Arthur Writes a Story

Welcome to the Arthur Podcast.

It's me, Arthur Rie. Today, I'm going to tell you how I ended up writing a good, bad, boring, fun, and totally goofy story. Hey Arthur, how come you're staring at a piece of paper?

“If you must know, I'm thinking about how to write a story that everyone will really like.”

Is it your homework? Yes, it's my homework. Why are you looking over my shoulder? I'm reading your story. On, see... Oh, cool... Mom dad, D.W.'s bothering me while I'm doing my homework.

I'm going, I'm going. Just make sure you put me in your story. Shut the door, please. Make me a princess who lives at three little kiddies in a faraway castle. This is not a princess story, D.W.

And I should have a magic wand that can grant wishes.

Or turn you into a puff of smoke.

Shut the door. Okay, Mr. Bossy pants. How can I write when my sister keeps interrupting? And when I don't even know where to start? I told you, start with me being a princess.

Go away! I was stuck, part-cast friends, riders block.

“So, I went to the tree house where Bossy and Francine were also trying to come up with story ideas.”

What have you got so far? Once upon a time, that's it. All I've got is my name at the top of the page. I problem is I have so many story ideas and each one is better than the next. Like what, Francine?

One is about a princess who has to give her baby to a troll. She can't guess the troll's name.

Isn't that a story already?

Not that I'm aware of. Is the troll's name Rumpel Stiltskin? No, her name is Big Wilma. But that's just one idea. I've got lots.

What comes after you're once upon a time, Arthur? I was thinking about telling the story of how I got my dog pal. So, maybe, once upon a time, a boy named Arthur wanted a dog. That's not a story. That's just the thing that happened.

So, I started Arthur's pet business to prove I was responsible. Hi, Mrs. Wood. Guess what? Arthur lost your dog.

“No, not my poor helpless little parking pool.”

I didn't lose parking pool, Mrs. Wood. Well, I did, but only for a minute. She's right here having puppies. Thank you, Arthur. What's your life to keep one?

You mean, keep a puppy? Yes, I'll name him pal. So, that is the story of how I got my dog. The end. I finished.

What do you think? Frankly, it's kind of short and boring. That's not a nice thing to say. Good writers can take on this criticism. What do you think, Buster?

Hmm. I'd give it a two. Two out of five? Two out of ten. Hmm.

Forget it. I am not giving Mr. Rattford a boring story. Right about how you got a baby elephant. That would be interesting. Oops, time to go.

Me too. See you tomorrow, Arthur. Bye. How I got a baby elephant. Hi, Mrs. Wood.

Guess what? Arthur lost your pet. No. Not my poor little helpless turkey poo. I didn't lose perky poo, Mrs. Wood.

She had some babies. Elephant babies! The elephant story was so good, podcast listeners. At least I thought so. Until I showed it to Buster at school the next day.

So that's the story of how I got a baby elephant. I named him Powell and will love him forever. The end. What do you think? Hmm.

I guess it's okay. Just okay. I want everyone to really like my story. All the best stories are set in outer space. That's where mine takes place.

Outer space? Also, you need more action.

[Music playing]

Five, four, six, seven, one.

Puts down! We made it to Planet Translate.

“One giant step for me, one tiny step for Earth.”

I can't believe we discovered a brand new planet. Look at all the purple rocks and stuff. [Music playing] Is that Mrs. Wood bouncing over the rocks? What's she doing here?

Woo! Hi Mrs. Wood. Guess what? Arthur lost her dog. No, not my poor helpless little parking pool.

I didn't lose parking pool Mrs. Wood. She had some babies. Elephant babies. And they're dancing. [Music playing]

Stop dancing babies. You'll break the spacecraft. We'll be stuck in space! [Music playing] As soon as I finished my new story,

I wanted somebody new to read it. So, I took it to brain. Who, what do you think?

“A story about dancing baby elephants on Planet Translate is”

in boring, right? It's not boring, but it is scientifically inaccurate. How? Where? Elephants weigh less in space. They'd flow, not dance. You don't like it.

What would make you like it? Well, a good story requires gripping subject matter and solid research. What's your story called? amphibians versus dinosaurs. Mesoics mapped out.

Dinosaur's are always popular.

So, I should put a dinosaur in my story. I don't know much about them. You can find everything you need at the library. I went straight from brain cells to the library podcast listeners. Miss Turner, the librarian, gave me like 18 books about dinosaurs.

What's with all the books? Brain said I should add a dinosaur to my story, which means I need to do research. Okay, let's see. Baby T-Rexus.

“The offspring of these two feet, Krittascius.”

Forget the dinosaur, Arthur. You can't even pronounce it. Plus, you don't like dinosaurs. Then I don't know what to write. What is something that everyone will like?

Just make something up. Something fun. Gee, thanks, Francine.

I never thought about making it fun.

You're welcome. I was being sarcastic. You know what would make it fun? If you wrote it as a song, so well in writing a country song for her story, that she gets in a plus plus.

Everybody's story is going to be better than mine. That's probably not true. Though it could be true. Oh, hey, Dad. I'll meet you outside.

Don't forget about the love interest. The love interest? Every good story has a part where two characters fall in love. Bye. Okay, a song in outer space with two elephants in love.

I started all over podcast listeners and came up with a new, new, new story. The next day, I had to sing it in class. Our next reader is Arthur Reed. I can actually write a story. It's more of a song. We look forward to hearing it.

Well, my name is Arthur and I wanted a pet, so I started a business to show I could get clients and stuff and take care of animals. So that's what I did, yeah. That's what I did. Here we go.

Arthur's pet business went into space to a planet named Tramplatte mostly purple place. I thought I lost Perky with the soul, Dad. Especially a Mrs. Wood got really mad, but Perky was in the closet having baby elephants to dance on their toes.

He did a few flips. DW worry, they break our spaceship. Mrs. Wood gave me a puppy seat, and that was pretty neat. So that's the end of my story. Well, I hope it wasn't.

Well, two boring. Thank you. Bye. The end. Good effort, Arthur.

Was any of that meaningful to you? Just the part where I wanted a pet. That's where the story started, Mr. Rappern. Ah, and then it somehow turned into a song about dancing baby elephants in outer space. Well, Buster said it should take place in outer space and be a song,

Ah, you suggested that out of your dinosaur.

But Arthur didn't listen.

“I told him it needed a love interest, but he didn't listen to that either.”

Interesting feedback. But you know what, Arthur? I'd like to hear your original story. But everyone said it was boring. Don't worry about what people think or what you think they want to hear.

Just tell your story the way it means the most to you. Uh, right now you mean? Ready when you are? Uh, okay, here goes. I always wanted a dog.

But my parents said I needed to show I could be responsible. So I started Arthur's pet business. And pretty soon I had too many pets to take care. [laughs] That's true.

Dogs and cats and birds and frogs and ducks.

Of course, the dogs chase the cats and the cats chase the birds.

[laughs] The worst pet of all was Mrs. Woodstock, Perky. Perky wasn't Perky. She was mean. I could barely get any sleep.

Perky was so much work.

“Like in the middle of the night, I'd have to get up and give her a tummy rub.”

That is weird. No kidding. And I had to give her a bath every day and brush her teeth. And she wouldn't eat her dinner unless I put a blueberry exactly on top. [laughs]

Super weird. Then on the day Perky was supposed to go home, she disappeared. DW and I looked everywhere and put up signs, but Perky was really, truly lost. I thought everything was ruined. My pet business, my hope of getting a dog, ah.

And Mrs. Wood came to pick up Perky.

DW said, "I Mrs. Wood, guess what?

Arthur lost your dog." Mrs. Wood freaked out. No, not my poor help as little Perky boo. Right, while this was happening, I suddenly heard strange moans and thumps coming from the closet.

I wasn't sure what could be vacant in the noise. A ghost, maybe? An alien from planet translast. Good guess, but no. It was Perky hiding out in our closet and having puppies.

Mrs. Wood was so relieved. She gave me one of the puppies to keep. And that puppy was pal. My dog and the best friend forever and ever. Hey, what about me?

My best friend, the sidebuster. Forever and ever. The end. Woohoo! Yay!

You liked the story? It wasn't too boring? I think we all enjoyed it. In fact, you deserve a sticker for telling it so well. With a beginning, middle, and end.

Bravo. There you go. Wow. Thanks, Mr. Rapper. Of course, if you want full credit, you'll have to write it down.

And now, if you will all turn to page 64. So that, podcast listeners, is how I came to write a pretty good story about how, and even got a sticker for Mr. Rapper. Not bad, huh? It wasn't bad, but it would have been way better with me and three little kids.

Where we live in a castle, and I have a magic wand and turn you into a troll. And now it's time for D-R-D-W. E-Money are, right? D-R-D-W.

If you could get another pet, what would you choose? Hmm. A snail. What? Why?

Because they smell better than dogs. And you don't have to walk them. Oh, okay. Here's a question from Franklin B. T-R-D-W.

What's a good rule of thumb for managing your 401k? Thumbs don't have rules. Mind sure don't. But if my thumb had a rule, it would be, pick better numbers. 401k?

Five is a way better number. Because I'm five. Oh, isn't even a number. It's a letter. And k?

That's not a number either. Sheesh.

“You should go back to school, Mr. Franklin Beans.”

That's it for now. Send your questions to me. D-R-D-W. See you later, alligator. And that's the show podcast nation.

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