4 Money Lessons From the Stars of Selling Sunset

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I'm Nicole Lathen. The only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for somebody real. Selling sunset is one of the top shows on Netflix, and I know for some people it's a show all about real estate or the drama or the outfits, but to me it's a show all about money. And you know what, I have had a front row seat. Over the past couple of years, I've had

four cast members of the selling sunset universe on Money Rehab, Jason Oppenheim, Emma Hernan, Mary Boone, and Polybrindol. And today I'm going to be pulling out four moments from those conversations that I have not been able to stop thinking about. My takeaway from my conversation with Jason Oppenheim was unsurprisingly about real estate. But the tip itself was a huge surprise.

“Here's the thing about Jason. He is one of the most successful real estate brokers in Los Angeles.”

He founded the brokerage that selling sunset is all about. His firm has about $5 billion in total sales. And when I sat down with him, he said something that put my jaw on the floor, because I have never ever heard a real estate broker admit this. Okay, so let me set the scene for what was happening in the interview. We were talking about renting versus buying. And as you know by now, I do believe that renting can make more sense

for some people than buying depending on your situation. The idea that renting is throwing away money makes me insane. So I was ready for Jason to come for me and argue with me, but he didn't. People come for me so hard when I say that renting is not throwing away money.

It's not at all. I never understood that argument that buying. And first of all, renting is

I would argue is throwing away less money than buying. Because you throw away money somewhere. You give the bank. Yeah, you're either giving it to interests or you're giving it to your landowner. I don't think it. Why don't you just, why don't you just call the bank president your landlord? And then, and then it's the same thing. It's just, it just doesn't make sense. I do, I've never understood that. Throwing away money. I really don't. In fact, when you buy,

“you are tied down. So you actually have less physical mobility. Because if you want to move”

when you're renting, you don't have commissions. You don't have transfer taxes. You don't have to move all the furniture and goods. I mean, you'd be renting a furnished place. You're much more mobile. That is inherently valued. And it costs less to rent right now than it does to buy.

There's a, there's a psychological pride of ownership. But if you get it, if you just look at the

fight for it financially, now renting makes more sense than buying. And always has.

Unless, unless you think that the market is going to appreciate and then buying makes more sense,

“that's the only reason that you would buy from a purely financial perspective is if you want to”

leverage your loan because you think that there's going to be market appreciation. And historically, there has been market appreciation. But not as much as the stock market. You would be better off buying a house if you think that real estate is going to appreciate even 5% a year. Even, even if you thought the stock market was going to appreciate 7% a year. And the real estate was only going to appreciate 5% a year. Then you're better off buying. There are a lot of people. I would say just about

everyone. I'd say 90% of the of my clients would have been better off renting for the last 10 years than buying. Why? Because they're making no money because the markets back to where it was 8 10 years ago. And they didn't have the mobility. They had all the problems with fixing up the house and the stress of fixing up the house. And they didn't, and they have to pay commissions to me. They have to pay property taxes. They have to pay mansion tax. So they would have been better off renting

for the last 10 years. And that's just a fact. This is a financial fact. So just to sum this up, this is a real estate broker. Someone who makes money selling properties telling you that renting is often a smarter financial move. That is the equivalent of a personal trainer telling you that the gym might not be worth your membership fee. Here's his core argument. The only reason financially to buy a home over rent a home is if you believe the market will appreciate

and in a market like Los Angeles over the last decade, that that has not paid off the way most

“people expected. Now does this mean you should never buy absolutely not. But it does mean that buying”

is not the one size fits all American dream we've been told to believe. And to have a real estate goat confirm that that means a lot. Now the story from Mary Bow nay is a hard but important one. She told me the story about a previous marriage. Her now ex-husband opened credit cards in her name in secret ran up close to $100,000 in debt and left her to come home to a credit score of under 500. She had to file for bankruptcy. This conversation is so important not just because of what

happened to Mary but because of what she did next and what she spotted in hindsight that every woman needs to hear before she finds herself in a similar situation. So you guys were romantic partners and then business partners is that right? Yeah and that yeah we got married. Everything was in my

name. I had amazing credit at the time. I was like like 18 or something like that. So you had all

“start credit. I did not belong. Not by the time not relationship was over. So you guys started a business”

after you got married. Yeah he started it when we were still dating, when we were engaged. But everything had to be in my name. Any of the business purchases, stuff like that, everything had to be in my name because it was because he was born. He was from the UK. So he didn't really have much credit. You know that business folded. Can you tell that story? Yeah he took on one big big job and that one was not his fault. The guy just stopped paying. Like all of his he would just hire subcontractors

and then have him do the work and not pay and then get somebody else in. So there were a ton of mechanical needs on the property. He didn't care. He wasn't going to like sell or do anything. So he just kept doing it and so we got screwed out of a lot of money. And he took on another big job. We were able to do it. We took out of personal savings to make sure we could pay everybody stuff like that. He took on another really big job. It was like a hotel and I was like this is not a good idea.

That's going to be hard. Well that one ended up going south. Something got messed up and it just

basically took us down. It was right around that time that things were really struggling between

me and him. Like he'd become abusive at that time. So we're going to therapy and his dad got sick, got cancer and so he was back in a UK and we just decided, well let's make a move or he can go be with his ad. Restore that relationship. We can make a fresh start. My son was up for it and so we moved over to England. And you say that's when the financial control really started. Yes. Yes. So when you go over there, we had to come back and then get our visa because he told us

we would get it when we get there. But they don't allow you to do that. We had to come back to the states and then get a proof to the end and go back in. But we sold everything here.

let you get a bank account till you have a proper spousal visa. And it took about a month or two

“for us to get it. So we came back stayed with my mom Austin and when we went over there,”

we'd already transferred the money. We didn't realize and I never really got any of that money back

and he would be very stingy with it and I would have to ask for things in a took a while before I was able to make my own money. So I started working, make my own money and then in the mean time. I found out once I came back to the states that he'd also taken a bunch of just ran up a bunch of credit cards and said I've got credit cards in my name because I closed almost all accounts when I was here. I saw a had credit cards but I didn't know those were the ones he opened in credit cards.

But since we didn't have an address in the states, I wasn't being notified of anything. I didn't have an address. He just ran up a whole bunch of stuff in my name. So it started with you having to ask for human buying groceries. That's when it sounds like financial abuse started. Yeah, which oftentimes goes hand in hand with other types of abuse. Yeah, I had both. I'm sorry that you went through that. It's okay. For better or worse, I think the way money is used in relationships affects our confidence

“and our sense of control. Do you remember what that time was like when you lost control?”

And I won't put words in your mouth but maybe confidence around money. I have a money twitch. It's because of this and I physically get a twitch like where something super expensive or something I was like and I actually get it like a little like it's just a thing like that because I'm urged by it. It's a physical thing because of what it's like just like the trauma from what happened for women listening. What kind of red flags now in hindsight? Would you say that Drew showed you

when it came to financial abuse that women should look out for? The frivolous spending. Like where when you see this. His habits. Yeah, he was not responsible and he knew there wasn't that much way. He would just buy things that were so extensive or over the top where I'm like you don't need that. Why are you doing that? Unless you have money to burn. Like why are you buying something so big? And so expensive. If that's going to break you. And he was like oh no I'll just make more. I don't know.

And it would just hurt me. I was like okay that's not my money because it was before we shared

finances. That shouldn't warn me. It was just always pushing non-love just to be like he would have

just like really flashy car and then lived in this little apartment. So it's not up. It didn't. No. And it was just always trying like showy stuff. And so he would do stuff. It was just not responsible. I think those are really big science because it does it then when you guys start sharing finances. It's going to continue because that's also going to be your money. Such an important point. Yeah. I think oftentimes we justify it and we're in love and we have Rose Curric classes on.

And it's hard to see the signs when you're in the thick of it. It is. It's very hard. And I luckily have recovered from that. I keep separate finances. Like I trust your main. But I

kept separate finances from her. And I always will. We can have one joining count. But I will never

let that happen to me again. It was so brutal. And it took so long to climb out a bit. And you can't

“control somebody else. So I can control me. And I can control my kids. So that's what I'm doing.”

This is what really sticks with me. The red flags were there before the marriage, the flashy car and the tiny apartment. The habit of spending big money. He did not have. Like she said, if he does it before you share finances, he will do it after except now. It's also your money. I also want to highlight the tactical choice that she made. After bankruptcy, she started with a secured credit card with a $500 limit.

She put everything she could on it and paid it off constantly. And this is so important. She found out exactly when her credit issuer reported to the credit bureaus each and every month and made sure her balance was low before that date. That matters because your score is calculated based on the snapshot of your balance at reporting time. Now your average balance, now your payment history alone, timing your payments to hit before the reporting date can

meaningfully improve your credit score even when you're rebuilding from zero. One more thing I love about Mary's story is that she got a pre-nup before her next marriage. She said something that I want to put on a t-shirt. When you're happy and when you're in love, that's when you decide what's fair. Now the lesson from Emma Hurdon is for any entrepreneur who's thinking about raising capital. Emma is someone the internet has spent a lot of energy underestimating.

offers and outside investments deliberately. Business culture has become so obsessed with the shark

tank effective at all the VC money, the huge fundraising rounds. But Emma breaks down the flaws without a approach. How have you dealt with the CPG challenges and what should somebody who's looking

“at this base know about it? For sure. I mean, I think the CPG space in general is a difficult space”

to get into and now there's a lot of companies that are starting up and then you know they're going out of business and a lot of companies are, you know, they're raising capital right away and I think that that's fine because we're in that shark tank mentality. But a lot of times when it's not their own money, they're not good with it and we ran into that with one of the companies that came to us to go back, you know, they were getting so much money from all these investors

and they weren't allocating that right. And we were thinking in our heads, this was our money. We would be doing it way different. We'd be much more reserved like you just because you have it, you don't spend it and it is other people's money and so they ended up shutting down and a lot of times that is the case. You know what I mean? You have to treat it like it's your own money. I will say if you're going to go out and you want to do a raise and you want to get money from other people,

“you have to treat it like it's your own. But I think that's only fair. So that's definitely”

advice that I would give to anyone starting a CPG company. If you want people to invest in your company, then treat the money like it's your own. For me, I boost dropped everything myself. I haven't taken a penny. I've turned down millions of dollars from people wanting to invest because it was really important for me to get to a certain point by myself. And I have a boost dropped everything from packaging. And when I say like packaging, I am down doing the photo shoot. I have the photographer

and I don't hire a food stylist. I cook and do everything myself. So I like being hands on and I do think that that makes a difference. I love that you say that because I think that the raising money, the Shark Tank Effect, has been glorified so much. I boost dropped my business too. Yes. I put in at the time my life savings and I felt every dollar. No, it's so different when your bootstrapping yourself and everything is yours. But you care more about where the money is

“going and I think you should always care. So I think if you're going to decide to do a raise,”

I think you have to treat it like your bootstrapping it. You know what? I boost dropped my company too. I put in my entire life savings and I felt every single dollar because it was mine. That's Emma's point. When you're spending other people's money, you spend differently. She watched a company come through her co-packing facility flush with investor cash, allocating it recklessly and ultimately it shut down. Meanwhile, she's been building the same

way she was since she was a teenager, stuffing money and her stock drawer. That does not mean

never raise capital for some businesses that some stages outside investment is the right move.

But if you do take it, Emma's role is non-negotiable. Treat it like your own money. Your accountability is the exact same. Even if the check came from someone else. Now last, but certainly not least, here's what I learned from Polybrindle. Poly's financial backstory is not what you'd expect from someone on a glossy netflix real estate show. She moved to LA on a visa, went through a four-year divorce, lost all three of her jobs in COVID-19 and max out three credit cards. She is so refreshingly

honest about that time in her life and a lot of people related to it. Then she called the email Jason Oppenheim before she even had her real estate license. She got hired to pass her exam on the first try and within a few years, she has closed $48 million in sales. The moment I want you to hear is the one where she talks about what she would tell her past self because it's a piece of advice that I would have wanted to hear when I was doing my own money rehab. Did you have savings

that you were living on? I didn't. I had a lot of debt. I had a lot of debt and I was kind of chasing my tail on that and I very much was heading the sand about that for years. I was making all of the hideous financial mistakes that you probably see and advice against. I had three max credit cards and I was barely paying the minimum each month four years, like four years. And then it just increased over COVID because you weren't there. Well, they weren't. I mean, they were all

max. So I was just like, okay, well, I'm kind of fucked. I've kind of, you know, my credit score was horrible. I just, for me, I was very much on auto pilot of just like just pay, just be able to pay rent and my pet insurance. And let's talk about that. Prioritize pet insurance. Yes. My dog has had pet insurance for 11 years and I probably went without health insurance for seven of those years. I'd rather him have health insurance than paid off. I usually advise against pet insurance because it's not about

now. It's like, I don't want to jinx it. And now it goes up and now he's 11. And so I'm paying like $160 a month

and I've never used it. Do you have health insurance? I do. Okay. Yeah. So it's not like your prayer.

he's gonna break his fucking leg. And I'll be like, shit. Like, I can't cancel it now. So I'm paying

“thousands of dollars each year for nothing and I know it. But I can't cancel it because it's jinx it.”

And I just can't. So I'm like, okay, fine. So how did you get more credit on your cards if you were

max out or did you take out a personal loan or business? I never did the personal loan but I borrowed

from friends. I'm not from money. So borrowing from family was never really an option. People definitely were very kind and lent me money. So I've paid everyone back and that was, you know, definitely something that helped me a good few months there to just survive, you know. But I never gave up ever. Like, I was just kind of like, okay, like, this is just for now. And I'll work it out. I always do. Leave the shame at the door. Like, what happened has happened and there's no point.

“It only makes it worse if you bury your head in the sand if you're not honest with yourself”

about your situation. And if you're honest with yourself about that, you know, because we see people pretending that they're something that they're not and that they live this lifestyle. And when you get down to it, it's like, you're, you're going to be real, you know. Shame is the most

expensive financial habit that most people have and it only compounds over time. Here's what happens

when you're ashamed of your money situation. You avoid looking at it. You don't open the statements. You don't log into the accounts. You pay the minimum and you tell yourself that you'll deal with it next month. Poly did this for years. Most people do. And every month you avoid it, the problem

“just gets bigger and bigger and the shame gets heavier and heavier. But Poly did and what ultimately”

turned her financial life around was simple but not easy. She decided to look at the number, even when that number was bad, to stop running from it and to start making a plan. Financial shame is not a character flaw. It's a systemic failure of how we teach people about money. But the antidote is not more guilt. It's more honesty. You can't fix what you refuse to see. So those are four things that I keep replaying over and over in my head. From Jason,

the rent versus bi debate is way more nuanced than your parents taught you. The right answer really depends on your market, your timeline, and whether or not you actually believe prices are going to go up. From Mary, financial red flags show up before the marriage. Know when your credit card issuer reports to the bureaus, time your payments accordingly, and also got to print up. From Emma, bootstrapping builds discipline that outside capital cannot buy. Treat every

single dollar like it came out of your own pocket. And from Poly, try to leave shame at the door. You can't fix what you don't look out. For today's tip, you can take straight to the bank. Definitely ask your credit card issuer for the statement closing date, not your payment due date. That's the date that your issuer takes a snapshot of your balance and then reports it to the credit bureaus. If your balance is high on that date, your credit utilization ratio spikes and your

score usually drops, even if you pay in full a week later. The move is to make a payment a few days before the closing date, so your reported balance is near zero. Try to do this consistently and your utilization, which makes up 30 percent of your FICO score will drop. This means that your score will climb, and you'll also unlock better rates on everything from mortgages to car loans to

business loans. It's the kind of thing your credit card company will never tell you, but Mary and

Pony figured it out the hard way so that you don't have to.