slim goodie back when I was in sexual interpretive dance. You were a slim goodie back when you were in sexual interpretive dance. When was the week off in sexual interpretive dance? It's a sexy red. Now that's what they can say. Let's get

out into sexual interpretive dance. Yes, when I was much smaller, but then I think stress might be a stripper. I attempted to, uh, back then it was called "Longioray Modeling" and I was in college and I answered the ad to model the lingerie and then the guys, it was in a bar, Tavern, type of situation in Chicago. Is it true story? No, no, I mean a trick is to get girls to. No, you go in and we put on the lingerie. We model it and the guy who buys it,

he's supposed to strip it off for him. But God lets you know what you can't do and I wasn't good at it. So I was doing all the free and saying, "Oh, I'll make your people laugh, you know, I'll do that." You funny, you need to put your clothes on and go home, but you're funny. That's awesome. You went to school in Chicago? I went to Fresno City College. That's where my associates

master's degree is from Governor's State University Park, Illinois. I have five honorary doctors

for them from HBCUs and one of them from my own, I'm a moderate UIC. That's great. That's all. So my doctor five times. Yeah. That's crazy. And I want to go to college, but I also want to be in the entertainment business. Yeah. I want to be smart enough to sit across from my lawyer and understand what was going on. Sit across from my accountant. I don't know what they're saying. Yeah. So you got to know? I don't. You got to know. They're going to trick me.

Uh-huh. That's just going to trick you. It's crazy. Yeah. I don't know. It's all it is. It's

“Latin. It's Latin. Now you got to do. I took Latin in college, but you need to, okay, now”

you're going to have to marry either a very smart, uh, progressive black woman. There's you need a black wife. You need a. He's got a black wife. Yeah. Yeah. What's a name? Brittany. Uh-huh. That's the black people. What year do you think she was born? I don't know what he's born, but Brittany Chicago black, like it's the defendment. She's south side black, a west side black. South side. South side black. Uh-huh. What location? Uh-huh. Like, homens, I guess.

Drop a pit. Oh, yeah. Damn. There was wear a poem, man. Oh, she, no, wow, huggess. Oh, yeah, Brittany. Yeah, ma'am. Matt visits any jogs in the neighborhood. You got to, I mean, Jason, it looks like Rocky. I run as courage strongly for jogging, but I won't know my jogging. Either you're insurance man or undercover cop. If you walk through the black neighborhood,

“like that, and you in the wild while 100, did you ever go to the copper box? What's that?”

No, okay, then Brittany didn't take you. Like, stay your ass at home. So how'd you out meet? Tender, we met online. You lied. Where? And you fell in the field. Yeah, she came to Philly for her master's degree. Uh-huh. And then we met on Tinder. You have any children? Two. Wonderful. How old? Uh, six and three. Wonderful. Yeah. How does you know she was her?

I don't know. I just figured it out. We moved in pretty quite. We were like one on a second date and I

just like stated her house for pretty much then on wonderful. I mean, our house sucks. Yeah. I was living with like six guys, so yeah. All so good. I was like a bachelor path. Yeah. And you fell in love and then y'all accelerated it. I'm very proud of you. Now, what's up with you? I know this supposed to be yo interview, but no, no, I'm so okay. So what type of, I'm be nosy. What type of women do you like? Describe her. They usually are blonde. Good. Yeah.

Blond and smart. Not yet. Not the blonde. Not that blonde women are not smart. I'm just saying, do you like a woman who's smart? It's tough to find. What do Eddie Murphy say? It comes to America. My loins. Yeah. Do you want someone that you can engage in conversation? Yeah. Of course. Right. Right. Right. Okay. Now, see, I don't understand like I've been a widow since my, when my husband died, I have not been in what I consider a long-term relationship because I can be quite reclusive.

I like my long time. Yeah. I'm similar with that. Yeah. I don't like to sit up with a man and watch sports with him because I'm not talking to him. I'm okay with that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'll tell you a story. So I had this dude. I really, really liked and rarely I let people come around where I live, right? So he was like, so what you're doing tonight? What you want to do tonight? He's like,

“I want to watch the fight. I said, once you, you know, swing by. So I got the fight ready, right?”

I said, what do you want to eat? He takes, I said, text me what you want to eat. So I got all the stuff he wanted and everything. And then on my side of the bed was a stack of newspapers and magazines. And on his side of the bed was everything he wanted to eat and everything. So he was like, what you're doing? I said, I'm shutting the fuck up. So you can watch the fight. He was like, so you want to talk? That's wonderful. I want to fucking my talking to you. We're going to watch the fight.

This is great. Yeah. And he didn't work. What's he? No, he didn't. He didn't. I don't know why. Like, if we watch it, okay, wish a favor team. I saw all the shirts and was fighting. Well, it's Eagles and the name. Okay. Today football. Okay. Now, Kyle, tell him, I watch college sports. Yeah. When I'm not, when I'm working, I watch enough of it. But when I'm not working, Saturdays. Sorry, it's for college football. That's right. I don't know what to

fuck. I'm looking at. Sure. I just know how much college is. Hold on a second. I was college

sports. When I was drinking, I had my beer and my shit and my snacks. But nobody's there with me.

Now, I will text Jim. Jim Kelly is my sports guru. Like, when I watched Stanley Cup stuff.

Yeah. And I go, Jim, my only question. How do they know where the hockey puck is? I can't see shit. Jim Kelly. Not to, not to football. Okay. And if I was that cool. I was like, I'm, I've a fun story. I've got a fun story about Jim Kelly. What? So, I had to do a, uh, the Super Bowl like two years ago. This guy, this rich guy asked me to go to this dinner. And he wanted me to do stand up. But I was like, I don't know if I'm doing stand up. But we just went to this, like,

steak dinner. This, it was like a long table, but it was just NFL Hall of Famers. So it was like, for real, everybody. I was sitting next to Jerry Rice. It was like Jim Kelly, Shannon Charm. It was, oh, Nate was there. Nate twirks. But how are you? What are you talking for? It was a different mean thing. You did to me that it was, uh, you called me a

“pedophile. Yeah, that's how I could do it. That's how I close. So, thankfully Jim Kelly led the”

table in prayer before. Oh. Oh. Because otherwise, I had no material. But it was just Jewish bankers and NFL Hall of Famers. Uh-huh. What the senses are human, Jerry Rice's, Jerry Rice's more fraternity brother. My members ate a five beta. He's a member of five beta sick. The only thing he left that was when I called Nate a pedophile. He brought about that. Then he looked at his head up and left. And I'm sure you guys saw the club Saishae, cliche, cliche interview I did with him. No, I didn't see that.

Oh. Yeah. Shannon and I sat in a car for hours. Uh, when he was playing in Denver. So I was in a

Denver. I think it was when they first opened the first location of the improv. And what's the

other guy? Is it Terrell Davis? Yeah, too. Okay. So I thought Terrell Davis was Shannon and Shannon was Terrell. So he was like, so what do you want to do after this? I said, I'm selling CDs,

“back then I was selling CDs and cassette tapes and posters. So he was like, what do you want to do?”

I said, okay, I want to go in a carriage ride, right? Because I saw the horse outside. I want to go in a carriage ride. He said, come on, I'll take you. And this is Shannon talking to me. But I think it's Terrell. And so I go, okay, let me, let me get this money right here. So he starts walking up these stairs to the club and goes, come on, if you come and I say, who the fuck you talk to? I said, yeah, I'm not the business in here. Give a fuck about you. My fucking, he was like, I say it,

I was like, and I say it, fuck, I'm already me, right? So anyway, it's crazy. It's crazy. It was sexy.

Yeah, I got off all the way. When he said, come on, if you come with all that, oh, it was like, wait, we're in a bitch, stand up for yourself. So I pack up my stuff about myself, because even the white girls was like, he's telling you to come on. I was like, it's get a backbone. Yeah. Fuck you talking about. So we, we give the go, we get in the car and we can't find the carriage ride. So we sit in the car for hours talking about what type of relationship we could

to could not have. And fast forward to Clevver Shay Shay, where we've ever talked about it, side by side. That's great. I was definitely wanting to be a Mrs. Shatt and Shark, but it was a myth of me and we all stay friends. You know, that's awesome. Yeah, that's what you would hope. I mean, every man I've been with, I'm still friends with, you know, like, cool, if they are live, but yeah, I'm still, I'm still friends. I left those jokes there. Yeah, you could not say something.

“That cannot tell you honestly. And that's what I've been doing in the interviews is telling”

people, listen, if they had not come with respect and said, these are the topics. Yeah. But I did know what was going to be said. And I did not know that Tony was going to do the George Floyd joke. Yeah. But when he did it, like I was over there, like scribbling on paper and asking God, send me, send me the response, send me the response like the response to you, send me the response. But I don't want to be mean spirit it. But with Tony and the George Floyd joke,

my only feeling is, if you don't have the right response that blows up the room even further, you've set back the calls. So sometimes it's say less, if you ain't gotten in good, cut his throat with figuratively about comedy, shut the fuck up because you're going to make it worse. In my opinion, what do you think? I agree. I think that's, I think you know it. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like the, so especially with the, like the late husband talk, it was like this

deeply personal, like a tragedy. And the thing no one talks about is like, you know, it's, let's like horrific to even think about and to be up there and just like laughing and making a joke. And to me, it's like a triumph where you're like he rose above it. You made a big joke out of everything. No one ever talks about that at all. It's, it's, I thought it was, I bought it. I was like, this is beautiful. And then you came up and

not even on the teleprompter. I was like, that like really blew me away. Yeah.

“Because I was like, how do you do that in that room? I would be glued to the teleprompter,”

sweating, reading it, and to be like, I have my own notes. I just formulated it on a stage,

on live TV in front of an arena of people. I really was. I was like, this is amazing.

Faith in God. Yeah. Ask God, send me the words, fill in safe, fill in like I'm not being attacked. So I don't have to be defensive. I don't have to be thin-skinned. And it culturally, we cracked jokes when he died. We did. We cracked jokes. I had to calm my father and go, "Come here and I didn't fight about him." I was like, "Why?" I was like, "Because you're my daddy. You're my daddy. You're my daddy." You're not an ant look. You're not an ant look. You know, but, but,

in stress, sometime humor equalizes stress. So for me, when I first got to the talk on CBS, one of the first jokes I told was this joke about my best friend, Peaches. Now I'm in Chicago.

“My husband dies. It jumps off a building. My best friend, Peaches, tries to outcry me at my husband's funeral.”

And we're in a, what is it? funeral home, 71st and Hallstead. And I'm sitting up front in my family. We don't, because we from down south. And my father is conservative southern, but we don't express emotion out out in public. But so I'm sitting up front. And we're just wetland coming back from the back of the room. And it's my best friend, Peaches. And she's well and in coming up. And she is showing out. But like people know, she is showing out at my husband's

funeral. Now her husband is sitting about four people back. I'm just thinking about my family, and a funeral. If one person showed out, they should be there. That's it. You're not going to do it. Now we are looking around like, who is that? And she's well in. And so my father is nudging me. And I'm nudging him. I'm like, I don't know what to do. So I walk up to her and I put my arms around her. And I go, bitch, fuck are you doing? And we laughing, but it looks like we're crying with each other.

Yeah. And I said, I'm going to let you go, because your husband, I've reusing Grandberry. This is four, four pews back. Watching you cry over my dead husband. I'm going to let you go. He can fuck you up when you get on it. But I couldn't say those words. And Julie Chamonbe was the one who said, let's make a TV friendly, but let's put some words in it. And let's season it. Very funny. But it's, when you say culturally, sometimes humor is the thing. It's the most

uncomfortable humor that really kind of, it kind of lessens the tension and the stress. When you say,

“yeah, absolutely. Do you feel you've ever gone too far in something?”

Yeah, yeah, for sure. But then you're like, you know, as soon as you do it in a club, as soon as you're wrong, you go off shit. Well, but I mean, puns are supposed to get groans. A scatological humor is shit jokes. You know, they make you giggle like a kid. You know, the analysis of humor is what I love. But if you dissect the joke so hard, it's like a frog. You, you got to kill it to dissect that. But to me, for the people who are upset and on social

media, I feel like you have a right to be that because now I get to talk about mental illness in men and specifically black men that men feel, I don't need therapy. I don't need this. I don't need that right in this society. But people say, well, how could you sit there? Oh, it was offensive. Well, you don't be offended for me if I'm not offended, but be offended for your point of view. And you can have your point of view. Yeah. We're not saying you can't have it. Have it all on social

media because most people trying to attempt to do stand up. We'll never understand how it feels.

It's, it's like the greatest sex in the world with a bunch of people. You know, you're just going to get high going. Milwaukee. Milwaukee, you're going to get out. Fitted dollars. Let's say. Now, what did you want to ask me? I'm sure you'll have some questions. What do you want to ask me? Yeah. Well, really, my one question was like, and I can't, you kind of answered it was like, how did you kind of put together that ad hoc,

like response to everything that you said? You just kind of channeled God and just chilled out and relax. What do you, I guess this is a question I had, too, when like, because I've always wanted to this before, like, you know, you suffered this personal tragedy. Was there a part of you that

worried, like, I can't be funny again after this? It was like, I always wondered that if I

be false and like, or some like horrible tragedy happens to me, well, just like destroy my sense of

That's why the book is I'm fat because of you because I had to survive. I had to find a way to pay my bills. I had to find a way to build a career. So I just looked at it as, and my father was like, don't why me, why not you? Like, tragedy can't come to your door. Like, it comes to anybody else's door.

So the first thing I thought, what is funny about this? What does funny, a lot of people say,

well, why would you make a joke about being raped? And after I was raped, I went to the stage with it because that's the place where I'm most comfortable in talking to people. That's something. How do you feel? Could you use that one in the roast? Yes. I thought you were. No. No, no, no, they told me, they told me that that's you guys might talk about me in the race. I wouldn't first of all, I definitely not do that. It's like, I'm raped. It's what I lose it. Yeah, but I mean,

I'm crazy. You know what? But, but would you say that is what roasting is now? It's no longer you a hockey pup roasting in your, your generation in this time span of comedy, you hit,

“be really below the belt. And for me, I feel like the only thing you got to deal with,”

you ain't got to deal with me. So I'm your colleague. You got to deal with the month

because outside, you're going to be half of what they mad about, right? But to me, if you worry about that, you restrict yourself to great comedy, right? So for me, every tragedy in my life, I bring it to the stage so that I can show the audience, you can survive any tragedy. If God lets you open your eyes the next day, okay, survive it. Because we talking shit, you know, if someone wanting your relatives at the hospital to chew eight, and we all in the hospital room going, if we could just put

a plug on this one, see, yeah, we all laughed. That's what humor does. Even though we know we not going to do it, or one of us might, but the rest of us not, that's what humor is for. It's gallo humor. It's Irish winks. It's black funerals. It's funny. It's black funeral. Hey, dig that motherfucker up and check his pockets. Why? That's humor. That gets you over tragedy. I didn't know. I wasn't certain. Your husband, your late husband was black.

We're not meant to. That's hype of the way he died. I was like the sounds like it. It's a very white guy thing to do, jump off a building. Yeah. How so, what do you mean? And that takes courage? No, okay. I mean, it does. No, I'm not disrespecting them. It does. People argued me down when I talked about that. In mental illness, I felt it took him great courage to be in such despair that he would do something that there's no way I could have done that. Yeah. No way,

but for that type of despair and that type of stress, and people said, well, you know, because I had some therapy and dealing with some things. But my thing is, I did not kill my husband, but I may have exacerbated his stress. And so now that comes through, and my comedy is saying, what type of companion I want to be to a man? Because I've watched the man I love. You weren't talking during the game way. No, not at all. Now, that, that, that is one thing. Now, I might ask you a question

in a movie theater, but I don't like the top. That's great. Because I talk for a living. Don't

you have moments where you don't want to talk at all. Yeah. Right, the second I get off the road,

I sit on that couch and don't talk for three days. And women don't understand it. Well,

“that's what that joke comes from. You, or you are out doing whatever you're doing. The”

your man is out doing whatever he's doing. And as soon as you come home, you want to talk to him, give him a minute, let him shit shower and shake, and then let him get situated and give you a signal that conversation should come forth. That'd be really nice to you. That's what I tell you, just like you were talking to everybody else all weekend. I watched you. It's like, yes, that's my fucking job. That's right. But, but I don't want to talk now. They don't hear that.

But, but then, is that why you're single? Kind of. Yeah. It's one of the reasons, yeah. When you, when you, when you finish the show, how do you feel about? Because stand-up comedy is the most sexually attractive thing to do, aligned with singing. You got to stand-up. No. It's sexual

“to make a woman laugh or to make a men laugh. It's a sexual thing. That's why it's so powerful.”

I'm making a lot of kids making all these guys laugh. Fuck. Well, not that, but that guy right there. That guy. That's why he's happy. That's why I come to work every day.

when the show is over, what do you do without it adrenaline? I drink. Okay. I used to. It's not like I

will never drink again. Yeah. But I really want to see how I can reset my body for longevity.

But I will tell you this, I drink because I like the taste of alcohol. It's not that I like what it does to me. I like the taste of good whiskey or the taste of good gin or the taste of a great martini, you know, and I used to smoke cigars, but I don't anymore. But I like that sort of thing.

“But are you drinking because your adrenaline is up? And now you need to pump the brakes because”

alcohol is depressing. Or do you drink as you like the taste of alcohol? I like drinking. Right. And you drink by yourself? No. You drink with bitches? I mean, no. No, it's almost entirely men. You should see my greener. It's literally why you don't slip to Mickey. And you get what you want. Can I see you looking at him? Slip to Mickey to drink and then you let it go. No. I only I got shame where I wanted. Got your turn back. Yeah. Got your socks off.

Get him. That's the wine down. Yeah. Right. It's the wine down. And we remember we would go. We used to had this thing. And everybody goes to it. It's called the company field trip. And the company field trip is where I would take my entire team to the strip club. And we will bring in. We have a company field trip. You'd love it. You'd love it. It's a lot of fun. A lot of great food. Where are we going? Magic City? Magic City. In Atlanta.

The wings are amazing. The broccoli. I can grab help them. Yeah. Yeah, I do. You're going to Magic City. I got to fucking love and pepper wings. The wings and the broccoli. Yeah. The wings and the broccoli. And the service is amazing. And we would go in there. And people will say, "Well, sure, why do you go in the strip clubs?" One to talk to the girls about this. And I came last year. I like to talk to them too. You're still here. Yeah. You said you were doing this for beauty school.

Why the fuck you still here? Or college or whatever. But then also, it's the only place where the guys aren't looking at me. They're talking to me about politics and sports and current events or street life. They're not looking at me. They're talking to me. They're looking at her. And then she primes them up. And then I just lean over and go, "So what you doing after this?" It's kind of genius. Yeah. Yeah. This funny it takes like 12 naked tits to just focus on

“conversation. That's how it happened. Yeah.”

Sit next. They're just like, "So how have you been?" Yeah. I never even asked.

How does it take to do how to kiss? Yes. Yeah. What do you got? Me? Yeah. Who me? I got, yeah, just to stay at a link. July 17th, please come to Lincoln Financial Field and Philadelphia. It's the most important moment of my life. Yeah. That'll be fucking nasty. If it doesn't go well, I'm going to leave this earth. I'm going to get pyro underneath the stage and I'm going to tell them go ahead. Send it. Play me. I'm out. Guys, I picked up some comedy club dates. All summer long. We're

going to be having fun together. I'll be 65 June 5th in 6th. I'll be at the Summit City Comedy Club Fort Wayne, Indiana. And that is, that's in just a few weeks. I ran into a buzz hole over there. Did you really? Yeah. What did you get with Abbott? Just an afternoon buzz hole. No, we're just hammered. It's a fun club. Yeah. That'll be all be there in the dog days of the summer, levity live, Huntsville, Alabama, the Star Dome, Comedy Club, Birmingham. I'm excited for that. And Spokane,

Comedy Club, Spokane, Washington. Also, it's not up yet, but I have a bunch of more dates. So,

“check them out on NothingClosquet.com. Goodbye. That's what I did now. How do you wind down now”

after the show? That's something I always struggle with. How do you like, because I feel crazy.

Yeah, how do you not drink after the roast? That was fun. I kept telling myself, you don't want to, I got a goal that I'm trying to get to. Sure. I kept telling myself, stay focused. It's like being an athlete. Most people don't look at us as athletes, because it's such a ceditary life. And, you know, it's a excess, right? But being a stand-up comic, you have to be able to remember what you're doing. Then remember what joke, when it doesn't work, the replace it

with another joke, you have to be ready to, if I've been drinking on night now, I'm puffy on camera, right? So, it's a lot of regimental type training. But for me, after the roast, I just felt

after parties. I don't hang out. Rarely do I go to what they call Hollywood parties, because I'm

“kind of reclusive, but then I thought, come on, sure, you need to engage, because you need, you need work.”

I need work, especially there's no TV shows, no movies being done. I was on daytime TV for 14

years. So, for me, I thought, okay, do this. And then I wouldn't never got representation,

and the things that happened so fast after that. But I also, I wanted to enjoy the high of working with my colleagues. That's what I want to experience it without alcohol in my system. So, I can remember it. Why you smile at it? I just, I had a great time. Yeah. That was fucked up. Yeah, I love my colleagues. I love my colleagues. I would love to be more. When you walked up to me with the Bud Lightenhand, I said, that's the guy. That's the guy. And I thought that was

the coolest thing, but the chance that we talked backstage. But then also to have a 45-30-minute conversation with the rock about life. Okay, how do you feel? I've met him before, and he's the nicest. Yes. It's crazy how nice he is. Yes. Yes. When he was making fun of me, he was talking about me and him working out together, and then sitting in a sauna. And that was true. We really did that. Yeah. And me and him were in a sauna and he was just the coolest. Yes.

Nice. It was weird. Yeah. It was, you know what? And having our body types sitting across from the other

“me. Very funny. Okay, but would you work out with him? And would I? Would you, a consistent basis?”

No, fuck no. Right. Mark Wahlberg, would you work out with him? No. He's a really three in the morning.

Yeah. But he's a really great person. I've never seen him. Yeah. There's a photograph of the

Peckie out May where the fight. There's a photograph of me and Mark Wahlberg on a, uh, like this, some kind of landing. And we're just really ragging on J. Jilahal while he's being interviewed. And he's a really good dude. Spiritually good. Yeah. Anybody understands his humanness. Yeah. You know, that's one good thing about being in entertainment business. You come across people you see in TV and movies and you get to talk to them and you'll find out the good or the bad and you a trip or I'm glad

you met too many bad ones. Really? Not yet? Of of those that are not your one name. No, I don't think I've really met any. Yeah. Rarely do I get my feelings cool. Yeah. Yeah. Same way. But that has speaks

more to who you guys are than who the person is. You know, because you're not going to track too much

bullshit, you got her hands shying? No, no, you got her hands at a lot. You put your beard out of it. So you put your beard out? Yes, a punch and fall down.

[LAUGHTER] Can't stand that. Yes, you're so bad. Pants fall down. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

“That's why I keep my squads drunk we lose to almost everybody. So your lover's not fighters. No, he tried to fight”

but it's a swing in the middle. But I would say I would go around. Went to the after party, but I was like the come on Kyle is getting the car. Well, because it's time to go. Yeah. Yeah. Even doing Tony's podcast last night and people go as a party after. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I was like, hey, let me let me do my thank you's and thank you for having me. And you know, you get to a stage in your career where you like this is wonderful. You kids have fun.

Go to bed. Turn it lights off. Make sure you put the you made a five. I did leave that after party early after the roast. I left. Yeah. But then I was walking out and there was TMZ. Yes. They got me. Well, they was trying to find out. I was trying to find Lewis. Our one friend was, I don't think will mind. It was on Molly. I think. Oh, yeah. And I walked out and TMZ was out there and they're like, what's up, man? How do you think that went on? I was like, I'm trying to find my Mexican friend.

He's on drugs. And they followed me around the corner and Lewis was sitting there like, I was like, this is him. Right. Yeah. Because right when I walked out the door guy was like, there's a guy named Lewis who says he's with you and he keeps bothering us. You got to get him the fuck out of here. I was like, damn. And then TMZ was like, what's up there? And how do they not air that?

Never. Really. Wow. You don't like it. I only really go places for shows to do shows. So

“once a year, twice a year. Really. Yeah. See, I look at LA as a it's a small country town with a lot of”

big inflated people. Yeah. It's really everybody knows everybody. That's true. It's smaller than people think it just appears big because it's you know, Beverly Hills Hollywood Century City. But if you actually get in it, you're like, oh, you're just like regular people. You just have maybe a lot of money or a lot of power. Yeah. I never go to LA. Yeah. I like LA started out as a computer technical religious community funny enough movie industry came in. They were like, yeah, maybe not.

Yeah. Yeah. I like California in general. I just like, it is why I'm awesome. Yeah. It's nice.

You know what you were really love? What's that? San Joaquin Valley. It feels like the south.

It's a lot of farm land. When I went to high school, I went to Atwater High Castle Air Force base. We had Aggies and so the Aggies are kind of like the country and the cowboys and like that. It's nice. Yeah. You would you would really like it. Yeah. You would like it a lot. Lot of drinking. I like drinking. You lot of. And a shock. I like looking at farms. Yeah. Not working. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to go to an app. An app is nice. You just go this week. It hammered on farms.

I was supposed to go this weekend. Why do you want to happen? I'm tired. True. I didn't want to. You know, it's like a music festival. Yeah. Yeah. You wouldn't feel good afterwards. Yeah. Yeah. It hammered. So what's what's the plan then? So you said after the roast, it was just things kind of connected and took off. What's what's the plan outside of the special? I would say continuing to work on the

“road because I love working the road. Me and Kai on. I need a job toward. That's why we named it that”

because like most Americans we need work. Yeah. I want to get deeper in the podcast. I was just about to say do you have like an interview show you do or anything? Well, with Colony are working on politics and punch lines as the podcast because I want to be able to talk about the politics of all situations, including politics. And the punch line is the humorous thing that comes out of that discussion and move on to interview people. I want to

start with just me and Kai on because you can't depend on the interview because the interview either might not show up or might not be good. Yeah. If you guys aren't good together, you're chemistry, then you don't have a show. So I want to get in the podcast. I want to go back to a terrestrial radio. I believe in radio, even if I'm just a contributor and all formats.

Sure, London was a great American talent search. We're doing the first one in Lake Charles, Louisiana.

And I believe that it's everything. Everything. Spones. Someone's going to someone's going to play the spones. Yeah. Wash board. If you do hair, you can put in a quick, even 60 seconds. That's your talent. If you dog jump through a hoop or if it bark and sound like it's singing, that's the talent you can do. Monologue. But if you are a singer or a singing group or a band,

“you must master the past. That's classic rock, classic country, classic R&B, classic soul,”

classic gospel, classic Latin. Whatever you do, that's a good part. Yes, classic hip hop. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Because what it does, it brings in the demographic that remembered all that music. Right. If somebody gets up and does, uh, running meal set, would it be great if white dude got up and was singing some type of country song, maybe even the George Jones song. But then said to the audience, let me show you what else I can do. And then start singing keeps

what? Be wonderful. Be. Wouldn't it? And I get out and have my dog jump through a hoop and all yeah. Okay. So what you guys help me pull it together? Matt would move before me. Real maddo. I like playing music. Yeah, all, but is anybody doing anything? He's got a blind dog. There you go. I'll be blind dog playing a spones. There's hilarious. Can't beat that kind of tap. Bingsie. That sounds nice. Yeah. I like the multi genre. Like let's let's see it all. Yeah. Let's see what you can do.

But it crosses the reason I want to engage radio with it. It crosses all formats. And I want to do the preliminary rounds through comedy clubs. So it's a really an elevated version of the open mic. Hosted by local comedians and local radio jacks. And then when you get to the final round.

small businesses. It brings in corporations. But it brings the community together. If you're fired

apart, man, got up and did new addition. It would it would really be a great experience for that. But the one we're doing in Lake Charles is doing June 10th. And I asked them while we're tabulating the results. Could we do a reenactment of June 10th? I'll be a part of that. No, what would you be one? Blue or gray? Blue. I see the house. I know. I just want you to say it for the people. But don't you think

“sit to me? That's what brings us together. Right. And to do something fun like that after”

we do the I need a job tour. My next tour will be Sherlock was Great American talent search. Oh, man. I was going to make a terrible joke. Okay, Ranking. You know what? The guys did after June

10th? What date? They were on the I need a job tour. They said, "Oh, she did. I need to go on tour."

They said, "We got you on camera. You're going to help me pull this together." Yeah. Because I think it'll be great for the country. And you can find talent. And if you want to put Afro-Bita or EDM underneath some classics, you got to do something. I just think we can find the next sticks or Boston or even Leonard Skinner. Yeah. I think because all of that, these kids do not understand the fun we had in forming a group or making a band or trying to make this music

or coming together, you know, as entertainers, how can Michael Jackson be vilified, die? And then become the best-selling movie. But all his music is going back up the charts.

If there isn't something there, right? Yeah. And so for me, I just want to bring the country

together. And I believe in this as something that would bring us together. And possibly turn into something really, really great. That's awesome. It'll be nice. Yep. What else do you want to know? Is the time for me to go? Let me look at, oh, look at the time. Yeah. That's another thing, too, that I have a tendency to do. I could be with a man. And I feel like I'm getting a little too relaxed, little too talkative. And I go, you know,

I think I need to go to the bathroom. And then I'll just sneak out of the building. That'd be so confusing. It was like, things were going well. And she looks at it. No, no, I don't want to. Once these phones came out, I will text from the current. Go, hey, call me later or I'm a car you want to get home. That stops the, oh, she left. No, she really likes me. But I snuck out. I still would be like, I also think I scared her.

Scared what if a lady escaped? Yeah. Well, if I could let that talk about it, if I'm lingerin, my dad had a saying and sang. Oh, that'd be, that's nice. Like a long,

“lingerin long, but die you must. Yeah. I don't want to linger. I could just say,”

I'll be from Arkansas. Yeah. We from Arkansas. So to me. Yeah, he said lingerin long, but die you must. That's right. At a time, I make a monkey he ran pepper. You know, he had these great, southern things to say, think about that. That's nice. That's right. It's tough for me to figure out, but I like it. Yeah, chicken egg number to bird and bush and egg number chewed up grass. That was my dad, right? So to me, if I, if I, if I feel,

I'm lingering, I will make it get away. You know, yeah, lingering after you hook up, right? Because that's a great time. If a lady escaped after that, I'd be like, that's why. Plinging this is a problem. Yeah. Yeah. To me, I, I kind of resist, maybe I'm, you think I'm, uh, commit with fall. When you say fellas on my team, I'm a commit with fall. Well, listen, I believe in love. I believe in monogamy. I'd like to get married another time.

But I, I believe marriage is till death do as part. I'll talk about it in my show. But I,

“I want to go through the courtship. Like I believe you should not live with a man in the house.”

And I could be married to a guy and not live in a house until we're ready to live together. Because that's what fucks up the relationship. In my opinion, when you rush, co-habitation, and you're not ready. So for me, like if I, I'm back in my one and done days, sleep with a guy, I would like wait for him to go to sleep and I would just borrow my clothes up and sneak out the hotel. It's wonderful. But nothing better than waking up and being like, oh, nice.

And if I met his house, I would sneak out the house and put my car in reverse and let it coast out.

No, no. Hey, Kyle, do you remember that time that I put the young handsome man basketball do?

“Yeah, and then what did I do? Did not call you and I said, and I was like, why are you whispering?”

I said, I was like, oh, oh, oh, I said, come get the luggage and you was like, why are you whispering? Shh. Come get the luggage and don't let the elevator ding because I'm right next to the elevator because I didn't want to see that pitiful looking y'all face when the woman leaves. I was like, come get the luggage. You know that pitiful face is fake, right? That's it. You know that's fake. No, so we go and say it. Oh, don't leave it.

Look, something looks sad. They live while you leave it. No, that's fine.

I thought we were going to go get said need at that. No, no, no, no. I like my life. That's good. No, we should do with dating show. I have been rarely talking about it, but yeah.

“Was it no? Because I think women need to hear what men really feel.”

Yeah, nothing. See, I think I do feel something. I just don't believe that women are going to listen. But yeah, so you can't be vulnerable to a lady. She'll hold against you forever.

That's not the right role. I saw you cry. You bitch.

Okay. Okay. What sporting event did you cry in? Show me. Thank you. That's right. Oh, who gets the scholarship to walk on? Oh, that's every time. It was over. Down to them guys hitting threes. Yeah, makes you cry. It makes you hit it. He's crying. Put in a guy in. Yeah, special needs to go on the bench. Come in.

“Hit a couple of threes. Yeah, fuck. That's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. So why can't you cry in it?”

I could. Yeah. Even to one tier. That's nice. Yeah. I'm okay with that. If she's smart, she won't rag you for it. She'll understand. He does have humanity. Yeah. But shut the fuck up. Sometimes. Bitches, you ain't got to say everything that it's due. Just notice everything. That'd be nice. Yeah. Yeah. I feel I feel the lot. I feel a lot of feedback myself. Yeah, you get some feedback. A lot of feedback. Really? Yeah. A lot of feedback. See, I just don't think. I don't think we need to

talk about everything. You know, sometimes when a man is ready to talk to you, be ready to listen. And sometimes don't answer back. Just because it's listening to him and not go. Yeah. Wonderful. I got it. But sometimes I'll say, are you cool? Are we cool? Are we still together? Are you cool? I feel like you need some time behind you before you can eat the proverbial pepper of just not bothering a guy. That hard time plus distance equals clarity. Yes. I'm going to leave

you alone so that I don't shoot you. Right. I'm going to let you have your space. As you're talking to me crazy, you know, you kind of flagrant right now. I know you mad about some bullshit. I didn't know that was your father. My father asked you in my face. It's listening. You listen to a guy. Also, figure out what he eats. Figure out what his comfort zone is. Make that great, because then he's going to make everything great for you. 100%. Happy home, peace of mind.

Makes him mad. Yeah, it's true. That's right. Me and the mayor lives together. So were you fun? Were you fun? Were you fun? The man of your dreams. That's me. He doesn't make anything. The mayor hasn't cooked one. Actually, he made chicken out for right now. That was nice. This chicken curry in May are from a week ago. That's in that fucking jug in there. Throw that out. That's been fucking disgusting. Come on. He's got a jug of fucking chicken curry in there.

Fucking gross. I didn't know where to put it. Throw it out. Throw it out. But how are we doing? That's good. Yeah. All right. Thank you very much, sure. Thank you for all me. Thank you. I was stoked when I heard you're coming on. Yeah, this is awesome. Yeah. Look forward to working with you guys. That's this work together. Truly bring the country together. I love that. Do it. I want to. Good stuff.

Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify. Do it.