Manipulation Expert: How To Influence Anyone & Make Them Do Exactly What You Want! - Chase Hughes

starts a shopping trip. I'll tell you the first day of shopping. And the platform makes me no problem. I have many problems, but the platform is not one of them. I have the feeling that shopping trip will continue to continue.

Everything is super simple, integrated and connected. And the time and the money that I can't answer is there. Everything is in the box. Yet it's the cost of those tests and I'll Shopify point the day. This is how social media starts roping you in.

This is how politics starts roping you in. This is how cult leaders will recruit you into a cult. It's the number one way that we influence another community. Micro compliance. And hypnosis is a great example of this.

Like, I can have a person laying on the floor unconscious in maybe a minute and a half. And it's very easy to do. Anybody can learn to do it. But one of the things you'll see me do at the beginning of that is like give me your hand. But both things out like this.

And if you flip them over, you look all the way up and look all the way down. Well, make them do like 50 things. None of the things that I just did with them are meaningful. Everything was micro compliance. And you don't realize that you're going through massive amount of compliance.

So in order to get your behavior to change for influence another human being, use what works for brainwashing. Because our brains have not developed one more wrinkle in the last 200,000 years. So a regular example of this is novelty. Anything novel hijacks our brain. So if you're trying to change your beliefs,

you want to lose this weight, change something up in your life. Change your wardrobe, repaint the walls in your office.

“You need to tell the animal part of our brain here.”

Because this has been proven on FMRI studies that the decision shows up before we're conscious of it. What about human human skills? So people are starving to have great conversations that are very influential. Which means that if I'm in a attorney, I can sway a jury. If I'm a hostage negotiator, I say people's lives.

If I'm a parent, I raise better kids because I can communicate in a way that gets the outcome that I'm looking for. And you can do that with any of these techniques, like negative dissociation, the childhood development triangle. So there's this thing called the PCP model.

And when it comes to influence in human beings,

that is the most important thing that you could ever understand.

That might just be the most important skill in the world. So let's do some roleplaying. All right. Guys, I've got a favor to ask before this episode begins. 69% of you that listen to the show frequently haven't yet hit the follow button.

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Chase, the world is changing rapidly before our eyes. On so many fronts in terms of geopolitics, but also in terms of technology with this whole AI thing, that's rapidly accelerating. And with that, you've got things like robotics, they're on the way.

And Elon Musk saying that we'll have 10 billion humanoid robots in the world in the future.

And these are going to be intelligent robots because the software within them is now artificial. And it's incredibly intelligent. One of the things people say to me a lot is in a world where we're going to have all this intelligence. What jobs are going to remain? And one of the points of consensus from interviewing all these great AI experts is that human skills,

any skills that are irreplaceably human, social skills, people skills are going to be of extreme value. You spend a lot of time teaching people these skills. I asked you a question just before we started recording. The question I asked you is, what is the thing you like talking about the most that you think adds the most value to people?

What did you say? Helping people understand how to guide human decision and have great conversations that are very

“influential. What does that mean in real specific practical times?”

It means that if we are in a conversation, I become more likely to help you achieve the outcome that I see for you. So if I'm a leader, then I can do that. If I'm an attorney, I can sway a jury. I can make a jury pick a certain decision. If I'm a hostage negotiator, I say people's lives. If I'm a parent, I raise better kids because I can communicate in a way that gets the outcome that I'm looking for from another person.

That might just be the most important skill in the world.

I think it is. Increasingly so in a world of AI, where computers are going to be able to handle a lot of this intelligent, white-collar related stuff for us and we're going to be rendered useful only for that which humans can do, which is probably this stuff, the IRL in real-life human to human stuff. And I think people are starving for it. You've got a podcast that's non-performative

people are starving for realism already and this is pre-AI. This was starting to blow up because it just gave us a sense of something that was real. We are in an epidemic right now of loneliness where people are disconnected from each other and these human skills are going to matter more than ever as AI comes out. I was thinking about what you teach in terms of human behavior and getting the best out of people and influencing people to do what you want them to do.

And AI does a lot of that. It seems like it's been programmed to understand human behavior

and to get me to like it. So let's get into some of that human behavior that you think is critical

in a world of AI. In a world of AI, if the skills that matter the most are human to human skills, where does one begin? Let's understand humans first. How could AI compromise

“and when it comes to influencing human beings, the most important thing that you could ever”

understand whether you're a CEO of a mom or dad is this thing called the PCP model. And PCP is a three-step cascade that happens inside the human brain when we get influenced whether we're doing something massively extreme like some mentoring and candidate type of stuff or we're just having a sales call and we make a sale. Everything goes through PCP. So PCP is perception. So the first step to really changing somebody's outcome, getting you to make a

decision later on is to change how you're viewing this situation. So when people talk about owning the frame of a situation or redefining what a situation means right there is changing the perception of it. If we're just talking about AI, AI can say yes Stephen, I see what you mean and I can see

why you're frustrated. You know one of those like standard responses. But here's what's here's

what this is really about and it gives you this layer that makes you say oh shit like this is it's going deep. So now it's hit the P on the PCP model. So it's modified your perception of a situation. And how is it specifically done that there is it because it's acknowledged my point of view but then given a new one. Yes. So if it just given me a new one I might not have believed it but because it first acknowledges my point of view before delivering it a different one that's

more effective. Yes. And the biggest mistake that people make with language is language should be

“resonating and not directing. If you want to speak well you're not directing people to think”

certain things or to feel certain things it should resonate with what they're already feeling and then start guiding them. So you're getting into their river. So to speak and flowing with that first. Okay so let's do some roleplaying. All right I say to you. Chase I think the sky is purple. Your job is to carry out the perception shift. Yeah. What would you say to me? So if somebody says something that is an idea that's far out there,

I'll always acknowledge it. And I would say like every human being is different and it's

fascinating how many rods and cones we have in our eyes how we all perceive things differently. And it's amazing when you see one thing that you might see something that's purple and I see the exact same thing. We may be seeing the identical color but our brains are just interpreting it

“differently or maybe we have a different word for it. And it's amazing how much we agree on and we just”

don't realize how much aligned we are with a situation in life. That makes sense. So I've never had to respond to somebody calling this guy purple but if I can modify how you perceive a situation. So let's say we're at a business networking event and I walk up to you and I say let's say call out the script openly call out the script and I say it's amazing how many people are just running the script of I need to look like a business professional. I can't say anything that

makes me look emotional. I can't say anything that's personal. I have to hand out a business card. I have to put on this persona. So I'm just openly saying the script that's running inside that person's head and I'm making you aware of it which means that I'm changing your perception of the situation. So anything I can get you aware of that's running inside of your own head. I can massively start transforming your behavior and we'll get to identity here in a minute but

any script that you call out you're weakening its power. So like if you shook my hand super aggressively or somebody shook my hand like a pretend alpha male and you call out exactly what they're wanting to happen. And you say wow the handshake is really firm. I just read an article a few weeks ago that only alpha males do that and you say the quiet part out loud. So any script that's running

powerful over the situation because I've lessened the power of a script. Any script that we push down is going to be a lot more powerful in that person. Increasing power. On that example of the

“very over the top hand shake by calling it out what have you done? What have you done in my head?”

So I'm all not just squeezed your hand really tight because I want to be an alpha male. You call it out. Well what does that do? It disarms me or it makes me feel great. Now and I'm not saying

that's a tactic anybody should do but if there's a script running here like here's what we're

supposed to do. You and I are on a podcast we're supposed to make eye contact with each other we're supposed to nod throughout this entire thing. I'm making both of us more aware of this and that gives us a little permission to break away from it. Oh it's a break away from it. Yeah. So your desire to be the alpha male in the handshake situation would be temporarily kind of broken because I'm openly saying out loud what you didn't want to say out loud. Oh okay that makes sense. Oh okay

so you're like kind of cooling it out but without it being without making fun aggressive. Yeah yeah. So after I shift your perception I all I need to do is get you to see a situation a little bit differently and if you turn on the news oh my god are you going to see this all day every day.

The perception changes. Oh you thought it was about this guess what here's what they did today

and they did this blatantly and they're now it's in your face. They do all of this stuff to shift your perception and in order to get your behavior to change once I shift your perception then I changed the C and that in this model and the C is context and context is the most important thing in the world and nobody's talking about it. Probably everyone watching this or listening to this right now is going to get naked today. They'll get in the shower they'll get in a bath whatever it

is but some almost everybody's going to get naked. We're probably not going to do it in the middle of an office building like at work context dictates what behavior is permissible. So if if you go back

“to 19 I think it was 1957 there's this guy running a stage hypnosis like comedy show you know”

where they bring people up on stage and make them do silly stuff and one of the guys that's up on stage she's knocked out and he's doing all this crazy stuff he's an off duty police officer. So he's concealed he has a concealed handgun but one of the skits in this or one of the bits that this comedian does he tells the people that all of you are sheriffs and you can't leave the stage but everybody in the audience right here is rowdy they're making lots of noise you

need to tell them to keep it down. So this starts and the hypnotist says now they're not even listening to they're not respecting you and then he says they're they're you can't leave the stage but one of them's pulling out a gun and this off duty police officer pulls out his service weapon and starts firing into the crowd this is a true story true story really yeah but is he a monster of course not because context dictated what he would do so if I can change context to where

what I want you to do is just an automatic thing I can make you do anything the real skill is just being able to shift perception and context if you can just shift perception and context you can radicalize someone on the internet and turn them into a shooter you can radicalize somebody politically and make them excommunicate their entire family over Thanksgiving I'll give you an example from

“UK and in 1979 I think there was a fire in in Manchester in Woolworth's department store and”

it was during the daytime doors were open and it turned out that most of the people that died were in the restaurant and these the restaurant was right by the door so the fire inspector looked

and they were trying to figure this out and a psychologist finally came along and said they

died because they were waiting to pay their bill because no one gave them permission to kind of stand up and walk out no one did it first so they kind of just went along with the crowd and in the context of a restaurant you don't stand up and walk out until you've paid your bill so the context can also lead us into something like that so the perception of the situation even though there's a fire I'm locked in context of I'm sitting in a restaurant and and that's been tested

time and time again where people will sit in a smoke-filled room long enough to die just because nobody

for like I don't know Debbie and Ohio yeah who's listening yeah how does she work and think about

“context when she's in a sales meeting speaking to a husband have son however it might be yeah so”

one of the best things that you can learn when it comes to being able to shift context is setting the frame of what every interaction is and being the one to openly say what the frame is as the conversation starts let's say you're talking to a kid and it's apparent talking to a kid the kid thinks they're in trouble that's the context they have and I need to shift their perception of our situation before I can change their context so we sit down we start the conversation and I'm

so glad that we could have this talk in a calm way that is focused on learning instead of punishment a massively transformed perception and context so I've changed what this means and the definition of what's allowed here so context gives us the final p which is permission so if I change your perception of a conversation and you can do that right away and if if I'm entering into a negotiation and we start the room with I'm glad that we could all come here for this and I know both of us

want to find calm and ground as fast as possible and I suggest that maybe we even start there so I'm setting a frame right right from the very beginning it's so surprising how few of us do that when we go into a conversation I was just thinking back over the last sort of 10 days of my life

“in business meetings very important business meetings in Los Angeles with new potential partners”

and walking into the board room and sitting down and doing the formalities of like oh hi how is your weather like how's the weather weather weather weather weather and then a little bit of quiet we introduce ourselves and nobody really sets the frame or someone sets the frame but it isn't you yeah and actually that meeting would have been much more productive if I had volunteered up a frame very early and it was a frame in line with whatever I'm trying to get out of that meeting yeah

and anytime you're setting a frame or just kind of setting the perception of what's going on

especially in business start up by a negative first because people bitch about stuff in business

all the time and then go to the positive so you're doing kind of a contrasting statement so like let's say in in the last meeting you had if you said something like I'm so glad we're meeting today guys there's so many people out there that just fall into these competitive mindsets and it's really good to do business with people that are in a collaborative mindset instead of a competitive mindset with what you've said the frame that I wish I'd said based on all of the

the context was I walked into that room wanting to get a deal done because I'm sick of fucking talking about it on emails yeah and meetings meetings meetings meetings meetings so I wish I'd walked in said something words to the effective I'm so glad we could meet in person

to finally really make progress on this because there's been so much talk about theoretical deals

and I feel like getting us together can get us much closer, much quicker to figuring out

“and at a real deal that we can work on what's to that effect because I think that would have”

started the conversation away from the theoretical yeah if I just called it out but unfortunately I didn't say that and we spent a lot of time just talking about theoretical stuff again yeah and you can do that with permission at the beginning with a permission phrase and just say just so I understand and I may be I may be wrong here but what I understand is the purpose of this meeting is for us to kind of compile all these zooms that we've been on for months and months and finally get

something done and put a bow on it that we have some kind of finished product even if it's not perfect yet we have something tangible and that's that's permission so you're like I might be wrong about this but of course they'll probably agree with that. I think the same applies actually for romantic relationships thinking about having argument with your partner you can go in just emotion versus emotion if you don't take a minute just define define what we're trying to

accomplish from this and then when people drift because they do an emotional situations you've got a frame to bring them back into that you'd pre agreed on you know because when you get there's a they'll bring up something your mother did six you know four years ago or something you and it just drifts away from the frame yeah and if you watch the media especially the opinion side of the media they talk about a politician that they don't like what do they start

with this is going to scare you in another piece of terrifying news here's what this guy did

today up on the stage this politician did so they set the frame for it to be terrifying they're setting up your perception from the very beginning and then if I if I change the context in one context yeah maybe this politicians a bad guy another context is this person is a threat to democracy I've had that phrase along a lot and that me and what do we do to threats to our entire democracy we killed them so we start radicalizing people instantly without them really

that context so if you can modify perception and context you can give someone that permission

that final piece to do anything let's go back to the police officer in the hypnosis show he had the permission to start firing his firearm because of the context of being attacked by someone with a weapon so once the context shift your social permission of what I'm allowed to do like I don't strip down and get naked in my office but I do when I'm standing in front of a hot shower that is the permission to do things differently so if you want someone to do something that they normally

wouldn't do the question you ask yourself is in what context would the decision I need this person to make be an automatic thing if we agreed on 10 different things out of 11 then we the automatic thing would be for us to sign an agreement together okay or if if I'm being shot at the automatic

thing for me is to draw my weapon and fire back so it's an automatic behavior based that typically

in another situation would violate social permissions like I don't have social permission to

“to behave in that way I was reading about the story that you referenced I think I found the one”

in December 1923 the New York Times reported on it regarding a tragedy in Croatia where an Austrian hypnosis ended up firing into the crowd and killed three people and wounded several others before he was snapped out of his trance upon realizing that he had done it the officer reportedly arrested the hypnotist on the spot which is strange to let's call the cognitive destiny yeah well okay so PCP I understand that one of the things I was thinking about is is there

any way for my audience listening now based on everything you know about science in the way that we're manipulated with media is there any way that we might be able to help them be more objective in a world that is trying to force them into one frame or the other because I you know as a podcast this may be a selfish thing I speak just so many different people and I'm going to speak to someone

“on the right someone on the left up down left right I don't really as long as I think I'm going”

to help be able to have a conversation with them I'm going to meet them as I find them and I'm going to have a conversation with them and there's really no external pressure that's going to change that yeah unfortunately like I've I've had all the external pressure in the world and I'm not going to change that because I have to do this myself for a long period of time so my the thing that's going to keep me in love with this job is to be able to follow my curiosity and not be

trapped by anyone else's pressure but that requires your audience as well to be open-minded which means that if I sit here with Kamala Harris or with Donald Trump I I want my audience to come into the conversation with this an open mind as they possibly are able to let's talk about how to manipulate your next podcast guest into being more open-minded okay and this technique is something we teach called negative dissociation and the way that it works is I'll make a small

I'm it should sound like an observation about the world so in our discussion let's say we just sit down and I'd say you know what I'm I'm glad I'm interviewing there's a lot of people out there that are just so closed off and locked in these little rigid beliefs and I'm not sure whether it is they're just terrified of what what people are going to think about them if they step outside the lines or if they're scared of being open-minded for these other beliefs I'm not sure which one it is

but I mean you meet these people so often and you're going to nod you noded your head while we're saying because what it's what I'm saying sounds true and it probably is but you're making that person very covertly agree that they are not that person that makes sense it makes suffix and so throughout the conversation what you're really doing isn't you're not getting in making agreement about how they're going to act you're getting them in a making agreement about

who they are as a human being so the moment you can get them to covertly make an I am statement in their head you're hacking your way into that person's identity so like let's say you said that they nodded and then maybe a few minutes later you're like I got a confession make I had you know I had

social anxiety growing up how did you get this open about everything I mean you've always been

this way or was this through some kind of like leadership training or something like that that you went to and then moment you answer that question I've got you to commit now you're fully committed to being wide open for the rest of the conversation what would you assume they would then say

“in such a scenario you're like I don't know I think I've always been really open I haven't been”

really scared about what people think about me and I've always tried to wear my heart on my sleeve so now you're getting to make all these commitments that they're going to be like that going forward yeah okay I mean you're not permanently changing a human being but it's a temporary change that

you're speaking to their you said their identity their sense of who they want to be and that's

“heavily driven by social perception of what I think of them yeah but it's not that they want to be”

it's who they say they are and those are different so man Bob Scheldin he's got a great example of this they got these uh people the stick signs in the New York these giant ugly signs that say drive safe on them and the way that they got this like 85% of this neighborhood just stabbed them into their yard nasty stupid looking sign was a weak prior a weak before they knocked on their door and they said hey have a one

question survey it'll take 15 seconds do you support safe driving yes or no of course everyone's going to say yes and then so now they've made a commitment about who they are do you support so it's who are you as a person and they said alright thank you so much for that and just to show your support could you put this tiny small sticker in the window of your house facing the street and then like yeah yeah and they go stick it on the window but they're more likely to do it because

they just said yes but anyone who said yes I support safe driving a weak later would stick that giant stupid looking sign in their front yard and they double blinded this they did it in another

neighborhood where they didn't go door to door first they just went door to door and said hey can

we stab this giant ugly sign in your yard and like 1% of people said yes as opposed to like 85% in the other neighborhood but it's a tiny agreement about who you are as a person so this is the power of pre-committing getting someone to pre-commit to something before you ask them to do it yeah and you get them to pre-commit in terms of their identity and who they think they are and who they want to be yeah but you're not getting them I'm not using this technique to go to make

you sign a contract I'm using it to just make subtle shifts in how you're behaving in our conversation so if I wanted you to focus on me more I do the opposite of the negative dissociation thing and remember I'm not talking about you because if I'm sitting here saying oh Steven you play attention and so well in a conversation that sounds super weird and manipulative people say that to me well this time yeah maybe they want you to in reality if I do the opposite of what

that negative dissociation statement did and I make a positive group of people in a sign and

“attribute to them so that's how you would do this so it's like you know Steven it's amazing”

every time I meet these really high performing CEOs all of these fortune 100 companies that are work with you sit down with one of these CEOs it's like they all have the exact same quality you sit down with these people and they stop what they're doing and they're just completely tune in to other people when they talk to them so I'm taking a quality that I know you admire like CEOs all this kind of stuff and I'm assigning a trait to that and you're going to nod and

you're going to that sounds kind of true but it also means that you're agreeing that you are

also that type of person but I'm never saying it about you so this is if I'm talking directly

about you which is what so many influence people teach out there they're like oh I can tell that you this or I can tell that you're the kind of person that blank and blank and blank this is called aiming language my my language is aimed at you and you can feel it and people can feel that there's something going on if there's somebody sitting there making guesses and weird assumptions about them so anytime you're using any of these techniques it should feel and sound like you're

making an observation about the world it's interesting how this sort of power of pre-commitment can also be used on yourself to get you to do things yeah as you're saying I was looking down at some research here then there's multiple studies that I find fascinating one of them is a study conducted at MIT with students they gave these MIT students three major papers for their semester one class was given ultimate freedom they could turn in all three papers at the

very end of the semester with no penalty the other class was forced to pre-commit to strict evenly spaced deadlines throughout the semester and the students who had total freedom perform the worst and experience the most stress the students who pre-committed to certain deadlines produce the highest quality work and gave the best work and got the best grades it proved that

“that intentionally restricting our own future choices through pre-commitments is often the best way to be”

procrastination now remember the study they did with people on a beach where they had a fake thief run past someone next you're on the beach and grab a radio and 20% of people would chase the person but if someone had said to you in a different study where someone runs up grabs the

can you take a look can you just watch my stuff 95% of people would then chase the person stealing

“the radio because we've made a pre-commitment to another person so pre-commitments come work with”

yourself or you know with others which is fascinating because especially to yourself I find that interesting that I can change my own behavior by making a pre-commitment attached to my own identity I guess there's more moral share which is this study around savings they found that people who committed to saving even if they were on a piece of paper were up to five times in terms of percentage terms they went from saving 3% to saving 15% roughly 15% just because they'd done a

pre-commitment even years earlier that they would save that's beautiful I love that and you're kind of just pre-doing your own identity and if somebody wants to master that you make it about your social commitment to yourself to other people but publicly say like I am this kind of person to

“yourself so it's not like I'm I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow it's I am the kind of person”

that goes to the gym is a much more powerful identity based action and identity is the number one thing in the world when it comes to persuasion and influence there's basically the way that I teach this to intelligence people is when you're good at influence you're building two walls one wall is anxiety and the other one is cognitive dissonance and the hallway that you're creating is the relief from those from those things what are those two things so I know I know anxiety is but what's

coldness of distance well the the anxiety is like if I don't do what I say I'm going to have some so I'm going to face social rejection or if I if I go here and I break this rule or I don't do this I'm going to break a social contract with somebody the cognitive dissonance is I am the kind of person that does this and if I don't do this I'm not keeping with who I said I am and who I agreed to be and I'm facing cognitive dissonance so that's like when some politician wins the presidential

election that someone doesn't like like you have that cognitive dissonance either A I have to decide that wow a lot of people like this person or B everyone's stupid and it's a lot easier for me

to just say everybody's stupid and we always take that path so cognitive dissonance means that

it's bouncing them back into the hallway every time they bump up against something that they've previously agreed to and identity is the way that you can hack your own behavior so fast and the way that I explain this to people it takes 30 seconds to understand it if you were an Olympic athlete and you had a a bad ass body like you had a healthy diet everything was in perfect shape you woke up every morning you had great energy and all that stuff and one day you

woke up for some reason and you're 295 pounds and you wake up you're looking at mirror and this something weird happened overnight how fast would you get back to that body it would be lightning you may set world records for for weight loss because your identity is with that body it's not that oh I need to I want to lose this weight so I can be healthy it's this is not me and anytime you're feeling this is not me or this is against my who I am as a person it's the most powerful

motivator when it comes to influencing other people and influencing ourselves and it like a goal like a weight loss thing that I that I have a lot of my clients do is it's a download the face app there's like an app that'll make you look super fat and real real beast and print it off and put it on your refrigerator and then people are like oh well aren't I programming

my subconscious to be fat like no you're a program to go away from bad things first never

toward positive things first it's always a way your ancestors live because they mistook a rock for a bear not the other way around yeah never the other way around yeah so you're not going to accidentally program your brain and I'm the brain guy but put that on the fridge and you start you start hacking into your own identity but you're doing it in a way that you're mammalian brain the thing that runs the show can see it and understands it instantly there's no words there's

no motivational phrases or anything like that it picks up on it instantly and starts setting a

“course for because it's cognitive discipline set you're creating for yourself I remember near”

I out how I interviewed you right the book on procrastination called indestructible said to me

a phrase that's always stayed with me it's probably you know we spoke for six seven hours I

creatures and like we think that way pleasure seeking creatures but when he said discomfort avoiding I really like interrogate him as a kid but what about like horniness that makes me have sex and he was like well actually that horniness is a form of discomfort your body is sending you this sort of almost irritation which is making you take an action and I stress tested it across many areas of my life I was actually used to it's right I'm trying to avoid discomfort and in your

example of seeing myself on the fridge yeah I would I would want to avoid that it would cause such dissonance to my identity that I do everything to avoid that. It's a big feeling that's even on the orange yeah I mean that's actually every couple years what gets me back in shape

is like catching myself in the mirror or because I'm always on camera sometimes I don't see

myself kind of getting out of shape and then I watch the podcast back and I'm like oh fuck yeah like Jack didn't tell me no one's told me and then then I'm like right Jim every day again and yeah uh interesting and it's social because you're I mean you're making this commitment in front of a million people yeah what else do you think is important to know as we ped into this AI well it's where human skills and people skills gonna be more important than ever what other frameworks have

you got for me that I should bear in mind or ideas as we go into AI your leadership style everyone's leadership style needs to be front and center and I know there's a lot of books out there that are technically about leadership or but I think they're about management and they call themselves

a leadership book when I teach what's most important when it comes to understanding ourselves is

developing authority but that authority has those five traits of authority this is confidence, discipline, leadership, gratitude and enjoyment and do you do show notes where people can download stuff in the description yeah sometimes I'll send a send this inventory to you where people can take this quiz and it's it's the most revealing thing about your leadership power but what people tend to do is seek out the wrong type of authority I've learned this with

20 years of working with people that we will tend to seek one of these little avenues that looks

“a certain way because we think that's what leadership is supposed to look like that's what”

authority is supposed to look like but there are three types and the three types that I've broken them down into and how authority channels to other people because authority looks different in different people so it's the president the professor and the artist and we can have that authority so like the artist you can think of like somebody like Johnny Depp the president you can see think somebody like Obama the professor you can think of like the classic movie

professor it's still broadcast authority but it's not loud it's not extremely directive and the artist can hold a ton of attention and in some rooms doesn't hold any attention at all the authority is still there the attention isn't for somebody that's super calm even if they're the CEO of a company they might be the professor and the whole time their idea of what leadership

looks like is this president so they're faking their way into this thing and it never feels real

they still like even though there are authorities really high they have this weird feeling of inauthenticity because they're pushing towards the wrong authority channel what's the cost of that

“I think that it detracts from your level of authority which automatically means that you're getting”

less outcomes that you want in life because your inauthenticity to both others and yourself like pays a toll on you so if I'm inauthentic to you then that's gonna help my authority but then if I'm inauthentic to myself it's gonna help my happiness I guess yeah I'm gonna feel like yeah I'm gonna go back to your point of my identity yeah yeah and I think when people say authenticity we should note that what we call most people call authenticity is a costume of childhood beliefs

like my authentic self and how I act is typically what I was in childhood how I deal with conflict how I make friends how I stay safe all these little patterns that I learned when I was eight or nine I'm still repeating a lot of that stuff so when we say authenticity it's always important to think that it's authenticity plus a removal of ego and a willingness to receive

“social injury and that's the best way that I've ever been able to describe that to somebody”

like if I'm being authentic in a conversation then I'm willing to receive a social injury for it Cody Sanchez said something to me which is stayed with me she said I'm again I'm gonna put trip but words to the effect of I won't be friends with anyone in private that won't say something in public that will cost them something and going to point out social injury I think what Cody's actually saying is like that's how I know that their authentic is their willing to

like are they willing to call social injury in the near term for something they believe in the long term yeah you know yeah and a lot of what a lot of the recent brand debacles that we've had is they thought they were doing something to avoid social injury that caused massive social injury because people said you're not being authentic yeah your audience yeah yeah when they tried to do like get into identity politics and stuff like that yeah okay like like the extreme

virtue signaling and stuff like that yeah yeah which backflies can we go into this childhood

“development thing really quick I think it's super important for people to know sure and I'm”

a behavior profiler and if anybody listening didn't know that and one of the things that I teach everybody is this thing called the childhood development triangle so it's just three sides of this triangle so when you're growing up what did that child have to do most of the time to earn and keep friends so friends is one and then to feel safe what what did the kid have to do to feel safe for some kids safety was like I don't know somebody gives me a hug at the end of the day for some

kids it was like am I gonna eat today for some kids it's like cracking jokes yeah I'm gonna crack jokes and keep friends I'm gonna feel safe by becoming really loud and dominating the room I'm gonna become safe by getting really small and shrinking so nobody notices me or I'm gonna become safe by being hyper vigilant because I don't know if dad drank before he got home or if he's

“gonna start drinking when he got home so it's like what did that child what are the scripts that”

that child needed to run on autopilot to feel safe to make friends and then to get rewards

and that will be the third side and the rewards for some kids might just be like appreciation

and it's typically just appreciation affection love and that tends to get written in childhood and the kid who writes all these permanent scripts they put him in a backpack and carry them all the way into adulthood and 90% of us are walking around with this exact triangle governing our life and if you look around at people at work you see this woman who every time there's a meeting she wants to speak up a lot but then she shuts her mouth and her body shuts down

and all that kind of stuff you're seeing an eight-year-old who got yelled at at a family dinner table that's all but you're just seeing it in a grown-up body I have two examples that are super

“front of mind that completely align with what you've just said I have two colleagues that I work with”

and I got six months into working with one of them and I could always tell that there was something

not quite right because whenever I was in the room they would stare at me a lot and they would be a little bit more on the pessimistic side than I'm used to and one day at dinner I was talking to them about their childhood and they offered up that their dad was his mood could change rapidly and he was always pointing out why something would never work and why and he was an extreme pessimist and suddenly this person who is in my life suddenly made sense I completely understand it

because you grew up in that environment where to be safe you agree with it had to pay attention to the authority figure and then yeah you had to also you learnt maybe that you know pessimism was a way to safety yeah safety and then there's another colleague who's actually in the room over there and I'll ask her before we publish this if I can say this publicly but similar thing she expressed to me that she had a dad that was his mood would change rapidly and I said to her one

there I said I call her Sarah I said Sarah you're always staring at me is that whenever I look at

you're already looking at me and it's like you're like over analyzing and overthinking and she explained to me the same thing she said when I grew up my dad's mood would just change like this so every time I'm preempting I'm like a radical preemptor I'm thinking 20 steps ahead of like what might go wrong or you know which makes her exceptional at her job but I would you know it one way a shame that that comes at some kind of cost yeah it's a safety yeah very true very

true and the the way that I explain this if somebody wants to like it's not where you can kind of go back and like sit there for five minutes put it on a post and note and then figure your whole life out I wish I had a trick to do that but the way that like I want people to think about this is going back to your childhood a lot of those things this is just contracts that were written in a child's voice and when you start hearing these patterns repeating in your head force yourself

to hear the voice of a kid that's all it is it's just a kid who made these choices it's not an adult so we're typically three different people all of us we have a work self like a professional

that's classroom playground home so I'll typically take people through this process of

“where were you around authority figures which is like classroom or home but were you around when”

you're all your friends were around you got made fun of or you had to become really small and that that goes on the friends side of the triangle and that that talks about how the social patterns that are going to show up for me and somebody says well I keep attracting these negative people into my life why do I do that and that goes to these patterns because if I do this I know this is going to happen I know that's going to happen it's just completing a story archetype so that's the

childhood development triangle and it is really powerful to start understanding our own patterns and I'm not saying that you can go out there and there's like here's six steps that are going to change your whole freaking life if you if you do these six things the awareness is what you want you want massive like self knowledge and self awareness with the side agreement of I am not special

and I'm completely okay if I'm never understood because most of what happens when we get into

arguments with our spouse we get into these bitchy arguments with people at work it's our argument to be understood more than it is for us to come to a solution I need you to understand me so getting okay with the idea that you might not never never ever be understood is like step number one number two I am not special and that that helps us to open the door to start coming into a lot of these things but if you if you're a leader at work you can start seeing these patterns

in your employees and you can be like I see an eight year old there and if you get to a point where you're seeing some of these a behavior that might have pissed you off and somebody that works for you and you're like wait a second now I can see exactly what's going on because this this and this probably happened you don't need to make some prediction or fortune telling thing about their childhood but you're starting to see these patterns and you know now how your team is going to

respond in conflict and if it's a conflict and it's social you're seeing all their friends patterns if it's a conflict and somebody might be losing their job you're going to see their safety patterns come out and you'll see your own so do you think I should go to the key people in my life maybe my team and ask them these questions about around how did you make friends is that the question what did you do to make and keep friends what did you make and keep friends and what was the

“safety question again like what what did you need to do or avoid to feel safe and the rewards one”

what did you feel and this one's always you want to put the word feel in there what did you feel

like you had to do to earn rewards and what were rewards to you okay it was appreciation or somebody that's like hyper significant driven like I've got to have the Rolex I've got to have the Ferrari's and all of this kind of stuff they never got rewards because their parents ignored them unless they brought home a certificate their teacher called and said they did a good job they played the piano recital and did a great job and lots of people were acknowledging them and clapping for them

they only got acknowledged when they were socially significant and I'm right in thinking here that these are fundamentally interlinked in many ways because when you're talking about safety I was running through my head the things that made me feel safe and they would rewards that I could tell my friends about yeah so I liked I touched all three of them and part in part because we you know I was thinking I was very different to my social group when I younger we were the black family

there wasn't another black family that I knew of um other than maybe one other kid I think in the area in plummet in 1994 or five um so some of the material things I wanted like the shoes that everyone had made me feel safe because they made me fit in yeah and bet you know and that got me friends yep race I thought it did so like for me it really was like an interconnected triangle yeah that's just one of many examples that I could think of it does tend to do that and I will typically wait for somebody

to figure that out and as they're filling it out they they're kind of like oh I did this because of this to get to this and it you'll see a little cycle start happening but it's great for self-knowledge

“but if you're a behavior profile that that's what's gonna run people you're gonna know how they're”

gonna respond to conflict you're gonna know what they're gonna avoid you're gonna like if you're putting teams together I know what people I want to have working with each other and it doesn't have to be some complex nine hour thing like you can see this stuff in everyday life and you're not saying that I need to radically change you know but what if one part of this triangle or one behavior I've learned for safety or for rewards or for friends is making my life worse yeah you know what it

could be ruining my life like it could be the things standing in the way of me having a romantic relationship or getting promotion or building a business it's like getting in the way now yeah

like oh I've got this shit that's happening on repeat the part two of this is I need to focus on

“that being a kid that be long to a child and I need to write down like this here's how that child”

wrote the contracts made the promise to themselves to develop the contract and then even if you make it up like when this I'm going to write down a little thing when did this kid bring it into a adulthood I need to stay small in order to say safe let's say it's one of those things and then you just start telling yourself that is a child's voice that's a child's voice to the voice is not going to go away that's the sad part that's like me you're trying to not complete the sentence

Mary had a little in your head you can't get rid of it no matter how hard you try to delete that it's repeated over years and years just like one of these things that what truly changes for you is hearing a child hearing a misguided child who developed a coping mechanism for the world not knowing that they were like they just assumed I'm going to have this forever I'm going to need this as an adult I'm going to bring this into my adult life part two of this is you make a

like a wallpaper or something for your desktop and we're talking about being negatively motivated or away from negative things make a like a motivational wallpaper that has your big limiting belief on it and then take it to an extreme at a client that had this if I say small I'm going to be safe and he was in a business like he owned a business but he wouldn't go get these big clients and he wouldn't he wouldn't go to this and the guys got three kids and I said I want

you to make a desktop wallpaper this as my kids don't deserve for me to be successful I want you to look at every single day when you turn your computer on because that's exactly what you're belief is saying because if your kids truly deserve it would override the belief so you just need to write the belief and plain English and what it's truly truly costing you in

“your life is my kids don't deserve me to be successful my kids don't deserve money”

and that's what it comes down to and every day you look at it you have a feeling of disgust and there's a hyper awareness of that thing running in your head you're going to be more prone to hear it when it does come up and you're also training yourself to hear it as a child's voice which means you're going to start hearing fiction you're still hearing the same sentence but you're hearing a fictional story there's two parts to this I love this and there's two parts to it that I think

I wanted to talk about the first is in doing so in waking up in the morning and seeing my wallpaper that

says like my kids don't deserve a great life or whatever of course it's going to motivate me to take action which is then going to start to build new evidence once I take action once I win that big client and I realize that everything's fine which is going to change my life and then the second point I wanted to point out is like people listen to podcasts like this and they write this stuff

“down and then they have relapses and things don't change fast enough and I think that can sometimes”

make them feel hopeless or inadequate because they heard it on the diary of a seeer or whatever and then they did it for a bit and they struggled and it didn't quite work out and then they went back to the role behavior and I think in part this happens because we live under the presumption that this stuff is easy and it's fast and at some point in the future I can fix my trauma like I think one of the best realizations I have had was realizing that the bullshit that I've

carried with me in that backpack since I was a kid that the stuff about what will make me say for what will reward me or how I'll make friends or who I am or whatever my survival mechanisms they will be with me forever and actually instead of trying to delete them like throw them out the backpack what I was able to do is like turn down their ability to make the decision that's it that's it you've totally got it and and I would say this for anybody out there that you're trying

to go through this and you have in a hard time I get it it's totally tough the number one way that

we influence another human being let me just kind of metaphor this for one second when you watch a

hit hypnotist and hypnosis is funny anybody can learn to do it it's a it's a pretty easy thing so it looks very dramatic but one of the things you'll see me do at the beginning of that is like go ahead and give me your hand and I'll hold their hand for a second like put both hands out like this and then flip them over that's great now just just to test your eyes really quickly look all the way up and look all the way down I've all the way left the all the way right

right and spread your feet a little further apart a little closer together actually no face this way now I'll make them do like 50 things none of the things that I just did with them are meaningful none of them everything was micro compliance so this is how social media starts roping you in this is how politics starts roping you in this is how cult leaders will recruit you into a cult

so like you go through a doctor's physical and they go through like this 90 point checklist

“they've made you do 50 things then they recommend a weird drug or they recommend you get on”

some other drug take some time to think about it because our brain is hard wired for these micro compliances so I say this to say that if you're going through any of these things you're trying to change your beliefs you're trying to change something in your body use what works for brainwashing and figure out a way that you can get micro compliance with your own goals on a very regular basis small little wins so your brain has that just like hypnosis just like cult recruiting just like

brainwashing small little things that they're very beginning so everything in influence should be looked at as a wedge everything it reminds me of that our famous study they did where they got people to give electric shocks to other people via milgram obedience experiment yeah and they managed to get a member of the public to give another member of the public lethal electric shocks just through sort of micro compliance but also through authority because the experiment is what I'm wearing white

jackets whatever rules etc and here's the second thing in that experiment that's going to

going to perfectly tie back to this so this experiment that you're talking about happened at Yale University it was 1962 and we that mean there's tons of data on it but essentially strangers would shock another person seemingly or what they thought was to death just because some dude in the lab coat told them to but what they didn't account for and even Dr. Milgram's book was called obedience to authority they thought it was all about the authority the lab coat the

guy's tall it's a professional setting but really think about if you go back to our ancestors

“like the most important resource to your ancestors was was focus there's nothing more important than”

focus and the number one way to generate focus and you because if if I don't have your focus I

can't command authority right so focus is always first my focus authority tribe and emotion this

is the four things that govern a mammal all mammals dolphins doesn't matter so I have to have focus before authority and they didn't talk about that and the way to get focuses through novelty novelty meaning something unexpected is occurring so like if you walk past the same bush every day 10,000 years ago and your job is to carry fish from the river and suddenly you walk past that bush and you hear a big ass stick snap all of your focus all of it is on that stick not it's

not on your kids it's not on your health it's not on anything it's going on it's to this new unexpected piece of information that hijacks are brain anything novel hijacks are brain so if you see like and it follows that pathway focus then authority and then tribe what's everybody else doing and then emotion then how do I feel about it so it's and what happens is we are hard wired to respond to these things you cannot decide not to respond to novelty your head turns it to

loud sounds all this stuff happens so the way that if you're trying to do this like brain wash yourself is change your house up change something up in your life change your wardrobe repaint the walls in your office move your furniture around buy a new car if you if you can I want you to like just imagine is how would I influence my dog in this situation I would need imagery I would need something to shift if I move the kitchen table to the side

and move all the furniture when my dog comes out of the bedroom he's going to know something's

“different yeah I think this is one of the great secrets of good marketing is that it beats your”

brains wallpaper filter and I read a little bit about this in my last book about this idea of beating the wallpaper filter I think we talked a little bit about it last time but I talked about a study where they got a rat and put it in a maze with chocolate at the other end of the maze

and they looked at the rats brain as it went through the maze the first time and they saw that

the rat's brain was like exploded with activity it's smelling the walls it's trying to figure it out like and then they put the rat in the maze the second time and there's like almost no brain activity because it's on autopilot it knows the maze so it doesn't need to use any of its cognitive resources it's cognitive resources can be allocated to new surprising things the maze is no longer surprising what is this through the maze to the chocolate and even like as you think about how you

got out of your bed this morning and got down to the kitchen you didn't have to think so you paid no attention yeah but you would have paid attention if you walked down there and you're like so for wasn't that and how does that then apply to marketing so like how do you surprise people

or do marketing but I guess also to to persuade people so one of the things I think about a lot

“when I talk on stage yeah is I know I'm competing with your mobile phone your Twitter feed or your”

TikTok so I have to do something almost like every 10 seconds to like catch you off guard and Mr Beast I guess is the great master of this and it's probably why he's got half a billion YouTube followers because the minute that video starts oh yeah you hooked but this I mean that's the power of novelty I would challenge anybody to take this challenge if you're scrolling through short form content watch for something that like jerks your attention like some kind of weird novelty

thing that happens and that video is probably short 20 maybe 40 second video that that captures your focus through novelty the next video watch for an authority figure a famous youtuber a celebrity a politician a pop singer who thinks that they know politics all that kind of stuff watch for an authority figure next watch for a tribe signal so a tribe signal is going to be here's how many people agree with this here's lots of people doing one thing these tickets are selling out here's the

Taylor Swift concert here's everyone cheering at the concert here's how you're supposed to behave is basically what that means in the tribe section you're supposed to do what these people are doing and then watch for the emotion so watch for this pattern it'll be a focused generating novelty then it'll be authority then you'll see tribe then you'll see an emotional video and guess what happens after the emotional video well add much of the reason most people haven't posted content

or got their personal brand is because it's hard and it's time consuming and we're all very very

busy and if you've never posted something before there's so many factors in your psychology that

stop you wanting to post what people will think of you am I doing this right is the thing I'm saying absolutely stupid all of these resultant paralysis which means you don't post and your feed goes better I'm an investor in a company called StanStore which you've probably had been talking about and what they've been building is this new tool called Stanley that uses AI looks at your feed looks at your turn of voice looks at your history looks at your best performing

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the copy wasn't good the creative wasn't strong but usually the problem is they're not having

the right conversation because that add never reach the right person and if you're in beat to be marketing that is much of the game and this is where LinkedIn adds solves that problem for you they're targeting is ridiculously specific you can target by job title seniority company size industry and even someone skillset and then network includes over a billion professionals about 130 million of them are decision makers so when you use LinkedIn ads you're putting your

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LinkedIn dot com slash diary and when you spend 250 dollars on your first LinkedIn ads campaign you'll get an extra 250 dollar credit from me for the next one that's LinkedIn dot com slash diary times and conditions apply I had you say something as well that if you want to piss weight other people you should make them feel clever yeah explain this to me I refer to this as maybe the most dangerous persuasion skill there is and what I'm the 10 second brief is I basically

I'm going to put a Lego right here on the table in front of you and I'm going to put another Lego right here on the table in front of you and I'm just going to keep having the conversation to eventually your brain is going to be like oh I bet those things go together so the idea came from you so I'm going to give you one piece of information and another piece of information but

I will never put them together for you and the reason is that any idea that you think came from

your own mind you have no ability to resist it so all I have to do is make you have an idea so a regular example of this is let's say you're watching the news and they say local Austin woman has been reported missing neighbors said that earlier this day people saw her arguing with her boyfriend oh yeah details after the break so yeah and your brain is like oh

they give you a piece of data and a piece of data but they don't tell you to put it together

“the media do this all the time yes and if you can do this in a courtroom it you it will be”

the biggest unfair advantage you'll ever have in a legal standing because it'll win lots of trials the way that like if there's a formula on how to use this is here's a piece of information here and it's a piece of information that you will absolutely agree with that makes sense to you and another piece of information that makes sense to you it has to be two things that that makes sense to your brain because it's like you're not going to experiment with something

that you're not familiar with so two pieces of familiar information close enough together where the brain is going to say oh you know what I can do I'm going to put those two things together isn't this how conspiracy theories take hold as well oh yeah because I you know yeah you know there's a big there's a big enduring conspiracy theory that someone like Bill Gates has done things that are nefarious as it relates to health and they're like I guess the two pieces people are connecting

is they're saying well he's worked a lot he's very rich and powerful and he's very very interested in

health biotech and yeah in vaccines and what all these other things and you know someone very very very very very powerful we often think of you know very powerful successful influential people is being somewhat like evil or not having our interests at heart and then someone who's spending a lot of money on like health and medical side side of things is on it's quite an unusual thing so we put two and two together we have you know we think they have

bad intentions because they are a billionaire and that word is you know comes with a certain

“pre-conceptions and then health and then a pandemic happens and I think people you know”

I think a lot of conspiracies nice name a movie from when you're a kid where the bad guy or where the super rich person in the movie wasn't the evil yeah you know yeah I mean it's programmed into the media it's a definite programming that was very deliberate in our country it's like

always the rich people are evil but then people will say oh well Tony Stark was rich they made

a messosio path it's interesting because I think you know I can make the case that at some point it's intentional but at some point also it becomes such a clear stereotype that you have to follow that stereotype when you're like writing movies or if it doesn't make sense to people yeah and I'm not saying it was intentional within the last like 200 300 years I'm not we're talking about like the brothers grim ancient fairy tales and it what I think it was

intentional then like having wealth is bad there's virtue in poverty that's the big thing they wanted to communicate to their kids and it poverty is virtuous and of course like we're still

“doing a lot of that stuff today but the reason is exactly what you're saying is correct I think it's”

burned into like some collective archetype yeah of what stories have become and we wouldn't recognize it so like if I watched a movie and there was a very successful billionaire business man oh well I have to say is that beautiful in the gaps you're thinking private jet you're thinking how they treat people you're thinking you know they're on their phone with a briefcase you're thinking you know that they have what they're wearing you know what they're wearing and I didn't

say any of that stuff yeah then you made me feel clever because I put all that stuff together it came it came from my own mind and speaking of archetypes that's the second way that you can win any court case in the world have you got experience with court cases and stuff like that a lot what is your experience as far as I know I'm the only trial consultant that offers a 200% money back guarantee when I work so what does that mean as a trial consultant what's your objective

in simple times it's always a little different and it depends on whether I work for prosecution

or defense I know nothing about the law like just about nothing but I know people so I will typically go in and we'll pick a jury and we'll select a jury and we want to select a jury based on this factor and this factor and based on this zip code here's the question that we want to ask to find out which is going to be a good juror which is the badger but then I have to figure out questions that are covert how can I covertly ask a question where the opposing

council the other attorney won't know what I desire and what I don't desire based on the answer so one case I worked for was with a was for a large grocery store company who was being sued because a lady slipped on a green bean real shit and they hired me because it was it was a big big lawsuit and I want a jury that has an internal locus of control that they are in charge

that have the opposite we want to weed out the people that kind of victim mentality like the

“world happens to me that kind of thing so we have to figure out how do I ask a question that”

A reveals that is B covert and C is not going to expose what we're looking for to oppose in council so we'll come out with a question like how does a person catch a cold and then you get one person that answers well these stupid kids pick in their boogers or wipe in one the escalator they're coughing sneezing all over the place people aren't wearing masks they'll ask the next guy how does a person catch a cold they says well if I've ever caught a cold I was in place a place

I shouldn't have been I didn't wash my hands thoroughly enough I didn't take care of my body I

didn't take vitamins I didn't take care of myself very very different so we'll we know

what what is satisfactory for us to select a jury and that's just one tiny example but I'm going to pause you that because it's wanted to share something before we carry on with this

“break it's fascinating so actually the last question I ask on our culture test when we”

employ people for my company we we ask them 35 questions before they are offered the chance to interview and the last question is when I don't do great work who's to blame and I'll ask them it says the people I worked with I wasn't giving clear enough instructions from a client or a boss or myself and it's remarkable that 45% of the population will click it was me when I don't do great work it's not my team to blame it's not the person above or below me

or some other factor it is me and that's cause I shouldn't say this because it's going to ruin my test but I'm going to just say it that's caused the highest marks on that that particular question because again we're trying to reveal like if you have that sense of personal responsibility yeah and internal locus of control internal center of control in your life which correlates to

“better work more ambition hard work better long time success and better happiness more happiness sorry”

he's looking to you and you can tell they're driven to they're going to own their mistakes they're going to they're going to help other people be more accountable probably going to learn faster yes they're going to take responsibility absolutely so with an archetype in the jury room so we've selected let's say we've picked a jury then the goal is what is the what is the overall archetype of the case that's playing out in front of us right here it's a small person

soothing a big company let's say I'm on the opposite now let's say I'm on that lady side then I'm going to come out with without ever saying the name I'm going to come out and I'm going to make you think David and Goliath all day long without knowing that I made you think David and Goliath I might say giant I might say someone small I might say slingshot I might say all these little keywords that are probably in your head about the David and Goliath story just to plant that

narrative in your head and that might might be the first three hours of of the day and I've jammed

that in your head and you think it's your own idea this makes sense so far yeah so then the next time I'm going to talk about maybe it's a deposition or something like that we'll talk about waiting in line at the DMV we're going to talk about for people that don't know the context that because they're not in the US so waiting in line at the it's this government identification card office everyone around the world will have some form of fat when you're going to get passport whatever

yeah waiting at passport control your doctor's office keeping you waiting for 45 minutes and not caring about your time we're going to talk about all these situations where a big big company is screwing over another person or a big big government doesn't know what the hell they're doing they're incompetent so the attorney doesn't say any of this he's just mentioning the scenario so if I mention a scenario what if there's like a little file clerk in your head and if I mention

any scenario I can get that little guy to run down to the file cabinet and pull out a folder that has that stuff in there so when I say hot air balloon your your file clerk runs down there and like okay I was at a hot air balloon festival in New Mexico or something and pulls that file out so if I can get your file clerk to keep pulling files out throughout the day what the one thing the file clerk does and this is a gross generalization is anything that's pulled out throughout

that day and if it's in one context the file clerk leaves them all out on the desk and if I can get enough files all the files that I want out on that desk that's going to influence every decision that you make when you go home tonight so that's kind of the pre-swagion except I'm putting it in there in the form of an archetype and if I get you to think David and Goliath

think this is probably David and Goliath this is the middle part of the story this is when

“the little kid the shepherd kid is walking down the hill to challenge challenge the giant”

your brain comes up with the ending to the story automatically so these archetypes are so woven into us that we think if I could just complete an archetype story it's justice and what does archetype mean so an archetype is just like a brand of story okay so like a heroes journey like a beginning a mid-tragity a loss and return a rags to riches story a wounded healer story all these classic story types so there's like 12 story types Joseph Campbell's talk a lot about this

but if our brains has about 12 of these little archetypes and if it's like a wounded healer story and there's a redemption thing at the end which is called a redemption arc I'm going to get the audience to see that we're at the 75% mark right where it's about to happen and if I just get you to see a situation through the lens of an archetype your brain automatically not just predicts but you know how it's going to end and you want to make it in that way because it looks like justice it looks like

the right thing to do and you don't even know why your brain is trying to do that even though I'm the one that's jammed the archetype in your head for a couple of days so bringing this back to Debbie and Ohio yeah how much she use such a strategy in her own life to get the best out of the people she works with or those around her yeah so you can also use this as a profiling tool if I have and if you take notes on the stuff about people in your office I would keep them private but

figure out like this guys on a you don't even have to know and memorize all these 12 archetypes what movie are they in when they talk about their life what movie are they in they have the one guy in the office that wants to go in crazy adventures and do stuff that nobody else has done this is that's a back to the future archetype you can make up your own archetypes but if they're if they're doing all of this and everything's going good what's the next

thing they're going to predict they're going to have a problem coming up in their life so I know how they're going to predict their future if I just know what story they're in and you're best to Monta who's that CIA spy have I found on the share a few times told me about his rice framework in espionage reward ideology coercion in ego reward being the thing she want like money ideology being you know doing this is good for your family doing this is good for your country the

sea being coercion which is pressurizing people in the eating ego he said of all four of these ideology like understanding someone's ideology is the most persuasive for when he was a spy and the way that I've kind of conceptualized that maybe built upon it a little bit and I'm saying

“that because I don't want to be butchering his idea is I think everybody has a heroes journey”

that they're on right now and when you're meeting them to get them to you know maybe come

and work at your company or persuading them to do a deal like the first great challenge is listening

to them long enough for them to hand over their ideology to you so that you can speak to them not through your own ideology and what you want but you can talk through their ideology and like even with me obviously there's like a heroes journey in my mind there's like a story of us that like is behind me but also I want to be ahead of me and if you know if you can listen long enough to figure out what that is you can tell me okay Steve I'm going to say this range over and tell

me the features of it or the benefits of it through yes the heroes journey that I want to live out yeah everyone listening right now has that like you have a hero's journey that you're on

“and the most persuasive thing I think anyone could do is not just give you money or whatever”

is to let them know that the thing you're offering is going to realize that story or at least the

next chapter okay so not we don't always want to sell a completion we just want to say this is the

logical next step of this story like this guy did a bad thing he needs to be punished and what happens after the punishment this is the learning the lesson and being redeemed arc so we're not we're not we're not going to tell a jury or suggest to a jury that he's going to go learn a lesson and then come back we're just going to suggest like what's this next thing that happens so somebody has this arc if we figure out what what is my journey what is what archetype in my

living right now what type of story then I can figure out how my brain is predicting the future because archetypes are so woven into our brains without language so the language is not necessary for the archetype to exist so it's if you know someone else's archetype you can understand how they're

of them you're going to hear it it's so funny like there's you don't even need special questions

“you ask them about their life asking where they're from ask them to give me like this summary of”

like what happened when you worked there at that company well I did this and this and this and nobody thanked me it was a thankless job the manager was a total asshole so now you're starting to see an archetype like the guy was in a tragedy there the guy was a victim and they want to be appreciated yes so now he's here this brand new company for redemption so now we're in a redemption story art that makes sense so it just comes out naturally and everybody's speech

but the funny thing is I've never seen it applied to court rooms in the way in the way that we do

it and it's just such a powerful tool the number one thing that I specialize in is this thing called the time distance problem this is what I wanted to solve throughout my entire career so we have

“two axes are vertical axes and horizontal axes so this horizontal axes is the distance line”

and the vertical axes going up and down is the time line okay so we have time and we have distance so distance is how far away from a behavioral norm can I get a person to go so can I get Steven to confess to a crime like doing something that's going to send you to jail for 30 years is way outside of your behavioral norm and for me to be able to do that in an interrogation room

I have to do some techniques I have to do some crazy stuff if I do it in sales then I'm getting

you to make a decision that you maybe otherwise wouldn't have maybe if I'm in time share sales or something like that and at the end of the day some people can get people far on the distance line but it's going to take forever to do it it's going to take maybe a year to make something happen of persuading them and trying to sell to them etc yeah and the last interrogations I did that were for a corporation in California I had to do 45 interrogations in like two days and I had maybe

25 minutes for interrogations the least amount of time I've ever been given and that was the time distance problem so how do I layer on the techniques the identity the perception context and

permission how do I get that layered into a conversation as fast as possible so I can shift someone's

behavior as fast as possible so everything that you're looking at is typically a time distance problem and there's one more universal thing and this may not even fit anywhere in the episode because it's random but you're talking early about like carrying this trauma and your backpack so many people are trying to get rid of this trauma the reason that psychedelics can rewire PTSD so effing fast is that it doesn't delete your trauma at all the memories still there the whole all that stuff is

still there it changes the perspective so massively that you can still see the event but it forces you to see all of that stuff through a different lens so if you look at somebody that has some depression stuff going on some weird mental stuff going on in their life so much of of what ales us even someone who's lacking confidence and they say I can't be a leader I can't go to this media can't just negotiation it's a perspective problem it's like 90% of the problems that that

people have that I work with is just a perspective issue and nothing else and occasionally if somebody's been going through a lot for a long time I would get your neurotransmitters tested and get your brain tested and see if you've got some chemical imbalance it's causing a lot of stuff just sometimes a vitamin deficiency cause a lot of that do any of you remember a conversation I had on this podcast with anthropologist Dr. Daniel Lieberman it was one of the most viewed

conversations at all time on the diversity and interestingly the most replayed moment of that entire conversation was when I talked about a specific pair of shoes that I wear they're called barefoot shoes and they're made by a brand called vivo barefoot who have become one of the sponsors of this show now all of their shoes have significantly reduced support which gives my feet the opportunity to strengthen just by wearing them and research from Liverpool University

backs this up they've shown that wearing vivo barefoot shoes for six months can increase foot strength

“by up to 60%. So if you want to start strengthening your feet which have a foundation for the”

rest of your body had to vivo barefoot.com/doac and if you do that I'll give you 15% off when you use my code Steven B15 use that code at checkout and I'll also give you a 100 day money back guarantee Steven B15.

with the 1% diary for those of you that don't know every single time a guest sits here with me in the chair they leave a question in the diary of a CEO and then I ask that question to the next guest

we don't release those questions in any environment other than on these incredible conversation cards

these have become a fantastic tool for people in relationships people in teams in big corporations and also family members to connect with each other with that we also have the 1% diary which is this incredible tool to change habits in your life so many of you have asked if it was possible to buy both at the same time especially people in big companies so what we've done is we've

“bundled them together and you can buy both at the same time and if you want to drive connection”

and then still have it change in your company head to the diary.com to inquire and our team will be in touch outside of psychedelics is there any useful ways you found to change ones perception

there's they have all kinds of like sleep deprivation sensory deprivation tanks

a darkness retreats all those things that people talk about with breath work and they go on these big ass retreats I don't know anything about those things do study psychedelics a lot and I think Johns Hopkins this year I think said that it was the most effective drug ever tested in human history for depression treatment resistant depression rule for psychological problems the treatment resistant depression PTSD addiction and now we have this new drug

called ibagane it's not new it's been around for thousands of years but that's helping people with addiction and there is now people able to do intravenous DMT for like five hours at a time instead of five minutes at a time and I was the 41st person in the world to do the intravenous DMT what did you do? I did it because it DMT has a massive boost of BDNF which is brain-to-radnutrophic factor and it also produces a lot of plasticity a lot of brain plasticity so I was trying to fix my brain

I've got a brain disease so I went down there on this five hour thing and I've been completely different ever since that day so it is a massive benefit and it's heavy though DMT is a heavy heavy thing to go through I don't see I can't see any reason why any human being would use it recreationally for anyone that has an experience DMT how would you describe the experience I know that's going to be hard to do because of some of my friends have done it and

when you ask them to describe it it seems to be quite abstract yeah it's like if you if we had some two-dimensional creatures that were living on this piece of paper right here on a table and one of those creatures figured out that he can smoke some DMT and that somehow enabled us to peel this two-dimensional creature to where it could see in three dimensions and see everything in this room that's a DMT you're getting peeled out of reality into some

other realm and the weird thing is every scientist that I know studying DMT

“not one of them thinks it's a hallucination what do they think it is I think the more someone”

the more familiar someone is with DMT the less certain they are about what the hell's going on but everyone everyone literally everyone who uses DMT pretty much goes to the same exact places and they all meet the same entities the same seven or eight different types of entities and it's been the same for 4,500 years of recorded history with DMT and DMT is something we make in our own body it's an endogenous chemical has it changed your perception of what reality really is 100 percent

yeah it's so much more real than this reality it's like it's it's so ineffable there are no words that can describe it but it's a thousand maybe a million times more real than this in such a way that just coming back to this feels like everything is kind of claymation for a little while claymation or just fake like a cartoon of some kind it's just really low resolution

“and I come back with no certainty about anything and I think everybody comes back with that lack of”

certainty you're not coming back and be like I saw this exact thing and here's what it means and

here's how the universe is created and all of that but you go up there and you come back and you're like something about this plane doesn't feel real anymore and that is a permanent shift that's hard for some people to make and you can't unsee that you were kind of able to poke your head out of the out of the side door of the Truman Show and and look out backstage for a little while so hasn't made you believe that this isn't real this reality that we're living in now is not real

I think you can touch it you can measure it you can taste it smell it would that be real

she think we're living in a simulation

“then we have to define simulation was I think every society has this hubris of the universe is”

whatever's cool to us right now electricity came out the universe was the energy industrial revolution came out the whole universe was the giant machine and right now everybody says oh that we and we just and discovered computers the universe must be a computer it's like that the hubris of of every generation what I mean by simulation I I think like is it rendered in some way by something I study the stuff all day every day of my life and I think that the more we the more

discoveries we have and particle physics and quantum mechanics the more they're proving their hermetic principles right what's that this is the seven ancient principles of this guy named Hermes Trism and Justice also known as the thoth like an Egyptian guy they're confused

“about his name but he's like he wrote these like these first two principles are the most important”

the first one is all his mind all his mind the universe is mental and then the second one is as above

so below and here's how I explain this to my son a couple days ago I said have you ever had a dream where there's like a building in the dream maybe there's a house in front of you and what are you looking at the house with and he's at well my eyes said why which eyes are they are they your eyes that you're seeing the house with and he said no because you're imagining your own set of eyes to see the house with in your dream your eyes don't aren't there your body isn't there so you're

imagining the whole body and the world and I said what's the distance between you and that house

in your dream they said 30 feet I said what is the air made out of between you and the house

and he said air and I said you have air in your dreams is it real air he said no it's just it's my brain and I said so is there distance between you and the house he said no what's the house made out of me what's the air made out of me the entire thing is me the ground I'm standing on the house the the clouds in the sky so in a dream you can verifiably prove that something is real you can test it you can touch it and all that and the perception of it is is very much real so the theory now

and I don't I don't have any certainty about this but one interesting theory that I've heard from many different neuroscientists is that if we look at as above so below like a universe spends like a DNA double helix you can zoom in on a human eyeball and it looks the same as a nebula what if dreams are this level level one and this is like the level two of that where we're hallucinating distance we're hallucinating and I think whatever their case is I have no idea I have no theories

about it myself but whatever the case is I do think that separation is the greatest lie ever told to the entire world of like the you are separate from that person like this you are separate from this and how people say I need to go spend time in nature like you are nature like that's that's part of who you are you're made out of that stuff you're made out of that dirt so I think the illusion of

“separation is is the one thing that I think will help a lot of people and that's why psychedelics”

can really just rewire somebody's brain so so fast it just deletes that separation feel like I just had some DMT because you said you know level one is dreams level two is maybe this reality so the question in my mind was what's level three yeah and then that would maybe be what you see on DMT do you said that world was more real than this one oh yeah exponentially immeasurably why how how do you quantify realness like what's the measuring stick that there there are no

words for it has this changed your view on religion yeah how is the change of you I wasn't really a religious person I think it made me a much more spiritual person and I think before any psychedelic therapy that I went through I was I was performing spirituality so spirituality was kind of something I I did to show people yeah about your budget to single vouchers yeah and now spirituality you kind of see it like it's not a big deal it doesn't you don't have to go by

just maybe have a hand up there and be less certain I think the certainty is that is the enemy like we haven't been here very long we're very very new born creatures on this planet has it made you more empathetic unbelievably so yeah as the end of the day it

everybody wants to like after your first or second time going to psychedelic therapy you're like

oh I need to understand the secrets of the universe now which you go in there with this like very egoic ego centric desires and then they're like okay you want to understand the universe they'll show it all to you and your brain's not capable of understanding it remembering it

“or translating it once you once you come back anyway and I think over time you learn that”

the more ego I have it's like I'm performing and then every time I go back in there or every time like I kind of reflect on that experience it helps me to unzip this my little ego costume a little bit more did you know that you can get banned from DMT really dude you gotta look this up there are thousands of people out there who are using DMT recreationally and the beings up there

basically told them you are done and you're you're banned from from DMT and the journey stops

right there in that moment and the guy can take hit after hit after hit after hit after hit of DMT and nothing happens you can be banned from that realm or whatever it is I think they call it hyperspace now in the culture culture surrounding DMT there is a widely reported anecdote phenomenon called being locked out of hyperspace many frequent users report reaching a point

“whether drugs simply stops working as expected regardless of the dose the common descriptions include”

the waiting room wall getting stuck in the initial onset phase and being unable to break through the grey room seeing only flat colorless or dull visuals instead of the visual vibrant geometry the hyperslap a terrifying or deeply uncomfortable experience where entities appear to tell you that you are welcome or shouldn't be here anymore the sudden blackout smoking the substance and simply falling asleep or remembering nothing effectively being denied entry hmm

and it is a thousands of people one if the very very random but persuasive thought experiments I sometimes use to explain why I've started to believe that there's probably something more is weirdly how much I've learned about the Gunmer Corbio and it sounds like a strange thing and not a connection one would expect to make but when I sat here with these experts and they're like oh by the way there's 38 trillion living organisms in your gut right now I you know you're saying like

“what is below is above one of that phrase was I think okay so those 38 million creatures I know”

that you could argue that maybe they're not conscious of whatever you want to say yeah but they have no idea like if they work they have no idea that they're living inside another organism down if they could debate they would be debating religion they'd be saying do you think we have a creator and they'd look around and they wouldn't see him but because they don't realize that they're inside I guess their god like their creator the thing that's feeding them every day and

keeping them alive and yeah that kind of you could argue created them because I create the environment for them to reproduce and when I think about that I thought about the oceans I was like the you know the animals at the very bottom of the deepest ocean have no idea that there's anything above they have no idea and then I and then you gotta ask yourself am I like arrogant enough to believe or not even enough to believe that like this is it that I am at the top of the map and there's nothing

it's so egotistical to think like there isn't there could be nothing above me and then the other thing that's been really persuasive for me in my journey of like spirituality or religion or whatever you know call it is I did a bunch of start-a-tours and generally getting interested in the stars and sitting there with a star expert and him saying to me at night time in Joshua Tree look over there and you'd like get this big binocular out this one meter binocular and you see what

you're seeing there is he'd say something crazy like 28 million light years away and I'm looking

at a whole other galaxy and it's just this spec and it's 28 million light years away scratching my head like what that that is inconceivably far away and it's just this dot and he goes yeah there's like trillions of those and I'm thinking oh like the book got microbiome there's like 38 trillion of those yeah and they're just specks with life on them that we understand at some granular level but maybe not the deepest granular level so maybe I'm just another gut in the bug

of some toddler in some other space and I just don't know the answer what you do with that

what does that mean like our brains act as a receiver and a filter for consciousness

“and it's not a creator of consciousness so that hypothetically maybe DMT is something that”

just pops that filter off and allows us to experience full consciousness and then if the all is mine so if everything in my dream is made up of me and we just copy paste that up to this level we're all maybe part of one mind and there aren't any people it's just a mind so like the distance between us doesn't exist it's just just like a dream except we're sharing a dream up here and that's one of the I think that's a part of that that new consciousness theory

I don't subscribe to any of them any one of them in particular you haven't got to believe any

of this stuff um because it's hard to you're never going to know for sure but even hearing it

makes me feel a lot more empathetic my fellow being yeah because it makes me you it makes you enemy you it makes your friend you makes the person you love hate whatever it makes all of them you and none of us would I think I think we treat ourselves much better sometimes than we treat someone a thousand miles away in a different country with a different color skin yeah um so

“that's what I love about this conversation and actually every time I bring myself back to this”

point about consciousness being one it does make me more empathetic to things it does and it's not because you're a moral person like you don't have to have morals anymore so if I see you as me I'm just protecting myself yeah like it's just a natural in the same way I would with my children yeah oh yeah yeah and then we the morality doesn't need to exist anymore it's just the right thing

Chase what is the most important idea we didn't talk about that we should have talked about specifically

as it relates to the most important skills people are going to need whether it's body language or people skills or sales skills in the world we're heading towards where they're depositing that robots are going to take away lots of the manual labor jobs and artificial intelligence is going to take away a lot of the like cognitive work and we might be rendered left with each other in the real world yeah number one is making people feel heard and seen and resonating with them when

they're heard and not judging them when they're seen that's the number one because AI you can mark

my words AI will never in a million years serve as a replacement for humans on the social level

of Maslow's hierarchy of needs where we have survival safety belonging that that third row of Maslow's pyramid cannot be fulfilled through electronic needs as of yet anyway and maybe they're going to start making sex robots and all that kind of stuff when these these things come out but we cannot fulfill that desire we cannot fulfill that need so what's above that then we have a steam our self-esteem and our our self-actualization we can never move past level three because we're

getting a placebo of connection from Twitter and TikTok and all these apps and these pseudo social apps YouTube we have these parasocial relationships on YouTube and it's it cannot fulfill that level our brains were not wired to receive digital connection we are brains have not developed one more wrinkle in the last 200 thousand years exactly the same brain so we're not going to out science the lower part of the brain and you can't like meditate your way out of having good relationships and

being around 3D people you you need it in your life and I generally think AI is never going to

“replace it I would agree I would agree I think one of the things that's been really persuasive”

in this regard is I remember in psychology lessons when I was like maybe 16 years old Mrs. Lownie I've always missed Miss Lownie Miss Lownie if you're listening please get in touch my conscience and my email but just get in touch through garreth you know something but I just wanted to say that because she she was a great teacher for me in psychology I really only like two lessons in school business in psychology so Mr Hughes and Mrs Lownie Lownie's lessons the others I found

a bit tricky but I thought those two teachers saw something in me Miss Lownie was talking about the recess monkeys experiment where they got these like recess monkeys to either they gave them a fake mother but had they had cloth on it or they gave them a wire mother so a mother made

this so please community note me diarivocere team so that the facts are on the screen and what they found is if you want the monkeys that grew to be most psychologically stable and happy and weren't psychopaths were the ones that had a cloth mother and the monkeys that became erratic and clearly had deep psychological problems with the ones that just had a wire mother so that's

always reminded me that even in a world of robots AI would ever there's still something it

replaceably human about physical human connection and touch yeah which I actually think is going to become is going to absolutely surge in a world where we do have robots and intelligence and retentive algorithms I think there's going to be this byification of society where many people flee back to the real world yeah and the two biggest things that we have as a result of all this is loneliness and division and the division is manufactured then the loneliness is a buy product

is there anything else you want to share yeah it might be some good news that was a big study every shooting or stop on that note give me some goodness I think one of the the number one

thing that people need to know is that if you wrote down the biggest insecurities that you've

ever had in your entire life every crazy crazy thing about how you thought it was a big deal

“you have to forget forgive yourself for that shit you did when you were 12 you have to stop doing”

this you have to stop hiding yourself from other people if you just wrote down every one of your insecurities with a hundred people and then had someone type all of them out all hundred people you wouldn't be able to find your own you'd be very confused you'd think that someone just paraphrased you a hundred times if you're digging through that hat trying to find your insecurities and it would shock you and it's one thing to hear it maybe on a podcast but to see it in real life

if you see the depth of other people we are so much the same and all the shit that we hide

because we don't want anybody else to see it everyone else is hiding the exact same stuff everybody else is feeling the exact same way the number one thing that people regret on their deathbed is like I should have treated it more like a game I should have figured out what was important in the game and done what was actually important and that's it that means a lot to you doesn't it that particular point I've it's almost like you've changed it's a lot of time we spoke

“in a way yeah I think there's been a bit of an evolution yeah and I think that level of empathy”

is super important to life and it helps slow things down and no matter what you're going through we put put make a postroom put this up on your wall it's supposed to be fun it's supposed to be a game and I think Alan Watts had a quote that said most of man's memory comes from taking very seriously what God made for fun it's hard not to take it seriously though when it seems to threaten some of our prehistoric design and if we go back to the triangle where you've got friends

and rewards and you've got safety if it threatens any of these things then it doesn't feel so fun right depending on your perspective and that's where the big perspective shift comes in of like I gotta remind myself this is supposed to be fun chase we have a closing traditional this podcast where the last guest leaves a question for the next not knowing who they're leaving it for and the question left for you so if you've rehearsed that yeah I've said it quite a few times now probably five hundred times

if you were going to take on a new challenge this year to expand the territory of your skill set in a way that would make you happy what would it be

“I think developing the ability to shut the fuck up and celebrate when there's a win”

we should have like a giant record month in our company massive record month and I was like okay okay and then I just I joined another meeting and it fell by the wayside and I think I'm gonna regret doing that and I think celebrating wins is a skill that I need to cultivate better Mogorda from episode 101 was the most shared episode of any podcast in 2023 on Apple in the UK couldn't Apple and one of the things he said in that conversation he's head of Google X who left

when it's done died in a routine operation and he went into such a happiness so at Google he was leading the innovation teams all like the AI stuff robots and all that stuff and I remember

years and his whole life when he sat in the chair he was like backpacking at this one shirt it comes to my studio in shortage in London this this old kitchen this is used to be my kitchen

and he said a line to me which is always stayed with me he said happiness is when your expectations

of how your life are supposed to be going on that and so from that I can deduce the opposite to be true which is unhappiness is when your expectations of how you thought your life was supposed to be going go on that and in there I've always come back to this because like almost all of my unhappiness is when I had an expectation of how my life was supposed to be going well something was supposed to be going your relationship getting cut off in traffic whatever it might be

yeah podcasts whatever and when it when you're full short of one's expectation that gap is like is dissatisfaction and frustration and whatever else and so can one play with this by being grateful

“because I think great gratitude is a proxy of realizing that expectations you once had”

are now being men succeeded but the problem is as striving creatures we keep

a Delta between where we are and where we expect to be so like when you talked about celebrating you're in there I think the problem is you're already thinking about the next ones you've already created Delta yeah and that's gonna keep you on how it was like you know Eastern traditions are all about gratitude which in that moment is going fuck chase we did it yeah this was a dream yeah and you did it and like are you able to sit in that the problem I've also discovered with this

speel is I expected it to be automatic I expected the gratitude and the excitement and the joy to be automatic yeah so when it didn't automatically show up when I became a millionaire or the podcast did well I thought maybe it will show up on the next one yeah instead of like taking a moment and forcing it out of me like reminding myself that this was it chase yeah this was the dream

“and that's the perspective yeah you're camera angles like mine I'll speak for myself it's just”

so zoomed in on on this exact moment on what's going on in the business this meeting that's coming up in a few minutes it's just like dragging that camera by the throat and pulling it up to like when you zoom out on Google Maps and be like this is a big deal like you have time to pause nothing you think is a big deal is a huge deal you can pause you can cancel that meeting and really celebrate it's so true and it maybe like when I became a millionaire I thought it was like

it's going to fix my posture it's going to make my skin look better it didn't do anything it didn't do shit and the crazy part about that is you hear often hear of what they call gold metal depression which again is a prime example of like you you had an expectation of that moment you thought confetti and a marching band and it would be on the front page of the newspaper whatever and

the reality is it didn't do shit so now you got a problem now you're now a lot of people they

get upset they come back from the Olympics with a gold medal and they're depressed because they climb to the top of the mountain they didn't change anything now that's a problem yeah so I actively practice especially ahead of an accomplishment or actively practice forced gratitude which is like really taking a moment and zooming out as you say and then the other is like before I just got my house in LA which is an incredible fucking house and like blows like

from where I come from it's you know kid born in Botswana moves to the UK it's before I walked into the house I literally out loud reminded myself that this was not going to change anything in my life it wasn't going to make me an inchapier in any way it was going to have no material impact on anything no one's opinion of me is going to change nothing it's going to do nothing for me and when I walked into that house for the first time I could actually really enjoy it

because my expectations were so low that's beautiful so it was very easy to exceed my expectations because I had none you know and I actually enjoy it every day when I walked downstairs because it's like blowing my mind yeah you know there's awesome but you still get the celebrate that you got the house yeah without it meaning something about you yeah that's I think that's the difference yeah yeah you're right like you can feel good about a good YouTube comment without it

sit without you going yeah yeah Steven is a good guy you know like for you're not writing

“identity statements about identity that's the key that's what I was clearly doing there is I'm saying”

this is not going to impact my identity anyway don't fucking think it's going to go to yeah but it still means that when I wake up the morning and see a view I go wow that's so wow yeah you know so true so true I fully resonate with that chase where do people go to get more of you what was the best place best place is nci dot university and which is the i dot university i link that below for anyone that's looking for the link and my YouTube channel is just my net

too icon you'll see the diversity icon and chase as icon if you're watching on YouTube just click

“chase as icon and you'll go over to his YouTube channel chase thank you so much thanks Steven”

I'm Teresa and my experience at all entrepreneurs started a choppy fight at full price

through I'm sure the choppy fight is already on the first day and the platform makes me no problem

“I have a lot of problems but the platform is no one from me I have the feeling that choppy fight”

makes your platform continue to continue everything is super simple, integrative and phalanque

and it's time and the money that I can't wait to invest in there for everything in the box