The Adventure Zone Versus The Wonderful Wizard of Oz: Live in St. Paul!

I haven't learned for my munchkin friend in, oh such a long time.

“I am worried, something's gonna be right.”

I suppose I will have to investigate, but just in case something goes, a riot! I am instructing Mr. Bubble to go fetch three heroes of the realm, and you know who

I'm talking about, no sense in putting it off, let's get this shit started!

That's right, buckle up, mother fuckers! That's also what he says to his kids when they get in the car. You know who has two thumbs in his DM and this one, this guy! Oh no, bad news guys, he told us to look backstage, he was preparing for 20 minutes people chatting his name, I don't think we have enough material to get through the whole act.

Tonight, welcome to Taz versus the wonderful Wizard of Oz, so important that that part is on there.

“Please, we didn't have room for it on the slide, but please know it's the wonderful Wizard of Oz, since that's the only thing that is in the public domain.”

You can't tell, but that's a lowercase w, it should say A Wizard of Oz, the idea of a Wizard of Oz. Why don't you introduce yourselves as people before you introduce yourselves as characters? I'll start with Justin, my name is Justin McHeroi and this is just a place for me to sort of scribble in whatever personal details I've ever done this in 17 years of podcasting, so like an icebreaker, something and two screws and a lime.

Scorpio is that, you're never going to believe this, but I'm a Scorpio too.

“That's so crazy, and that's the first thing you need to know about me, the second thing is my name Travis McHeroi.”

But I think that Scorpio defines me way more, but I haven't looked into it or anything, I don't know what it means, but I'm Griffin McHeroi, the youngest. Thank you. I'm in areas, but that's not one of the good ones from what I understand, so I don't tell. I'm all areas, yeah. I'm Clint McHeroi and I'm a Leo, yeah you are, lead us, lead us, you proud lion. I like long walks on the beach, that's categorically untrue, like long walks, fucking anywhere, man. I don't walk anywhere, yeah. All right, shall we get started? Please, yeah.

Before we do, does anybody have a spare D20? R. This is real, you. All right, very impractical. Oh, you just wait. You want to talk in practical. Wait till he brings out the big D20.

All right, we are no longer in the land of a thousand lakes, but in the woods, but in the wood,

You are the audience at the roast of Winnie the Pooh.

Oh, great. Cool, cool and great. They have brought in a couple of very special guests to do this roasting. And when you say, "Hey, do you meet Christopher Robin?" because if so, that's really fucked up. He goes by C dog now. He's 20. He had a piglet teamed up on it. Piglet was like, "All burn him down."

Yeah. I'm going to get his ass. Don't hold back. I don't actually think Piglets are allowed to be on stage tonight. I think Piglet actually. And Tigger, when I'm even mentioning Tigger, do a case Piglet just a small pig. Yeah, talking pig.

That was around.

We have heard from a rabbit and a donkey that was kind of bummed out.

Most donkey's are, though. I'm a nondoscript, sad dog.

“So Justin, why don't we let one and two introduce your care?”

Now, introduce yourself the audience because you guys are not from the 100 acre woods. So maybe they don't know who you are. Introduce yourself and take your shots at poo. Greetings. My name is Lady Galtwin. (applause)

Brother, nice surprise. Flattered, I suppose. It's still surprised by the reception. I'm here to roast the poo, isn't it? Funny how a bear likes honey, buzz, buzz, buzz.

I wonder why he does, could it be syphilis? (laughter) We all know that honey is one of the great natural shores for the flirts come up and say, Emma, not too discreetly drawing parallels. Between Winnie the Pooh and his consumption of that product,

and those who do have the sexually transmitted illness of syphilis. Not there's any shame in that. We've all had a roll-aque within, I suppose. If you get it treated, no harm, no foul.

“But I think Winnie the Pooh is syphilis.”

I've never done a roast before, all apologies.

Travis, your turn. Follow that. Hey, man, everybody, it's me Crawford and Montenir, coming mud, everybody does. You may not know this, but I'm a king of England. So believe me, when I say this guy's a royal pain.

And I'm trying to describe what this bear looks like, but my memory's a little fuzzy. I remember when I met Winnie the Pooh back in college, and back then we just called them Winnie, but this gun is still like shit. And the name just kind of stuck. Hey, little hanging fruit.

I thought we all agreed. We went going to do the Pooh thing. I didn't agree to nothing. Okay. This old bear is so silly. Wow. That when I told him, "Oh, silly, Emma." Thank you. That was your part. Then when I said, "Do you want to go to the mall?"

He tore a guy to shreds.

“That's what-- Well, they're giving me the light.”

That's what's on. That's what-- That's actually a true story. That did happen. That's why I have to wear this ankle monitor. Plain the part of the master of Dad jokes tonight will be Travis Mackelroy. That's an honor coming from you. Yeah. Now, I learned it from watching you, Dad.

A man who literally showed me a book earlier that it said more great Dad jokes. At this point, the roastmaster. Thank you. Thank you for updating the slide, Paul. Leave whatever pictures you have to take in. They're no longer legally defendable. It's the roastmaster. He knows where the green is. It's near the blue.

The roastmaster lumpy the insult comic couple of steps up to the podium and says, "Well, you know, it's really important that we give our roastee a chance to

You guys can see him too, right?

Yeah, I'm pretty drunk. Okay. Thank you, Christ. Thank you all for being here. I'm Winnie the Pooh, from the Hundred Acre Wood, a construct of a child's imagination. Yet here I am. I want to thank Fred Durst and his great, great-great-grandmother for being here tonight. You know, not an intelligent man. Unfit to be the manager of a Cracker Barrel restaurant, let alone King of England.

Yeah, I did your vire from Cracker Barrel, that's it.

Lady Godwin actually frightens me quite a bit. So I'll just say kind of looks like

“if Joy Beehaw was in a terrible car accident. Oh, was that too much?”

It feels like it in the moment. I feel like we've discovered a whole new form for the show. Yeah, why do you stories, Lady Godwin? It's a dead end. It's called my brother, my brother, really, we already did. We just insult each other for an hour. Suddenly, yeah, a large iridescent pink bubble. I'm talking like 10 feet of cross, coming down from the sky. The hundred Acre Wood's denizens all scatter,

but you three. Cowards. After herlling some epithets their ways, stay there. It lands. It settles gently in front of you and a hatchway opens up in the bubble. What do you do?

Is this something you guys know about? Have you done bubble? This is only like the third

time we've hung out. Does bubble stuff usually happen to you guys? Do I have eyes on Christopher Robin

“as he or C Robin is here around? They're all kind of quaking at the edge, but I think you could”

probably see. I want to see how, yeah, because I don't know if some people hire a Glanda impersonator sometimes for a party or an event. So I want to clock C Robin and see how he's feeling about this. Give me a perception check. Okay, Dad, I'll just do that for you. No problem. That Mac is going to be a 15. I think that's good enough. You do catch Christopher Robin's eyes and he's going. This isn't your thing, C Robin. Okay, I'll hand it to this man. As King

of England, I welcome you to Earth, we surrender. I'm well handled. One time I got trapped in a big soap bubble and it was very whimsical and quite fun. It feels like we should get up in this one too. Is it empty? Oh, it's, yeah, it's empty. I mean, why did you say it like that? Dude, if we get in there there's a fucking woman. Hey, I want another perception check, Dad. Hey, I'm looking again in this

“cookie bubble. You're as that mayor may not be kind of empty. It's a 12. What's it look like in there?”

There's, I mean, there's like a standard dashboard. You're just your standard, just a factory standard bubble dashboard. It's like you see. It's in a lot for a 12 Mac. All right, now I'm going to charge charge in there. Charge in, all right. I walk in because it's a bubble and I don't want to bother. That's a good idea. I know Christopher. This is totally fucking part of it, guys. This is totally part of it and it's going to take us to the casino or whatever.

All right, see Rob, is this that crypto bubble you were telling me about? I did not prepare a Christopher Robin voice. Yeah, wait, I didn't know it was in the opposite that what we didn't have a voice ready. We could just go, no, fire on the fire on the farm. I do it. I don't know. Dad, it changed in the fucking game tonight, dude. You step on to the bubble. Yeah. And their lane on the dashboard is a card and it reads, your help is needed. An entire

world is at stake. Help us, three heroes of the realm. You're our only hope. And as soon as you board, the hatch slammed shut mine. And the bubble zooms into the sky. And we're off the Save

played this character twice. Dad, that's a 25 for me. Wow. 16 for nine. Ooh. Well, this bubble

“starts a rock and wait. Wait. Wait. For traditional turbulence reasons. Well, actually no. You too.”

Dad, I want to be clear. I got a 25 in athletics. You're good. You're good. I'm good. It's great. Wait, wait. Wait. Am I rocking myself? No, but they are nice and secure. And you're having trouble finding your footing. This is making the bubble shift all around and swear all around. What do you two do while he's stumbling and bumbling? I'm watching.

Did you hear some of this shit he said about? Yeah, that's horrific.

I, I, when I got a 25 in my head, I imagine that I jumped up on two counters like John Call Van Dam and Tom Cobb. Oh, yeah. So in my unfortunately, in my imagination, I'm unable to help at this time. I see. I'll help. I'll lay my soft cushy body underneath him in the least erotic way, imaginable. Well, yeah, because we don't want to add to the rock and no, we certainly don't plant. Okay, that, that saves much from having to take any damage. Okay. The bubble settles down,

travels through the clouds. It comes back down just outside of the gates of a gleaming green city. It's beautiful. And it's almost really speed running this one. It's almost gem-like. So you land, you mean like, uh, weight benches and shit. No, let me, let me, let me say it clearer. Gem. I got it.

John. John. John. It's truly outrageous. Yeah, sir, Tom. No, a gym like as you might expect. That was the correct response to that job. By the way, you guys crushed it 100%. So as you can imagine, it looks like, well, and paradox. Point of order. Do we know about the Wizard of Oz? Our characters? Do we know about the Wizard of Oz? You mean, it's our cake.

Hey, it's not our cake, you. Shell. You're not my dad. That's my dad. Nice try. I would say no. Okay, great. Correct. Oh, my dad. I should jump to see. The bubble stops

“the hatch opens up and you emerge from the bubble. What do you do?”

Wow, I home my breath, because I don't know if there's oxygen on this planet. Good idea. Give me, give me a science check. Well, that's not a skill. That's not a skill. Nature, the opposite. Cool. That is an 18 plus four for a 22. Yeah. Take a deep breath. And your lungs feel with sweet sweet oxygen. I'll trust you. I'm glad you got one on the ground. She rolled a three. She can figure it out. Do I need to roll to see if I can breathe?

If I know. No, I don't think so. Because you're all full of stuff, right? Let's get this clear, because trust me, this will factor in later. Okay. I want to say a huge thanks to our business manager Amanda who helped Dad in preparing some of this show. Sure,

yeah. And did some incredible work both of you together. And then today in the car ride

“from the airport to the hotel, Dad looked at me and said, is Winnie the Pooh made of stuffing or meat?”

And I was like, and I was like, well stuffing, I guess. And then him and Amanda shared a look. That suggested a conversation or a disagreement and taking place long before hand. Like, hmm, don't you so. I looked down at my ankle monitor. Let's go, I go. And I say, oh, boulder. I used Jennifer Myers to cut the ankle bracelet off. It's not an ankle bracelet. Oh, God. Okay, give me something roll. That's a tack roll against

can do to it. Hey, cool monitor. But I throw it back in the bubble. So it'll zip back to your house

“or wherever you are. Sure. So on their radar or whatever, it's going to look like I just suddenly”

took flight to another one. What I looked like is you got to do it and it's like, no, I can't do this. I'm on house arrest. I have to go back. Okay. I'm, I'm square. No, that was my big story. Oh, don't look. We got more. A window set into the gate opens up and a man dressed all in green. I love this except for the hat. Yeah, well, you try to put it up. Okay. With a droopy mustache and a short hair and twin curls on the top of his head that you cannot see

because he just put a hat on, right? Says, "Where you want?" And man, you send the bubble for us, dude. I don't know what you want. Yeah, let's take a don't know. Let's take a don't know. Hey, you're not who I was expecting at all. Who are you expecting? Well, I was expecting the three protectors of the rail. Yeah, that's us, man. I don't know. Well, one of us subs in and out depending on on who's DMing? Yeah. Oh, well. I don't know if I should let you in or not. I mean these.

“My arms. And I've got scalpers in my magical sword of the King England. Is that your anything for you?”

What about you? I mean, I'll cast a spell. I never get to do this because

okay, I'm going to cast a misty step and just teleport like five feet to the left. How does that shake your partner? I had a magic spell myself once. Come on in! Were you married to it? He introduces himself as Lord Grouley. Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm a king just over the where the kind of hierarchy. Well, that was understand. That was the role that I played in the Mag C.T. Production of Wizard of Oz, Lord Grouley. So Justin's going to have a lot of notes for

dancer to do outside into the role. I really want to mile in his shoes. Sure. He says, well, come to the Emerald City and lead you into the only structure near the gate. I'm so sorry. He's every building in this whole city made out of the precious gemstone emeralds. What? Yes. So it must get just hell a hot around noon or whatever when the sun's kind of cutting through, right? Blind in. It's it's not good. And I would imagine not a lot of privacy.

No, no privacy whatsoever. But hell's fired to our plants grow.

“I like the sound of that. Do you have emeralds just laying around that we could take with us?”

Because they're actually worth a great deal where we come from. We'll talk. He leads you into the only structure that you can see. And that's a gift shop. You walk into the gift shop and you notice the shelves are almost almost completely empty. They got any magnets.

What would they stick magnets? Oh. No. The 10, man. Okay. Damn. You always think one step ahead, man. You're such a fucking pro.

Thank you. Or growly tells you things are bad here in the Emerald City. Tourism is dropped right through the floor. The beauty shops of all clothes. Nobody comes to get their metal bodies buffed out. We've really, I suspect civic service you got, man. Yeah. Of all the things you listed as part of your tourism package. That seems a little bit of business. A man showed a business was pretty bad. Self-explanatory, then, I suppose. We really have had to rely on Glynda the good witch of the south.

She's too busy fending off occasional attacks of flying monkeys in the occasional wheelie. And is it really that up on city management? Wow.

What a whimsical situation you've got going on here. But also incredibly depressing, man. That's amazing.

You rarely get things that are so whimsical and sad. Well, it's about to get sadder. Awesome. Cool. There was this big bruh-ha-ha in Munchkinland and she went to go check it out. This has been like two weeks ago. We haven't heard from her since. Do you call her? No, no, no. It's odds.

the three heroes of the realm called Mr. Bubble. Well, I sort of ran out of a creativity after I

came up with whole paradigm. Joke. But he grabbed you three instead. We can fetch a witch. That's so funny with you. Would you fly to Munchkinland and see what happened to you? Do you have to take the bubble again? He had a real hard time with it. It's not a shit, man. It's shit. Like five times in that bubble. I just, I got my bubble ex-unner me. Well, it's just sitting there. I mean, I don't know how to work it,

but I mean, maybe you could, you know, take it if you want. It looks like you know how to work it.

Damn, whiny. Okay, I've never not trolling. Always don't. I'm going to, I'm just like

in college, my dude's not like shit, but locked it down left and right. You miss 100% of the

“shots you don't take. Yeah, man. That's what Jesus said. So, what do you decide to do?”

It's a road of any kinds of break that we could walk or so we try to figure out how to steer the bubble. I think you can do both. There is a road. We'll roll it. Get in the bubble and start running. Now we're talking. All right. Can I hamster wheel the bubble right down the- Oh, that will be funny. Yeah. You die, but it would be- You don't know that. The dice will the side of we die or not. That's why they're called die. You know, I- I know. That's good. Thank you. My dad taught me. Before you go,

I hate to send you off without any help at all. It just so happens that we have three swag bags. Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah, man. Um, a red one, a gold one, and a white one. Somebody

“of each of you roll a 20. Roll a D20. Why are you saying- Why did you say- What does that mean?”

I mean- I got a knot 20. Wow. Wow. I got an 11. 19 for me.

So, you get to pick first, but you say a red, white, and gold? Red, white, and gold. I think you go,

I mean. The gold. But that's the color of sticky honey. Inside? Inside? That swag bag is a gold medal. That's cool. Oh, sick, man. With courage written on it. Please give this to much. You got all that- Hold on. I've been dreaming of this moment my entire life. It felt as good as I thought it would. It get a medal from our dad. Hey, this is nice and all, man, but you don't want for like curl and or something. Just hold on. Thank you, Godwin.

If we don't steal some valor every show, I just don't know what to do with myself. Well, let me tell you this. That medal will give you plus three on intimidation. Like what does that mean? You keep saying there's no moves. Alright, let me try it again. That medal will give you plus three on intimidation checks. Okay, is it getting plus three to button it on? Yeah, it sounds so paternal right. It's like very badly. Well, he got one. You choose next. Red or white? Red for me, please.

Red. Cool. You get this beautiful heart with a clock inside of it. This will give you plus three on persuasion checks. And I guess I'll take the snickle fritz. You take the white and you receive this diploma. How did you know it was going to have my name on it? Because I had two more.

“I planned this shit. Always let him see your work and dad. That's what I've heard.”

I can't read any of these words. Well, you can now because it gives plus three on intelligence checks. Hold on. And you can magically read. I don't care what happens. The rest of this adventure. You just gave Winnie the Pooh the power of literacy. This is a really meaningful moment in his life. I guess maybe your head isn't just stuck with stuff. So if you're made of stuff and when you eat honey, is it just gumming up in there?

All right, more growling leads you back to the end of the sort of amber resin.

More growling leads you back out the gate and up to the back to the bubble. What do you do? Hop on it. I get in. I start pushing buttons. You start pushing buttons and as soon as you're ready, God won't get to it. Thank you. Okay, you push a button and nothing happens. Except a glove compartment opens and out pop three BADs. What's that means? Well, someone the BAD.

Ask dice. We did. Oh my god, he did have bigger dice. I take back. I take back what I said earlier.

You really did have bigger dice and I really did have bigger dice.

“Now the BADs are very special. Okay, there's one's per act. What's this act? What's next?”

We got you. You can roll your big ass die. Yeah. And you get advantage on whatever role that is. Okay. So it's your choice. But you cannot use them more than once an act. Per act. Yeah, you made that explicitly. Exactly. Exactly. That if we use them in this act. And then the next act can't use it next act. No. No, you can't use it the next. What? So as many times as we want. Unliminary act. Now this is important if I don't use it this

act. No, you cannot stop. So you don't use it you lose it. For every action you take, you get to roll the big dice. Okay. All right, you're not going to get the bubble to work just because we're on it at a time. So Lord Grelie sticks his head back out and says you're still here. Yeah, man, you do it.

“I think your only option is to follow the yellow brick road. Yeah, but we would say we would do it like moments ago.”

And then you got all weird about it. Okay. Take a walk. I shall. I shall the bubble down a hill at anger. Oh, that's good. That's good. I don't know if there's no way I would incorporate it to come in again later in the game. Well, you're welcome. Just as actions have made that impossible. Yeah. All right, you start walking. I want to know what you're doing. What do you do? Oh, you're running. So you're not staying with the group. No, I assume they're running too. Yeah, we're all really

so run now. Yeah, I go beast heel all fours. All right. I want to know what are you doing to pass the time while you walk. Screaming. Screaming at how hard we're running. And it's really cool. I use wild shape and turn into a war horse. Very cool. Are you guys talking about anything? I ride that horse. I'm a war. I can't talk to you. I ride the horse with my sword held high. You guys can book it on me. I'm cheap. We ride on him. I ride on him. I try to talk to you inanimate objects on the way.

I'm off chance that they have a soul in the wizard vase you never know. We're oiling everything we see.

Yeah. In case it's just stuck in one position. Yeah. So is this horse made out of meat? Or you know, it's fucked up when I when I wild shape. It is meat.

“Okay. That's the only way he can digest the honey. Yes. Okay. Okay. So it's like a juice clip.”

Well, sort of. I just kind of wild shape like a raccoon stomach inside of my plushy foot. It's not great in there, guys. I warned you. All right. So you're going along for a few minutes and it's been eight hours. Making some. It's been eight hours. Somebody. No, all three. Be give me a perception role. Okay. As a horse. My stats are too different. You don't see shit. Okay.

17 plus 3 20 30. I got a 3 plus 7 10. Okay. Poo. Yeah. You notice a sign. It's it's kind of off to the side and it's, you know, it's it's obscured a little bit, but you can make out that it says 40 winkies botanical garden. I got a man 40 winkies. Sorry. Is that botanical? Yeah. All right. Is he is he pulling towards it or away from it? Oh, well, you're going towards the sign. But since that was a dirty 20. I'm also going to give you the fact. Yeah, that you look around. And you notice that you have wandered into the middle of a gigantic field of

I'm doing it. Yeah. Yeah. No, I got him. Man, I'm, yeah. Hey, I'm going to walk a lot. I was pretty drunk at the park. We were up pre late. 40 winkies sounds pretty good right now. I could really use the rest.

But and God one, give me a medicine check. Can I just grace? I got 17 plus four for a 21. I got a 12. Okay. But you survived. What? Survive?

I'm a kick ass way. That's going to be that's going to do it for Justin everybody. Let's hear please. Hey, everybody, come on to my live solo shows in Toledo. I'm going to be doing a whole new set. See you later. Thank you. Lady Godwin, you fall fast to sleekle, and down amongst the poppies you go, I'm not your with my foot. Right. Sorry, I feel asleep. Get up. Okay. Does my equine constitution not require me to make a

“That's why asked about the meat and the stuff. I didn't clarify that way. We have a mean stubborn lane because I'm starving.”

I did clarify that when I'm in wild shape before my am a meat constern. Give me a medicine check. It's to be fair. I just kidding. I'm a meat.

You're asleep. Yeah, that. Yeah, in a horse form. All right. But I wait on me when I fell fast to sleep. That's not good. You wish you were full of stuff, and now, don't you? A little bit. What are you going to do? I mean, I am pretty tired. I'm saying that just like this gray, but I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. Am I going to do that? Yeah, yeah, I'm going. I'm going to use some in beast. Shit.

And I don't know if this is in public to me, but I want to sew some in court in the elephant to tell all these puppies looking or actually is not. So then just a random elephant who's hungry for puppies. Gordon the pack of their garden the pack of their okay to stop on the 19th of June. I want

“big elephant to come stop on all these puppies. All right, you have to give me a roll for that. I don't think so.”

Okay. No, I just have to concentrate real hard on it. Are you for an hour? Okay, and we'll sleep. Is that all right? Yeah, so we're not for riveting. Yeah, we're going to grab a napbob big spectral elephant stiles on all these flowers. Can I get my wild shape charge back? I'm just kidding. It's not going to be relevant to work. Okay, I don't count. I don't count spell slots anymore. No, you certainly don't.

So what is your elephant friend, dude? He just stomps on all the flowers. Just really messing everything. Did you tell him that he's the clover with whoville was somewhere? That's a lie, man. You can't lie. He didn't exist before I drew him there. He won't exist afterwards. How deep does your morality go, Griffin? He's got a concentration of my mind scape. Yeah, so am I. So are you saying that you successfully stamp out all these puppies? Correct. Okay, I would say that with the stamping

you too, come out of your little nap. Yeah, I was also not going to be fair. I was very tired. And you follow the path of the stomped puppies. Okay. And you have successfully stomped on the flowers, stomped on some flowers. And you're a local biome. I'm I'm 40 wankies. I'm Winnie the Poo. I lost concentration when I fell asleep and I'm not going to do another wild shape charge for the vine like that.

Okay, I'll allow it. But I need all three of you to do a wisdom check. Amazing. I'm so good at

those. I'm worried about what we've just done to the price of opium around. Sixteen wisdom check. I got. Wisdom check or wisdom saving throw. Wisdom check. Got you. Nineteen total. Wow. Five. It's all right. Better to be healthy and wealthy than why is it supposed to

“excuse me. That's what Benjamin Franklin said. Well, sorry. 21 turn. You, you all cleared it.”

Wait, he cleared it on a five. You were all kind of tempted to stay here. Now, not too difficult.

properties. You ain't tell us about it. I thought I did for a second. And then I thought, look, I didn't.

“And we can go. Welcome to this very special. It's very special. It's very special. Taz live show.”

You eventually come to a very large forest. A vast, huge trees. So large that their upper reaches seem to blend into a leafy green canopy. So dense that the shadows blend into an inky morass. God, I hope somebody's writing this down. Like a Jason morass? God, I hope someone wrote that down. Really leaning into me. Verdant Hilux. And I don't even know what a Hilux is. But there they are. They are the part of the live show that AI wrote. And they're the part and

up both sides of the yellow brick road. All three of you give me a perception check.

17 plus four, 21, three plus seven, 10. 17 plus six, 23. 16. Okay. You two here. It's not how much, it's not what you see. It's what you hear. And it's not so much

“what you hear. Awesome. Then what the fuck is it? But how loud it isn't?”

Fuck are you? Guys, this is, I think, well, we all knew this day would come for dad. As you get older, full of that. Let's hear it out. Fill the remainder of our time together. I think it is only prudent for us to assume we are still under the effects of the popping flowers to a certain extent.

Those three bears are right. You pick up on standard wildlife sounds, but they're very

muted. They're not, they're not really, you know, energetic. As you move along, there's another sign along the side of the road. But it's been placed oddly, like so that it's facing away from the road. Can I cast speak with animals to try to hear what these wildlife sounds are in the shock? I'm also going to cast speak with animals because I don't like secrets. Okay. Cool, cool. So I guess we'll just let you know later Jews kind of what the animals

is probably selling about eight corns. I mean, in Baldur's Gate 3, I'm pretty sure there was like a fucking hat. You could wear the let you talk to animals. We'll keep an eye out for something like that for you. Maybe if you press your ear against my ear, I'll just put the time in the learning chip. Okay, great. Okay, so you come across a pride of lions sitting in lawn chairs. What? Some of them are applying sunscreen, one another, a couple of them are reading the latest private selling paperbacks.

Like a lion and winner, pride of the Yankees. Nothing. Now, do you people not read? That's why they're either. I do. The leader of the pride and majestic beast with a full main fetches of white claw out of a cooler. Come on, you're not got that one. Yes, cause. Yeah, they got you. Looks in your direction and says, Hey, what up, man? I say in lion. And all the rest of them echo you and say,

we can actually understand you. So you can actually communicate with us beyond these, that's

“primal ungulations. That's what we said, girl. Oh, I believe, feebly wave their paws in your”

direction. What's wrong? Wait, I don't understand. My friend here asks, what's wrong? Oh, man, nothing's wrong at all. What are things? What's it saying? It said nothing's wrong at all. It seems pretty depressed. We should ask, can you ask why it's depressed? Why are you so slow? You're so sad. This gig is is not what I thought I was going to say. What's it saying? It says that gig isn't what he thought it would be. What did you think it was going to be?

I don't know. I thought it would be a lot more rewarding than this. Yeah. And you see another sign, oddly placed. Yeah. Again, facing away from the road that says no padding. Oh, up ahead, you see a couple of tigers, looming over a gazelle, laying on the ground. Both tigers are on their cell phones. And so is the gazelle that they're looming over. They hear you approach, but they don't even look up as the tigers go

snarl. All right. And the gazelle says, bleed. I call man, we can understand you. Why is everyone so

Well, man, this is just a gig. This is not what I am. You're being paid to sit here in the field

“in a cruel mockery of the circle of life. Yeah. Like a zoo, kind of deal. Yeah. Who's paying you?”

What should I tell you? Just because I'm the king and I pull scalabary in a very scary and timid way. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What are you doing? No, not in a threatening way in an intimidating way. I growling at me. Oh, sorry. No, I explain to them like I'm the king and it's I need information that I post scalabary. Oh, thank you. And what will hopefully be was wondering what he was doing. Great. You know, the craziest thing I thought I was picking it up.

Honestly, I didn't. She thought she was pretty close to figuring out what yeah, I was explaining to her, it's not threat that I was doing, right? And she's like, oh, but he will fuck you up, though. What I don't want to. Are you doing an intimidation? Give me an intimidation check.

“Don't forget your badge Travis. That's why I'm doing it. That's a Nat20. Oh.”

Look, look me. I am the king of the forest. I knew, I, yeah, look, cool. Look, I'm just, I'm just trying to get my union card. Just please. Don't kill me. Oh, hey, well, then. When he screams help, I can't hear his throat from you, you're very close. You notice sound coming from a very large gate for the down the road. And a tall fence stretching out a side on both sides. And there's a sign over it that says, thanks for visiting the wild safari come back soon.

And out of the middle that come from two security gates come for very ferocious looking,

very tall bears. And they come to shoot. And one of the bears says, hey, hey, hold on a second.

Who are you people? I see, it's lines and tigers and the other ones. Oh, shit. You know, we ought to workshop that as a name. That's better than that. Well, I'm the king of any, as I have just proven with my sword held high. Sorry, do you guys speak sort of common, the common tongue? Because I feel like we're really excluding our other friend here. Oh, yeah, well, I'm here to hold this. And I hand them the diplomas.

Two sides when I saw some of these triangles, he was the same side. Wait, it's, it's still not speaking English. But man, if you could hear it, it's free and intelligent. What does that mean? So are you all a celebrity tour? I mean, because we don't open

“for a couple of weeks. Okay, but open what man and who's like a range in this. That's what we want”

to know. To open the wild safari. What do you mean? I have a question. Have you seen

Glynda come through this way? The nice lady with the quavery voice. We've literally never met her.

I don't know. She's a good witch apparently. Oh, the bubble lady. Yeah, bubble lady. Yeah, she flew overhead a couple of weeks ago. Which one? That way, any points towards the gate? Oh, the exit. Wait, you haven't answered my question yet. What's that? What the hell, you're doing walking through our park and we're not even open? Well, the gate was unlocked. Yeah, we didn't climb over any kind of perimeter. Yeah, I don't do an athletic check or nothing.

Well, that gate is unlocked. So I don't know how you're going to get out of here unless you can explain to me who the hell you were. I have an idea we can use the universal language of what? I pull out Jennifer Myers from behind my back. Roll for initiative. Oh, wow. Okay, but before we do that, because we're about to wrap up this act. Make sure you check out the posters in the lobby. Beautiful there. Some out there that we signed.

There's also the Paul Sabore, Sabore in memorial. Tell me about his life coin. Are we wrapping up this act out? I didn't know. There's 23 seconds left on the timer, great thing. Oh, an excellent point. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to leave. We're going to leave on a cliffhanger. Okay. Okay. And we're going to leave back for act 2. Okay. Yeah.

You want to make a website? Good. Good idea. People love those things. What what are you going to

“do with it? That's up to you. Here's the important thing. No matter how you answer that question,”

the company that is going to help you get there is square space. They have incredible website

templates created by some of the best designers in the world. And you take your words, your pictures, your stories, your songs, and maybe your products you want to sell. Ideas you want to share. Whatever it is, you use one of these award winning website templates. You pull your stuff in and it's going to give you an incredibly looking website that looks like it was made by a pro. Beautiful styling options. Really cool design effects. And you don't need experience to be able to

use them. You just, you know, give it a shot. Head on over to squarespace.com/adventure for free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use OfferCode Adventure to save 10% off your first purchase of

a website or domain. I have found myself digging a little deeper in my closet to try to find

some other tops. You know why? Because I find myself reaching for like the same four quince shirts over and over and over again. You know, I wore a quince shirt in a video review. I did a new Burger King product. And it was this really pretty blue. And we got so many compliments on the color of the shirt and how highlighted my eyes. And I just want to tell everybody, it's quince. I got it from quince. That kind of result, that kind of your new favorite, that kind of vibe. That is exactly

what you're going to get with quince. They got high quality wardrobe staples that are made with really good premium materials. Got 100% Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton, marina wool. The good stuff. Okay. You're going to find something that you love there. And you're going to be able to love the way you feel in it. You know what I mean? It's not one of these things where the you see a beautiful picture and then it shows up and you're like, ah, I got a feels terrible. I'm

asking, it's, it's, it's, it's great stuff. Find your next fall favorites at quince. Download the quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com/adventure. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. That's QU-I-N-C-E.com/adventure. Hi there, friends. I hope you're enjoying this episode of The Adventures. I don't got a few announcements. This is Griffin by late probably already knew that because of you've been listening

to my voice like right now. And then this is just kind of more of it. So we got some new merch in the merch short for the month of September, including the new utility drink tumbler. Everything you need can go right in this cup caffeine, medicine, juices, evolved, evolved sorts, antioxidants, fiber, fiber supplements, whatever. Get it in the utility drink tumbler and mix it all up. And you're good to go, baby. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will also

“be donated to the Midwest Food Bank's disaster relief fund. Other thing that you should know about”

is if you live in the New York City area, you should come and see the besties live on Broadway. We're going to be at the Town Hall in New York City on October 9th. And you can get tickets for that right now at bit.ly slash besties on Broadway. I hope you enjoyed the rest of the episode. And I'll talk to you soon. I'm sure with more exciting announcements and stuff. Hello, I'm Jonathan Roberts and I host Soundteep and I'm here with Max Fun member of the month

Ryan Adams. Thank you so much Ryan for being a listener and supporter of our show and congratulations on being this month's member of the month. Hi there. If you were recommending Soundteep to a new listener, how would you entice them for the show? I'm making notes on this by the way. You have all sorts of podcasts from different topics and whatever, out there. And you have a fictional ones. It's a podcast, but it's not really a podcast, but it's not describing it very well.

No, you're describing it well with as well as anybody good. It's a podcast, but it's not really

“a podcast, but it's also an infinite number of podcasts. That's what I would. That's how I put it.”

What would you say to other people who are considering supporting the show? If you like podcasts at all and you like humor, supporting Soundteep is a good choice. Is that anything else you'd like to add? Support Max Fun Fun and Soundteep. Don't that's perfect, that's absolutely perfect. Support the shows you love, including this one. Check the show notes for a link or go to MaxMumFun.org/join. You know, we've been doing my brother my brother me for 15 years.

And maybe you stopped listening for a while, maybe you never listened. And you're probably assuming

three wide guys talking for 15 years. I know where this is ended up. But no, no, you would be wrong.

just turned into a big crypto thing. Yeah, you don't even really know how crypto works.

“The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on my brother”

me. We serve it up every Monday for you. If you're listening and if not, we just leave it out back and cause rotten. So check it out on MaxMumFun or wherever you get your podcast. I want to say a big special thanks to choreographer Travis Wall for all the help and putting together that dance number. Thanks to Tom, who had that fantastic video. Thank you so much, everybody. Yeah. If you enjoy our video products,

it's mostly because of Tom. Yeah, it's Tom. Also, I want to say thank you to the Fitzgerald theaters, long as we're doing thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much, he's very wonderful. And a big thank to Theresa McElroy, who was the voice of Glinda. Yes,

it's the first time I've ever heard her curse. It was jarring. Now, down, we forgot to use our

BADs in the first act, so we can use them twice in this act. Is that how it worked? I forget.

“Now, technically Travis ended the first act, so I'm not sure. So I think technically the”

first act still goes. Yeah, and wife, same man, and wife. I know you said role initiative and usually that is ironclad. Can I use my big ass dice to try and diffuse this situation with a little bit of bear-to-bear social massaging? I will allow it. Okay, great. Does that mean I roll it twice? Huh? Does that mean I roll it twice? The big ass dice. Yes. Okay, we made such a joke out of clarifying the rules of the big ass dice that when I actually need to do it. Grab your dice.

Hey, can I borrow your badge that makes you better at persuading people? It's iron intimidation, man. 12? 18. If it's persuading you. Yeah, but I have to hear what you say to them. Because they're there, bear in their teeth. They're closer out. They're ready to go. The radar rumble.

We know what I do. I plunge my hand into my torso. Just bear with them. And then I pull out a paw of sticky honey. Oh, gross, that's his blood. It's not. I don't normally have blood. Have you guys had this stuff? Because if not, I'm about to rock your fucking block. Hey, hey, I'm not interested in rolling

“today. If we will share that horrible stuff. It's sweet sticky honey. What are you talking about?”

Yeah, have a snack roll. I just rub it on his mouth. First taste is free, my man.

Okay, that's fine. When did I tell you what? I don't know. What do you think of the honey? It's delicious. Thanks, I made it. So while this exchange is going on. Oh, sorry, let it go. When I just created honey from my sweet sticky body. Thank you. I don't want next time. Feel free to not translate that. As you're having that exchange, the lions and the gazelle and the tiger. Oh, I got enough for everyone.

No, no, no, no, they're totally fed up. They're fed up and one by one and they're fed. They're taken off their photo IDs. They had like photo IDs and they're coming and they're glaring at you and saying nobody said anything about they're being another apex predator and they're all like throwing their photo badges at you. I'm going to ask one more time, man. When you say nobody, you got a boss, right? Yeah, yeah. You need a little dodgy. Do you need a laws and just

we're very compartmentalized. I don't know who my boss is. I just show up, clock in, clock out, use my photo ID and on I go. Can I have one of them photo IDs? I'm going to lay in around all over the ground. I scoop up eight photo IDs. Okay. All right. I'm just real quick,

perspective. How much better it would be if they were just out living their dreams in the real

while eating each other? Well, I'll leave that part out. I'll leave that part out. I'll make that change. It makes me so sad to see eight plus five thirteen. Can I try it? Can I can I try to explain it to you? Yeah, go ahead. Wow. Yeah, actually a nature is yeah, I got 21 total. I would have no stuffed animal. Wow, I would like to go ahead because I don't understand them. Okay. Because I don't understand them. So that's a five

and a six. I was looking so it's six total or eleven. It would be a five because we take the

worst one with. Okay. I got a 21. That's pretty good. And I can make six. Oh, I'm sure I didn't

hear the 20 part. I thought she said one. No, I don't want you on. No, explain it to them then, no sage. Okay, listen, man. You know, fish got a swim. Birds got a thing. Rainbow goshy. You

“got no about rainbows. You love that shit here. Yeah, right? So somewhere, you all bears, right?”

You're shitting in toilets. That ain't the way it's supposed to be. No, sorry. Bears got a shit in the woods, man. How do we do? We do. Okay, we just walk it through that part. Why do you got photo ID? A bit bare don't need no photo ID. Tiger don't need no photo ID.

You're ID. It's open mouth. Open your mouth. Open your mouth. Open your mouth.

Them teeth is your ID. It's, it's, it's gonna bite you step back. No, no, no, no, no, they're training. So it's gonna go in. I'm explaining to them how their teeth is their ID. Oh, yeah. Like imagine a bear would roll up to a bar. Talk to me anymore. Nobody's gonna stop a lion or tiger or bear from going in. Some weather just like, whoa, what up dude? I'm a fucking tiger and then they're like, oh, fuck. You're really

really giving us something to think about. So go live in the woods in the jungle and shit.

“Try to eat the man cub. That's what you guys should be doing. Try and get man's”

rev flower or whatever. Now be careful because some of those mancubs will put you in something called prison if you do it and you have to wear an ankle monitor. That's true. I don't know if moglie is in the public domain or not. I didn't say nothing about no fucking moglie man. Just a generic man cub. Can we be on our way? Yes, for God's sake beyond your way. The whole idea was, hey, we found a shorter way out of this bear fight and it's been 15 damn minutes.

Yes. All right, so on you go down the elaborate road. You move on down, move on down the road. The jungle kind of thins out. As a matter of fact, the trees are are more scattered and not nearly is leafy and how are the hillocks? How are the hillocks? There are no hillocks. There are no hillocks. Dude, let's take it back. The trees are pretty bare except for some apples. They have some apples on them. Now listen dad. Like these bear trees.

I travel smack where I know what's up. But my, he's just a simple country Ranger. He loves him a shiny red gala apple. Listen, you've got to, he grabs one of those fuckers. And when you do? No! Suddenly there's a face in the book. Oh, son, I'm burning up and he's burning. You did it. And the face seems to move and but instead of being angry, he says, how'd you do? How'd you do? How'd you do? He also has a photo ID.

Cool. And the name B Davis is stamped on it. Wait, hold on. Are we talking about the tree or the apple? What? The tree has to be stupid, Griffin. Why would an apple have apples? apples don't talk? trees talk. Read a book. And he says, my name, my name is Ben Davis and my bark is worse than my bite. L-O-L. Wait, shit. I assume you're here for the presentation. What part of

“your body is this apple that I'm about to consume? Legally, you have to tell us. Yeah, it's like a”

goator. I'll take that. Yeah, I eat it. Does that help? No, I'm still want to know if you're here

get in on the brown floor. What promises to me? The most spectacular time share resort in all of us. Ambrosia Acres. At the end of our very short sales presentation, you will eat. I start acting away. Wait, wait, wait, wait. A two-week stay in one of our lunch entry houses. For sure. With a picture for free trips to our fritter and cider buffet. And it's a very short presentation.

Okay, listen, I've seen guys like this before, they had always seemed to be one invited to every

party. You know, and how did you try it out to you? One person would slip out of brochure to the an opportunity moment and start pitching you. I know how to handle this type. Okay. Go ahead, present to a great. Now, it's only 19 and a half hours. Okay. A day. The presentation? For fort. Yeah. Is that sort of a abbreviated version? No, no, no, just this one. 19 and a half hours a day for fort days. Can we be in front of me? And nights. Could be it. Wait, I'm going to try some. Hey,

treat. Can we talk to your branch manager? The new Clint Macaroa ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, dad. If you didn't know that already, just check every Instagram comment. Yeah, sure. Hey. I've got. I've got a good way of shutting the sky. Oh, please. I know a thing or two about getting stuck in trees. And I'll just sort of jump into his mouth and get my butt sort of stuck in the tree just like you jump but first. No, man, like when do the poo does it get stuck with my butt outside of

“the tree? Like, oh, whoa, it's happened again. For the love of God, where are you sticking it?”

Okay, I'm sticking my whole upper half. Yeah, he's jumping in his mouth. Yeah, jumping in his mouth. To make it stop. You're looking like what I did is we're going to get his mouth. Roll a DJ. Yeah, I say what I do and you tell me what I still roll for. I'm telling Griffin

if he climbs in your mouth. I never judge you for any of the weird shit you've done. Yes, you do.

Yes, what do you think of that? I'm thinking acrobatics checks and how well he wedges himself in the trees mouth? Yeah, acrobatics. Acrobatics. Like the poo's special. Yeah, where's he? Here we go. 15 plus 217. Oh, good. Oh, it's an horrible. Oh, no. He can't handle it. You can put the intimidate. You're broken his his whole sense of what is right with the world. So he says, here, take the fucking apples and get out of here. And when you eat those apples, it restores all your hit points

and your spells slots. Amazing. That's a good thing. That's a good fucking apple. So you

“eat on down there. Hey, very much. That's how I like them. I look at the tree. I say, hey, keep it tight.”

He's picking stuff out of it. Yeah, did you guys see that? Just that when we went on that ski driven night, it do when he crazy man. Oh, jumping in people's mouths getting wedges in there. I just glad it was a tree this time. Just what I felt. And you all look back. Yeah. And you kind of noticed that, you know, I don't know, the tree houses. They were building in those trees. Look, kind of cool. Hey, down, are you gilting us into not listening to your 19 and

a half hour sales pitch in our live show that has 28 minutes left in hindsight. And you guys look back and you really regret not learning the tree. Tell you about these things. And I take a brochure

“for later, Dad. Okay. I think we're not eating. Now, give me a wisdom check. All three of you. Okay.”

Mind should have advantage because I got to brochure. I think we can all agree on that. I'll give it to you. Mr. News. Who? So my first one was the threes to thank goodness for that fantastic advantage. 13 though, Shish. I don't know. 13. Mine was an 11. Just the least funny numbers. Yeah. I tell you, Matt, you and Poo really are really going, looking wistfully at those, those

would be something that you really want to hang with. I curl up under a tree like a beautiful fox.

Okay. I'm going to just sleep there in the roots of a tree. Like I've always dreamed like

in David the Nome. No, I'm sorry. I went out of character there for a minute and I was just feeling like myself there for a second. It's just been on a sort of psychosexual David the Nome base. Oh, there was no sexual about it. God wouldn't look at dream of being a fox curled up in a nose there without having sexual grab. Okay. God, when what do you do when you see your two buddies just kind of like, did we solve the encounter or not? This is where I was at. You did, you did.

Tripping out. It's like we finish it and then we saw them in Gomorrah and look back at it.

And it's like, I don't know, it's almost like there's maybe an additional thing going on.

“Yeah. It's, uh, I guess I go back and I'm like, well, okay. How is everyone doing?”

I'm feeling really good about this treehouse idea. Like maybe we should let him talk. I'm saying it like 20 feet away. I do not want to come close. I thought we were done here. Lady Godwin. I would like you to make a persuasion check. Ooh, plus three. But yeah, plus three. And I will tell you this, if you do not succeed and talking to your two friends out of staying here, you will finish this adventure alone.

Yeah, that's it. All right. We got big ass dice. Big ass dice. Big ass dice. Here he goes. Don't throw two harder. It'll crumple. That's a natural one. It's so big. It's so big. You can really see what a wonderful failure. Just, here we go. Yeah, baby. Oh, shit. 90. That is another natural one.

Goodbye, my host is everyone. Travis and I will check you guys later. Hashtag adventures out the same boat. All right, everybody. Okay, so that was for mud. Okay, so now I'll try for Winnie the Poo. Now you try for Winnie the Poo. But I also know

“I can only use those dice once per act. Yeah, I think I admitted that you could use it.”

I have let you stock by that so you can do it twice. You all are about to see mathematical history. He made on this stage tonight. Natural 20. It's a 20. It's really good juice. I like, I like the fact that you all know D20 so well. You can't see that that's a 20. But you can tell from the side. It's from my expression. I think my facial expression said it all. I think you're so

persuasive with that 20 that it takes care of both of them. Wow. Yeah. Because I have no plan for one of them stay. You wrote such a big check. There clan I heard your bullpucker from six feet away, my man. So you move on down, move on down the road again. You're through the trees now and before you stands the most impressive cornfield you've ever seen.

“I guess. Yeah. Hey, Paul. Hell yeah, dude. Can I just say then?”

I Travis Mankler. I have seen many at cornfield. I've never ranked them. Yeah.

This might be the best. Yeah, impressiveness or not. Well then, but then I look at it. Oh, let me finish. Yeah. Then I look at this one. I'm like, fuck yeah. That's a cornfield my dude. Give me a perception check in mud. Just see if I'm impressed. Should I use my big deal? That's a not 20. Jesus Christ. I fucking love this cornfield. Also everybody flame bright die available to Mankler and the Mankler family uh merge store. YouTube could roll 18

at 20s. Okay. These stocks of corn have grown to a height of 12 feet. About an elephant's high. I doubt I have no fucking idea if that's normal or big or that's big. Okay. And they look metallic. The shocks are razor sharp and the whispers of corn still coming out of each ear more resemble wires. I know what happened. Then any kind of organic fiber. The scarecrow and the 10 man had some babies. This is their babies. These fibers crackle electricity. Yeah.

the only opening you see, which leads straight ahead into the cornfield. Now, uh poo give me a

perception check. Okay. Two. Plus. God one. Six. Eight. God one. Give me a perception check. Okay. I got you dad. It's a two. I see it all. Double. Double. Can I divide my not 20 between the three of us? That would be 24 weeks got eight. Yeah. Okay. I'll give it to you. Pretty cool. There's a sign off of the side. But it's been covered with a either tarpolan or tarpolan. We really need to write a strongly worded letter to whoever is putting these

“fucking signs up. Man, they're putting them up all higgledy people. I think that dude from”

uh one of the tears of the kingdom was like, I don't have to put him a shit fell over again.

I use my incredible strength to rip the tarp off of the sign. Okay. And it says

tibia's corn palace. Lind us your ears. And maybe other body parts if you're not careful. Welcome to tibia's corn palace. Yeah, dad. I know. I played tibia in the same Maxi keeper ducks. I mean, they have flying monkey. What's up? All right. I don't have the budget for one flying monkey. Well, you only needed one when I was doing it. I made it feel like there was a whole squad of monkeys in one. I am going to use my axe to chop down all of the

electric cord. No, won't work. You'll be electrocuted. Oh, well, let him roll this thing. How much you know. I appreciate that. More, more things should tell you that. Don't. Don't hit this with an axe, buddy. That's on the other side of the sign. Danger. Electricity. Access. Don't do it. All right. Suddenly a wicked looking crossbowl comes flying down out of the air and strikes the

“ground near you. Perception check. Who? All of us? Yeah. Or is that the name of the crossbowl 13?”

That does it. It's. There are 12 flying monkeys. What? Jesus Christ. All armed with ugly crossbows coming your way. Well, you don't want to be shitty about the quality of their crossbows. These stinky monkeys and they're ugly crossbows. Now I will tell you this. If you go into the maze, yeah, their view will be partially obstructed and they won't have such a clear shot at you. He said trying to lead them by the nose. I didn't realize it was a maze. But I guess it's

a maze maze. I'm doing this shit. I go in. I just heard a man to say Jesus Christ from 20 feet away. All right. The maze. Let me describe the maze to you. Okay. It is right. Right. Right. Left. A, B. No. It's even easier than that. All right. It's a four by seven grid with nothing, but four way stops. Think four way intersections of a highway. Okay. All through it. That's all there is. But at each intersection, there is a blue enamel disc set in the ground. Okay.

Which will tell you which way to go. Oh my god. If you go the wrong way, die. You will be surely electrocuted. If we go the right way, then you are not surely electrocuted.

Okay. Do we know where it starts? It's right in front of you. The first enamel plate is right in front of you.

Is it like the far left? Yeah, man. There's the first enamel plate giving you a clue as to what

“direction to go in. Fucking, I guess. Okay. We go north. Up. We go up. That's up I think. Yeah.”

We go up. I think that won't mean so. Let's go up. Hmm. I tell you what. Give me an intelligence check. What do I get to add? Plus three. Okay. So that's going to be a 13 minus one 12. That tells you that's not up. It's right. Wait a minute. Correct. You turn right. They're right hands. Hey, Griffin. Sorry about the stupid right. As in correct. Right. Okay. Got it. Next. All right. You move on to the next intersection and you see the next inlaid panel. Ha. Now this is interesting. We see

they left that person left. Okay. So what we see is a person run. I'm just for history. Oh, yeah. Thank you.

Yeah. Are they left? Left is right. Yeah. Wait. Left is correct. You move on to the next enamel panel.

“Jesus Christ. Guys, I got to be honest. This is getting a little heavy for me. I wild shape”

and turn into a hawk. There is somebody. Okay. Now dodge 12 cross bolts. Would you like to reconsider your hastily chosen response? No. I'll make a Dexterity save against 12 cross bolts. I said what I said and I meant what I meant. I understand. A poo bear is faithful 100%.

Eight. No. You take a million. No. Let's say three points of damage. Pretty shitty. These are not

just ugly cross bolts. They are interlate to 12 points. But your wedding is so damaged. You can no longer

“fly smart guy. Okay. All right. So the next enamel plate is a sun beating down mercilessly on a very”

sweaty person. He said down. Yeah. But down when we're going back to where we came. It doesn't matter. It does matter. It does matter. Right. Now it's right above us. Right. This sun is beating down mercilessly.

He said down again. Guys, the answer is down. It's not down. It's a swirly shape pattern. The sun beats mercilessly.

The sun beats. Boy, I bet it's a pretty high temperature. Up for the heat being up. I bet it's a pretty high temperature. Yeah. It's dad. We don't get it. You can't just keep saying the same shit over and over again. Like the temperature's rising. All right. Fuck it. I got shot by these guys and it didn't hurt that bad. I'm going left. Lady God, why don't you go up. Lady God, why don't you give us your fucking

“clues. I go left. He goes right. She goes up. Who dies? Which direction did you go?”

I went left. He went right. She went out. Who dies from it. Not mud. All right. All mud. It's right. Mud makes a 90 degree turn. Dad. There's no way man. That is a measurement of an angle, not an indicator of direction. Oh, no. If he was 90 degrees. Yes, I'd be warm. I would not melt like this human being made of booting. That's his artistic interpretation. Also a 90 degree turn could be two different ways. No, it couldn't. As you'll find

out, if you'll just move on the next damn thing. This is inappropriate to show. There could be children here tonight, Matt. It's two forward. Forward. You move on to the next one. That's a person that's on fire. That's 180 degree. They're burning up. We go up for burning up. I'll give it to you. Wait, no, don't fucking. Well, think how much it would take the set you on fire? Well, that'd be 270 degrees. Again, which takes you to the next blocker. How many

of these you fucking have, Matt? Here's the person with their native right angles. Yeah, about what angle Travis? This one's 114 degrees. This one's all fucked up. He can make an E with their body. We go East. East is correct. You move on. We stand still. We stand still. There's the next one. Oh, we stand still right in the middle. He is still in weight. And the weight. And we wait. You can. Matt, don't make any difference. Okay. He's the face is blank. Just right. Just right. It's annoying,

blank face. That's a normal face. Think anatomically. Straight down. There's 12 minutes left in the

This is the last one you promised. My promise. I was just getting started. That's a wizard

“starts with W for West. He has a hat on their shade. Or he's wearing a mask, a mask for North.”

It's the wicked witch of the North. Correct. Yeah. You have clear Tibia's corn palace. I love it now. Don't you pawn this off on Tibia. I flip two big birds right to these fly and monkeys. The road leads you into a quaint village that looks like that. Cool. And at the end, the very end of the yellow brick road. It kind of swirls into a point, right in the middle. And right next to that

is this dilapidated old farmhouse. Now, I say dilapidated, but it's dilapidated looking. It's

kind of sitting at an unnatural angle. But it looks to have been freshly refurbished and painted,

“but painted to look like a dilapidated farmhouse. It's really confusing. Is it available on Airbnb”

or is it been flipped or what? Give me investigation check. Just see if it's been flipped. Have Joanna gain to ship gains been here. No, I got a one. I have no idea if Chip and Joanna gains have been here. I'm looking as far as I can. I waste 20 minutes looking for Chip and Joanna gains. I got a

12 on my investigation check. I'm going to do an investigation also, but it's specifically to see

if the things in the house are real and functional were decorative. Okay, that would be looking through the window. That's six. I will give you the 12. The 12, you said. Yeah, 12, 12, 12,

“I'll give you the 12 because we've got nine minutes left or five seconds left. You noticed that”

you can look at the place. The door is not functional. It's like painted on. But you can see some footprints in the dirt around the side and you follow the footprints around and there's a storm door, a warm storm seller door. That's a beautiful phrase, Dad. Maybe one of those beautiful phrases ever written with a small storm seller door. Again, AI. Hey, I want you all to know that my dad's joking. There's no fucking way he knows how to use AI. Not a chance. Not a chance. The other problem.

Dad thinks that using AI is watching the movie artificial intelligence while writing and being inspired by Hailey Jaws when it's performance. Next to the storm door is the sign that says cast only the door will not open, but there is a card reader next to it. Okay, I look at the card reader and then I hit the door with my axe as hard as I can. To 18. I'll allow it. Thank you. And it's much faster than using the photo I did. I worked in so diligently.

I had, well, I had eight of those as well. That was my backup. Okay. The door opens and you descend a ladder into darkness. Oh. You are in a very large, very dark cavern, which opens up. Which opens up. I cast light on Scalibre. Well, okay. So it's not dark anymore. It's still kind of dark. No, it's not. Because it opens up anyway. It lights on a larger that's from the Scalibre. That's from the Scalibre. That's from the Scalibre. Okay.

And you're walking through an even bigger, not quite as dark cavern. You see a large map. It hasn't been mounted on the wall or anything. It's kind of sitting on the side. But it shows the same route you just took. The stretch of yellow brick road for a memorable city to munch can town. And sections are labeled 40 Winkies Botanical Garden. Oh, my walkthrough Safari. And brochure acres resort.

Tippi is corn, palace. The farmhouse palace is in quotes with a cluster market in.

marker. Should we mention that it's razor sharp maze? A name of attraction?

“No, you stupid idiot. Then no one would go to it. What about extreme danger maze?”

But we spell it X. Then dash TREME. And then we can't give the teens away. Suddenly. Oh, from one end of the cave. I went. I just in my head. I want you to know that suddenly is like we've been staying in there 20 minutes in the darkness. And it's like, "Well, it kind of felt like it to me." Evil billows of smoke appear. And from within the smoke of voice cackles. Welcome, my free tea. Oh, my god, thank you. I can see the look on your

ostrac faces. Because, as you have undoubtedly already guessed, I am behind it all. And a figure flying on a broom comes zooming out of the smoke, flying over your heads,

“circling and finally landing at the opposite end of the cavern. And the figure speaks. Yes,”

it's I. Teddy Blue. What? Sorry, we're looking for Glanda. No, it's me. Teddy Blue. You know, no, don't. Sorry. We don't know. Teddy Blue. We're the way to the blue. Are you guys related? Holy shit. Is this a stuffed bear that we're talking to? No, I'll fucking know this guy. This is a rather short woman. She's dressed in beautiful powder blue dress. Cool. She has shining, super hair, twinkling blue eyes, rosy red cheeks. She is

basically adorable. Oh, let's see. She keeps looking at you. Come on. We don't know. Teddy Blue.

You just, you say it over and over again. Is it gonna make us know who you are? It's actually losing me. I am the witch of the north. Okay, I'm going to do a history check. Oh, that's good. Five. Does he know where north is? Yes, the direction when the sun is melting the man. If they'd put me in either one of the movies, you wouldn't know. Oh, like, we're getting wicked too.

“What movies and also what's a movie? So wait a minute. Aren't you the potential investors?”

Oh, this is awkward. Well, maybe. Hold on. I got all of England's coffers at my disposal of things which I only just now realized in yellow baby, in yellow brick road roadside attractions. LLC. I fucking love it, man. I'll take 10%. Teddy. Teddy, are you constructing a theme to entertain them based on Dorothy's plight? Yes. I saw a vision of a kingdom called Gatlinburg. Okay. Uh-huh. One unified strip of attraction. Okay. So I've spent a lot of time

with Wisconsin Dells have landed better. All right. God, take it back. Say, Wisconsin Dells. I have gone through a long time trying to work up after seeing a vision of a kingdom called Wisconsin Dells. I had to gather a lot of power and a lot of items to get control. I needed glinders wand to mind control the munchkins because they said it was too commercial. I have my fabulous cumulonimbus 3000 magic hat which controls the weather. Exposition,

exposition, exposition. That way it's always nice and temperate which helps the walk-up traffic.

Yeah, that's a good plan, actually. And then I, I had to get the silver shoes, you know, for zoning. So I paid the munchkin coroner a couple of bucks and got him to switch to this phony baloney ruby slippers for the silver ones. Yeah. The munchkin coroner. Yeah, that was the role that I played in the MACCT production of Wizard of Oz. Hey, can I just say do you have like an investment for a forza on your business plans something show me? Because I'm, you got me on the hook and I

real me in. Can I finish the damn pitch? Yeah, please. The kid from Kansas and her henchmen deep six that went to the west. Yeah. I got her broom. That helped me with marketing because you know what's better than the word amount. Smoke messages in the sky. Oh, yeah, man. So I guess the land of Oz. Well, now I know the name Teddy Poo. Are you flexible on the name?

What about mutland? He'd have to buy 51%. Teddy Poo Sergeant wrote, "Where is Linda, though?"

Oh, she's locked up in a cell waiting for execution. If you'll excuse us, we're going to

“give her, okay? Oh, well, I think you'll have to talk to Teddy Poo and Thurra across the room.”

And you can't say it's not a surprise attack. You were in the middle of talking. When you do that, she goes flying. She loses the broom. Her hat flies off. She drops, "Glinda's won't." Can I use my big ass dice? I want to fire off a

crossover bowl and see if I can pin her to the wall by her blue dress. Knock yourself out.

You can do it. Shoot this old lady that Justin had already said, "I don't know what she's doing." She may not be dead yet. Girl, I don't know. Here we go. Six. Not very good. Big ass dice. Big ass dice. Another shake. 13. Does 13 hit? Does 13 hit this?

“Holder. No, sorry, plus nine. A 15. A 15. Does a 15 hit a senior that has just been tossed across the room?”

She might be a child. Yes, it does.

And when she goes flying and when she's pinned to the wall by her dress, I didn't

spear the child or old woman or old woman child. She looks up at you and says, "So is this a no on the investment thing?" It's a maybe. We don't. A hard maybe. Great. We have to do the glit the thing. Then we'll come back and hear the rest. Oh, hell take her. Oh, nice. I put glinda on my back in a fireman's carry. Okay. That's good. Thanks.

You don't have to spell it out now, but I am curious if there's any like intro you do. We're excellent. I should have the glinda. What are you doing? Let's go. Hi, I'm Lady God. I would love the shoes. Let's go. And from deep deep deep within the cavern. You hear the sound of like a thousand voices all at once and they come rushing out and they're all in

unison going oh we all we all we all we all we all we all we that was clearly the end I

“think maybe you should get the hell out okay we yeah now we leave we run yeah you do run yeah we”

do I fall down I'm not going I pick Travis back up oh but I pissed my pants all three of you give me an acrobatics check you have to go up that ladder oh we keep going oh I got eight an eight oh God oh he's getting louder what was the acrobatics I got us I got a seven okay I got a 17 plus he said acrobatics was for 21 I'd drag him up with me okay as you go sprinting towards the ladder glinda leans down snatches up her wand

from the floor where it dropped when you shot daddy boo yes and she says yeah that's enough of this shit and waves at the winkies the thousands of winkies coming at her and they stop right in the middle of oh we all we all no somebody didn't come to rehearsal and you clamber up the ladder safely and the silence is since for 30 seconds and lady go and says they had a family and congratulations you

have succeeded in task versus a wonderful wizard of all thank you thank you thank you have a great night thank you good macroe.

, Max Mum fun a work-rolled network of artist owned shows supported directly by you.