Ep 632 - R.I.P. Andy (feat. Tim Butterly)

I spoke to an older guy who was like kind of hyping himself on period sex And it was kind of like, well, that's a young man's game. Well, he was like, I get down with that I don't give a fuck. They're on a period. It's like you're too old for that man. Does anyone still even hold that down anymore? There was a guy I was I did a show. I mean like normal. Yeah, this I found one guy who was like trying to hype it up

“It's like I think it was the same age as me. It was like bro slow down. Also who cares?”

I don't think I met a guy that's like I won't do it if she's on a period. I It's like I'll I just I used to be when I was younger. I was like, I don't give a fuck. Oh, now. I'm kind of like I'll just wait I'm 40. I know what it feels like I can really do this Period sex for me now. Yeah, you'll wait. It's all in the table

I'll wait dude. I'm at the point now. Or it's like give I'll give it a couple days. Just let it down and say I will wait Yeah, I would wait. It got for me. Do you see it clump? Keep the lights off get away from the clump here Clumps I got one of them bookers and I think I was like I'm good on this got one of them bookers. Yeah, you catch some of those you gotta just not look

The worst is yeah, you just finish you go the bathroom you go Oh, you gotta go wash your side eyes closed all the way to the shower I wet my sword in the grass. I got them inspect Get a white my blade in the grass clean my dagger Yeah, my boot so I'm my boot dagger

“Dude keep in a boot dagger is that'd be sick next time I go to a wedding I want I think I want to equip a boot dagger”

You're gonna be a boot guy first. That's gonna be crazy. That's gonna be the winner part

Do you know what you're telling me to do? I wear the boots around here What about belt buckle gone? Have you cool belt like it you're talking about a TV 20 down it goes boom I'd be kind of nice. Yeah, I saw guy At the bookstore. He was a he was a raging lip and he was an open carry. What yeah, him and his wife were clearly raging lives

We're still with the open carry That's interesting. Yeah, we were the telltale science He was trans her book store her to bookstore The wife the wife was giving Giving big time libby. Yeah, that makes sense. She was slang. So he was strapped up. Yeah, he was yeah

That's all right that dude. It's the lips go strapped that would be so fun. It just strapped up back off. I have a firearm Taking a six-week course They get strapped that's kind of tight. They that's they've been the app in about getting strapped for a while

“I think we're talking about different type. Never got”

Well, it's traffic tax. Well, same same exact crew True, it was traffic tax crew really they're also getting guns. You can't strap. I mean we got someone we can't just come out of the gate We can't decide

I'll live now anyway, dude. I said down with hunter. I'm completely lived out. Yeah, I said we should be fighting never traded a single stock in office

I said we should have free health care. I don't live now to Don't I fucking hate pockets You get drunk you go. Why don't we have free health care people? I fuck you you fucking bitch All right, my best I don't know anything that is that it will that is a funny one to be like fuck that

It's like we're good sounds nice. Yeah, the people holding it down for the insurance companies All though my my theory is our military We need to have kind of like a dragon's den situation because if every night free health care free college You're not to be able to get some young boy into the fucking military so I think it'll bro. I'm chilling Yeah, so it's pretty good with it

Yeah, sure, you got several million China has

All right, yeah, sure any rest of the country has it aren't they forced though? They're forced. Okay. That should be the thing We have free health care for anyone who will volunteer fuck that's just a military Why is this so hard? I think though after they fully block off Porn sites, I think they can go we'll let you in you just have to do 18 months

and want deployment you're saying you get you get one home back you got it you get one back during the military That's gonna be tough. You got to do that fucking obstacle course I agree. I mean that would be a good better than fucking going to XNXX True, that's enough. They already sold this I already sold this stuff

I've been on the safer six months. I've seen this one before Dude, I was I wouldn't have some obstacle course action this weekend. I went to this place. It was like a ranch like it only an hour and a half away And they had an obstacle course on the water and I think we could use some maybe obstacle course I was watching some dad struggle in the obstacle course. I said we might need to fucking yeah

If you want to get porn hub save your ID hit this this inflatable obstacle course. Yeah, but even if it was hard

If there's a slight chance that I'll struggle on that. I'm not gonna do it. It was So for that I went up on it on birch tour. I did it. I was at the climb and up this slide I fell down fell so hard and I've put God suck on the wall. I hit my head. Oh, it was yeah I'm not sure the cool would be to hit the top of the fucking Rope net you're staying on top of the deck and you're like and in the hand you will laptop

Steak laptop from hell That'd be a good auction item Laptop from hell. Hmm. What should I ask him if you ever got his dang laptop back true He even think about I would imagine in a certain point they're like YouTube is he hit him the softballs True, I'm telling you bro the biting game

I'm running there. We do yeah, how are you for home run there? You could pitch this things all done the biting gays is undeniable They're like vampires. He clamored me the whole time. They'll glam you he hit me with the Delaware glammer Also, I couldn't do politics right away. He's like dude we went to like the high school. He went to his rivals with the high school

I went to right away. He's like that's so cool. You know the same high school. I was like we're basically brothers

I can't have her be a polypline boy There's a region these guys are in pop They're actually good at that instantly this army in the hug the governor have it In my defense I was blacked out. It was at the Red River robbery

“Texas Oklahoma and I was trying to listen to social what do you not possibly down and I was like you should give people weed”

I don't even smoke weed I'm shit face. I drew I didn't give him softballs. I gave him the hard hitting truth. That's where we differ I ran into Governor Abbott at Texas first Oklahoma in the fourth quarter of blackout What's your deal with weed born, man? I'm just restaurant. He's the honor to be you sir.

I think he actually

He actually stopped the first thing that was gonna take the farm bill weed away

So he actually I think if I could be I could be wrong But I think he's dude. He's got to be blessed and job a little bit Go now. He's in the wheelchair. Yeah, I think he's got to be blessed and job There's no big arostomans vibe dude Oh, I go on

It's me Greg. I bet they're big, but In the dark wheel, Chad. Me 360 man. You think he ripped 360? He definitely blazes out of a pretty choice bowl. I Stevel the choice. He banned Delta 80 hates Delta 8. He's the biggest donor in Texas, Greg Yeah, there's no

It's called like alien That's the laptop of hell It's the laptop the laptop from sponsors

“You think he has a secret black light posters in his office?”

Somebody's gonna come in. He's gonna be like, no, don't hit that switch. Oh As soon as he turns the lights out in the governor's office. He's like me tired of all his foolish business Passed me me song, man So she shaped bomb. It's short. It's hard to tell Do you think he has access to the old you think he has

Do you think yeah he has a red laptop in his office? Only the direct connection to poor no b h q He's able to click. I am under 18. It sends him straight through. He's like that's what power is I was talking to Kirby's about obviously he submit he's missed the photo. I did bro I met one other person That's great. Of course. He's like, oh, I don't even care about it. I just

Races that he led to take the picture of his you know, it does like the bioscan of your face

Never there's no way no you can't there's no way you can't dude

The lonely gaze in your eyes dude. It's embarrassing to do it when you're iPhone when you get a new iPhone And it's like scanning turn you go left. Yeah You imagine that for porn up. Yeah Also they got you there's I I got you anyway. They got you know, you think they got you no matter what sure

“I think I wonder if the government for real has a file whether or like who?”

But up and like oh, yeah, you know tell room just like Yeah, they used to have to they used to have to build an island then bring kids now they just Got you in your hotel room. Yeah That I mean it's also you got to give the guy hug if you see abs you got to be like what's up But I didn't hug him. Yeah, that's crazy, but I think I was for real lean down to here

Real out is it was at the combo man That's so we really down to here any reached up. I think I might have hug he wanted you to pick him up We had had him around we we had been drinking since we left And that was that was a great trip Le Mare didn't make the spring or he was about 10 minutes late and just followed us in his car Wait was it oh

To Dallas you took the emperor ride right behind the spring that's our security detail

Yeah, I fucking slept too late. You slept. Yeah. Oh, I did you sleep in the Uber. I know you slept in that I missed the the spring and you slept in the Uber. Yeah, and if you slept in the Uber that means you farted in the Uber We're only far 20 sleeps Allegedly this is one of the biggest fucking horse feeds out of it. It's crazy. Dude. I don't believe I don't think it's physically possible for you not to fart all day

I have a pretty gassy baby of the baby, but I had milkshake though, so That you're so I mean this as a friend if they made a pharmaceutical commercial for not farting you'd be the spokesman They would film you it walking around in the park like throwing Frisbee be like now that I don't fart all the time I had a night last night that I was farting. Oh my god. It was so I had a I was whenever I tried to get up in the least Be a gentleman and go fart like it. I fart in our closet. I walk up and just ripping the closet

Come back out fart in the closet Dude, what is going that's the crazy shit. I've ever heard of two is there so bad. I'll walk into your clothes

“Why don't I go and fart on my clothes? Oh my like my suits for weddings. I just fart on them. How big is the closet?”

It's like it's like the size it's just narrow. Well, it's like the size of that couch a little wider I'm just ripping there though. They must echo. Oh, bro. They're like room crushers. I'll have like nine room crushers So I'm like I can't do nine room crushers to the babe. So I'll hit it in the closet chill make sure it doesn't trail me Fart of my suits and then I'll come back. Yeah, do you whenever did you go back in the closet? Oh, oh

That's some crossers lingers. Yeah, I give back to my work and then and then every time finally laid out

I'm like I'm not getting up again, and then I start the league game where I'll start leaking under the blanket And then I'll be like I think I'm safe think I'm safe. Yeah, but you give it a little on your side I'll try to fan I'll take a sip. I'll go boy That's a little bit of good Either the cheese seller. I go oh, but yes, I strong the poor god then she bitch about it

I when I I'll wake her up out of a dead sleep every now then she'll get a little container She'll wake up and go oh my god Like a sorry, but smell the sound smell all that's I'll be leaking them. I'll go to switch and then the blanket will rise I'd be so mad. Oh, oh, dude. She's right to be mad. If it's the sound. It's funny The smell is from the smell is fucking crazy I've got it a couple times every time I walk into the room that my wife's in and the house

I fart instantly Yeah, this is her off more than anything else that I do

“It was why would you do that and I guy I don't I literally I think it's when I'm around you. I fart”

I'm just relax me. I don't know. It's probably just because I just got off the couch playing video games for like two and a half hours in my body

Moving around for the first time, but I tell her it's like I see you and something happens inside my body

When I lay down for real if I lay down I'm like I'm clear out as soon as I lay down. I'm like instantly have to fart Someone about me laying perpendicular the bubble just goes straight out like a horse. It's like a level Like a level as soon as you move me the bubbles like Yeah, I was I was I was farting big time and it's like

It's like you think it's a favor, but there's something about it's like I can imagine. I'm a girl and then like the dude I know I'll marry you walks away. I don't know where he's going he hurt. It's like bedtime stuff Okay, I'm playing the blanky game. Oh my god. We're gonna we're gonna we're gonna leave these out under Everybody part in the interruption. I'll be in Raleigh in Charleston next week So please come if you can't take it to available at shongardini.com

I'll also be in Seattle in Portland and optimum noctis. Thank you. Thank you. Guys September 11th. This is big. I'll be doing stand up in Portland, Maine September 12th Stand up in Boston, Massachusetts Then just going on down rural look Michigan Milwaukee was constant Charlotte North Carolina Jacksonville Atlanta, Chattanooga

Fort Lauderdale Tampa Orlando Newark Baltimore Columbus Cincinnati San Diego It's crazy I'm not crazy. I'm I've nothing booked. It's awesome Just right freaking full season. Jumping in a bit

“Chain of you farted around any really important or famous people yet”

Probably farted in habits face. That's so far Crazy. I don't know if I have ripped too many really yeah I mean I'm sure because there hasn't been an occasion or because you're like it's probably not a great idea

There's never been a time where I was holding in a fork. I would never

You got what I'm holding it far. It's just very feminine. It is if you I ripped I went somewhere with a group of friends Farted so bad. I'm already in the 30 degree from Brittany. We're in a concession line

Wow, what the hell is going on here? I was looking at her like sh*t the fuck up shut the fuck up

You'll blow up my spot on a plane You'll go oh my god, yeah. Well, she rules dude. If you farted if you were my wife's like oh my god Did you fart? Also if I do fart and someone I know looks at me. I instantly left. I can't it's the fire. I can't hold it in We're on a plane. I did one that was for real offensive

And I literally she looked at me and I was like stop stop stop and I started laughing It's like that's disgusting. I wasn't me. I know is disgusting. Shut the fuck up

“Yeah, that was okay. I farted like you should start their shit. You gotta be like sorry. That's my wife. We've”

really laughed so gross

Yeah, the move is going oh my god. That's not like we've not even farted from a guy. It's clearly pussy

Yeah, it's a video of an Indian girl Indian guy playing screaming he's like whoever's farting Who are these? I ran into the Indian bus all last night. Who? Where there was a guy right before me at the bathroom He was in there. He came out. There's an Indian fella and the boy. He lit it up. He did something special in there. Oh my god Bathroom lines and gang bangs. That's a tough spot. That's what they're behind. Yeah God did work the only time McEvers ever

Even like frowned at me and all the time that we know each other was uh we we we got we got to make a commercials for GE silicone colk yeah like 11 years ago and it filmed at this like a production house

in like upstate New York and it was like it had pictures of all the famous thing. It was the

Schmitz gay beer commercial from Saturday night. That's all that house and we're walking around and we're like just gawking at all the like the comedians and shit on the walls and we're walking through one of the hallways upstairs and I like like a clapper go And there's a full production team and there's corporate there and there's people with clipboards and I clap one out and I start like anytime journey goes do not do that.

That's a good idea. Now you call it a clapper. I'm going to start being like I seem for at seven. Oh, that's another thing I get attacked for is I'll you know I give a little

“penash to my I'll like leave a little bit of lift the legs like why do you have to lift your”

leg like what's some fun to me talk about how to pony's try. It's the plunger on the end of the trumpet or whatever. Yeah little vibrato. It's interesting. I'm not going to nutcracker a fart in the sport stand perfectly. That's awesome. So offensive. Oh, yeah. That's a deal. A comment. A comment of freak. I'll keep the bubble between his cheeks. No, no, no, no. Yeah, you have to come up the front. He's by one ball. It's going to work. Yeah, that's like that's

going to fart in a pool. Come up. Okay, lift it. Whoa. Dude, I got a good look at goats. I forgot how large goats nuts were. Yeah. Goats have fucking dude. I'm not lying. Goats sacks are like that big. Fucking sick. Yeah. Kind of ruins it. It's fucking nuts. Where where are you? I was at that ranch thing. We had to eat one little ranch getaway for like a day and a half. It was that place so, so sick. So fun. He's got the feed animals. Got to go in feed goats. Look at their giant balls.

Dude, he's not going to see the balls. It's kind of fucked up. See that little mark right there? Oh, my shoe. Sorry. I can't. I don't have the ankle. Yes, that's it. That's a pig's kiss. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Had a nice pig came fucking, hit a little thing on my shoe. I was like, dude, that's going to make me happy every time I see that. You can see a video of the pig coming on the motorcycle tire. No, but have seen it. I have seen a pig come on up a ball in real life as a child.

A lot of times. We need a pig in our backyard. Dude, they come a little round of things. You know, those balls, you like jump on and bounce. We threw one in the pig pan and it would just fuck that ball and come

“all over it like constantly. I swear to God. It's crazy. Oh, I believe it. Yeah, we, I remember we gave”

me to my cousin. Oh, dude, bounce on this. He bounced on the pig. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. That's dude. They're like the warning. Yeah, I'm going to sad with it and just rub the company. Who's such a mean thing to do? I saw a video that bothered me speaking of goats balls. I don't like when you see animals, uh, dicking nuts. Uh, uh, I was there. It was a cute video of a very fat doxin, very, very fat doxin, but it was a female doxin. It got so fat that it had like a

pussy. It was discussed. Had a little put it in his pants. It was a full on. It was like laying on its stomach. It was so, everything was so swelled up that it looked like a fat dog was it had a, it looked

It might have pumped it. It might have pumped it. It really took me out of the video. I was like, he's a hard warning video. See it lay on its stomach. It's kind of, fuck. It's 75

“year old woman's vagina and doxin. Just lay it on its side. Trust me, do you see that doxin?”

You're going to get it over. That went through. Yeah, you're trying it, you're, it's funny because you're like on online trying to do the wholesome thing. I was trying to do the wholesome thing. It also just got that dog's out of fat pussy. The dog's pussy was crazy. You're in your bed just going down. I was looking at all kinds of shit as we can do. All kinds of dicks and balls on animals. It's all kangaroos, by the way. Not take. Brother, they don't do anything.

Yeah, lay on their side. It's fun to look at them. I want to see a jump. If I, personally, if I had a little thing with animals, I would have the kangaroos like, I would give them meth. So they were in Australia. That was fun. I liked seeing the guys later. They were lazy. I want to see them jump. I don't want to see a kangaroo lay down.

“Yeah. Be honest. I thought it was a rabbit. Oh, drove by him. I got fucked. They got rabbits.”

They came back and said, I don't know what was a kangaroo. It's just squared up where they don't get it moving. I should have got against the fence. Yeah, I just sold the ears. It's just, that rabbit six five. We're having it standing up. Looking at me. Not goats. I hold it down. Goats are the number one farm in my opinion. Goats rule. Goats are the number one farm animal. Did you get to try to scare them? They're not not made. I told you this. Not every goat is the

fucking fainting goat. I just, I just get excited when I hear about that. That is, but no, these most goats have you just heard scary enough? What are you talking about, dude? Did you even try? No, I didn't try to scare the goats. Why would be crazy to try to scare them? Dude, it's the whole thing. It's the whole reason they're around. You can't, we don't eat them or anything. Bro, I was in the cup. I was, I was in a pan with rams, rams are in there. Look, everyone wants to talk tough until

you're actually on the ranch. A ram would fuck you up. If a ram thought you were trying to make

it, it'd be like, first of all, we're not fainting goats. That's offensive. Like, we're not fucking

fainting goats. They're like, you know what, of goats. They're like, bro, the fuck. Well, let you pet us. You're thinking, I'm not sure I know what. There's just not a nice thing. I don't either. The retarder word. You can say it. It's funny you're saying the retarder word. Trying to do my family friendly shit. Bro, we didn't, we didn't put it online. We're not the Larry. We're not the fucking pornography, but we're not very dogs. Look at that, we're dog.

You got a whole pussy. Look at that, we're dogs for a reason. I'm on my family shaped dog tip. Yeah. I do like fuckship dogs. Yeah, we're these dogs. Corgies, they at Corgies are awesome. Yeah, that's a whole, for us, a whole algorithm. We stumbled upon it. The we're dog algorithm.

First of all, right, right, I've heard them show. I've been in it for a long time. He didn't know

it was a thing. It's fucking wild. Yeah, it makes me want to get a doxin. Yeah, I'll be nice. The oxa'd be good. I had the pleasure of hanging out with some Pyrenees as we can. They're a good dog. It's an enjoyable dog. Yeah, great Pyrenees. Big white. It's a fine case. It's a very fine case. There's a guard dogs. Yeah. The guard in the ranch. Here's your column. Hmm. You already got a guard. No, I need another guard dog here, though. True. The mayor is sleeping. He's not a good security detail. Mm-hmm. Not good security.

I'm good security. Yeah, not a sneak up on you every day. Every single mayor is a fainting goat. He's no one's greedy. If you change nothing about LeMare, but made him six inches taller, he'd be terrifying. True, but as it stands. He's like a bouncer in a plastic egg. You'd have put him in water. Yeah. It's a Russian nesting dog. Bigger ones out there somewhere. I can get some lift, dude. I can get the lifts.

“You should. I'd be six. Hi, Sergio. You could recover for six months. You could see that.”

Come out. You're five years. You want to tank in the pool? Yes.

Look at those lame goo for six months. You never run or jump ever again, but it's worth it.

You should get a fucking nut dog. You should get a nut dog and then just have like a full-time dog handle it or a speaks German to them. The real like police dogs be a big cat. I would enjoy the way better. Yeah. But it might not be loyal to you. Someone might attack you. It might be like whatever.

I'll go out to say yeah. I could get me moving a little. Oh, yeah, nice. No more video games. No more MLB to show you have a daypacks predator. There's a lion here. No, yeah, a Jaguar would be sick. Jaguar would be nice. Yeah, I can be like Indian guys. You know when they run through the village he's kind of fucking. They kind of just wrap it up and then keep running. There's on the roof of the pool. Yeah, the stick.

Yeah, you applaud. It'd be Claude like Jaguar would be nice. Just a scared intruder. Then you just shoot them in the face. Yeah, last thing they see is just a fucking gigantic cat. Yeah, I didn't think anyone would die. Come out from behind. These soundproof curtains with your boot knife he go. You fucked up. I've been waiting for you. Yeah, that's uh, I want to get mountain walls. That's my next dog. That'd be cool. That'd be really tight. They're they can literally they could jump that fence. You got to get them some teeth metal implants.

Yeah, be sure. I heard. I don't know how true this is. I heard there's military dolphins. Yeah, they've been trying. Yeah. Everybody's been trying for a while.

“Apparently the rug is just from you. Yeah, Russians had them. I think I mean, if you could train a dog, why not it often?”

Yeah, they'd train them to get like mines. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do they do? They like blow themselves up. It's fine. Probably sadly. Yeah. Or they find them and come back and see the tank dogs that you step. No, pretty cool. They put a bomb on the back of a dog and they train it to run under tanks. Yeah. Kind of dogs. They're right. I think at that point they're going whatever dog we get. Yeah, Joe. Beagles. Beagles of the number one.

Baremen. Yeah, lean dogs. Beagles.

And then there was a story where the Germans tried to teach, you know, they were always doing dumb experiments.

They were like trying to teach dogs how to talk. Really? It's just a very funny experiment. That is kind of funny. They're like, they're evil geniuses. Like, brother, dumb as fuck. He were really fucking around a lot. Considering how much they did. I mean, that a pretty serious heaping on their plates already. Yeah, they were, they had a lot to do. And then they were like, we need to also teach dogs how to speak.

That's that Durn meth. That is meth. That is that Durn meth.

“Here's the other thing. Your dogs are very compressive button for a different word. Yeah. I think they were all fake.”

Yeah, they're probably fake. Yeah, there's claims though that there's people claiming to be using AI to like, once and for all, be able to talk to dogs. So same thing. It's probably just at a loss. Yeah, I don't know. Sure. I can speak to dogs. Yeah, they're probably not same much. Yeah, he wants to snack again. Yeah. Can you believe our level of communication is unbelievable. He wants to go to sleep.

Yeah, some motherfucking boo. Bro, I was on my, I was a full mommy sleuth this weekend. I watched that hold a bait. The Candice, I was versus him. Who was she? Who was she to batting? Andrew Wilson.

So it was basically, again, it's who knows the real details, but it very much seemed like

TPUSA was like, bro, tip maker stop. What'd you get? And apparently he's not the thing, but it was, she's been, you know, on her thing about she thinks who knows killed Charlie Kirk. And Andrew Wilson was defending the official narrative. And he didn't win. A lot of people are now, a lot of people are claiming it was like an egregious loss. I'll be honest. I was too dumb to fall. I was just following it. Like whoever had more style would win to me. If you had

“a nicer day, I was like win. You got it. But she, she beat them on the, I think the real thing”

that got it was she was like, okay, so she like went and kind of, all the evidence of state was providing, she kind of gave, like, I would say decent counter arguments. And then she was like, name one of the charges. You think he's actually guilty of. And he was like, should I do you know the charges? She was like, name one. He goes, name all seven. How about that? He was like, I will name one. He was like, I mean, this is just ridiculous. You didn't know. And he was like,

the action. And the thing that he goes, all right, murder, how about that? She's like, it's actually aggravated murder. He goes, same thing. She has no, it's a huge difference. And dude, it was, it sucked. It was hard to watch out. It was nice to reverse. It was like name all seven. And I'll name one. It's like nice older brother trick. Also, she's definitely going to name all seven. And she asked the question for a reason studying like crazy. Oh, she, and the funny thing was,

she heard time was done. So it was just his turn to ask questions. She goes,

guys, that's one more question. First, he was like, no, you can't. And then eventually,

they came back and she was like, let me ask you something. Let's go ahead. Bro, it's, it was, it was, it was, uh, I don't know. It's just a funny thing. It's both are like, well, none of us know for certain. It's like, well, how the fuck do you win a debate about it? But, you know, it was, uh, you ever want to get into the debate circle? These guys are debating each other thrown at down all the time and challenging each other to debates.

That one's definitely wants to be. I want to do it. So it's like, you've got to get into it. I think my thing is probably less you. Thank you, guys. Thing is, I'm not a big fact guy. So it's like, I don't like memorize the facts and stuff. He really don't need to do it in fact. So you have

You need to buzzwords. It's like, it's like karate moves. They all have a name. That's a logical fallacy. That's actually a good faith pro bono. Yeah. Yeah. The fucking buzzwords are so funny. They try to hit each other. And like, that's actually not a, uh, it's buzzwords war. Couple straw, man. You know, and I think you'd crush your impossible to pin down. Yeah. Well, I fantasize about the debates, the debates feel a lot. You've got to get into it.

I want to, I want to jump right into a 20 V1 to be honest. You want to do a surrounded. Brownie. Oh, I want to get surrounded. Do you have a topic that you'd like to try on the lips or the, I don't know. That's a thing. Would you go lips? That seems like a easy, like a thing. I've been in the lips. Yeah. I don't want to go girls. One strong black conservative versus 20 female lips. That would be nice. 20 female lips versus I would say I would argue as their father.

What they should do with their life. So 20 daughters versus 20. What are you doing? Oh, come on. Not this again. Yeah. You've got to get killed. No. This one. $1 versus one dead. I would bro. I would smash you. You don't have crying. No, I would, I would if actually, I would if actually, I'm so sweet, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry

think it's in there. Guys, time for a quick break from the show for a special segment

“called more or less football preseason edition. Wow, that's what this is the, yeah. This”

is good stuff. Football is finally back. And price very, I wish you had that lady. Well,

you know what I mean, the dump, not the, not hit a lady. Football is finally back in price. But it's bringing out their best offer yet. New users who sign up will get $150 in line ups. If you win your first $5 line up, that's right. If you win your first $5 line up, you'll get $150 in line ups. And now, price picks is available nationwide. So this is what we're thinking for picks this season. Matt, what's your own Matt, what's storyline? What's your own? What's

storyline you think about this year? This storyline of football you think about. I'm really thinking about the browns. That's the big storyline. You're

“thinking more or less on stores and they can more on that. Well, yeah, maybe. Yeah, that's just storyline. That's what that's my”

pick. I'm saying that's what I'm doing. I like that more or less. It's the preseason game. That's what you're doing. That's what you 're doing. That's what you're saying more. I'll say it more. You're saying, Mel. That's a stack September. Let's go. Crazy football deals. Given users, new promos every day don't stack September. Okay, so now it's time to lock in your picks. Download the up today and use code

drench to get $150 instantly in lineups to win your first $5 lineup. That's code drench to get $150 instantly in lineups. If you win your first

$5 lineup, prospects. Run your game. Run your game. Did your grounds keepers getting so close right now. It's crazy fired up. He's just collecting and checked there's nothing to do out there. They're here seven days. We're here every month. There's nothing. There's nothing. Yeah, although they they're mulch. I did see the mulch. That's fire. That's better. Nobody tells me what anyone's doing. It's not my house. Did they scrape off the mulch? I was there before. That's a question. I don't care. I can care less. I might get out there and start screaming. We can do a little 20

“V1 right now. You have to. I have even sweeter spot for the lads. I love the lads. We are very”

led friendly pod. Hey, man. I just want to be honest. I fucking love those guys. Love the lads. Every job

I've ever had. I mean, dude, so much fun with them. I've gotten to see Matt first hand, drop into the drop,

job site and demand answers. What was the job site? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My way to work. I've got mixed up and it's like, that's this has to be someone's responsible with a button down. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, P. P. P. No, P. P. No, P. P. P. No, P. P. P. No, P. P. P. P. No, P. P. P. You've got to do it. The hard head. That should hard. Yeah, button down. You know what the real move is? You put it on in your truck before you get out. So you're not in any violation. You pop out already with the P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. E. It's the only thing that lads truly respect. No,

there's no. They see the, they see the button down. Cackies hard hat. They go. Oh, get up. The white. I got a white hat from the child Institute. Commercial of the boss. No, you get out. I know, again, I know,

all right, what are we doing? We're in a truck. True. Very, very true. Very true. Yeah, we'll just flare those out and flat whatever that word is. But yeah, no, I had to go down and fucking, you know, I'm learning, I'm learning more and more. The warehouse is in full effect. I like that.

“That's how Trump operates. I just saw a video of him describing the granite. They laid down in the”

White House. He was, you could tell that somebody just told him what it was. He and his, his history facts. It's very nice. Tell him with marble, you know, marble. It's porous, man. You, you don't want marble. It looks sounds nice, but that's going to be a bitch. Have you seen what you're doing to people? Is his history facts? No, like he had like Japanese prime minister. Oh, talk about the surprise attack on my ran. He was like, you guys know about surprise tax pro harbour. Why don't you tell me about

Pearl Harbor? He's Germany's chancellor in there. He's like, D-day. We're celebrating D-day. That was not a good day for you. And the guy's like, no, it was actually, yes, it was. You know, actually, it was good. I didn't mean to say it was not. It's also funny to be committing things now. But, oh, you guys remember fucking 90 years ago? Should tell me about Pearl Harbor. That's also, you know, who's in is here about that? That's all. That's the handy work of Betty Netten Yahu being like, oh,

you guys invaded the middle. We can't do a little Middle East Asian. Come on. You guys did it. It's like, yeah, it was like a fucking bad thing. Come on. Yeah, it was bad. Well, let us do. Well, we'll say this was a bad thing in 25 years. And you know, that was funny to be like, you guys here if have no right to talk about Middle East divisions. It's like, we know it. We know it. We did it. We know it. It's 20 long years. Yes. You know, Biden's the one who entered that whole thing. Pulled out every

game shift. Pulled out. Absolutely disastrous pull out game. The Biden pull out game is terrible.

“You have to admit how hard a hundred rides for his, he's just like, bro, yeah, obviously,”

we got shit for it. But we want to end the war more than anyone. You're like, dammit, you're right. Fuck. I was under the Biden spell. It's not wrong being under the spell. But the pullout game was crazy. Guys hanging on to the fucking plane. They pulled out midnight. They were like, bro, just leave it in, man. It's where it's pull out. It's a little bit of a joke comes out in Hunter. Dude, when he's talking about smoking crack, though. Yeah. I'm hoping about it.

That's my first. That's the only thing I like about them now.

I was smoking crack. You probably started like a fool in that crack, but I don't know. What if you don't everywhere that people that recover from crack, they all talk about how elite they felt while they were smoking crack. Tell you what ticks me off. Listen to him when he's talking about. He's like, alcohol is worse. Like, no, it ain't brother. Trust me. It's not. He's like, alcohol is way worse than the crack. Just everybody knows. He's saying from like a

physiological standpoint. Yeah. It's a cop is a complete cop cop for the crack. Yeah. It's like, yeah, it cracked, but you guys drink fucking alcohol. That's crazy, bro. Yeah. No, it's not that. That was like, I think train spotting and one of those movies did that where they had like, they should they would cut to all the guys getting drunk kind of like, yeah, it's the same thing. Yeah. I mean, the only reason it's bad is because it leads you to smoke crack.

Sure. I bet you smoking crack with your boys feels a hundred times cooler than drinking with them.

For sure. Yeah. Undeniably. Uh, drink with your boys rocks. They're the nine. I'm not. I was never. But now

the the the next day the crack. Yeah. Well, the next day's later. Next day. Yeah. No, that's definitely tough.

“But while you're following out does probably rock. Yeah. 100%. That's why you amazing. That's what I. That's kind of like,”

when you're an. You, unanimously, everyone's like, no, crack definitely rocks. Let's not get it. Yeah. Same thing with heroin. Same thing with all that. Hero and probably all rocks. Hero and no, I think there's a huge chance you puked that first time, which again, you're at the bro. You're on heroin. I fucking puked too. Yeah. Row, he's leaf blowing. And there's no empty dry concrete. Dude, it's probably some fucking pine needles in shit. Also, here's the thing, guys. I'm going to tell

you when you're leaf blowing, you kick debris every which way. So he's doing the right thing. He's covering the perimeter. Thanks. So what's got that backpack? I think it's nice. Yo, here he is. Get him in the shot. It's like ratings. Yeah. That's kind of like, I don't

like drive you mad when you're leaf blowing. You're always making more of a mess. So yeah, eventually

you had to call it. Probably, dude, if I were him, no one was looking, I had to go right into that pool. Let the filter take care. Oh, guys, problem. I was just here again. I don't know the windows. There's the window guys probably trying to get you to fuck. They're here every 10 minutes. Pull boys, probably all slutty out there. He's last time they brought three. Three. There was two guys in a girl out there. The pool is whole girl holds 10 feet long. Who's a puddle? There's 10 feet long and

three feet deep. Three three people out there is crazy. Three person squad's nuts, dude. I think they

they'll invite us to stay. Maybe we'll over a couple of beers. Yeah, pull girls. That's an asset, dude.

Thank you with the pool girls. Crazy. First of all, no such thing. That's crazy. Yeah. They came here

last time. You guys were outside smoking doobies. You saw the pool girl? They think it's a good time over here. Yeah. They bring all the bodies over there. They go, they could be out there smoking doobies. Smoking junk with the fellas. They go, holy shit. Optimum noctis is there. And the girl at the pool house was like, oh my god, I got to meet Gardini. The biggest hand, the best hand. Yeah. Number one hand. Number one hand and the creaking cave. Number one hand.

Congratulations. It's official. There's fire. I'm just surprised you guys got that because I heard nothing but almost nothing but negative reports. We were surprised too. I think it

made a bit of a kind of sick joke. I don't think it is. I don't think it is. I think you guys are just

you're so depressed all the time about it. You go, everyone hates us, the creaking hates us, everyone hates us. You got a trophy for best fucking guys to hang out with. Best green room hang. Yeah. In Austin, Texas. Optimum noctis. A presented the award to the boys. How does Tommy feel? Tommy was up for that award. I don't think he knows he won another award. He won the best Philly transplant award. Best Philly transplant. Yeah. Tommy spoke. He wasn't there to accept it though.

“This is outrageous. Yeah. We can pause if you want to. But Tommy was up for the best hang.”

Best green room hang. Half of these guys are probably fucking leaf blown right out.

I don't even know. It's also nice. I don't know. I don't think it's a nice little ground sound bed.

Yeah. Some ambient. I mean, I am having trouble hearing you though. Oh, yeah. It's right. You're ears. That's the music to my ears, man. A little too strong. A little too strong. I know, man. I know. I'm hoping that's a too strong one wrong on that. I'm going to be a bitch. A little too strong. All right, man.

Little mixed fuel sounds like some mixed fuel burning over there. Do you ever put the mix? Do you ever fuck up the gas and put the wrong shit in? Yeah. No. Dude, I put, I put, I think it was a me or somebody put regular gasoline into a weedwacker. My, my dad. I'm probably lost. Dude, they were so into a siphoning gas that you would blow a thing. And then you would go, it would call it my uncle. I remember my uncle was got damn it. Spits gas out of his mouth. I'm like, dude, what? Come on. Don't

spit out, man. You want to do all that? It's, it's hard, oh shit. It'd be like, god damn it. He was siphing gas constantly. He just spit out him now full of gas. I was like, dude. Don't worry, fellas. I'll suck it out of the day. Oh, it's in my mouth. I know some fellas around here that was swallow it, but I'm not allowed to make fun jokes anymore. I promise no gay jokes.

What? What? Nothing. Nothing. Fair. There's no well. That's no well. Yeah, it's graduated from

“PA's to OL's. True. Tal goes. That's how it goes. Yeah, well. No, no, no. It's not an OL. It's not an OL.”

It's just bit of an OL. It's only, it was only in OL because, all right, now we don't have to. Well, now it sounds like I begged you to, we can edit this right up. I'm not editing it now. God, he's turning it on here. The knockest boy that I just boys. It was the best thing. It was the best hangout. It was, it was not real. What happened? It's just, oh, yes, speaking of, we can just go straight into joke world. How was it, guys? Hoseworld. I see. Hoseworld as well.

I'm sorry. He's got a great time. Yeah, I had fun too. I heard somebody was a little grumpy. No, yeah. Well, it was just a love of love. Yeah. Mr. Lov, Lov. You didn't go. I was a grumpy. I was just a little sick. You know, you run to the weather. You brought influenza to Hoseworld. Yeah, and I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't hanging too much. Yeah, you keep it down right this high. Yeah, so what happened? Give me the run down the joke world. The funny thing that I wanted to bring up was the mayor tried to get us all to go in on an

“Airbnb. I remember that, but he didn't mention why. And then his turds, uh, he's rigidally. Yeah,”

just wanted us all to pay for the Airbnb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's being a girlfriend, hell. You know, girlfriend does that. Well, I've been trying for months. It's going to become serious. We're all, my world. That was not so funny world. Yeah, I'm trying for months to get them an Airbnb with me because I was like, you guys just do this Airbnb thing because it's so tell us going to stink. Yep. Everybody's just going to be next to each other. Hit him with the Airbnb and she. Yeah.

And then they tried for like two weeks and everybody was like, no, no, it's like, all right.

You got worked out for God. Yeah, or whoever you're going to have to share room with

“the Americans. Yeah, they're bunk up. Yeah. Yeah. You got to share with somebody. Yeah, you're own,”

who it was in your quarters? And Andy, um, the amount of freedom. We have a great time. We just kept black. We would give McDonald's at the other night and black out. We thought we're going to keep each other up with our sleep app, no, but don't even remember falling asleep tonight. Yeah. No, no, you don't even know what happened. I heard of anything. I heard Joe. Well, exactly. I heard, uh, you said, I heard Joe Crowe was a hoot though. Really? Yeah. You have a hoot?

I got my own hotel room. Oh, but that was because they, they like assigned us buddies. It was all

double hotel rooms. And when I found that out, I was at, oh, man, that might stink. And then I found

out that my partner was Tommy. And I, uh, I hit up Tommy. I was like, yeah, dude, we were bunking together. And, uh, and then I got to follow up, you know, saying that I got my own room, so Tommy complained. Tommy didn't respond to me, and then complained to the festival. I was like, bro, we're getting the

“hangouts so much. That's how he's eyebrows. I was so excited. That's, also lonely in my room. Oh,”

he cares masterful lives. Good for him. What the fuck? Oh, shit. I mean, that's fair. Oh, yes, absolutely. Yeah. Also down in the dumps about it. Really? No, that's such a thing. I was like, we're going to go watch cool videos. We could bring beers back. And then I, I ate 12 chocolate cup judge chip cookies by myself and bedding our diarrhea at the festival. And you know, someone there to stop was crazy. What about begging you to buy those cookies? No, you were begging me to share them with you. I said, no, thank you.

They were overpriced hotel cookies. And I gave myself a little bit of tardy stars. I mean, the cookies back in the fucking four man hotel room. I mean, the dates. I'm not proud. I'm not doing proud to admit I've gone in on some pay to the hotel. For sure. Yeah, there was a hundred to go ahead and try to see the house. You know, this is blow in the front door. So what happened at the festival? Just got got hammered. The old thing we'll take a leaf low break. I mean, we had a good

time. We had a nice time at the festival. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I just got drunk. You guys are Mary. You just had a Mary. Well, I'm Mary in the top. But the girlfriend there being be bothered to you a little. No. No, not see a little Mary. Maybe a little say. But the girlfriend being beaten by me. Oh, I was just worried. I was, he was trying to bamboozle us and then I, I don't

“think of the Mary with bamboozle. I believe you're explanation. How was the experience? I'm sorry”

for putting you on blast. There being, yeah, it was funny. It's a funny thing. How was the experience from your perspective? These guys were pure fucking infantry down there, farting, black and out. Yeah. Well, you were, were you doing just like going out to restaurants and shit? Yeah, I was just laying down a lot. I just sleep in. That's the number one bay move. Let's come out to eat before the show. It's like, no. Okay. Yeah. No. Yeah. Not now. Hey, here's four people

I met in college once. Let's go out to eat with them in the show. So how do you get them to stand up? I have a show. I have a very important show. I'm a very important show. Now, we're going to have a sugary daggerie, right before it come on. Drink one of these. Yes, that doesn't sober for most of the festival. I said, boys, come on. This is not scanic festival. Let's show some decorum here. Yeah. I was so pissed that everyone partying the whole time.

That's good. I mean, you guys just go down there and party and act like full of men. You're going to put together a nice thing for you. You go, this isn't good enough for me. This hotel. It's our only friend on the internet. It's our only friend on my own. See, only good guy that likes us. Yeah. Everyone else. No. We're different. You guys. Yeah. You guys. Yeah. You guys. Yeah. They've got to go down there. You're like, you can't control me. From beginning to end.

Start to finish disrespect. I do a really awful lot to go. I'm not going on that fucking bullshit. I did extra spots. Seeing in person was really to win a disgrace. It was a disgrace. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, I pay. And he's what I meant. There's another lot of pay. He's was a great

time. The mayor told me that it malfunctioning. It was carrying the first city was killing. And he's a beast.

Yeah. He was doing great. It's awesome. It's good to hear. He's a vibe man. Yep. Oh. I saw it. He held you down. I didn't do anything that wasn't fun. I've been nothing but nice. Sean, that's something about anything. It's exactly right. Well, you're, yeah, you're pushing back. What are you pushing back on? No. Yeah,

in the hotel. I'm just turned those cookies in a crumbs. Yeah, pulverizes. Oh, it's

cookies and cream. Cardini was the highlight of the weekend. Was this at the festival before the, it was raining unexpectedly. And none of us had umbrellas. And we walked out of the building. And there was like a group of like four or five of us and Cardini went. Oh, shoot. It's raining. It is also funny to see a bunch like nine dudes come out of two wheel tail rooms. Like,

“what is going to run umbrellas really quickly? Excuse us. Where are my gloves?”

And evening jackets. Like, we're going to do an Assassin's funeral, you know? No, we just got wet. It was probably like still down work hotel. Oh, those all those assassins in one hotel. God, damn dude. Was, was, was Joker all the man? Was he running around? Jake,

Jake, we're all he's the, he's the sweetest dude ever. He's a rock. And it was like, well,

Ron, I don't have any complaints about. I wish I had something funny to make fun of him for, but he's just a sweet dude and tried really hard. And I mean, he would make so much more money if he hated us and thought we were all gay. I know. He would make so much money. It's crazy how he let all the, there's 19 clip channels that think, this is the gayest thing you could be doing. And they're all like Mr. Beast numbers now. Yeah. And Jake, what else? Just like, no, this is cool. Yeah,

not even the gayists are like, these are the most morally repugnant human beings to ever walk the face of the earth. Yeah. YouTube plaque. Yeah. There's blood on your fingers. It's 27. They're

“going to start threatening violence, I think. I think someone's going to be like, I'm going”

down to Austin. I'm going to put it into this. I mean, hey, yeah, those guys are out there for sure. There's no shores of those guys. Yeah. They're inky bait and for sure. So matched. Yeah. Unfortunately. Yes. Yes. Yes. I've been having a good old time. I've been doing my my summer, my summer comedy clubs were awesome. It started home, blast. Okay. No. San San Jose was fucking nasty. So yeah. Way to go all the time. Good old, good old time. And that's great. Yeah,

it was nice. I'm telling you, doing opening for you at the link, like literally broke my brain. Yeah. Right. I like now is it's weird. I like anywhere else I go. I'm like, I like can't freak out anymore. I'm like, I don't. My brain can't just like, it used up all my freak out juice. Pause. And it just, I literally don't have it left now. I was like, okay, we'll see what happens here. Yeah. That was,

yeah, I was fucking terrifying. It was nuts. We were sitting in a third row with Lewis. And we both had

panic attacks just looking up and seeing people in the entire periphery of your vision. If you look straight into the sky. Yeah. There was so many fucking people. It was a real street fighter background. That like upper level. Oh my, this is a video game background. Yeah. Your brain is just like, okay. The thing that sucks is when I brought out to tell me and him we're supposed to do like a lot of time together. Yeah. We couldn't hear each other. Heard. It couldn't hear anything. I can't say

something. We couldn't. It couldn't rift it. The real, the impossible rift. Yeah. That's, I every word I said I could hear it eight times. Yeah. That'd be like, good, good, good, good. And then the funniest part that made me laugh, I was like up there. I'm like, all right, here we go. Chill out. We got this. Sound guys are probably fixing. I look over at them. Like two minutes in just. Yeah. Oh, right. I was backstage screaming. It was like, why the

fuck is it echoing like that? Oh, the fuck. Dude, they were doing shit. They were fucking out. Everyone was fucking that show up. Dude, like, two sound checks. It was so much going on. You know, they said they go, once people are in here, it's going to pad the sound. We'll be there. I,

“dude, it was every, they had that like the, that's why I should hear it. Where's that fucking shit in”

rear? We needed, we, we, you know, we need these. I know. Sure, change yourselves. Should've went rocks out of the lifestyle. We could have. We had to do that. I did that any other time. Yeah. No, it ain't, we did that. What the hell? Zack Ryan's people do it. Dude, that would have been sick. That would have been my new Facebook profile picture all on stage with the ear button. We've been tight. They were fucking out. They tossed on. There was no communication about

when the show starts. They're like, flyovers right now. We got to go. I was like, send it. There's nothing we can do about that. Yeah. They're like, all right, get bam ready. It's like, don't get them ready. Yeah, wait. No one's in the fucking stadium. That's kind of fucked up. It's for the night. Toss them on screen for a minute. He was like, yeah, I've ready to start the show. And then I was like, oh, yeah. He means to me. Me, me, me, my band back. Yeah. That's my band for the night. Exactly.

Bams mine for the night. Give me my band. That's kind of fucked up. They just took your

Bam. Oh, my god. That was such a nice. It was so nice to meet him. He's the ultimate

“ledger. Yes. He's fully back. He's back. Bro, he, I've seen him land in 360”

hateful upstairs. He's back. He let him back in his house. He's back for the last time. They return to the king. Dude, that's all. Literally. They return to the king. He's the carry force, the skateboard. 100%. The prophecy's been fulfilled. It's back. I saw him with he's got his boy now. He's got a little boy. Saw a video with his little boy and everyone's saying he just looks like Bam looks like Don Vito. Why are you eating? It's really funny.

Yeah, he's I fucking love that guy. That was wonderful. He's a full on superstar. He literally became like a giant suit. He did the full experience. It's kind of sick. What was happening to you this morning? He said something was going on. Oh, yeah. I had a really strange thing happening to me this week. That was awesome. Oh, I was so I did the the 30 minute gas digital thing. And

I don't know. You guys have done multiple specials and the whole time at every juncture. Are you

worried that something's going to make the entire thing fall apart? Yes. From the second that you

say yes to doing it. You got there's going to be a disaster that derails the entire thing. It's everything I do. Right. For sure. Forest fires before the Eagles show. And I was like, I didn't even think that was not another smoke. My brother was spreading rumors that it was mass mandatory. And I like, I threw, I threw, I believed them. I was like, oh, dude, fuck. This is really weird. I got everyone was like, are you canceling the show? I was like,

I'm not going to cancel. No, we're doing it. It's going to happen. The smoke added to smoke is saying a lot. Very into the world. Very cool. Yeah. Right. So every so every every juncture, I said, yes, those guys, what's going to get canceled? They're going to say they changed their mind. And then it's like, well, there's not going to be anyone there. And the show's sold out. And it's like, okay, cool. And then it's like, well, okay, now everyone's here. They're going to see me fucking bomb. And then

the show's went great. And then it's like, all right, well, you know, they probably didn't capture something failed. Like every step of the way. I'm waiting for the entire thing to fall apart. But it keeps going better and better. And it's like, whoa, there's like a tiny success instead of a failure.

Every step of the way, it never goes away. The edit. I'm going to the edit. It's going to be a

nightmare. We're not going to be able to capture something. Dude, we cut it cut down perfectly into the time that we needed. And I was like, all right, well, now I'm going to upload it. No one's going to care. And I was going to like, they're going to go, I don't know what that crowd was like, the online viewer is going to hate it. And so I just, it's just a night one point in the way I didn't get to enjoy any of the small victories. I didn't enjoy the night of the shows. I went, well, this is just,

I'm not even halfway there. But it just keeps building and going great. And all the way up into the day that it's supposed to come out. And I'm like hand trembling on the mount. I'm uploading the YouTube video myself. And I'm just like, there's going to be an issue. And there was like a technical issue. And then I'm like, this is the last fucking thing I need to. It's like, it's sorry. I said, everyone, hey, come to my YouTube channel. It's seven o'clock on Tuesday and check this shit out.

I'm going to look like a fucking idiot. And I'm in the middle of troubleshooting it. And I swear

to God, the second that I figured it out. And it's like the last click of the mouse before the thing

“goes up. And it's all scheduled. And I got the, is the title correct? Is the description right?”

Everything is finally in place. My cat walked into the living room and dropped dead in front of us. It was waiting. It was holding out. There. It's like, this is dog. What? What? Drop dead on the spot. We've had this cat for like 10 years. He's older than my youngest son. He would do, he would escape the hood together. We had him in Kensington. He did. And when I did, this is the video is uploading and Mary Jo starts like freaking out. She goes,

something's happening. And I, and so that I go in the living room and the cat is laying himself for the sacrifice. He literally, yes. I sacrificed my dearest closest to the cat's name. Andy. Andy. All right, dude. Andy's on the floor in the living room. And his tongue's hanging out. And he's like, his eyes are wide open and his breathing is really slow. And I'm like, she, she's like beside herself. She doesn't even know what to even cry. I'll tell him to hold on. I swear, I had my phone to my hand.

And I'm like waiting on an email reply on something. I'm like, and I, so I got down.

“And, uh, CPR. I can't have nothing. Did you really? You have to.”

I had to. Is there a specific thing for cats or the same? No, I don't know how to do it for a human. So I'm like, huh, pumping your chest. I'm like, Andy, wake up, buddy. Come on, pal. And I, and I cut my hand around his mouth and I go, and his body goes, and I'm like, I think it's working. And I keep doing it. One point, she has to be like, I think he's gone.

It's for an email about this thing. When I just uploaded that, I'm like, I hope this isn't a,

the huge disaster for me. And mark the time when you gave up on the cat. To, calling it.

“To, if you're giving them me out to me. Yeah. That's what I said to my wife, dude.”

The kids are at school. So they're not seeing this. I had to call a service to come pick them up to cremate and for us. And, uh, I mean, the whole family's fucking, like, headache crying with each other. It was like a, it was like a religious moment of everyone just like sobbing by the time the kids get home. And, uh, I was, I was the one that broke the news of the kids. And, um, he were like, also, and specials kind of a lot of you. This is before he goes by. This before it goes live. So I'm like, uh,

I, you know, I'm like, guys, I don't know how to tell you this side of the, Andy, uh, I don't know. We have no idea what happened. But he got, get everyone in my fan box. Yeah. And I go, and I tried to save him. Did you get the they weren't wife starts going, and she's laughing, thinking about me giving them that. But you don't, you don't know how Andy passed. I think we, we had another calf in the same litter and he died, like, as a kitten from this, like, in the same exact way. But they didn't do it. Paul Topsie.

“I mean, that's how you say, again, it's for the world.”

There was no autopsy. Paul Topsie. I told Randy said, you gave him CP, you are. So far. Yeah. That's a, yeah. That's tough. Ripp Andy. So we have it. So it, it's, uh, it's going, it's going, the specials going great. But we haven't, we went out to dinner last night of his book. We were supposed to be like celebrating it. We're just sat quietly. This nice reason. No one's feeling it. Well, I'll say Andy was big. The last Andy was enormous. I see a picture of Andy. New. It was an

absolutely a nuke upon my house. Yeah. Andy was definitely like our videos initializing. I've done everything. Yeah. I got out of candy. What do you say? This is it. There's no more I have to offer for you. It was done. Solid half an area. Another half in the tent. There's Andy, two on his own foot. Damn. Yeah. He's the man. He made this really awful sound when he would chew on his nails. And it was like, that's for it's talking to him. We're gonna need this video for the. You guys are going to

want to take a look at Andy. You're going to see Andy. Yeah. That is a good cut. And yeah. So we haven't,

and then also it's like, my kids have never seen me do stand up before. So we were going to like all

watch it together. That's nice. And it's like 30 minutes of me being like, man, being a dad is really hard. You guys have a raise a teenage girl before. So they all want, they, we just canceled the viewing. And they all went to bed and they all watched it in bed and just like, my daughter's like, so having a teenage girl's really tough. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was fucking joking. Yeah, that's crazy. You're just in my point too. I mean, this has been the most stressful week of my entire life. Yeah.

But it's special going well. That's good. That's awesome. Can't die. Dollars mad. I had some angry, the boys were depressed. I had some angry family members from my YouTube special. Yeah. I mean, you got a ruffle for it. If you're not pissing someone off, do you have the donor? I mean, yeah, whether it carries the call left. It is what they're looking there. So not ready for, you know, you're speaking truth about, you're speaking truth to sisters. You're speaking truth to daughter.

Yeah. I really, really day when my kids get old enough to be like, dude, what the fuck? You're like, it's not as bad as you think. Do you like your house? Do you like a car? Yeah. Okay. Okay. And Josh. I had to talk about Jack and off for seven years. It's yeah. Well, fucking 12 years. Well, yeah. It's going to be fine there. My daughter thinks we're all gay, but it's funny. My son's thinking this is that we're, we're really cool guys. Yeah. It's not like hell. What an illusion. You know?

Yeah. And it's not so bad. Yeah. It's, you know, it is what it is. It is funny that I have zero ability to appreciate anything. So there's anything it's done from doing anything. I'm like, okay, that's done. All right. Now I'm going to work on something else. They're like, no,

“you should really sit back and like, really take this in. I'm like, I can't. It's fun. I thought it's,”

I'm not capable. I did it at the link. That's nice. I've made sure that while I was on stage,

you'd be like, all right. It was that that and the first time, SNL. Yeah. That was didn't go after

shook hands with 900 people. Yeah. Just you and me walked back into the studio and I was like, that was sick. I got about five minutes of happiness there. 10 seconds of happiness. I still don't even like talking about it. I don't even discuss it. I can't even talk about it. That just adds you to see. Oh, that's got a nice. That I'm unhappy with everything. Yeah, but you have to be if you don't speak, I prefer not to talk about it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I think that was

it goes intense. I don't want to talk about it. I have designs and I tell me what you think about this. I want to enter you into high society. You have to make it, you have to now enter like

make your debut. What do you mean? You have to host like a gala for high societies and they come out and be like, what did I love the evening and then everyone's going to be like, he's in the food.

“I could easily do that. You have to do it. Now you have to conquer high society. I'm reading”

you all for coming. Thank you all for coming. I was with high society at the soccer game this week. What are you really? I got they thought I was cheating on sweet Bud Light because the person next to me had to dose ackeys in the cup holder. That's what we're going to get Bud Light and they were like the chain. The second the camera was on him. His agent was like, dude, you need a Bud Light in your hand. It didn't even know the camera's on me. I wouldn't have. It's a Viper's Dan brother.

It's a Viper's Dan. I'm reading that book right now. It's all about like Russian aristocracy. It's it's my favorite. Like the 1800s Russian aristocracy or any aristocracy. It's so funny.

Yeah. Everything you're always rising and falling. If like your son does something weird,

everyone's even gay. Well, and TMZ ran an article that was like, he was drinking Bud Light. Don't worry about it. I'll bring that. That's even more of a call. Somebody somebody did something.

“And I texted who I texted people like, don't do that ever. Whoever did that. Don't do that.”

You fired your publicist. I was a little annoyed with whoever did that. Yeah. And I don't know who did it. Oh, they won't tell me. Your people are going to turn on you all once they're going to kill you like anish. For sure. If you shine to you, if you shine to you, bright and society, someone will try to take you down. Of course. Got to be careful. I'm going to start making designs on you. It happens in stand-up. If you go on the road for somebody, people on any of the thing,

fucking BZ. I'm going to bring him down. He's not as good as he says. The Knox's boys will bring people down. They'll stab them. I've seen you drag people to the dirt. The bow to the lift and people up. And plfying, boys. The guys who don't get a bunch of spots around town, the spot at the Knox. Then you drink a couple of whiskey, and you go, you fucking shit. I didn't say you could get on this stage. Yeah, you did. You were just drunk again.

“Fine. Get on stage. Why is there 16 people at the show right now? That's what happened.”

Three of them go their separate ways. Get drunk. Invite people to Knox. There's 15 comedians around. They go, who did that? I think a fucking piece of shit. Three people actually flew here for this. It's the best green room, hang? It is a sick egg. Where do you only agree with the wings? Those are good wings. Where are those wings from? The trip. Yeah, delishers wings. Yeah, they're yummy. Very yummy. We got it, dude. We talked about,

was that on the Patreon? We talked about Hobdoddies for 45 minutes. Yeah, yeah. We got it. Hey, Doddies bro. What's that? It's a burger place. It's not. This is a paper. It'll be there. It's fucking sick. You got to start getting out of places before. And it goes to like 7 p.m. And again, not pay promotion. It's just, I love it. One day recently, I went to a soft opening. So I got the eat there for pretty much free. And now it's, I've been like, that's the best.

I talked to the regional manager. Nice guy. It might be my favorite place. And we're all now. Guys, six years old, tell you what, he looks like it's about maybe 49. God, looks good. He looks

good for his age. It's incredible. That's great for his age. I love to see an old man looking good.

It actually kind of bothers me to be honest. Yeah. One of the old guys, like, still cares about his looks a lot. See, this guy, though, struck me as an old, he's an old bar guy. So I kind of like an old bar guy to be like, yeah, man, I can drink it all the time. Look, I was fucking great. I don't know what they're talking about. That's obviously something I looked like. It was kind of nice. It was definitely, it was, he was cracking me up. I got crushed at the

track that I was running one afternoon. It was hot. And there was a guy there, like, like, completely white, long hair, big white beard. They're like a slightly older boy with them. And he was just, he literally was like, it's a great CEO guys, like us getting after him. Oh my god, man, I'm only fucking 40. Let's fucking, what, what did he look like? Any other young boys of fucking Aristotle? He was just a Greek philosopher, John. Good about this is my boy.

Goodman, try to get me into his face. He's like, let's wrestle. Good. No, let's fucking wrestle. All right, pop your clothes off. Pop off those trousers. Pop off those fucking trousers. My little running shorts that don't wear underwear underneath. You don't, you run with no onions? No, if they have, I have shorts that have like a thing. I love doing that.

I always go to Brittany and go, I'm not going to get away from me. Showing penis to the

babe is really fun. Just show no reason sweaty, flasad penis being like, yo, you're ridiculous. That's nice. The nice move. I wish they would do that back. That'd be great. Bro, flash, it'd be crazy. Yeah. Stretch one lip out of the side of the shorts.

If we're out eating burgers or something, she went, yo, go some pickled onions, I'm going, yo,

“chill, babe. Oh, sure. I seem to drop my earlobe.”

Go, got your earlobe. Now it's down here.

All right. Well, gosh, darling, we'll catch you on the Patreon. Check out Tim's special.

“Yo, it's on my YouTube channel. It's really good. Where can they find it?”

Uh, YouTube.com slash Tim butterly. It's 30 minutes. Guess it'll present 30 minutes with Tim butterly.

Please check it out. I think you'll like it. 30 minutes nonstop, gut busting laughs.

“Unbelievable. You're ready to crack up. Check out what's the name of it? 30 minutes with Tim butterly.”

30 minutes with Tim butterly. Description below. Yes. Click the link below. Thank you, guys. You. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify. Do it.