Listener Tales 112: Vacation

Where your dad's on vacation period? What up? What up? We're gonna be talking about vacation listener tales today. Yeah, and this just felt right

“It did and it was comfy the flamingo set to me. Yeah, is everything? It feels real good”

I look like I can't wait to dance on which is probably upsetting to some some dads don't wear pants So I'm not still wearing pants. I got aliens on vacation. I love that. I'm I'd probably wear this Oh, we can say just wear that and you might try to swear it on your book tour all it's like maybe I will That's like just this they said like a as a little dress Okay, I support that and like some cute flats. Yeah, let's go. I like it. Oh, yeah, hey guys

Have you seen it have you seen the bookmark? That's the bookmark. This is the bookmark. It's not a bookmark It is the bookmark. This is the bookmark. What about and then you can put it in your special edition of the book Which you can pre order right now and look the blood continues to drip and it drips in the line

“Oh wait, you can even make three blood drips. That's what that's what I did wrong. Yeah”

Look at that leave that on your coffee table. Yeah, in this bookmark She's hard. She's sick. She's not gonna break you not gonna lose her. No, she's shiny She's pretty this no, my dog eats my bookmark. So yeah, you're probably probably can eat this and if they do you should go to the vet right away Yeah, but if you pre order the book if you pre order the butcher legacy this book then you will be entered to win one of these

There's a bunch of people that are gonna win some of these and it's you just have to end to end the link is in my bio You just have to enter proof that you pre ordered the butcher legacy to your receipt, you know that kind of thing You got that and then you'll be entered automatically to win and they're really cool

They're really cool and this special addition is something I'm really excited about because I finally have a special edition

And you don't get a box that soon heads will roll. I would like the box as far as I'm concerned So maybe I'll get a box that I'll get a box that we got we got a special addition we got some some art Let me see you got some art here We got some art. I like it. We got some we got some annotated chapters and

You get to see a lean as handwriting. I'll show you too much

“We there's lots of cool stuff in here and the spray digest. Do you know my favorite thing about you it one of my favorite things about you?”

You have like the bubbly as handwriting for the spooky a squirrel You have like girl in eighth grade passing note handwriting because I was a girl in eighth grade passing notes Me too of course. Yeah, I'm actually so mad. I used to have a box of all my new Two, but I don't know I mean and we to fold them yeah extra special way yep Yeah, you fold them until like triangle sometimes. Yeah, we got real fancy with it

Oh, those were days. They really were I was oh my god. I got in trouble so many times passing notes I think we all did here we are so we're gonna do some I think we got our business down right Yeah, it's time for the listener tales which are brought to you by you for you from you and I'll about you Let's do this. I feel like we need to make like dad puns if we can and like dad drew Yes definitely some dad puns and dad joke. John's really good at those we should have invited now

I should go every now and then I should call him and just tell him to give one just feel like yeah Cool. I'll do that I was gonna see like Yeah I'm just gonna do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll go. Yeah

No, we've been very long enough. I don't know what's up. He's there. I was gonna say Call him and say we need your help but then then he would say I'm dad He's like you know when you're like I'm hungry and he's like I'm dad I need to help dad Shit. I'm like really tired. You know we're here. It's summer. It's summer. It's almost full

It's coming. All right. Let's read this first one. Shall we? Yeah, we should have called. I fell in a bug twice

You shouldn't do that. I should even do that one. No, you shouldn't. Well, let's see. Hi Ashibaly enough. Please note

Y'all are the best and I love the support and encouragement y'all provide to women. Thank you. Yeah I don't have y'all agree. It's a support each other as someone who struggles with MDD major depressive disorder Sorry. Thank you for all the time. I'm gonna take my class off because I can't read with them Really? Yeah, I'm too old for this. It's like nice. I don't like the big light and there's like a lot of lights in here

“So I think this is my new solution. It's you know, it just it like blurred it for me. All of a sudden I was like whoa. Yeah”

Sorry about that. Thank you for all the times y'all have been there for me during my low points. Oh well, always be there

Y'all's commentary never fails to make me laugh and feel better Which leads me to my next thing. Sometimes y'all say that you're gonna be called out or y'all that for mispronouncing or using an incorrect term. Yes, yeah, but please know your fans wouldn't do that or even bad and I or give a fuck Fuck the haters who complain and seem to have some sort of superiority complex Yeah, they ever started a beyond successful podcast. Are they being forced to listen to morbid?

I'm going to say no and no Maybe they should be forced to listen every episode until they can come to appreciate what y'all do You both are so loved and adorned and we adore you right back. Can I goodness? Okay, on with the story. I was listening to the bog episode and thought I should tell you about the time I fell in a bog. Did you fall on a bog body? Oh shit in 2023 my sister and I took a trip to Scotland for her 40th birthday

We don't go to Scotland soon. I might yeah, but literally let me tell you this trip was a doozy We both have ADHD and traumatic childhood. I'm sorry, which means we strive and we strive and chaos

“Intend to be two common situations other may panic and find alarming. Maybe that's why I freeze”

Maybe like I'm not like running. I'm just like you're just like here. We are Dearing headlights. I won't go into everything but the trip was a doozy. Let me set the fur at the stage of our journey Day one our flight gets canceled after sitting on the tarmac for over two hours Due to a blizzard game and a soda weather day two what's the we successfully arriving Glasgow But our bags do not all that's my worst nightmare. What can you do? By this time my sister is angry

I only mentioned this because we went to pick up the rental car and the man asked if we both plan to drive and she wasn't too keen on answering So I answered that I would be the sole driver. I should mention this trip with was us driving the entire perimeter of the country But the woman needed food and I couldn't falter about so off to Edinburgh We drive with two fluorescent yellow bracelets on each risk that's a left side given by the That's actually really smart actually a smart given by the car rental point placed to remind me which side of the road to drive on

Along with the promise of our bags to be delivered at some point in time. I didn't know they did that That's really smart that would fuck me up still even with the bracelet. I don't get it left I'm not good at left and right and I just feel like I would hate it like see I think it would help me No, no, I like I think the bracelet would help. I would just hate the fact that I had to drive on the other side Like I don't think I could do it yeah

With day two starting off with a bang we decided to go explore the city since we didn't have luggage to drop off at the hotel We parked the car. We packed the cat and are walking around when we noticed a group of people gathered on the sidewalk

As we approach the first thing we hears an EMT say yep looks like antifreeze

And up a woman oh no had died on the sidewalk after ingesting antifreeze now I grew up being taught that you don't stop to watch car accidents or emergency situations because it causes Uh, it causes getting in the way or another accident so on we continued passing right by the dearly sad deceased I believe this it causes getting in the way Once I got my sister fed we headed back to our hotel where our bags had arrived

“Yeah, we go to our room and as we're getting settled I look over to her and said remember that time we saw a dead body”

Both of us burst out laughing to clarify. We were laughing at the fact that we're so fucked up from childhood That we don't know how to properly respond to react to crazy events. That's completely okay Yeah, but the deceased woman I do sincerely hope she has now found peace our world is shitty

And you never know what someone has endured to lead them up to that point halfway through the trip

We went to the highlands where we stayed on a wonderful at a wonderful cottage owned by two sisters who had just opened the day prior one day We decided we wanted to see the fairy pools I want to see them one of our sisters told us to go to a spot a few miles down the road and walk through the forest versus the place all the torsco That meant we would get to see the prettier pools frequented by the locals so often we went after surviving a One-lane road on a mountain without any railings covered in potholes and meant to for traffic going both ways now. We finally pull into a small parking area

The hit so it was next to the forest. We get out of the car and notice many articles of clothing laying around

We noticed there is no path. We were legit going into a random slightly dim dense forest

“I look over and happen to see a sheep love as my witchy woman nature loving self. I tell my sister. We should follow it since I'm convinced it'll lead us to water”

Do the arts after a few yards and I go to take my next step and I fall right into a mother fucking ball I love that because you were following a sheep he fell into a ball. That's really ash coated to be honest Bailey He said that sheep will bring us somewhere and to be fair. He did lead you to water He just didn't tell you which one

He didn't he didn't say what it was coming in asks. So my sister started coming for me and I yelled don't you dare take one more step or we will die in here Oh god, I happened to be wearing my favorite flittle jacket and took it off and threw it at her

I then decided I would try to move forward since I was only cut since I was only covered in bog muck up to my glove

So my god However as soon as I moved I started to sink and my sink I meant that at this point the bog was up to my tits Not bog water up to you Oh my god my sister is dying left That's that's a sister Which was making me both laugh and sink even

Oh my god you're gonna drown in a ball Season broken branch and grabs it for me to hold on to as she pulls me out What happened next you ask my shoes new rothy sneakers of I'd have there's still you and underwear to say Did they want it to live in the bog white the bog took you around to win Oh my god the bog's preserved things I guess in the future people

They want to discover these cool shoes and the magical thing known as you They'll be like what honey But back to the story we were laughing so hard as we took stock of what I've been stolen for me and what we needed to do now

“You do you literally don't have pants around to ruse on anymore like what do you do in that's it?”

I got she has the flannel but since we didn't really have any options we took off running to the car Once at the car the realization hit me that I could not get inside with bog shit covering what little clothes I had Oh my god since the seats of the rental car were fabric I already knew I had scraped against one too many curbs and hit one too many Potholes so I didn't want to risk having to also pay for the interior damage as well My best option was to take off the rest of my clothes and leave them next to the discarded ones

I mentioned earlier just have to drive naked. That's all just bog clothing I drive us back up the mountain road completely naked we make it back to the cottage We also I feel like these locals pung to you because it's like let's see who has to drive home naked I think they do that to people yeah good for them now we know yeah So yeah, you're naked we make it back to the cottage and my sister says your naked and other people are staying here

Do you want me to go grab you a shirt? I respond that I will not allow the bog buck to ruin anything else so I hop out of the car and take off sprinting to our room I should mention that our room is an unattached cottage from the main house. My sister goes in the main house To grab extra towels and notices the two sisters and a few guests huddled around the window They turn around and ask did you just sister just run by naked? She responds. Yeah

So she fell in a bog

Apparently they had never heard of such a thing happening to someone so lots of laughter and many questions

Followed or they have it as a lady my biggest concern was for my lady parts I didn't know what the fuck that bog was already preserving and I wanted to be clean eights up Yeah, I shoured for a solid hour hour and a half and then took another shower as soon as the hot water returned He h is a serious thing once done my sister asked how I knew that she shouldn't take a step towards the bog to try to reach me I responded that wasn't my first time

She loves so hard that tears were streaming down her face with me quickly joining in because you know what what else could we do but laugh Though I now live in the Midwest I'm originally from and grew up in the Appalachian mountains So I have many spooky experiences. I'm happy to one day share yeah definitely Anyways stay weird and don't fall in a bog Don't fall in a bog

We I want to know about the other time you fell in a bog

“I need to know about that. It was it in Appalachia are there bugs in Appalachia?”

So many questions. I mean we have bugs. There's like cranberry bugs. Yeah, bugs some bugs But they have babies. Yeah, oh bog spiders. Yeah. Yeah, it's a no for me. That's so fucked up. I don't want that Okay, our next hill is can't stop won't stop must stop rest stop damn obsessed Hey, where it was my name is Daniel and I'm from Daniel. Hey, Daniel. I'm from the middle of nowhere in upstate New York Currently living in Maryland getting ready to move to Colorado. See Nicholas knew he said don't try and you'll say too much

We're getting married next weekend. Oh my god, congrats. I'm currently listening to your show drinking a pumpkin

“Spice espresso martini and writing my vows”

What a wonderful combination. Ha, that's lovely. That's the most beautiful combination I've ever been in my life. I figured I would take a break from writing my vows and tell you about the most Ronchian counter. I've ever had spoiler. It has a good ending and I tend to use the the word ranchy a lot So you'll know why I love this already. I have been a huge fan of your show for a while now Shout out to my best friend, Avalon who got me hooked on it. Oh my god. You and Avalon have a long have a long

Hell yeah, and I've been hooked ever since. I just finished the Albert fish case. Oh and boy did I need to shower in bleach and holy water after hearing about that About what that old saggy shit eating monster acidy did you know he literally looks like a crossbreed of Esma and Dennis Raider. Yes, fucking Dennis you're correct. He actually really does fucking Dennis any who you're probably Wondering where this story is going with the title such as this well ladies and listeners hold on to your butts And if by any chance you do end up reading this I do apologize for the length and wrongchiness of the story ever feel free to edit anything

You deemed too much or unnecessary. No, I want to I'm too espresso martini's in and I got to get this memory off my chest. Oh, I love when people separated into parts Yeah part one can't stop won't stop rocking to the rhythm. I've added that for you I was driving home from New York on a stretch of highway after Christmas one night and there was nothing ahead of me But a stretch of highway that went for a good 100 in something miles until reaching a somewhat populated area It's late and I'm starving and I need to make it home my morning so I can get a few hours of sleep and make it to work

For my afternoon shift, but I need food so I decided to stop at the next sheets. I come across

Sheets you say it eats I never heard of sheets

I don't know about you, but there are some gas stations that have really good coffee and I love me some sheets coffee

“I honestly would love my coffee through an IV any how I go in I order a coffee and order a chicken”

Sammy with some extra boom boom sauce hell, yeah because that boom boom sauce is the awesome It sounds awesome. I want to go to sheets. I'm devouring the sandwich of my car with the cashier Steering at me through the window as if he was watching an animal at the zoo. That's judging so I stared right back at him while eating the rest of my sandwich. Hell yeah, it was intense and it was awkward and I loved it I even licked the bottom of the booze off my wrapper just to grow some out even more death. I'm obsessed with you

Finally after satisfying my hunger and need for entertainment I decided to get back on the road

Part two must stop this is perfectly set up. Am I are you gonna poop? All right ladies. I don't know if you've ever had sheets As booze. No, kids. I have where sheets boom, mooms all sorts of germs, but it's probably the most delicious Solson existence. I could eat gallons of it. Anyway, about 15 minutes after being on the road. I feel this sensation in the pit of my stomach

“This worries me because there's nothing but open road ahead of me. Now I could completely understand why sheets”

calls it boom booms off because after 15 minutes on the road boom whatever I in the last two days fell from the pit of my stomach straight until I ran tested. I knew I was in trouble. Thankfully, I saw a sign that that red that red rest off 10 miles ahead. So I didn't what any rational human being would do. I undid my seat belt to take any pressure off my waist plunged the booty and prayed to whoever was listening that I made it to the rest stop and time. I was clenching so hard my ass was literally

about six inches off my seat. I looked like a fucking semicolon driving down the highway. I prayed for Jesus to take the wheel. But the way I was driving, his ass would even be in the car. Part three, rest stop. Note this is about to get crunchy or proceed with caution cautious. After about five minutes

and 30 hillmarries, I finally pull into the rest stop parking area. I noticed there's only one other

car there, but this place looks like it hadn't been cleaned since Eisenhower's office. That's horrible. I swing my door open and lock the car and run to the bathroom. Thank god no children were around because I was dropping travel before I even made it to the door. I swing the door open and run to the closest stall that was open. Suddenly my soul was at peace. What my body was erupting like melt the soup. I blast. I made it blacked out for a second. When I was too out of it to tell,

after a few minutes I finally gathered myself. I noticed that there was another pair of legs in the stall next to me. He too was having a difficult night as there were interesting sounds coming from his stall. After a moment of listening I could just hear him laughing. Did you have the boom boom sauce too? I asked, nah, my wife's chilly. I could tell from his voice that he was an older man. The explosions hit us both and we were laughing so hard at our current situation. Here I am. Here I am

playing battleships with a complete stranger and suddenly the door swings open. I see another pair of legs walk into the stall next to the old man further down. I wonder if it's John Williams coming

but silence from the stranger in the far away stall. Dang, I heard the old man say,

“do you have any toilet paper over there? I'm all out over here, dang, and dang. I chuckled and saw”

that I had a few rolls in my stall so I handed one under the stall to him. Suddenly, I heard the old man gasp next to me. I asked if he was okay and he didn't respond. I started to see his leg shake violently and started to worry. I kept asking if he was okay, but he didn't respond. I called 911 until the operator. I was at a rest stop and the old man is shaking violently in a stall. He asked where I was and I told him which rest stop I was at.

I tried keeping the old man calm and tried to get him to do some breathing exercises. I would have gotten up and helped him, but unfortunately, I was not done yet. After a few minutes, I could hear cars pulling into the rest stop parking lot. A paramedic burst through the door and starts knocking on stalls. When he gets to my stall, I panic, hoping he's not going to burst open my door. I tell him the old man is in the stall beside me. He opens the door to the stall beside me

and silence. Nothing. I continue to hear more doors opening further away.

“And suddenly, I hear the paramedic say we're going to need a structure in here.”

Oh, what the fuck? I'm confused yet relieved that they were helping him. I finished my business and mock out of the stall and see a young man on a structure. I promise I washed my hands. What happened to the old man next to me? I asked. There was no one in that stall, but we defined this young man a few stalls down. It looked like he was shooting up in there and he ODed. They said he was going to be okay, but thought they need it. That's good. He's going to be

okay. But they needed to get him to a hospital immediately. A police officer asked for my statement and I told him everything that happened, especially about the old man in the stall next to me.

They searched the rest stop again, but they never found anyone else.

The other car in the lock along to the person working at the rest stop. Funny. He does a shitty job at cleaning this place. So it's literally the police officer recalled that an old man named William did die in the rest stop a few years ago from a heart attack under similar circumstances. After hearing that, I was super confused about the whole situation. I honestly couldn't wrap my head around it for the longest time. I'm not one for paranormal situations, but

this is by far one of the weirdest things to happen to me. Did the ghost of this band appear to me so that I would get help for the kid that overdosed in the stall further down? Oh shit. Yeah,

“that's what I thought. To me, it was something extremely strange, but honestly, something I truly”

hold dear in my heart because I had a great encounter with this old man and he was so nice and funny. He somebody that I truly would have wanted to get to know is a person. Every time I drive past that

stop, I always stop and leave flowers, a role of toilet paper and a packet of boom boom sauce on the

lid of that toilet. Oh shit. I didn't know you were going to put it in the tail and in the stall of the old man that helped me save that boy's life. I just got chills, Daniel. Well, there you have it. Sorry. It was so crunchy and detailed, but I wanted to make lightheartedness of a sad situation. To me, laughter is the best medicine in this memory is something I really do still laugh about, but also reflect on. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story. I hope you both have

a wonderful day. Make good choices. Stay away from boom-oom sauce and always take a chance and make friends with strangers and other stalls. Law, love you, Daniel. Daniel, that was bonkers.com. That really was. I want to know. It was so heartwarming. It was heartwarming and heartbreaking. I want to know everything about that old man. I love these guys just had some moments together. We didn't love that. You went full-doubt with your sunglasses and put them on the back of your head.

Like, could them into the character even though they can't see it? That's right. Also, you're right. It's hard to read. It's hard to read. Yeah. Yeah. My old eyes. All right. This one's called Ghost Simple Patches. Oh. One thing about me. I fucking love a pimple patch. Oh, there's so good. Do you ever use a pimple? I feel like you don't. No, I don't really. You don't really acne anymore. No, I didn't. I acne enough in middle school. Yeah.

To last the lifetime. I didn't acne. It was like you, you paid your death. I acne like a little bit in middle school and high school. Like, very, very minimally. And even still, like, I don't get pimples that much. But when I do, you get a white head. You put that sucker on the next morning. Gone. That's crazy. The mighty patches in particular. Yeah, sponsor us. I know. I'm going to hold on to I'm stocking up on some of those because the girls are getting to the age. And I

want to be prepared. Well, now kids love to walk around with like, with the stars on their faces. And they look adorable. Oh, yeah. I'm like, I had to live with my way ahead. Trust me, it would have been nice. Yeah. What a bit nice. I'm glad they have it. All right. So it's as high. My name is Tova. And yes, you can use my name. Hey, Tova. We're jumping right into the sucker. I love that. I love that about you. This specific story takes place in

San Duski, Ohio. Wow. I travel for work frequently staying overnight in hotels,

before during that first day. Every light in my hotel room turned on in the middle of the night.

You don't think me from sleep. I talked it up to a loss of power and subsequent subsequent generator kicking on. So that was the only odd thing that I had to occur during my first overnight in the hotel. Fast forward two weeks. And here I am again at the same hotel. Imagine my surprise when I see that I'm also a sign in the same room number. I want to go in keeping. Go to hotel smelled strongly of chlorine. Though I originally thought that the source to be was a pool on the

first floor wasn't it emanated throughout the entire hotel. Someone died there. It was so overwhelming that I had a near constant nagging headache when I was there. Yeah, that would fuck me up. Yeah, it'd be great. It was because of this that I decided to open the window in my hotel room despite it being 58 degrees that night. It was I turned off the window unit that was inevitably recycling the nauseating smell and allowed the cool breeze to fill the room.

Tuck this bit of information away for later. Freshers for dead people. Tucked. I am a complicated sleep girl. Any source of light will result in a fitful night of rest since my secadian rhythm apparently has a deep obsession with staying on schedule. This night I proceeded with my out of town ritual using painters tape to cover the clock on the microwave, alarm clock, etc. At my mom is like that. Like I said, bitches obsessive. And I used the hangers in the closet to

close and fashion together than window curtains. I fell asleep around 20 that's 98 o'clock.

“I think I can't do that. I think it's eight o'clock. With the clocks in my hotel room covered,”

it's hard to say when I was a woken the first time, but at some point I woke to hear

door knob gently turning back and forth. I am a side sleeper and I'm currently facing the door to my hotel room. I see no shadows underneath my door and observe that my door knob is still. I brush it off as coming from my neighbors door another overnight or down the hall. My conscious brain has survival instincts. My sleep brain doesn't know. I fall back asleep and again, no woken by the same sound, back and forth, back and forth. Still, there are no shadows or

shadows or movement. My sleep brain is now pissed. Frustrated and thinking it might be the kids who were loudly playing in the room next to me all evening. I turned over and fall back to sleep. The room next to you is empty. I'm telling you. I think so. Now, I want to preface this by saying that the events in the next paragraph happen quickly and the span of maybe like 10 seconds. But then I back to the door. I'm a woken again. But this time the door knob is not turning gently.

“It is being violently shaking. I think that back forth, back forth, back forth and then silence.”

Suddenly my entire body is filled with a feeling of absolute dread. The hair on my arms and

next standing. Every alarm in my lizard brain, blaring or warning. The second strip by when I feel

like a bed. When I feel the bed decompressed behind me, you read that right as if someone were trying to get into bed with me. Heat then fills the space between the back of my ear and neck. Someone is breathing on top of it right now. And I'm screaming, period. I throw the covers off and reach behind me to turn on the bedside lamp. But in that split second of staring into the darkness before light filled the room. I see a man standing in the hallway of my hotel room and in front of

the door. The moment light fills the void, he's gone. What? Oh, actual fuck. I was not a popular person that night. Several neighbors and overnighters on my floor rushed to my hotel door after they heard the screaming. Being woken up at 3 a.m. by hysterical 30 year olds with pimple patches wearing a pretty privileged t-shirt had the lock questioning their children. And I'm obsessed with

“you. I tried my best to explain, but was met with wary looks and so do you want us to call the police?”

The police were not called. And I, and reluctantly, I returned to that room. After I regained my composure, my right brain put her on her big girl pants and attempted to reason her way through the night's events. But I was lucky to have the following questions. One, none of my neighbors heard the door knob. So what did I hear? Two, I had turned the window unit off and opened the window to a 58 degree night, but I distinctly felt heat on my neck and behind my ear. So what did I feel?

Breath. Three. Lastly, I eventually worked up the courage to turn off the lights again and examine the dust chair, lamp, etc to determine if what I saw in the hallway could have been a trick of my imagination. But that hallway in the pathway to it were completely empty. That's fucked. So what did I see? My husband believes it was a night terror. My mom believes it was a demon. Her fault. And my mother-in-law believes it was a ghost. Also, what do you think, ladies? Keep it

weird, but not so weird that you develop a fetish for scaring 30-year-old women wearing pimple patches in the afterlife. P.S. Oh, and here's photos of me in my beautiful husband. If you do me the honor of actually choosing this story, I cannot wait to surprise him with it. Today's

exciting moments of my life. It's because you know, I'm chill. P.S.S. I am not in the least bit,

chill. So I loved that. I love that. I hate the story, though. I think that I think ghost.

“It was it. I think it might have been a name. You think so was it was it the door rattling?”

Yeah, it's angry. It's Yeka. Some ghosts are angry. And he was like breathe in hot breath on a hot breath. Yeah. Ghost don't have hot breath. That's true. That's a deep development point. Diamonds have hot breath. Yeah, I don't know. We just have paranormal activity. Yeah, I barely had a restful night sleep since also quick little side. No, aside, if you have not or if you've heard of paranormal activity like the stage play, yeah, and you haven't, and you're like, I don't know.

No, I'm not kidding you. Go. It is one of the best things I've seen on stage. I think it's incredible.

It's terrifying. And it's so fun. Never. It's not a net. It's not a net. I've never been more scared

of my entire life. Yeah. No, I'm serious. And I want everybody to go see it because I think it deserves like all the hype. I keep seeing people and it's like the perfect way to describe it. People are saying it's the closest they've ever been to like being immersed in a horror. Yeah.

“And I accepted the lights on that night. I really did. I didn't. Honestly, it's been tough for me to”

sleep since. And it's one of those things where you not sure how like a play can be that scary. Yeah, I didn't know what to expect going into it. Go give it a shot. It's well worth it. So fucking good. We're actually going again. Not an act. Yeah, not an act. Because that's telling you to do it. All right. Next lesson. That was awesome. I think it was the time. Yeah, you know what the more the more you said. I felt compelled by your argument. Maybe to oh my god. Wait, you. That's the most

beautiful couple. I've ever I'm sorry to anybody else who's ever sent photos in. You guys are so what the fuck you guys are those gorgeous couple I've ever seen in my life. That feels like a I. You're a I pretty holy shit guys are gorgeous zooming in. Look at these faces. I did look he's been to your your men's chest. Oh, and you're oh my god. Look at him's 10 drill done in that head of hair. Yeah, both of those heads of hair. My god. Wow. Holy shit. Okay, Tauva. Wow, Tauva.

Your husband. Holy shit. Okay. The time ago's took my body for a ride and not in a fun way. He didn't literally was just writing something on his notebook and then he went. I like and not in a fun way. And not not. It was not in such a wheelchair wondering. Good morning spooky hose. My knee has kale like the vegetable but with a sea and you can use it. I'm writing this from New York City. It feels a little frantic. I legit almost got hit by a car while walking my dog on Broadway. Like hands

on the hood of the car pushing my dog out of the way and asked how like I was about to work. My juicy ass for all of our limbs to see. I didn't do that because it would have caused an earthquake. And we don't need any more buildings falling down in this city. The 12 awful in the car blamed me. Even though my light was on, I shook my fist yelled back and begged him to hit me to get me out of the

“same same time line that we find ourselves in. Are we screaming into the fat into fascism? Who knows?”

Okay, so I've been a fan for of your podcast for five years when I started delivering for Amazon during COVID. Oh my god, COVID was that long ago. Yeah, I know. This must be an older email because it was six years ago now. Oh shit. A wild timeline. I don't have math. Thank you. I also have a book. I also think I'd just see you both that part's noble and union square when you were launching the butcher in the ren and I still have my signed copy on my shelf.

We'll be back for the butcher game. Yeah. Get your ass there. Come back. I've had a really hard and long five years and listening to your podcast has really helped me out of those places through your banter and the bond to my sister and I have since we both listen and talk about it. Long story short, I graduated college in 2020 with a music theater degree.

Literally went home for spring break and I never went back to school. Last all my jobs I'd

lined up in the industry. Since theaters shut down, then moved back to my college town, got a dog, met an emotionally manipulative man. Don't we always move to New York City with him, married that manipulative man. Had some really, really hard family things happen. Divorce that manipulative man because I want strong battle. Yeah. And I'm now living by sex in the city, young divorcee lifestyle in New York City. I hate most of that for you,

but I love who you've become. Well, financially I'm struggling TM and I'm chasing my dream of being on Broadway. I'm single, post my photo on your Instagram. So hot men can see me. I love you. I love you. Divorce is extremely hard, but I was strong enough to stand up for myself more than I ever have in my entire life. Good job. When I was sitting in my empty apartment,

Alina, you being so open about your past relationship really helped validate me on how I was being treated. Also, there is an incredible podcast called Navigating Narcissism by Dr.

“Romani that is absolutely incredible. And I think everyone should listen to it.”

Hey, good to know. I know a lot of narcissists. Yeah. Shameless plug. Yeah, we know a lot of them. Shameless plug. I also have my own podcast with my best friend called Queer Insight, where we talk about all things queer. We're smart, but mighty and it

always come and always welcome new listeners. Come party. Hey. Yeah. We'll come party. I want to come

party. Oh yeah. We're here. We're queer and she's an ally. An ally. Okay, enough about me. My want for attention and rambling. I wanted to write in and tell you a wild story that happened to me in a haunted hotel in Chicago, Illinois. Oh, let's go. I always want to say Illinois. Illinois just looks that way. Okay. So to set the scene every year, there are nation-wide auditions that happen for college theater programs. They do them by region. One of those

regions is the good old Midwest where I grew up. You. The Midwest region auditions were in Chicago in a hotel called Palmer House. How have we covered Palmer House? I feel like that's familiar.

“I think I, I think I may have picked that one. I'm gonna look it up. Maybe you did. I just”

remember hearing about it. Attached to this are a couple photos of the Palmer House. Clearly,

we need them. It's absolutely stunning with a really cool history of many performers who have performed there. Louis Armstrong, Eartha Kit, Frank Sinatra, etc. Since it's an old, since it's old in historic, it's haunted as hell. I think ghost adventures didn't episode there. It could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure. What's that they did? I'm sure they did. If it's haunted in America, they've done it. Our college would allow a few students to join them to help run the

auditions and chat with parents and prospective students. The way I could not say the word perspective, it's hard. I would like to spit it out. It ain't easy. Prish perspective. I'm also trying to zoom because I too am old. Now, I am very charming, funny, sexy, and nice. So I was

a real perfect fit for this. Let's go. I love you. Since the divorce, I'm trying to be more

confident in myself, my body, and my personality. Although this came off stronger than anticipated, but I'm going to leave it because, yeah, you absolutely should. Nicholas, just said, sure. Sure, sure. They're also good. Get down with your bad thoughts. You're typing you up. You know what, my, I would say? Beboppelupa, baby. What's the Boppelupa, baby? And that means get down with your bad self. In Mollig. In Mollig. I went there with three fellow students. We got food and money every day.

They're food money every day. Not food and money every day. We got food money every day. And we got going to downtown Chicago for a week. I love Chicago. Chicago. Chicago. My best friend lives there and I miss him daily, but I'm happy he's so happy in a city he loves. Similar to me in New York City. It's so hard to live here as the city tells you to fuck off in a daily basis, but it's really as an energy here. We all stayed in the same room, which was just really fun, and some of that food

money may or may not have gone towards some alcohol as well. We were there for a full week and had extremely long days. One of the nights we were there, we started to experience some weird things happening in our room. The room was pretty big with two queen beds, a TV, dresser, bathroom, closet, etc. I realized I just described what a normal hotel room looks like, but you got it. My friend, we'll call her Hannah, was getting ready for bed with the dresser drawer open.

This was an older dresser. That doesn't have the tracks on the drawers. Like you pull it out and it takes some force to close it. It had been opened for a solid 20 minutes while we were all just watching TV. Out of nowhere, the drawer just slammed up. We all stopped and looked at the drawer. Hannah, did you close that? I asked. Nope. Hannah responded. No. All four of us sat in silence as Hannah opened the drawer once more, and it very slowly closed in front of our eyes. The hanger on the wall

just started to swing back and forth. All of us were just straight staring forward, stunned in silence. One of the other girls with us will call her Jamie, said to the room, "We're sorry we're in your space, but we don't want you here. But we don't want you here and we're going to bed. Good night." While I love that, she was like, "I know we're in your space but you can't be in your space. We don't want you here. Good night." Okay. Jamie, that was brave. Jamie, nothing else happened for the rest of the night.

The next morning we were all telling our professors what happened the night before. We spent a good 30 minutes sharing those stories with one another over brunch. That sounds fun. That does sound fun. I'd like to join. Not much else happened the rest of the time we were there until the final night. After a very long week, we all decided to head into the hotel bar for a few drinks. Now, I only had three drinks. Three. I am a thick guy, and my last human German means intoxication.

“So I can hold my alcohol. I was tipsy but not drunk. I remember everything from not night. That's”

important to know. We had a great night, paid our check, and had it upstairs to get ready for bed. We were all very tired, so we settled in quickly and went to sleep. When I woke, I was walking

Could not see. Thank God I had closed on. And I had locked myself out of the room.

“What's crazy about this is that in my mind, I was questioning what I was doing, but I couldn't stop myself.”

Like, I was questioning why I was doing, but my body was just walking. I also had to pee, like legit, so fucking bad. In my mind, I was like, "Oh, the lobby has a bathroom, knock on our door until someone wakes up, et cetera, et cetera." But my body was just walking and couldn't stop. What the fuck? I started going up the stairs and ended up two floors above where our room was, so desperately trying to find a bathroom. Desperate times call for desperate measures,

and I went into a stairwell, and pissed in the stairwell of this haunted elegant hotel in downtown Chicago. Like, did you get root feed? Does it kind of feel like that? After the emptying of my bladder, I started to think a lot more clearly and decided to head down to the front desk to tell

them I got locked out of the room. I still never thought about going back to the room to knock.

I went down to the lobby, blind as fuck at 3 a.m., and talked to the front desk. It talked to the front desk telling them I was locked out. They looked at me strangely. Little did they know what I just did in their stairwell, and they told me security would meet me up there. I waited outside. They let me in and required me to show ID, which I did, and then they left. I went to the bathroom again and looked at myself in the mirror. I can't explain it, but it felt like

I almost came to while looking at myself in the mirror. I then crawled into bed and went right back to sleep. We woke up the next morning as if nothing had happened. No one in the room woke up while I left and came back or anything like that. What I told my friends what happened, they were all shocked and confused. We came up with some theories. Theory One, I dreamt the whole thing. My friend said maybe when I looked into the mirror, it was me realizing that I was dreaming and it was just a

lucid dream. It explains going to the bathroom and the dream was just me going to the bathroom and real life. Oh, maybe I could see it. Theory Two, I was just super tired and alcohol mixed with how tired I was and fucked up my body. Maybe Theory Three, my drink was drugged. Yeah, I kind of think so. I'm going to worry about that. Yeah, I feel like it was. Now, I know this is really scary to think about and made me sick thinking of all the what ifs. Yeah, but I was at a table with college

girls and a really busy hotel. We all about the same drinks. Maybe the drink I got was meant for one of them. I have no proof, but like why was I so confused and such? Mm-hmm. That is a really scary theory that I try not to think about. It is possible. Yeah, especially knowing that you were

“at a table full of what your college was. Yeah, I, that makes it more and more. I think it's the most likely.”

Yeah, the fourth and final theory is that the ghost who was hanging out in our room decided to take my body for a ride. Oh, they could do. This explains the utter confusion and not being able to control myself and seeing myself in the mirror was me seeing my body again. Oh, shit. Could be, I do not know which is the real theory. And for seven years, this has confused and haunted me. It's still really bothers me and brings up uncomfortable feelings thinking about what could have

happened, especially if I actually was drugged. I've never had something like that happen again,

so I just don't know. Maybe I was drugged. Maybe I was dreaming. Or maybe I was taken over by a piss-filled ghost. Ready to unleash their pissy raffle in the city of Chicago? You know what? I think that was it. That's pretty fun. Yeah. I like a pissy raffle. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Another time I'll write in about the haunted movie theater I used to work at in high school where the doors would slam. We'd hear people walking around, see people sitting in seats that

weren't there. Would feel like I was being watched constantly. And one time I saw a little girl walk across the lobby with long black hair. If you're from the ring. Yes, please. Right about that. Damn. Thank you for reading. And thank you spooky bitches for bringing joy to my subway rides and making me more aware of my surroundings. Keep it weird, but not so weird that take it away, Ash. Not so weird that you're just trying to get away and have a good time with your girlies and

either your drink is drugged or you're overtaken by a ghost who really wants your body to pee all over her hotel all over her hotel. Yeah. P.S. I am a tour guide in New York City where we do historic sightseeing and food tours. And I would absolutely love to take y'all on one. Oh hell, we can be besties and talk about our dogs. I will attach my tourist company website to the email as well as some photos of the Palmer House. Myself and my goal just dog. She is so, so, so cute.

But don't let her look full you. She's a fucking dick. I love her so much, but she's an asshole. I was like, Bailey. Oh my god, that is so cool. She was such an asshole. Oh my god, you're all that, that's gorgeous hotel. I wish it's where we've come from. I'm looking at that old time. You think they've been covered in? Oh my god, you look beautiful, so handsome. Holy shit.

“Oh, is that your head shock? Is that's a really good head shock? Why is everyone so beautiful?”

Look at that dimps. What a ball. I would kill for dimps. Let me see. I'll buy quad and love your dog. Beautiful, but I love your dog so much. What a beautiful baby. Oh, another picture. Oh, you're just so cute. She's moving it on you. I love it. Oh, you had to eat dog. You had to eat dog. Oh my god, look at all these pictures. I love them.

dads forever. We are. All right. So we hope you keep listening. We hope you keep it. Weird. But not so weird that you don't bond vacation with your dad and have an alien flamingo good time.