Chapter 54: A Diner in the Desert.

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So, my name's Jack Valentine. Seekers, uh, the guy who looks like a golden retriever and the aggressive one with a moldy leather jacket. The dealer killed seven students in the 90s. This is number eight. You need to let this go.

This isn't about my feeling. Isn't it? Half price price for the King's Arms. Jack is not a good role model. Do not copy her. I can walk on my own.

Mind your furniture. A human is dead and your scent is at his house. She still has blood on her lips.

“I think I'm in trouble seriously. I need your help.”

It's inhumane. And we aren't human. Whoever's doing this is clearly targeting you. Jack Valentine Vampire Detective is an urban fantasy audio drama by Josie Jaffrey.

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Previously on Middide Burger, the cube is made of the same stuff you're made of, right? Yes. How indestructible are you? I don't know. Put us in the path of a gun.

Hang on. Okay. Here it comes. Jesus Christ, holy shit. Give me your hands. I love you guys.

For me, I want to move someone's.

Let's start the shift.

“I was able to spare a few ships to scan the area,”

and there doesn't appear to be any sign of them. But we are talking about three people in the vastness of space. Could they have teleported away? Something stopped that beam from hitting the diner, Gloria. I can't see how they could have stopped there.

But we are talking about three people in the vastness of space. Could they have teleported away? Something stopped that beam from hitting the diner, Gloria. I can't see how they could have stopped the attack and somehow gotten away. They jumped in front of the bullet force.

What does LiBus is say? I think it best that LiBus is a focused on Crock's planet. They appear to have powered down the weapon for now. It's likely that they see Casper's intervention as some sort of malfunction on their part, and are trying to assess what's happened.

Do you think there's any way they could have survived? Not by any conventional wisdom, Fiona. The amount of energy that was heading for the diner was world-killing. It's astounding they were able to stop it. But Eva said she saw the weapon tested on Crock's planet.

Why didn't it destroy his planet? According to Dr. Maddox, the weapon utilizes energy harvested from vacuum fluctuations. Energy such as this dissipates very quickly. The amount of energy required to reach across a galaxy would need to be massive to counteract the energy loss during transit.

“Look, if there's any chance they could be out there, you have to keep looking for them.”

That's how this works. I understand that, Captain. But we need to accept certain realities. As of now, the diner is completely vulnerable. If they decide to fire their weapon again, there will be no way of stopping it.

We're going to jump in a few minutes. We'll be safe then. Yes. Which means I have 12 earth hours to consolidate what ships we have and begin our assault on the home world.

I'm unsure what else to do. Other than hope. She's crazy. We're going to jump soon. I'm not sure where we're going, but if the three of them are still out there somewhere,

that's where we're headed. You think so? You said you don't understand how they could have survived using any conventional wisdom. We don't really do conventional wisdom around here. Very well.

Then it's a good thing I've sent you some backup. Backup. Gloria, it must have taken a ship inbound. Shit.

They insisted I sent them to you.

What was that? Where's the backup? Listen. No fucking way. In McWaze?

Turn home.

“You wayward children says the Lord for I am your master.”

I will bring you back. Thank God. Why is she hunting the radio? The McWaze are back. Like the people who live in the radio?

Yeah. That was real. That was so real. It is a mess. And this house.

Gloria, we have returned.

And I'm so happy. Greetings all. I'm Zebul on McWaze. Here with my wife, Effy. I am confused.

Times may be dark. But we are here to cast one light we can, Gloria. Fiona, how do you fare? I'm good, Effy. Guys, this is Phil and Voon.

Tip of the hat to you, Jins.

“That Mr. Voon has quite a bit of altitude on him.”

Doesn't hate ear. Cloud formations around the top of him. Do you? I am detecting no technology. Don't worry about it.

Please to meet you as well. Phil up. Whereabouts do you hail from? I'm from Tyler Texas, man. Well, now Phil up.

Where's that? Texas twang. Yeah. That's the funny thing about Texas. Some people can't help it.

And then for other people, it's kind of a choice. George W. Bush was the only guy in that family with a Texas accent. You know what I mean? Tyler.

We do someone from Tyler. Didn't we do? That'd be Natalie Bartlett. And her husband Beaufort. Hi, yeah.

Traveling salesmen. The both of them. In cyclopedias. Good ones, too. Guilt Edge.

Better bow.

“You ever run into either of them, Phil up?”

No. I must have missed them. No surprise there. Natalie was a peach of a gal, but that husband of her was the type that blended in with the furniture.

If you don't mind me saying. Gloria, we have heard the news of our friends. But let's not call the race before the finish line's been crossed y'all. Guys, Cousie isn't very optimistic on their chances of survival.

Well, now Fiona is optimism. What we've come to expect from Cousie. No. There is no choice but to hope in times like these Fiona. If you say so.

In fact, we do Fiona. Gloria, when are we set to shove off? Any second now. Very well, then. That gives us some time to clean up that mess in here.

Looks like we've been hit by a tornado or two. Y'all, we have lost souls to find.

But first, let's all grab a broom and make room for good fortune to find

us, shall we? Good idea, guys. Luckily in the kitchen, I shall continue my research. I'll take front of house. And I'll go feed the murder beast.

Hey, the button now. [Music] Don't mind me. Just sitting on top of a huge glass cube in the middle of the desert. Carry on.

See anything? Now, I went to the top of both bridges, nothing for miles. Just one road and a desert as far as the eye can see. Any idea where we are? Well, there's one sun and that looks like our moon, so I guess we're on earth.

The desert's no joke. We might be in the Sahara car drove by. It did. Did you try and flag it down? Should I have?

I don't know. We can't stay out here forever. I know. What do you think happened? I don't know, it's all kind of a blur.

Do you think we saved the diner?

I don't know. I really liked her. I know.

“Look, X has been down before and she managed to fix herself.”

Didn't you say that took a few decades? I did, but she was okay eventually. Let's not spend a few decades out here. I know. How could she be gone, but we're still here.

I don't know. We were trying to take the hit for the diner, but maybe she decided to take the hit for us. Somehow it's hard for me to figure out what she did. When I have no idea how she works. At least we didn't wake up to pieces of her strewn across the desert.

It's an art installation. I don't know. Do we live here now? I don't know. Do you like flatbread?

Why? If we're in the Sahara there's going to be a lot of flatbread. Sounds like all have to like it.

Well, there's always a McDonald's somewhere.

Have you been here before? Does the Sahara? No, I guess I haven't. Kind of weird. I feel like I've been everywhere at this point.

Even if she was here, we wouldn't be able to help her. I know. We don't know how far from civilization we are. I know. What would she want us to do?

I know. Okay. Okay, which way was the first car driving? That way. Same direction as the other car.

I guess we follow the flow of traffic.

Hopefully we get a town before nightfall. You don't want to do this at all. No, we should. We should. Dad, you should probably hide your gun.

It's not great for a hitchhiking. Okay. Let's go.

“So, what do you think our new life in the desert is going to be like?”

I don't know. It's got to be something resembling a DMV around here somewhere, right? You're going to go from your time traveling adventures right back into the DMV. I have a very limited set of skills. David.

How about you? Textiles. Oh, textiles. Yeah. I'll get a boat and sell rugs to every port city in the Mediterranean.

Rugs are important. How else are people going to tie the room together? There's literally no other way. What is it? Do you hear that?

Well, there goes that dream. I guess I should expect this by now. Hey, are you open? I'm sorry. We're not.

Can you come back in 12 hours? We literally can't. Get in here. Hey, Gloria. You guys had me pretty worried.

We're okay. Where's X? I don't know. We can't find her. When that thing hit us, everything got very strange.

By the time either of us could see straight, she was nowhere to be found. All right.

“Well, let's get inside and start hoping for the best, okay?”

Okay. Thanks for saving all of our lives and stuff. Sure. Well, well, returned to the conquered heroes. Hey, Zabilam.

Can we find them? Sure enough. We were brought right to them, dear. Well, look at you, weary traveler. Hey, Effie.

I see you're missing a member of your party. Yeah. All right. Well, you know what they say about Hope Casper. It springs eternal.

Hey. Hey. Hug me? Okay.

I was really freaking out.

We're okay. Where's your friend? We don't know. Oh, God.

“Michael Wayne's there's a very tall person hovering over the radio.”

Yes. That is Mr. Vu. Turns out our presence has Mr. Vu. Quite confounded. Mr. Vu?

Say hello. Forgive me. I am Voon. Hey, Voon. We are deeply indebted to you for saving us.

Don't mention it. Sweet Jesus. Is that an espresso machine? It is. Civilization.

It's here. Let me make you something. Please. Bring me anything that makes me look good. Okay.

Hey. I'm Phil. Hey, Phil.

Thanks for picking us out.

Thanks for saving our asses. Casper. You are looking road hard and put away wet. Why don't you go and put your feet up? Yeah.

Casper. Sometimes all there is to do is hope and put one's feet up. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

What's going on there?

“They were three and they came back to us, too.”

Oh, shit. Voon. Any idea where we are? What moment? A floating ball in a espresso machine.

This place is so modern now. Fiona. Did you add an HR department? Oh, God. Can you imagine?

Oh. I know I'm being fired. This place is getting nice. I almost feel like I can hang out here and now. What are you drinking?

It's a mocha chino. A mocha chino. It's very small. It is. Have you got any room for coffee in there?

I have room for coffee, but no room for your disdain. There's no disdain. I support your tiny coffee. Casper. I have a special skill where I can match someone to the perfect espresso drink based on

vibes alone. I'm sorry, Fiona. I actually lost my vibes in a car accident one time. No, seriously. Watch.

Okay. Um... Damn. All I'm getting from you is black coffee. See?

Hey Casper. I talked to Casper before we showed up here. And she says that after you guys saved us, they powered down the weapon. They think that whatever happened is their fault. It bought us some time.

Good. Time is good. Casper's going to use that time to make a move on crock. Her ships are headed there as we speak. Okay.

I guess we're going to be less help than I thought now. Yeah. Quick question. What? What?

What? Okay. So. Funny story. What the fuck is that?

“Gloria, what the fuck is the murder beast doing here?”

He didn't really have a choice. Are you did Gloria? Let's see. If this were a video game, that's a thing I should be shooting. It's not a video game.

What? The fuck is that thing? What is it doing here? We had to bring it with us. How many animals are you going to bring aboard the diner?

Is a flood coming? It's human. No. It's not. I'm afraid, but Gloria says it's the truth.

It has departed severely from developmental norms, but the creature's base DNA and organics saw that of a human. We went back to its planet.

Turns out when we first touched down there,

we were in Cretesia. That thing was created by Crook. That thing. Yes. It's just another one of Crook's experiments.

Yes. I realize he's a psychotic space god and everything, but why does he have to make it weird? I know. It's terrifying.

But honestly, it's kind of a sweetie. Well, let's put a bow on it. We were surprised as well, Casper. But it appears. Our betufid friend is just another of the many maligned folks in the neighborhood.

Our hearts have gone out to it, Casper. He's not like a big old dog who's had a terrible owner for years. He sleeps under a corner booth most of the time. Only comes out when he's hungry. So he pulled chicken in the oven, and whenever he comes out,

well, here you go, big man. Bones and all, huh? Wait. I thought it could only eat its own kind. It changed.

Apparently, after I gave it that cup of coffee, something happened. We decided it was in danger on its own planet. So now it lives under a booth. Okay. Well, I hope we don't run out of chickens.

It's safe for now. But we need to find it a permanent home. It's not safe here, Gloria. This isn't a safe place. There were three of us in that queue.

Emreports, we are currently in the northern desert of the African continent in the nation of Algeria. Information-aged societies. Oh, we've been here before. I thought it looked familiar. Casper, let me make you something.

I'm okay. I'm going to go up to the roof. Have a look around. Maybe I can see something from there. Okay.

Sure. How's he doing? Gloria, this is going to shock you to hear, but sometimes people say they're okay when in fact. They aren't. What?

It's true. You're kidding. Can you believe it? So he's been missed or holding it all together right now. Huh?

Yeah, he's... I don't know. He's pretty shook up. You know, they went on this whole Odyssey together, the two of them. Chris crossed the triad, trying to track us down when he got separated from the diner.

When he got back, he was... He was different somehow. He was a little bit lighter. She brought something out in him.

Excuse me for a second, guys.

Hey, muck away.

“Can I ask you what in all heck happened while we were away?”

It looks like this house has been turned upside down. Well, there was one time when an Air Force pilot being chased by aliens was coming through the speakers. It does look like an airplane's been flown right through the library. Found a trivet, dear. It was filed among the symphonic works.

What do you need Fiona? We're a little worried about Casper. Would you guys mind if I brought you up to the roof? Hmm. That's not a bad inclination Fiona, but perhaps the wrong tool for the job.

Yes. Sometimes a friend's voice can be like an old hat. Necessary, yet you hardly notice it anymore. Pardon me, there Philip. What's up?

I know we've just met, but you strike me as a man that is easy to speak with. Thank you. At times, a man needs new voices in his head to shake up the mess. Could we trouble you to head upwards and check in on our friend? There's no problem.

Now, Philip. Do not let him get ordinary with you.

“He is sometimes resistant to a pleasant conversation.”

I know the type. I'll be up top. Thanks. Phil. Mr. Voon.

How goes your investigation? I am confounded. Well, how do you like that?

I'm a scanner receiver and always possible and I have detected no complex technology.

We remain a mystery, dear. Deep staying is interesting. Curiosity for help? To clarify, you are currently speaking to me from what you perceive to be your home. Well, I certainly hope it is.

Otherwise, I'm doing housework for somebody else. And you understand your home to be within this receiver. It's what we're speaking out of. But I can't imagine how we'd fit a whole house inside of it, Mr. Voon. Would be an easier house to clean, though.

I'm unsure how to perceive. Don't let that dissuade you, Mr. Voon.

“I'm sure you'll find a way forward somehow.”

Let's read, Mr. Voon, a little something dear. I just found old Hildegard's book under the dresser. Haven't seen that one in an age. Now, let's find a good one. Here we are.

Glance at the sun. See the moon in the stars, gaze at the beauty of the earth's screenings. Now, think. How's that help you? That does not help me at all.

Coming up. That's way better than the rusty ladder we used to use. See in anything? No. Sun's going down soon.

Won't be much to see after that. I'm not really looking for anything. Try and not to be that guy. What do you mean? People are happy to see each other down there.

You're trying not to ruin it for them. I don't know. You know, before I was in this chair, I was a test pilot for the air force. Oh, yeah?

Anything cool? The area was pretty cool. Is that the one that did the vertical take off? Yeah. It was cool, but turns out I like taking off.

And when you do it vertically, you feel more like a helicopter. And I fucking hate helicopters.

Yeah, helicopters have never seemed like a good idea to me.

It's against God's plan. Right. And then before all that, I flew A4s in the South China Sea. When did they pick you up?

1981.

“Oh, so if you want to talk about losing people,”

I can do that all night. I'm a little different from the people downstairs. How so? Let me guess you found this place

and thought it sounded like an amazing adventure.

Something like that? Yeah. I walked in to use the phone. And it just grabbed me. I didn't choose any of this.

Hmm. How's that make you different? I don't know. You didn't sign up for it. Yeah.

So when you lose somebody, it's just another thing happening to you. I guess so. I imagine this whole time. Other people have felt like they're doing something.

And you've been feeling like something's just happening to you. For sure. That's fucked up, man. Right? It is.

But it's real fucked up.

“Did they send you up here to turn me around or something?”

They may have, but that's not what I'm trying to do.

I came up here to say your situation's real fucked up. Like you got abducted and have been trying to make a life out of it. That's literally it. And that's fucked up. Thank you.

I will say this though. I was in a coma for nine months after my accident. Jesus, when I came to my copilot was sitting right there. He said to me that he'd been right at my side the whole time. He'd wake up in the morning, heads to the hospital,

and sit there waiting for me to wake up. I said to him, what'd you do that for? You should be flying. What do you think she'd want you to be doing right now? We've got company.

This will be cool. What, a Fiona? Yeah. Twarigs. Looks like it.

Awesome. No magic types. They live in this part of the world. They set up camp and play music all night. It's going to be a nice night, man.

Come on down. So there are these little bands of people, and they roam all over the desert. It's really cool. Don't come here. Do they want to come in?

They camp outside on night. Do I need to wear the head covering? Yeah, sit down. I still got that scarf under the counter. The men wear this combo head scarf face covering thing.

It's called a tegel must. If I put this on spoon, he doesn't have to hide. As long as they don't look too close, he just looks like a really tall guy. What can I do? They pretty much take care of themselves.

I'm going to bring them a picture of water beer at back. Okay. How a young Fiona appears to have made herself quite a home here.

“It'll strike you as a bit skittish, but she's got some brass rivets on her doesn't she?”

Hey Gloria, do you guys ever cook outside? We have, but it's been a while. I was just thinking, some kind of activity might be a good idea. I think that's a great idea. What's going on?

We're going to cook outside tonight. Cook outside? Yeah. There's a whole kitchen right there. I know, but it's inside.

It's going to be a nice night. Maybe we could use the fresh air. I don't know what about bugs. We're cooking outside is what we're doing. Okay.

Phil, is that okay with you? Yes, alright with us. Fiona's got 36 different kinds of grilled cheese sandwiches at this point. We've had them all. We're in the desert.

What are we going to burn for the fire? I believe I have a solution for that problem. I know. I have one. I'm going to need a break from all the mess over here. I as well. My next step is beating out this rug of ours.

And I'm not looking forward to it. I think that's great. A break really sounds nice. It's not a break. We're not on a break.

This isn't a vacation for fuck's sake. I'm sorry. Do whatever you need to do. Okay. Are you a fan of robots sci-fi, time-traveling podcasts?

Then you'll love six minutes. But don't take my word for it. We've got over 15,000 reviews on Apple Podcasts alone.

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It's great. Find out what all the buzz is about. Look for six minutes on Apple Podcasts and for more information on gzmshills.com. Today, I met the love of my life. Her name is Juniper Sima.

She just, she's kind of off to me. Why would you think that? Tell me. Is her eyes? They're just so dark. I feel like she's going to eat me or something.

I get bad a lot. Hell, really, I feel like the moment they released her. And she is everything. Something's a miss at Juniper's house. Available everywhere this Valentine's Day.

Some people, in order to discover the divine, read books. But there is a greater book. The great world spun all around you. Look above you. Look below you.

It is the greatest story. What you seek in books. Lay within pages, not written with ink. A story written with the world itself. Who can ask for a finer work than that?

What are you reading from, everyone? Well, Fiona, I thought I'd take advantage of the... Great reorganization here at the house. To dip into some work, I've not seen in a cow's age. Saint Augustine of Hippo.

Born right here in this part of the world, Long ago, when Rome spanned from ocean to ocean. I've been doing the same, but mine's from a man by the name of Caldo.

“The purpose of this life is not simply worldly delights.”

This entire world is trifling and futile and can strive towards death and annihilation. The purpose of this life is our soul's nourishment, leading to happiness and the great beyond. I took a liberty or two there. I celebrate your interpretation to you.

The first author, he wishes to portray the world as a message,

a message from a deity onto its disciple. He does, Mr. Hohm. But the message is not explicit. Thank you very much for saying so, Mr. Foon. It is not.

Our Lord chooses to obscure the message, which I have remarked time and again, is a poorly way to deliver a message. Theology then for you is a struggle between interpretation. Indeed, Mr. Foon. Lots of folks out there saying they found it.

And a whole lot of other folks saying they haven't. And how does that come to its ultimate resolution? That, Mr. Foon, is the Theologians' journey. All of us trying to clear away the haze over the message to us all. And this message that your deity delivers to you through the creation of the world,

what do you believe this message to be? A simple one, Mr. Foon. You are loved. And how is it with you, Mr. Foon? How do y'all discern the great mysteries in your name?

At the words. The arts do not have a higher deity that we commune with.

“Rather our spiritual life is developed within community.”

And our oldest language, the word "earth" means "lost" or rather "lost" once. We speak of a time Aions ago when we wandered and dwelt in confusion. It was only any other we were able to find meaning and purpose. Oh, that certainly speaks to your comportment, Mr. Foon.

You may be the most polite creature we've ever happened upon. Thank you. I have enjoyed your politeness as well. And how seamlessly it is infused with the certain frankness. One might find those two things at odds.

That's just called being from Arkansas. Anyway, it was really rough for a while. Luckily, Phil and Voon got me through it. But damn, I was fucked up for a while. It was something we were married or something.

It was just a couple of years. Yeah, but a couple of years equals 10 years in a lesbian relationship. Right? At two years, you guys have got a mortgage. You've got a booth at the farmers market.

Five rescue dogs. At least.

The first one's always the toughest.

Next time you'll be worldly and wisdom. Next time. How do I pull that off? I've kind of a demanding work schedule. You'll figure it out.

What about you? I mean, I know you've been at war and everything. But at least you've been staying in the same place.

Of course you are.

“You know how they say there's no atheists and foxholes?”

Yeah.

Now straight people either.

Wow. I'm kind of excited to go to war now. Right? Hey, Fiona. Yeah.

Casper's just hanging out up on the road. Why don't you go talk to him? Me? Yeah. Trust me.

Should I? I've been talking to him and it hasn't helped. Might as well give it a shot. I don't really know him that well. Fiona.

Trust me. Okay. Okay. I'll go talk to him.

If you talked to him, he would just try and hold it together.

You know? I get it. All right. Foods almost ready. I'm not sure how much I'll talk on the roof helped.

So I sent in Fiona. You'll see if she does any better. He's a tough nut to crack, but he's not uncrackable. All in a day's work. So who'll fill?

You had one look at boon and thought this is the place for me. Huh? I mean, it took a little more investigation than that, but not much. You were ready to jump? I had gotten a job offer.

What did that have to do with anything? I got an offer to join the sales team at Sears selling washing machines. Well, that sounds exactly how it sounds. Another pilot, friend of mine, Mark Scott. He left after two tours, an honorable discharge.

He went off to sell Chevy's and for a lot of Dale. Happy as a clam. Nothing wrong with selling washing machines. People need washing machines. There are some things that caught you off from the world.

Know what I mean? Yeah. I'm rolling down the street. Watching people go to and from work and I'm just like... Where is everybody going?

Where are they going, Gloria? I don't know. So, I was just kind of wandering around. I decided to hit up a VA. But you stopped by a diner first. I did.

Any regrets? No. You? Not really. Oh, I've got a great Scottish boyfriend out there.

Somewhere. But still. I like it out here. Hey. Hey, Fiona.

Food will be ready soon. Okay. What are you looking at? I really don't need people to keep checking up on me.

Well, I don't need a second cup of coffee in the morning, but guess what always happens.

What are you looking at?

“There's a storm, but I think it's moving past us.”

It can be kind of dangerous in the desert. Wow, that lightning is crazy. Yeah. Wow. What the fuck was that?

Damn. It was red. It's a... Ah, shit. I can't remember the name.

It's like lightning, but in the upper-appness sphere, so it looks red. That was crazy. It's really rare. I haven't seen one of those since I was a kid. It looked like aliens were attacking, but only for half a second.

It's weird, right? And that's really rare? Really rare. You might not... You might not see one ever again.

You saw one when you were a kid? Yeah, I was... What? You've seen close encounters, right? Nope.

What are you doing with your life? You haven't seen close encounters? Uh, running from actual aliens? Okay. Well, there's this scene where a little kid gets abducted by aliens. It's right out of his house.

So, if you're a little kid, and you see that scene, you're like... Fuck me, I'm gonna get sucked up into the sky at any moment. And then one day, you see red lightning shooting out of a stormfront.

“I slept under the bed, if you want to under it.”

Oh no. For a week. Oh God, for a week?

and tracked down a meteorologist.

And it was like, tell him he didn't see aliens. So, the very confused meteorologist explained to me what it was and that I was actually very lucky because of how rare it was. And I was like, fuck you, weather guy. I don't feel lucky.

“So, as a child, you had an intense fear of being abducted?”

Yeah. And then... I know. Poetic, right? You had two moms?

Yeah, I did. That makes sense. I get that a lot. You know, you guys literally kidnapped me. What?

I'm standing there. I'm working in a coffee shop. And then I suddenly wake up in your walk-in. Then I escape your walk-in to find I'm on another planet. Yeah.

I imagine that was pretty rough. And then an alien ship landed and three aliens got out. And one of them performed brain surgery on me in your parking lot. You know, when you put it all together in one sentence like that... There were times when I felt a little different from Phil and Voon,

because they were able to stand there and say, "Yes, traveling diner, I choose this." So, I'll just be happening to me.

“So, maybe you don't feel so alone around me, okay?”

Okay. Sorry, we kidnapped you. It's okay. My wife was in danger. Mine was too.

Hey, do we have a customer? What? She backpacking through the desert at night? Maybe it's cooler? Oh, thank God.

Hey, are they open? What? Are they open? Yeah. Amazing.

What the fuck? Was that? I don't know. Why does she look human now? I don't know.

I'm sorry. Could you repeat that? I've been walking for a long time, and I really would love an actual restroom with plumbing and everything. I promise I'll buy something.

But could I use your restroom first?

Sure. Yes. Casper? Or not seeing things, right? That was the darkest thing.

That was her. But appeared to be made of flesh and blood. What the hell's happening? The only technology detected is a cellular telephonic device and a receiver for global positioning data.

What the hell is going on? I don't know. She didn't recognize any of us. Something's going on.

“Something's definitely going on, but what the hell is going on?”

All right, y'all. Something is a foot in this here parking lot. So, let's get ourselves a plane. I'll offer this. Back when FBI ran a church.

From time to time, we'd have a wayward soul passing through. A complete stranger to us all. FBI found the best approach to a wandering soul is to not make a fuss and stare. We've got ourselves a nice gathering here.

We'll invite the mystery in and then set ourselves to the task of solving it. First off, we'll need someone who's finally adept at mind and someone else's business. David?

Oh, I will get all up in her business. You are duly elected. Y'all make it like it's a party. And David will get to know's in a round.

I never, never, never, never.

Here she comes y'all. As you are. So then I said to him, my friend, the rhino says, be nice. [laughing]

Phil, I love that story that you always tell. Hey, there. Hi. I'm David. Come have a seat.

Are you hungry? I am actually desperate for anything that's not a cliffbar. You've come to the right place. Judging by my surroundings, I've come to the only place. Which makes it the right one.

What's your name? I'm Rie. Love your name. This is Gloria, Phil Fiona. The tall guy is Voon.

Greetings. And that's Casper. Hi.

This is a wild location for a diner.

“People look at us a little weird, but they're always grateful.”

They found us. Where you headed? China. China. Yes.

I've gotten that looked a lot. Last, I checked. We're in Algeria. We are. Voon.

How far is Algeria from China? Roughly 11,000 kilometers. 11,000 kilometers. That's as the crow flies? The crow.

Yes. That's as the crow flies, Rie. I know.

You're not a crow, so that's going to be even farther.

It's going to be quite a trip. I started in Tangier. I'm going over to Egypt up into Iraq through a bunch of countries ending in Stan. Then down through India, Sri Lanka, then over to China. Oh my god.

On foot? Well, I'm sure I'll have to grab a boat or a train from time to time. But yeah. On foot. Well, that sounds fucking insane, Rie.

I know. It does. I mean, it really does. What possesses someone to do that? I don't know.

Bad breakup?

“Did you read that book wild and then buy some hiking boots?”

No. Nothing like that. Did you ever feel like you were spread out to thin? Like you needed to gather yourself back up again? Yeah, sure.

You know what I do when I feel that way? Go to the beach for a day? Yeah. It's a little crazy. But I've traveled around my whole life anyway.

I'm going to use to it. Where are you from? Tyler, Texas. Really? You don't have an accent?

Well, yeah. That's the funny thing about Texas. Some people can help it and then for other people it's like kind of a choice. George W. Bush was the only guy in that family with the Texas accent. You know what I mean?

Got it. So, who works here and who's a customer? We all work here. It's a slow night. It's lucky you came along.

We would've gone out of business. Casper. What?

“You're putting too much salt in the soup base there, Casper?”

I'm what? Don't take offense. But we're all playing a fine game of cards here and you're showing your hand up here. Can you two say something plainly for one's please?

We always speak as plainly as we can, Casper.

You think I'm speaking exactly? My friend. You've got a look of concern on your face. That runs a bit contrary to the moment. A look of concern is because I'm concerned.

You're running the risk of scaring off the grounds before we can get our sights set on it. How do you want me to do Casper? If you and myself are no good out here either. Perhaps we should exercise ourselves from the situation. Let others do the good work.

The others are perfectly capable of assessing out the situation Casper. Let's adjourn to the dining room and let the chips fall where they may. Some things can't be done by a portion of Casper. Fine. Hey, guys, I'm going to go inside and see if I can fix the radio.

Okay. Fix the radio. Right. Fix the radio. Okay, Casper.

There. Happy? It's for the best Casper. Let's let the audience of the situation breathe for a bit. Okay.

I'm sorry. You've nothing to apologize for. If there's anyone I shouldn't be worried about, it's her. I guess, but it just hit harder than I expected. I didn't mean to screw anything up.

Casper. We are not going to sit here and let you be yourself up. As you know, that's a good piece job. Don't take my work away from me, Casper. I am too good at it.

Okay, sure. It was just her and me for a while. Back when I got separated from the diner. We were wandering around looking for you guys. And the entire time she kept asking me questions about how to be human.

And how things worked. And why things were important. I would open my mouth and things would just come out.

Turns out I had feelings about things I'd thought about things.

I had things to say and I didn't know it. I guess nobody ever asked. Again, that's not unlike our congregation back home. You sit a man down, you ask him how he feels. Sometimes a whole world emerges when you ask that.

All those thoughts they've kept to themselves come flooding out like a river in a rainstorm. There was a lot I didn't know about myself until she came along. I don't know. But thought of her not being around. Casper, you're slow to make friends.

Always happen. In fact, you only seem to make them when they're forced on you. Because of that, it just scares the veggies aside of you to imagine them being gone.

It took a miracle to get them in your heart to begin with.

“But speaking of miracles, let's make room for one presently, shall we?”

There she stands, in some form, right outside. Let's let the good work commence. Cut down with that Peter doing the mopping? These children are too soft. So what a weird job you have.

You have no idea. How do you end up out here? I went through a bad breakup. And you know, just had to get out of my life. So I wound up here.

That's so crazy. Me too. Really? Yeah. It was bad.

I'm so kind of messed up over it.

Her name was Catherine. We met a manchester. We were together for two years, but then she just kind of freaked out. You know, after two years, just walked out the door. Catherine, but she used to say stuff like, "You've lost them in the wintertime, like a chameleon."

“I mean, how do you say that about someone and then just leave?”

Yeah. Hey, I saw there was a shower in the bathroom. Do you think they'd mind if I used it? It's been a minute since I've had running water. No, sure.

Go ahead. Cool. I'll be back in a bit. Fix it yet? What's that? The radio.

Did you fix it yet? No, not yet. He should just get a new one. It's one of a kind. Okay.

Hmm. Casper's a name you don't hear a lot. My name. Your name is Rii. I know.

I had weird parents. It's short for Rila. Rila? Yeah. It's even spelled weird too.

R-I-H-L-A. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Anyway, I'm going to use your shower. Okay. God dammit.

Hey. Hey. So there's definitely something we're going on and we need to get to the bottom of it. And I guess we should move fast.

We're not going to be in the Sahara forever. We're not in the Sahara. What? Hey. Where is everybody?

They're across the street. They wanted to say hi to the neighbors. Okay. Are they open all night?

“Would it be weird if I stayed here until the morning?”

How long are we going to do this for X? What? Phyllis from Tyler, Texas. He has a theory that the Texas accent is actually optional and cites the fact that George W. Bush

Well, that's... that's what I say.

“Before you arrived, I saw a red lightning from the upper atmosphere.”

His storm was passing us. It was a crystal clear memory from when it was a kid. Some of them have been here before. A fond memory of being in the Sahara Desert with twilight music playing across the street. I don't know what's happening.

Mona went through a really bad breakup with a girl named Katherine that she met in Manchester. Katherine said she blossomed in the winter or time like a chameleon. And I can talk to you all day about a guy named Even Batuta

who traveled on foot from Tangier to Egypt up into Iraq and over to China. It took him 30 years.

When he finally returned home,

he dictated all of his travels to a scholar. The book of his travels is called the Rela. R-I-H-L-A. I'm not waiting 30 years for you. What's happening?

More in your head, X. You created a little world made of bits and pieces of our memories. You were coming apart and you reached out and put all of us in your head. You needed an anchor, you needed real things so that you didn't forget who you were.

I know who you are. Look inside my head. You'll find yourself there. Casper. Hey.

There I am. Are you okay? That was rough. What happened?

“I thought there was a chance that the beam would destroy the cube.”

So I tried to stop it myself. If it took me out, you guys might still have a chance of surviving. How did you stop it? I figured I couldn't stop it by myself. So for about three milliseconds,

there were one hundred of me. One hundred? Yeah. How did you do that? I don't know.

But I shouldn't do it again. It made me forget who I was and stranded is in this cellar dessert in my head. Yeah, don't do that again. I won't. X.

Seriously. Never do that again. I won't Casper. Okay.

I'm glad you can read my mind so I never have to tell you how much you mean to me.

No. Do you want to do it anyway? Absolutely not. Can you get rid of all this desert shit, please? Sure.

X. There she is. Hey guys. That was crazy. We were a little worried about you there, Norma.

I'm okay. It was a lovely desert. Thank you. Casper was pretty worried. You all were.

I was in your head's remember. There's the cube. As it's still were. It still works. It never got hit.

It was all X. X. Are you okay? It sucked.

“I think I'll just let him get killed next time.”

Good idea. So wait.

How long have we actually been here?

You've been here for a while actually. You're probably going to jump soon. Shit. Okay. Everybody listen.

We're going to jump soon. And I'm assuming when we do the diner is going to take us where the action is. I really don't know what to expect. I was at different from any other day. Are you ready to get back in the cube?

I am ready. Let's do this. Okay. We'll go in the boom cube. I guess we'll see you guys on the battlefield or something.

That'd be kind of hilarious if we went to Wyoming. Wyoming sounds nice. Let's go. I'm mad. Okay.

Good luck, guys. Wait. Everyone. Before you go. Sebulon.

A prayer. Ah. Excuse me. A prayer. Fine.

Lord. We go to battle. And for that, we ask your forgiveness. For intro, every battle is a failure. For we fail to see each other as you see us.

So grant us your forgiveness, O Lord.

“And as with every battle, please let it be the last one.”

May conflict and strife become a distant memory that our children never know.

And ready, break. Okay. Let's go kick some ass. Good luck. Casper.

Hang back a second. Okay. I'm right behind you. What's up? Hi.

Hi. I really wanted to cook outside tonight. Yes. Sorry about that. We were trapped in X's brain.

And now we're going into battle apparently. Which is pretty ridiculous? I agree. What are we doing? I have no idea.

Or I really need the multiverse to chill the fuck out. A great. If I have to deal with one more fucking space god. They ruin everything. The space god.

I'm a woman who makes tacos. And I'm a man who makes nothing. And I would just like to cook outside.

I say, with this is over, you never go inside again.

Great. Great. I just needed to say that out loud. It's well heard. I'm glad you're okay.

I'm glad you're okay. Okay. Get out of here. Well, you three. I bet your lives were a lot simpler before we showed up at the door.

I really am sorry about that. Don't worry about us, Gloria. Okay. Well. What now?

Shit. Looks like our nice day just got ruined. Now these assholes are relentless. Get inside. Maybe we'll jump away in time.

Wait. Voon. Are you ready? I am Gloria. A field test of the protocol would be beneficial.

Okay. What do you need? A field and Peter should stay with me. The rest should stay inside the diner. Okay.

Peter. What am I doing, Voon?

“I believe they are just over that ridge.”

We must slur them closer. Okay. Peter. And taginize. And taginize.

Are you afraid, Fiona? Yes. You? I am. But it is irrelevant.

Yeah. Yeah, it is. Good job, Peter. The boy tactical down. Your weapons are useless against us.

Proceed then. What did you do? Peter. Disarm. Disarm.

Peter. Disarm. Disarm. Disarm. It is your weapons that are useless.

[Music] Thanks for listening to Midnight Burger y'all. Be sure and tune in this time next month for more adventures in the vastness. And if time and tide roll you too harshly, or diurnal courses leave you with no safe havens,

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Bird Bird. The Birds Bird. Papa Goose. Sometimes I do feel like a plastic bag. Amanda Bills.

Misty word power. Casper's Danish Moose. Flacco. A.K.A.J.A.R. The Disco Spider.

Leaf Tracks. The Rise of Leaf. Chapter 2. The Ted Slayer Unchained. Vicky A.Bair.

Pike Daniels. The Cosmic Whale. Zanzatsu. Mr. and Mrs. Van Limberlost. Murdock Weng.

Caterpillar Farmer. Kaimera. Don Moat. The Space Trucker Chadwick Codan Doyle III. Jodi Green.

Monster Senshi. Michael Peters. Political Knitter. Seasonal Sasquatch. Sientley Seeks.

Sequit Society. So special souls. Softly sing sweet songs. Smartly stirring strong stories. Physicist.

Brendan Shonman.

“I divided by zero and now I'm undefined.”

Leaf The Horses Here. Mag Trimmer. Rod Stewart the Sailor Slayer. James We Met. The Listless Enjoyer.

Miss Maxine. Boy Got Them Hunkahunkers. Kevin O'Malley. Invisible Gerea. V. Mrs. Poland.

Zomediac. Hop loves a thug bot named Francis. Pam the Infinite. And thou. Curiosity is eating your bones.

Revolutionary and Clined Osilot.

Matt Houtler. Andrew Bear. Maria Stasioa. Butterfly Fox. Riot the Tranny.

The fish did not acknowledge her. Irma the Lama. 27 Keep It Tight. Chip Gloria's Right Hand. Jack in the Box Man.

G.O.D. Grim Knight. Pike Daniels the Whale. And Thossily's Bethany Maximus. Lord of Kingwood, Texas.

Ragnar Jensen. Addison Weirdo Wagner. From N0305. Smoke me a kipper. I'll be back for Night Breakfast.

Titus Cosslaw. Ashes of a burnt out lathe. I'm a kung fu panda on the wind. Brandon AR equals Thor. I love you all.

Never forget that. Every in trials and loses voice brightens my day.

Electromancer. Check off Space Cannon. Corey Senses. Surf and turf telecoms. I'm a gin.

Red and dusty with his garden goddess. Shelby Morrison. Mystic Monster for Chaos. Ziggy dreadful. Rave Hans Malley.

G-Wing. Frank One. It is sparks. Lost Girl Lou. Chris B.

Middle American Penguin. Shanna Welch. Crochet Cosmos. Andy the Celestial Penguin. Jackie Orion.

Bow Nunley. Ariana Castillo.

“The tall deer that portends great change.”

Lita Medinger. Marco. Friend. As in. Your best.

Lime Ghost. Am. Iki Blair. J. The Erasable. The Magic Committee.

Committee of Anything. Magical. Ian Full. 345. Uneducated. Swine. Learning to swing dance.

Nova the fuck accountant is definitely not a tangle. One intergalactic year with Big Potato. 99 aka the Rat Lady aka Bumblebee. aka AK-47. Kai.

Just a little guy. And a right. Mark Nazzle-Warritz. Xenia. The Capturer of Light.

Theoretical chemist. Chris loves to read. Katie Machalic. Greg Andrews Lyons. In memory of Jason Reece.

Get your butt fingered. That girl Gracie. Magnus Von Cavanheim. Saucy Lil Beast. Drew Bert.

Captain of the SS beefy tits. Long time lurker. Scooter. The Unlucky Sun. Jennifer Myers.

Lady Lazarus. Donny Darko. Tim Shin.

Caitlyn and CT's never ending podcast adventures.

Whisper Dan. Kiyo the Panda Puppy forklift operator. Ruby Cherries. Nick Fay. But Holon.

Justin and Amy Triplet. Jen Sims. Penelope. Ring to the Motas. The Leathermans.

Odd commodity. Jen before. Andrew Ho. Lee a prime. Gregory Santoro.

Moffmal. Not the fucking fried chicken. Robert Drupisa.

“Dimension spanning time traveling little guy.”

E-O-No. Jonathan Tolbert. Mr. Put it on 06. Hedgehog Han. Jackson Bell.

Katie Chambers. Jay the podcast lover. Dick Rickles. Chapter President. Damn glad to meet you.

Malcolm Flynn. Samuel Lee. Joseph Tron Prime. Oh my God. I forgot to change my name from Nicholas Beckler to something more cheeky and fun.

Are when the freer. Throat goat. Six six six six. I am your father. Atty Slawson.

In conceivable. Redram 9/16. Nick Wakeaster. Gotham still fucked up. Batman really ain't doing shit when you think about it. No good monk. Rye.

Yes. Like the bread. Sarman Sayed. Journal de Grimbus. Matt Knight Bushager.

Gavin Mori. Damn E-Tree. And Drameda. Stephen the Choi. Gloria's authentic earth coffee.

Gabriel T. Can someone find me the Parmesan. I did this for fun. Cookie Meboo. Axel Zapata.

Jason McDonald. Orianda. Ryan Montgomery. Artemis record. Safa Alousey.

Trif Bracks. Gunner Tweedle.

“The barred without a ballad or a mallet.”

Nazo. Platform jail mechanism. Burn museum theorist. Hold please. Hey Kayow.

Impress squishy face of greater catopia. And Agarcia. Goblin King. Raise of noop. He's best friend.

Would like to go to breakfast. Yegor Loose. Terry Cads. Says hello Ernesto. Leaf tracks the rise of life.

Chapter one. Love tracks for tires. The dishonorable. Protocol I love. Skulliver.

Sam and Shane. A soka likes hugs. Going anonymous. V. Maddooks.

Ooh. Chickety. Dango Dale. SD. Not the website.

At every moment in every corner of every possible world.

There is always a way home.

And it's already found you. Jow palola moose. Oddkeep. The sentient lighthouse. The faceless old Bethany who secretly lives in your home.

Deshane. Tonya Fisher. Appalachian death queen. Zosafer. Doggo of doom.

Burnt Barbecue beef brisket. It's official. They're called The Grownies. Kevin Winons. Marlin C.

Just Wellmed. Maddempathy. Cherish Hellfire's hellish chair fire. Like and lady. Midnight Club.

A Cameron Agnesi West. Knox. Lisa Lou. Emmett Hale. The Triads.

Batis Goblin. Emrian Lano. James Miles. Brown Coats. Love the diner.

House chaos. Max. Nia. Ivan and Mark will see you at six. Open.

Open. No wait. Never mind. Just Mark. We make the world.

Minion Simone. Mimi Davis. Guy at Turtle. Wayne Barahona. We will not rest until Puerto Rico and Palestine are free.

Pluto. Crow. Nissy's mom. Poke. Sport.

Whiskey. Rebellion. And Jen Riot. Interdimensional detective agency. Trion Shibu.

And Griff. Slim Nandy. Jen and Britt. Ballion Fair has retired and now raises herds of mungos. Hood's pocket protector.

The artist formerly known as unpaid intern would like to congratulate Heather on her divorce and is thinking of getting one herself. Valkyrie Storm.

Patricia who's always late but somehow on time.

DC Squirrel. Kyle V. Interstellar High Women. Shelly Act on the verge. Gale friend. Rubber cake.

Clover the clown. The sparky tack.

Ring leader Volt. Daz Punker.

Captain tight pants in the companion.

Renee Ann. Katarina Dalaplaya. RIP. Eloise Waffles. The flu-frangler.

Akita Space Druid. Phantom Land. TTRPG dies. Kate. Taplume.

Your local blacksmith. Jason. H.Vaktech for the diners deep freeze. S.K. Phoenix. Glitch the gamer air.

Zefer. The Weffer Montgomery Foxworth. Maryface. Luan Cherry. Peppermint Pearl.

4.4. Amara Salazar. Banjo Buskelow. Full Beans. Glorious forgotten Ford Fistiva.

Brandon Wright. Knight breakfast at the midnight Coltron. Force for good-ish. The ghost of Dave Brocky.

The Judah. Slater Morales. Intergalactic fry lord. Gravity's optional. But fries aren't.

CJ's Big Barbecue. Be Stroke for Bethany's. Angel Vasquez. Evil the cat. Stephen Raymer.

Jay Carp Fishman. The Great Goblinow. Low oxygen. Save the mungos. Joji the Birdwatcher.

“A flock of gray horses from the top of a sickamore.”

Lilac Morechella. Your tickle. Bitty. Yee. Milk.

Majesty. Temporal hash brown. Diane Brown. Captain. No sleep.

Jamie. The OG. Happy hippie. Rainy. Ruben.

The Shreafport. Bohannon. CC. The Umbrella. Bradbury.

Sasquatch. Loads. Checkoff's gun.

And rides to join Bethany's army.

Den. Cosmic catchup. Lack of lifestyle. Moosey. Goodspockett.

Garin Sprocket. Local repair cafe. Postmaster General. Clon sent me. Lake Bosmagen.

Nittwit. 14. Royaled way to harshly. DJ Johnny B. The Clopman.

Diamond. Marco Montano. No longer doing a bit. Shiny fields. Adam Tachak.

Christopher Wendell. Unproductive banana. Pulsefer. The Polist of Polism. Zombie Spider-Man.

The Gas Mask Penguin. In the hot seat. Mime Ninja's Ninja Mime. Master Uguey. Barry.

Dilly is Dallying. Viewtile screaming at the ocean. Fox Hatland. Dylan Karoni. Pedro.

Vibresto. Slider. Malachi. Maple Emily. The Gas Library.

Janitor.

Learn how to be calm and harsh.

Stumbly. I'll be waiting. Physic. The Good Bush. Definitely not one of the bad bushes.

“Funding rebel Bethany's to overthrow the Julie elected Bethany's.”

Hacks a decimal Bethany is non-binary. Vapis Tens Big Black Gaping Hole. Bruce. Jessica Gagoma. Toracle.

Jenny the Bear. A-Grrr. Serdeen Thorn. Treech. Josie Jones.

Mr. Fibble is very cross. Hote Potato. Dr. Mojo postulates the end list endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Bert Pertz Kabus. Until its end lists all the way down. Blind time traveler convention date.

LA Woman The Phoenix Rising. New Name. God. No, not him. Jeff Andrew.

The Newtles. Shmizi Tushu. Luna Nova. Nicholas Griffith. Justin Smallen.

Riku 31. Craig Dundee. New Type Without a Gundam. Astral Sea. Ickelme Pickleme Tickleme 2.

Which allowed the cartoonist. Guy with the chops. Sam. Mitchell Yee. Bagelknife.

Imelda and Scott. Courtney Cochran. Lily Starling. Ryan Kay. Nate.

Chip. Radio-free. Realia. Violin loves midi. Brian Passley.

Suwabasa. The Blue Cher Noble Dog. Enjoyer. Grena. Piston Whip.

Captain Ducky. Blitz Bell. Satsuma. Silis Guz. Dr. Jones.

Icy Axe. Coach Shane of Todesuk Central. Gocranes. Sky. Cole Arthur.

Lego Quasal. Kasad. Norwin Mergler. Joe Kappa. Dogma Mom.

Webichoppenbrok Ali. The hacker known as Ivy DeBurb. Blue Tune. A feisty S chickadee. Poetry Landmine.

The Scrappy Poet. Jenny the Cryptid Paladin. Maverick Artist. Shit. It was a mimic.

Weeding to gossip with David. Angnor. ATB. Kiwi Lovely Beed. Zoe.

Professor Freda. Michelle Spurgeon. Jack the Sleepy. Garrett Henderson's Wote. Still trapped.

But I've stopped asking why. The freezer is. I am. We chill. Son of Defarge.

Whisco Teach. Give Peas a chance. Samilema Dingdon. Buhold. Lady Sarah Per.

Whiskervale. Countess of Wood Hollow. Mistress of the Whistpering Pines.

“And beloved by all creatures small and opinionated.”

Ricardo Galamba. Carys Crafty Cloaking Devices LLC. #weaveemofgossamer. Penny the Wonder Dog. And Bucky Vaughn Buckbuck.

Medium rare extra toasted bun. Saussie Caesar. Belt. Aspen is a Verge fanboy. Ava's favorite my little pony pencil.

Once Joe to slap into a snim gym. Mr. and Mrs. Drifter. Representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger. Tummy Time Chapter. Nathaniel Lee Industries.

Lord entropy. Buckbock motherfucker. The fake wanderer. Everybody's favorite clown splotchy. kosher steak.

Flow right up. Alyssa's shiny pads. Gone door calls for aid. Arnold Rumspringer. The demise of the Temple of Bethany's.

Alan Bergland says. "I'm um. Rind the No. Kitty McSkall."

Half-less novelist passenger of the dimensionally impermanent.

And temporally incontinent. Bookshop Cafe. The Wild-eyed Profit. Tessa Craig. Perfectly personalized asaster.

Jim Turner. Heavy-dinnero Big chunk. Gadines. Boom Boom's wooden leg. Gilly Bean.

Benjamin. Not Franklin. Tracy Baby. Leia. A singular night bird.

Bethany and a green field. AEI-O-U-Y-N-W. Bumble-Fay. Mr. Epsalon. Long-haired Matt.

DJ. Robert W. Reels Above. Cresimera. Jessal Loren.

“Myth and Stitch embroidery loves the muckelwains.”

Lulu Louise. Dullio. The brew crew family.

Rose to benevolent Lord and Master of the Multiverse.

Jeffrey George. Ellie. Don't tear off me, bro. Oopsie. Evelyn.

Grimlord. Jenny Waboum. Aaron Popsiclestick. Im Horowitz. Isle of refuge.

Jack Spiders. Mom. Bubble butt. Bethany has banana breath. Lama Fresh.

Jerry the benevolent destroyer. Valtiel Heller. Sad Little Earth Monkey. Revan the Redbeard Wizard. Burke Burke and the funky bunch.

High viscosity. Gender fluid slime. One pound. Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen. Mr. Mootracho Kaiser Schnitzel.

Has successfully recruited Sarah Murphy's cats for the trouble puffs fight club. The wolves in the deep freeze say, "A-WOOOOOO." Sanctuary Moon's number two fans. Insane. Clone Posse.

Alice Lewis. Simply Amy Sue.

I pushed her because Joe said so.

Even older Liz. Mick Bearcat. Gragpin Feather. Cidic and Druidic scientist. Astro.

Your friendly neighborhood android. Moonlight Zombie Fox. Old Doc Racie. The midnight missionary. Out there somewhere.

Looking for ya.

“Rotten Ronnie sleeps in grandma panties.”

Artists Dragonborn. Big Big Garage. Bill Zanganelester. Big MF Juice. The SIP.

Muffins. Chad Hatter. Cosmic Teemaker of the Triads. Tell your cat. I said.

Ups. Ups. Ups. Banana Manaz. A corgi called Kibble.

Kudley Kraken. Sarge the Bard. Seminity. L.O. Coolment. Jams.

Travis Reberticus. Candadi. Leah Isati. Millie was taken. Dead to me.

86. Be camp. Shand Man Man Man. Karma Karma Camillion. Kenran says hello.

Zoey in her army of mice. Breyer Longlost. Daniel. Trixie Bell Dubois. Dr. Budiologist.

The Glutes Doctor. Thank you for besting to.

“Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian Request.”

Will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Sirley Jess. RIP Lance McLean. You would have loved Midnight Burger. Adam Toklove.

Dr. Bichcraft. Sassy Cat the Space vixen. Claire Rock. Jekka. Airostagod.

The size two fish you've been looking for. Yoga. Borja. Spiders are Kudley. The main immortal pinball sounds in the diner.

Chill. Neal. Sin City. Scuba Steve. Polywag.

Michaela White. Elena Pickle. Professor Thadius. Snookham's 8th. Mr. Grinn.

Glent Petrovski. This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath as brought to you by Rick Tyler. Elizabeth Hammond. Steam vision conductor of the interdimensional time-spanning hype train Dave Harold. Wise Cube.

Bromine. pronounced Brow. Mine. Main Hamdinga. Mother of Pearl.

Fiona now owns life's 18-inch Peter. Sealface. Rigor mortise. Megan's things. Things.

Megan makes. Coin Lane. Trebex reject. Profit of the God of the Muckelwains. Darth Ox.

Michelle Kaye. Erin Arnold. Boyo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo. Mama-mander B-Roz and Slump Master J. Elpaka-lips. Spokane, doesn't suck. Elliott Paints, Undedicira, V. Lord Rev. Ryan. Thomas's 10th 10th of Breast Hand Staffel Tipper's treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales. The lovely Laura Lovely, Keith Gamjee, Sam-Wise's Flamen Cousin.

Dariel, Jeremy the Ruler, Goachie, Charles Robert Darwin III, Esquire PhD. Jacob Mitchell's Zeek in the Box, Stevie Crow Hill. Olamilakan of the welcome wagon says "ecoble." The Adventures of Magpie and Brown Bear, Scrubs, Remi, the Panda crew, Melody Prime, Beard O the Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German short-hair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says "Woof!" Whiskered, any two hands for the double-high-five, Marissa the Ghost. Brotherford B. Chesterfield and his Dapper Companion Winchester, Chester Corgi, Stray Cat, Old Kelsey No Shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame.

We serve everyone eventually, Sasha. Beth and Alan Van Gillis, Langston North, Slyfox, A.K.A. Breyer Rabbit, the constantly lost geographer Timothy A. Otis. Chance wants you to know he cares. Wolf Stark, Elliott, Hobbs to Co, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yinn, movie the Golden Calf, Suda Satoshi, Giovanni Sileneis, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, K. Narcotics, Solomon Price, Daydream, but evil. But before 85, A.K.A. Shemobock the Christmas Whale, Stella Corvis, Hesus Garcia,

J.P. the IT guy, Candyman Fight, John Peters, you know, the farmer, Markling on the Holidayock,

Captain B and Lady G with their swabs, Marla Madame Lotus still especially loves Finley,

“Mr. Steamwave, my friend the rhino says, "Be nice!" "Hup challenge!"”

Dream founder, I'm your Huckleberry Elizabeth T, Taitai the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke, boombasticle Kimlicker, Huggamuffin, Bigfoot of Doom, D.L. Any Atkins, a bounty hunter called, the Crandyman, "Gerot, my cats say to tell you, meow, think fast chuckle nuts, flash banged, Benjamin Ortiz, Mr. Frog president, pop rock quicksand, Mr. Squizzle sizzle, whizzle, fizzle the horrendous apologizes for

conspiring in the Bethany War, invites for tea or being sent now. Abonoso, Mr. Rage, Adelore, Transpace dinosaur, Spooky Spader Storytime, William Kent, Andy, the McJimmy's from your local dimension, Ryan Abbey, Thomas Adams, Drink Spiller, Stephanie Booc, entropy eigen basis, Andrea Crowther, Martin Dears, Kevin Doughtry, Deflower, two Daddy Jazz Hands from Mouse Toots, Dan Gentry, I hope some of the good happens to you today.

“Yes, you, V. Greenley, Ron Hayden, Michelle Hopper, Jake the Cook, Josie Jones, Boots Goot and Dave,”

Anthony Lakey, Britt Little Fair, T.U. Luther, some days you're the Beetle, some days you're the Dung, Lauren Mayer Glenn Morris, Richard Ryan Michelle, Michelle Myers, Ali Upsie, not to be confused with Upsie, Fridge Pickle, Rosemary Prem, Robert Savott, Lizard Lee, Eliza Sharpe, Donald Schingler, Daniel Stavvy, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Kelate Arena, Rachel Vasquez, Luke of the Cheeto, Nia Venturi, the beloved yet borderline and appropriate empire of

Dr. Thunderbutt and Lady Crystal Bell, Justin Wiley, Brett Zimmerman, Arrow Jones, Jubo, Xavier Killing's Worth, Lane Kiffin is a hoe, mimetic hygienist, Aaron Star Josh Wood Damian, and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude DeClaws, Spunky Dan, Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelli, Jonathan K, Pearl No, Petabyte Avatar, Tug with the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs1012, Scotty Oats, Byrotron 95, Dance Break, Speakoo, the Brackon System in its homeworld Ren, Simply Tony,

Gabrielle Castillon, whom, what, when, where, and why is what all the grownies say while listening to Midnight Burger, a drum major in a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar, Sir Party Animal, Lloyd Jackal, Ari Shore, you, Mike Robb, the Nancy Sonatra,

“Courtney, to leave and alone if you want to live. Must be a witch, Kat with a K,”

My Thigronie, has a first name, Stomp and Steinell, Moustacheo,

Luca for Hezekile, Lachia Wawa Brava, Adeline Peats, C.C. Caricell, Quarth, the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's mom's milk, Scout and Fox Glove says the floor is lava, Unexpectedly Blue, Red Nell, Kurdomsky, Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulse at Deletche Studios presents Under the Truskin Sun, Get Out of my Booth, Bug, Propagator, I Hardly Knower,

Sad Angry Crap Man, Chuck McFinley, Effy and Zebulon's Trans Great Grand daughter Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon and a Coltron of Bats, Ben Carlisle, Flat Steve's Love for Grand Theft, Anna Kerney, Tater Tada Sassin, Forchnausers of the Apocalypse, Starblaze Burn Bright, Imzuki Oki, Spotted Brino, And Her Hand Me Down Frogs, Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kai-Dalo Headphones,

Hinkle, Pike Man Stover, Fondela Stover, Pike Man Stover's wife, Alexander the Boss, Scrizzles, Flap, Kitty Kitty Kitty, The Firekeeper, The End is Nye, Jeremiah the Canceled, Librarian Alex, Spike and Fay, Johnny Elin West and the Boys from the Dwarf, Speedy McSpeedy, Eli Wolf, Auntie Becky is owned by five rescue cats, speckled unicorn,

Jedi rides again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Long Blade Short Sword, Forget Normal, A Dam, CJ Johnson, a dragon sitting on a sort of dice, Windle Whittaker, Chumbo Wumbo, Fika Chu, Smivy, Globed Rulet, Andrew Fuller, Bon Me Hung, The Soup Witch,

Fettishini Elfredo, Cowboy and Sasquatch Hunts Bethany's, Pebbles, VV, Effy Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Philip your dad is not your dad, Nick Bohrrow, Midnight Plummer, his Royal Highness Mr. Handleton

Underfoot Kitty the First and Accomplice Princess Penelope,

the Marchioness of Mr. and Mayven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr. Cherry, our asses in the jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Hicer, India Inkblot, Sleve of Bahamut, Ome Gracie, Dalton Jenkins, Cat Holtz, Calarton the Tired Knight, the True Megamike, Fred and George,

Avomatic's Jr, Liza Worth, Castle Williams, Christy, Yeet Maboy, 46 Tool Shed,

Blended Music, definitely not Kevin, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E. Melt,

“Says in a World of Slugbots, Be a Huggbot,”

Read the Grey, the Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Never Child,

Dr. Nassau's Interdimensional Biologist, Kiboko Doorn, Cozamine, Theodracks, Joey B, Lucas Barding, God is Barber to Listen to Midnight Burger, Little Debbie Cupcake, Terren says, "Hey, Oreos are rabbit!" Sandalwood Mountain offers peace for your soul,

Whimsical Fuckery, Megan with an H, Patricia the Time Lord, Mango Connoisseur, The Big Moose, and his wife, The Little Moose, That Old Glory Cole, Gio Mianne's Cat Butler, Oshin Liu, Alex Berry, Andrew Okden, Ace of Metrical Exile, Chiro the Space God, Eliza Travels the Universe, Lindsay Bowen, the God-Damn podcast lawyer,

Alex Bruce, Dr. D. Bird-Clos, whether and Mrs. Dubap to Way Bird-Clos, whether want to say hello to the whole Spweather family. I lost my Galaxy Bridges in a Game of Panstarts, Angry Ron, Dominic Caesar, Durkidub,

Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring,

Most Likely Cass, Jasmine James, Dr. Caberand, also known as Omni, Thanks Waffle Shateau, Colorado Beekeeper, Fruit Cake, Zephyr's wife, Has the Hots for Zebulon, Jennifer Colkins, Midday Burger, Don Parks, Throat Goat 666-Oh My God, My Dad found out about my Patreon name, Princess Leia, Fish and a Bag, September previously observed in the pattern.

Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie, Droid Pirate Finlay, and his Rubin-esque parrot, Droid Pirate Finlay, and his Rubin-esque parrot, Stuck in a pit of Skittles, Sea Squatch, Defleater Mouse, Tony Peacarski, Adrienne R,

The Devil From Table 12, Havier, Crazy Thadly, Criminalist is just happy to be here, The Twisted Twigster, Real Housewives of CGS, Thay Queen, Oop, Shnart the Probability Demolition Expert, Show Time, Form My Mother,

CCTX Girl 6823 Waiting on the Diner, Nicole Studio So.

“Okay, I didn't get this exactly right, but I think I'm in the ballpark,”

The Twarrag Word for Shovel is to Beish Hen. Okay, the Flying Penguin honks at the court of Bethany's encroaching on their nest to honestly, this is getting absurd. Truck Stop Sandwich, Indigo, Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Malma, Wandering Biscuit, Castriff,

Ames Efection for Internet Protection, Retro-MG, NightScript, widget the world watcher wearing a waste coat and wig. Utrid Enros is Viking Void Vitals, Fuelling the Intergalactic Fight Against Fascism. Yeah, not sure what I'm doing, River Brown, Senior Doose,

Warped Writer, Tim Naci, Ruben Clamso, Turwin, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, Skull bulb, Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Randy Supreme and Queen Langcaster, Bolivar Shad Nasty, Starscribe, Lucy and Thunderstruck.

Ho-ho-ho-ho-bamama, Glorbnar 7, now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany wars. The other Adele, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Silly Willy Bubblebutt, Sierra Not From Arkansas. Ebodies are booed, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods,

Arnie Arbuckle Esquired, Potion Maestro, Nebula Nell, Regulators, Mount Up, Wandering Scholar, Mad Yogi, Eileen, Cat Named M, Betito Poto, Palace, Big Mo, I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed.

I swear to every star in the cosmos I never forgot it was a gift.

The Stone Fox, Silivia, Papito's, Henry the Goose, Jennifer Balmer, Ninja Grim Reaper, I am a bomb to let think of something else to do.

“Burr, it words, Hot Shot Hutley, Momo's Mama, Space Mormon says what?”

Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Murtle, Caitlyn, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, the fourth era, printing with cats, Caleseed Omar, Vaan Vega, Dixie Dina, 7000 possums, KBS 1017, Silas Vex, Sarah Jack Sparrow,

Space Pony, Revive, Debbie E, Dusty Ventures, and his pilot Uzi drifted in through space. Ronnie Porter, Gloria's line cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, the Gabbius painter, and her bird of fire. Cudell, Ferrell, Emily with two E's, Space Man Nathan,

Ramsey's niblic, the third croplunk, croplunk, whoops, wears my thribble. Jackie Wavelett, Yeoy Gagarin, a Grimlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scoracchio, Genuine Jacob, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Poofy Thang, Melonuggets, Keychain Crap,

Steelow, Bumbling Lily Bean, a quick pause or joke and sip from his tiny teacup. You know, a popular tea in the Twarrag region, is Mugreby meant tea. Okay, so you take your gunpowder green tea,

and then you take your fresh spirament, and a whole lot of sugar, and you brew it really strong. Which sounds pretty great. Panda, Kennedy Ellison Farner, the perpetually tired, transgender time traveler, Tristan Stoles,

Dalin Y, Shadow Rapture, yet another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Lama,

Jay to the Lynn, just a regular fox, Jeremy Empson,

“What the hell, Senateplex, and all the black people in North Carolina.”

Just Rachel, Waffles, Waffles, Waffles, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Eva Cigarette Ash, Hugh Biftett, A-Zooves, Anna Flaxis, Scave with Comtax, the shapeshifting Sad Girl, and her girlfriend say, Joe, you've done it again. Sarah Nicole, the Kells fights with the Bethany's,

Angry Leafs Laser Saw, Magnus Errochill, Amy Perry, Kristoffer Kai, Source decay, descendant of the weather catfish whisperer. Vagabond Mary, Bold Mouse, Katie Mermaid, and the Delinqued Duo, Norman, Nicole, Victor Showberger,

Reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake, Max Dangerous, Security Chief Shatsy, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy,

Naya Nix Reno, Frankenator, Nortalbash, Jordan,

R1x Blasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Hight, Medium Rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hafevice, and K.

“In the mysterious AZ HQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity”

of mics, a jumble of James's, a trifecta of Tonies, one of whom still wants to be safe, but sadly, no Bethany's. Rowan, Vady of the Black and Harold of the Stars, Arian can't manage normal, Ryan Burnett, Dr. Dr. B, Zopres and the Bumble Army, growing into my farm boots.

Super Beth becomes an RN alongside my bootstep farm friend. Geneva Boss, our cans and not Arkansas are brothers of the coastline. Uncivil Nomes, the Rat Queen Evelyn, Great Lunch Conversation, Captain Scott, Ledi Lou. He was a shifty one that Nick Hauer.

Kinger was here, a Bobby Ray Winnland Jr.

B-Bop B-Wop, Warped Echoes, Slabs McTurps, Jeremiah Franco, Justin, the Nick of Time, Gothic Rainbow, Cody McClure. Eternal Companion, Maxine Luzalt, Jingeloss, Eris, Goddess of Nobody, has Matilda, Ditsy Bay, just her average Reese, Kyle Church, Static Ego, Lali,

Evan M. Dobson, Dave B, Nabe, your friendly neighborhood pathologist,

“going to be lit, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars,”

externally screaming, but Bethany, I made biscuits, ski bow and fuzzle McBumpernits, Nielick's tiny wolf, Christina Senatus Teleporting, BRB. Definitely not an Android, seriously, I'm not. The Wandering Welchman, whatever tabby, Carolyn Harper,

Nikolai Tolkachew, Z3DT, Shy Sparrow's BLTN, The Kiwi Duckling, Dana Dana Bobaina, Fifi Fofaina, Monsters Omanax, biggest fan, Aubrey and her dad, Tequila Muckingbird, Sweather Goose, Damer in the Space Goblin, Iso pale, exquisite whimsy.

I am Lord Zolten, hear me, bro, or talk at Ghost Max. Max, the conqueror, imposes economic sanctions on the end to be Bethany's for the whole laser saw car incident. My cat's name is Beth. Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy, Victor Casados, Emily Schmemley,

Bohogo, bye-bye for Jojo, Pogo, that's a no-go bro, Cody Monster, collided mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Roodle, Kyle Perino, A.K., Sid the Sloth on a bike, Priya Gandhi, the Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the little mermaid

and the creature from the black lagoon are the same exact story. Little Stevie Pi, Green Mountain Hermit Bethany, Carl, the Teller of Dad jokes, Skylab's multi-dimensional multi-phasic intergalactic quantum cyberverse, Verde Sol, Galen Miller, Tess,

Geriatric Youngen, Mr. Kippy, Unforcable, Local Marsh Hag, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacon's, Pyros Calling, the Wizard Super Califragilistic XB Ladocious. Too many jams says things are bad, but we're going to win, Pamela Roselciera, then Stina says, Thud Tweed,

Enigmatic Cat Bird, Countess of Carbon, Luminous Elk, Rodian Cauchin, Loves for the Nierds, Tass Hernandez, Captain Crash and the Surviving Crew, it's just Tyson now.

Casper needs all the hugs but Joe needs an O2 tank. Quote says, Joe is the writer's room, Nasty Dog 74 needs crew for ship, brown coats okay, awkward heretic, 7777 Troy Acre, Mandy Kane, Northern Lee Kay, lost Basan, you know, the moon prison outside the triad.

Kim Sel, Silly Goose Hong Kong, Admatha, Astro Unit, Ghost Saber Wolf, the Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Tater's Precious, it's just Steve. RuPaul Attradies, Amanda Short, Chutt, Brimble, Dijra, Mike Whiskey and your friend Frosty,

Nose Guarro, Ben Barr, stand clear of the closing doors, please. Beacley Death, Sven The Unlegly, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wassin' Assen, Vyrestria, Theosis The Theologianish. Why is my daughter so feral, sent help? Fernwood Gal, Nelly G, Twinkle Tots, Gemini Skye, Phantom's Mom's,

Callison, Horn Swagland Daniel Arthur, it's a, it's a fucking dog rapture. Abigail Yurudali, King Humble, we'd better ask Dave, Winchimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborne Welsh, Fireball XL5, McKenzie-Duna, code stranger. One bat Tibet. Ha ha ha ha ha. Matt N. Alfie Revenerum,

Pause, diet night, Mars royalty, take 20 damage, M. Z. B. B. Stand, Kim Bob, Battlepope and

“Bugaboo, Snorts Magoritz, Fresh Squeeze, Patrick Holt, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now,”

Hold It, Heat It, Hat It, Hold It, Bradley Ashby, Peter, William Dyer, Vicky A. Bear, Brad Menier, Jane, Hannah Dale, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Killshot Betty and her Steelite Boe, Jackie Lowe, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Lily the Planetary Brain, Crazed Bear, Crafty Lizard Be Quilton. Yes, my brain is weird. Thank you. Megan The Meg Young, A Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Ren, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Araneta,

Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Quatcher, Jeremy Barramy, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Beladana first of her name, Crittle, Twilio, Heidel Birdie, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkatech, McClump, Azana the Leather Smith, Salazar the

Do Mage, Hayward's finest Gary Mealazando. To my little, you'll always be my good girl.

“You took a piece of my heart and left a paw print on my soul. Till we meet again, Sir”

Shits a lot strikes again, damn animal, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruzenby Anthony, Trick says, "Weep!" Tibbled the first, Ellie Frog, Trade the Turquoise tortoise, Freyette Mittens, Courtney the Frogologist, The Funtucky Wrangler, Scrimbroulee, Yay Erin, The Singing Loone, Zuzana, Celeste Yos, I'm so Antiquity Fond, I'm Ava's evil twin sister Bethany, Katie

and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, the Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simione, Ashley Chapel Peoples,

Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Diffinestration of Teds, Korean Sebrantha, Shadow Daddy,

Rubius Fuzzlebot, Kay Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuda, Eli the Electrician, Sunny Deanomely, Charme, Kayon with Karma, The Wondrous Methazafon, Hashtag Nissan Accurah, Phenagon Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Mother of Cats, Flat Dug, Deary Darling, Gambian Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King Loves, Kathy, Laura, Roman Ronin, John Pruit, Camel Pope, Philemina,

Rebecca Trossel, Igpay Attenley, Chris from Tacoma, The Real Fairy Godmother, Missy Lou, Kelsey Home, Still Casper's No. 1 fan, but now armed with the quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom, Damian the goddamn time lawyer, Matt Mosby, St. Foo, Harry Fishnutz, Astronoweeb, Magnos the Civil Nome, welcome everybody, I'm Hidalon and I'll be leading our Midnight Burger emotional support group, Starlight, David

Pirini, Techno Ranger Rick, Virgo Aries Infinity, Best of Buds Danny and M, a Charles Q. Choi, a bug named Nat, CC writer, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, all coccanator, Ron was here, Magic Pony, Robert Olavary, often wrong Dan, Jess Gioia, Killer Odd, creator 67, Merbat of the Dark Sees, Cosmic Trug, and Courageable Ross, SCRB Mark 11, Eric A. Raeborn, Maggie's Yarm, Stu, and The Namely, Haunt, Purple Sailing, three legs are perfectly good,

Drew and LA, anomalous Death to PSL Vandal, Fuck Ice, Captain Blepp, Ryan, Evie Power, Terry, PJ says what? Amelia Lucero at all, fear now doesn't polish the shiny melon, Blargo Blargo Blargo, the Jazz Man, tonight at 11, Larac the Barbarian S, Hicks Bezzy Mates, Zellis Pragma, Tuba Rick, it's just a Blake,

“Alice Malis reminds you to take your medication, please, your health is important.”

Kelly Jane Danki, Erin the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, A.K. A. Casper from another universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucretia, Thornus Animator, Tamarong Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Eva, no not that, Eva the one with end, Grim says, Rest in Peace, Jamie Ball, You are my light, and the world is dimmer without you in it. Zacking at, underwater Corvid, Spizzer Ringtum, snakes and bakes, Michael Christian,

Ransum, Maroon Miceleal, Grollix and Terribang, late indeed again, Theron Piralus, Om Vega, coming soon, dances with burritos, walked and loaded. Erin Mitchell, Lady Keyonu Miceon, Onix Rose, Jackie Wavelett, J.R. The Hikerbear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Crusty McBeardface, Malaran, Sweet Michelle, Cara, Colmi Zen, Calibri, Melmomburg, Rogue, Lisa Geysler, Attention, Dred Pirate Fred Burger, we have one out of languages.

Please contact our office, what the chuck, Sonor Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd Van Voris, Naya De Russo, Peachy Satowichi, Indie the Grak and Azula the Brave, and their

Exhausted Bean. Well, there was one time when an Air Force pilot being chased by aliens, "Well, there was one time!" You know, I just, I really missed Bracouse, because I'm not sure if I remember him.

“Wait, did we hear you? I don't think we heard you test, could you say?”

And I was muted like it's my first day on the internet. Damn it, started all over. Where are they going, Gloria? And why aren't they ready?

Phil, I love that story that you always tell.

Hey, there. Should I be a little more convincing? I love that. I feel like just 20%, pull back 20%, 20%. Got it.

I'm sorry, can we take that as the crow flies one more time, just to be sure it was all in my brain that I heard clove rise? Oh, no, that sounds right. That sounds like what I said. Clove rise? That's the clove rise.

Clove rise. Yes. 11,000, no, that's a question.

Yeah, you're asking, boon, yeah. I said it, and then I was like, "Ah, I'm not that good at maps." I was too certain. I'm too confident. And I'm a man who makes nothing. And I would... Got him.

Just imagine the rest of the crew behind boon like, "Oh, oh!"

“I'm so glad. Peter's starting to ring dancing. Peter?”

Oh, why have you also awkward to just say? Oh, God! Peter! Peter? Peter? Lovely. That was so nice. That was beautiful, Susie. So, Joe, that's the kind of energy that we need you to bring to these. Phenomenal? I worked to retail, so I feel like there's a lot of retail in boon's

short alien DNA. God damn it. What's wrong? That's my line. You're so good at acting, honey. He's so good. He practiced that one. He's got notes in the margin. Sorry that he just did that because what he wanted me to do was to say this instead.

All right. Well, you know what they say about hope, Casper. It springs a kernel. That was much better. I like that a lot more. Yeah, I like that a lot more. Right. Exactly like that. Who needs words? He's words.

Oh my God, it's so funny. The fable and falling network, where fiction producers flourish. Welcome to Magenta Presents, a new horror anthology hosted by me, Madam Magenta. We begin with a five-part mini-series ghosted, starting Beth Air and Lucy Roslan. Perched on a rain-battered cliff-inch is a former lighthouse. It's a charming quirky boutique hotel.

Oh, no, and so lock-up and Beth has spent months renovating, absorbing its essence into her bones. It's an old building. You'll get used to it.

But to Beth's horror, her first guest is a figure from a past she has tried to forget.

“Cara? Beth? What the fuck face to face for the first time in years?”

A pair must reckon with old mistakes, old grievances. Beth, speak to me. And something else. Oh, I can't bear it. Is that noise? Because the lighthouse has a past too. Beth, he's right there. Why is there blood on your hands?

We need to get out of here. Cara, Cara, I can't still see him. Subscribe to Magenta Presents, where if you listen to podcasts. See you soon, fans of the esoteric. Bye! Thanks.