Ep 626 - Oil Boy (feat. Dru Montana & Lemaire Lee)

We didn't start yet. I'm not including

We're starting now Hey, Matt Dude, I uh, you guys saw I got a case of water before I went out. I got the I ordered it on gopuff. I got usually Gopuff usually drivers humble ads in this area humble ads and when they hand me

“Usually giving the case a get the big case of mountain valley water and they fucking they'll honestly kind of pump me up a little”

They're whoa, you just it's okay, and I'm like bro. Boy for a day And it's like kind of a fun thing. I enjoy I just I just had the misfortune of getting like a unicycle white guy Know Grande Aguas today. I got the Grande Aguas

It was just nothing but fucking unicycle attitude. Yeah, I call him like yo dude

I'm coming out where he at he's like I'm on the corner of level one. I'm like all right. Well. I'm in the middle of the street dude Like like come to the middle He just like all attitude. I'm like Unicycle around He wasn't on the unicycle I just can't I know for a fact is a unicycle white

No, I know this guy's unicycle guy Dude, I remember whatever the fuck what is it? It's called the unicycle I don't like those I saw a guy on a unicycle when I was in like middle school And they were like older kids that were smoking weed and I was just hanging around I was trying to sound cool and I asked like I if you could do a wheelie on it and they were all like what are you fucking

Obviously I can't fucking wheelie. I was like my bad. I'll just go to my mom's or whatever And you be fair kind of embarrassing to ride a wheelie less craft. Yeah, right?

“Yeah, you guys are funny and also you can't technically lean the front up and do that's what I was thinking dude”

Man you'll you're asking about a man Right, but I'm saying how I pogo stick a unicycle They get no air you just like all guys get no air. That's why they're so fucking tested Riding a draft and they get they get the least air out of the can you still riding no air? It's not in no air once you are a flightless bird

You know to this guy was a fucking group. Yeah, dude. I like Just like hey, I'm I'm here. I'm like all right, dude. Well, yeah, it's not what the address doesn't say to sit on the fucking corner Dude, yeah, it's a big ass case of water So I'm like well, I'm in the middle of the street as I just come down here. I come out He's already in the middle of the street. I don't know why he said he's on the corner. Oh my god. Oh, they're he's like I'm over here

I'm like okay, so I go up and then he's like hands me

I have a tiny case of liquid death the big mountain valley hands me to look with death first

I'm like Gabriel how am I gonna hold the liquid? I think rather kid. So I'm like with the liquid death that down on his car You're a brookie and spad and then or is it about the snowman before? Yeah, clearly. Yeah clearly Oh, it's just nothing but attitude. You're not even like I mean again. I was just sorely missing my humble legs But I put the liquid death down so I'm like dickhead. I can't hold that hold this And so I see he like leaves our gods. It's heavy. I shouldn't have done this

But I was like don't worry the big guns are taking over I gave you just like a white a tiny bar. I say rather the big guy the big guys got it from here Man with some band and he needs some discipline. I gave him some debt. I gave him a dad In with the big guys especially a guy roughly my same age Kind of criminal to son another and don't let you go watch this

I wonder why don't you driver tell me how strong I was and I'll say in a case. I had a big up myself I had a big up myself because there wasn't a Mexican guy there to do it for me

“I'm gonna say the big guns taking over brother don't worry about I think that's how to be a requirement for go puff”

It's like you got to be able to carry 35 to 50 pounds out of magic. Yeah, I go puffed once and I got an old lady I had to like help where it was just like 32 waters. I had to go to her car and help her like move it I was like well, I should have just went to the store. Wait that was your oh you were the you were ordering to go Yeah, you should at that point you should just take that old lady She's included. Yes, but I won't get one

One an old maid for my house. I did I didn't door dash for like one day I got maybe three hours and do it and I was already hating it door dash sucks It's like you go into a Wendy's and you're just fucking waiting for food and then that's the whole experience But I remember I like halfway through it or could I plan on working for like six hours? I only made it like three by got the Wendy's and fucking I got the shit and it was a full bag and then as soon as I got out to bring it to the guy's house

The bottom of the bag just fell out It was like fries and like chicken sandwiches everywhere. I was like fuck this Left me on his side book. I didn't even text anybody I want to pick up a sandwich you went home. Yeah, I love quitting a job without telling anyone That was dude the last time I did this pod was like three years ago and it was a I quit a job

I was like if course and I went and told my boss. I was like hey have a doctor's appointment

I forgot to tell you guys She was like you're still in your training period. You can't go to the doctor's and I go off fuck So I went back and I said it my desk for like three minutes and then I was doing like one on one training with this girl And I go hey, I got to go to the bathroom real quick That is a sick move. It was sick and I did that LA fitness and then I had a change of heart. I was I like to escape

I was just like I'm I was gonna dip real quick in a humility and I was like come on there Just at least go tell a guy. Yeah, so I was already in my car. I doubled back when inside I was like hey, man. He's like what's up. I was like going home. It was like what I was like yeah, I'm just I'm leaving Same thing. He's like I just trained you. You do your training like you can't leave and I was like Dom leave and I just figured out at least tell you because I was just trying to just like dance and he was like he was just can be free. He was like

Didn't appreciate it. He was confused. Why I was like I don't like this. Yeah, I'm just going home And he was like you can't go home. You can't go home. You know it's like I am I just figured out at least tell you That's weird. Like yeah, I keep them fucking while you're that notice there

“They're evaluating you for three weeks. It's like, but I'm also they're evaluating you so you should be evaluating them”

You should be like this do I want to stay here also You know, yeah, but probably you lied so hard in the interview. This is just the opportunity Do fake resumes and lying in interviews with my whole job experience I go to end the job interviews and I'm like I know everything you could ever imagine I got references that'll tell you I know everything and then as soon as I get the job

They're like he doesn't know excel even it's like basic shit. I can't do yeah I waited out for three weeks till I get fired. You know no exactly like no I'm doing great at this job It's ice acclaimed PowerPoint hard Oh my gosh, because I like use it once in college

I could like barely drag and drop like a reasonable thing into it. I was like very proficient power point Yeah, a fish in Microsoft sweet

“Not of it. I think I can do like a PowerPoint on like my top”

10 NBA players and that's it. It's like What do you get to any of the special shit like what you figure out animations of PowerPoint here If I can mess I know none of it. Well, dude Excel is it apparently Excel you can do all kinds of crazy Yeah, dude when you say you know Excel you don't fucking know shit No, I can hardly fill out like subheadings in the or like headings in the top

Stretched the cells. Yeah, I can do that but then the numbers get all they start adding I'm like don't have You can do formulas in Excel where you type it into one and then it goes a different number into a different thing I've a friend who does that. I told them I was proficient and they're like explaining all the stuff

I know what do you mean true? I've never said I was a master

Yeah, the job interview and they're also lying to you about how like exciting the job is Yeah opportunities it'll yield you it's like we're basically catching you in a cage. Yeah And we're gonna fucking just like steal your life. That's exactly what they were trying to do to me Frustrated. We're gonna frustrate you and mislead you and try to get the most out of you for the Absolute least amount of money and you're like, well, I want the most amount of money if you're the least amount of work

They should give you cigarettes during training. You're like you're gonna need this. Yeah That'd be got a nice That would be funny. They had so this job Fucking blows soul crushing boring, but cigarettes

That would be respectable. I would have to sketch like that. We're like you in an orientation But like it's like showing you a lot of perks and one of the purchases like a game broom Instead of like a gym you just can go gimp out you can do like beat the shit out of a gimp during the middle of your work day You know, oh, I thought you meant we're like a gimp mass you know, yeah, yeah, but like you know If you go yeah, you can eat the camp or yeah, you could beat a gimp out of a gimp. Did you make this sketch?

Yeah, I wrote it. I didn't make it Working for somebody to play the gimp So it's like I got a guy. What is the gimp? What is beating the gimp supposed to do for you? Just get out you I got to Mike. Yeah, I guess it's like a rage room. Oh, yeah, you know like uh

“But what if they horns you up? What if it's like that's what I'm saying. It's okay. So okay, so”

Okay, so it's like free use on the get so it'd be like a tech company where they'd be like here's a ping pong table

Open a door and it's basically like free use on the ground

Well, now it's gonna do it's gonna do numbers You might shake up the industry I mean it's genuinely funny. Yeah, I was gonna go like you know on an at Google next week I visited Facebook and they have like a full arcade and like movie theater and I was like I don't they have a gimp or no

When did you visit Facebook by the way in 2021? Oh, like Like a the day before Kobe died

You used to his ex girlfriend used to work at Facebook. So you got to go in. Yeah, I was like I want to go

“And they just let you in. Yeah, she just took me. Yeah, that was a huge campus. It was nice”

Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Yeah, I could see you rising in the tech sphere We're so nice. I mean dude, just the gimp mass thing alone I got some ideas. Yeah, what if we got a just an absolute sub what about the iPhone? You know think about it turn it upside down They would love that I found it Can vert the iPhone sometimes the iPhone his upside down and you can't even really tell

Kind of looks all the same to me. Sure Yes, I'm trying to get my screen horizontally won't go and like they go what the fuck's happening? Screen locks not even on I'm going dude and I like position it I don't know if that's like magnetism or something trying to it's all about the polls dude. Yeah, it's it's south I hate can put I am a lot of it. I hate yeah, I truly do I

I'm getting my screen time lower and lower. I I finally touch sub two hours a day screen time Whoa. Yeah, that's my low. I'm back up to two hours a day I mean that's huge mission. I think I'm in like I don't realize it, but I'm every day I'm at like seven six or seven or eight hours of screen time. I'm like how the fuck does that happen? Oh my screen times it's reels

“Really, yeah, it's just you know it was a reels. I feel I mean here's the thing GPS if you're driving that kind of ads”

Yeah, but I do that's just those quick little breaks Yeah, you don't realize there's like 40 of them a day

I just came to I like I had it just I was like dude. I never feel good when I look at this shit every time I look at it

I feel like a dumb ass. Right. Okay, I feel like I've done a really bad drug every time I look at it afterwards I just kind of come down from it. I'm like what is there any phomo of that for you like like you probably don't know there was a fucking Jaguar that attacked an Indian guy in a liquor store this morning But it's like that'll be another one of those smart. You know that's where you got had no Something that happens every day. But here's the thing that if it's big enough

I'll hear about it real bad now. I know about the Jaguar that attacked the Indian guy and I can search that out Rather than scrolling through an atmosphere bullshit. I was a video is a pretty good man The Jaguar comes in he's on 10 immediately. He's like ah, he palates on the guy and then the guy fight them off and then the Jaguar hides behind some Captain Morgan bottles He just chills. How is it is there audio to it? Yeah, it sounds a guy. No, this is real This is an it's an India. It's a Jaguar has happens

And my post post of it if a guy got palestone by a Jaguar. He'd surely be dead. No, but they carry sticks on Jaguar sticks Yeah, and a jaguar stick on it. I was going for a pack of stannies. He got had His pack of stannies stacking. I just took the Jaguar. It's a pack of stannies. Yeah, they see each other apparently They mean the borders are big things. Oh, so they do gags in New York on the border. Yeah, it's like a pack of stannies

They're like each other and fucking The thriller it's a thriller video This thing really happened Make a trick by I too we can't we can I mean everything is yeah

“Everything could be a eye now, but it looks is real. It gets to me dude. Yeah, I think if it was if they made it like much more of worse and grew”

Some then I'd be like this might be fake but if the guy like float it up and like it's a mile He has five fingers. So it's a mile Jaguar attack. I think you might have missed a water buffalo flipping the guy up and he floated into the sky Did you see that the null the bison? So see the water buffalo? Oh, man 65 year old guy gets fucking watched by a bison. That's real. Yeah, that's real real real. What the hell was it? What was he doing to the bison?

He was just the part. He dude. He's running around you ever like get your little brother on one side of the kitchen Island and you're on the other and you're trying catch him. He's doing that with the bison like around a tree

The bison finally pulls up on him because he's just Christ

No, he really did fight a Jaguar or leopard leopard. Yeah, yeah, same thing dude. I mean What would be sicker? I like fantasize about this all the time of just like a life or death scenario called on camera Where you emerge victoriously. Oh like over like a leopard and yeah, yeah, I've been wrapped that guy Naped it's neck the other been sick. We're a guy. Like just getting all the Indian pussy right now Yeah, he's trying off being sent lefty

Bob's with jeans in the jeans. Yeah, he should be I mean, he should be if you fight off a lever in your liquor store Yeah, yeah, you gotta get sucked. Yeah, yeah, no, it would be cool to have one of those situations where you're like fighting off like a life or death situation. Yeah, you just hope somebody's capturing in a video I pray for it every day. I touch the raff the other Like where were you at? It was a zoo if like you were you feeding it? No, I was just I just touched it just let me touch it

You're like massive I'm not I'm free. I'm not trying to want to be my fed giraffe something long ago

So sick You just get like a like plants your hand. I'm like a big thing. A lettuce and they wrap their purple tongues around it I'll put out your hand. It's pretty awesome. Yeah, yeah, I was actually kind of scared of them too I was like these things are fucking nice Imagine a horse four times maybe five times a size of a horse. It's just like a 30-foot neck

They're fucking terrifying The fucking Clydesdale The dinosaur neck The videos of them fighting are the funniest

“What how do they never see a man they just whip their next to each other full speed?”

Yeah, it looks like just all concussions in their friends Nothing but CTE and a giraffe Yeah, you would think they're chill, but yeah, apparently not. No, they get yeah, they rumble nothing's really chill even plants battle My yard my garden's kind of wild right now and I'm watching plants fighting I'm watching a Lemon bomb plant fight a sweet potato plant. Oh, yeah, where do fighting this for space? I can't think fighting for space in resources is a battle for

survival. Do you do you do you have like a regenerative garden where you're like plants certain plants around other plant like so they grow together? Or it's just a I kind of do a doctor Frank signs laboratory

Yeah, my first year gardening dude. It's nice to experiment. I got Okra onions

zucchini Green beans tomatoes basil and mint. Oh, you got a big old garden. Yeah. What did so what do you do with Okra? What is that like a bean kind of thing? I don't know. I had fried okra once in Alabama and I liked it and now I'm growing a bunch of it and everyone's like that shit sucks

“Why are you doing? Yeah, Okra sucks to slime me. Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do with it”

Yeah, that's the one the crop here. They're like you can grow okra in the summer I was like not you can grow super tados in summer. Yeah, yeah, flip tados are nice. I'm doing garlic Once I pull everything up, I'm gonna put garlic in an October and then you grow it through the winter and then hopefully pull it up It's awesome. I grew garlic garlics one of the best things to grow and it is actually kind of fucked up like when you grow your own when you start to grow Even like a little bit of your own food stuff in the grocery store is dead

Like compared to what you eat. Looks like shit. It does and it will first of all I think a Like store bought like greens they lose like 60-70% of their like vitamin C But then like two weeks of sitting on the shelf. I think even like a couple days. They're like they lose so much shit

What's like if you pick it if I pick it tomato from my garden? I never put them in the fridge

I'll just sit it on the window so in the kitchen and it's good for like a week to like ten days If I buy a tomato from the store and put it in my fridge, it dies within 48 hours. It's like moldy It's a black it looks like shit. Well, it's been sitting there for fucking life. Right the time it takes to pick stuff Sort it out truck it over, set it up in the store like come from the warehouse to a store. It's just really old Yeah, my dad was trying to tell me that a clams have to be eaten the day you you pull them where they're like no good

Yeah, I was like, well, that's like impossible because it's fucking you live in the middle of New York state where there's not clams for like 600 miles

“He was like, no, I'm telling you man, that's what happens and then I had to Google it farm and they do freeze clams”

Yeah, yeah Yeah, he looked like a big fucking like a fucking idiot. Yeah Sun them so they did the clams die when you freeze them? No, it's like it's like I think yeah Yeah, they're like aggregators Yeah, I want to think that for oysters too. I was one of that and I have the fuck are they getting these oysters over here

Right it doesn't even make sense for a person in Nebraska to have ever tried an oyster I know unless they're cryogenically what does it true? Yeah, they have to be yeah Unless you got a really like pool plane. Yeah. Yeah, there's no way That's why the officers market price they fucking He dropped it in on like a hell of a

Shoot they're like the toy story toy soldiers. That's where all of our seafood comes from and lands on the top of a children's hospital It is ground all the other planes and like hold on. We're bringing seafood They're upscale steak houses everyone wait Just kids on fucking ventilators isn't playing get load up the chopper What's that

It seems to me this is just chat to you pp but it seems to me that the clams and oysters aren't dead when they're being transported They're just they're still alive, but they're frozen. Okay, so they live doing the freeze is need I guess But got you they're not dead because when they die, they're bad. Yeah, they're bad. So they are I mean I said already before when you eat an oyster or wishes or a life they're e-m-o That's a short thing to how if a dance is a short YouTube quote in do where you like yeah

Yeah, he was shook and oysters for one and you could like it was crazy because like the guy was like shaking like dead That one's alive like here. That's kind of a clam clams move around with their tongues

Yeah, cause I always wondered that you see a clam and you go how the fuck did that guy move at all?

That's just it's time. It's just one sort of like aesthetic clam. Yeah, clams do be like that Not that not that I obviously I don't have a name pussy in like 30 years, but I Just don't do Not silly I wish I could hold it down like that. I get so jealous of guys. They're like absolutely not Which I had that in me think my car would be clean or somehow

If I refuse to you post you on principle, I probably have a clean car Yeah, everything else is an order It's related. I mean everyone here. I guess eats pussy right. I eat pussy. Yeah, Sean. Yes I'm a fan of stuff. Yeah Can't get enough. I do it just for I do them what this point is for fun. Yeah

You know what I mean. I'm not even like trying anymore. I just I just do it. I just think it's fun Clams. I'm exactly that's the thing Clams get about by their tongues I did take a stand against it for a while, but eating pussy. I don't know. I did have like a I'd say like eight months stretch Where I was like big against the stuff anti

What kind of brought that about? He's trying to seem cool. I don't know just try to be against the establishment. How did how did how did So you came up against the woman you refused on principle? How did they how did they take that?

“She was actually pretty cool with it. I think you think you respected it. Yeah, but here's the thing women think their vagina is”

They're disgusting, right? So if you're like I'm not doing that. They're like, yeah, it's like your guys bottle They they're like totally understandable. Yeah, they really think that they're like at least in my experience

I feel like they're always just like don't it's just not get down. It's like you don't know how nasty I am

Never that bad if it's if it's really that it's the ones use where it's No, I never never no never I've gotten like I've gotten the area tickled before Yeah, it's never I don't I would never really want someone digging in my ass. Oh, yeah, I was a fucking disaster I've never had my actual asshole wait, but a nice like Gooch lick It I'm like you can go a little further south. I ain't gonna stop you. You know

I mean but I don't know about it. I don't know man. It's really got to get me on a good day. Oh, yeah Summer time no there's not a day in the summer. I don't make sure goochies nasty is held. That's just sweaty. It's part of your body. You're good. Yeah I think so yeah, that's the sweaty. No, not my forehead gets pretty sweaty Not sweaty or do you're good? She's all it's in jeans all day. Yeah, you're good. She's sweaty Although my good definitely smells worse for me

My op heat just told me this thing how to know if a girl doesn't love you if she like my op heat She's like saying if she's such a dick and she like she like a Licks the part in between your dick and your balls right there. She's she doesn't love you. Why

“She's a trick. I think it's a trick trick really it's a trick trick. It's a trick trick. So she told you that”

Yeah, tricks of the trade. So you know woman. Licks below your balls not below your mouth in between You're doing this in Boston. So here's my I'm connect right there. So there's really not a big in between area Wait

I'm confused now. She's saying the what she's saying basically the underside of your shafts. Yeah

No, that's good stuff. That's fair game. No, I'm telling you that she's telling me it's the trick trick To hit the under a first of all how she know I know how she know. I know my I feed you well on peaches low so you're saying so here's here's the balls here's the penis You're saying where the penis and balls merge if you lick that part you're getting attacked by a trick

It's a trick trick. She even talk about subballs Is that I'd be curious here. She didn't say anything subballs Gosh you that probably wasn't even thing back then My hope is just crazy but why was that be such a I don't understand why that would be Untouched yeah

It's just like it's probably the most sensitive part of the big honest look. Oh, it's a least now Yeah, the head is the head is the head is the right. I don't know man You got yeah, you gotta get tricked

“I think I peaches my big a 40-year-old virgin. It sounds like”

It's hard like the bottom here the balls is like super satsin. Yeah. I think that's a wild beard She says she loves sap She's what's that? dude come Yeah, oh, she called this a sad call. She's like it's good for your skin

That's how peaches talks What they're tapping the trees. How how are these conversations coming about there's be it like a We're Thanksgiving and then like a it's like Thanksgiving or something. You're talking Sappo

You gotta ask him how much they love sap Bring my friends and peaches are talking sap the other day I brought it up my mom. I was like my own peaches talk about how much you love sap and my mom was like She did that to you She might be fishing that might be some sap fishing. No, not for me

No, I wouldn't put this money like that for this But I mean, it's one thing to talk about the medicinal properties of sap. I've tried it. I've brought it promote those as well I think they're like good for you I mean that is that that is folklore. They're like ladies they get come down a lot or sap on a lot They get a good skin. Yeah, it's supposed to be a good skin care. It's folklore. I wouldn't know

I do that and again, this could be It could be fake, but I thought I should all study saying like if women who ingested it helps them with stuff Because you can taste testosterone or something and a bunch of vitamins. Probably helps him with everything honestly Good for like having

Yeah It's GLP one That sap got it was epic in it Yeah, I'm trying to promote the sap, but Not trying to hear

You got to get it to talk to peaches. I used to

I used to participate in a little bit of a internet trick trick where I never I was never pimping for real

But I did a little thing. I had like a six-month stamp where I was rubbing oil on tits on only fans and But it was it was the best time of my life because it was like I just got in fire Did you walk away from that job? Well, like so you got fired and then you started rubbing oil on tits and yeah, it all worked out perfect But um, I would say yeah, this lady hit me up. She was like, hey, I need like help doing

Camera work for my only fans keep helping out and I was like I'm not gonna like put my dick on the internet

“That's crazy. She was like no, it's not that all you have to do is like”

So I'd set up a ring light and then I'd just be fucking massage and oil into tits easy, but yeah I forgot why I said that but it was it was a good industry She paid me $600 a week for like six months, but what did I do? Who was this guy who replaced you? I would have killed him. I don't know. Um, well, she wanted to like make it like a thing She was trying it she was trying to entice you with life. She was like you only come over when you're getting your money

And rubbing oil on tits. And I go that was the fucking agreement And also understandably so yeah Also, too, I'd be nervous to date an only fans lady because they could for sure just film me one, right? It's over. Well, oh, that's all right. So actually you're on soft white underbelly being like yeah, but in the adults So I should just read out for five months

When I when I stopped working for a friend of mine Rob Cruise He was subscribed her only fans and I didn't know that and he goes yo to do stop working with a What's her name on only fans like how the fuck did you know I was doing that? He's like dude I know it was you do you do weird shit with your hands and I was like that's great for six months Rob was just watching my hands and beating off

Yeah, I'm gonna rip him but I still love it the lady who's tits you are rubbing Developed feelings for you. Yeah, and then she wanted you to be her lover and only fans in her co-star

“Yeah, yeah, you should have taken her only fans over and cut her out of it. Did yeah”

That would necessarily you feel like three only flans girlfriends really not only two like two But yeah I don't know circles you right in it The same circles you're running in man, but we know all the same guy

Never you know all the same people never been hurt of these. I know zero only fans mom. No you know one for sure

I think I know your talk The secret summer Maybe no, that was a different one. Oh, no I don't know wait. I do know okay. I only know one. I know of whatever. I don't know Yeah, I don't know the talk well chat later

That one I was never like involved in any of the stuff though. That was just her kind of doing like solo shit And I'd be like you go make your money baby I was sitting your king size bed I would watch your HBO max, which I don't have a miles And so you weren't so you're I want to do you connect that loosely to your head as like kind of pimping because you said I wasn't pimping

“No, well, I think the first one where you're like, uh, is that's a crazy if you're you can't claim pimping?”

No, no, oh, I think the first one was more like I was at least involved in it, but it was like no, it was never that was performer

I wasn't that weird. Yeah, I never claim pimping. I know that you said this wasn't pimping I don't know what it was but a pimping after the day of pimping. I think if you're yeah I think anything where you're like making money awful woman who's doing like sexual acts could be deceived that way

No, bro, you're not cold enough for this pimping life

I could never pimped. I really could never pimped. I wasn't made for it. I was knock it out

I ain't cold enough. You got to bring the ice. You got to be the ice guy too. The ice

“Was not hard. That's why I spoke Slim. Iceberg Slim got his nickname. He's the shoot cook and made him the coldest mother”

You would just shoot cook and it's be cold to host. Yeah, bitch. His scams to get women to like you would call like just hump it You get one bottom bitch and you get her and you're building you I think it's called a chili pan You only have one though. You're just a little you're low down chili pan So what you do is you have your bottom bitch. She's humping it pretty good for you. We need more money So then you start writing letters to yourself and spray them with perfume

You tell her you got another bitch. Now you're an apple piece You're faking the funk. So you're going you're like sending yourself money and act like you're doing Western

Unis yourself okay, you're tricking your bottom bitch. What's kind of fucked up is your bottom bitch

But you start being like I got this other bitch up state. She's making double what your worthless ass is making And then you just start like ruthlessly beating her with a clenching anger and then it motivates her to be to Outdo this other lady who doesn't exist right and it makes you enough money so you can actually get another bitch And not only it's a 1940s 50s wire Yeah, he was a ruthless guy. I still his autobiography. You might be one of the best books

I mean it's fucking evil Let's pay off best books Pimp by someplace for Islam All right, guys, please please. I beg of you. I'll be doing stand-up August 7th and August 8th San Jose, California

Come on guys ticket sales. Ooh boy now every else is looking decent, but San Jose, California I get it. It's not great at summertime

“But if you want to come come August 13th and 14th Spokane, Washington”

Then I'll be in Portland, Maine, Boston, Massachusetts, Royal Oak Michigan, Milwaukee Wisconsin, Charlotte, Jacksonville, Atlanta, Shedonuga, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Orlando and a bunch of other places guys go to Matt McCusker.com To get tickets. I'll be touring all through December I'm in Columbus, Ohio, August 13th Jamesville, Wisconsin, August 14th and 15th and a big show in Philadelphia next in line August 7th

So please pull up any of those Dan Verte, Dan Verte, in September Well, oh yeah, and we'll creak in the cave tonight. Put the time machine on. Let's go and Check out do rag in the deer tag and digital bazooka. Love you guys. Thank you Hey guys, it's Sean Gerdini in. LeBanley

Me, Sean Gerdini. I'll be a good night's comedy club Thursday, August 27th and then Charleston, South Carolina, Whitsend August 28th through in the 29th. So please come to that. Please come to opt for them. Not just joke world, but first Please, please. Thank you in the mayor league. Hey, I'll be in Savannah, Georgia. You're like 31st Parisburg, Boston Bridge whatever but only main the bell house and Brooklyn, dojo comedy joke row fast. Please come hang out

You guys. It's gonna be a lot of fun. All right. Thank you guys for listening. Have a good night How many so how many did he end up getting you know, we've got a whole gaggle of those Yeah, you know, you know, once you got that bottom bitch hump and form for real And he got enough money to get himself a nice car. Then he got a lot of the hose and once you it's like they're like magnets once you have two hose giving the third ones easier than the fourth ones easier. Right. I'll go on from one to two. That's the real tough

It's a real pimp's quest. They always say making your first millions the hardest. Hey, that's exactly like

“Yeah, that's got that's how I've heard I'm only I'm only ever personally read about pimp”

It's yeah, but I knew a guy who was like hanging out with a pimp was just we it was like this dude I knew yeah, he just got on the drugs and he was just like I could tell because we're hanging out He's like you know, I mean, I was guy he's a pimp, but he's pretty cool when I was like, okay You're definitely back on drugs Dude Names cousin is a pimp and he brought him to Ravenlown for one time

I kind of remember here and about that and yeah He was just outside like telling my boy Ben Stab who a very funny comic that I used to live with here This guy was just outside Raven telling bannies like you'll you try to get you to accept the night and Ben's like fuck Yeah, I am and then the guy's like I'll be right back and he brought this prostitute up the band and like expected The kid them like 300 bucks Ben's like what I'm not I don't want to get you fucking man before you get smoked out here

Like he was gonna kill Ben for the offer of a just mean honest, but obviously I want to get a dick I thought we're just throwing down Also kind of sucks if a guy comes up like trying your dick suck that'd be like what's it to you brother? Yeah, I was fucking out of your business man. That was like a young man at the time I think he was like 22 23 so he was like just bright-eyed bushy tail

I'd love to get flesh Yes, sir, I'd love to get my penis up to you You know like I'll fuck you and kill you get it. Give me money Yeah, you can't we did that Our rugby team we like were in DC and we called a prostitute to our coach's room

We thought it was funny, but the that was apparently saying the pimples outside the pimples none too Yeah, they're not cool We can't just have hose being driven around. Yeah, someone's got it We thought it was a funny prank, but he or our coach was fucking furious

Because we basically incurred a pimple serath against him. Yeah, he was just like what the fuck

He was so mad Like I was the bad. He was the best. He got him killed. Yeah, we should have done that

“We were wild weeks when we saw I'll never forget it was mean like four or five other people on my team”

Just watching the car pull up and these two women who are obviously prostitutes get out. We were just like oh It's going down He was fucking angry. I remember when back page was popping. This is in like 2014 to like 16. That was my back page there and Trump shut it down Yeah, Trump's admin shut down back pages

Make sure to shut down around around that time because I think like 2016 was the last time I was Definitely wasn't a bonus for you

It was such a cool time because like you'd get on this website and it was like Craigslist and then you

You'd buy it and then the person would show up and they almost every time looked nothing like they did in the pictures And you go well, I'm already here and I know there's a guy with a gun in the parking lot Oh my the complain right now true Let me not be rude Dude we don't be rude. We had this lady come uh because my friends from upstate New York

They used to come down and see me all the time and failure because back page was this thing and they were like We're gonna just come down for a weekend chill at Drew's a part of her My friends would come down and I'd let them all like sleep on the couch or whatever It'd be like a car full of bros just coming down to get back page pussy I remember one time

My friend Casey he uh they had an early flight out of the filly airport So that this lady came over and whatever it happened and I went out in my living room the next day and all the bros were gone And there were two foot prints on my ceiling like muddy shoe prints on the ceiling and I called Casey You know because I know he was the one that fucked the lady in the living room

“I go how the fuck did you guys get footprint so my ceiling?”

He just started laughing hilariously and he hung up and he's still never told me

I don't know how it happened Like a standing style That maybe like eight foot, but they I don't know if you'd get her up on Yeah, they're a little shorter than these ones. That's crazy Yeah, it was still like I have no idea what sex move could have been done where a woman's feet

Hey, I suggest to move You got him up like here, but to keep her balance she has boots on because she's not quite tall enough to have her hands But what are you you're eating her ass from behind? Well, she's yeah, I don't even I don't even believe this There's no way you power bomb position. She's up here. Yeah, but from what on top?

You'd have to be on a bunk bed, dude There's no, I'm saying you hold her up and Like you're standing up, bro. I don't know. I like the dirty work boots that she has on in this I think this shoes probably got thrown at the ceiling

“That's how I see the more I think about it like the older I get them like it had to have been that and they're fucking with wait”

Did it look like this like when they like both in a row? They were right next to each other where feet would be yeah, so it's like I'm put that's like the throw I want to see like went up there and like stamped them and it was like this will be funny I see it's more likely. There's no way he got back page pussy that high off the ground They're they're terrestrial creatures, dude. They're not fucking leet. They're not after bats

They said like yeah Yeah, I don't know we can get out of like a car like walking his semi straight line to a front door That's about it's about as far as yeah, I don't think about that. They're not aerial at all. No Not one tape. It's like you try to do what for 80 dollars You have to talk to the fucking hundred body

You're not to the pimple you're like you might have to fight left hair up True, yeah, yeah, the pimple get all ocean you're like you can't get her four feet off I'd be pocher would be coming at you. It's purple. Yeah, dude. That is very funny back pages is incredibly funny Shut down just got all shut down. He doesn't remember plenty of fish plenty of fat size to call it Yeah, I don't know plenty of fish was sweet. Yeah, because you know I because you could just chat you could just be like what up right away

Plenty of fish was a kind of like a tender before tender, right?

Yeah, we could you could match you could chat without matching basically. Oh, okay. So it was just like

It was just a blank canvas. You could just say hey hey hey hey, yeah, rather than waiting for the match. Yeah, it was pretty Craigslist yeah, kind of was Just a lot of where you from

“Yeah, point your fish fucking kind of ruled honestly. Yeah, I like plenty of fish. Well, there was one”

That's not a documentary about one of the dating sites where it was like for married people and they got Oh, actually madness. Yeah, yeah, that seemed like it. That was like sure. Yeah, fair dating site I went on a plenty of I think was a plenty of fish date one time and then I like it was truly like I mean There's obviously people look a little different in their pictures this person must have gained like 80 pounds Like they were unrecognisably obese and I and I like showed up at their parents house. Yeah

That was going to be fucking rude. So I was like yeah, come on. Let's go. We had we just like drove around on it like eight pizza It's up in like it was like a fucked up area. It sounds like a pretty good date It was it honestly was pretty chill She took me through what is it huntington park? I think yeah, and we just like show me all the street walkers And she's like this is nothing but street walkers up here at nighttime. We just like washed the street walkers

Pretty cool. We sat in my car and just chatted Yeah, did a shot like with her family before I left Oh, this is fucking crazy. Yeah, she was big Big lady It was such it was such a different picture. They're almost respected it. I was like

You pull the caper on me Yeah, I'm got one of these two are you show up with that lady? It's old man jeans Was it yeah Close here we go for hot. I was going for like pretty run in the mill You pull the Scooby-Duma scoffer

I wouldn't got away with it if we wasn't for you meddling kids I didn't do that didn't have the heart to in front of the family. I was like come on. Let's go baby Let's get out of here. I had one of those one time, but this is I stopped using like Tinder and all that shit

Years ago because I was just never good at it. I'm not good at like if I match with somebody

I don't know what to say it's a fucking game. See that was my my way with words was my strongest No, I'm bad. I think while the man I still love my my mental games on Tinder We're just it was no one stood at you. I mean most people stood a chance point My I would I would always just send just a regular. I wouldn't try to ever thank you Like hey, whatever they didn't respond. I will go. You have 72 hours of respond before I fall into the arms of another

Oh, yeah, I got I got a friend He's but he has a he has a thing when he match with white girls of Tinder He'd go what about Jasmine and they were like was that and then he got a name of our daughter I would do I would do nothing but mine games the whole time just be like Honestly, I wouldn't even I would go I am I'm grieving the fact that we're not hanging out and I just I'll be here

But forever I won't wait forever for you. Yeah, but heart can only take so and I would just say that

“Thomas shit and it worked. It's dude honestly. I remember Tinder”

You would get nothing nothing nothing and then right around Thursday Friday that's one women start having their wine after work It's literally and then they start then all the responses came right around like this almost the same time Or be like oh the old yuppie the old yuppies are getting brief like the girl minds just activated the real-mind Activates and like Thursday Friday They can't even Monday Tuesday Wednesday. They can't even then Thursday There's a they go

Friday they go It's like a trend no, you're right they do like center city sips. I'm doing center city sips with my friend talking to a guy on Tinder Can't be bothered or unless I mean, I'm sure if you were like six foot seven They'll respond. They talked to all the six foot five guys. I'm Monday Tuesday Wednesday

If not of them then they reply the plight of the sub-human sub-human sub-sic humans The weekends of subsets I guess he's all right They have wine goggles on Tinder like that's all right He's an inch taller than me. He'll be fine. I won't wear tall heels. I went through my whole life not knowing height was a thing

Forgot like I didn't know even women cared about height. Yeah, I was like thirty one

“Really got through my whole life. I did it never even thought about it. How did you tell you miss that?”

I just never even thought about it never never was brought to but I mean I'm I'm like I'm not super short

But I'm by no means tall. I don't know my whole family's like way taller than me, too But I never even like it wasn't till I was on those apps or they must be six feet no over and I was like The hell's that about yeah, I like look at what I'm like. Oh, that's like a desirable trait. I even I just didn't know Yeah, it had something to do with like dominance and being protected. I think ladies are stupid It's all like ancestral shit. Yeah, I think so. I think it is I mean tall guys by the way get paid more

About to get one of those knee surgeries Left leg leg leg leg leg lift yeah Fucking get paid so much

They're probably the limb lengthening surgeries. It's it's a they'll never figure out how to do it like proportionately

“Yeah, I mean about six more inches of legs. I think that would just make me look fucking weird”

I feel like why is his torso net so long and arms like I gotta go back as the year later and do the arms Six foot three was like a 21-year-old legs. Yeah, I look like a dress with no neck Yeah, I think the most I think you can only get like a couple inches at a time Paul

Paul, but yeah, you don't get like yeah, I don't think you can go like super I mean that'd be cool. I mean, I would just go full prosthetic at that point It's like right metal fucking splints in my legs I think that'd be the move too because then you can uh, I don't know there's so many like more lies You could get away with with prosthetics if you're just a guy with like goofy long

legs for no reason and scars If you like the fuck's wrong with it I'd be realistically. I want wheels that turn into the legs, right Are you trying to be a transformer? I said right like I understood you and I do

I got you there. Let me opt him a sub-prime Just thinking about it. We'll you want wheelies for feet Well, yeah, because in like you could go fast make a soda. Well, if you rolled up on a chick with if you wheeled up They would they would fucking freak but then like it transforms into legs and you would you wheel up like regular stature And you go

And then he just tower over

“No, you mask me this the other day, and I think it's the greatest question I've ever been asked would you”

Would you be five foot three for the rest of your life if you had Vince Carter's full dunk package? Yeah, let you can do fucking 360 under the legs windmill. Stick my arm over there

But you're five three. How long do I have it for forever forever? Yeah, you know, you never lose it

You have the bunnies forever. bunnies don't go anywhere. I'm going bunnies Yeah, but this is the easiest choice. I've ever had to make. I'm five three to Yeah, everything. I don't know. I would decline that. I I have I'm gonna eat with this scenario So if you this is what I always think about so if you were with see you had a wife or girlfriend for every 10 pounds She gains it unlocks a new freaky act like something you've never even thought of or done

How deep into the hell heavy when she yet? What else can It's just mine. It's a never mind blow. It's a mind blow. Where is she? Where she started? They could see a slim with you slim me or she like kind of thick already It's a good question. Let's say

Let's say she's average weight, you know like mate. Let's say like just a little bit of a thicky not a little crazy Okay, like one question is also it's a question is how deep would you go if she could be skinny as hell and you would just keep going and go right Because you want to unlock the next level because there I guess there is infinite possibilities put it's also like I guess after like a woman who's now 10 pounds heavier eats my ass one time Am I gonna be like now? I gotta see what the next thing is you know what I mean? It could be a double blow job

She could invite us all yeah, but then so it would just it's a whole universe Be fat I don't have to match the weight or can you get her so freaky? She starts bringing that's up to your I think you fat wife's side. I said

“You don't know that's about it's literally Pandora's boss. I think once she gains 500 pounds”

We're like 50 freaky acts into the substance then that's when like the the fine shit starts coming out She brings around skinny hot chicks It does like a and we're like a if you make if you help her lose weight the she like stopped or in that act. Oh damn Yeah, yeah, every poundy go down and it's just one time thing. It's just like a new thing You know because if a lady just has loose skin and she's not a freak then what's the point?

You know, I'll keep it fat Keep a freaky act in itself. That's the middle she can't suffocate you with it that'd be nice. Yeah Well, I guess this is also that you can kill like Superman Man, no box down here through by the end of this scenario. I'm just gonna be in a Gimpsuit with a 500 pound wife Squish

I did when I worked for Verizon. I did a door to door Verizon sales for a little bit another job that I just quit and didn't tell anybody But I was doing I met a dominatrix one time and she told me that She was like the biggest ugly is not being me in the ladies, but she had rough looking woman and She told me that she made like thousands of dollars a day just like beating the shit out of CEO's and like sitting on them and like stepping on their balls

And I didn't believe her at first because she was so rough looking

But she got like the full Verizon packet. She got like fucking 200 speed internet like five cable boxes

A bit dead like six cable boxes. I said damn she getting money

You want HBO. She said yeah She probably be stepping on dudes sticks. Yeah, that's crazy. They do that the dominatrix is definitely I'm real in the financial domination in them when they just yeah when they just go like you meet your money You fucking bitch and you're like oh fuck yeah No, I would never but it just makes me laugh to be financially dominated so fucking funny because you were the last time

You were single you were poor, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, no, I should take that back I was I was always kind of balling on the low. Okay, no, but I had I had ups and downs for sure Yeah, so when you were single was there ever like a sent moment where lady told you to send her money and you just did it with no reward Yeah, there was a time. I've definitely I would fall into this in the strip club every now and again Where you were just like you'd have a stripper come by and be like oh, this and that and then strip club

I'm saying after the okay We meet outside

But she would be like you remember I would like give one thing to that if there was a call like never hundred bucks the first time like okay, then after that

Like you're out of here. I remember a lady sent me here if I'm a one-time I'd be emitter and she just sent me her Vite like a screenshot of her Venmo and I was like kind of drunk when I did it, but I sent her 20 bucks thinking like this will move the needle She just double tapped

“All right, I said I think like something like just sent it and then she's like double tapped that and we never spoke again”

Dude I'm so funny strip clubs because like Do you just get Horny at a strip club to go home and fuck your wife like is that like it like what do you mean? No, it will do

There's I don't get hopefully you get jerked off or something there. There's there's a bunch so there's like It's all about the different strippers some of them are there just a dance and they're all above board Then there's the ones that are kind of tricky and how are you gonna get like Strook by the girl. Let's miss joking guys. I'll be. That's the plan. Yeah Exactly the plan

Something like that. I don't think about the other guys because they make you think like it's only you that's the whole thing But then there's so there's there's the in club, but then there's the other level where they're like they'll get you to be like I like you but hang out outside and they will hang out outside and they'll slowly start seeing how much money they can get out I can't I can't fall trapped in a strip club matrix. It doesn't work on me Really, yeah, it doesn't work on me. Not at all not at all

I just go true Me strapped in I go leave me alone No, there's a there's a world there's like a lot of strippers have like very casual old guy boyfriends that are

“To send me a tons of money and it's like I think they'll give them like a taste once”

And then be like a fucking car blah blah blah blah blah You have like four or five of those guys and you just keep getting new ones Yeah, sugar daddy cycle. Yeah, yeah, I don't even look at their tattoos I like I try not to look at it because like Sometimes they might have a tattoo that's something I like you go, ooh, anything like no, that's a

You know, is that a Naruto tattoo when you're pussy How so do you go to shirt yeah, have you been to a shirt club in Houston? Errors yeah, recent times. Yeah, so what do you do when you go there if you just sit there like a very Stolen sit outside and look at my phone just like yeah, we're gonna sit at the bar Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be like get out of here now Yeah, what about when they is I come around

The strippers come around and they'll try and like bring you to the back so if one approaches you what do you I'm okay, yeah Me and the mayor posted up pretty hard one time We come up and try to get money. We go we don't have any more money You're just watching videos

How do they respond? It is puffed away. They stop. They stop showing up. Yeah, they get mad

We gave all our money to the first lady and then yeah, like oh we forgot

We said a trap now. We all think we're gonna have money We can't just hand or like forty one dollar bills in a stack. You got to like make them rain ship Yeah, that was our mistake You just did like a transaction you paid it like it was rent You know like it's no bond

You can also chill and it's be like I don't have any money. I'm sorry. Yeah, I wish I had if I had it I'd give it to you babe

“Yeah, I remember one time I went to Chicago and tried to hand oh this was when I”

Yeah, I went to strip club and I like tried to give a lady a dollar. She was like throw it at me I was like what I want to do that Take this Crazy yeah

Guy eat geon a Michael spit off those trees. Yeah. Yeah, she like deep out of that and then fill it

You got your call the gentleman Michael sir. Yeah

Tell it and so fee B You have a good shoes outside of the like the Harrisburg comedy zone So she He was like deep there with like a nice stick and then when she pulled it out her mouth There's a bunch of like drool came out with it dude. Who was in front of stage drag his finger through it and then just like

Put it He's probably dead That's the thing it's like you think you're horny There are Warney

“I saw the same thing a show in tellin filly. I remember they had their live Dildo show at midnight”

That's a good time

Were they really put the double end and they fuck each other? Well, they also they're like

Visibly hair and addicted ladies yeah, there was just like meth faces. It's really a very Sort of smell like red bull for some reason You guys are promoted. It's a very sore sight and remember this lady was like jamming herself and then she would take it out and like wave in the crowd and every dude was like Whoa Dude for real dad

Dodging it like a fucking lightsaber everyone like dad Don't touch me with that And there's one guy dude. I for he was this drunk older guy and he was just like I'll fuck I'll fucking suck that thing right now And I remember we're like no, you fucking won't he's like give it to me

I'll fucking suck that thing right now I'll fucking lick it. I'll lick that thing We're like oh, no But he was like actively trying to fucking get the juices off of like dude like a real crack at old process He was it was like sad

Never be like dude. No Yeah, there's guys out there that will fucking go to town You like it doesn't even hold a candle. Yeah, no shame at all. Yeah, no, it's not it's like not even close

“Yeah, I remember seeing the guy who's so he's so fucking fun showing thousand nuts is the host now, right? Yeah”

Show and tell you to have a they would have the 18 and upside or like 21 and up and then 21 to 18 side Yeah, and all all that was separating was just like glass pain so you could see through it And we brought my brother because I remember I looked up like 18 and up strip clubs and show and tell came up I didn't realize they were separated. So I brought my brother to show and tell when he was 18 Yep, it was me and my cousin and like a couple my other friends sitting on the other side like just having the time of our life

That's looking like a B section. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we were looking at like each other side of Dildo show and like we're all like this is awesome And then we saw my little brother was like a pressed up against the glass just looking through Just so it's freaking so did five so it's like I want to come see the double build Like look you stay over there dude. It's really it's a puppy in a window Yeah, that that place was like complete mayhem

Show and tell I don't think there'll be anything else like that No, it was just a strip club like right outside of red and call buck robes and Be wild be and then used to be this like fat black lady there who she didn't get like a lot of tips for dance But the way she used to make her bread was she was just had these giant titties and you would give her like ones And he would just point people out in the strip club and she would just go up on the side of them

Just like If I remember right Really do you see the She ever see a show like a not like a birthday party or a bachelor party a show and tell when they would like take the guy up and beat us They would beat the guys has like really hurt you if you have them to me. Oh my the day I graduated from college

We went not a show and tell we went to this place called Justin off and Bridgeport and Things we call it the boot because it was a giant fucking like light up boot outside But but yeah, did they told they told the strippers they were like he just graduated from college And I was like I don't want a fucking do this. I don't want it and my cousin was like, nah, they'll be cool Dude, it's just like a lap dance

Monji like my mom and my dad were in there. It was fucking weird and then they brought me to this fucking chair on the stage And they handcuff me behind me and they started beating me with belts

“Yeah, that's what they do show and tell me. I was freaking out. I was like stop”

It was embarrassing More embarrassing like spasms and give them beat. That's exactly what they do a show and tell they would just take your shirt off And they like dance on your lap and they got to be hammered just like and they would take a belt and start like Reathlessly fucking beating you with belt. This was on the day. I graduated man

I was like proud. I was like I'm the first male in my family to get a degree and they go. Let's fucking get him beat by strippers

Let's Those ladies are fucking ass into it. I mean, yeah, it's like a very deeply frustrated single mother Yeah, just fucking just taking out all of the frustrations on like an 18-year-old is like And he they what people would freak out mixed up

It's also like why what the fuck it's like it's like I get you know the naked ladies

“But there's a part of it that's like yeah, we want to see young men get the shit kicked out of them too”

Yeah, I see a young man get whipped until he cries on his birthday at the ship

I've never been into like on either side, whether it's like me and flipping paint on somebody or like a woman like trying to hurt me during sex

I'm out on all of it. I hooked up with this girl one time that like wanted me to like slap the shit out of her And it made me so uncomfortable. I felt like I was getting like tricked the whole time I was like nah like Chris Hanson's gonna come in here Maybe not Chris Hanson, but like the guy who does that for guys who hit one See, well-coated my bedroom. So how did you navigate that did you look any baby slaps or I did and she was like hit me harder

I mean she was like you're a fucking pussy and then I was just yeah, I was like I'm not gonna I was like you're baiting me into this and then I kind of just like politely came and was like we're not gonna do this anymore That's nice. Yeah, yeah, I'm out into the rough. So I personally would if I had a choose one of the other I would rather receive pain than do it. Really like a bite. I would like a little love bite personally a bite's nothing Yeah, like a little scratch. That's fine, but like crashes all the fucking choke me or slap me. That's insane

She I've never been choked. I don't know if I like it. I can't speak on it

Getting ch- Also, it's like I don't think a girl could joke me. I'm not bragging, but I'm pretty sure If I flex my neck veins, I genuinely don't think a girl could choke me if you tried You like being choked on there. No, you're the choker. You're the choker. Yeah, I was with me I don't know where it's at how much respect do you think you get if you walked a white lady on a dog collar through the hood. Oh It's a dream and had her fucking like pull up people like get out of the man

Oh He's walking a white girl He's like a dog walker. We have like four dogs and one leash every so nice That's not the mother shit with girls, but at least I mean the pop walker Very sick rain bed video the pop walker. He's a pop walked dude. Yeah, only Lancaster having fillings

It would be a sensation a rain bed video is so funny This walking girls will be like in see if I bet $10 on calcium right now That would be I mean it might be out of respect take off your angle. Yeah The best rain bed video wait rain bed is weird. It's like the random video Yeah, this is the best one I've seen is there's this guy

He the double dasher if you see in him if you're off the internet You might not have seen the double dasher dude. He he gets people to door dash to him and then These people like bring the food up to him. He grabs the the bag of food and just punts it across the lawn He goes you fucking double dashed me you're playing in my face I know you're double dashed and they all go what and then he he starts handing them like thousands of dollars

He'll give him like a pile of money and then it's always like some ridiculous shit

He'll like pull like a rubber chicken out of his pants and be like you want this and they're always terrified, but when he when he punts the food It's the funniest Full-maggle Wendy's and oh

“Like why'd you do that you like you fucking double-bashed me?”

Then he gives them money. You know assaulting it is watch the one punk it The fucking thing you may it's $10 for you. That's $10 worth of your time Yeah, you just watch a guy punk Yeah, it might be less than that. I don't ask for three hours dude Sometimes you'd get like four bucks per delivery. It's like you don't be a punch. I don't be killed here

You'd be kind of scary because you're like This guy's gonna shoot me now Yeah, that's the first scene. No, he's he seems out of his fucking mind when you hear the video Yeah, that's so crazy. You're you're less valuable than the food like if you work for door-to-ish true Yeah, you better be because I'm not trying to pay double on the food

“You have to be I'll just finish the way it is funny”

This is a person's time and you're like, it's not worth as much as like a dried vegetable oil Well, I think we did it. This has been fun. Thank you. Well, man. Yeah, thank you very much sliding into the patreon. We will check out our do-rackin with your tech little bazooka. Yes. Also, we're gonna We're gonna follow up on the outer space thing. Yeah, thanks go I labored over it all week Excuse me, I fart all right

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