Valentine’s Day Romance vs Reality and Falling Head-Over-Heels for Food!!

Valentine's Day and restaurants.

Every year, we call it at the Valentine's Day Massacre.

“The real reason that your favorite restaurant has a special Valentine's Day menu?”

The expectation for most guests is like, it's a special day, I need a special menu. And we reflect on how to keep the flame burning with those very special work relationships. It's like seeing your acts with like, you know, they're new person and you're like, oh, really? This week, we are really going to focus on Valentine's Day because we get a lot of questions as chefs and as people who work in the hospitality industry, a lot of people want to know,

they actually care what it's like on the other side on Valentine's Day in restaurants. My perspective is that a lot of people put pressure on celebrating it, you know, girlfriends, boyfriends, new relationships, marriages, some people put a lot of pressure on

celebrating Valentine's Day.

A lot of people do that by going somewhere to eat. That equals busy restaurants and restaurant reservations. So, you know, let's get into the weeds a little bit on Valentine's Day and, you know, I like my new segments and names. So, in the weeds is where we're going to go in where we go. On Valentine's Day.

All right, I'm with it. I'm with it. I'll go, I'll walk into the weeds with you. You're a little bit shorter. So, I'll hold your hand and pull you up so you can see. Thank you. Like that time in Colorado where I couldn't see over the, uh, the blinds, what we got to ask been for our finale. Oh, yeah, that was, I forgot about that. That was hilarious.

You were like, look at this, look at that view. You're like, I can't see shit.

And then you pull the chair so I could stand up on the chair. I was like, oh, wow, that's actually gorgeous. I was a gentleman. So, okay, Joe, what is Valentine's Day to you? Do you love it or do you hate it? I don't think it's like, I love it or hate it. It's not like, as polarizing to me is that. It's one of those days where it's like, I think Valentine's Day in general is insane.

But you don't mean, I think, like, from a restaurant perspective, it's like, it does put a lot of pressure on us, right? Because there's kind of two camps. There's the people who think, like, I don't want to do anything for Valentine's Day. I just want to be able to go have a normal dinner. But most of the people out there, I'm going to call, you know, a couple weeks ago,

already, like a month out, for people who are like, well, what's your Valentine's Day menu? What are you doing special? I need something special. It's got to be special. So it's like having four restaurants now. It's like, I have three where it's like, we have to run special prefix menus. We need to be able to do it for two days. We got to do it for Friday and Saturday. But it's like, you got to do it for two days.

“You need to have, you know, a special menu, do all these things. Because it's like,”

I think sometimes you get the outside perspective, people like, it's Valentine's Day. It's a hot night. So, like, restaurants just want to like jack everything up. And I'm sure there's some of that, too. But it's like, but the expectation for most guests is like, it's a special day. I need a special menu. I'm trying to do something special. And I need you to help facilitate that for me.

Right? And so it's like, we have to be able to do that. We have to be able to curate a special experience for that. Now, having four restaurants, it's like, I have one where in like bar two to where it's like, you know, casual, more like neighborhood hangout, right? So like that one, it's like, no, we're not doing anything. But I think it's nice that it's like now it's like, I have that option to have like,

hey, if you just want to go out to dinner, come to dinner. You know, but like, most of the people they want that special occasion, you know, like stay couch, it's crazy. But the other thing, I think people don't realize like the weirdest thing about Valentine's Day is like a normal service. You get a mix of tables, right? You have two tops. You have four tops. Three, five, six, seven, eight, nice.

Valentine's Day, you look at those spreads. And it's like if you're doing 300 people,

“you're doing 150 tables. And it's like you have to bring in extra two tops. And you have to”

like look at all this stuff. And all your big tables, you know, we have a couple of six tops at Rosemary, where it's like four to line. Probably won't use those for two days. Because no, we're not going to have a six top for two days. You're only going to have like two to choose. That's not how you run a normal service. So it's just like makes it like a weird different pressure on it. So it's like a whole unique weird kind of beast to it, where it's like and

people put a lot of pressure on it. And they want it to like really be, you know, like, oh my god, I want this to be the most, you know, romantic night of my life. And it's like, hey, we're going to make it super delicious. We're going to make it super delicious and super nice. But I can't make you better at conversation. You know what I mean? If you didn't have any game before you showed up here, like I'm not doing a one-hour crash course. I'm like how to talk to

somebody before you. Right. Yeah, it shouldn't. Maybe that should be an offer, you know, part of it. Hey, maybe you have a conversation starter card on the tables, so people can keep their conversation lively. Yeah, there you go. During their romantic dinner. Hey, it's not a bad idea. See, okay, when I was in restaurants, it was the thing that I hated about Valentine's Day,

holidays, after New Year's restaurants, usually go through a low where it's slow because it's also really cold outside if you live in the north. So it's super cold. Not a lot of people are going out. You're staffing less people. Your team is not at the same rhythm for doing a super busy night. And then you just get hit in the face with Valentine's Day. And we used every year, we call it

at the Valentine's Day massacre. Every restaurant I worked at, we always, we always call it,

guys ready for the Valentine's Day massacre. Let's go. Because you're going to get your butt kicked all night. You're not at that level of doing like, you know, turn it and burn it and just going through service so fast. And then you're just all of a sudden going from cooking for a hundred people on Tuesday to cooking for 350 on Wednesday because of Valentine's Day. And especially it's like, you know, if you have a really cold February, you could go from cooking

for 50 people on Tuesday. Right. Or especially in fine dining, you know, you go from 20 to 200. And it's like, hey, you want to go for a jog? It's like, yeah, okay. And then it's like, all right,

“now we're going to sprint for six hours. It's really cute. And it's like, what do you mean?”

Yes. Like, just, it's a gut punch. It's just, like, huge. That's always like the blessing of the

course of it. It's like, you know, you're like this. It's super cold in Chicago. So it's like, everybody's like, oh, yeah, can't wait for Valentine's Day. Because you know, it's like, it's right. So it's like something that, you know, business wise, you look forward to. Okay, Joe, listeners want to know. And this is something that we have fielded through Instagram. Our restaurants taking advantage of people on Valentine's Day with the expensive Valentine's Day

prefix or the expensive Valentine's tasting menu. I mean, it depends on the place. This is my perspective. It's like, I think it's like, if you do it nice, like, it's, it's really nice. You know what I mean? Like, we do really thoughtful menus. And we try to make it like, oh, what would be a good menu for two people to have together. Where it's not like so crazy feelings. If you have, you know, romantic plans afterwards. You can, you know, attend to those plans. Right. But it's like, but I think,

yeah, some places, it's like, you look at it. You're like, that's crazy. You know, I mean, they do a lot of

“weird stuff. Or it's like, you know, but I think it's like one of those things. It's like, you have to have”

that offer because there's such a massive call for it. So it's like, as a restaurant, you know, you're damned if you're doing it. If you do it, if you do it, people are going to say that. They're like, oh, you're just trying to take advantage of it. If you don't do it, people are going to not come because they're like, well, I want a special experience because, you know, me and Boo Boo Bear are coming in and you know, Boo Boo Bear only wants the finest. And so it's like,

you know, it's one of those like tight reps of walks. So that's why it's like for me this year having the four restaurants. It's like, it's nice to have the one to be like, if you're not about all that, I got you come over here. I think one of the things I really like about doing like special prefix menus is like, for us, it's like, you know me, like, I'm a super hard copy person. Like, I write, you know, books, I love hard copy cookbooks. The idea of like, you get a physical menu that's just for

that night. Like, I do really like that. Like I know it's like cheesy, but it's like, I love the idea of like having like a physical faxile menu. Like, I could take with me if I want. And they don't need it for tomorrow because it's not my time to stay anymore. But like this is the menu we had that night. Like, you know, I mean, I have some saved old menus from like travels and like dinners Hill and I have had together. I've

“had with friends over the years. Like, I think like having that, you know, meeting what our”

memories is so tied to food. Like, it's like, I think, you know what I mean? Like, the cynical part of it, you can look at it, whatever you wait, you want. But I think that's Valentine's Day in general. Yeah, I like the the prefix menus from an operational perspective. I like them because you know that 85 to 90% of the people dining at a restaurant that night are going to order that Valentine's special menu. So it kind of eases up the fact that your staff is not up to the flow of being

so busy because you're picking up multiple of the same dish back to back. So, you know, after the first

five, you're more efficient, you're better at it. So I like it from that perspective because it helps the restaurant kind of streamline service, which means the customer is getting better food. Instead of having to cook like 22 different dishes on one station, you're able to focus on really making this one dish over and over and making it better and better each time for the guests. So I'm I'm for it. I'm for it, you know. Okay. So let me ask you a question, Mom.

Now, you're not working a Valentine's Day service. So Valentine's Day night, you go it up. Hell no. Absolutely not. Well, I'm looking at home. Are you going to make,

for for my private client. If it's Saturday, I'm off. And I would happily cook something. I've actually

“done tasting menus for Stephen before at home. Starting off with like a razor clam, ceviche,”

ending on like a lobster tail with red wine. So this is my this is my question about that of doing a tasty menu at home. So you play it even course sitting down eating of course and then getting up, going to do the next course. But everything is like park cooked and prepped out or depending on what the next course is, I can pop the vegetables in the oven to warm while we're eating the previous course. I just like the idea of like you're the middle of a dinner conversation and

you're just like just giving one sec. And then you like go the back. Well, we have we have our kitchen counters. So like Stephen and I turn on the sexy lights and sit on the other side. And then I'll just pop around the counter, pull the stuff out of the oven, plate it, go sit back down. Also go to the other side of the counter. You like going to like chef mom and you're like, so I was everything. You can hear it immediately. It's cool. Like you have a good time. Yeah, like your date seems really

nice, you know. All right. Hallelujah. As soon as I step into the kitchen like I immediately, I take my hair clip, my hair goes up, you know, it's like all different stuff. Mark Mark the ticket.

I have my dry erase first course out, second course out. I would have to say, Joe, that at this

point in both of our careers, we are past situationships with food and the food industry. We are in long-term relationships. Probably one of the longest standing relationships I've ever had in my life has been with food and the food industry. Yeah. You know, me and the food industry have four kids together, you know. You do. You just open, you just gave birth to the fourth one recently. It's like, you know, being in food is like saying you're married to your job, but kind of on steroids,

because it goes beyond being just a job. It is a lifestyle. It's so much more than that. Right. And you're married to a crazy person that everybody's like, why are you married to this person? You're like, I just love them. I just love them so much. You don't see what I see in them. And they're like, no, I don't. They seem like an abusive relationship. They're like, they seem completely insane and like this is horrible and terrible. Like all you do is like, complete about this.

So you're like, I know, but I love them. So Joe, I want to ask you a few questions about your relationship with food and the food industry. So let's look at it in terms of the stages of a

relationship. What would you say was your first date? I mean, really like, you know, I started working

of this when I was 16. And so it was like, you know, bar grill, like working for my buddy's dad. And that was like, you know, my first introduction to it. You know what I mean? The first time meeting them where you're like, oh, why do I feel this way? You know, it feels different. And it did. And I feel like because it's like, you know, especially like in high school,

“you were looking for a sense of belonging somewhere. Right. And I think that's where, you know,”

in my life where it's like you've gotten trouble or you either get in trouble or you find something good. Because you find either a sense of belonging with a bunch of people you shouldn't be with. But also like a restaurant, it felt like the first place where I was like, I was makes sense. I feel like I belong. You know what I mean? There's there's a sense of belonging to working in a restaurant where it's like, and I think it's the same thing people get from being

on like a team that they really like. And I think you hear people talk about it when they stop playing sports or stop doing stuff. They miss being on a team. They miss being part of it. And I think it's something you've talked about, you know, since not working in restaurant kitchens anymore where it's like you missed that sense of team, right? You miss that camaraderie. And I think like that sense of team and camaraderie of a restaurant was what I fell in love

“with right away. So that's your first date. The moment you fell in love. What was the honeymoon phase?”

I mean, I think the honeymoon phase was that phase. Was, you know, 16 to 19 working in restaurants. I felt like I lived a different life than everyone I knew. You know what I mean? I worked late. I got to be out at hours that 16 and 17 year olds didn't get to be out at. You know what I mean? I worked at a bar that closed at 2 a.m. on Saturday night. So I was driving home at 3 in the morning. You know, like, and it's like most of my friends,

like their curfew was four hours before that. But that era, that it just, I felt like the coolest. I liked what people I knew, came into the restaurants. I liked that I knew the people who were regulars. I liked that I knew everybody on the staff and we were friends. And I was friends with all these older people who were like cool. Like that part of it. It was such a, it was so intoxicating. You know what I mean? I just was, I was part of a grown-up world where everywhere I was

I was treated like, you know, I'm a kid in high school, right? Right. But like when I was there, I was just part of the team. And I got to, I got to live in a world where it's like people talk

But I think like that's, you know, where it really was for me. And then I think even, you know,

when you first get into cooking, those line cookiers, like, I don't know if you could call them the

honeymoon years. I don't know how you look back at them. It's like, I kind of look back at them. Like they're almost like, like college for us, right? Where you're like those line cookiers where you're like in college and it was crazy in your party and it like it was a shit show and it like, it wasn't great. But it was awesome. So it was really awesome. I don't know if I look at my line cook days as a honeymoon face for sure. I mean, I would consider my first date with the food industry,

being behind the scenes when my mom worked in restaurants, doing my homework in the non-smoking section, mopping bathrooms, busing tables for as unglamorous as it was, that was my first date.

“That's where I was getting to know restaurants. And did I think I would see them again?”

Wasn't so sure at the time. But then I did start to fall in love with it because of those memories growing up. To me, that was where you feel accepted. I was sick and I was a little bit of an outsider when I was younger at school, definitely caught some heat from some bullies. And being in restaurants is where I felt safe. That's where I felt like people loved me. Nobody was judging. Nobody was looking at me crazy for being the sick kid. It was just like,

they loved me. They protected me. Like that felt like home. So that was kind of how I fell in love with them. And that's why I came back as I got older. But it was really kind of like my first line cook job in Orlando. I had applied for prep cook position. And somebody had no call no showed. So I show up to be a prep cook for that ship. And they're like scratch that year on the line. I was like, oh dear God, it went south in so many ways. And the sushi I've had to come bail me out

on my station. I got on the station with no training, no concept of what the dishes on the station were. I mean, it was kind of their fault for doing that. But they just needed a body on the station. But it was a moment that I really fell in love with it because it's so tactile. It's like, here's a problem. You solve it. You go on to the next. And you're doing that every 30 seconds. And I was like, oh my God, this is like intoxicating. I am. It's in stratification over and over and over again.

And it's that feeling of, you know, I think when people talk about like, I don't fucking golf.

“But people of golf are like, oh, you hit that one good shot. And that's what keeps you going.”

And I think that's really cooking days. It's like, you get that one nice knife cut. You plate the one plate that looks perfect. And you look, you're chasing that feeling. Yep, nailed it. Got to do that again. I feel like my honeymoon phase was when I worked in pastry at a resort on the Gulf of Mexico. That for me, because it was it was so OCD. If you mess something up, it's because you deviated from the recipes.

You didn't check the humidity monitor on the wall and adjust as the recipe book said. So I'm getting constant praise, right? Because I know how to follow a recipe. Everything you just described is my literal fucking nightmare. Like, if something was like, what's the worst job you can imagine to be like,

pastry production on the Gulf of Mexico? It was amazing. And it was like an OCD wet dream in so many ways.

But I was getting constant validation, which I hadn't gotten at these restaurants before. And so this was where I was like, oh my god, maybe I'm maybe I'm kind of good at this. I kind of like this. This was like pure honeymoon phase. Then I went back to the savory side and got my ass kicked again. But that honeymoon phase boy was beautiful. Joe, I really want to ask about work relationships. You know, Valentine's Day is about relationships.

It's about love. And there are a lot of relationships that we have with the people around us at work. They're kind of like cousin siblings, parents. It's a great dynamic of people that you can be very close to love and hate at the same time. But it's weird because you're just co-workers, but it feels so personal and so close. Well, I'm like having a chef you work for for a long time, is a relationship in a way, anyway, shape or form. And it's like, you know, sometimes it's not a

good one, but it still is one. You know, it's always interesting to me. And I don't, you know,

know what your experience has been with it. But it's like different chefs like when you have,

“you know what I mean? It's one thing about the relationship. But when you have the breakup, right?”

When you got a towel, it's over. And you know, like as a as a chef, I've been fortunate enough for it. It's like I've not been on the receiving end of, you know what I mean? Somebody break it up with me. Of, you know, getting fired or being told to, you know, being dismissed from a job. Okay, yeah. I've always been the one who left. And, you know, it's a weird thing. And I think of like the old school mentality of like, you know what I mean? In the 90s and stuff, the stories

you hear from chefs is like, once I left somewhere, they were human chefs ever spoke to you again.

that stiff competition of like, well, if you're leaving, if you're not with us, you're against us.

I always wondered where that came from. I'm like, this person, you know, gave their blood

sweat and tears for you. And then unless they get a really big name, that other chef would act like they don't exist. Yeah, because you're going to work for their competition. You're going to work for the end of me. Or going to be from the competition. Right. And there's parts of it where it's like, you kind of get, you know what I mean? Where it's like, you know, I'd be lying if I said I never felt a way about where somebody was going to work based on who they were going to work for.

Where you don't even mean, it's like seeing your acts with like, you know, they're new person.

“And you're like, oh, really? Like him? Her? That's what you left me for. Oh, okay. Right.”

Like you think they're better than me? You know what it's like? Weirded, it's like, you know, you see chefs. They get like weirded jealous about it. Like, oh, you know, they make you laugh. Like, I made you laugh. You know, it's like, how's her comida? Is her comida good? Right. Right. Like do you guys do fun stuff? Do they have good family meal for you? Or do they just need you? Right. Yeah. Like what kind of activities do you guys do? Do you hang out?

You know, like, and it's, you know, it's like, there's a weirdness to it. Because it is relationship. But we get, you know, I think like chef's get possessive of their people. You don't even look like you're like, I did put, you know, you put blood sweat and tears into them. But they also put it into you. Right. You know what I mean? I think that's the transition. You understand more as you're going to be in the sous chef of the chef. It's like you put everything

into your people. And then like one day they're like, okay, now I'm going to call. It's a weird thing. It is. And it's really about how you handle it. Do you communicate properly? You know, the chef still might be hurt if they didn't see it coming. If they thought that you were the kind of, you know, chef, sous chef who would be with them for the long haul, then they still get upset. But I do think it's really important to handle it well and communicate. And I've, you know, I've been guilty

of that. I've left a job and didn't communicate openly with my chef about why or, you know,

always gave good notice. It's not like I quit a day out. You know, I'd give a month notice or three

months. But I definitely left places where I could have communicated better with the chef. And, you know, jeopardized a relationship. That was very important to me. And it took me years to men that relationship. But it was an important one. It was important to me that chef had poured a lot into me. So I put in the work. You know, it's like a relationship. You got to put it in the course. You're really mean. And I think you get that back. You know, I'm at a point now where it's like,

you know, I try to tell people when I bring a month. It's like when you get to the point where you're ready to leave, like, come talk to me. I will try to get where you want to go. Like, if you are open and honest with me about it, then like, I will do everything in my power to try to get you wherever you want to go. And if you're not, if you just leave, whatever, it's like, that's fine. That's fine too. You owe me nothing. Like, the agreement was you'd work here for as long as

you decide to work here, right? And that while you worked here, you did the job up to the standard. And you are a good member of the team. That's the deal. You owe me nothing else. And that's fair.

“So if you want to leave, you don't want to tell me where you're going. You don't want to tell me what you're”

doing. That's fine. But it's just like, for me, I'm almost just like, why wouldn't you let me help you? Right. I can't even say, like, I'm offering to, you know, maybe you don't trust me in it. But it's like, you know, maybe I've a track record of helping people do it. But it's like if you want to get somewhere, the more you let me know, the more I can help you. Another one that I find really interesting is our restaurant relationships with the people

were shoulder to shoulder with. So before you're a chef, not necessarily the chef you work for or people leaving you as a chef. But the colleagues, the co-workers, your linemates, your friends. Like, those are people who, I mean, we trauma bond. I'm there for their successes, were there for each other's failures. Like, we go through such an emotional experience together. And then if somebody leaves the restaurant, it's like, okay, my best friend doesn't exist anymore.

You know, it's like, it's, it's what we, yeah. I always say you get to take like one or two

“with you from every restaurant. Like, you know, it's like, I think when you first start, you know,”

I mean, at least in my first kitchen job, but like, we're like, I'm going to be friends with all these people forever. Right. You know what I mean? Like, we're all going to be chefs. We're all going to be running restaurants. We're all so good. And I'm going to know all of them and, you know, events for the rest of my life are going to be me and all these people who I came up with here. And there's some, right? You know what I mean? There's some of that trickle down. There's one or two who it's like, it's crazy

that, you know, I'm, I'm, my best friend, you know, of 20 years. I met was my station partner at Table 52. Right. And like, we were station partners and then we lived together in my parents' house. And then we lived together with my cousin. And then, you know, like, I introduced him to his wife,

You know, we've been friends for 20 years now, just because, like, you know, we're both named Joan. We both worked a wood fired up and together at Table 52. And we were great station partners.

“You know what I mean? It's a best station partner. I think there were two or three guys who”

stood up at my wedding who were station partners and bought at one point, you know, and who became, you know, one of them, I, but, but a year and it's like, the godfather of his, of his daughter. You know what I mean? And we were just like, we were station partners the other. Air and I were torn-outs together. We were due to your sues together. And like, at girl to go. And it's just like, it's wild, like, how intense those bonds are, how deep those friendships go,

yeah. And it's like, you know, there's still people where it's like, we step back on the line. You know, like Aaron and I had the opportunity. We cooked together maybe a year and a half ago to about he was there helping somebody out. I was there cooking. And like, we got out of the line together. And it was like, there miss a beat. Didn't miss a beat. Like, it was a close as I felt a feeling of 25 again. You know what I mean? And forever, because it was just like,

we're just slaying in pants just digging, you know what I mean? This is, this is the shit.

“Yeah, I always think about that because like my sister's a property manager. And she's got friends”

from companies that she worked at previously that she formed relationships with. They go out to dinner. They'd hang out. And they maintain those relationships throughout their careers, even when they go to different companies. But when I've changed restaurants, it's almost like because of our hours. And because we don't get to see it's like, I'm working 12, 14 hours a day. If we don't work our one day off that week doesn't line up,

I'm never going to see you. And I'm going to see you for six months. Right. So you're like the

closest people to me for two years. Like, I can tell you everybody on my favorite line that I ever worked that I was super close with. Ron Sue, Austin Baker, Eddie Dollinger, Michael Tyler, and me, the five of us held it down on train line at the Bernadette. And for a good, it was a heavy two, three-year period. Rocked it out. All got good. We pushed each other. We challenged each other. We talked a lot of shit to each other. But we had such close bonds and relationships. And then

somebody would leave. And it's like, you know, it's like a piece of you left. And you got to get that dynamic back. But I almost never talked to that person again. Well, yeah, this weird, you can't take them all with you. Right. There's one that it's like, you know, like Joe was from table 52 and my other buddy John there. You know what I mean? Those are the two guys who I still talk to a lot. And you know, here for my chef there were once in a while. And then like my buddy Aaron

from from the goat and my other buddy GM there. But it's like, there's one or two each restaurant that you're kind of able to take with you. Right. And it's like the rest. It's like everybody spreads out. And it's like, and then it's like, I still see him. I saw one of my cooks from belly cue was at an event I did Monday. And now he's a, he's like a chef and structure at a eligibility college I take. And it was like, like, probably haven't seen him in a lease a year. But it's like, you know,

it's still, it's like, it's like, it's that like he's like, you know, like, chef give me a big hug and like, you know, we'd seen those people. And it's like, you know, somebody was there. She was like, man, she's like, do you just know everybody at this event? It's like, well, I've just, I've been around I've worked. Yeah. You know what I mean? I've been around for 20 years now and I worked at a lot of places and I worked with a lot of cooks. It's just like, it is a wild thing. It's a weird thing.

And it's like, I will say at this point in my life, I've tried to do a better job of checking in on my people. Right, maintaining them, putting in the work, putting in the work, for like my two chefs who left or cooks who leave where it's like, you know, checking in on them

“before, you know, because I always tell them, like, hey, if you want to get a coffee, if you want to”

catch up, let me know. Like, I'm always done. You know what I mean? But if I haven't heard from them

for a while, trying to bridge that gap and be like, you know what, like, I can send them a text and be like, hey, you want to, like, how are you doing? And then, you know, usually if I send that text, they're like, hey, you know, I've been meaning to catch up with you. Like, we have coffee, we have lunch and, you know what I mean? Make the time. Because other people have done that for me, you know what I mean? From Stephanie to Tony to, you know, Kevin Baying to, you know, all sorts of people who, you know,

I work for over the years who have taken the time or, like, have a coffee with me, have a meal with me, and, you know, what I needed advice or just needed to be, you know, talked off the edge a little bit. Right. And I can, I can honestly say, like, there are some of my, some of my, like, old co-workers and linemates that I keep up with. Like, my friend Ron, he opened him and another former co-worker actually opened a couple, actually, I think they're up to three or four, and Atlanta now,

and their first restaurant, Lazy Betty, has a Michelin star. And, you know, they're doing great.

They've got to pizza plays. They've got the fine dining plate. Like, they're killing it. And we've kept in touch, you know, intermittently throughout the year on cookbook stuff, on pop ups, on, hey, you'll be in New York, you know, all kind of stuff. And then other people, it's like,

I ran into him at the farmer's market. And I'm like, oh my God, you know, it's like,

you feel that love, you still feel that camaraderie, and that closeness, and there's, there's no feeling that can replace that because you see people when they are at their worst, working a line with somebody is a test of character. And it shows you who that person is, like, when you're mad and angry and frustrated, do you lash out? Or are you still a good person?

“And that shows you everything that you need to know about a person.”

You're gonna lash out or you're gonna start singing Neil Diamond songs to me in my ear, that no one else can hear or outcast or, you know, everybody's got their thing. And that's like, the beauty of it is like, those people, you know them, you know who they are in their core, like, I know you, like, know you so well, dogs, you know what I mean, you're like, you're like, dog, man, like, you know, you know, when you're still like, when you've got your back up against the wall,

I know you will fight your way out and you will not be an asshole while you're doing it, you know, that says so much about somebody's character. Yeah, and I know you'd lie for me in court if you had to. Absolutely. Another cool thing about the relationships and this is like personal relationships and work relationships is like, how do you keep each other motivated in a restaurant? Like, your co-workers and a restaurant, what are some of the ways that you and your people,

you and your friends, you should keep each other motivated during those busy, long, hard times of the year when you're just like, getting no sleep, crazy, busy at work, you know, how do you keep each other going? So this is a funny thing. I feel like it's less hard to keep each other motivated during the busy times, right? Because you're just going. Like, there's no time to think about. When you're going, when you're busy all the time, you're going at a rate, right? You got shit to do.

Everybody's got shit to do. We're just cranking. You know what I mean? We're working for each other. We're pushing. You're going at a speed. So I'm going to match that speed, right? Well, we're at

“pace. I think it's way, way harder to keep everybody motivated when the law's come.”

That's right. And I think that was always the trick of it. You know what I mean? It's like, how do

you keep people motivated when it slows down? Right. When you're not going a thousand miles an hour. When, you know what I mean? You're running a Michelin star restaurant that's going to do 20 coffers. How do you keep everybody up to like, hey, we got to be as sharp as when we're doing 101. We're having a bang in Saturday night. We got a full line. Now, there's only four of us here. Right. You know, I remember we had one where it was like, it was negative 40 with the wood chill

in Chicago. And so like, we closed Baja, but we had to keep Cafe open because part of the least for the building was like one restaurant had to be open. Okay. So I was like shit. All right. So I was like, I was like, what are we going to do? So I was like, I didn't want to call any of the cooks in because it was too cold. So I called my chefs. And I was like, hey, and one of them was my buddy, Aaron, from girl in the go here. It was working with us at the time. And so I said, hey, we're going

to do managers only. I was like, I'll pick you guys up. Get everybody over his home. You know, we're bringing dishwasher in. We'll send an Uber to his house to get them. And for the house, so just be managers. And so it was like, you know, we didn't know if we're going to do five people that night or whatever. I was like, well, we'll just go, we'll hang out. We'll have fun. And it'll just be like,

“when do you get to have three chefs? So it was like me and my buddy Brian, and I think my buddy,”

Eric, please. So it was like three dudes I love hanging out with. And we just had this whole the little cafes via the kitchen. It was small kitchen. So we just had this little kitchen for other house manager. She was like, what do we get to do? I'm like, I don't know if we're going to be busy or not or what's going to happen or if we're going to do anyone. I go, but we are going to do. So that was like, turn the music up. I was like, and you're going to make

everyone apperal spirits. And we're going to pretend like we are at the beach today. And we're going to drink apperal spirits. We're going to cook pasta. We're going to see what happens. We ended up getting crushed because we were the only restaurant that was open. Everybody else like closed. So it was, you know, I think we started the day with 10 covers. We ended up doing like 80 or 90 people. And like 70 of them were all industry people. Because it was like, you know, I put up a picture or

something like, oh, like we're in here. And we're great. I know where I can grow. Oh, you're open. We're coming. You know what I mean? So it was like, everybody's restaurants who closed all came in today that night. It was like, what are the funnest nights in my life? And it was just like just being stupid. Like we just had fun. You know what I mean? I think like those are the days where it's like finding like, like what little, like we used to do like I'm really slow days. We would

do like bad on just weird things. It would be like, I first take it out of the printer. What do you think

it's going to be? What's the first dish out of the printer? You know what I mean? I take like whatever a $15 bill or something. And I put it, I tuck it into the past. I'd be like, first dish out of the printer, let's go tonight. And you know, everybody would put a guess or we do over under on covers. You know, prices right style. Or you know what I mean? You got to get some covers without going over. Closes without going over on covers would be another bet. We'd roll once online gambling came

seventh like parlay. Oh my god. And then if we want it, you know what I mean? We'd split it. We'd never

want of it. Of course. But if you had you'd be all in the wars together. See, you used to do like I remember when when I was working at LeBurned in like 11 Madison, it had become like more widely known that they would put a quote on the past every day. And so we're like, you know what? That's a great idea. So during the busy season, it's like you almost need something to distract you because you're just ball to the wall every day for a five-month stretch. Everybody's working six days. So it could be hard

to kind of like you're performing at a high level. It's the expectations are high. So it would be fun to kind of like distract people a little bit. So Mike Tyler would like put a quote up on the inside of the stainless steel behind where our cook surface was and he'd put the blue tape around it or he'd put a photo up on the wall or something just so that we all had a touch point. When you go from cooking at the stove to like grabbing your microbes or your crunchies or whatever

to finish your dish, you like turn around and you see that thing. You see that one thing and it makes you smile and then you turn back to the stove and you keep going. And then during prep time,

“another thing we used to do and I think this was Austin's kind of like main thing. Austin and”

Eddie, they would be like, hey, shout down the line, hey, Freedom, give me five derivatives of XYZ Mother Sauce and we would play like culinary trivia. What are the feinerbs? What are the, you know, it's like we would play like random culinary trivia. My favorite one that I stumped several people throughout my career with in Rapunzel, what was the vegetable that led to them giving up their daughter? No idea. Radishes. The old witch was growing radishes in her garden.

I would have never got that one. We were, I wish we could say like, you know, sometimes we would

have very culinary based talks. You know what I mean? Where would you work if you weren't working here now? Where's one place you want to eat? Yeah. One of our favorite, my favorite was like, watch your favorite three meals you ever had. But like when it was like really bad and you really need to get out out of it, we would play this game where it was like tell us a story you've never told anyone. Like this was like OG walking confessions. And it didn't have to be like something like

solutions. It would be like one time in fifth grade like I peed my pants and I lied about it. I've never told anyone about it. It would be like, it would be hilarious because it would be like man, I'm shit like that. Or like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, like my sister got blamed

for this when we were six and like I have never come forward that like I actually broke that.

Like I've still never told my parents as they would have. And people would tell stories like that it was so like I mean, we would just be cracking out, you know, I mean, I'm alive dying, just like telling these stupid stories, but it just got you through. Our last part of the day, Joe,

“I want to do a little bit of Valentine's Day turn in bird. How do you feel about that?”

A little teasey and busy. Mm-hmm. I have some either ors for you, okay? Okay, I'm ready. Okay. Or Valentine's Day. If you weren't working, going out for a romantic dinner or spending a special night at home. At home. Okay. Um, for my kids. Take work and kids out of it. Yeah, at home. Okay, at home. I'm the same way. I think I'd rather be at home. If you were cooking, would you rather cook with that special

someone or cook for that special someone? Or instead of having them in the kitchen with you? Yeah, no, it's, yeah, no, it's, yeah, four. Are you cooking with? Yeah, it's too chef-steven over there? I mean, man, no, this is way around the kitchen. So it's not like I used to be super, no, I don't, I can't work with people at home in the kitchen, but I'm starting to see them. Are you being a fucking hot-home like there's somebody else outside Stephen? You know, I mean,

like you don't want to name his name to protect his identity? I used to just be super closed off about anybody being in the kitchen with me at home. Like, no, I got this. Like, please stay all right. Just shock him to hear. But recently, I have, I've really started to see like

“how much fun it is to cook with my husband. It's actually more fun than I think I realized before.”

So I think I would cook with instead of just cooking for I want to, I want all parties to be equally culpable here. If you're out at dinner on Valentine's Day, do you order desserts to share or separate? Always to share. I'm also, though, like, you know, and I feel like it's so rarely,

Don't want to hear it. It's irrelevant. It's irrelevant. We're ordering all of the desserts.

Like, you know what I mean? It doesn't matter how many. If there's two of us, if there's six of us, whatever, like, send it. All of it. All of it. All of it. Okay. I'll be like, no, you thought you heard me say some of it. I want all of it. The whole dessert menu. Okay. So that brings me to my next one.

“If you could only choose one, would it be chocolate soufflé or chocolate lava cake?”

These are two Valentine's Staples, which is yours. This is my question, though.

Those are a sauce for the soufflé. Okay. Classic cremonglace, crack the top, pour the cremonglace

into the center of the soufflé, traditional style. Also would wildly depend out where I'm at. You know what I mean? If I add, you know what I mean? Okay, assume they're both going to be executed well. A neighborhood restaurant at the south side. I'm going to go lava kind of like, I'm not trusted. You know what I mean? If somebody's decided they're going to throw soufflé on the menu, I've had a lava cake six bucks for my house. It's delicious. It's

last. It's a scoop of vanilla ice cream on that bad boy. Let's go. I don't know. There's soufflé game up at cans, but you know, maybe it's all right. Okay. Well, just assume that they're both going to be done well, which is your cup of tea. They're both being done to the the highest

“regard. I think like the soufflé is more special to me. You know, because it's something”

you don't see very often anymore. And I think like when you have a really good soufflé is like mind blowing. You know, I mean, I think like textureally, you know, temperature wise, all of those things. I think it's just, you know, it's, it's a classic for a reason. It's a perfect, you know, we need dessert for a reason. So I probably go soufflé. I have to assume you're going soufflé. Oh, 100%. Oh, yeah. Gimepelli dream.

Oddly in. Thank you. Oddly in. Okay. And final question, Valentine's Day gift, flowers or chocolate.

Always flowers. Mm. I was flowers. You know, like the Walgreens box of Russell Stover

assorted chocolates. I'd be one. There's always chocolate in my house. I would say I always have a little chocolate sash going. Flowers. I think flowers are the best. I like flowers one of those things. I'd like by in flowers. Like, even, you know, you go to a farmer's market and they've lost some

“flowers like it's a bus. It's such, you know what I mean? It's so frivolous and silly. And I think that's what it's”

nice. Yeah. I love that. You know, flowers are chocolates. Flowers, 100%. Chocolate with sit there for a year. And I might nibble one or two of them. Flowers, I will look at in smile throughout the day. And when I think about them, I will smile. I love flowers. No, no, if you want to send me chocolates. I would not send anything. I would be delighted. Why not? That's a nice thought. I might send Hillary some flowers. But I'm not sending you a damn thing.

No, I'll send her some chocolates. I can eat them all. I'll be good. I love it. Joe, will Happy Valentine's Day to you and years. I hope you guys have a great service this weekend. Age, Happy Valentine's Day to you. I hope it is filled with all the love and none of the two tops. Well, Happy Valentine's Day. That is it for this episode of The Chefs Cut. Be sure to subscribe wherever you're listening, especially if you're watching us on YouTube, where you can find

full length episodes of the show. And be sure to follow us at The Chefs Cut Pot on IG. For Joe Flam, I'm Adrienne Cheatam, and this has been The Chefs Cut. Life beyond the past.