Ep 617 - Irish Good Morning

- Dude, I just blew my fucking mind.

I had to talk to somebody about it. - No, I'd like to hear about it. - Chuck E. Cheese is no longer, it's not a,

“I think Bargazzi actually has a joke about it.”

Or maybe he'd drunk about how scary it was, but like, you know, we all know that he has a Chuck E. Cheese. I was like talking to my kids, like, yo, guys, it might be a little scary in here. They have fucked up looking mice,

dancing and shit on the stage. You can do a Chuck E. Cheese now, no animatronics. - Screen, the 2D, brother. - I know. But if you look, if you, I like YouTube,

the old Chuck E. Cheese, like, maybe I was just like, making it up, it's more fucked up than you could imagine. - Old Chuck E. - Yes, it's so scary. I like it was YouTube and people at the party, like, this is what it used to look like.

- And did they change it, you think? - I think maybe in the, what's so kind of call it, the OTS? - Yeah, the early OTS. - It'd be the early OTS.

(laughing) - Yeah, I bet they changed it when five nights in Freddy's or what's that called?

Five nights in Freddy's, like a little kid video game

where the animatronic thing has come to life at night. - And kill you? - I bet when that, 'cause that was a hit. - Yeah, I bet. - I bet bringing the kids to the actual animatronics

is probably chaos in the Chuck E. Cheese. - If he tear of 2012, when it had five nights come out, oh, that was later. - That would be crazy. - I'm not sure if you could go in.

- Yeah, this is a good theory.

“I have another, my brother gave me a really good theory recently.”

What is it? - Shons are like it. It's about how smoke breaks. So people don't go out anymore and like stand with each other in smoke cigarettes

and he thinks it's having like a fucking us up. Like we don't know how to like chill. - Yeah. - So that was the whole rhythm baked into the day where like every my God, let's step outside.

All the bros have to like hang out together for a while, puffs, pigs, talk about whatever. 'Cause really like you and a bunch of people would sit there all catch the nicotine buzz at the same time and it's like a really nice bomb.

- Yeah, it's a nice combo. It's like a part of our life that now we miss... - Yeah, now everyone else works from home too. - Hey, you know everything. - Don't even get the around the water cooler.

- Don't even get it. - Which aren't the water cooler's a myth, by the way.

I've never, I've been in office twice.

I never once got the chat around the water cooler. - No. - Kitchen microwave. - It's what you chill. - Microwave and coffee.

- That's where you chill. - Yes. - Water cooler myth. - It's where you come in and see your weird manager. You have a tub or anything going on.

- Jesus Christ. - It's microwaveing soggy. - Please think about him making that at home.

“I think it was lonely fucking toxic guy.”

- Adam. - Yeah. - Yeah, you start to see a little bit. You're like, "Yeah, fuck this guy's sad too." - Yeah, he's still a fucking asshole.

- Yeah, everyone's. - This is kind of embarrassing. Ah, fuck it, I'll say it. It's kind of a tyrant man or whatever. This morning I woke up being a...

I was just laying in bed trying to be depressed. Like I was like, (laughing) I was laying in bed like... - Yeah, and dude, my parents were in like their twenties when they had my family and like...

I'm fucking old. Like my kids aren't even in like 38 and instead of having kids, I just... I did pretty good. (laughing)

Got myself. I was trying to be like, "I didn't do shit with my life." And it took me as I could be like, "Actually, she's just pretty sick." Dude, nice.

(laughing) - That's so funny. - Your Irish jeans in the morning were like, "It's just so much trouble." - Yeah, so much trouble.

- So much trouble. - It's so much trouble. (laughing) - I should've had kids. I'm gonna die, I don't know, it's fucking...

- Instead of pissed away my life. - No, I actually had a good life. (laughing) - Yeah, fuck yeah. - It is funny when I got out of bed.

I was like, "Nice, it's a good start." (laughing) - It is nice trying to run the old program and it's being like, "I fucked up with stupid shit." You look around and you're like, "What are we gonna do today?"

- That's fucking awesome. - Fuck, it's fucking awesome. - We're gonna look at house. (laughing) - Look at this dumb fucking house.

It was damn it, bullshit, house. - It's kind of... - This is the coolest house I've ever seen. - Fuck. - Fuck a natural redwood fucking floorless shit.

- Actually, kind of sick now. (laughing) - I did mean the marriage just went and looked at the house. - How was it? - The miracle of the marriage has to come with me.

- Who was gonna check out the new digs? - Now he was checking out the house more than me. - I bet. - But yeah, it's a little bit specter. - I had, like I've walked in

and the ladies trying to tell me how everything works, so I'm just like, "Talk to him." - I'm never gonna. (laughing) - Do you get gay couple foby every now and again?

- Yes, the neighbor who could do the neighbors, the man. What? - The neighbors, the man. - Fuck, that came outside, shirtless. - Yes.

- But he used to play ball at Texas. - What? - Yeah, he's an old alignment, came out with this big dog, a dog was with him, that was great. - God, that's what he was just like,

at the end he was like, "So who's thinking about moving in here?" I was like, "Yeah, he's like, "Where are the women?" It's just, it's just you and that black guy. (laughing)

Worst nightmare, he had a, he had like, "Yeah, blue lives matter, shit on his truck."

He's just an interracial gay couple being like,

(laughing) "This is a fabulous neighborhood." (laughing) He could be a problem. He was just, that was the discussion that caught it.

That's the type of guy that, yeah, could eventually mean it. I might have to have a shootout with him in his dogs. (laughing) - Eventually.

- What do you do with boys? - I think we'll be boys, boy, you're thinking boys are enemies.

“- I think that guy's down to fucking pull out the blikky.”

- What? - I think he'll pull it out of it. One second. - Whoa, down the blikky. - Oh, my God. - Anything, probably noise.

- Yeah, the married guy to Sted's treas lightly around there. - He was shirtless. (laughing) - Long-worn strong, strong-worn divisor. (laughing) - He's a legend. (laughing) He could be a real issue.

- That's, I mean, that's crazy. Also, what do you think he was, tackle a guard? 'Cause you guys could form the online, they were the other neighbors.

- True, the music, the music's detail, though.

- Yeah. - He doesn't have the online build. - Damn. - Doesn't have the length, but you do have a good nose guard. Nate's grown in an offensive guard. (laughing)

Nate went from DB to O'Line. (laughing) - Nate's fight at a higher weight class right now. Damn, that's crazy. - Yeah, he seems like the man.

- Yeah. - I don't want to be smurred, yeah, whatever. - The lady, the real estate lady was like, I think he was. - Tricks.

- I was like, me too. (laughing) I was like, I think that's the guy's gonna be my fucking boy. (laughing) - He's older, he's an older gentleman.

He blocks for Earl Campbell. - What? - A Texas, which is, oh, shhhh, yeah. - What's the fancy boy? - This is hardly a fence.

- Yeah, it's what the whole house is, my house is, that I would buy to be like, just glass. - Thank you. - It's me and La Mare naked. - It's just a different level.

- Two different fat naked guys. (laughing) - Maybe you guys will get you. I'm sure he's prancing around as well. - I think, yeah.

- Damn.

“- I think I might have the most vicious,”

three way of all time. (laughing) That would end the world. (laughing) - La Mare and that old guy had sex.

- It's like the Hadron Clyde. - Yeah. - It would create the god party. - Yeah, boy. (laughing)

- I mean, that's, of all of them. - It would be a triple heart attack. (laughing) - It could be a simultaneous. - Feeling like when they find those like rat,

like rat nests or those gold and they all get stuck, I'm rat, yeah. - Oh my, it's all stuck. - It's stuck together and dead. (laughing)

- All right. - God damn. - This episode is brought to you by prize picks. The regular season's done in the NBA Playoffs are here. Time to get in on the action with the prize picks,

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Promo's board, prize picks, a preferred partner of the NBA. - What are the odds though? - Just an absolute beast. - Perfect to neighbors. - O line neighbor.

- Yeah. - Humble too. - Humble man.

- So I always liked about the O line.

I was so humble in the O line. - You have to be humble. - Checking the quarterback, I'd be like, "With my fucking life, I'm to die for it." - Yeah, this is no one ever so breaks you guys.

I'm like, "If you keep talking like this, I'm gonna come. I was only like 10." (laughing) - I was only 10, but I was already like, "This feels so good."

- It feels good. - Be like, dude, nobody even notices. You're the silent hero. I was like, "Yeah, I guess you're kind of right, Coach." - You have always been kind of a quiet hero.

- Although dude, makes sense though. You have like a 37 year old dad be like, "Nobody appreciates you guys." - You're like, "That's supposed to be the most fulfilling thing." - You're working your ass off, no one even notices.

- Yeah. - Fuck. - It's nice. - Football coaches really must be so fucking sweet. - I only got to do it one year, but it was awesome.

- You did? - Yeah. - Got to call a place. This is really fun. - Oh, you're a coordinate.

- It was up in the booth, dude. - Shit. - What were you, what was your style? - It was early, we were on the read option. We were, it was, we were a little head of our time.

- Yeah, yeah. - High school? - Or is that like, I don't know, eighth grade. - Read option, eighth grade. - We had some talent to ball players.

- Shit. - We had some guys out there. - Yeah. - Try not do pickle. - Shout out Danny J.

Shout out Narb. - What up? - I'm scared. - I'm scared. - Shout out Jay, what up boys?

- I'm still sweating. I ran the option when I played beach football, like five months ago, and it was beautiful. Faked it, they bought it. - I ran it.

- I fumbled. - I'm still thinking about that fumbled. Good to change the whole game. - Where'd you fumbled? - We were in the red zone.

- I was like, I got us into the red zone, fumbled.

'cause after our show, somebody into a girl,

“which also regret, might be that video game fumbled.”

- Oh, it was for you. - Damn. (laughing) - Now it's real. - Yeah.

- Ooh, that's just a tough one. - Totally got good burdenes. - What do you got? - I have seen some rents kicking around. They're out in the, they're out behind there.

- Are they really? - But I hawk two hawks have moved in. Not into the Bud Lightbox, but just right here. - They're hawking. - There's two hawks, it's very exciting.

- Yeah. - Some red shoulder to hawks. - Wow, it's just about the ask for the idea. - Yeah, red shoulder to hawks. - Fuck, dude.

- I don't know if they come to Texas, but yeah. - You had shoulder. - How'd you idea? - You went off.

- Yeah, but it was pinged in like Pennsylvania.

- Gotcha. - Yeah. - Some picture real friend and they, A.I. did. - Your phone, your phone can do it. - Yeah, I could have done it, but they did it for me.

- Just send them a picture of the hawk. I should check this shit out. - It's more satisfying, honestly. - That's, again, that's most of my day. I was just standing in the pool.

- Just looking at the hawk, good. - I gotta send this to my bull, is dude. - Get me the idea on the hawks. Now, especially, that owl you had was... - Bro, burrowing owls, endangered species.

I had the privilege of being, I was walking around, they were everywhere. And dude, I, I was, I mean, this was a huge moment for me. - Someone's a daytime, dude. - The burrowing owls are all daytime.

- That's stuff. - I know. - I think that's good luck. - I mean, dude, I must be, well, I could use it right now. I'm down right now, but I could use it.

- I'm down to the dumps. - I'm sorry. - All right, just run the program. (laughing) Just run the Irish Morty program. - Yeah, I'm so down, my dog thinks they're so terrible.

- No, I'm chillin' but the owls were... No, I'm perfectly fine, but the owls were really nice, man. They were really, they were pumping me out. - It's funny that every episode of the wheels are just flying, and mostly, for the last 10 years,

we both just been like, "No, I'm actually doing good." - Things are good right now. It's been fucking nuts for you. - Totally fine, fully like a draw. Everything's cool. - Everything's completely fine.

- My life's not a giant house of cards, I can collapse. - It is. - It is, it is. (laughing) - But yeah, do the owls? I got to, 'cause I was there, Brittany goes,

“- That's what the bird, that's what the bird's come into play.”

- Bank time, dude. - See some birds, you guys are gonna be all right. - Dude, it was birds during the day. Night time, my dad has a fish light. So out near the dock, he's on like the bay

and Florida, out near the dock, it's green light illuminates, and you just throw a chicken into the water. Rob, no, I show these guys, maybe 25 catfish. - This is warm, and they pop,

they will come up to their like whiskers breach, and then they gobble it up and fly down. - That's awesome. - It's through, I was living by burrow owls, and then obviously lizards were carrying me through this.

- This is great. - And then it was the catfish at nighttime, and it was just so, it was so nice. I also I did, I remembered the owls, by the way. Brittany tried to say,

"Oh, they can turn their head 360 degrees." I was like, "I think it's 270." Looked it up, it's too fucking 70, bro. - Holy shit. - 270.

- I think. - That felt good. - Clocking your bitch with a two-seven. (laughing) - I mean, oh, you can tell me about owls?

- Yeah, it was this. - Yeah, and then I was like, "Well, they could do, they did degrees,

the head degrees is incredible.

O'Connor saw the hawk when he came over yesterday, it was like, look, it's head, it's moving in about. - Week. - Like, I'm not kidding, like, the first these have was the degrees of the head tan.

(laughing) - That's the best thing about it, becoming an old man, you get to start just being like, that's a silver bircher over there, that's pretty nice. - My dad.

- My dad's in case it's crazy. - I'm getting pretty nasty at the trees, trees, and native flowers, and I'm getting pretty good at it. - It's killing me. I wanna put some fucking shit out your front, so bad.

- It's blank. - What? - You have a whole blank? - Oh, yeah, that, yeah. That's every week, I'm like, I'm gonna go deeper,

and just load it. - It's plant, like, nine different things. - When I moved here, they did have landscaping out front. - Must not happen. - Must not be sprinkled.

- This should just become old man, Home Depot talk. - Probably I don't got a sprinkled out there, I've had it again. - There is a sprinkler. - Is there a sprinkler, isn't it?

- Yeah, it's nice. - I'm gonna dig that up and see where the lines are. (laughing) - We're gonna check one down. (laughing)

- I'm just low-sluffin. With the smart and loud uran von Garmin, you have everything in the place. Heard the frequency, the sensitivity, the dance. Directly to the handlebar.

And if you want to get more structure,

“you need to find the training plan of the game in Runcoach.”

Egal, where the garage is located. One corner in Schlaf, Stress and Errolung helps you to understand how the garage is going. Tag for Tag, Schritt for Schritt. Start a game with Garmin.

- Oh yeah, dude, it Florida was sick though, man. I was just paddleboarding on the bay. It was the best. - That's awesome. - Although I got on the paddleboard,

I left it outside the sun, like a dickhead.

So the one I went too far and I was like,

I'll be fine.

“I was like splashing water to cool down,”

but it was hot on my feet, the entire time. I had to burn my feet on it. But it was nice. I got lost too. I got lost, a little, I got lost enough

to where I had to really try to find the house. - Well, paddleboarding? - Yeah, I went out as a canal. So it's all like, you go and twist and turns and I was going to go all the way out to the bay

and then I was like, that's gonna fire. And then I just like turned around, came down. I was like, dude, I feel almost. - Yeah. - So I was one teaky hut, and I was like,

that's my landmark when I came back, there was nine teaky hut. - Everyone has a teaky hut. - Fuck. - Fuck.

- So I was cool, I got, I got the feel, the feeling of land hoe. - We go as a whisper. - Oh, you got a smart switch. - You got a free day.

You think the, do you think the spurs of a chance? - Yeah. - Right, they have a, a real chance. - That would, I actually, I went to, I'm pulling for a man.

- Trying to get some tickets to the spurs game tonight. - The arena is probably the loudest I've ever heard like a basketball game when I went to see six years of our spurs. They were, those, those, the lads go crazy.

- The lads, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - The lads are going wild. - Running the lads a lot lately.

- Have you really? - Yeah. - And out in public, and they've all been very, like, you know, the lads are with you. The lads fuck me.

- Dude, the lads, yeah. - The lads might be our strongest demo.

“- I, I think they're for real, very up there.”

- They fuck with the secret. - They do. - Did you really? - He saw a lad in the movie theater? What happened?

- I was playing the claw machine waiting for my movie and he went, "Gardini." (laughing) And then I went, "What's up, man?" And he went, "Oh fuck, does actually you?"

And I was like, "Yeah, all right, yeah." I went and saw him. - Good to see the foods. - Yeah. - He was a nice guy. - The lads and the foods.

- Yeah, that's nice. The lads are start, and they do tell you.

They always tell you the swear allegiance to go,

"Yo, we fucked with you, man." - That's very nice. - Dude, you have no idea how much that pleases me. - It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a finicky demo, man.

Not everyone thinks they can capture the heart of the lads, the hearts of the lads, but it's, they're complex creatures. - Yep. - Everyone thinks, "Oh, I'm gonna get the lads."

Every politician's like, "Well, Latino vote." It's like, "Brow." - Talk to me. - Yeah, we'll talk about it. - We'll tell you how it's done. - We'll tell you how it's done.

- Yeah, we'll tell you how it's done. - Yeah, they killed Tony at the lads, too. - Yeah, killed Tony at the lads, too. - Yeah, killed Tony at the lads, too. - Lads, like wild shit.

(laughing) - Yeah, they're the fucking Aztecs and lions, dude. - True. - They're warriors. - Exactly.

- Also I'm fluffing the lads, they're love here in that shit. (laughing) - No, the lads, they are very like, I mean, the memes are the best, when like the, the red pill blue pill for the lads

become like a, like an extreme magic trump conservative or just like a black guy. - Red pill blue pill.

- Then basically it's like, you become like David Duke

or David Duke. (laughing) - Yeah, I'll be excited if we go to San Antonio tonight. - Yeah. - Yeah, I'll be exciting stuff.

- That'd be nice. - You gotta watch though. - I'm gonna be excited to see Jared McCain. When I go, "That's my man." (laughing)

- You also gotta be careful, you don't get grabbed and hugged on like that Mexican president. They're seeing when the lady got hugged on. - You see when the lady got hugged on? - The lads, like, it's like, it's like, it's gonna grow.

- If you get a parochial? - If Nates with me, Nates getting. - Oh, you've got a jump in front of it, dude. If your lad comes to grow from like the Mexican president. - I'll take the group.

(laughing) - Guys, I'll take the group. - What would you throw at 'em throw that ass at 'em? (laughing) - I can only go so far with you.

(laughing) - I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't say off. - Yeah, I can't say off. - The allegations are bad, dude. - Yeah, that slim, good, that slim, good, he sunk you, dude.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Slim, good, he got you. - I didn't know Brittany was a massive fan of Sherlockides. - I'm sure I'm gonna wipe out. I'm thinking of fucking my fucking mate,

but yeah, you got Bobby Kennedy on the mind. - I got Bobby Kennedy on the mind. - After you grabbed those snakes and you see that video? - Again, he grabbed snakes. - He grabbed snakes.

- Yeah, it's pretty wild. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah. - There's a snake in there. - Yeah.

- He did another one 'cause he did one a while back.

“Also, hey, that's how you get the lead vote.”

Grab a copper head from behind. - That's what I mean. Yo, this fool crazy. (laughing) - You got your fool crazy meter has to stay high.

- Yeah. - I gotta keep my fool crazy meter high at all times. - Can't let that shit dip then you're lame. (laughing) - It's fool crazy. - It's lame, man.

- You gotta stay. - You think the craziest fool is in our group? (laughing) I don't mean, like, be the (laughing) or a car or a car, might be the craziest.

That's a, he's loco. (laughing) - I mean, him claim in 280 on a hawk some crazy fool.

- Kawks don't have, first of all, hawks don't out turn house.

- That's crazy.

“- I wish it did have a pretty impressive movement.”

- Did it really? - Yeah. - We got to look that up. - You see, he had movement on a red shoulder talk. (laughing)

We're gonna need that. - 270 on now. I also was like, got the team on it all three. - Oh shit. - All three is struggling.

(laughing) - Two of them already went to Instagram. - Oh shit. 180. - I like that.

180's not bad, I was gonna say, it's no 270. There's no way. - Huh? - Wow. - What kind of hawk?

- Just a red shoulder. - So they can get at what? So they get 180, but if they don't move, you say they can get the 270? - Yeah, like if their stand makes still.

- You got some good, you might be a little out. - You got like 120, dude. That was crazy. - That was crazy. - Don't do that again.

(laughing)

“I did, the first thing I did when I was claiming 270”

was a girl outside and go, and just see how much I have. (laughing) - ours is pitiful. - The mayor, you might be possessed.

That had movement, you like the exercises. - No. - I had an inappropriate, we went to the zoo in Naples, like I was outside in Naples. We took my family to the zoo, and there was a tiger cage,

and no one could see the tiger. My kids were like, "I can't see it, where is it?" I'm like, "You know what trick for seeing tigers?" And they're like, "What is it?" I'll turn from the camera, I'm like, "Oh, no, no."

(laughing) - Jesus Christ. (laughing) - We are old men, and that's just an old dad racist to the zoo.

- Nobody left me. - Just my wife, half, they walked away. (laughing) I was like, "That was good." - That was good.

- That was a good one. - That was a good one. - I was a good one. I didn't see that one. I couldn't 40 years, it was a good one.

- We know you never get the opportunity to bust that out.

- Never get that out. - My kids were like, "How do you do it?" I hate them with it, and they're like, "What?" I was like, "Just keep going out." - There we go, they're breaking that out, and they're breaking that out.

They're gonna break that out in school. Obviously, another kid's gonna talk about tigers. At their age, tigers is like top five conversation pieces. - Yeah, I was a fun one. Hopefully I'd turn from the camera.

- I think we can, fuck it. - We can just blur, are we a black box? - We've already do. The black box already might don't do. - I don't know where his box is, how you open it.

- Pendulum, the pendulum, I mean. - I don't know where he's at. - Pendulum might be 270, Pendulum might be 270. - Pendulum might be 270. - It was funny 'cause I didn't realize,

I've been off the internet, so I didn't realize how massive the roast was. Until this morning, I saw a super cut of every single person, I'm like, "Oh, this one, like around the world, this one."

- Everyone was talking about that goddamn thing. - Doctor, I might call me a fucking neanderthal. - What? - Doctor, you might call me a neanderthal. - Tell him you want to see the Fredric Douglas,

Marcus Garvey Academy opened, and then you'll talk. - Ask him about the school. - Yeah, you're gonna get back to school? - Ask him about the school, I tried to get him on. He charges like fucking 10,000 bucks to go on.

- We should pay it. - It wouldn't be funny to you, yeah. - Yeah, really funny. - I actually, I like Dr. Rubel. - Yeah, so do I.

- I'm not just saying that, I enjoy watching him. I think he's hilarious. - Yeah. - When he does the things, when people can call in and send things in, yes.

- He reads his live chat and he blocks people. - It's the best. - It's awesome. - He gets to know it's funny because he reads what they said. - He knows, he's got to know.

- I want to see the school.

“- I mean, I think it's funny getting called a neanderthal.”

- Tell theirs. - I was all right with it. - Yeah. - Fucking kind of stuff. - I don't know if he's trying to be funny.

If he's actually upset, I apologize to Dr. Rubel. - I think he's smart, I think he knows, but he knows what place. - Probably edit this out, but I was thinking about purchasing his school, and naming it the Robert E. Lee school.

(laughs) - What? - It's only. (laughs) - I'm going to name it Neanderthal, Robert E. Lee.

(laughs) Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon, Academy. - What about school for the Aztec school for the lads? - Aztec school for the lads. - It's crazy.

- It'll be tight. - I think making it a Robert E. Lee, Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon's school for high learning, and then actually dumping a ton of money in it and making it really successful

and actually helping the community. Just as a bit, dude. (laughs) - That would be a good bit. - It's a good bit.

- I just want to see it open, man. I'm not trying to break the guy's balls, I just want to hear about the school for all of my girls. - Yeah, what happened with the school?

- It's just it's never opened.

It's been the fucking 10 year old open school. It's got to open the school. I mean, it starts before he starts coming out, you know. - Near the door. - He's sure he's watching the roast.

Get the school going through. - No, you're doing it.

That is, I don't know, it's a funny thing. It's a funny thing.

“Just have the school go out and be like,”

they ain't even wiped out by a girl, it's a girl. (laughs) You know that, after that. - No. - Wipe down his fucking accounts and he got hacked.

- Oh shit. - Okay, well, money ready to get the school go. They wiped out his damn accounts. - Somebody hacked him. - The fuck stole his money.

- It wasn't him. - You didn't spend it? - Yeah. - They also, some of the bits that keeps happening. - It's through it.

- I was like, no, I immediately donated it. - I don't want it. - He put the cash out by my meat. - He knew he smoked with the one I ate. (laughs)

- I've real genuinely enjoyed him. - I think he's fine. His, his, his just like vigilance on the snowball, he says, my favorite. - It's my favorite.

- Someone needs to stay fucking focused, man. - Oh yeah, he would, he's right there. - That's so many. (laughs) - Also, right back at you.

(laughs) - True, you know, you guys are both. Doctor, you're watching me. Doctor, you're watching like me, dude. (laughs)

- You guys. (laughs) - What the fuck? - True, true. I was even thinking of my own sins, damn.

Damn. (laughs) - I should get him on the, at the link. Let him just give a talk. - Please.

- Please. - No comedy, just give a nice five minute speech on me. - Chill, whiny. (laughs) - Get off stage.

(laughs)

- I mean, the boo would be 100 billion dollars.

(laughs) - He would love that boo. 80,000 honkies, boom 'em. (laughs) - He might have said, and he might start floating.

(laughs) - Might evolve. - He would evolve. - Just talking about it, dude. (laughs)

- You might just split in half. I could be too dark to do more. I think he could start multiplying, dude. 80,000 white boo's. He's gonna, ah. (laughs)

“- That's how I'll sharpen the long-salt that way. (laughs)”

- That was just split. (laughs) (laughs) (laughs) - They've been fucking killin' the link. (laughs) - So far you have sliders. (laughs)

- You forgot about the sliders, dude. - I forgot about the sliders. - Sliders in the background while we're, (laughs) it just does this thing, it'll be so nice. He's a principal in Africanism.

(laughs) - He is the best dude. - It is funny when someone's hating on you, it's like, "Did I love you?" - I love him.

- I love you, there's nothing you could say. I fucking love you. I've watched, I've really had watched so much of it stuff. - Yeah. - He must have been with those guys.

- He's making fun of you, it's very funny. - He's awesome. He's, for real, one of my favorite breakfast club, guess. - Yeah, he's awesome. - He's amazing.

- No.

- I've never really seen him do anything I didn't,

I think it was awesome. - Every single time I see him, I'll fucking it. (laughs) - I have the same thing for the honorable, which I'm gonna call it.

- Mr. Faker, Faker? - Faker? - I fucking do it. - I love Faker. - Sorry, I just, I watched him go.

- He got it. - He's so funny. - Yeah. - I've talked about it before. He won Donnie here in the '90s.

It was maybe the best TV thing I've ever seen, appearance I've ever seen anyone do. - Whether you just have him with Nazis. - No, it's him and is, no, it's just him, ripping and just talking.

And he has all of his nation of Islam guys standing there, both eyes, standing real militant. But he's just 90s, well, there's just 90s, housewives being like, you know, who lay out his grievances and they'll be like,

"Go back to Africa if you're so upset." (laughs) No, that's the bullshit I'm talking about. (laughs) But it wasn't even like, how dare you.

He's like, that's exactly what he just keeps going on. And then he hits this Jewish lady. I didn't know he had a problem with the Jews, until I watched that clip. And he, she brought it up and I just watched him go,

I have some stuff for this and he just fucking goes in and like, yeah. - Yeah, that's one of his big grievances. - Yeah, he's, yeah, beefing, beefing with him. - Yeah.

- He rules, I mean, dude, you can't deny talent when you see it. When I see Farak on a girl, that's a talented guy. Sorry. - Of course. - Yeah, I separate the art from the artists. I got to town to fucking guy.

- Yeah. - I like what he does. - Sorry. - Honestly, it's kind of impressive more black guys are not as racist. If we were allowed to just be extremely racist.

- Yeah. - We had our day in the sun. - Black guys are just allowed to be racist. - Yeah, completely. - They don't pretty good job not doing it.

“- It's pretty, it is pretty impressive, honestly.”

It's pretty impressive. - I was thinking of my side being both eye glasses. (laughing) - Fucking immediately. - It's so fun, you know what?

- Would you say you pink pig bitch? (laughing) - The awesome.

- Yeah, that is pretty amazing to not,

- Yeah, go, good. - Full force. - It's pretty amazing. But I think too, I don't know, maybe it's like, you know, you're kind of like, you know what? Let me put down the sword.

If you've been nicked with the sword a couple of times you go, maybe I won't wield the sword myself, it's hard. Although I would just come back 10 times harder. (laughing) - Yeah, it's so funny just knowing

you'd be pure bean pies right off the bat.

- People don't talk about the black Muslim enough.

I miss them, I have, I have a scene of black Muslim texts. There are so many in Philly and they are, some of the, they're, they're red. - Yeah, they're red. - Black Muslims are fucking red.

I still work with this black Muslim guy. He was, I worked with many black Muslims, not bragging. But the one guy I worked with was for real one of my fucking favorites. He put me onto this television show,

why do I bend the word show? Do you ever see the 100? - No, I did, he hiked me on this show. I ended up watching two seasons

“and was just, I remember you watching it.”

It's, he was like brother show. He was talking like this shit is gonna, this is it. I watched it, dude, the premise is sick, then you watch it and you're like,

this is the gay shit I've ever seen. (laughing) - It's one of those, I've actually, it's 7, 7 seasons and I do at some point when I watched the finale of the 7 seasons.

Just to see where they went with it. We kind of found it. This episode is brought to you by Bluetooth. Oh yeah, fellas, let me introduce you to the Bluetooth Gold.

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“I think we just released a bunch of new tickets.”

So it's almost sold out. So here you up. - Guys, 65, that is June five, June six. I'll be at the Summit City Comedy Club Fort Wayne, Indiana. But then I'll be in Spokane Comedy Club,

813, 2026, 814, 2026, Spokane Comedy Club. And there's a bunch more dates coming. They should be on my website. I'm not for some reason. I'm gonna dig into that and update you guys.

Good amount of custer.com. - Anything good? Have you watched anything good? - Yeah. - I watched train dreams.

- Oh, the Dennis Johnson book. - Yeah, I guess. - Yeah, yeah. - It's the guy. - Yeah, in the beginning they didn't have them

throw the Chinese guy off the cliff, do they? - Yeah, they did. - They did. - Yeah. - Okay, 'cause I know they did that in the beginning of the book.

But did he help? - He slightly helps. He helps legs and he's kind of saying like, what do you do? Like, why are you guys doing this? But he's still kind of like grabs his legs.

- Got you. - But then gets kicked off and then they throw them. - Okay. - And did the Chinese guy die in the movie? - Yeah.

- 'Cause he does in the book he doesn't. - Yeah, I haven't finished it yet. - Clamber's on my nerves. - Oh, my nerves. - What do they throw 'em?

- They throw 'em off a bridge.

“- Yeah, I think he like in the book just catches the thing”

and just kind of like clamber's away. - They don't show you, they definitely don't show 'em survive. - Okay. - Yeah, it was funny in the book 'cause he just just walking home and he's like,

"Well, they throw 'em in a Chinese guy off a cliff." And they're like, you know, he doesn't even, then he does it. He's like, "Oh, that's kind of fucked up, I shouldn't have done it." - Yeah, yeah.

- I don't know why I was so eager to help that guy. Pretty sick. How far, how far into it, are you? - Two-thirds. - Okay.

- Yeah. - Yeah, it gets kind of freaky there. - Yeah, it gets so far, it's pretty sad. - 'Cause it's a sad issue. - I didn't think it was gonna be that sad.

- No, I had it recommended. I'm like, "Oh, cool, you know, like I like the time period and then like right away I was like, "Oh fuck, yeah, it's pretty devastating." - They'll find her. - Yeah.

- Not in the woods. - No, nothing good happens in the woods. - Yeah, that was pretty good. You don't want to surprise him, I rewatched recently and I was actually wasn't a fan, was Wolf Wall Street.

- I thought I loved that movie and I rewatched it,

and I'm like, "The whole fucking first 45 minutes is like,

"Nin, I got pussy." Then I got pussy again and they tell you how much drugs we did. - Oh, yeah, and it was like, dude, I was watching. I was like, "I still love this movie. "I watched it as an elder man."

I was like, "This fucking guys are punks." - Yeah, the punks. - Yeah. - It was also like, it was just, I was watching it with Brittany,

so I'm kind of like, "All right, he's blowing cocaine up her butt "with a strong shirt, he's not a nut like." - What is this? - Yeah, it's like, "Oh, it's a good movie "and then it was just 40 straight minutes to be like,

"and then she sucked my fucking dick." - And I was like, "Tonys, it's a comedy." - Yeah, so you watched it as the skies of fucking morons. - Yeah, true, and it's, I'll tell you what, then we watched a legend of "Bagger Vance."

- Yeah.

- It was like, "This is much better."

And I was like, "Dude, I'm not gonna lie. "This is much better." - Not even gonna hate. This is, I mean, I thought the wolf of Wall Street was like one of the best, if you had asked me before

that, I'm like, "Yeah, it was one of my favorite movies." - Yeah. - "Brew watch it."

“I was like, "I think it was the setting you ran."”

- Yeah, I think that'll affect it. - For sure. - Oh babe, just going this movie is kind of fucking me. - Yeah. - It's kind of, this movie is gonna affect my night, 'cause it's not my wife's gonna be like,

"Is that what you wanna do?" (laughing) - No, of course not. (laughing) I would hate that, just getting a thought of pussy

and doing Coke with my friends and being extremely rich. So it's solid. - No, I like this. - When he was talking about, like, fucking his cousin and like, what they would do with the retardity case

and I throw it out in the woods, I was just like, in the bed and like, "It's just looking okay, everybody, it gets better." (laughing) - This is a weird point. - Dude crack.

(laughing) - All right, good have been setting you're right. Good have been setting you're right, good have been setting. But I genuinely was like, you know what, this is, this is kind of getting old, man.

- Yeah, with the fuck. - Bag of answers, it's just next level. - Bag of answers, Moses. - Moses. - No, he threw us.

I never saw a bag of answers, it was amazing.

I thought the movie was about Will Smith crushing it at golf. - No. - The whole time.

“I thought Will Smith just crushed it and golf.”

And not the case. - No. - But is he just a catty, a scatty? - Secret catty, super spiritual catty. - Yeah.

- It's all about the field. - It was kind of sick though. - Bag of answer, two thumbs up. Both Washery dude. - No.

- It was just, I was like, no you're right, this is just to give it a rewatch. - It's too much, too much and it's too much of that like, I know what you're thinking. Me and my boys are crazy.

That was, that was big door, what is it called? - Not fake club, fucking. - Onto, yeah, Onto Roger's big end. And what was the snatch? That was that big like, this is a crazy thing.

Let her see it. - Yeah, it would be like, yeah. - It's crazy, it does a lot though. - Yeah, he always does it. - Yeah, I mean, he's a master, obviously I'm not gonna,

I just, he felt it's hold up though. - Good fellas is great, it's great. - Every time. - Yeah, good fellas get confused 'cause when I lived with Tommy, he would watch it every night.

- That should make him understand. - He's drunk watching a good fellas. It's okay, watch it every now and then, I understand. - Yeah. - You're drunk, it's one of the best movies.

- You're drunk. - It's so good. - Just toss it on? - Yeah. - Yeah, no, I'm getting old, I was watching him like,

this is fucking crass, this is very crass. - Sterbings, crude. - It was crude, it was crude, it was very crude. - There's no two ways about it man. - Yeah, then he had, yeah, you know what,

you're totally right, there's just him jerk of walls. - Just him leaving his wife and fucking fuck you, it's just taking him like, that's not good stuff. - That's crazy. - 'Cause it's crap.

- All right, turn this crap off. I don't even, they dream about stuff like that. That's crazy. - Put on bagger vans, yeah. - I'm gonna start watching bagger vans watch the notebook.

- Yeah, that's good. - That's good. - So your husband dies, yeah. That's what you hear. (laughing)

“- That's what's, it was running chocolate back.”

But yeah, I was, I was, I was moving out, you know. I was just crushing movies every night.

- A million dollar baby, that was a sad one.

- I don't think I've ever seen that. - MDB is sad bro. - Yeah. - And it's funny 'cause I knew, are you familiar like kind of with the plot line?

- Yeah. - So I kind of knew what was coming. Bernie had no clue. So she's like, you know, like, oh, she's gonna take over and beat the champ and I was just like,

kind of, we'll see. - Well, that's what happened to me. Watchin' fucking train series. I was like, man, this guy's life is awesome. (laughing)

I was like, let's go to bed, like, what the fuck was that? (laughing) - It's sad as hell. - I could have been why I woke up with the Irish good morning.

- And that'll do it. - Yeah. - I, yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, it was good morning, it was like,

like a cheery piece of shit, air-life, cinchambles. - Those of my mom hit me up the other day, which is the worst news about people I don't even know. I was like, thanks, that's horrible. That's absolutely horrible, don't you think?

I guess this is a little grim. - Well, yeah, this is, I don't need this right now. - Yeah, I'll be right back. - No, I'm gonna walk my mama call and just be like, their kids, not doing good.

(laughing) - Oh my god. - Who? - Who are these people? - It's a girl I used to work with.

(laughing) - Look at the fucking 90s. (laughing) - Well, do they live around us? It's like that they're in Kentucky now.

- You just call and to tell me about a terrible tragedy. (laughing) - You can't talk here right now. (laughing) (laughing)

It's like, all right, mom, I'm gonna go, oh, okay. - All right, we have we talked for too long. (laughing) - Oh my god. (laughing)

- I mean, they gotta offload that 'cause that does get crazy. You're getting older and older to when like, I think I know like, I don't know. How many people you know, your age range that died. It's been like, not a ton, not too many, not too many.

But, yes, they get to the age where it's like,

And all you can do is party at the beach, party hard.

Just stay tuned to the Fox News, parrot the shit. - Yeah, we have to bomb our end. - I mean, bro. - Then we'd bomb them again yesterday.

- Yeah, yeah. - I think so, gotta be done. - Oh, here we go. - Another one? - There's a Trump fart video.

(laughing) - There's another fart video that's drunk. - Semile. - Semile ink. - Yeah, don't cut it out.

- Yeah. - Yeah, it's fart's a crazy thing. - There was a lot of farts on both sides of the aisle for a while. - Yeah.

- It's farted. - It's farted myself. (laughing) - It's farting your introverts.

“- I mean, doesn't he like crush Mickey D's at shit?”

- I saw he just get out of the hospital or something that he did a checkup or whatever. - It was all amazing. - Yeah, I'm sure everything was great.

- Everything was fucking amazing.

Dude, you sure up as hell. - It's also an 80 in crossing McDonald's. The Forts must be fucking chaos dude. - Yeah. - Yeah there's got, well you're 80 there's got to be parts

you that are kind of dead already. - Everything. - You're like a pirate to the carabine guy. There's a real, we gotta get, I gotta get. - Hey, dude, I have it right here.

- Damn, it's like an old like, it's an old uh... - Yeah. - Nixon Mike, I'd like to see it. - That'd be crazy. If that was, if that was his secret Nixon recordings

there was just like, just work, just nonstop parts. - Oh my god, dude, let me see. - Yeah, dude. (upbeat music) - I mean, is that to me how they call on me

is respectable of true. (laughing) - So what? - You're just--

“- Dude, the people in front, not dying like that.”

(laughing) - You can't be real. - They're trained, they're trained dude. - No one knows you can't be trained for that. (laughing)

- You're living that part? No one on earth can survive that. - Yeah. - Yeah, the Forts, the political like Forts mirrors are crazy. (laughing)

- 'Cause it's like, you have no way of proving. I mean, sure enough. - Those, yeah, and that was recorded from a fucking disc. - Yeah, no, you have the, there's no way. - If that's real, that's awesome.

- Yeah, yeah, what? - He's outside, it looked like. - Yeah, but he was behind the column and I'm saying to acoustics of the old... - You out of believe, dude.

- Yeah, that's the limit, that's the limit, dude. - That's the limit, dude. - That's the limit, dude. - That's the limit, dude. - That's the limit, dude.

- Oh, he pooped, he pooped his pants. (laughing) - Yeah. - Smells like a 39 count felon. (laughing)

“- Yeah, there was a major, AOC was getting levied”

to Forts, AOC apparently had Forts. Trump had Forts. Biden apparently shit himself. There was a lot of shit in itself. - Yeah.

- And Forts going around like COVID, and they're COVID air. - Yeah, the shoes on the other foot now. And their Republicans don't like it much. - Too much, you know what I'm saying? - See it's kind of mean when you fake all the other.

(laughing)

- If it's real, then that's incredible.

- We'd be evarified. I mean, how do you, you'd have to call the journalist and they'd have to be like, yeah, I was there. He fucking farted, it was crazy. - It's crazy.

- It could be a whistleblower. One of the... (laughing) One of the secrets I was gonna be like, dude. That was real.

He fucking uncorked one. - That's the shoes he got out of the color. (laughing) - What's the point of being the president if you have to hold in your Forts?

You know what I'm saying? You're the boss. And you got it just to hold in your, no, you move behind a pillar. Gentlemenly.

You probably learned that in fucking etiquette school. You find a giant stucco pillar. You just rip, yeah. I was back on the cheese for the vacation. I was, that was nothing.

You were hit in cheese? - Ooh, bro was, love was crushing cheese. All of a, yeah. - These Forts are crazy. - Dude, it was, yeah, fully sunpower.

- Yeah. - And then we watch in beggar vans and just... (laughing) (laughing) - I was real, I just was my dad.

That was in my dad's house. Just doing exactly what he does is watching movies with a lady and farting and then feeding catfish. Pretty much all I did, it was kind of nice. - Fucking where it's at.

- Yeah, it was. I mean, I can, you can tell I'm sunmaxing right now, too. I'm completely, I'm telling them, I'm getting melanated to die and try in the summer. - Sorry, you can do.

- You're doing a die try. (laughing) - So that happens a lot more. - All right, that's it, dude.

“- I got a nice, I mean, I have like a solid,”

that's a crazy tan, dude. - Bro, I just been, I just been raw dog in the sun. Just letting it just crush me. I'm kind of, I feel, I sleep good, I feel better. - Yeah, I know.

- No, I'll get sun cancer in 20 years with it, I'm not them, bro, you get the M.J. lasers. Cut it right out. - Yeah, my dad got, my dad had skin cancer a couple years ago. They just fucking cut that shit right out.

- Hello, skin cancer every 10 minutes. - Yeah, okay. - It's non-stop. - It's not the sunmaxed his whole life. (laughing)

It's fucking wild. He's one freckled, but he literally became a black guy. He's doctor-in-one. (laughing)

He always freckles joint forces.

- He said, "Over the John L.A." - I'm a friend of Doug Flutey. (laughing) - Doug Flutey, John L.A. Academy. (laughing)

(laughing) - Yeah, I just, yeah, the Larry Bird. (laughing) The Larry Bird Academy for higher learning. (laughing)

(laughing)

“- I feel really bad if you open a tomorrow, I'm like,”

"Fuck, oh no, I don't get it." - Yeah, that'd be great. - It'd be great. - If our voices, we found power and our voices, and I'm opening up, you know what I'm saying?

- Oh, my kids. (laughing) - He would not be happy, dude. (laughing) I wonder how he feels about it.

- Poorly, he would hate you. - Yeah, he would hate that. - Yeah, he would be fucking furious, we talked about him. He would not like it.

Although I wonder, I wonder if you, you know,

if you commit to the bit, I wonder if there's a part of it's heart that goes like, "I love all children." He has to be like, "Shut up dude, you're gonna ruin "oh fuck a career."

- Yeah. - Everything we built. - You hate them. - Yeah. - Although I don't, I don't, I probably doesn't hate them.

- It's about Stern doesn't get down like that anymore. We could have Umarverse. Was that guy's named Carver? Daniel Carver? The clansman that he used to bring on Stern.

Carver's Dr. Umar would be a battle. - That would be a battle. You could probably still set that up. And honestly, it's like, you know, it's a, let him fucking debate.

- We could do that from now. That could be a little segment, even I do on the show. - Dude, there's new races battle bots. (laughing)

- Every week, he brings a different type of race guy.

A race that's full would be sick.

- They're out there too, boy. They are out there. Yeah, getting a nice little, sending like a race that's full against like that. (laughing)

Like a U of T gender studies major. It would be so nice. So we'd have to throw in the red flag and be three seconds and be like, "Bitch, you bet." - All right, come on, hold on.

- Get 'em out of here. - Hold on, my foot, my foot's probably not out. - Hold on, hold on. (laughing) - Race is battle bots would be sick, dude.

- Be awesome. - You make it just not be on camera. - Yeah, be, you make it. - You have two people sit right here. (laughing)

Just let him fucking be races to each other. - We could miss three signs to the other. You just see our heads right in the camera. And then I'd like to hear your elaborate on that, actually. He just, he'd be on it.

- He'd be on it. (laughing) Now's a period of the question and response. We'll step in if we need to moderate. - Yeah.

- Heaven, heaven does, that'd be nice. - We'd be nice too, just having just like, they'd almost, you know, the dudes are calling a sports radio, just letting guys go, dude. They're like, yo, what do you think about?

- People call in? - Yeah, we're just comment, having them come in. And they're like, yo, the floor's yours. You're a steel worker from Montana battling, whoever, you know, this guy.

Some weird guy believes in aliens fucking go. RIP. - It would be like the scrapyard, but for debate. - Yeah. - We're just, I mean, I'm all scrapyard right now.

- Of course. - I'm all, this three beefs, shout out, three beefs. - Three beefs. - It's street beefs, scrapyard, the same thing, or is it similar?

- I think so. - Okay. Well, they've been getting, I've been seeing a lot of, - Look it up. - Yeah, we need, we need, we need some intel in that, please.

We, I've been seeing a lot of like 55 year olds versus 21 year olds and it's really good matchup. - Old boy, what's his name? - What's the guy, what's the guy fighting for his fallen friend?

- Barn dog. - Barn dog's nice. - Barn dog's real nice. - Gas station white, shout out, gas station white. - Gas station white.

- Yeah, barn dog, the speeches are the best. - Yeah. - So, my friend killed himself fighting for him. - Spreaded his, I mean, he really root for him. - Yeah, he sent me that guy.

- Yeah, he's a good group.

“- How'd you like the guy who goes, this is just a test?”

- That was trouble. (laughing) - Dog said he found his friend hanging and he had to cut him down. - Yeah, that's tough. - Yeah, yeah, thanks, thanks a lot, man.

(laughing) - Is that a ball of, Paul said it in the mix? (laughing) - Although you can see it, it's fighting though, man. He's like, I mean, beat a 55 year old.

- Scrappy art is like the Pacific Northwest street beef's contingent.

- Yeah.

“- But it's not saying it's backyard, it's different.”

- You ever fantasize about throwing a hat in the ring

in a scrappy art? - Yeah. - I'd be real slow. - So scary. - Yeah, I think about it.

- I think about it. I'd have to be very selective about the fight, but it's every time I watch it, there's a part of me being like, bro, I wanna get it in the fucking plywood, dude.

- You wanna fight? - Def sentence. - Who's def sentence? - Def sentence. - Yeah, Matt Matt versus Def sentence.

- Who's def sentence? Is it a spindly fellow? Is he knockout artists? Is he a ditching guy, which is-- - Fuck, he kind of loses a lot.

- Yeah, he almost takes the anime black guy who kind of-- - Oh, I saw him, I saw him. - Yeah. - He trains under the tutelage of Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson. - That was you really?

- Yeah. - But there's another one, there's an anime white that fights against-- - We don't see. - What's his name? - Winged C. - Winged C.

He's nice, he's from Lexus. Everyone's seven, all in the fucking scrappy art. Street beef, excuse me. - Yeah, I saw that guy, the anime black guy, who is like, Roddy, who's like--

- Which again? - Who's the guy in the suit that acts like a weirdo, like, acts like he's teaching-- - Oh, I don't know his name, but I know exactly what you're talking about. - He acts like he's like in a John Wick movie or something like that.

- Yeah, he's pretty good. - Yeah, I mean, and every now and again, they'll be guys--

“I think they do a good job putting skill against skill,”

but they don't really-- - A couple of times. - They've with a couple of times. - He wants a lot of feet to go to the line, isn't it? - Pops is the suit guy.

It was a black guy just watched, he was wearing a suit, and it was a good battle.

And then in the third round, his shirt was off,

and I was like, it's time to-- - Yeah. - It's time to lock in. - Yeah. - It's trouble.

- Dude, scrap yards, I don't know, man. It might be my preferred arena of watching-- - Not bad, I know. - Dying in the scrap yard would be so horrible. - Barry me dude, right instead of wearing,

it'd be nice. Even if I got like really hurt, just Barry me, right instead of wearing, it's just brain risk. (laughing) That's it, I'm done, dude, Barry me at the scrap yard.

- Well, I didn't tell you, my speaking of Barry me, dude, my brother had, he was in the shower, he's telling me about there was killing me. He had the, he was in the shower, and he's just like soap himself up,

and he felt a little warm from the testies. And he goes, fuck dude, he's just like, that's it, I'm dead, like I'm not doing anything, I'm like, I'm gonna talk about him, so ride this out, it's over, bro.

- I got the big sea, I'm out. (laughing) That's his easy investigative, he was like, what the fuck? And he found out it was a tick, oh my God, that had broed, oh my God, that was worse.

- I know dude, so yeah, he had broed in to his nuts. And once he found this out, he was like, he went to his wife and was like yo, you gotta get this thing out of me, oh my God. So dude, he goes, he was like,

first of all, big mistake, both me and my dad were like,

you gotta go to the emergency, you can't have your wife through that, 'cause they don't do it, they're gonna just pick you up. - You've got that. - You've got that in. - Dude, well, it's just also,

there's, women don't have a, you know, they don't realize how truly sensitive and like terrifying that is, you get hit in the nuts or like a tick in there of all things. - So I mean, if it was so kind of,

if it was like suckin' come out of that, it'd be sick, but like, (laughing) just all day, like, who's all your epidemists, that's the different things wrong. - Oh, oh. (laughing)

- But it was just, it was just there. So then he was like, you know, obviously, she's pulling it out, no respect for the sack. She's yanking at that thing, and he goes, dude. (laughing)

He's like, I was demoted, just multiple weeks in her, 'cause he's like, he's like, in end it with like, I was such a baby about it. I had like a towel over my top half of my body. - I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Learning turning his neck is hard as he could.

“I think, I think almost everybody listening wanted to go,”

I don't want to hear how full of it. (laughing) Dude, I, he was telling me the story the whole time was going, no. - And right now everyone's going and I should definitely

check my nuts out. - You got to check your nuts. And apparently there was, you know, the ticks are bigger, barely, ever. - Actually, yeah, they're going wild right now.

- Everything's just billgates, ticks. - I think they are billgates. - You get a billgates, ticks are a little pitch. - You get a billgate, tick, right in the sack. And dude, and, - Yeah, yes, go the hospital.

- Both me and my dad were like, bro, dad's fine out of his lives as he's now. - He already conquered lives as he is, he fasted for two weeks straight.

(laughing) You didn't even need for a fucking 14 days. He claimed to help them. (laughing) - He claimed to help them, he probably destroyed himself.

(laughing) - People don't recover from that. - Why? - No, like, prisoners of war that are like. - No, you can rock, dude, you can do two weeks.

- Yeah. - You dry fasted for four days until it was a vision blur, and he was like, I forgot what I was gonna do. - Yeah, I think that fucks you up. - He didn't drink water for four days.

- No, the fasting community. Obviously, I'm not the one to speak on it. (laughing) - 14's crazy. I've done five, and I felt like, all right,

this is getting, but apparently what happens is, after like, you know, one day is like a fuck,

two days like damn, I feel fucking amazing.

So he said it would just be up and down.

“He'd be like awesome, I think by the end of it,”

he was genuinely fucked up. He starts shitting like all kinds of crazy shit out too. 'Cause you're, I don't know what's gonna, when you don't eat your bodies like I just get rid of all this stuff.

He claims he looked into it, that helps the primacy. So could be wrong, look that up guys. Let's see, let's get some information on 14 day fasting. - Yeah, I think he's, 'cause what even is, I don't even know what the fuck it is.

- I think it's, I think it was a bio weapon. - Mimesies? - Yeah. - Could be. - I think it was.

I think it came from a military island of, yeah, off the coast of Connecticut. - Lines, Connecticut, and all the ticks, maybe got out, like, escaped. - What?

- The free sort of bite and all the Yankees up there. - How fuck? - All the O'Conmen would get sweet O'Conmen. We're getting big on all, great. (laughing)

- Fuck.

Now I'm tired in the afternoon.

I got fucking bills, paulsy. (laughing) - Fuck. Let's get the science. - It says, well, right off the bed.

Google AI, Gemini says, no,

“it is not scientifically proven to cure.”

- Yeah, I hate fasting. - But they help reduce overall inflammation and promote cellular repair. So, yes, it doesn't eradicate the bacteria, but it can help and certain things.

- No, you should also take antibiotics because you can get fucked up from Mimesies. - Yeah. - Like you can, you're joints, hearts, nervous, joints, heart, nervous system.

- Dang. - They can all get fucked up if you're hungry. - If you're hungry. - If you're hungry. Straight through the motherboard, do those?

That was the Randy quade. (laughing) - Yeah, it was. - But he got to pull it off and he, yeah, he was, how long ago did this happen?

- There's only only a couple weeks ago. - Okay. - Yeah, he said he was weak, so he's doing all right. - Yeah, he's all right. - He was benched from the bedroom for a while.

He's like, bro, I don't think I'll ever smash again. So all of a sudden, it's worst, yeah. - Really, he just, like, you're hairy ass, wiggling like, (laughing) - Which is what I would, anyone would do.

If you were getting your sex, I would definitely react to that.

“I would never show, I would do that myself.”

- I would do that yourself. - Oh, the pull to take out yourself? - You would have to. - I don't know if I could, dude. I had the fucking bug by my foot.

I couldn't get that thing out. I tried to dig it out, but I wouldn't write the bay. Like, pull this out, please. You came, but not on your sack. - Yeah, that's me.

- That's me. - Take 'em out. - Oh, that's it. - Not on your skin. - You just gotta suck it up and sit in the ER

for fucking five hours and let it let it fucking lady, whoever. - Actually, we pause for a second, I do have to pee. - What's do it? - Okay. - I just wanna see the mad bag on the pavement.

- But yeah, that was a hammering towel. - I watched a little documentary on Mao Zedong. - What's your up, dude? - He's dead, but he killed a lot of people in the way out. - What?

- It's important to study communism. - Yeah. - 'Cause all the youngsters these days, they think it's far out and fly. - Yeah, it's really weird.

- It's not.

- Usually results in about 50 million people dying.

- Doesn't work. - Typically. - Yeah, no, it's pretty, I mean, that's, you know, again, I've been making the YouTube debate to be here watching that, and that's a big one.

Like how you even comfortable calling yourself a communist of that many people died. And it's like, well, it's 'cause it sounds nice. You know, it's like, no, we share, and it starts with the seizure of private property.

- Exactly, that's right. - That's fucking crazy. - Yeah, it is funny where it's like built on, it's like it's not really sharing. - I feel from the government,

taking everyone's property, what the fuck? The government's terrible. - Yeah. - I don't trust them with anything. They'll be horrible.

Why don't people want to give them more power? - What the hell? - 'Cause it's a, the mayor, you love the government. - It's love the government. - It's great as we need to pay more taxes.

I want to pay more taxes. - We need more money. - I don't need to pay more taxes. - Yeah, you don't, I fucking do. - Yeah, I mean, it would be funny to be like

with like an autism to be like, well, they didn't really do that, right? They kind of messed it up. We should run it again. That's the big, that's the big comedy thing

that goes well, yeah, that wasn't, they didn't do it, right? - It is actually that. - They're two, what is it? I mean, comedy is what, two, for two.

I mean, they have a couple of ones.

- Yeah, they have a ton of the comedians. 'Cause they have a two big, bad. - But the Soviet Union and China are the two. - Big bad boys. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Not good. - Yeah.

“I mean, it was like, how many, how many of them out yet?”

Like, 20 mill? - Way more. Yeah. In like a three year period, they think it might be, I mean, the estimates are, no one knows.

Anytime something happens to China, they're like,

and then 450,000 billion people died

and the fucking yellow revelations. - Yeah, yeah. - But no, I think it was like the great leap forward and it was like estimated at 45 mill of fucking starvation. - God damn.

- Yeah. - And that's how it works. You come into power as the communist leader then you go, all right, here's the plan of 50. Like, I don't know about that.

You just murder them. - Yeah. - 'Cause you're like, yeah, okay, that's kind of a-- - Say this guy's anti-revolutionary. - Yeah.

- He's against the party, you gotta arrest him. And they do, like the way it started was they, they got all the kids, they got like the college students. And then they were like encouraging them to be violent towards like older people in the old system.

- What? - So they'd like beat up their professors and shit, which I went tough to not fall victim to that. Okay, what are you talking about? There's a new president saying I should go fucking,

punch my teacher in the stomach. - Punch just to work in the fucking kid. (laughing) - And then I get all this stuff.

“- That was kids were definitely against straight days though.”

Right before the revolution, teacher being like, everybody did great again. (laughing) - Yeah, that, that, that, that, what's one of those things that like, it is funny.

It sounds so nice and theory, like yeah, we're all shared. It'll be nice and it's like, but in the meantime, we're gonna fucking run it as what people's asked. And then no, I don't feel like anyone ever does that well under it. - The people at the top, yeah.

- Every single time they do, really good. - That's gotta be sweet. - Yeah, the people at the party's move into the man's house, start standing and wearing clothes. Now the other animals go, what the fuck?

- Being the party boss. - Well, I've also heard a thing that like, communism doesn't even work unless it's global. So they're like, that was like the real dream. - It's Marxist, yeah.

- Yeah, they're like, what's kind of be global? - Yeah. - Just a very funny philosophy, like, yeah, if everybody does it, it'll work. It's like, yeah, it's kind of tricky.

- Yeah, it's crud. - Yeah, it's crud. - I think it's crud. (laughing) - Also, it's not even sharing at that point.

You know what I mean? It's like, we should share it and you put someone at gunpoint and like, give them that. It's like what you do with the kids, you're like,

“share your toys, you're like, fuck, here.”

They haven't been billion people doing that.

It's not, you know, it's not really going to work. - No, they took all their grow up, dude. - The grow up is, dude. - We weren't even allowed to have restaurants. They had to have government sanctioned

to fucking like, can't teens where everyone had to eat, grow old together. - Stocks. - Blows dick. - That sucks, so bad.

- Yes, and then they miscalculated how much grain they had, so they were taking all the peasants grow up. - What? - Yeah.

- Then 45 million people starved. - Hey. - Crazy. - It's massive, they say, there's a thing, after it happened,

to people come out and be like, my bad or it's just like, - Without malice, my bad. - Did he? - Kind of. - They were like, you're not the leader

for a few more years, and then he came back. - What? - Yeah. - And he had the sauce or what? - He did, he did other sauce.

- Fuck. - It's the thing about all these leaders. They do have the sauce. - That's true. - So, how many people died the first time

and then he got to come back again?

That's kind of, not swear, it was 45 million.

- Roughly, I mean, they have no idea, but I heard a guy saying 80 the other day. - Yeah, max 80, they say, but they greatly forward the estimate, 45, but then over the whole time, they say around 80.

- 10 million. - 80 million. - And that's starvation, murder or like, just everything. - Our camps.

- Our camps. - You got to build tractors. We got to get some fucking nice tractors. - Fuck off. - But you're a slave now.

And you're building tractors because you said, you didn't like mount. - That sucks. - Yeah. - Did that kind of, you know,

it sucks 90 million people died. Did that step trying to forward as a power? - Fucking huge. - Fuck. - Oh, it worked.

- Oh, no. - Yeah, I'm attracted to the number one right now. - Oh God. - Yeah, it worked. - Oh man, that's terrible.

I hope these fucking computers work. - Yeah, if you're not afraid to kill most of your population, you'll be-- - You can do some stuff. - Yeah.

- Oh, yeah. - And nobody's been out of shape about it over there. Are they kind of like-- - If you're been out of shape about it, you and your family get killed.

So everyone's pretty chill with it. - Today? - Sure, today they're fine. - Yeah, yeah. - They're like, yeah.

- They moved on. - Yeah. - Sure, some people hold on to some, I'd be upset. - Yeah, well, you were retalking. - Like the 50s?

- That's pretty really. - Greatly forward was probably end of the 50s. - Right, it's pretty, that's pretty recent. - Yeah. - And so, China was like pretty poor.

- And then this guy was like, I got-- - They got rocked in World War II. - Yeah, yeah.

- And he was basically like,

what if we turned people into Legos? - Yes. - He was just like, (laughs) Jesus Christ. - Yeah.

- That's so bad. - Yeah. - And then the other government went to Taiwan. That was who we recognized. - Right.

- Right.

“- And then in the '70s, I think, we were like,”

"Ah, guess, suck." - What? - It's China. - China was as though. - China is as though.

(laughs) - But Taiwan, we don't-- - Taiwan was. So the original, the Chinese government escaped during the communist.

- Yeah, yeah. - And they relocated to Taiwan. - When we fucked Taiwan though? - Yeah, we still fucked with Taiwan, but then we finally recognized

communist China as the real China. - Gotcha, you were like, yeah, you guys, let's start our China. - Many's got him embarrassed. - And they got a nook.

- And then they... - Dang. - Now they'd get it done. - Ah, you fucking did. (laughs)

- I mean, it sucks that, you know, I mean, although the thing too is,

once you get to not killing 90 million people,

it's almost just absurd. - Now you sound like Joseph Stalin, dude. - Really? - One death is a tragedy. A million's a statistic, dude.

- It is, dude. - In a million, it's just like, - It's almost like that. - It's almost like that. - I was close with that quote.

- I think you're 100% right. 'Cause if you were to tell me like, he one day and there was his kid and he stepped on the kid's head and killed him a monster.

- Yeah.

“- And he was like, kind of a mode of it.”

- Walk through the killing 90 million. - And the guy had a plan. - It didn't go nuts. (laughs) - Yeah, that's horrible, man.

It's also funny getting kicked out in the main, like, yeah, my bad, my bad. Like, yeah, my bad. - You're gonna be Vice Chairman for five or six years and then you come back.

- He's player two. - And he had a nasty wife, dude. - Did he? - Yeah. - He married a actress who was like a fucking loudmouth, dude.

She was a problem. And then, uh... - Did he kill her? - And then when he died, the sentence started to death. - Oh, that's right.

- You got some sort of death. - What kind of thing? - They just, they changed it to life in prison and then she killed herself. - What?

- In jail, yeah. - Honoring. - She just honoring the boy. Really? He was like, "Mouth the man, dude.

I'm gonna kill myself." Got a sec. But I think she died in like the '90s. - How did he live? - Yeah.

- It was this reason that we were alive at the same time as his fucking life. - Damn. - Yeah. - '91.

- How did, how did Mao die? - Damn, dude.

“- She was alive for Notre Dame's last title.”

- Ooh. - That's how long it's been, dude. - You got to watch it from the jail. - How's it longs life was like that? - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

(laughing) - Oh, Ruholt. (laughing) - And when did he die? How did Mao die?

- He had him in murder, right? He died. I forget it was a cancer, how did he die? - Hey. - Yeah.

- Can he have a major heart attack in 1976? - He looked exactly like my grandpa. - Did he really? - My mom's side, my mom's side of family is very Asian features.

(laughing) I might be a descendant of the great Mao's, I don't know. - Dude. - Yeah, I'm a mean to look into that guy. - I might be a descendant.

- I'm working on the fucking dude right now, dude. (laughing) I might get the Mao dude going. (laughing) - He's got the robot nick.

- I'm gonna have to do. (laughing) - The Mao's they do. (laughing) But yeah, it turns out he was a jerk.

I watched enough of it.

- And we always hear his a jerk, but then it's like,

and he always hear he put up numbers, but like, he put up the most, no more. - That's crazy. Number one all the time. - And nobody really, you know,

he or he's a bad guy, obviously, but. - Hello. - That's true. That's true. - We're gonna add it that out.

(laughing) - All right, we did it. Good episodes. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane Seeker podcast on Spotify.

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