SYSK TRENDING - A Better Approach to Decision Making

Every day it's a constant stream of choices. So let me ask you, how long did you spend deciding on what to wear today or which email to answer first or what to order the last time you were at a restaurant? We agonize over these choices like their life altering. But what if many of the decisions that stress us out don't really matter much?

“That's why today's SYSK trending topic is a better approach to decision making.”

Today in my conversation with Andy Duke, a recognized decision strategist, we talk about why we overthink small decisions, misjudge big ones and waste mental energy in all the wrong places. And we'll explore how to tell the difference between a choice that truly shapes your future and one that just feels important in the moment, but really isn't.

We'll get to it in just a moment.

We always recommend Shopify.

It took us from an idea to a real business. We got set up, I think, in less than a day. With very little effort, we could just focus on the supply chain to the product development. Shopify gives us the ability to customize without the complexity. We can change something without introducing fragility or having to pay a developer.

We're thirsty, total, and we leveled up our business with Shopify. Start your free trial at Shopify.com/AU. If you were to search for books or webinars on the topic of decision making, you find a lot of them. If you were to search the website for this podcast, you'll find we've discussed the topic

of decision making five or six times in the last three or so years. It's as if we need a lot of help making decisions and that we're somehow not particularly good at it.

“And that's why we need all these books and webinars and podcasts, and maybe for those”

big important decisions, like who to marry, which house to buy, what job to take, maybe a little help can be beneficial. But actually, when you think about all the decisions you make every day, and you make a lot of them, you do just fine. And in fact, most of them don't really matter all that much.

To understand what I mean and why this is important to you, I want you to meet Annie Duke. She's a speaker and consultant on the topic of decision making. She's a former professional poker player, and she is an advocate in the world of decision making. She is an advocate for people giving themselves permission to quit things more often.

She's the author of a book called How to Decide, Simple Tools for Making Better Choices. Hi Annie, welcome to something you should know. Well, thank you for having me, Mike. So as I said, you could get the sense from all the books about the topic that we're not very good at decision making, that we're terrible at it.

Are we terrible at it? Look, if we were really terrible at making decisions, our species wouldn't exist. The issue that we have is that we have all these ways that we make decisions that work most of the time, they're pretty good.

The problem is that there's a whole set of circumstances under which they don't work, which

will be true of any rule of thumb. So there are certain heuristics that we use in order to make decisions. There are biases that we have in the decisions that we make that cause us to make poor decisions under certain and predictable circumstances. So I remember hearing once, and I always thought this was interesting, that in many cases,

it isn't so much what you decide as your commitment to your decision, that whatever you decide, if you commit to it rather than second-guess it after the fact that you'll be a lot happier and content.

“Yeah, so it's an interesting trade-off, and be I think it depends a little bit about what”

arena we're talking about. I think in general, for things like marriage, which is supposed to be a lifelong commitment,

getting married and then immediately starting to second-guess that would be bad for your

happiness. Yeah. I think that's absolutely true. So you definitely don't want to second-guess things too much. I think that in general, if you go to college and you're constantly second-guessing your

choice of college, for example, you're going to be less happy if you take a job and you're constantly second-guessing the job that you take, you're going to be less happy. That being said, there's a flip side to that, which is that we don't want the second-guessing to go to zero, and the reason that we don't want that to go to zero is that when we choose to do something, so let's say we choose to take a job, remember I said every decision

as a forecast, we're choosing to take the job under conditions where we don't have

company talk to a few people who are there, gotten some vibes, and we decide to take the job. But what do we really know about what it's going to be like when we're actually working there? We don't know a whole lot. So one of the things that we want to think about when we're entering into something

is that that decision should not be treated as last and final, it should be the thing that I'm doing now, but I need to think about what are the signals that would tell me that this was a choice that I would prefer to change.

So in other words, we don't want to live a life where the first job we take is the last

job that we ever do, unless we happen to get fired from the job, we need to realize that we do have the option to quit to change and go do other jobs.

“So you need to get a balance between committing to the thing you're doing, but also paying”

attention to the signals that that job might not be for you. It seems an important element in decision making that maybe doesn't get talked a lot about is timing that you have to make a decision about something, but you also have a time limit because if the time expires, the decision doesn't matter, some people take a long time to make decisions other people make them quickly, what do you think?

In general, I think the people decide to slow, but stepping back from that, every decision is not created equal, and we need to understand what are the types of decisions that we should be taking our time on and what are the types of decisions that we can go pretty fast on.

And if we can understand that, we can actually get to a better balance.

So the types of decisions that we can go really fast on are ones where it's okay to make a mistake, and why are those two things connected will be because the faster that you make a decision, the more likely you're going to introduce error into the decision. So when you're making decision that isn't going to matter much to your happiness in the

“long run, that's when you should go fast.”

So an example would be, and this is something that people often take a lot of time on, is ordering off a menu. So maybe you're somebody like this or do you know people like this, where you go to a restaurant, and they're looking at the menu, and it just takes them forever to decide what to eat.

Dries me crazy. Right. It's particularly bad if you're at the cheesecake factory, which I think has like a 20-page menu, for example. But even if you're at a place with a relatively small menu, people tend to really really

struggle with that decision, and I think that part of the reason that people struggle with that decision is that pretty quickly after you order, you're going to get whatever it is you ordered, and it's either going to be good or bad, and when it's bad, you're going to feel like you made a mistake. So what they're trying to do is to get to the right choice to avoid that feeling of

I made a mistake because I don't like my food.

But of course, we have to remember every decision being a forecast that first of all, there's

no way for you to know whether your dish is going to be great or bad in advance of getting it. So you're just making your best gas, and if it turns out the chicken is dry, it doesn't mean you made a mistake. But more importantly, the reason why we shouldn't take a lot of time on that decision

is because it doesn't really matter, not in the long run. So like, Mike, I mean, I can ask you this, let's say that we go to lunch, and you order something, and it turns out that you don't like your lunch very much. If I catch you a year later, after we've had that meal, and I say to you, hey, just catching up with you after a year, the last time I saw you was at that lunch a year ago, and you

didn't really like it very much.

“How much did that meal affect your happiness over the course of this last year?”

None. Now, what if I see you a month later, and I say, hey, it's been a month since we had that lunch, like, how much did that lunch affect your happiness over the last month? Yeah, not much. No.

Not much. And even if I see you a week later, you've had 21 meals since then. In other words, it's just a decision that makes no difference, right? Like, we feel it really keenly in the moment, but it's actually very low impact. So what we want to think about when we're deciding, like, when should we take our

time versus when should we go fast, is not this fear of getting a bad outcome and feeling like you made a mistake? Is it something that's going to matter? Because if it's not going to matter, it doesn't really matter if I got a bad meal. So we should be thinking about impact.

So that sort of piece number one is that most of the decisions that we make are actually pretty low impact. They're not really going to have high effect on our overall happiness over the course of our lives.

So just go fast on those things.

On the things that are high impact, like, you know, the way that the thing that I like

“to think about, are you dating or are you marrying, right?”

If you have a bad date, it's not a big deal. If you have a bad marriage it is, right? Are you hiring an intern, are you hiring a CFO? If you hire an intern who doesn't work out very well, so what? If you hire a CFO that doesn't work out very well, that's a really big deal, right?

So like whenever you're in this sort of dating category or the intern category, just go fast. It doesn't really matter. But when you're in that CFO or marriage category, those are rare decisions, that's when you should actually slow down.

We're talking about decisions we make and why we spend a lot of time on making decisions

that don't really matter much.

My guest is Andy Duke. She's author of the book How To Decide Simple Tools for Making Better Choices. How do you spell my Cavespace? Do you spell it all? Yeah, exactly.

How do you spell it, how do you spell it, that's just a couple of things. A Gallop Studio, Job or Unzoom. That's all. Great! I don't know how to spell it.

Do you spell it? Save! With how do you spell it? So-called fresh music. And so-called fresh by Aldi.

"Amma good, Emma günstig, Emma Vielfeldig, kurz gesagt, fresh for all." To Aldi Price. This week, Mini Cherry Rysbentomaten 300g for Nur 2,079, or Tafelburn, the kilo for Nur 1,499, and Decca viele weitere Angebotes zum Aldi Price. Now in your Aldi Nordfiliale.

And furthermore, with fresh music for every game, Aldi. Good for all. So, Andy, I find often in making decisions where you speculate, like if I did this, then this could happen, or that could happen. But none of those could happen ever happen.

That it's always something else, and it may be good, may be bad.

But you spend a lot of time imagining the possibilities. And it seems like almost never do those possibilities materialize. Yeah. So, first of all, one of the problems that we have is decision makers, and it kind of goes back to that idea.

And when I said, the thing that's really hard for people when they're ordering from a menu is that they're afraid that the meal's going to be bad. One of the biases that we have is called loss of version, and what that means is that when you're imagining the possibilities that are going to occur in the future, you tend to be more focused on the bad things that can happen, then the good things.

And when you get more focused on the bad things that happen, you can see how that would call, cause paralysis, right? It's very slow decision-making, because you're so concerned about quote-unquote getting the decision, right? So, that's one piece of that imagining of the future.

Look, here's the fact, is that when we're making decisions, at the moment that we make decisions, the decision, we know very little in comparison to all there is to be known. That's just the state of being human. And there's going to be an influence of luck on the outcome. So even in the situation where we know everything we need to know, like we have a coin,

and we've weighed it, and we know that it's going to land heads 50% of the time, and tails 50% of the time.

“On a single flip, we still don't know what's going to land, right?”

Because that's just under the influence of luck, but because we know very little in comparison to all there is to be known, we actually don't even know if the coin is too side-it, right? We don't know if it's a fair coin, maybe it's not a fair coin, maybe it's got three sides or four sides, right? Like, we're sort of guessing at those kinds of things.

So you're right, when we're imagining the different outcomes that could occur, generally, depending on how much luck is involved, depending on whatever sort of our informational status, there's going to be a range of possible outcomes that could occur, and each of those outcomes is going to have some probability associated with it, but we're only ever going to observe one of those outcomes, which means that most of the outcomes that

we're imagining aren't going to happen, and that's going to be more true the farther out into the future that you go. So if I'm trying to predict something that's going to happen in the next minute, I'm probably going to be pretty good at that. So if I'm trying to predict something that's going to happen in a year or two years, most

of the things that I'm guessing at aren't going to occur because there's such a big range of things that could occur as you get farther out into the future.

“But what's really important though, is that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to predict.”

Because you should, you should try to predict because you still have to make a decision

The important thing is I make a decision that's my best guess about all the things that

“might happen in a year, but then as I accumulate more information, then I will change my”

guess because eventually that thing that I was thinking about that might occur in a year is only going to be a week away, right? Like, you know, as I get out, you know, 51 weeks into the future and will only be a week away, at which point I should be updating what my prediction was. But that's just, you know, the state of being human, but it doesn't mean that you shouldn't

be trying to forecast what those outcomes are because it's still going to make you a better decision maker. But it seems that also that your temperament has something to do with what those outcomes are, that if you're a pessimist, you're going to be looking at the worst case scenario, if you're an optimist, you're going to be that everything works out, it doesn't really

matter. Oh, absolutely, so, you know, with loss of version, people tend to focus on the downside, they tend to focus on like those bad outcomes that might occur. Obviously, there's also the other problem which is people tend to be overconfident and overly optimistic.

So we will often estimate our chances of success as much higher. We know that that's a problem as well. So overconfidence is just a really huge problem. Most of the problems, if we're sort of in the pessimistic side, where we're really just think, you know, we're really just focused on the downside outcomes that could occur,

or we're, you know, overly optimistic or overconfident, where we're really overestimating the chances the good things can happen, it's going to mess our forecast up. So whichever bias you're subject to, you actually want to get a better view of what the world might hold for you, and one of the best ways to do that is to get somebody else's opinion.

So we're subject to these biases where we might overestimate the chances of good stuff happening, or we might be particularly risk-averse and afraid of the bad things that are happening, but those are biases that we have for ourselves and our own decisions. So one of the best things that you can do is go find yourself a mentor or someone to help you out and sort of explain what the decision is that you're facing and ask them

“what they think the possible outcomes are, and what options they think that you should”

be considering, because they'll generally see the world more clearly than you see yourself. There's just all sorts of evidence that shows when you look at people giving other people advice, the quality of the advice that they give to other people is much higher than the sort of what we consider the quality of the advice that you give to yourself. So we should be seeking out people to give us advice to help with the advice that we're

giving ourselves. Well, I mean, that is so apparent when you look at somebody who's struggling with a decision,

struggling with a problem, and to you, the answer is so clear, but when you have something

similar, that same kind of problem, you struggle as much as they did, because it's you, it's your, it's on the line. Yeah, and there's recent research that actually shows that when people are struggling with a really hard decision, if you have them go give advice to somebody else who's struggling with the same decision, it helps them with their own decision.

There's something about, as you just said, like giving advice to somebody else, it's not your struggle anymore, and that allows you to see it so much more clearly. You know, I can think of decisions I've made, and I sure other people have this experience that you, at the time you're making the decision, you think, like, this is it, like, there's no going back, but so many of the decisions that we make, we can undo them later

if they didn't turn out, right, right? You know, once we start something, we think that stopping it is like a failure. It's a sign of being weak, well, like we all know that grit is a sign of character,

“and we should stick it out and show our metal, right?”

We should be courageous and keep going. But there's so much science that shows that we don't quit things soon enough, and I think that one of the ways that I can get at that mic is like, think about some big decisions that you've made where you did finally quit something. As you think about that set of decisions, would you say that, for the most part, after

you finally quit, you think, oh, I should have done that a lot earlier, or for the most part, do you think, whoa, I did that too soon? Oh, I would say, you know, wish I'd done that earlier, right? And I think that that's true for most people is that we feel like, oh, I wish I had done

that earlier, and I think the problem is that kind of to the point of what we were talking

about before, about wanting to get to that certainty before you're willing to make a decision,

Because it does feel like such a failure to us to actually walk away from something, right?

That we don't want to walk away from it unless we know that we didn't have any other choice.

“But if we didn't have any other choice, that's way past the point that you should have”

walked away. So I think that people need to get better at saying, like, look, when I make a decision

to start something, I'm giving it my best guess as to whether I'm going to like this job,

for example. But then after I've started the job, there's all sorts of signals that could happen that

“would show me that this is on the job for me.”

You know, my boss could be toxic, or the hours might not be good, or people are emailing

me constantly on Sunday, and that's not really what I wanted in a job, and I didn't

think that that was going to be the case. But now that I've discovered it, it's okay for me to leave. Well, as I listen to you talk, I can think of several decisions, many decisions that I've made in my life that seem really so important at the time, but have had no lasting effect on my life or my happiness or anything.

“And I think that's so important to keep in mind that so many of the decisions that we”

make that we agonize over. Just don't really matter that much. I've been speaking with Annie Duke. She is a speaker and consultant on the topic of decision making. She's a former professional poker player, and author of the book How to Decide.

Simple tools for making better choices. And there's a link to her book and Amazon in the show notes. Thanks Annie. Appreciate you coming on. Thanks Mike.

This has been super fun. Really happy that you had me on.