Episode Five

[MUSIC] [BLANK_AUDIO]

“It was impossible to even consider Marta, the strongest of us, lost, consumed by her past self in some parallel universe.”

Elvin, you have to find her.

I am searching. I'll do it better. Find her, damn it! This is on you, Deadpool. Just shut up, everyone, so I can hear.

Naomi, we don't know anything for sure. [MUSIC] We've got her. [MUSIC] Woo!

Oh, yeah, let's go. Thank God she was back. Right in front of us again, standing, blinking, whole. I grabbed and hugged her as tight as I ever had anyone. Are you all right?

Oh, God, if anything happened, Marta talked to me.

Oh, I'm fine, Marshall. Hold it. I'm a little naked here. Oh, geez. Of course, I was, we were so worried.

Rob, right here. [MUSIC] It's okay, Marshall. Thanks for caring. Of course.

I do. I could see it.

“Right there in his eyes so close to behind.”

Whatever else, Marshall grew some might be. I knew it and he didn't want to hurt me. Maybe to do something else, go together. [MUSIC] And maybe that wasn't such a terrible idea.

But that's not who ended up looking on my door later that night. [MUSIC] I come bearing gifts. Gilles, at two in the morning. The best kind come at two in the morning.

It was a long day. Voilà, a dirty picture of our man of mister. The man our dirty doctor rose meets. Oh, great. Did your friend get his name?

No, no credit card receipts, only pays with cash. I've seen this guy. I can't remember when. Where? I also run this photo through my face recognition system.

Here's what came up. A whole way full of people. Passions monami. Oh no. No.

Here. In the complex, she can answer it. Marshall grew some might told you we dirty. Marshall, are you bad or being played? [MUSIC]

Marta's struggle was with unknown human motivations. Richen instead was now juggling two assistants with very clear competing ones. [MUSIC] I'm right.

I will always be righter than you.

Elvin, Leonard, to your corners. Now, where are we on targeting specific universes? This will be our system. We will painstakingly determine the unique electronic magnetic gravitational and quantum identifiers. Yeah, I can see how that might work, eventually.

Or we can just listen to the music.

“You know, Deadwiler, I think you just summarized your whole approach to research.”

You're always looking for some. Kim make, looking. Finding. You want to be the big shot who publishes the paper? Fine.

I just want results. The old UHF waves created by over the air TV broadcasts are still bouncing around in space. The strength of any such signal, particularly a signal that 70 or 80 years old would be so weak as to be undetectable. Get over and over again. We've heard the I look lousy theme at the initiation of a projection.

And the other themes? Twice we heard the lousy theme transition to blowing smoke. And there was the my uncle the Edzel thing when Marshall landed in Lizardland. And I think the just one dyke show. Ridiculous.

Let work, Elvin. We'll focus on this phenomenon and initiate a series of simple one and two week jumps to the past. It was up to me to deliver the news to the travelers that they weren't in fact going to be traveling.

No, all these missions are strictly routine.

You three would be bored. Frank. Get to go. Yes. Let it rose made a big deal about that.

But Frank does need the experience. Your experience makes a three of you too valuable to risk on these no brainers. Relax, Marshall. Now we get to watch a bunch of other people get naked. Hey, I'll bring the popcorn.

It'll be fun. In truth, they had me to blame. I'd argue to stand them down because I didn't trust Martha. I feared a scenario in which she might target one of the new travelers for another accident. For two weeks, Sheila, Marta and I watched Navas Travelers blink off into the recent past.

An exercise in tedium. Sheila made jokes.

Marta loosened up a little and shared the banter usually focused at me.

It's wrong, Marshall. You seem... I don't know. Glam? Glam?

Who uses words like Glam? You sound like my apartment. Not Glam? Well, you're something.

“I mean, you're not still upset because we aren't the ones up there freezing our fanies off?”

No. What's wrong then? I agree with Sheila. You're Glam. Oh.

I know. Marshall, that's just silly. But we've been watching Travelers for two weeks now. And no one else has gotten a boner. Sheila?

Well, it's true, isn't it? I mean... It's just 'cause they're in the cold-bonger, well, Elvin searches for the perfect spot. I just thought once the other guys got involved,

I'd at least have some fellow travelers. They would seem more normal for... You're who up to get to one. That's the important thing. Sheila's not up there with those other guys.

Hmm. Oh, what can I say? What can I say?

“To truth was that we three were trying to keep our minds off our real worry,”

endangering every universe, including ours, with each jump. When it rose, per usual had the loudest opinion. Screw the ethics. These other universes existed our pleasure, not the other way around. Of course, you have the Dark Ages view.

Were the center of everything, right? Oh, please. These other places are probably just boring, exact replicas of us. As it turns out, brief missions did not mean boring. Turns out Marshall's reptilian universe

was not the only evolutionary surprise. The good night show universe was no problem. Everything familiar. Citizens of the Bong show universe, though, looked as if they'd been painted by Pablo Picasso, and beings from the rice's bright appeared perfectly normal, but squawked like parrots.

The humanistic insects that populated Mr. Fred gave Frank nightmares for weeks. Although he had to admit, even as a praying mantis, Sheila was hot. Frank was also suffering a crisis of sexual confidence. After half dozen jumps to the past and he next to attractive nude women like Carlo O'Neill, Frank had become concerned that he didn't respond.

Not even a little.

“Under the glare of spotlight and the nip of air conditioning,”

his one's faithful companion refused to respond. His willy was worthless. Then, calamity struck. Christ Elvin, were freezing up here, catch a hurrying up! They've been up there a long time, Elvin. We should give them a break.

Alright, take 10 minutes. I keep hearing snippets, but I can't quite tune into the music. And I don't want to miss this one. I do go on Marsha. Let's take a break.

Gladly. Sheila? No thanks. I do so enjoy watching Frank's suffer. Elvin, we don't want to miss any of them.

Yeah, but we do miss, don't we? We're only hitting our destination universe half the time. This one could be a big deal. Which theme? Fuming firearms.

I first picked up a faint signal three days ago,

and I found it a couple of times since. Each time the signal seems stronger. So what's the significance? Next to I look Lousy, Fuming firearms might be the most broadcast show in history.

Think of all the universes arrayed alongside each other in a sort of bandwidth, like FM radio. Firearms would be very close to us on this spectrum, biologically identical, as opposed to our praying mantis pals.

In the vex instant, the Fuming firearms theme song "Blair" through the lab. Focusing technicians to thank the headsets off and on the projection platform, Connor O'Neill's creamed and collapsed.

I rushed to her. She could only speak to me in weak whisper.

I'm here from the future,

and there's been a catastrophe. What? Where's the future? Carlo whispered another few words and lost consciousness. I called for a medical team,

then I relayed the rest of her message. She said there's been a disaster, but the, well, us from firearms, think we,

the we here, might be able to reverse it. How? What do we do? She said Elvin will be here at any moment,

and he'll know what to do. What? What do you mean Elvin will be here? I'm right here. I think she means the firearms Elvin.

Well, I'm not a traveler. I can't. I wouldn't. It's not safe. I'm the intellectual property.

“Remember, I'm the one we can't afford to risk.”

Calum Gretchen, you did update the list since you realized homogeneous. Elvin, there is no list. If our firearms counterparts are projecting you into this plan of existence,

they must consider the situation critical.

Shit. Shit. They can't do this. There's a good chance they won't even get me here. Elvin began to bob and weave around the projection lab,

then hits under a desk. Elvin, settle down. It's not like you can duck. Run. Just run.

No, I can't escape that way. Wait, how long has it been? Five minutes. Five minutes. They missed.

Fuck this. Let the Elvin from some other universe get molested by the future. Elvin pulled himself together. So crawls from under the desk.

Stood as if nothing had happened. Then.

“And the Elvin from some other universe get molested.”

You cock suckers.

I'll get you for this if it's the last thing I...

Holy shit. I'm here, aren't I? You idiot! Why did you let them? Back off, Dipshit. I didn't let them.

They ganged up on me. Elvin tried to escape again. We had to seal the lab door. She let tackled him, rolled him on his back, straddled him, and put the hands around his neck.

So, help me, Elvin. If you don't tell us what's going on here, all throughout all you. Elvin made one more time to struggle. Then became calm. Let me up.

I understand. We got to send Frank back now. From Frank's perspective, as a spectator, he had found this unfolding drama and detaining until every eye in the room whipped from Sheila and Elvin to him.

Send Frank? Who? You mean me? No way, man. They know you're right here, Frank.

Ready to go. They want you to try and stop it. Stop what? Okay, I'm turning this explanation thing over, too. The other me.

Go ahead. Gretchen.

“Remember your concern that if matter from one universe”

contacted matter from another universe, one of the universes might be destroyed? Yes, but, oh no. But, there is no exchange of matter. This is an exchange mission.

The two universes are exchanging travelers, so each can change the past of the other, proving to investors that each universe is past and be changed. But, apparently, the timing was such that the travelers met themselves in a limbo.

Something catastrophic happened, and this other universe. Well, the Malamu Bumkin has been cancelled. All right, screw the ethics, Dr. Rose. Screw the ethics? How many billions do you think we just killed?

We didn't kill anyone. Those people from that other universe. Please, just don't get it, do you? We are those other people. We are them. They are us.

This is not the time for debate. Elvin, what do we do? They want us to project Frank two hours into firearms this past. He needs to disrupt the projections timing. Frank was supposed to be inside observing,

but he snuck out to the hallway to smoke a cigarette. Frank, you can't violate medical protocol like that. Sometimes I bum a smoke when I'm nervous. We'll discuss it later. It's a good thing he's there.

They don't want to target someone in the projections lab. They chose Carla before they realized the danger if she met herself on the way. They chose me because I'm not a traveler, and I have the technical knowledge.

And Frank's outside smoking. And this won't work. Mission rules prohibit anyone entering or leaving the lab during a projection because of the airlock. And now while we, they thought of that too.

Apparently Frank has a sporadic thing with Betty, the receptionist, and he's supposed to be able to talk her into letting you in. That still won't work. Only Naomi and I have the codes to open the airlock under those circumstances.

Frank is supposed to tell Betty to ask for Naomi.

They said Naomi is most likely to listen and bend the rules. If we don't stop this thing, Malibu Bumpkins is toast, and so we're two of our travelers. Who are the travelers? They don't want to get into that right now.

They don't know for sure. That's the real point. We don't know what we're doing. They're trying to fix it. Elven, can you find firearms?

I probably couldn't manage to do it quickly enough. But my future counterpart can nail that sucker no sweat. Then let's go. Everyone's scrambled, except. Wait a minute.

Everyone stopped.

We just found out two travelers got fried.

“Should we maybe think this thing through before we do anything rash?”

Frank felt the unmistakable presence of Sheila Shula behind him. He didn't realize she could leave him so... ...manacingly. Get up there, ask White. Frank typically coped with the limbo's eternity by letting his mind go slack.

A condition which he found easy to achieve. This time though, was different. He was not indifferent to the plight of billions of innocence in other universes. He didn't care what happened to the lizards or the boats. But humans like him were a different matter.

Somewhere, a Frank would be swept into oblivion. And that Frank had a mom and dad in siblings. Who wouldn't survive unless he fixed this. And if I go, I'm leaving.

So, as he burst into the consciousness of his fuming fire, armself.

And a bank of exhaust fans, he felt consumed with urgency. He allowed Frank one last drag on a cigarette. Then marched into the reception area and found... ...not petty.

“In her place, sat a thin blonde woman with glasses.”

And an officious air about her. Where's Betty? I don't know. I'm intent from the administrative secretarial pool. May I help you?

Yeah, I'm Frank Altman. I'm a traveler and I need to get into the projection lab. Well, if you're a traveler, you know the rules. Of course, I know... ...once a mission checklist is started, no one enters or exits.

That's what they told me. Yes, but this is an emergency. They didn't say anything about emergencies. It's a life-and-death emergency. Nothing I read makes any distinction about life and death.

Life and death on a scale you can't begin to imagine. They are about to make a horrible mistake, and I've been sent to warn them. You're the guy who is over there smoking. I saw you on my monitor. Well, yes, I am.

“So, on your way to rescue us from calamity, you had time to stop and be foul the air.”

Just... just go to the intercom and ask for Naomi. Tell her Frank is outside and has a vital message from the... ...I look lousy universe. I'm to ask for Naomi? Yes.

Naomi, who? Yes. What? And an entire universe, home to planets and civilizations and dolphins and kittens and spiders. Once again, melted into oblivion.

Ah, no. So, we send him again. Betty, I'm sorry. I meant to call. I was just in training.

Yeah, I know exactly what kind, too. Blond-bembo training. Get the hell outta here. Security. Damn it.

And again. Look, man, I know your security, but Betty would let me through. We're really close, you know? You know? Sure.

Really? Really? The universe needs me. Every time Malibu Bumkin's bit the dust. Oh, Gretchen, just send me.

Is Frank the guy you'd pick to save a universe? There's no point. We can't change it. You might as well let the others back in the lab. We're calling it.

Marshall! Marda! What do you see?

Oh, just the unraveling of the universe. No biggie, according to Gretchen and Leonard Fuckin' Rose. No, I never said that. I did. Elven and I have discussed historical entrangements for a while now.

And this only bolsters our suspicions.

“I believe we could go through this exercise a thousand times”

and the outcome will always be the same.

What outcome? So, I, uh, I kind of didn't save the Malibu Bumkin's universe. Guys, I tried, though, like a, like a lot. Unexpected. Thank you, Frank.

A lot. Frank, go ahead to the locker room. And I'll be along soon for your interview. No! No, we can't stop trying.

Clearly, that past is not cast and stone. Look at all the subtle variations we've encountered. Yes, subtle variations. But the major overwhelming historical fact, the death of a universe remains unchanged.

I've been running computer models which support that inevitability Gretchen. We have a theory. And think of time of history as a vast river with a strong current. Okay?

Anything caught in the mainstream of that current will be swept along with inevitable results.

Close to shore, though, you'll find backwaters and eddies, contradictions that allow minor events to find alternate paths. Major events won't change. Ah, so, drawn to F. Kennedy, stuck in the car in Dallas. Shot every time.

But the schoolboy witnessing it from a nearby balcony might be at an ice cream truck in a different universe. No, you don't matter to history. Your life stays much more flexible. Ouch.

“Did your future counterpart agree with your theory?”

We were busy. We didn't discuss it. So, we just let this entire universe die. We can't make it better. Only worse.

Which is what I've been arguing all along. We have to stop. We know right. We have every right. We've got more than a right, scientific imperative.

This is no different from any other frontier. And on what other frontier did we destroy entire universes? We don't know what we're doing. We'll see you later. We have to be more careful and more mindful of consequences.

But remember, this is history too. We can't simply walk away. I bet if we tried history wouldn't let us. Yeah? Well, I can walk away.

Just watch me. What? No. If you do, you'll forfeit everything.

“And I'm not about to let you march out the door.”

With your attitude, you'd be the biggest security risk. You're not in charge here.

Sheila, your experience is critical to this program.

You can do what you want. I'm thrilled. You have become our nagging conscience. If anything, your responsibility to this program has become greater than it was a few hours ago. And Sheila, they'll ruin you if you walk.

I've seen you happen. We've put in. Look, the best place to give voice to your cause is from within. Once you step outside, you have no voice at all. See?

They'll silence you. Yeah. Well, who the hell here is listening? We are. Believe me.

Breaching and I will listen. Yeah, Sheila, I'll be more careful too. Things are trickier, and I thought. Right now, I have to get a lot of things written down before they drain from my head. How long do you think I've got?

I leave technical stuff. Probably about 10 minutes. Why don't we get Frank's debriefing underway? Give Elvin some space? Elvin typed as long as memories popped up, which has been he realized. He wasn't actually alone.

Who are the travelers? Oh, Sheila, back off. The ones who died. I don't know. Yes, you do.

There's no way future Elvin kept a trauma response that intense out of his head. I can't. Don't say you can't remember. I've been through this more than a dozen times. Emotional memories last far longer than intellectual concepts.

So, who was it? Carla. Who else? Marshall and Marta were also on the team. You said two travelers were killed.

Fine. Only Marta survived. Marshall didn't make it back. Taking time is a production of Voyage Media. The series is produced by Naimondal and Dan Bautamor.

Executive produced by Mike Murphy and Nancy Murphy. Based on Mike's novel, A Tale of Physics, Lust and Greed.

A link is in the show notes.

“Written by Mike Murphy and Melanie Hooks.”

Story produced by Joshua Malcolm.

Directed by Dan Bautamor.

Starring Ray Carcila as Marshall.

Rochelle Simpson as Sheila. Rachel Pate as Marta. Cheryl Chong as Naomi. And Sydney Shiotani as Gretchen.

“Additional cast credits available in the show notes.”

Edited Sound Design and Mixed by Joel Lippon. Original music by Duralist and Dollars.

“If you're enjoying the show, please leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.”

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