"Sandra Bullock"

Okay, so this is the secret to a peanut butter sandwich.

I don't do the jelly, don't even start. I get the knife and I stir up the peanut butter

“and then on the bread, you have to wipe it all the way to the edge”

and you put the other piece of bread on. You slice it right down the middle. Don't do corners, don't do fours. And then you wash it down with a nice cold glass. Smart less, welcome to Smart Less.

Smart. (upbeat music) Jason, I just got a phone with Amanda. I can't believe you're in the airport for 18 hours. Is that right?

Oh, yeah, it wasn't fantastic. I believe-- Before you start, I can't believe you got off the phone with Amanda. Okay, go, Jason. No, that was 19 hours.

The plane flight to Iceland was just 18. Oh, we were on the beach and what happened? 'Cause it was delayed. It was just a delay, yeah, much weather in New York in that meant we couldn't take off from LA

and then there was a layover once we got to New York and you live in these are all, no one's complaining. You know, we're out here, we're living our dream here in Iceland. And Iceland. You know, I believe you're there.

What time is it? Right now, it is 430 in the afternoon. Are you exhausted? Yes, yes. But you know, I've got just a big foolish nits.

I'm ready to go. Oh, yeah, I've got to go. Yeah, I've got piped into some great Icelandic stuff. I'm doing so great all these stuff. Oh, it's just everything's white here.

So it's just like, give me a bag of that. I can't tell. You can't tell. Let's wet. Yeah, no, I'm up for it.

I'm into it. Wow. I'm glad you made it. Yeah, how are you guys today? All right.

Will is not run out of gum. This is great news. I'm trying to keep it quiet. I'm trying to keep it quiet. You know, they've got lasenges and I think some cream.

They've got nicotine cream. I know. Is that nicotine gum for real? Of course it is. No, I've got the pouch in.

And then I use gum 'cause I need to kind of cut it with the gum. Sure. So you have a pouch, you have a pouch in your mouth and got a regular gum, regular gum. A regular gum. That kind of cuts it for me.

What do you mean cuts it like makes it less, less powerful? Yeah, and just like the taste of, because you get a little bit of like some of that that I don't really enjoy. I'll do a glass of water and a glass of apple juice. And I cut the juice with the water.

'Cause sometimes the apple juice is too strong for you, so it is. Yeah.

“But do you find that if you drink both that your pull-ups get full early, like you have to”

lean. My adult pull-ups? Yeah. Oh my god, Sean, I just love him so much really. He is a teddy bear with a heart.

He drinks full of, a whole milk, right?

It's always, no, no, it's, it's, it's usually skin milk.

I'll drink whole milk, but it's usually skin milk. What's different from skin milk in 2%. Well, the skin, the skin tastes a little, the, the whole milk smells a little funny. It's, it's in a taste, a little too thick for me. Sure.

And I like a milkshake. With whole milk. Yeah, and I know that. But what about, but 2% versus skin, do we know, is it just a different name for the same thing?

Well, it's less fast. It's like half. I think it's like a step between isn't it? It's less fat. Well, which is less, that skin milk is zero fat?

Oh, really? Yeah. 5% leaves still leaves a little bit on top. Has not been fully scammed. I think that's right.

I think that's right. Yeah. Listen, are you still with us? Yeah.

Also never understood why.

And also never certain, like 1% 2% is it really that much different, like, 1% difference between 1% and 2% is in that much in life. Well, 2 is double. It's an effectiveness of the cheesecloth.

“What do you drag across the top of the, uh, of the tin pale?”

Did you be upset if I, uh, had t-shirts made that say I like milk drinks? No, I would, I would, I would wear one. Okay. I would totally wear one. And on, on back, can I print, um, skim me, um, skim, skim, skim?

Hey, I went to the Hollywood Bowl two nights ago, was gorgeous. I think I will. Well, Sean's got a bit. Hold on. So I had no bit.

No. No, but other than I, I was there literally two nights ago. And I was listening to Bize and like, Carmen and stuff. And I looked up at the stage and like, we're going to be there October 17th. And I was like, it didn't feel that scary.

Like in, in my mind, it's scary. But then when I was there, I was like, okay, it's a little less scary. But did you, did you turn around and look at the crowd? Yes. See, that I knew.

Yes. They are perspective. That's what I get scary. I know my stomach dropped a little bit then.

Well, I hope there's more than just friends and family sitting in that big, huge, uh, boy.

No, you hear that. They will be.

“Listen, or get yourself a ticket and just help us out a little bit.”

Because it's going to be, it's going to be scary and it'd be less scary if there's friends. October 17th. Um, guys, right, and you're going to be less scary today because it's somebody we all know.

Sorry, wait. Just remind me, so I don't miss it. When, when should one do I need to be at the bowl? What did you do? October 17th.

October 17th. Yeah. That's a Saturday. That's a Hollywood bowl. So if you're coming from out of town that you have plenty of time to get there after

work Friday, you know, you can come Saturday morning if you want. If you want to drive. Yeah, sleep at our house. And then, if you're coming from the, even coming from the East Coast, you've got the time difference.

I mean, you leave on a 90 in flight, you're here by noon. Yeah. It's a three hour, three hour net difference. Yeah. What if the three of us slept like old people, Charlie and chocolate factory in one

bed, one big white bed, a head? Yeah. Oh, God. If we ever do another doc, that we got to do a shot of that. Yeah.

All right, guys, my guest, you're going to love this person. Okay. You already do. You already do. You're going to.

She's very close to us. My guest today, she spent 12 years taking a piano lesson. She says she hated every minute of it. Her mother's work kept the family moving back and forth between Virginia and Europe.

She left college three credits short of graduating and waited tables in New York before eventually took her before her, took her, dreams took her west. Oh. Whoa. Came back.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Is it? Wait.

What? She wants to check. I got the laugh. I got the laugh. There it is.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. It's five legs between them.

And she turned it's definitely sad.

“I think she still got the one with her legs.”

It's Sandra. We love her. We love her. Sandra. Sandra.

Right. My own life. I heard the words. I heard the words. I hear.

That's Sandy laughing. That was the worst intro ever. Sandy. You guys. But here's my question.

I was listening to you guys, could verse. Do you guys really? Is this how you guys speak to and with each other? No one else is listening. Are these subjects that you just covered like milk fat content?

Think like that? No. Just that bad. Somehow we thought this might be worth monetizing. Yeah.

Is that what you're doing? You're sort of putting something out there. So you get a little Sean. Sean's the only one who drinks the milk in this group. So you'll get the free cases.

Organic. Right. You prefer organic? Well, yeah. I don't want to know what's non-organic look like.

I mean, talk to me about that. It doesn't have the smell. Sean, do you do your own grocery shopping? Sometimes I hate. I don't like grocery shopping.

Do you order online or do you go? No, I go. I don't like grocery shopping. Stopping for gas or I'm doing the dishes. Let's see if you're being a normal person.

Yeah. You like to have staff doing all the things? What do you want? What do you want? Private or not?

Yeah. Jewels. [LAUGHTER] Like gold bars. [LAUGHTER]

Okay. But I guess he's honest. He's honest. He's not trying to be humble. Right.

“That's why I got an electric car, so don't stop for gas anymore.”

Now, Sandy, you--

Yes, I think it's always impressed me about you.

Is that you're a great, big, huge ass star. But you get out there with the people. Yes, you always get out there with the people. You don't care. You don't care.

When you say, I don't care. What do you care about being stopped? You can't be. You can't be. You can't be.

But about engaging with the public and people saying, hi. I love you. What do you do? Are you standoffish? No, no, no, no.

But I mean, we know people mutually that I think have our-- Our-- our-- our everybody's famous as you. But feel like they might not be able to get out there and into it. I mean, I can think of-- Does it ever say that they don't feel like I'm in my safety?

Well, but you've had your brushes with things that are unsafe. Yeah. They seem to come to my house, so it's my house. That's what I say. Yeah.

Sandra Bullock, where are you right now? Hi, Katie Petiti. I'm in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Oh, oh, you look so pretty there. Yeah, I love it.

It's so great. The kids are on the water. They're fishing this way. I love that. Last year-- by the way, I listened to the--

Your previous episode that you did for us. And years ago-- Why don't we talk about-- I know, so we-- Well, I was not--

I was not mentally there during that show. So I don't even know-- Five years ago. Yeah.

So one of our first, what, 50 episodes probably?

Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Why was your head not there? I forget, Sandy.

Because it was the whole brain thing. The whole-- Yeah. Yeah. I was going to get there and--

Yeah. And had it's whole-- I don't remember anything. And we were-- And we were coveting, too, weren't we?

Yeah. Some were probably. Right. Yeah. He talked about me.

Yes. Now, do you-- Well, I'm going to jump ahead. First of all, hold me. Before you go too far.

Is that a legit shelf stock behind you? Or is that just for cameras? Because it's fabulously stocked.

It's just like--

“No, but it feels very curated and nice mess.”

Nice and nice. Yeah. Well, I got little grogoo right there. I see that. Is that Paul Smith?

Oh. And it looks like they're Paul Smith. It looks like they're Paul Smith. It looks like they're Paul Smith. Now it's a--

It's a-- And the Emmy on the other side. This is from Adam Driver. This is-- I don't know what that is.

That's an Emmy. Oh, that's an Emmy? Oh, that's an Emmy? Oh, that's an Emmy? This is a--

It's an Emmy fact. It's coming through and he's coming through right now. You want to check the fact of it. Wait. But I think you've corrected us before.

That is only one of your Emmys. This is correct. They're all one of them. I can't pan. What do you--

I know. Have you forgotten how many Emmys you have? How many do you have? I don't care. We don't have time.

Oh, God.

It's just incredible for you.

Yeah. But, you know, the sad part is nobody knows who won anything ever. Okay, so-- It's true. But they know what you were.

I was going to wait, Sandy. But I'm going to go back and get everything else. But let's get into practical magic, too, because I just saw it. You'd be because Sandy's a friend. And I got a link.

And I got a little secret, something. Oh. And it was-- I-- Bocking. Love that.

Did you really-- There's our code. You're not just saying that? No, are you kidding? Well, first of all, I'm this nerd.

I like fantasy, sci-fi. You know, that kind of stuff. Harry Potter. I can tell when she's lying. He's not lying.

No, I love that so much. And I love your performance. Nicole, Diane Weaset. Stock or Channing. Yeah, all the--

I can't remember the real one. I can't remember the real one. Joey and Maisy, yeah. Oh, good.

“Do you recommend rewatching the first one before the second one?”

Yeah. Well, you don't have to. You don't have to. But there are some callbacks. Yeah.

You got to be some callbacks.

But if you've never seen the first, you don't.

You can pick up. And the first one was like-- You know, it wasn't like a massive gigantic hip, but then it became one later. It became the whole thing.

Yeah. And so it made sense to do the sequel, because it's like, oh, it's really cool. I loved it so much. I loved it so much.

I loved it. How long did you guys wait in between each one? I mean, a couple decades. Yeah. Wow.

I mean, the-- when the first one came out, we were eviscerated. We were by the-- Oh, really? No.

It was. How many women do you need in film? You know, how many tones do you need in film comedy and draw my end magic? And like, it was a slight--

I found myself crouching down by the end of the junk and you could just see. I was like, this is the cliché. Oh, it's true. And then you could just see that way.

We thought we were doing something really original and meaningful and not until like-- And it turns out you did. We did, but for the audience to find it, we needed social media.

Yeah. So they could find each other. And all of a sudden, through social media, everyone found each other than generation after generation.

Like, you know, my generation grew up and then had children and they watched it with their mothers and their grandmothers with their kids. Like, kids that are 10 going, oh, my God. It's my favorite move because I watched it with my mom

and my grandmother. And it's like, we don't get a lot of multi-generational things like that. So that's the surprise to me and all of us. And last year, last year you were--

You were telling it. You had to tell everybody that. Every Sandra Bullock Instagram account was fake. You had to let go. No, that's fake.

That's like, I've been 14 months later. You grace us with your presence in Instagram, which is super fun for people like me. That's a friend of yours. And everybody else to see what's up.

And it's great. It's a great tool. So only 14 months ago, did you start Instagram? No. Like a few months ago, I started Instagram.

But like about a year and a half ago, I had to because there were people that were using my name and likeness to scam money out of people saying, my sister would have people reaching out to her saying, "Your sister took thousands of dollars from me.

My bags are packed. I'm meeting her." Like, and it the harm that it was causing. Yeah. Families going, "We don't know how to not tell this person.

It's fake." You know, and I would have people call them saying, "It's fake. It's not real." So finally, I had no intention of ever going on social media.

Like it's not. It wasn't my calling. And then once I did that, it stopped a little bit, but it doesn't really.

I mean, it's just never ending.

Yeah. The stuff that you've had to deal with, and handle, and come out the other side, and you're just, I mean, I don't know how much we're going to get into on this one, but I just, it's just, you're spirit.

It's just so commendable. It is. I just love being close to you. Yeah, you're one of the strongest humans I know. Yeah.

Not even men or women. You're just one of the strongest humans I've ever known. And you're going back to the movie. I think, yeah. Yeah.

What's that? Is it, thank you, I think? Yeah. It's the Biceps, mostly. Is it?

I'm working on it. I kind of let myself go to the past six months of front of a computer with this film, and I was like, "What has happened to you?" I don't even know.

“But I remember you being out in London the same time.”

I was doing Good Nios, or you were shooting a practical magic, too. And you came over.

and I'm then seeing the movie to see all the work that you've done,

and all the great work, and it's shot beautifully. Anyways, can't go on and off about it. But I love the whole idea at the center of the movie, that the Owens women have this curse, where it's a great, like a rule, or whatever,

“where a falling in love can mean losing the person they love, right?”

It's a great metaphor for a lot of things. A lot of things. And so I don't want to give anything away, but one of my favorite lines in the movie that you say, is you say, "I'm so happy you're free to love now, free to love exactly the way you want." And then notice that I lean towards Maisie when I say that.

Yes, I love that. And that made me think about something you and I talked about before you came on. You told me you're ready to talk a little bit about Brian, and I know some of the story and some of it. Well, I'm feel safe to talk to you guys about Brian.

Yeah, 'cause it's just us. No one says it. It's just no one else says it. But it's safety. Yes, very, it's true.

And it relates to everything we were just talking about. And Jason was talking about, "Can you tell me a little bit about that relationship? What became difficult toward the end of both the relationship and sadly, Brian's life and how you reconcile those difficult parts with loving someone so deeply?" Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's a very deep, great question. Yeah, and please feel free to say as much as little. Of course. You're right. No, absolutely.

No, totally. The way I look at it and it's not so much looking at it is I know that this is, you know, there's a reason for everything that sometimes there's not. It's just horrible. But what I, where I sit now, what I have now,

I would not have to share had I not gone through that. Yeah.

I would not ever want to go through it again, though you never know.

“Life, you know, is like life is, it's tricky.”

But I wasn't allowed to speak about it. That was the request and I tried, I honored it. Which is his illness. Yes, he asked me not to share. And I have my, I know why he asked me not, and it,

it isolated me in the process and plus the entire world was locked in with a pandemic. It was literally like the final diagnosis, even though, I mean, he was ill for half of our relationship. And the diagnosis came almost at the same time with the cloak of the pandemic. So as the pandemic came down and I have a child with severe asthma,

I was panicking. And then we were trying to navigate all the tests because with immunatrophic lateral sclerosis, you, or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, people waver on how they want to say it, which is a neurological disease, where your signals just stop.

And the acronym commonly known as ALS. ALS. Yeah. Look, Eric's disease, yeah. You don't go, oh, you have these symptoms, you have ALS.

It is literally like the process of elimination over the course of a year and some, where you keep going back and they give you all these milestones, these things to do, these grips, these breaths, all these things, what's happening because ALS appears in different ways. His was not hereditary, which is, I think, a huge sigh of relief.

But it was about a year and some of watching it to see what it is. It could have been this, could have been this, but what I saw, I knew it.

“I knew it, and you have to quietly plan.”

And I'm a very good planner with illness. And because my father was ill, and he was had horrible accidents, and my mother, I can't, I feel like I'm very comfortable in a setting where somebody is ill. It doesn't scare me, not the illness itself. It doesn't scare me.

I can see and be around just about anything. But I had two young kids that were navigating, especially a little girl who saw him as a father figure. So with COVID and all of that and being asked not to talk, and I wasn't even allowed to tell Amanda, I wasn't allowed to tell anybody.

My sister was the only one who knew for a while.

And it first, I go, "Oh, I can handle that, I can be quiet."

But it really, it really, it's not having the help outside of, like, Merrick Kutko, who was the head of Mass General over in Boston. She oversees all the trial drugs. I was able to find someone to find if he could get on the list of the trial drugs. And we thankfully, the privilege that I have is we got there.

To at least be a service in this process, because the outcome is final. One day, it won't be final. There are some who are living with ALS still, that I've only now discovered after Brian's passing. Because I didn't dare go on, you know, my finsta and look at,

You know, because someone will say something, because it's because of my job. It's kind of like cellulines. I have a curse. I walk with this curse that knowledge is payment for somebody. It is information that is valuable.

“And so I, that's why I keep very isolated.”

Because I don't want to harm others because of what I do. So I think not talking for a while was good. And then when the physical illness was then coupled with the mental health aspect of things. And it's something that people don't talk about. And it doesn't happen to everybody.

But it was a trifecta that was pretty dark.

And I had incredible nurses.

Like the guys that were like four big brothers in my kitchen every morning. I knew what they ate. I knew they all like banana bread. I knew their allergies or likes or dislikes. You know, and we became students at the same time. You know, while trying to keep the kids away from it or not away depending on whatever they wanted. And I had an amazing child therapist who dealt with terminal illnesses to sort of help guide me with each.

Both of my kids are very different. But the kids were aware to a certain right? Oh, completely aware. Absolutely aware because eventually once once there is a situation where you're bedridden. You know, it's it's we all have to go there.

It's like it was in my house and I did my best to set up whatever I could. And I am lucky in that I had the means to pay for it. You know, yeah. We'll be right back. And back to the show.

“Sandy, what were those conversations like if I might again, to the extent that you're after way?”

Yeah.

Were those conversations like with the kids when you first sort of say, hey, this is what's going on?

And how did how did you prepare yourself to approach them? Well, they could see they have eyes and they are very, very astute kids. Very astute because they not only see the physical change. There's a behavior that changes and all of us. You know, I'm hyper vigilant.

I became manic. Like in my vigilance because I had to not only make sure he was okay. I had to make sure we could keep the nurses because anyone who's had the privilege of having in-home care knows that the cycle of nurses and I found them during a pandemic. And I found four men that were strong enough because Brian is six, two, two, twenty.

And that is an anomaly. I don't know how. I reached out to one doctor that I knew. And I begged her, I said, please do not tell anybody.

But I need help in finding this.

Don't tell them. I'm looking. You know, it was the most covert CIA operation known to man. And I got very, like we, you do lose nurses, especially during a pandemic. And the understanding that I now have of caregiving.

For those who are in the caregiving position, they are left alone. I had, I had no idea what to do. I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know who to call. Then there's pain management.

And you should do it all on your own. Yeah, because the caregivers need care themselves. Yeah, absolutely. And I am so grateful to them. But there is the, the, the toll of mental health.

It was both for me and absolutely for Brian. And most importantly, the kids. And so when I would bring things up to them back to your question, well, it was when they asked, and when I could see them see it, and ask them what it is that they want to do in this situation.

“How do you want to handle what you just saw or where you are here?”

And Louie handled it very different than Lila. He, um, about two years before Brian passed, it was, he saw it was a dynamic that wasn't healthy for him to be around. So he's very evolved. He's like, you know what, I'm here for you.

I'm here for, you know, he sort of, I didn't want him to become the man of the family at the age. That's not my job is to be both at that time. And I want him to be a kid during a pandemic. When everything is already fucked anyway.

And people are suffering everywhere. So me asking for help. It already, I felt the guilt because everyone else was already suffering. Um, but he, he chose to just sort of be there and support and help me on the things that were easy, but he smartly disengaged himself and said,

this is a safer space for me to set. And I said, absolutely, you go, I got this. Um, Lila on the other hand was more bonded until about six months out. And then she says, I, can you please say no when they call me over to go visit? And I said, absolutely.

And I said, but if you do want to go visit, I will come with you and I will be right there.

So how do the kids avoid the situation living in the house?

“Like how do you, the way that my house is,”

I was able to sort of wall off a whole section and make it a different entrance where it had an outside garden and all these kind of things where, because I wouldn't let anyone in and out of the house without severe COVID tests. There was a whole, no, no family was allowed to come unless you are over it. The, you know, the hotel for two weeks because that's when it was.

It was the two week thing for the long time. And just to make sure everyone was clean because I didn't want, I mean, a respiratory, you know, illness would have taken them out. I mean, to add that on top of this, you know, what you're dealing with already in and of itself,

the pressure and all of that stuff in the kids and trying to manage all that and and Brian, etc. And then to add that unknown. And of course, none of us really knew what that was when it was happening at the time. And everybody's, now we sort of look back and we're all Monday morning.

Oh, that makes sense why she was great. I think it would look at my skin. I'm like, I am now great. No, but, but I mean, that is, that is your, your juggling so many big ticket items at once emotionally,

that, that, you know, the idea that you, on top of all of that, that you're duty bound to not express the, the pressure that you're under and to not be able to have an outlet for that, whether it's your good girlfriend's like Amanda or whomever and go, hey, this is what could just sharing that with another human being,

relieve some of that way with some of the who loves you. Yeah. Yeah. And I just didn't want to get them in trouble because I didn't, I just felt there was this black shroud over me going,

if, if my curse, which is the minute I say something about this, I don't want anyone else to be blamed for something. If they didn't, you know, they wouldn't have said a word. They didn't end up saying a word once I did, I remember where I was like, we,

we had shot loss city. Long time. Long time. It was fun. It was fun.

Wasn't it great? I love that. I love that. I love that. One of the funniest things.

Joanne is sparkly jumpsuit, you know, and the hysterical chanting and Brad doing is the favorite.

When you pull the leaches off his ass in the second day.

Oh, my god. First day. First day. I had no problem with that. Uh, yes, sir.

Morty. He's okay. He's okay. Um, but I remember we were editing. Um, and it, it was, it was, it was already in a, in a bad place.

And I was in this room upstairs. And I had the monitor and we're editing. And, um, Amanda and Jen were, and I don't know why we got on a call for something. And I think, um, if I look back on it, I would say it was Amanda and Jen going, we need to spearhead because we need her to start talking.

And we need to talk.

“I think Amanda had, I don't even remember anymore.”

But I remember they came on. It's a mixedie start crying. I saw their face and Jen's kitchen. You know, her little desk and her little kitchen behind her,

where we always all, we all get our food.

And I just saw them because they didn't really speak. They just got on. They were like, hi. And I could tell. And I was just like, it was relief to go.

I don't care what happens at this point. I need, I need that. And it was, it was amazing. And, but I did panic once I did it because I was like, and I said, I hate that I'm having to say this.

But I have the fear of God and myself that if this gets out, I can't follow through this journey and take Brian to where I know he's going. And where I know I can take him. And help him. Or help him.

And help him. So it was, you know, the most important thing were the kids. Period. What was the, what was the thing behind? I mean, again, if I may and we can cut it.

Why was it so important that you were under this sort of this gag order, if you will, to not say anything. That you'd have to ask Brian.

“But I think where he was in his journey, both physically and mentally.”

I started grieving Brian four years before he passed. Like something I said, start grieving now because I knew I would be the caregiver. And I could see like the, the bright eyes that I knew, literally. Like you say, you know someone through their eyes. And there was something that had shifted.

And I go, it is a traumatic diagnosis. Anyone who can prevail through a diagnosis like that. I, I bow down, bow down.

You know, my mother had cancer, we always had hope.

You always have hope that there's something, you know. But I could see that there was a darkness in mind. You also, you know, he'd been sober for 14 years. And you need medication. And I'm like, I don't give a shit.

Give him what he needs. It's like the man is suffering. And so the selfish part of me, my person.

I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

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I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

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I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

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I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

You're going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. The thing with my journey with Brian is that I didn't stop feeling guilt for as a mother with my kids until I'd say about a year ago, oddly. There was things that I didn't process.

I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't think you were there enough for them. Because it happened.

Because it happened. And then someone said to me, you know, if you believe children choose you, they also choose this journey. This journey is for them as well. No way.

Okay. Thank you. Thank you. That's sort of took a little weight on my shoulders, but you is a mom. You go, I'm sorry that this happened, you know, and he had his family.

Yeah, because think about how much can be put in front of them now with arguably the higher life for the lining. That is not going to knock them off. That's a great balance. You guys got really good at this.

You guys are like really going up now. But it's true.

“And they can, and you, yeah, because you can kind of go two ways with it, because I think”

that there is. And we live in a world now where we're able to talk about stuff and maybe a generation to go or more things would happen. It would be traumatic. And you don't deal with it.

You don't talk about it. You don't talk about it. Right. That trauma sort of services in other ways. But we live in a world now.

And I know the way that you are in talking about, we're talking to your kids and being open, you give them such a better chance for this to them. They're super powerful. That's right. If you weren't, I grew up with a very strong mom.

And because of all my trauma and all the bullshit that I grew up with, if I didn't have a strong mom, I wouldn't have been, I wouldn't have learned how to navigate life.

know, may have gone in a different direction.

But they are steadfast, like they're on the right path because of you. They, they know who they are. That's a great book. But I look at my kids and I go, we had dinner last night with three of Louis' friends and they were just talking and I go, he knows himself so well.

“Because I said, what, what is everyone grateful for?”

And he says, just to be alive, just to have this life. And I went, oh my God, you know, and Lila's fearless in being who they know themselves to be versus their mom, who's only come to that. I'd say, in the last year and a half, two years, just sort of now I can stop in life. And I now look back and I go, wow, look at all the shit that happened.

Yeah, but think about all the things that they've been able to observe you handle, because I mean, I think, you know, as good a parent as we try to be and the things we try to say that are smart, it really is so much about example. They really pick up so much from just watching. And they're thinking about the stuff they've seen you go through.

Yeah. And I don't know, but you both are, but there's so, as Jason said, there's so lucky to see you go through it and to be, again, to be open and set that example, that's going to just help them to grow even more as people become great people. And isn't it an interesting at this age, like, to continue to feel like I've been saying

to some of the other day, I feel even more now than ever, I feel like I'm just firmly in the student section. Right. Right. It's like, I'm just learning.

I know. Fucking crazy. I don't know anything. I said the other day, I'm a recovering know at all. Yeah.

It's great. That's your viewer, you were, but now you're not done. Thank you. That's my sister for my birthday, gaming this beautiful little pewter box and it's said, Leonardo DaVinci, a quote by him at like 87, he says, "I'm still learning."

“And I went, that's why I think, I'm glad you said it, because I have just such happiness”

in my chest. Yeah. Other things can frustrate me. This can upset me. I get pissed off.

I get petty. But there's a, I'm so happy, and I feel like I'm a kid for the first time in my life,

as I'm seeing things that I've seen a million times before.

But now I see them with such, like, a love that I didn't have before. And it's just, I, you know, yes, I have a great there, yes, I think I did the right thing with the kids. I did usher Brian out the way a human being deserves to be ushered out. And I didn't take care of myself then, but I so take care of myself.

Now, there was a moment when I just wasn't feeling great. I'd gotten COVID after we did the press, and I was like, oh shit, what am I going to do? So I'm in a room above the nurses where they are, and I'm bubble wrapping myself and running. Because I still had to cook dinner for the nurses, you know, so I mean, all the kids go away

and I'm bubble wrapped and I'm, you know, in the room service, and then I just didn't feel right afterwards and I was like, you know, as a woman, I'm like, something is wrong. And I said, oh my God, if all this dress gave me like cancer, I'm going to be, that's when I'm going to get mad. Not anything else is that I'm going to be pissed if I made myself sick.

“And I remember being the doctor going, she sees me coming all amped up and wrapped and bubble”

wrapped, you know. And I said, if I'm okay, I swear to God, she goes, you'll take care of yourself now. And I said, yes, I swear to God, I will. And when she, she called me up, she goes, you're fine. And I was like, newly saw life, you know, and it was seeing your own body breakdown, sort of

was the, the big messenger. Yeah. And you like it, you got like a second chance. Yeah, totally. Totally.

Oh, that's so great. We'll be right back. Now back to the show. You know, Sandy, it's so funny that you started, but early on, you were saying that, you know, I, yeah, everything happens for a reason, and sometimes it doesn't, but if you think

about it, even just now, hearing you say all that, the, the sort of the flip side of this really tragic time in, in, in your life, and obviously Brian's life in his passing all that stuff, the flip side of it is, again, what we talked about, the growth and the universe

that turns out, didn't serve you more than you can handle it, it never does.

You focus, you did all the right stuff, you did it the right way, you honored him, you stay connected to the kids and help them navigate through it, think about how great that is. And now as you sit here and you say you're so happy and you can see it, Sandy, you are a different person.

It's incredible. And, and so, in a way, it does happen for a reason, you know, that, that, that, that reasoning happened for me, for my growth, you know, yeah, yes, absolutely, and, I mean, I do see the

to give to me for the caregiver and it's like, aparatus, tricks, how do you get a wheelchair

up and downstairs? Oh my god, Amazon, you like, say what you wanted about Amazon, Amazon saved my life, and,

“because I had to quietly do it, and, and the office was like, why are you ordering ramps?”

Oh, the kids want something to go up and down the stair, you know, like, at the lies that I told, but, well, well, well, has ordered so many stuff, secret off of Amazon, it's crazy. Yeah. They come in a little brown packet. Oddly, a lot of ramps.

Remember, we used to go by drive by L.A. businesses' house, which wasn't too far in the record. A very different situation. I see the Amazon trucks parked in front. You're like, oh, why?

Yeah. I also want to go to the driver, like, hey, man, handle this one with care, bro. Really carefully, you know, well, Sandy, how does, you know, most of us got to know you before we got to know you through what you do on screen and how nice. Yeah, here I come.

- How the release date, oh yeah, I bet. - Back to the magnitude. - Bring me this full circle now. - Can we also talk about verse before,

“since we're talking about kids, how fabulous Jason's kids are?”

Like, I feel like there's a child missing. - Yeah. - I took them up. - Yeah, I took them up. - I got to a franny's here in Iceland with me, 'cause completely, yeah, she's been with me for the whole shoot.

And now we're finishing up together, it's great. And maple, and maple, it makes us with the, with the viola, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So, so cool, we're going to see them.

- Maple and Molly have grown up together and the things that they have done, oh my God. - Oh my God, but, you had a family question, Jason? - Yes, she's trying to deflect, I'm going to bring it back to her.

Where does that incredible other part of you

that we haven't even talked about yet? This incredible presence on screen? Where is that, what role does that play for you? No pun intended in your life now? - What do you mean, well, like, yeah, what work represented

before a lot of these challenges was probably one thing. And does it play a different role for you? Now and going forward, as far as the challenge that it presents you, the release of presents you, the family of presents you, any of those things,

you don't need to stack them all and order them all. But, what's the first thing you think about now when you think about doing what you love to do? - I mean, yeah, I mean, you're right, it is chapters. When I didn't have kids, it was like three or four films a year

and I was just so happy to work, you're a working actor. It's like, I'll fix it, I'll try and make lemonade with some of them and other ones were surprised benefits and successes and then I started producing and then I felt I had more control over the narrative

or just the quality going, if it's gonna fail, it's gonna fail because I failed, not because I had no control. And then I had kids and everything shifted, everything stopped. You know, I don't look at my career as, I mean, I wasn't supposed to work this long.

You know, every penny that I had went into real estate, I was like, well, I'm good at this. I can restore and lease it out and then I'll have something to do

“and that's why I obsessively just put every penny into a structure”

that I could restore and bring, you know, bring to life and then the kiddies came and then they are my life and work a second and that's period.

And because it's just me, I've always been a single parent, you know.

And then when Ryan got sick that, you know, after Lassie, I was like, I thought I was gonna have a little bit of a mental issue. I was like, I can't, I can't, I can't. I mean, the last, what was the funny, but not so funny, was the very last shot of our film in Los City.

We couldn't shoot when we were in the DR and we had to reshoot like a couple months later on. And I came home and I was just full on lifting, care to, you know, all the things that you do. And I came for the reshoot on a couple hours of sleep.

And I remember walking in and everyone went, what, what, or what did you not sleep? Like, I looked so bad. And when I say so bad, like, my face, it was horrific. And I could maybe manage four hours of the reshoot.

And they were like, can you just give us one? I was like, I can't, I can't, I got to go home, I got to go home. And I went home, the amount of money that they had to spend to fix my face to match the rest of the film. Digently, I looked, it was a horror show.

And I have good friends that are in the here and make up department. They're like, I can't, can't, there's not enough money to spackle that thing. So I did that. And then I just pulled the plug. I said, I can't anymore. I have nothing to give right now.

Nothing, zero. Right. But then you turned to a practical magic was, right? Well, it was the next thing. Big, big thing that you took on.

your scope of work on that if, if you want to.

“I'm not able to narrow my scope, that's really the truth, I can't.”

Well, that, I mean, like, you're so good at taking on a ton. And you succeed at everything that you, you take on. So, so, but I mean, that's kind of why I, like, I'll ask a question in a different way. Like, what are you looking forward to doing next, weren't wise and come anyway?

I want to do funny. I want to do something that like, that goes back to a time where you can tell a story and let humor be the thing. Like, they used to make films like that. Like, they had paythos in humor and fun and weren't slap sticky. Like, I can't do the, I, I'm good in between a rock and a hard place.

Like, I want life to be tricky because it is. Life has 17 different tones in the course of 24 hours. I've been witness to it. And the humor comes from the challenges that the characters go through as opposed to the jokes today. Yes. Yes. Yes. Like, I mean, and what, if you, if I watch back,

the things that would happen during the course of the day, even with Brian, I'm like, the sweetest moment was there was this beautiful trainer that I'd hired for the kids, just to be there in the PE during home schooling and the backyard and he was so buff and fabulous. And then I went, I should probably do something. I should probably move and he's like, okay, so we'd be outside, masked, 90 degree weather, you know,

“doing exercises. And he finally said, you know what?”

I just want you to lie down on the sports court for a second. I'm just going to play some

wave noises. And some, you know, way, way, way, way, way all noise. You know, and I said, okay, okay, because just lay down for a second because I was really manic. Yeah. And so I lay down because I'm just, you know, and then all of a sudden my phone rang. And I sit up because when my phone rang, that means I had to run to that room over there and help the nurses with something and I got up so full of rage. And I went, I just want five minutes to sleep and then I ran

into the house, fixed the lunch, fixed whatever it was they got, whatever the medical advice gave it to them and run back to the sports court and I laid it back down and I go, okay, I'm going to do it and he goes, we're done. I go, no, no, no, please, please, just give me, I said, we've only five minutes. He goes, you have been asleep for 45 minutes. He goes, I had to go up and see if you were still breathing. I thought you had to lie away. I had just passed

out. And I go, the fact that he gave me this little safe space to pass out on a sports court with my little mask at 90 degrees, you know. And it's like, if you can, it's like, we can figure it out. It's nice. There's nice people out then he didn't know what was going on either. He just knew that the mom to these kids was dealing with something. Somebody didn't know what it was, but he gave me grace to just, he knew I was unraveling and he was like, this, this lady needs some help.

Speak, yes, I want to, we're running out of time and I just want to make sure you can Leave us in it. - In a joys, these poor people are gonna be like, "This is a dope, no, no, no, no, no, no." - Did you get up in the office?

- Did you shoot it up? 'Cause this is this. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

- He got that white hair, oh, he was fresh. Yeah, he was fresh. - And then tough. - Now fresh as an I ate him, I didn't even think. - But then talk about these dogs,

like that I said in the opening, which made me laugh. You had two rescue dogs, Poppy and Ruby. - Which were, Poppy was my rider die. Yeah, they say there's soul dogs.

She was a three-legged Chihuahua mix of some kind. She was the greatest human-like animal. Like she was my protector. Like if I had an issue, she would go after somebody. Like she was, then there was Ruby Telliver Sachi.

She walked on her hind legs and she always looked

like she's working the runway. - She only had two legs. - Two legs. - I love because life wasn't hard enough. Let me take care of these two dogs.

- And I had the 14 years. - It's unbelievable. - Yeah, but you know what? - Here's what you need. You need a nice four-legged golden retriever and a sitcom.

“- You know what, that's what the kids asked for.”

Once the dogs died, they said, "Can we get a dog that chases a ball?" And I'm like, "Sure." And then I get, I rescue this poodle who'd been part of a puppy mill for like three years.

They shoved spoons down her throat to collapse her vocal cords. She had all kinds of emotional issues. Couldn't care less about a ball, couldn't care less. You're like, "She's my dog." And then I was like, "Okay, well, she's got,

"my dogs have to have an impediment." You know, we just can't have a straight forward, really simple loving, good listening dog. And then there was a dog that was re-homed and he was about 10 months old and I go anything wrong with them.

"He loves a ball."

“And I go, "Okay, I'll give this to the kids."”

It'll be like, "Nothing's wrong, dog, kids, ball." Turns out he's blind close off. So I drove the ball. He'll run to it and then he'll be proud of it and keep going.

So he's smart-sided. Yeah, yeah, he's smart-sided. - Get him some glasses. - Yeah, I took them to a doggy ophthalmologist. And they said we can, outfitting with goggles,

I'm like, "Oh, hey, oh, no, you're not." He's so handsome, but his eyes are still a little close and can you imagine the goggles? - No, I don't have to do that.

“- That's such a, I can't be seen in public with that.”

I just, that's just no. Let him be blind. - How does he do, how does he do the eye test? Like what they're like? - We're the first ones.

- Better to, better to, better to, better to, better to. - Looking at the thing. (laughing) - They're the first, better to, better to. - Yes.

- Yeah. >> We love you. Thank you for sharing all of that with us. >> I have a conversation with you that's not around food. I mean, it's weird. >> Right. >> But truly, I mean, I mean, we love you. I love you so much. Thank you for being so open and sharing. >> Always, you know what? It's like the one thing that does come out of this is that you get information. You get information that you can give to other people that wouldn't have access to it. So I've had a good amount of people that I've met that said, you know, my my mother has ALS and I'm like and I have the whole list of what to get during it and I can pass off the list and it's it's just I have the list.

I'm lucky because I have the list and there's people that need the list. So you guys will never need it. Thankfully, but if you know someone that needs it, I got it.

I love that. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. >> Thank you guys. Thanks from road adjacent. You from Emmy adjacent. You from Iceland adjacent gift. Give Francesca big smooch. >> Well, we'll see you. We'll see you in a week with me. I'll see you guys. We see you good performance. We're going to see our girls perform. >> Yeah, that's right. I love you so much. Thanks for sharing and always always always always are you guys. Thank you. >> Well, well, I feel uplifted and.

>> That's incredible. >> I mean, why do I love it when I cry on this damn podcast. >> It's so joyful. But like even when I cry, it feels joyful. She's just incredible.

“>> Well, like you said, you know, those are the times when it's dark and just awful. Those are the moments that life gives you to learn from and grow from, right?”

>> You don't know it in the moment, but later on, you know, it's it's it's a gift in a way and it's horrible in the moment, but a gift later on. >> And the people that have been so generous to share some of these things with us on the show like I was just thinking about Michael Lewis. >> Yeah. >> That incredible story you told us. And there's there's been a few or I found myself getting weepy and such a joyful sort of setting is this is sometimes. >> Yeah.

>> But yeah, I just feel so lucky to have her as a friend and to hear her stories and to watch her go through what she goes through. She could have told another hour on another really trying episode that she's been through in her life and then another hour and another hour. >> Right. >> And it sounded like, you know, woe was sandy because, you know, she certainly had incredible fortunate in her life as well.

But man, the way she goes through this life, I forget because she always does shower us with so much sunshine when we're around.

>> Right. >> Really forget, like, yeah, the feet are paddling like hell underneath the water sometimes with some of these things and it's really admirable. >> And it really goes to show really highlights that you never know what people are going through. This is one of those things that you think about like when you go through the world and you say like some of these cuts you off for their being an asshole and now as I get older I go, I don't know what their days like I don't know what they're going.

>> Yeah, I don't know what pressure they're under, I don't know where they're coming from and, and you can call me, I probably know. >> Yeah, I know that you can know a lot of people sure. >> But as you say, David, next time I have questions about, a fact content and milk on them. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, you never know how much you never know. >> You never know how much.

>> You never know how much. >> You never know how much.

>> You never know how much.

>> You just, you know, all me, you know, I probably know a lot. >> That probably, when you're sitting in front of the dairy, Sean, and you're presented with the option of all these different. >> You're probably, you probably just don't know which one to buy. [MUSIC]

[MUSIC] >> Smart, less.