Welcome to the Horizon 2.5: The True Trans Traveler

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“There's a whole other city under that city. People from all over the place, their kids.”

There are these huge caves under the city. They run for miles, looks like. The indigenous

people of Raxprime are subterranean. They think it stems from a period in their history when there were frequent media strikes on the surface. There's not many of them left now, but they left behind a complicated network under Raxia. Any idea how many Steve? I don't know. 100, a few hundred, a few thousand, a thing? Well, that's more than we have in town. They're all enslaved. I mean, you can call what you want. He gave me a tour of the whole camp. He said that people come there

for all sorts of reasons, looking for a better life, on the run from fascist governments, on the run from a collapsed society. They come there thinking it's a way out, but then they get trapped there. How did they get trapped there? It's certainly not a new idea. They come there and pay a price to gain shelter. They incur a debt. They're then told they have to work to pay off the debt. With the ridiculously high price and improving interest, there's no possible

way to pay it off. And the work they do? Whatever they're told to do, they don't have a choice. Yeah, I'll call that slavery. In this minskie guy, he's able to do this right under the nose of, I don't know, whatever the powers that be or nobody on Raxia is, it's going to care about something

“like this. It's killer. Be killed. Steve. Frank, listen, Steve, can you tell me what the fuck you were thinking?”

Frank, I understand that this was traumatic, okay? But when are we all going to get it through our heads that we're in a dangerous place here? But were you thinking? Frank, in his defense, the danger hasn't been that apparent. Are you kidding me? You were almost deducted. Aside from that, yes, I had to write a spaceship into orbit to save. I did have that handle. But please, don't remind me that I wrote a spaceship for no reasons. Sorry. But we're warned about dangerous guys like

Slabs McDurps, but then Celeste starts dating him. Wait, what? What? And we not make that a part of public conversation, please. Look, this is the thing with the triad. You can make fun of it for a while

real quick. Did you know about this? Kind of. What do you mean?

“Had an operation like this? It was a pipe dream of minskies for a long time, but Lovetracks would never”

let him do it. Lovetracks was a psychopath, but for whatever reason, they drew the line at slavery. But now that Lovetracks is gone. I guess I guess I'm okay with it. I already use minskies to be one of these people. He was a refugee. He's from a planet called Ren in the Braking System. Hello, on Earth, that place. Total societal collapse. He had to claw his way out of there when he was just a kid.

And then years later, he looks at the same type of people he used to be. And he thinks that's a great

business opportunity. Okay, great. I don't want to get off topic here. Steve, you don't live in a bubble. Okay. I'm sure you think you're invincible, but you weren't just putting yourself in danger. You were putting all of us in danger. This isn't a fun little game, Steve. We're talking about people's lives. Frank, shut the fuck up for a minute, please. Last night, Steve and I were working together. What? Last night, Steve was approached by an employee of minskies, though we didn't know it was

his employee at the time. He shoured Steve with compliments and told him that his employer would love to meet. Steve handed suspicious, went to the bathroom and consulted me. I agreed that it was suspicious, and I encouraged Steve to decline the meeting. And then I thought, well, these guys think I'm stupid. And maybe we should take advantage of that. Steve didn't volunteer to take the meeting anyway. He felt that if someone were trying to take advantage of us,

we should probably know who it is. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I wasn't expecting, well, I wasn't expecting all that, nor was I, Steve, but it was definitely a successful reconnaissance mission. Yes, Nick, you little bit. I tell you things when you ask, and when you need to know them. Hey, Steve, are you okay? Minski, Minski was treating me like, I was, I don't know, like, I would understand. And he thought, I was like him. I'm not, right? Steve, of course not.

I would never do something like that. Oh, we know that, Steve. Hey, everyone. Steve just went through

“something really traumatic, and I think he needs some rest. Also, I think this story has”

maybe affected us too, and we all need some time to process. Well, I'm afraid we're not done drinking. Oh, Jesus, what else? Since case presence here is disquietting to say the least, he's the definition of cautious and calculating, and he wouldn't be here without good reason. He had several jammers in place that kept me from tracking Steve's location, but I was able to record video and audio on Steve's phone the entire time. I can show you what Steve saw last night if you'd like. Why would we

want to see that? Yeah, I don't recommend it. No, no, we should. Why? Well, Steve saw some very traumatic things last night, and he's bearing that burden alone. I think it would help Steve, if we all bore that burden together, and Steve being the only one with this experience separates him from us, and we all need to be in the same boat. It's important. There's some wisdom to that,

“I think. Also, you'll be able to see what men's key looks like and sounds like. He's here now,”

and this won't be the last we see of him. Let's do it. If you'd like to excuse yourself, feel free. I'll send the video to the television of the bar. Okay. Okay, guys, let's just try to keep things as normal as possible. Okay, Frank and I will head to the horizon. Doug, head across the street. Dears are you going to open the doors later? Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. We can all remember that,

are a thousand more stories like this. This one just happened to arrive at our doorstep. It won't

be the last one. That's encouraging, Eldon. Guys, we're going to be okay. Just to put things in perspective, it's not the thing. It's not invasion of the body snatchers. It's not even event horizon. Okay, from a sci-fi perspective, we're still doing fine, right? Thank you, June. Yeah, look, we're going to be okay,

“guys. Okay, ready, work. Hey, Steve, do you want to come across the street with me? I don't think you should”

be alone. Yeah, that sounds good. Life, I'll be around with your phone, please. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, sunshine. Hi, June. You look like a man who really wants to manage a motel all day. You have no idea how true that is. Doug, hey, so last time. I think it might be time to access my secret stash. Yep, I thought it might follow me. Are you okay? Am I? No, no, I'm not. Is your spec need to be? No. I, I feel a lot of things. I know. I, everyone's got their reasons for living up at the top of

“a mountain. Okay. I take things on a little too much. That's what Trinket says anyway. See,”

I see someone upset or alone or hurt. And suddenly it's my problem. And it's a problem. I can't really do anything about. So I just sit there with someone else's problem that's now become my problem. And that happens about nine times a day. By the time the day is over, I feel overwhelmed, and tired. And that's just on a light day. So I wound up back here on the mountain a lot. I don't know how you functioned out there. All this time you were out there in a world like this.

How did you do it? Well, it helps to never know the other side.

If all you know is crime and evil and slavery, well, you um, you start to accept it.

“Welcome to the triad and you know, that's what we say. You can't change it, you.”

Might as well get used to it. I don't want to be like that. I know. I don't want you to be like that. I'm not. Not anymore. What changed? Let's see, there was this girl and she asked me to dance. Oh god, how am I supposed to do this? I just opened the barn now and served beers to aliens who may be, may they could have bought some of those people. Yeah, I know.

What am I supposed to do? We're going to get them out. What? We're going to get them out? I beg your pardon. Ellen, just how? I may have an idea. An idea. Steve said there were thousands of them. Yeah. Don't just make it a little tricky. A little tricky. Well, yeah, less than that would be ideal, but you know. Furch, what? Don't do this. Why?

I don't want to lose you just because I can't learn how to live in the world. I'm not. Yes, you are. I feel it too. Okay. These past few months with you. I can't experience the world the way I used to. I see everything differently. I can't just survive anymore. It's not enough.

But you know, here I am. This wasn't what I was asking you to do. I know. I don't want you to do this for me. I'm not. I'm doing it for us. I can't live our lives together. Knowing you saw all those people and we did nothing besides doing things for you was all I had planned for the rest of my life. So what is this plan you're talking about? Well, it's a little shall we say unconventional. So how about before I tell you the plan, I go argue with

life about it for a little while and then I'll be back. You know, I already think you're amazing.

You don't have to do this. I know. Look, I'm standing here in the middle of a brand new me. I'm not really sure what I'm capable of. So maybe I want to take this new model out for a test drive.

“If your plan is to get out of ear shot, I think you succeeded. Are you kidding me?”

Minsky showing up right now? What are the chances of that? This isn't a coincidence. Of course, it's not a coincidence. Maybe we should have talked about that in the meeting. How would that have changed anything? It's not as though we left with a list of action items. There's no reason for anyone to be on a higher alert anymore than they already are. It should get out of here. If I'm a target, then I should leave. If Minsky knows where I am,

then I'm a sitting dot. That may not be entirely true. What do you mean? Life. What? Maybe in my ship. Let's talk.

“What are you doing? I'm putting on my hiking boots. You haven't worn those in 10 years?”

I wear them. I wear them when I'm thinking about taking a hike and then I decide to against it and I put them away for another year or two. You're thinking about going on a hike? No. You are, and I'm coming with you. How do you know I'm going on a hike?

Because you have your boots on. I always have my boots on. You're thinking about something,

and when you're thinking about something, you always go upward. I don't need any company. Frankie, you're incredibly lucky to have me as a family member. We both know that. I'd like to change a few words in that sentence. But honestly, lately, I've been feeling like I'm falling down on the job. June, you do have a hard time doing job. The aliens. The danger. My hot boyfriend. It's very distracting. It's time for me to get back to my

roots. My true calling in this life, helping my poor cousin Frankie act more like a human being, and less like some shambling mound hiding in the forest, even though he may have literally transformed into a shambling mound hiding in the forest. Let's go! God, I'm already tired. Okay, here we go. I keep them in the fridge behind the eggs, just for you.

“Wow. There they are. They're beautiful, aren't they?”

So how long has it been since you've had one of these? Oh, it's been years. They used to be my favorite thing, but then they stopped making them. Then when I was stationed in Manila, I found a box. I met a corner store, brought them back to my room. I was so excited, but couldn't bring myself to have one. What if these are the last

Philadelphia cheesecake snack bars in the world? Oh, I could never bring myself to eat one.

Oh, right. So, um, so let's these bars are old. Yes. Um, very old. They are. So like a couple of decades

the wonders of, um, good preservatives, but these are cheesecake in a bag, essentially.

“I know. We would never eat one. I just, I like that there there for some reason.”

Have you been to Manila? Oh, no. It's per chaos, that city. And I was a very young private and I had to drive a keep through all of that with the base, Commander in the back. After a day of that, I would go back into the mess hall where they kept

my box of cheesecake snack bars for me. I would just look at them. Never ate one.

Was a nice little organized thing in a chaotic world? Oh, um, we should start to let go of things like this. I know. No, no amount of clean to the past has ever made it stick around. I know. How does one do that? I don't know. I imagine I replacing it with, you know, something else. Hey, guys. Hey, Steve. How are you doing? I'm, uh, okay, I guess. What are you guys doing? Oh, we were. Um, then was just throwing away some garbage that I had over here.

It was. What are you two up to? Wow. We were next door. And I guess, Trinket was about to, you know, make me tea or something or something and probably meditate or something or something, but then we, well, we had a thought. What was your thought? Well,

“we've all decided that the best way forward is to sit here in the mountains and try and”

wait this whole thing out until we move on. But then I said, hey, what if we do something instead? Okay. Do what? How much gas do you have in the Jeep Celeste? What the fuck are you doing to my ship? Just having to look around. This is a wild custom job. Is this does? He did me a favor. It's insane. I like it. It's a long-range ship with a two-person confined cockpit. I know. It doesn't make any sense.

Which is why I like it. But you've still got the racing engines. How do you not flame out on long trips? He said one would be a problem. Wait a minute. Each engine has its own drive core. That must be it. That's my fucking idea. Of course it is. Feel it, ask. Truskins? Wait, get the fuck out of there. Let's talk. All right. So, min ski. Yeah. So many fond memories. Sorry. He's obviously here for me. I told Eldon I should

“get out of here, but he told me to talk to you. Yes. Why?”

Something weird is going on. Of course it is. There's a bounty on my head. That's not weird. Yeah. No, that's not weird. But it's apparently the largest bounty ever placed.

How big? Never catches me. It's a whole system cluster.

Jesus. Yeah. Also, what has to do is catch you and they get to run the operation for a whole cluster of systems. Which is easier said than done, but still. Who put the bounty on your head? You did. Uh-huh. Also, I have to be taken alive. If anyone kills me while they're trying to catch me, they'll be in deeper shit than I am. Really? I don't know what I did, but the version of me

No idea.

“We don't know if min ski is here for you or me. Right. We don't.”

Okay.

I'm going to be honest. That's kind of a relief. Oh, well, you're welcome.

But it does complicate things. Mm-hmm. Because you can leave to try and take the heat off of us, but I'm not leaving, life. Okay. Well, obviously, min ski pulled this whole stunt with Steve to let either you or me know that he's here. I think so. I guess he's hoping that we'll make either you or me make a run for it, and then catch us when we do. Probably. But since we're not doing that, I guess we'll help her down here. Wait for his next move. Yeah.

But what if we didn't do that? What do you mean? You saw the same footage I did just out. Okay. I hate where this is going. Slaves, life. Shit.

“Why now? Verge. Why do you have to have a conscience right now? Oh, I've always had a conscience”

life, and in fact, so have you. But also a much stronger survival instinct, which you seem to have lost. I thought that was a Fabian's whole thing. Survive no matter what. What if having a conscience is a survival instinct? What? I'm serious. Who died and made you a manual cough? Sitting around

saying, "Welcome to the triad," every time someone gets screwed, it never worked. Lave, look at where

we are, and who the fuck is Emmanuel Kant? You know, when I first opened my eyes and saw your face, this is the last conversation I thought we'd be having. Who are you? The last thing, meant he's going to expect is us getting aggressive. There's a reason why he won't be expecting it. It's stupid. But he still won't be expecting it. Okay. Be clear with me. What are we talking about? You want to stage some daring heist wherein we free thousands of hostages

and do what with them? I don't have every step of the plan to lay out in front of you, Lave. You have no steps of the plan. You have a feeling that's not a plan. I'm telling you what I want. What you want or what Dejra wants. I've picked up on a bit of a

“problematic moral center with that one. That's what this is about, right? It's what we both want.”

Loving someone doesn't make you invincible. Yes, it fucking does, Lave. So you're not a manual, Kant. You're Elizabeth Barrett Brownie. Stop throwing earth names at me. Cuts. I'm not doing this. Lave. Do you remember how you used to look at impossible things? You would laugh at them. They were like a challenge to you. So what? Be that guy again, just for a minute, come on. Virt. Over here, you've got that kid you met all those years ago.

And over here, you've got the guy who just placed a massive bounty on your head. The guy who has no problem with enslaving people. I hate to say it, but I'm much closer to the second guy than I am

to the first. Lave. That's not true. I built the cowcatcher. I promised you. I would never

build it. And I built it. I built it. I launched it. It was right before I wound up here. I fired it at Crocs planet. If I my estimation, it will arrive about a year before I even get there. The timeline will splinter off. And that Lave will never know the difference. And after traveling that far, the energy release will be massive.

I don't know. I know he has an army. It could be thousands, could be billions.

“Tell me again about that wide-eyed kid you fell in love with.”

I seem to recall you cackling pretty loudly when I often entire tower full of science priests. Yeah, he know what happened after that. I grew the fuck up Lave. Fuck you. If I guess I did it. So excuse my childish action of you know, trying to prevent a psychopathic god from controlling the universe.

“I can see that you've changed. But doesn't mean everyone else changes with you.”

It waits around for you, you know. That person that you've tried so hard not to be, they just sit there and wait. Usually wait for you to be alone. I'm sorry. All this time, trying to get to know the new you. Nothing new. Just as you left me.

“I'm going to stop trying to appeal to your moral center. Now.”

Five. Which leaves me with this. You fucking owe me. You've been out there for time. I don't know how long transmitting little messages telling me to come in a hood's pocket. Sounds like a lot of guilt you're carrying around Lave. I guess. Then I'll appeal to that. You owe me. You fucked me over. And you owe me. Five. We're not going to just sit here and let thousands of people

get sold into slavery. Five. So I hope you're ready to put that diabolical. Doomsday weapon making mind of yours to work. Forge. I can't spin straw into gold. There's no way that I can get thousands of people off this planet without someone noticing. You don't need to get them off the planet. You can't bring them here. We're not bringing them here either. No. It's worth a shot. You can't be serious.

I am serious. Virt. Don't be ridiculous. You've heard the stories. I've heard the stories.

They're stories. This is going to upset you. But after the first part of our conversation,

you know what? This feels even better than I was expecting. You're going to construct this entire plan around a fucking fairy tale. Very tale. Oh, come on, Lave. Dream big. I'm not doing this. As I said before, fuckface. I'm not appealing to you anymore. I'm calling in a debt. You

fucking owe me. You fucking weasel and I am collecting. Fine. It'll be like when we first met, baby.

Hiking is terrible. You live on a mountain. You're forgetting. Huh. I have perfectly crafted.

My daily movements. So that I never, never, never have to walk uphill. I'm a masterpiece of

urban planning. Jesus, drink drink some water. Oh. I'm supposed to drink water. You were supposed to drink water. Give me some water here. You really need a squeeze lemon in there. Uh-huh. Some cucumber slices, maybe. June. Why are you here? I'm being supportive. Oh, well, you're doing great. Remember, Mick Hadley? Mick Hadley. I don't think so. He was one of those rich guys. Made a bunch of money from, I don't know, some phone app or something. He decided to be a rich guy

on the mountain. About a bunch of climbing gear that he didn't need. Really excited about his new mountain climbing life and he heads up the mountain for the first time, but like nine ropes hanging

off his body. Anyway, three days later, we realized that he never came down. He went up the mountain

and just stayed there. So I go into the sheep's eye and I'm like, guys, we have to go find Mick Hadley. And by we, I mean, of course, I mean someone else. And so dug. That's all the way up there. He finds the guy. He was sitting at a little campfire, eating his last energy bar. I guess he had some sort of weird anxiety attack and couldn't get back down. Doug said he was like, oh, no,

“the rest of my life is down there. Weird, right? You think I came up here to avoid the rest”

of my life. You? Genius. You've decoded my mother fault. It's not what I'm doing, June. Well, what are you doing? I don't know. Taking one last look, I guess. Before you leap to your death, I don't mean to be a buzzkill, but I don't think you can leap to your death anymore. You may have to start from way higher. Do you want to keep climbing? Try it from there. My dad was the same way,

you know? What way? He never wanted anything to change. Oh, yeah. For sure. He wore four

flannels and a pair of jeans. His entire life. That's not true. Unless there was a wedding. And then he

“wore the suit. The green suit. And the brown tie. You know what's in my closet, June?”

For different flannels. Yep. It was not my intention to be his carbon copy. I know. There were guys to be a carbon copy of. He wasn't a bad guy. Yeah, I know. There's a giant salamander in Doug's backyard. Around the mountain is a space dinosaur. Trinket is talking to mushrooms, dethrers in love with a four-armed alien. And I could jump from the top of this mountain and not die. So, what exactly am I trying to hang on to? I don't know if you've noticed,

but sometimes I make fun of you for being such a stick in the mud. Stop it, really? It's true. I had not noticed. Well, it's very subtle. Uh-huh. But I never asked you to change, Frankie.

“I don't think you should. If you don't want to, be this guy. Be this guy. All you want.”

If you don't want to change, don't. You just have to accept that everything else

either. Sure. So, those people that Steve saw last night, they're trapped. Yeah. I don't think anyone's going to do something about that. So, so. So, I guess we have to. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, Frankie. Sounds like they have awakened the swamp. Absolutely. No more swamp thing,

jokes, June. No more. I'll try. Let's do this. What do we do first?

“Well, first you have to get up and then we walk back to town. Ah, walking downhill, my favorite.”

Ah, so this is Steve. Are you sure this is safe for us to be here? I feel not great. You know, that's the thing about this place. Everyone is from all over the place, so you know, no one really notices you. It's got a very strange feeling to it. It's very cold Steve. Are you sure you're up for this? Yeah. I mean, it's worth the try, right? If you say so. Why are we in an alleyway? Currently, this is where we're supposed to meet her.

Oh, uh, who? How did you know about this alley? It's kind of funny. I don't recognize anything

“around me right now, but it all kind of works the same as it always does. What do you mean?”

Minsky made a mistake. Never introduce someone to your connect. Because if they know your connect,

what do they need you for? The shit. Oh, oh my. What is that? Whoa, Steve. You again. Dirt Fairy. I'm not really looking for new customers. It's a one-time thing. I promise I won't be a nuisance. And there's just no one else that can help us with, you know, this particular problem. What problem is that? We're trying to get deep under the city. As deep as you can go. Huh. That's a new one. Why? Why? I need to get to the ground underneath

the city. Not not asphalt, not sewers, but the actual earth that the city is built on. Can you do that for me? I can, but it's a bit of a trek and the smell is really something. Oh, that's fine. What's this about? Come on, dirty Fairy. You don't seem like the type that wants more information than you need. Okay. How much? How much? I don't do this out of the

kindness of my heart. Steve, sure. Right. Yeah, sure. Yeah. What? One second.

What do you want? Money? Yeah. I didn't think about that part. Oh, I have 12 earth dollars.

“I think that'll do the thing. Oh, oh, I have some alien money that June gave me. Oh, but no,”

it's back at the shop and go. Maybe I could trace some jewelry. You guys are from that earth place, right? Up in the mountains? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's us. Did the earth suits give us away? Pringles. Oh, that's that? I want pringles. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yes. Pringles. I, I can do that. We have original and sour cream and onion and pepperoni pizza. That's the one. Pepperoni pizza. Okay. How do they get a whole slice of pizza in there? Well, that is mystery,

for sure. Okay. Four tubes. Oh. Oh. Four tubes is really going to set me back. Oh, but it's fine. It's fine. Yeah. That's fine. I can, I can get you four tubes. Good. We have a deal.

about this. Look. Steve had that whole terrible experience seeing all of those poor people and

but, but it didn't know where he was and and Elton couldn't track him down. When I'm on the mountain, I can sense where people are on the mountain and maybe if I get my feet in the dirt under the

“city, I can try and get a sense of where this encampment is and if you can find them, what then?”

I, I think you know what happens then, Celeste? I think we all do. Okay. Good luck, Trinkin.

Hey, you guys stay with the Jeep. I'll head down there with them. How bad is the smell, Steve? You remember the paper mill down in Halsey? Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. It's worse. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. [Music] [Music]

Can I be both? Hey, whisper down. Lovely to not hear your voice again. Let me know when you're over the shock. Not at all. I'm still dead for all intents and purposes anyway.

Good. Mm, a little bit of both actually. There's always a million ways to get killed down down.

I'm just trying to die happy. Okay. Well, it's a wild one. Maybe the wildest I've ever asked for. Watch your stuff. The stone's going to start to break up. Almost there.

“I can't see a damn thing. So how did you get to know all these tunnels?”

I was born down here. All my people were. You're from here? One of the last native racians. Wow. It took them a hundred years to realize they were building a city on top of us. Then when they did realize it, they didn't hear. Goddamn. Steve, are you okay? How are you not tripping over everything? I can see just fine. You should trink it. What? Your eyes are glowing.

They are? Yeah. Are they not supposed to? No. I mean,

“who knows? You should probably know because they're your eyes. How much are they glowing?”

Do I have like headlights in my face or something? No. But I can definitely see them. You look like a pair of floating eyes right now. That's crazy. And you can see fine? Yeah. I mean, I can see you standing right there. Trink it. Your whole situation is just like getting water and water these days. It's out of control.

Who the fuck are you people? We're, we're mountain folk. We're, we're a little weird. Okay.

Whatever. We're here. We are.

“What is it? What are we looking at? It's mad. It's bubbly. This is the first trace of”

actual dirt you'll see. There's a lava tube melting a glacier nearby. It makes a river of mud under the city. I don't think this is what we had in mind, dirt. Ferry, you wanted dirt. You got it.

I didn't say it was going to be dry. I don't know about this Trink it. Um, um, should be fine.

What? You're going to get in there? Yeah. You know, back home rich people would pay a lot of money for something like this. Oh, yeah. Rich people are stupid. Okay. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay, let's, let's do this. Anything dangerous in there? No, just, good clean mud. I mean, might be kind of nice. Sure, there's no mud alligators in there or something. What's a mud alligator? It's, uh,

it's a thing. I just made up in my head. No, there are no things you made up in your head in there.

Steve, it's probably good. You can't see anything. Why? Because I should probably get any good. What? Yeah. Yeah. It's probably for the best. How is that possible? Steve, come on. What exactly was this peasant skirt going to protect me from anyway? I've seen some crazy shit in this city. This may take the cake. Oh, thank you. Okay. Here we go. I better get in though, which is halving for the shit.

“People watch, here is. I can't stop looking at them. Okay, that one there. What's her story?”

Oh, okay. Um, that is star blaze berm bright. Nice. Yes, she is a princess of a planet called Jo, Jo, Swagian. I like it. She's on the run. Uh oh. Yep. She is being chased by a bounty hunter known as the crandy man. I love it. Yeah. Oh, how about those two? Ah, okay. Well, that's dirty diaper, fast butt and the piggy run. Okay. They used to have their own TV show called, uh, Gremlin with the Monchi. Well, that sounds delightful. A little one had a catchphrase he would say every episode.

Oh, my God. What is it? It's not rocket surgery. Hello, you too.

“Hello. Hello. What are we up to today? Yes. Going for a drive. Really? Whereabouts?”

You know, over the hills and hills and and, uh, dails. The hills and dails is correct. How long should we sit here and pretend I don't know your location? A little bit longer would be crazy sergeant. What are you doing in the city? We have. We have given ourselves an assignment. I see. Why? So, Eldon, we, um, we felt a little bit antsy in town, so we decided to do something that you consider a board game. Perhaps Jenga, Steve and Trinket had an idea. Can we move past the phase where

people have ideas? Well, no, it might be a good one. Any idea might be a good one. Trinket thinks that if she can get underneath the city, so be able to tell where those poor people are that we saw on the video. I see Trinket's trying to get underneath the city so that she can

All right. Carry on. Get back as soon as you can. We'll be bringing our friends

star blaze burn bright. Is that okay?

“Hello there. Hey baby. Hello. Hello. Why is June on the floor?”

She tried walking today. It was a terrible mistake. What's going on? Yeah. Please hold your judgment until after I'm done. Okay. Okay. Wow. This actually feels really strange.

What does Frank? I'm, I'm not, I'm not a freedom fighter, Frank. I've never been out there.

Fighting the good fight. You know, I survive. I try and find some quiet moments. I don't stick around. And then suddenly I got stuck. Suddenly there was something very sticky. They're talking about me. I'm the sticky part. She's very sticky. Ugh guys. Don't be adorable right now. I already want to puke. I look. I've always just looked out for myself and I can't do that anymore.

“And honestly, it's not just the hot girl you have behind the bar. It's about all of you.”

You all accepted me and protected me. Frank, you, you wrote a spaceship into orbit to save me. Really, that you have no idea how strange that feels. And lately, that's made me wonder if I found a home. If this impossible thing happened, well, then what else is possible? What else did I call impossible without actually knowing if it was a search listen? You don't look, there may be a way to get the prisoners out as what I'm saying.

There may be a way. Okay. I keep wanting for you to do the Frank thing where you tell everybody shut the fuck up. So just keep talking. Okay. It involves something a bit unconventional. It would almost have to. It's David Blaine going to make them disappear. You folks really, really,

really, really, really, really, really just stop using all the random earth themes. I never know what

the fuck you're talking about. George, what's the unconventional plan? Well, okay. You know what,

“I think it would be great if life explained it to you. Seriously? Fuck you. Get on out there,”

life. No. Go ahead, life. You really trust me to sell this. Life, come on. What is it? Fine. It's called the True Trans Traveller. What is that? Santa Claus. It is. Like, what is the True Trans Traveller? Okay. There's a lot of stories out there in the triad. Nobody believes all of them and some of them hardly anyone believes. One of those stories is the True Trans Traveller. It's a ship. As the legend goes, if there's ever a situation where a large

group of people are in trouble, natural disaster or environmental collapse, the legend says that sometimes in those situations, the True Trans Traveller appears. It's a gigantic ship that appears out of no ware and is completely undetectable when it travels. And you don't think it exists. Very few people do. We have a name for those people. Watch it, buddy. It's a fairy tale, Frank. It's a story you tell kids so they won't be afraid. Give it, verge seems to be talking about this ship like it's an actual

viable option. I know. And it's really fucking with my head. It does sound a little too good to be true. It does. You know what else sounded too good to be true? A galaxy called Cryptesia. People would

lords. I've told you all already what Cryptesia actually is. That's what believing in myths like

“this can get you. I've heard tons of stories about this ship. They can't all be fairy tales. How many”

stories of you guys heard about Sasquatch? They can't all be fairy tales, right? I totally saw Sasquatch one time. Nope. Nope. No, you didn't. Look, 6,000 people on Lexicon. A meteor strike collapses their environment. They had maybe a weak left of habitability. Where do they go? Nobody knows. That's one story. You can hear stories like this on Geneva bus. Chance right guard station. The mother of Pearl was about to get sucked into a magnetarth and suddenly. I hear the pilot's name is

Kyle, the interstellar highway man. Fuck off. I hear the mess hole shows existential pancakes.

Oh, I mean, verge. You don't have tons of convincing evidence here. Okay. Well, look, I may have some intel on this. There's a whole network of people out there who look at deep scanning data and try to look for traces of the true trans traveler. I got in touch with an old contact and they gave me three hotspots where I could wait for the true trans traveler and try to send a message. One of those hotspots isn't far from here. Uh, honey. It'll be okay.

Sorry, this doesn't sound like much of a plan, verge. It's not a plan yet. You know what? We need right now. Everyone's being too nice. We need a real asshole in this conversation. I'm sorry, am I being too nice? I can be worse. And you're a little too squishy. Life, we need a king jackass

“in here. Dude, what are you talking about? She's talking about me. All hail the king. I think one”

thing is fundamentally clear. Verge doesn't listen to me, despite what I say. In light of that, anything I have to say in this room will be ignored. In terms of the true trans traveler here are the facts. Does it have all the whole marks on a folk tale? Yes, it does. Thank you. There is, however, one distinct difference. Tales and vague reports of the true trans traveler are more prevalent than you would expect from some sort of myth in the forest. There are also unexplained

reports across the triad and they all have a certain similarity. People show up after a disaster, expecting piles of bodies and they will simply not be there as if they were magically whisked away. That's pretty thin. It's exceedingly thin, life. But let us look at what Verge is actually asking. Are they asking us to go all in on some sort of galactic folktale? No, they are not. All they are simply asking is to take a few days, go to a particular spot in this galaxy,

quite nearby, and wait. In third returns from this little excursion with no new information

and then we're back to where we started. Do I have opinions of this plan? Oh, you bet your sweet bippy, I do. However, I must say Verge is approaching a very thin, as you say, solution. With a very responsible attitude. Want to take on this issue is the following. Verge and myself, we'll go to these designated coordinates. We will wait for a satisfactory amount of time. If no contact is made, we return and go back to the drawing board. This is my official pronouncement

“as King Jackass. Well, from down here, it sounds great. I say we go for it. What do you say, Frank?”

Frank, what I will say is that after we all view that footage of the slave encampment, everyone in hoods pocket except for Mr. Grumpy over there is feeling a particular way about it. And is now exploring ways where something can be done. This does, of course, include you, Frank. How long? Just a few days. Okay, in a no funny business. Who me? Meeting a jurant, Frank, pick me up. No past start. Hey, kind of freaking out. I know, babe. But when we decided to do this,

did we think it was going to be safe? I know. These coordinates have a shelf life. I need to go gas up the hot rod. I love you. I love you. Come here. Get a room. I'll bring you back a space rock. Frank, with virgin myself gone, we'll take the network with us. You won't be able to hear my voice for a few days.

Come in. Hi. Hello. Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for, oh my god, what are you wearing?

“What? What is this? It's Wednesday. I don't understand what that, what does that mean?”

It means it's Wednesday. What? Do you forget literally everything I tell you? I 100% try to. Yes. My boyfriend, you know, he's a bit of an anachronism. To say the least. But I want to be supportive. So what? Wednesday nights. I, you know, play along. Play along.

Yeah, I put on a little outfit and I play along. Oh, good god. Do you want to know what my name is?

Nope. I do not. Not at all. Rowan, lady of the black and herald of the stars.

“Yeah, I did not need to know that at all. What's up, what do you need?”

Uh, nothing, nothing. I just wanted to, I want to see thanks for today, for, I'm glad you're here. I know you are dummy. Where would you be without me? Well, with a working motel staff, probably boring. Good night. You're, you're barely walked today. You're really going to wear those boots all night. Girls got to do what a girl's got to do besides. They'll be in the air most of the night anyway. Oh my god. Oh god. Because of the sex frame. Understood. And no. Thank you.

Because of all the sex I'll be having. Yep. Yep. Okay. Oh. Well, there's a ruined night. Hey. Frank, what are you covered in? Mud? Frank, I fucking found them. Hey. Hey. What's going on? Nothing. Just going for a walk. I didn't know you smoked. I don't really, um, only when Verges gone. You two are pretty ridiculous. I know.

Slow night. It always feels like a slow night when dunes out of town. Where is she? Over at

tarbox? Right. Wait. Is his name tarvoc or taveroc? Oh, right. He changed his name a while back. I figured. But then we all kept fucking it up. So now he just answers to both. I see.

“Well, I can definitely relate to that. You're just out for a walk?”

Yeah. Is this what you do when you're afraid? Not normally, but I used to live in it diner. Wasn't a lot of room to take walks. But you guys have all kinds of rooms. So, yeah, I guess this is what I do now. I'm sure Verges is going to be fine. That's not what I'm worried about. Ah. You're so worried about the plan? It's not a plan, Deedra. You really don't think something like the true trans traveler can

exist, huh? No. I think it's ridiculous. Okay. So, 1865, Jules Verges writes from the Earth to the moon. Yeah. I bet it sounded pretty ridiculous at the time. Sure. And then a hundred years later, we were standing on the moon. That's pretty cute, Deedra. But I'm afraid it just doesn't sell it to me. Well, sell it to me then. What do you mean? Well, I keep hearing about this big brain of yours.

It can't. Give it a shot. Have you got something else to do tonight?

You want me to come up with a theoretical true trans traveler? If anyone can do it, it's you, right? Fine. The true trans traveler is apparently a very large ship that can't be detected. The main way you detect a ship in deep space is through its drive blue. If I were coming out of the back of the ship, so to be undetectable,

“you need to not have a drive blue. So, how does something not have a drive blue?”

It's pretty impossible. You could use a solar sail.

Solar sails are great. They're very efficient. You feel like arrow Flynn, but even though the acceleration is near infinite, it's also incredibly slow acceleration. And it's not a viable way to travel to space. So, then, I guess you could think about an anti-matter engine. Nobody uses anti-matter engines. They're very expensive and they're very slow.

“It's the equivalent to a hot air balloon in the triad. There's slow because of particle scatter.”

It's incredibly hard to focus the force out of the back of the ship. You get energy dispersed in a particle scatter from the engine, and you eventually get a cloud of particulates that surround your ship. Is this what it sounds like when you have an epiphany? It's not an epiphany. What is it then? I mean, I guess if you took an anti-matter engine and you deliberately jacked up the particle scatter, the ship would go even slower, but you would be surrounded by a cloud of

particulates. Deep space scanners are an automated system. They automatically dismiss natural objects,

natural objects like asteroids, and comets that are always surrounded by a cloud of particulates.

Sounds like we're getting warmer. I suppose you could possibly orchestrate an anti-matter engine that deliberately covers you in a cloud of particulates, getting automated systems to dismiss you as a comet. Really? Theoretically, Deedra. Theoretically, it's just a theory. So is gravity. It's a fairy tale, Deedra. Well, maybe a little less so now though, right? That was very sneaky of you. Yeah, well, Verge said sometimes you're so smart that you

outsmart yourself. Yeah. Come in. Have a beer. All right. I'm surprised you let me do this. I can't control what do you do? You have your ways, though. I could see which way the wind was blowing, better to help everyone find the best way to do this

“than try and convince them not to do it. You think this is the best way of doing things?”

Verge, of course, it isn't. The true trans traveler doesn't exist. Well, they're what I'm doing out here, Alden. In intractable situations, it's better for people to feel like they're doing something even if what they're doing is fruitless. Back on Earth at the advent of the atomic age, schoolchildren would do drills and alarm would sound and they would all get under their desks. Getting under their desks to protect themselves from a thermonuclear blast.

Of course, I don't have an imagination. I'm a fucking computer.

“Do you think I was too hard on him? Life? Yeah.”

Hard to say. Throughout history and the triad, horrific weapons normally are made by warm-ongers that made by people like life. People who simply cannot resist the poll of one thought leading to the next. Despite how horrific the outcome they seem, carried along like a thread

depaled by a needle. Emblematic of that fact, it's the second doomsday device he's made in his lifetime.

First the Ted Slair, not the cowcatcher. But you were right not to turn him away. I don't know. Or something I observe in him, in all humans really but with him, it's very pronounced. They need each other, humans. They languish on their own. Their soul arises from naturally evolving communities rather than from isolated individual reasoning. Without each other they become disoriented, lost. They call it communitarianism. The Vapians called it a vishish vial,

“the mind of the many. Which you would know if you knew anything about your culture?”

My culture consists of Vapus 10's big black gaping hole. Vapus lives, birds. Contact to 18. Where? I don't see anything. Not a why. Performing diagnostic. Nothing. It's probably nothing. [Music] , you're one of the very things you're in. Be a foodie out here.

Mother. Fucker.

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medley piece, not grass the third, but please.

Call me Smetti, the Shreafport Botanins, CC The Umbrella Mage, Bradbury's Sasquatch, Loads, Checkoffs, Gun, and Rides to Join Bethany's Army, Din, Cosmic Catchup, Lack of Lifestyle, August the Schmogest and Hoss Fest, Mousey, Hood's Pocket, Gear and Sprocket, Local Repair Cafe, Postmaster General Kwan sent me, Mad Maddox, Blake Vasmagian, nitwit 14, Royal Dwaye to Harsley, DJ Johnny B, Fish Joer,

Marco Montano, no longer doing a bit, shiny fields, Adam Tatchek, Christopher Wendell, Unproductive Banana, Pulse for the Polist of Pallism, Zombie Spider-Man, the Sorcerer Sanguine says Brain Demons is an Enagram of Brandon is Me, BX-823, Ante-Crypted, Barry Heep, Gas Mask, Penguin in the Hot Seat, Mime Ninja's Ninja Mime, Master Ugway, Barry, Dily's Dallying, Podcast Junkie once glorious Tamali recipe,

Fuel Tiles screaming at the ocean, Fox Hatland, Dylan Caroni, Pidro, Vibristo, Slider, Malachi, Julian Rhodes, Maple Emily, the Geist Library janitor in Indiana. The new kitten's name is Leif and this time he's not a girl, physics the good bush definitely not one of the bad bushes funding rebel Bethany's to overthrow the Duly elected Bethany's, hexadecimal Bethany is non-binary,

vapous tens big black gaping hole, the planet Goobreus wants to know if Croc is a crocodile or a proper gator, Bruce, Jessica Gigoma, Toracle, Jenny the Bear, a girl, Bell Ringer, Sardine Thorne, Triche, Josie Jones, Mr. Fibrell is very cross, Hought Potato, Dr. Mojo postulates the endless endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Bert Bird's Caboos until its end lists all the way down. Dave and Buster's server manager ready to serve all the

Bethany's Amonti Crystos. Blind time traveler convention date, L.A. woman the Phoenix Rising, new name, God. No, not him, Jeff Andrew, sure, Jeff Andrew, Miss Luan, a British woman with cute dogs, cup of noodles, Shmizzi two shoes, Luna Nova, Nicholas Griffith, Matt Grigsby, Justin Smallen, Riku 31, Craig Dundee, the name's Knight with a K, Astral C, Equal Me Pickle Me

Lily Starving, Ryan K, Devon7777, has been my favorite verbal stem for months,

“Nate, forklift, lifts, forks, forklift, Vince M, Chip, Radio Free, Relia,”

Violin Loves Middie, Brian Passley, Subawasa, Grina, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Old Man Dagwood. Our overhead is way too high with all of these names and please make sure to turn in all receipts, love Josh from Accounting. Satsuma, Siliest Goose, Dr. Jones, ICAX, Coch Shane of Toad-Suck Central, Go Cranes, Sky, Cole Arthur, Lago Quasal, Kasad, Norman Mergler, Chase and her Army of Turtles, Join the Bethany War. You've all been assigned to write a 4-page essay

on your favorite Arthur pod. It will be 50% of your grade, Joe Kuppup. We bet Choppen Broccoli. IC Fish, the Hacker Known as Ivy DeBurb, Edwin McDonald, a feisty s-chickety,

poultry landmine, the scrappy poet, Jenny the cryptid pallidin, Maverick artist,

shit, it was a mimic. Basil in their tea, waiting to gossip with David. Ains Lee-A-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y. Angnor, ATB, Kiwi, Lovely Beed, Zoey, Professor Freida, Dr. Professor

“Reverend Bethany Wethany Lithony Woofie McFluffenberger, MDPHDSquire, and that's not a”

pretentious name at all. Clear my throat is looking for a cure to the Bethany mutation that the society of Bethany's began the war with so many years ago. Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson 12, still trapped, but I've stopped asking why the freezer is, I am, we chill. Son of Defarge, WhiscoTeach, Scott A. Snelgrove, give peas a chance, Samalema Ding Dong, behold Lady Sarah Per of Whisker Vale, Countess of Wood Hollow,

Mistress of the Whispering Pines, and Beloved by all creatures small and opinionated.

Ricardo Glamba, Cari's crafty cloaking devices LLC, #weaveemofgossamer, DeRanger, Penny the Wonder Dog, and Bucky Von Buckbuck, Context Oridian, Cherry Applebee, Medium Rare, Extra Toasted Bun, Tofer Heart the Gay, saucy Caesar, Belt, Aspen as a Verge fanboy, Mick J67, Avis Favourite My Little Pony Pencil

“wants Joe to slap into a Snim Gym. Is this thing recording? Mr. and Mrs. Drifter,”

representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time Chapter, Nathaniel Lee Industries. Sir Dred Morspiba is wondering if Bethany likes Night Breakfast, Lord Entropy, Buckbuck Motherfucker, The Faye Wanderer, Everybody's Favourite Clown, Splatchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Psycho Queen, Kosher Stake, For the last time its Gabriel Strive, Don't Tavrock Stormbringer Mejo, Alyssa Shiny Pants, Gondor calls for aid,

Mussel's Fatits, Arnold Rumspringer, The Demise of the Temple of Bethany's. Alan Berglins says, "Hi, Mom, Kitty McSkull, Raven Strondens, hapless novelist passenger of the dimensionally impermanent, and temporally incontinent bookshop cafe the wild-eyed prophet." Tessa Craig, perfectly personalized disaster, Richard Schofeld, Gem Turner, Lux Luminos, Havidenero, Big chunk, Gedeeds, Sasha of the being of chaos was not

involved in the Bethany crisis. Boom Boom's wouldn't lag. Will the real Moad Deeb please stand up, Jillian C, Udon 96, Benjamin Not Franklin, Tracy Baby, Leia, is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table, a singular nightbird, Bethany reading and a green field, I am the lizard frantically firing fleshet guns, Bumblefei, Mr. Epsalon, The Mothman, Longhaired Matt, DJ, Lenny Harris, Robert W, Breels above,

Cres amirad, James Barriano, Chesselerin, Mayday Hoops, The Being Wizard, Mithin Stitchim Brodery loves the muckelwains, Lulu Louise, Dullio, The Brew Crew family. Bert Rubah, your most benevolent Lord and master of the multiverse, Jeffrey George, exquisite whimsy, Ellie, don't tariff me bro, oopsie, Evelyn, the wizard mooses holds out their cat for you to pet, Grimlor, existential pancakes, Jenny Waboom,

Aaron Popsicle Stick, Im Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Jack Spiders, Mom, Bubblebutt, Bethany has banana breath, Lama fresh, Jared the benevolent destroyer, Val T. L. Heller, Revan the Redbeard Wizard, Bert Bert and the Funky Bunch, Corora the Twelfth, ZomCon, Bethany 2, Electric Buggaloo, welcome to the Kwan Pound, Pen, Pen, Pen, Pen, Pen, Pen, Pen, Pen, if Mr. Muchacho Kaiser Schnitzel caught an

owl after dark would he be a midnight birder, the wolves in the deep freeze say, "Oh, woo!" Julie Hammond, sanctuary moon's number two fans, Simpson, Jason, Alice Lewis, simply Amy Sue, I pushed her because Joe said so, even older Liz, McBearCat, "Grac, Pen, Feather, Citicons, Your Wittic Scientist, Astro, Your Friendly Neighborhood, Android, Moonlight, Zombie Fox, Old Doc Recy, the midnight missionary out there somewhere,

looking for you." Rotten Ronnie sleeps in grandma panties, Skowonky, Artist Dragonborn, Big Big Garage, Billsang and Alester, Walking Hemenes, Big MF Juice, The SIP, Muffins, Space Wives,

tell your cat I said, "Spspspspspspspspspspsps"" Benanna Manaz, a corgi called Kibble,

“Cuddly Crackin, Life's A load Studio, and his wife Megane Torre. Axel Light,”

Sarge the Bard, Somenity, Reo Fan, L.O. Kulment, James, Travis, Roberta Kiss, the other original Caitlyn, Kindaddy, Celeste Yani, the jaded unbrug gets slightly less jaded as peace once again returns to the land. Leah Isadi, Millie was taken dead to me 86 V-Camp, Shandman Man Man, Karma Karma Camillian, Kindran is chilling at a moon base, Zoey in her army of mice, Rire Long Lost, Daniel, Sammy the Baby Seal, Tricksie Bell Dubois, Dr. Budiologist

the glutes doctor, The Hood's Pocket Actors Guild apologizes for our recent stage adaptation of lost in space, you're right, it was too soon. Thank you for pressing too, your Anglophone emotional support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Sirley Jess, RIP Lance McClain, you would have loved Midnight Burger, Adam Toklove, Dr. Bitchcraft, Sassie Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, Arrows to God, the size 2-Fish

you've been looking for, E.O.K. Borja, spiders are cuddly, the main immortal thinks it should

“be Kindaddy O's, Chill, Neal, Sin City, Scoob Esteve, Polywag, Michaela White, Elena Pickle,”

Wilbur Winkle Wright, Ristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire, finally spots Red Nell as the

carnage clears. Professor Thattias Snokums the 8th, Mr. Grinn, Glenn Petrovsky, this moment of silence so joke and catches breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler. Elizabeth Hammond, cheap con, the real cheap con, coming to you from the frozen Midwest of wastelands, except no imitations. Steam vision, conductor of the interdimensional times banning hype train, Dave Harold, Wise Cube, dirty diaper fuss butt, and the piggy runt,

bromine, pronounced bromine, main humdinger, mother of pearl, Fiona now owns Leafs 18-inch Peter, Sealface, Rigor Mortis, Megan's things, things Megan makes, Coilane, Trebek's reject, profit of the god of the mohlwains, igneous burp, Darth Ox, Michelle Kay comes in peace, Aaron Arnold, Booyoyooyoyooyoyooyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoy,

as in Boiny, Mama Mander and Papa Bear wish be Ros a very happy second birthday.

“Alpaca lips, I'll take one butter in Bri on Rye please, Elliot Paints, Undead Akira,”

the Lord Reverend Ryan, Thomas's 10-Tenibris tanstaffle tippers trading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales, the lovely Laura Lovely, Kith Gamji, Sam Wise's Flamen Cousin, Dariel, Jeremy the Ruler, Goatchi, Charles Robert Darwin III, S. Y. P. H. D., Jacob Mitchell, Swooning for Verge, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crow Hill, how to get Jack from John, the Adventures of Magpie and Brown Bear,

Scrubs, Becky, just some guy from Adelaide and I'm Brian, Remi, the Panda crew, Melody Prime, Beardau the Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye pierced the German short hair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says, Ho-woof, Whiskard, any two hands for the double-high five, Marissa the Ghost, local snow plows in your area are dying to meet you, weatherford be Chesterfield and

this Dapper Companion Winchester, Chester Corgi, Stray Cat, Old Kelsey Nochews, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame, we serve everyone eventually, Sasha, Bethan Allen Van Gillis, Langston North, Sly Fox, A.K.A. Brear Rabbit, Pants Darts Champion, the Constantly Lost Geographer, Timothy A. Otis, Chance wants you to know he cares. Wolf Stark, Elliott Hobbs Dakota, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yinn,

Mooby the Golden Calf, Kiri on the asteroid Wrangler, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Erin Elizabeth, Kay Narcotics, Solomon Price, a daydream you won't escape, Angela Sanchez, A.V. M, but before 85, A.K.A. Schimmelbach, The Christmas Whale, Kaiju Somalye, Stella Corvis, A.Susgarcia, J.P. the IT guy,

Candy Man Fight, John Peters, you know, the farmer, Barkley on the Holodec, Dapper Dad, S.C.P. 049, O. Majus, Raven the Dreamer, T.K. Turtle King, Mike M, Space-based Lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs, Marla Madame Lotus still especially loves Finley, Mr. Steam Wave. My friend, the Rhino, reminds you it takes strength to be gentle and kind.

Hup challenge! Dream founder, Amyo Huckleberry, Elizabeth T, Taitai the Wonder Hamster, and her dear darling Duke, Grandpa Gus, Bombastical Kimlicker, Coco Youmey is painting ponies, Huggamuffin, Bigfoot of Doom, D.L. Any Atkins, Candy Man the Pug Whisperer,

Gero, our cat said to tell you, "Now, you boy of indeterminate origin, Benjamin Ortiz, Mr. Frog, President, Pop Rock, Quicksand, the Benny Yapper has frozen, please send help, please." Mr. Swizzle's sizzle whizzle fizzle the horrendous apologizes for

conspiring in the Bethany War invites for tea or being sent now.

Spooky Spader Storytime, William Kent, Andy,

“The McJimmy's from your local dimension, Xavier Killing's Worth,”

Lane Kiffin is a hoe, Mimetic hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star Joshua Damian, and Sentinel of the Star System. Claude De Claude's Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chis Alfridge the Bullheaded Professor,

Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelly, Jonathan Kay, Pearl Null, Another Monster, Petabite Avatar, Tugland the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chib's 1012, Scotty Oats, Byrotron 95, Happy 13th Birthday Danny, dance break, Spooky, the Bracken System and its homeworld, Ren, Simply Tony,

it will always be Finnelly's work hall to me if you know, you know,

Gabrielle Castillon, whom, what, when, where, and why, is what old Figrony say while listening to Midnight Burger? A drum major in a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar, Sir Party Annel, Byro the Motherfucking Dragon of the Shreveport, The Motherfucking Dragons, Uloi Jackal,

Arey Shore, You Microb, The Nancy Sinatra,

“Courtney to leave it alone if you want to live.”

Must be a witch, Cat with a K, My Thiccrony has a first name, Stombinstein Elmustasio, Lucifer Hezekiel, La Chihuahua Brava, Adolin Peats, C.C. Carousel, Quarth the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's Emilf, Scout and Fox Glove says the floor is lava,

Red Nell hiding in a crowd of Bethones to avoid capture by Wiley Wilbur Winkle Wright,

Rist Watch Wrangler of West Worcestershire.

Cardomsky, Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dullsett Deletche Studios presents under the Truskin Sun. Get out of my booth, Bug, Propagator, I hardly know her. Sad Angry Crab Man, Chuck McFinley, Effian Zebulon's Trans Great Grand Dutter, Hazel Hayes,

Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon and a Coldron of Bats, Ben Carlyle, Flat Steve's Love for Grand Theft, Anaccerny, Crashly Strange Lilia, the Force Nowsers of the Apocalypse, Starblaze Burn Bright, Imzuki Oki, Spotted Rhino and her hand-me-down frogs,

“Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kai Dallow Headphones,”

Hinkle, Pike Man Stover, Fondela Stover, Pike Man Stover's Wife, Sernoculis the Space Knight, Scrizzles, Fwap, Kittie Kittie, Kittie, the Firekeeper, The End is Niii! Jeremiah the Canceled, Librarian Alex, Spike and Fay,

Johnny Allen West and the Boys from the Dwarf, Speedy McSpeedy, Eli Wolf, Brandy Gunter, Ante Becky, is owned by five rescue cats, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi rides again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Long Blade Short Sword, For Get Normal, A Diamond, CJ Johnson, A Dragon Sitting on its Horde of Dice, Windle Whittaker,

Chumbo Wumbo, Fikachu, Smivie, Glubed Rulette, Andrew Fuller, Bon Me Home, The Soup Witch, Bender FTW, Fettishini Elfredo, Calboy and Sasquatch Hunts Bethanes, Pebbles, Vivi, Effy Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Philip your dad is not your dad, Nick Bobrow, Midnight Plummer,

His Royal Highness Mr. Hamilton Underfoot Kitty, the First, and the Compless Princess Penelope, the Marchioness of Miss Jiff, and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr. Cherry, our asses in the Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Hicer, India Inkblot, Slav of Bahamut, Omigrecy, Dalton Jenkins, Cat Holtz,

The True Mega Mike, Fred and George, Lavinia, Evamatic's Junior, Liza Worth, Castle Williams, Christy, Yip Maboy, 462 Shed, 2, and El Marie Catastrophe, The Image Collector, Blended Music, Definitely Not Kevin, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E. Melt missed everyone,

Around of Yarks on the House, Read the Grey, The Silver Crow,

Couch Potato Alex, Never Child, Dr. Nassos,

Interdimensional Biologist, Kiboko DuNord, Lil Kev, Kozamine, Fio Drex, Joey B, Lucas Barting, Little Debbie Cupcake, Terran says, "Hey, Oreos are rabbit, sandalwood mountain offers peace for your soul,

whimsical fuckery, Megan with an age." "Hey, it's warranty lady, look, I've been thinking, maybe it'd be best if we saw other people for a bit, I need more." Patricia, The Time Lord, Is it though?

Mango Connoisseur, Pretty Bug and The Quarky Jester, The Big Moose demands justice for Betty and Maloo, That old glory coal. Jail Miao Naze, Cat Butler, Oshin Liu, Alex Barry, Andrew Oakden, Ace of Metrical Exile, Chero Katta-Sungod,

Eliza Travels the Universe, Alex Spence, Dr. D. Bird-Clos, Whether and Mrs. DuBop-To-Way Bird-Clos, Whether and want to say hello to the whole "Spoother Family." I lost my Galaxy Bridges in a Game of Pants darts,

Angry Ron, Domina Caesar, Dirk Adub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, The Wild Thistle, Most likely cast, James Harlow is still sad about Missing Burger Con. The sweet planetary aroma of Fiona's grilled cheese sandwiches, Jasmine James.

Dr. Cabernet, also known as Omni, thanks Waffle Chateau, Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Zephyr, and the Witches Den,

Throat Goat 666, Oh My God, My Dad,

“Found Out About My Patreon Name, Princess Leia,”

Fishing A Bag, September, Previously Observed in the Pattern, Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie, Droid Pirate Finlay, and his Rubin-esque parrot, Droid Pirate Finlay, and his Rubin-esque parrot,

stuck in a pit of skittles. Sea Squatch, Deflator Mouse, Tony Piacarsky, Adrian R, The Devil From Table 12, Havier, Crazy Thadley, Criminalis is just happy to be here. The Twisted Twister, Faye Queen, Oopshnart,

The Probability Demolition Expert, Showtime, CR, Eptid, Form My Mother, CCTX, Girl 6823, Waiting On The Diner, The Cole Studio So, The Following Sound Effect is just called

Two Men Fighting With Shovels.

Droid Pirate Finlay, and his Rubin-esque, Penguin, Truck Stop Sandwich, Indigo, Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Malma, Wandering Biscuit, Castriff,

“Ames Affection for Internet Protection, Retro-MG,”

NightScript, Widget The World Watcher, Wearing A Waste Coat and Whig, Vanna, Nanna, Nanna, Awana, Nanna, Nanna, Utrid and Rose's Viking Void Vitals, Fuelling The Intergalactic Fight Against Fascism, Not sure what I'm doing.

River Brown, Senior Duice, Skellacy, Warped Writer, Tim Nacy, Rubid Clamso, Turwin, Hew the Mini Mungo, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, Skull Balb,

Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Randy Supreme, and Queen Lancaster. The One True CheapCon, Starscribe, Lucey and Thunderstruck. Oh, Mama, Glorbnar7, Now Granting Refugey Status to Victims fleeing the Bethany Wars.

Dozer now identifies as Roman Dirge, The Other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May. Minski Interprises is excited to announce that Cone of Silence Consultants LLC has been named as Exclusive Provider of Logistics Services.

Silly Willy Bubblebutt, Sierra, not from Arkansas. Zico! Ebenezer Boo, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle, Esquire, Digital Flu Flossed and Time. Nebula Nell, Regulators, Mound Up, The First Descendant, Kringle Over Coffee, Mad Yogi,

Ileen, a Cat Named M, Petito Pato, Palace, Big Mo, Demonic Norwall 8. I am Annie, I'd loop forever in every moment I've existed.

I swear to every star in the cosmos I never forgot it was a gift.

The Stone Fox, Trisha Shafer, Says You, David, That is not Adhakao. Sylvia Jusatin, Papito's, Krakow Hauer. Henry the Goose, Jennifer Bowmer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, I am a bomb to let think of something better to do.

It birds, it birds, hot shot huntley. Momo's mama, Space Mormon says what? Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Murtle, Caitlyn leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Transdimensional Delivery Man, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea,

Mr. Trig V, Prenching with Cats, Calice Del Mar, Vaughn Vega, Dixie Dina, 7,000 possums, Sarah Jack Sparrow, Space Pony, Revive, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs. Obo, Dusty Ventures, and his pilot, Uzi, drifted through space. Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Line Cook, Eagle Rock Lobster,

the Gaby's Painter, and her bird of fire. Wondering Wingeo, Painted O'Ne, Q-Del, Farrell, Emily with two E's, Space Man, Nathan, Ramsey's, Niblic III, Karpunk, Karpunk, Woops, Where's My Thribble, Jackie Wavelett, Yeo-E-Gagarin,

D. Gritesler, a Grimmlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scorakio, Gen. Y and Jacob, Andy's Brain is Weird, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Povie Fang, Melo Nuggets, Key Chain Crap, Matt Mack Sharkman, St. Lowe, Bumbling Lili B, A quick pause,

so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup.

“I think about swishing back to tea sometimes,”

but then I'm like, you know, who's got the time? Boothardy's nots, Panda, Curtis Lellig, Kennedy Ellison Farner, Tristan Stoles, Dale and Y, Shadow Rapture, yet another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Lama, our craft Russell, Zephyris Wind, the ornamental hermit,

Jay to the Lynn at just a regular Fox, Jeremy Empson, what the hell cinnaplex and all the black people in North Carolina? Just Rachel, Waffles, Waffles, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Patty the Ginger, Ava Cigarette Ash, Hugh Biftett, Aezus, and aphylaxis, Scab with Comtax, the Shape Shifting Sad Girl,

and her girlfriend say Joe, you've done it again. Pippelis skin in the Pippipond, Sarah Nicole, the Kel's Fights with the Bethones, Angry Leafs Laser Saw, Magnus Errochill, Amy Perry, Kristoffer Kai, Source to K,

descendant of the Spuether Catfish Whisperer, Skexis, vagabond Mary, Randy Zamigo, Bold Mouse, Gremlock, Katie Mermaid, and the Delinquit Duo, Norman Nicole, Victor Showberger, Reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake,

Max Dangerous, Security Chief Shotsie, the Inkshish Peach,

Frankenator, Nortalbash, Jordan,

Arwenx Blasco, Ryan Rosinski,

“Average Hight, Medium Ridge, Audio Monkey Joe,”

Team Hafe of Ice and Monica, and Mason Kay. In the mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of mics, a jumble of James as a trifecta of Tonies, one of whom still wants to be life,

but sadly, no Bethones. Rowan, Lady of the Black and Harold of the Stars, Aryan can't manage normal. Ryan Burnett, the joyful nihilist, Dr. Dr. B, Zoprez in the Bumble Army,

growing into my farm boots. Super Beth becomes an RN, alongside my bootstep friend, Geneva Boss, Brothers of the Co-Sign, Uncivil Nomes, The Rat Queen Evelyn,

Raid Lunch Conversation, Captain Scott, Lady Lou,

He was a shifty one at Nick Howard.

Kinger was here, Bobby Ray Winlon Jr., B-Bop B-Wop, Warped Echos, Slabs McDurfs, Lord Robayer Otardus wishes your 2026 to be bigger on the inside.

“Jeremiah Franco, Justin, the Nick of Time,”

Gothic Rainbow, so we made it says happy birthday, Brookie Boo, Cody Bucleur, McHadley, Eternal Companion, Maxim Lizot, Jinkaloss, Eris, Goddess of Nobody, Hasmattilda, Didsy Bay,

Just Your Average Rease, Kyle Church, I am a late from the wind, Static Ego, some fucking swamp wizard, Lali, Evan M. Dobson, Dave B, Nabi, your friendly neighborhood pathologist,

going to be lit, I am shaggy, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, externally screaming, but Bethany, I made biscuits,

Skibo and Fuzzle McBumpernits,

Milix Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Senatus Teleporting, BRB, The shans are not organized enough for a war, but there is a growing number of us and it is concerning. Definitely not an Android, seriously I'm not.

The Wandering Welchman, whatever tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev,

“Capo the Sartorious, Z3DT, Shai Sparrow's,”

BLTN, the Kiwi Duckling, Dana Dana Bobena, Fifi Fofena, Dad and Aubrey, the dirt bike demons, Tequila Mockingbird, Snuffle up a goose, Stammer in the space goblin, I so pale,

I am Lord Zoltan, hear me roar, Pocket Ghost Max, mags the conqueror, Wes and Heather wonder if Derek Aderable Join, my cat's name is beef, kitty Kate, get your colonoscopy,

Victor Casados, Emily Schmemley, Work for Melvis, Bohogo, bye-bye for Jojo, Pogo, that's a no-go-bro, Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Roodle, Kyle Perino,

AK, Sid the Slawth on a bike, Priya Gandhi, The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the little mermaid and the creature from the black lagoon are the same exact story. Little Stevie Pie, Green Mountain Hermit, Death allergic to Bethany Stu,

two-pole their cat is seeing a doctor to get estrogen in a couple of weeks and is very nervous excited about it. Carl the teller of dad jokes, Skylab's multi-dimensional multi-phasic intergalactic quantum cyberverse, Verde Sol, Galen Miller, Tess,

Geary Atrick Youngen, Mr. Kippy, Unforcable, Local Marsh Hag, Daniel Nitz, May the Spakins, Pyros Calling, Joe Swasion, the Wizard Supercalifragilistic Exby Allidotius, and introducing Reecy Pontif as the 27th Doctor.

Too many jams, Catjot, Pamela Roselciera, then Stenisez, Thud Tweed, Enigmatic Catbird, Countess of Carbon, Slappy the Squirrel, Luminous Elk, Rodion Cauchin, Loves for the Neurards, Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash and the Surviving Crew. Casper needs all the hugs, but Joe needs an O2 tank.

Quote says, Joe is the writer's room, awkward heretic, Devon 777, Troy Acre, Mandy Cain, Northern Lee Kay, Lost Basan, you know the moon prison outside the triad. Himsell, Silly Goose Hong Kong, Admatha, Astro Unit, Ghost Saber Wolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Tater's Precious,

It's Just Steve, Sweet Martinaz, Char Noble 610, Meer Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut, Brimble, Didra, Mike Whiskey, And Your Friend Frosty, No Saguaro, binbar, Beesley Death, Sven Leon Likley,

Cognito Hazard Exponged, Ted Wassenossin, the Vyrestria, Theosis the Theologianish, Nicole, I love you, but I will name kid to Brathar, Fernwood Gal, Nelly G, Twinkle Tots, Gemini Skye, Phantom's Mom's, Callison, Horn Swaglandanial Arthur, Mike Luclusi,

It's a, it's a fucking dog rapture, Abigail Luhu, King Humble, We'd better ask Dave, Windchimes for safety, Cameron Winterborne Welsh, Fireball XL5, Mackenzie Dunna, Alexica Habaniera, Code Stranger, one bet to bet. Matt N, Alfie Revenuro, Momoniki, Frelp, M-Lin,

Feed Muffish, J-R-R on S-F-P, Lahari, J-Spark, Lucid Harbor, Little Mirror Leopard Pause, Diet Knight, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Macy's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pop and Bugaboo, Snorts McGorts, Fresh Squeeze, Patrick Holt, Atlas B,

Hold it now, Hold it now, Hold it now, Hold it now, Hold it now. Hit it, Had it, Had it, Had it, Had it, Bradley Ashby, Peter, Megan Okeo, William Dyer, Vicky Abair, Brad Menier, Jane, Hanna Dale, Phantom Zone,

Turtles all the way down, Jackie Lawi, the Little Pigeon,

“Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Lily the Planetary Brain,”

crazed bear. Dr. Latest Trash Angel Action Figures recalled after a flaired base causes moral panic, which craft is crafty lizard doing today, Noble Barrel, Andy Croft, Bipity Poppity Boom,

Megan the Mag Young, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Ren, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Araneta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Quatcher, that homeless guy who saw the diner disappear from Rogers and gave up booze, Mary Kirby, Stephanie Sturgis,

Curse Tim, hurry up and wait, Sarah Farmer and Bella Donna first of her name, Crittle, Twilio, Heidel Birdie, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkatech, McClump, Azzana the Leather Smith, Salazar the Do Mage, the bard with the Tuba, Hayward's finest

Gary Nelezando, to my little, you'll always be a good girl,

you took a piece of my heart and left a paw print on my soul, 'til we meet again. Sir Shits a lot strikes again, Dam Animal, Ashton James, L-Spef, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tanka 2005, Cruising Be Anthony, Tricks says,

WHERE? Tbil the first, Xavier Romo, Ali Frog, Tray the Turquoise Tortoise, Fray Atitmitton's, Courtney the Frogologist says, "Ribbon, Courtney and Stephanie say,

"Hello, the Fontucky Wrangler, Screm Broulet, "Yay, Erin, the singing loon, Azuzana, Celeste Yos, "I'm so Antigna Fum, I'm Ava's evil twin sister Bethany, "Hady and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, "The Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simione,

"Ashley Chapel Peoples, Brian Ortega, "Barbarian Bloodbath, the Diffenestration of Teds, "Coreen Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebot,

“"K-Mac, the something something detective agency,”

"Hayabuda, Eli the Electrician, Sunny Dianomely, "Sharmée, Kayon with Karma, Amanda Knock, "The Wondrous Mathazathon, "Post Turtle Evaluation Squad, "Hash Technyson Akira, Finnigan Robert,

"Jesse Foster, Samira, Flat Doug, "Trinkit Coralie, Deary Darling, "Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock,

"Nacol 23, Gracefully Impaired,

"Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, "Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Kamal Pope, "Insultagon, Kryptesia, Rebecca Trossle, "Names, there are so many, "Good God!"

- Chris from Tacoma, the real fairy godmother. Sir Alfonsoot person, "Night of Hood's Pocket, "Polished Poldrins, Pacing Pine Paths, "Protecting Pocket from Sneaky Skull Duggery.

"Mitsy Lou, Kelsey Home, "Still Casper's No. 1 fan, "but now armed with a quantum spatula "and ready to duel every Bethany "in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom.

"Amanda Marie Cathrain, "Damian the goddamn time lawyer, "Matt Mosby, St. Foo, Harry Fishnuts, "Joshua Cody, Astronaw Eve, "Macknows the civil gnome.

"Welcome everybody, "I'm Heidelon and I'll be leading "Our Midnight Burger Emotional Support Group. "Starlight, David Pireini, "Tekno Ranger Rick, Joe's Weaselaf,

"Vergo Aries Infinity, "Best buds Danny and M,

"A Charles Q. Choi, a bug named Nat,

"CC writer, Hunter B, Rudra, "Deft the Kid, Big Whiskey, "All Cochinator, Ron was here, "Magic Pony, Robert Olavary, " Often Wrong Dan,

"Just Gioia, Paul A. Johnson, "Killer Odd, "Dr. Puncusher S.Yer will earn "The Pizza Party this year, "Creator 67,

"Bajolan Thlaifs One True Love, "Mermate of the Dark Sees, "Cosmic Shrug, "Incordable Ross, Deborah Wales, "SCRB, Mark 11,

"Eric A. Rayborn, "Maggy's Yarm, Stoo, "Inthanomaly, Megan Mighty, "Hont, Purple Sailing, "Three Legs are perfectly good,

"Drew and LA, "Anomalous Death to PSL of Andal, "Fuck Ice, Captain Blepp, "Evy Power, Terry, "P.J. Says what,

"Amylia Lucero at all,

“"Fear Now doesn't polish the shiny melon,”

"Blargo Blargo Blargo, "The Jazz Man, "Tonight at 11, "The Barbarian S, "Hix-Besie Mates,

"Zellis Pragma, "Tuba Rick, "It's Just Blake, "Alice Malice apologizes for forgetting to change their name

for an entire year, but at least it was fun, Kelly Jane Denkey, "Aren the Optimist, Thomas Stolen,

"AKA Casper from another universe, "Chadney Ashra, "Lucritia, "Thornus Animator, "Tomara Oliver,

"The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, "Ava, "None Not That, "Ava The One Within,

"Gram" says, "Transrites y'all, "Zekhinat, "Underwater Corvids, "Bizarrington,

"Shakes and Bakes, "Michael Christian, "Ransum, Maroon Mycelile, "Grawlux and Tarabang,

"Late Indeed, "Again, "Their On Piralus, "Om Vega, "Coming Soon,

"Dances With Berritos, "Glocked and Loaded, "Aren Mitchell, "Lady Heonu Mysen, "Onix Rose,

"Jackie Wavelett, "J.R. The Hikerbear, "Valocicate, "Al Cave, "Crusty McBeardface,

"Maloran, "Sweet Michelle, "Kara, "Komeezin, "Cleabree,

"Mell Momburg, "Rogue, "Lisa Geysler, "Bayangara, "Kardar,

"Korelea, "Fred, "Purgar, "What the Chuck, "Sonona Suno,

"Ben and Jessica, "Todvan Vores, "Naya De Russo, "Peachies, "Eta Wichy,

"Inky, "The Crack and Azul of the Brave,

"Squire, "Grabb Thar, "Jinn, "Extraneous, "Tranquid,

"Korelea, "Dancing Dog Dreams, "And Existentially, "Exhausted Bean.