It's almost over the city.
This school club is really different.
And then this is often the place. No, I don't know. This city is my safe space. Hmm, do you know everything about it? Yeah, exactly.
This city is the city of Stoia-App. They just understand. They just do the job or to the city. Really? I don't know how to stay.
Stoia is the place. Stoia is the place. With the city of Stoia.
“Hey, on something you should know, valuable lessons we can learn from the parking lot at Disney World.”
Then the biology of love and the science behind a successful relationship. What the data says about the highest prediction for successful relationship It has nothing to do with the other person. The predictor for my successful relationship is how satisfied I am with my life, with my career, with my friends. Also, it's going barefoot a good idea.
And you can save quite a bit of money by asking for deals on things, breaks on fees and charges, if you're willing to ask. I totally get not wanting to be cheap, but people's budgets are really tight. It really can be a classic example of it can't hurt to ask the worst thing that they're going to say is no. All this today on something you should know.
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“Something you should know, fascinating intel,”
The world's top experts and practical advice you can use in your life today. Something you should know would mic her others. If you've ever been in love or want to be in love or are curious about love, This episode is for you. You're about to hear a really interesting conversation about the biology of love.
Welcome to something you should know. I'm Mike Herothers and we start today with this. Whether it's a party or a meeting or a trip to Disney World or Disneyland, you're more likely to remember the beginning and the end of the experience more than what happened in the middle. While Disney knew this and that's why when you go to Disneyland or Disney World,
you'll notice something very interesting. The experience in the parking lot is usually about as pleasant as a parking lot experience can be. The parking attendance and the tram operators have nice uniforms, they're well trained, well organized, and they make the experience as brief as possible.
Because research shows that even if you have a great time in the Disney park,
if the first or last part of the experience,
meaning your experience in the parking lot is unpleasant, it will change your memory of the entire trip. You can use this knowledge to your advantage when you host an experience. Make sure the beginning and the end are pleasurable to all the participants. And that is something you should know.
Hopefully, and most certainly, you have experienced different kinds of love in your life. Parental love, love of a child or a relative or a friend. Romantic love, even the love of a pet. It's all love and humans it seems crave it. But as you may have noticed in your life and in the lives of everyone around you,
love is problematic. As wonderful as it can be, it can also cause a lot of trouble. Most discussions of love focus on the feelings and attitudes and beliefs about love. But today, we are taking a fascinating look at love through a biological lens, the biology of love.
And through that lens, you'll discover how to improve the love relationships in your life. And you're going to hear a prescription for better romantic love and marriage. That is different from what you've probably heard before.
“And when you hear it, I think you'll agree it really rings true.”
My guest is Dr. Leot Yakir. She is a biologist, specializing in genetics and science communication. She's a highly respected keynote speaker on the topics of biology of human emotions and the evolutionary roots of human behavior. She's author of a book called "A Brief History of Love."
What attracts us? How we fall in love and why biology screws it all up.
Highly at, welcome to something you should know.
Hi Mike, good to be here.
“So tell me first of all, what's your working definition of love? What is it exactly?”
So as a biologist, they see love as an emotion, a emotion of bonding and attachment to another creature. It can be the lover, children, other relationships that we had with another creature. And it's the product of a hormones that are produced in our brain and in our body. That makes us a bond to each other. And do humans crave it or we just, if we get it, we get it.
We crave for it. We are born for love and the main hormone here is oxytocin. The love hormone, the bonding hormone, attachment, empathy. And we are social creature without love we perish. We need this hormone to relax our nervous system, our nervous system needs another nervous system to be relaxed and to feel secure. So we crave love.
“So we call it all love, but the different kinds of love are really different.”
The love you feel for your child or your parent is very different than the love you feel for a romantic partner. Yet it's all called love and they almost deliver some reward. Love as a relaxation asset is our bond with any creature. Yeah, even our pet and of course our parents and family and friends. So we crave this oxytocin, this hormone that we can get only in relationship.
But the romantic love is the most complicated and it starts at puberty. And it has three stages that we should discriminate between because it makes our life more complicated. So the romantic love is composed of the phase of attraction, which is mainly led by the testosterone and estrogen. When we start to be interested in the other sex, it takes our brain 30 seconds to decide if we are attracted sexually to a person or not, of course it's subconscious.
And the second phase is the infatuation stage.
The falling in love, the stage that all the songs and the stories talks about, the text between six hours to two years. This infatuation stage that butterflies in your belly. Six hours to two years. Yeah, usually every in average around one year, even today, even ten months, it takes us to fall in love with somebody, the infatuation phase. That you feel that you cannot live without that person and you crave for their proximity and you sit by the phone for the message to come.
And so this is the infatuation stage and the last stage and the prolonged stage is the attachment where there's no more butterflies in the belly. And you don't crave for text message, but you feel secure and you feel relaxed and you feel attached to the person, you feel good friendship. And also some desire and love, of course. But every stage is led by different hormones. In the attraction stage, is it ever possible?
“Does it ever happen where two people are attracted to each other?”
But without the sexual desire, the sexual potential, it's just two people just really click and get along. But there's no desire for sex. Yeah, that's a very good question, Mike. For me as a biologist, looking at humans in evolutionary terms, everything is about sex. So our brain is a very hard wire, especially the ancient areas are wired for sex.
So when we see somebody, the ancient area of the brain are the first one to switch on.
And we look at the person and we find them attractive or non-attractive. And in biological terms, it means a real eye sexually. We want to be around this person. And as I said, it takes the amygdala. Emotion control center of the brain, 30 seconds to decide yes or no. If I want to be with someone or not, our higher areas of the brain, like the prefrontal cortex,
we say no, I'm not only attracted to the physical appearance of a person. I'm can be a sexual, for example. I'm attracted to smart people with high intelligence, so high emotional intelligence. But this is the other areas of the brain that are making rational of the attraction.
Basically, it's all about sex in nature.
When you say it's all about sex, is it all about sex the same way for both sexes?
“And what I mean by that is, I think it's just kind of a general feeling assumption, opinion, I don't know,”
that men are much more attracted to the physical and that women are, that's less important, that that's further down the list. Yes, she still looks at the physical appearance.
And when we look at the research about dating apps, we see that women look first on parameters of height of the men.
You know, be a little more higher than her before she looks at the social status. So physical attraction is very, very important also for women and testosterone and estrogen play the role. The testosterone make men be more physically in average, 15% higher in mass than women. And women look for somebody to be bigger than her, you know, feel comfortable, feel like she's protected. She will say these things, but it's basically the attraction for higher levels of testosterone, which also will make a man look more athletic or, you know, more muscles.
But the features of testosterone and also of estrogen. So also women look at the physical appearance of men.
“But you are right, the social status is also important for women.”
And in all mammalian king, them females don't like any male. They are attracted to the alpha male or males that show the signs of the alpha male. So they have a higher social status than the other the dominant ones in the in the territory. So still you are right, it's also a for women. But also a men in the dating apps with a photograph with a guitar gets much more messages from women.
So awesome music gives us a good science. So men whose picture has a guitar or their holding a guitar is more attractive to women. Yes, I guess it's signs of, you know, like making music and oxytocin oxytocin is a critic when we make music. So it may be more sensitive men connected to his feelings and can be a good partner and a good parent maybe. I don't know, but still a guitar do it for women still today.
It's not a conscious thing. They don't say, well, I find him attractive because he's holding a guitar right, it's very subconscious. Exactly, 95% of what happened to us or behavior is subconscious to us. And for me as a biologist, it's all rooted in our biology. And there is a logic behind them in evolutionary, in evolutionary sense there is a logic behind it. Also men are men we see in dating apps are attractive to, of course, the physical appearance there, fertility signs of women.
But also women that smile a lot and they convey in the photograph a joyfulness and vitality gets more messages for men. So men are not only looking for the physical appearance, but also for vitality signs and joyfulness and smilefulness. When we find someone attractive, it is just that it's only attraction. It doesn't mean that that person would make a good partner, would make a good life partner. It's just a very initial physical or whatever you just described.
But it has nothing to do with and this person would make a good partner.
“Exactly, that's why I'm saying that there is no love at first sight.”
There is attraction from first sight, which is important, yes, but there is no love at first sight.
And 10% of people, you know, they were asking in big surveys. 10% say that they knew it was it from the first sight. And 50% say they even didn't have attraction at first sight. So they didn't even thought about going for another date. So we need to give a chance because love takes time.
It takes time to secrete the oxytosin. It is secrete it. When we talk with each other, when we smile to each other, when we ask questions and talk about our lives and about our emotions and feelings. Sometimes people really eliminate, you know, after one date and they say, I didn't feel that attraction and that's it. But love takes time. And when you start to secrete the oxytosin, this special love hormone.
After a while, you find the person more attractive than he was at the first.
Oh, she was at first sight because oxytosin makes us you for it and see the o...
It can be also for the other side.
So when you find someone very attractive at first sight, but then you know him and you know that he is not a good person.
And suddenly he doesn't look so attractive. So it's all in our eyes and it's all the work of hormones. So we need to give love a chance. So there's this thing that gets thrown into the mix of attraction and infatuation. I'd like for you to explain. And that is this idea of being hard to get that it's more attractive if somebody doesn't want you.
“And it seems like, you know, you should want somebody who wants you and they should want somebody who wants them.”
But somehow in the human brain when someone's hard to get, it makes them more attractive and doesn't seem to make much sense. In evolutionary terms, it makes in, you know, human sense, it doesn't make sense because you should want somebody that wants us of course.
So I always say for singers play hard to get, not too hard of course, don't insult the other person.
But don't be too available, especially for women sometimes. We get attached or we just want to hang out with the guy. And automatically he can interpret it as, oh, she's, you know, desperate for and/or two attachment, two and... needy.
“We're discussing the biology of love and my guest is Lyat Yakir author of the book, a brief history of love.”
What attracts us how we fall in love and my biology screws it all up. Of the Regency era, you might know it as the time when Bridget and takes place. For the time when Jane Austen wrote her books, the Regency era was also an explosive time of social change, sex scandals, and maybe the worst king in British history. Folker history's new season is all about the Regency era, the balls, the gowns, and all the scandal. Listen to vulgar history, Regency era, wherever you get podcasts.
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So, Leot, often the explanation you hear about the benefits of playing hard to get is that people like a challenge. If you're too easy to get, you're not so desirable that people like a challenge. Is that it that we want to challenge?
Yes, because this challenge is basically the work of testosterone, and also for male and female.
This testosterone makes us want to conquer to be with someone that it's not from our league, and it feels like we have a accomplishment.
“That's why it's really important to not be too easy to get, and also add that it implies also inside the relationships.”
Sometimes we see, okay, so we are in a relationship, and we are married, so we don't need to play games anymore, but it's not necessarily true. Even inside the marriage, we need to sometimes play these games. I mean, not to be too needy, why we don't hang out too much together, you are not with me, you are more with your friends. Automatically, when someone is saying such phrases or sentences, the other one feels, oh, I need my space. I don't want to be controlled. So this game of testosterone is a play. It plays before the relationship and also inside the relationships.
First there, I'm sure exceptions to pretty much everything you've said, and one of those exceptions I'd like you to talk about is, I think everybody probably knows someone who should not get married or should never have gotten married, because they just don't seem the settle down monogamous type. Are there people like that that are just wired that way that monogamy just doesn't work for them? In fact, 20% of the population have a special variant of the gene for dopamine receptor in the brain that they call it the infidelity gene.
You need more excitements and more conquerors, and these 20% of population ne...
Because dopamine makes us sick for novelty, for new things. We have this wiring of the brain that makes us become tolerant to the same stimuli, the same kiss, the same touch with the same person.
So after a while, like I said six hours to two years, we find it boring sometimes, and it's wiring of our brain, it has nothing to do with the other person. So in this game, this is what I'm trying to educate and understand that it's written in our biology. We will have to deal with the tension between the need of security, attachment, familiarity, and also the need for dopamine and adrenaline and serotonin, which are coming for us from a novelty seeking, and that's why you sometimes will lose desire for the same person.
“But it seems, would you say that women are more monogamous, or would you say that men are less monogamous than the other?”
No, no, I wouldn't say that, because also we see when we look at a research about cheating, we see it's 50/50 between women and men, so there is no difference.
You said a few minutes ago that there's this variant of a gene that makes people 20% of people less monogamous, or more likely to cheat. Can you actually test for that? Yes, even there is there are labs in the US that you can send your DNA, and they will tell you if you have this variant of the gene. There is also the monogamy gene. It makes the male more attached to the females, not so the female more attached to the males, so they stay together forever, and they don't cheat on each other, and they usually, they don't get depressed when they are not together.
So there is also the monogamy gene, and you can check for this also.
“So with all you know about this, do you have a prescription like what makes a good monogamous relationship or what gets in the way of it?”
Yes, I have a prescription to preserve love if we understand this biology. First, what the data says about the highest predictor for successful relationship, it doesn't, it has nothing to do with the other person. It has all about it, it has all to do with us. This satisfaction from life of oneself, yes, so the predictor for my successful relationship is how satisfied I am with my life, with my career, with my friend, with the meaning of life for me, and the second predictor is the levels of stress.
The first thing we need to do is relieve stress and be more satisfied with our own life and responsibility. The other parameter is the commitment to the bond and the appreciation of the partner and also sexual satisfaction. So also my prescription is to really work on the sexual satisfaction, having knowing that the biology is against us, but we can outsmart biology by keeping the engines of eroticism, by talking about it, by don't pleasing each other too much, no being everyone has his own space and be too long to each other, you know, to be together, but also apart sometimes.
And elevate the oxytocin level, you know, smile and touch and be with each other and talk with each other and do things together, but do things also apart.
“What's interesting about your prescription is that we hear so often when couples are having trouble, you need to work on your relationship, and I never really understood what that meant.”
But that's not what you're saying, you need to work on you, maybe, and maybe help your partner work on them, but it isn't so much about fixing the relationship according to what you just said. Yes, this is what I think, because I see it also all as, you know, balance of hormones and if you are balanced with your hormones, you know, more serotonin, I love serotonin, you know, dopamine is the novelty seeking to seek for what I don't have. Serotonin is being happy with what I have, and I wish everybody could elevate this serotonin, which makes us look at what we have and be content and be satisfied to have gratitude towards ourselves.
Well, it's really unique to hear a discussion about love and relationships an...
And I think it it brings great insight into the whole issue of of what's going on in relationships and what goes wrong and what goes right.
“I've been speaking to Dr. Leot Yaqir. She is a biologist who specializes in genetics and science communication and she's author of a book called a brief history of love.”
What attracts us how we fall in love and why biology screws it all up. There's a link to her book at Amazon in the show notes. Thank you for spending the time today, Leot. Thank you. Thank you very much, Mike. Congratulations. Hey, it's Hilary Frank from the Longest Shortest Time, an award-winning podcast about parenthood and reproductive health. We talk about things like sex ed, birth control, pregnancy, bodily autonomy, and of course, kids of all ages, but you don't have to be a parent to listen.
“If you like surprising, funny, poignant stories about human relationships and, you know, periods, the longest shortest time is for you. Find us in any podcast app or at Longest ShortestTime.com.”
A lot of people are having trouble making ends meet today. That's no secret.
Interest rates are high, credit uses high, money is tight, and in today's world where every dollar counts, there are some ways you can keep more of your money. And that's what Matt Schultz is here to discuss. Matt is chief credit analyst at lending tree. He is written for bank rate, business insider, CBS Money Watch, and he is author of a book called Ask questions save money, make more, how to take control of your financial life.
“Hey Matt, welcome to something you should know.”
Thanks for having me. It's great to be here.
So explain what you mean by how people can take more control over their finances than maybe they realize. It's really about the ability to get a little bit more for your money and to take a little more control. A simple example would be that if you are late paying a credit card bill. I mean, your day or two late, your credit card issuer may hit you with a late fee. And that can be in the past. It's been thirty forty dollars a shot. There's some rules that just change that going to make that more like eight or ten dollars, but still that's that's real money that you are being charged for a simple mistake or it oversight or something like that.
But most credit card issuers have a policy unwritten or otherwise that says that they will wave that fee for occasional offenders, but people have to ask for it. So that like eight dollar thirty dollar thing may not change people's lives, but when you add it all up and you make those sort of asks and take that control in other aspects of your life, it can it can add up. Well, I think everybody's probably had that happened to them where the credit card payment was a day or two later, they just forgot to pay it or whatever, and then they get hit with that fee. And I'm glad to hear because I hadn't heard that that fee is going down because yeah, it's been like thirty five forty bucks.
And now they're going to have to reduce that because I would imagine banks credit card companies make a lot of money on those fees. I mean, it's almost pure profit. Oh, a lot of money. And the people who hate the most are folks who are repeat offenders. So while somebody who only has to face that fee once in a blue moon can get it waived. The people who are paying that type of fee most and other bank fees like overdraft fees and stuff like that most often are the ones who may have that fee six eight ten times a year.
And that stuff really, really adds up and those folks aren't going to get that fee waived. That's the announcement that just came down from from the Biden administration bit. They're going to be in most cases for the biggest credit card issuers capping credit card late fees at eight dollars for in all instances as opposed to thirty dollars for the first instance and forty one dollars for subsequent offenses.
That's savings is is a big deal, especially when you consider that you might ...
Well, I will always figure the bigger issue is when you're late with a credit card payment, yes, you'll often get hit with a fee and you can usually waive it. I've heard that credit card companies, if I recall say you can do it once a year, you know, that that's their policy, but if you're one of those six times a year, guys, that's not likely to they're not going to keep waiving it and waiving it, but what also happens is your interest rate sky rockets after your late by a day or two.
“Generally, your interest rate isn't going to skyrocket if you're just late for a day or two. Generally, what happens is you have to be thirty sixty days late with that payment in order for them to bump up your interest rate in that way.”
So if you are, if you're only a day or two late, really what it's about is calling up that card issuer and saying, hey, I just made a mistake.
Auto paid, litched or, you know, I was really busy or something like that and I didn't get, I didn't get that paid. Would you mind waiving it? And if you are somebody who hasn't been late very often, there's a really, really good chance that they're going to waive that.
“Well, besides credit card fees and late fees and that kind of thing, where else are we missing an opportunity here, for example?”
Well, one big other example is in the medical bill space and it's certainly not breaking news to anybody that medical bills are a really, really big deal and a really, really expensive thing.
And the truth is that there is room to negotiate and room to just make sure that you are being treated properly with those medical bills. And one of the things that I that I've spoken with a bunch of people about is that first medical bill that you get that statement that you get.
“Sometimes has errors on it. And if you don't check to make sure that what you are getting billed for is accurate, it can cost you real money.”
Like for example, I mean, I've looked at bills, well, a couple of things. If insurance is going to pay for it, you're less likely to scrutinize the bill if all you have to do is $40 copay or whatever it is, then you're not going to go over line by line.
But medical bills, whether on purpose or not, I always suspect it is, are impossible to make sense of and maybe if you're a doctor you can, but you can't make sense of those things.
But you can certainly try. I mean, you don't have to understand every single thing in that space, but you, there are things that you can do and that you can understand that can really help because part of what keeps people from asking for these things, whether it's at the doctor's office or at, you know, with the mechanic or with your IT guy or whatever the case might be, is that they feel that they can't possibly have a conversation with somebody that would be impactful because they don't know enough.
But the truth is that sometimes it is just about asking somewhat simple questions and with medical bills, in particular, what you can do is ask the medical provider for an itemized bill of the services that you got and to include what are called CPT codes on that bill. And those CPT codes are essentially to medical services, what like bar codes are to products in a store. They are industry wide accepted coding for specific services procedures and what have you and they are the true indicator of what you are getting billed for.
And if you look at those and do a little bit of homework online to understand what the code is that is on that bill, you can see if you got charged for, for example, the wrong thing that may cost $5,000 instead of the thing that you actually got that you actually got done that might have only been $1,500.
These things aren't necessarily simple, but you definitely can impact your co...
Well, what about some of the simple things? I would imagine there are some things that we just never even think to ask. So we don't get because if you don't ask, you don't get little things like shopping at a furniture store or an appliance store that's run by a mom and pop and asking them to add in throw pillows with that couch that you bought or things like that.
“There are so many cases, really more often than not in which you can negotiate. Now, it's it's certainly true that you're not going to be able to go up to the checkout counter at Croger and had all over the price of Cheerios and a loaf of bread.”
But with many, many other things you can and oftentimes when the when the ticket price goes up, you may actually have a little bit more room to negotiate.
So address the thing though that I think a lot of people have where you feel kind of especially a mom and pop store like you feel like you're taking money from I mean they set the price as the price and here you're trying to like get a deal and you know that means they're going to make less money and is it really worth it to say $5 on this and I just it makes me feel kind of cheap.
“That's that's a real thing and there's there's no question about it and and there are there is something to be said for.”
Meaning on your values as to how you negotiate and who you negotiate with like maybe you don't want to negotiate with a small business because you understand that their margins are really really tight or you're not going to negotiate at a thrift store or someplace like that because you know that even if you pay a little bit more that money is going to.
A good place that sort of thing but what you also need to realize is that a lot of these businesses.
They may not necessarily expect you to negotiate but they're not going to run you off if you negotiate either it really can be a classic example of.
“It can't hurt to ask the worst thing that they're going to say is no so I totally get not wanting to be.”
Not wanting to be cheap not wanting to come off as pushy or a Karen or something like that but. People's budgets are really tight oftentimes life's expensive in 2024 and that's not changing anytime soon so there are little things that you can do that can make a difference sometimes you just need to pick your spots depending on what you're asking for what kind of deal you're trying to get.
I would always have trouble once I heard no of what do you say now you ask for something they say no okay now what.
Sometimes when you're told no the best thing to do is just say okay no worries and move on but there are times where there is value in escalating to a manager or even sometimes just calling back the next day because sometimes the person that you get on the other end of the phone. I've had a really rough day has been yelled at 10 different times and just isn't going to help anybody but maybe the next person that you speak to the next day will so. It can be worth sometimes asking and being willing to to be rejected being told no and there's also there's also something to it where you're.
I talk in sports analogies a lot and it's it's really a bit about kind of getting your reps in where if you're told no the first time it hurts may take a personal it may feel really bad but if you get used to it and understand that it's not personal they're not doing anything to you intentionally. You do those may kind of roll off your back a little bit more so if I wanted to do what you're talking about and negotiate with a you know cell phone carrier or credit card company or whatever. You have scripts in your book but give me a sample of how that conversation would go.
With a credit card interest rate for example you can look at websites like le...
You say hey I've been a customer for a few years I love your card I've never missed a payment but I got this offer for a card that's offering me a 19% interest rate.
“Instead of the 25% interest rate that I have now who can I speak with about potentially having y'all lower my lower my interest rate and chances are they may push back a little bit.”
In the case like that they it may be a situation where you follow up with okay who else on your team and I speak with about this to kind of keep the ball rolling and that's an example of. You know kind of an open-ended question where instead of giving somebody the opportunity to end the conversation by telling you no.
“You're keeping it open-ended and they may say well let me connect you with my boss or let me connect you with somebody in our marketing team or whatever the case might be.”
And that can be a way for you to keep that conversation going and keep them from just cutting you off at the past. I've also heard people say and I but I've never done it is so if you have like a cable TV or internet service or whatever and you got some kind of you know teaser offer at the beginning and then your rate goes up that you can call and you know get get the monthly fee lowered.
“Absolutely true I mean there's no guarantee that it works every single time but I think by now that is so common that the cable companies might might even expect people to do that and cell phone providers as well.”
And that's an example of when there's a really really competitive marketplace you have real value because those companies look at you in terms of your lifetime value meaning that when you stick around you spend more money and they make more money off of you. So if you ask for a reduced rate for a few months that's probably not going to be that big of an issue for big mega cable company because they want to keep you around and keep you spending money and once you kind of understand the whole lifetime value idea and that you are valuable to that company.
It keeps you from feeling like you're going in on bended knee asking for scraps and makes you feel like you're coming at it with more of a position of our and that can that can really make a difference in how you feel and how you approach that call.
I've always wondered and maybe you've looked into this and because I have some experience with this that.
Some of these companies are aware that people will be doing this stuff and they throw up roadblocks specifically to make it difficult and is that a fair statement or not. No, it's it's definitely fair. I mean, it's it's it's not news to these big companies that people will try and call and and ask for breaks and that if you know that going in it can be okay and that's one of those examples where you kind of have to think through at the beginning. How far you're willing to go and what you know it's it's the example of if you're at a car dealership and you're negotiating with over a rate and you're like, well, I'm just going to walk out that that car salesman's going to follow you and suddenly have that better deal.
It's the same thing if you are willing to cancel that credit card or that gym membership or something like that.
You don't always have to bring that sort of hammer sometimes it's it's just not necessary, but there are definitely occasions where you will get push back and it may be a little bit harder.
That doesn't mean that you can't end up eventually getting a little bit of so...
Yeah, well, I know we had an experience with a major cell phone carrier just time after time every time there was a problem and all we have to check with this and then they would promise to do this and then it never happened and then you'd have to call back and so we finally switched carriers and and you know now we get all those things in the mail and emails.
Come on back. Come on back. No. Sorry. You made it so difficult. We're never coming back.
That happens all the time. People have limits as to how far they're willing to be pushed before they take action and the other thing that people should understand is what what you said at the end there is that they come back offering you ways to. To save if you come back and depending on how badly hurt you feel or how awful you were treated, you can leverage that sometimes.
“Well, as I listened to you, I think back on all the times I thought about you know asking for that deal or maybe I should maybe I shouldn't and you think about all those times how much money over the course of time I might have saved.”
If I had but didn't probably a lot of money. Matt Schultz has been my guess. He's the chief credit analyst at lending tree and he is author of a book called Ask questions save money make more how to take control of your financial life.
And there's a link to that book at Amazon and the show notes. Thanks Matt. Thanks Mike. This is a lot of fun. I appreciate you having me.
Is it good to go barefoot? Well, depends on who you talk to. Some people are strong supporters of earthing that is being barefoot in order to pick up electrons from the bare earth. It is said that earthing reduces inflammation prevents and treats chronic inflammatory and autoimmune diseases and produces measurable differences in white blood cells. It can even reduce pain levels, they say, and some say going barefoot even has mental health benefits. On the other hand, research shows that people have been wearing shoes of some sort for more than 40,000 years and there's a pretty good reason for that.
“Footwear provides important structural support comfort and protection from a wide variety of threats including sharp objects, pests, heat and invisible germs.”
You can't see them, but bacteria, fungi, and viruses are common in showers, locker rooms, pools, and anywhere else with a lot of water or moisture.
These micro organisms can lead to infection and change your foot's appearance. The fact is that when you go out in public, you're walking on surfaces that hundreds, if not thousands of people have walked on before, and you have no idea what you're coming in contact with. So, should you go barefoot? Well, it kind of depends on where you go barefoot and how important it is to go barefoot. And that is something you should know. If you follow this podcast, we pop up on your phone or other device three times a week, three episodes a week.
We hope you'll listen and also remember we have a huge back catalog of shows that you may have missed.
“I'm Mike Herruthers, thanks for listening today to something you should know.”
Hey, it's Hilary Frank from the Longest Shortest Time, an award-winning podcast about parenthood and reproductive health. There is so much going on right now in the world of reproductive health, and we're covering it all. Birth control, pregnancy, gender, bodily autonomy, menopause, consent, sperm, so many stories about sperm. And of course, the joys and absurdities of raising kids of all ages. If you're new to the show, check out an episode called The Staircase.
It's a personal story of mine about trying to get my kids school to teach sex ed. Spoiler, I get it to happen, but not at all in the way that I wanted. We also talked to plenty of non-parents, so you don't have to be a parent to listen. If you like surprising, funny, poignant stories about human relationships, and you know, periods, the longest shortest time is for you.
Find us in any podcast app or at Longest ShortestTime.com.

