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with me 24/7 at Dr. Laura.com. So I got a quickie and normally I like to start the hour, I have three hours here with you. Normally I start the hour with some topic. I had something prepared and I'm not doing it. Why am I not doing it? Because I found something better. Somebody sent a quickie and a quickie is a question where you don't have to come on the air specifically and I'll answer it but it has to be brief and sometimes
I use these for opens. This isn't open. To send a quickie by the way it's quickie at Dr. Laura.com. Hi. Discovered you about a month ago. I've listened to you every night since. I'm 40 years old. Married for 10 years. Together, 20 years. No kids. What is your
advice for making the most of the second half of my life? Never got a question like that
before in 50 years that I've been doing this. How interesting is that? What is your advice for making the most out of the second half of my life? I guess that means she's only counting, she's an elliptal lady. So I thought about an answer. So not only do I have an answer but I want you to call in and tell me what you know you have to do. Say do change. To make the rest of your life, however old you are,
it might be half way. It might be only a quarter of a way left. However amount it is. Why don't you think about before I answer this question? What do you know? If you're honest with yourself, what different decisions do you have to make? What different actions do you need to take? To make the next part of your life better. Doesn't mean up to now has been horrible, but how can you make it better? What do you
“know you have to change in your attitude, your thoughts, your behaviours, your choices?”
To make the next part of your life better. I'd like you to think about that. That's not a topic for today. I mean you can call in about anything, but it occurred to me that this is a really good question that everybody should be asking themselves. The answer to this is you had 40 years. You probably only remember about 35 of them, but 40 years. What have you learned that teaches you what to do better in the next half? That's what I would say to
this person. What do you be learned in the past 35, first five years? I don't think you
“remember much. What have you learned that you need to use to improve the next 40 years?”
That's different than saying, "Well, I should become an airline pilot." I don't mean decisions like that, but you've made all kinds of decisions. You've said all sorts of things to
people. You've behaved in a variety of ways. You've made incredible mistakes and incredible
Non-mistakes.
question to ask yourself.
“Diane, welcome to the program. What's on your mind?”
Thank you. Good day. Good day.
Are you today? Excellent. You were asking about how to be the best person in your second
half of life. I speak from experience. I had a bilateral, cerebellar stroke, the fifth of December. It is now March 2nd. I am on the green side of the grass for which I think everybody every day and for my husband who is stood by my side and picked up the pieces that I left. I had to retire from my job, but I am still on the green side of the grass and for that. I think everybody every day.
So, it's an attitude thing. You've decided with all of this stress that it's still the green side because of people's love for you. I love that. I love that. Wow. I admire people like her. Shelley, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura, good afternoon. And I too was calling it in response to your question about the second.
“So, what did you learn in the first part of your life that you're going to use in the future?”
I think in the first part of my life, I truly believe that life that we live it forward, but we understand it much better. I reflect on the last 50 years of my life. I just turned 50 in November, is that I lived a lot of my life in fear and in either
living in the future, which I was never ever right about predicting the future and it was always
a negative prediction that I would have about something in the future. And I have my husband and I, we have five children and I believe they have taught me a lot over the years as well. And so, you know, God willing, my hope is to live until I'm a hundred. So, your question is right on point for me that I'm right at the second half of my life. If I, if I get that wish to come true to live to a hundred and I would say, you know,
I find my youngest child, she just got accepted to virgin your child. Well, you sort of, you were on target there and you went sort of an off target.
What have you learned in the first part of your life about being anxious about what might
“be in the future? It's said to how are you going to change that to face the next half?”
Yeah, so, so my, my mini-d tour was to say that many people are asking me now as our fifth and final child is about to leave for college. This empty nest syndrome and, you know, what are you going to do? And, and almost like this sort of negative melody approach. And I find Dr. Laura, I like to look at it more that my husband and I were free birds now. We don't have the responsibilities and the time commitment necessary, and so we can try different
things in life and that it's really about perspective and that it's about am I going to look at this as glass half empty or glass half full? Am I going to look at it as empty nest, which can kind of sound a little bad, if you will, or that we're free birds and that this is a new and exciting chapter of our life. And I find that no matter what the scenario is in life, that I can look at things and my attitude about those things is really truly what's important,
not necessarily the thing that is before me itself, because I do believe it. If I'm brought to something, I'll be brought through it as well, through faith, through lives. Well, that is a huge jump in maturity, good for you. Thank you, and a lot of that I've do the listening to you and applying those little nuggets in my day to day living. So I appreciate you a lot. Well, thank you.
Well, thank you. Thank you. I happily take a little bit of credit. Mark, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Orc, pleasure talking to you today. Thank you, Mark. I'm calling in response to your opening question about changes you've made or are going
To make in the second half of your life.
half better. And I am ironic because I'm actually directly in the middle of doing, making
“a dramatic change that has had kind of ripple effects on all aspects of my life, and it”
started when I realized what a great argueer I was. I can argue anybody any time about anything in the wind. I should have been a lawyer. I'm not. I'm in construction. I was just thinking of that year or politician. Oh, a politician. I'm so good at it. And I can beat my wife in any fight we have. And I've done it all years. And I have, I have beat her down to the point where she's afraid to talk to me, afraid to bring a slightest
little incident. And I had a realization of this at a pretty significant back surgery six months ago, a very kind of existentialist major surgery. And prior to the surgery my
“life had a real serious conversation with me. And I don't, I think it was because I was”
a so much pain and looking kind of at potentially a life-altering situation. I just, all of a sudden, realized that my wife's not my adversary. She's not my enemy. And I need to start listening to her when we're having fun. And I made that slight change just listening to her. Even way to second. Way to second. Even better. Look at her as though you are her defense attorney in other words. You fight her side. Yeah, you use life skills to benefit
her. Yes. Oh, man. Right there. Very powerful. Very, very powerful. You're not really changing,
you're re-adapting. That has the power, the slight change I made. This even has the power to take it to another level. And the change I've done has made the ripple effects in almost every facet of my life. Certainly, my relationship with her. But even deeper, I've become a much, I've become a better grandfather, a better father. And I, I, I, one of the immediate effects was I was able, we would have a fight. And I, you know, I just go till I win.
They could do hours. And they're over in three minutes now. They're over, you know, they don't even start and they're done. And all I've done is say, you know, what you're right. I, I see what you mean. And boy, I shouldn't have said that work to you or treated you
“that way. That's it. You become our defense attorney. I think you have finally decided”
in 61 years that it's more important for you to be loved than right. But that's a serious realization. And it has resulted in that. The hugs, she still cries. But she's crying because she's happy. And I, I just, I see it over and over. Arguments end. She gives me a hug. What a
powerful thing to take yourself to be loved with the equation. More than right. Glad you
finally discovered that. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. You can reach me at 1-800-375-2872 taking the top of the hour break. And then I'll be back with your calls. Let go do the right thing. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred
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