Priscilla Shirer: The Secret to Saying No!

and then somehow it's right for everything in between. Let me just say what I just described. I just described cozyer.

Cozy earth jogger sets, by the way, are made from this viscose thing from bamboo. It's lightweight, breathable, and the kind of soft. It actually gets better the more you wear it. It's a tapered fit with a relaxed waistband, just enough structure to feel intentional. You can drink morning coffee with it, run after noon errands, and even have a evening wind down. It's kind of a multi-dimensional, multi-faceted inexpensive, Humphee clothing wear. This isn't fast-fashion for the house. It's something you'll be reaching for for years from now.

Try it yourself. Pozy earth backs everything with a hundred-night trial, because they're confident you'll feel the difference. And if you don't return it, it's that simple. This spring give yourself the kind of comfort that lives with you all day. Head to cozyer.com and use my code, my lat. For an exclusive 20% off, and if you see a post-purchase survey, mention you heard about cozy earth right here on the Ed My Let Show. Cozy earth comfort lives here. This is the Ed My Let Show.

All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So I got to tell you, there's a buzz around the arena that we're doing this in right now that this lady's on our show. I'm speaking in an event that she's also speaking at today, and they've informed me that she is by far the biggest draw of all the speakers.

Like 85 times the draw that I am. And there's a reason for it. She's also the most incredible speaker you ever see ever in your life.

She's incredible. I've watched her. She's just she's unreal, but she's not just a speaker. She's an author. She's a mother. She's got going beyond ministries. She's you probably know from the war room. She's she's just super famous. What is happening right now? It's awesome. And she's uh, she's one of the people that's been on my list for years to get a chance to interview. And I've met her recently, and she's so nice and person and so humble. You know when you have somebody that you all admire like you do this woman,

“she's even better in person. And I think you're going to enjoy the time of the day.”

Priscilla Shire, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. I appreciate you so much. True. Wait to this crowd here. Okay. Let's start in the very beginning. Okay. What's it like to be you? And I'm in it from this way. Let me tell you the way that I mean it. You're busy. And so people listening this may not relate to being in movies or writing books or having ministry work or all that stuff. But they do relate to being busy. So you're a mother. Your wife. You've got all these different business ventures that you do.

Yet you show up with really present energy every time that I've met you and I'm with you including today. I'm wondering how you do that. If you have any strategies you use or anything like that, you share with busy people. Well, who's not busy? You know what I mean? We kind of live in a culture that creates a vortex of busyness that if you're not intentional, it will consume you. So it's something I'm not perfect at for sure. It's kind of like we're growing and having and flowing and maturing in this our whole lives.

“But man, I've had to learn how to just say good solid nose. And I mean, honestly,”

there are more nose than yeses. But the nose every no creates an opportunity for a yes. I realize a long time ago that if I say yes to something out of guilt because maybe they've asked four times before and I haven't been able to do it or yes out of fear of missing out, it's an opportunity. Every time I said yes for those reasons, I regretted it because I'd get to that day and my kid has a soccer game. I get to that day and goodness gracious, I could have taken a vacation

that week with my husband, but now there's something planted in the middle of the week that I didn't say yes to for peer reasons. So that happens enough to you and you have that feeling of remorse that you didn't say an honest genuine yes, then it starts to not be worth it anymore. Yeah. So I appear far more busy than I am. I appear far more busy than I am because from the outside looking and it looks like I'm everywhere doing everything and I'm really not.

Wow. I'm home most of the month if I'm gone twice a month because I've said yes to those two things then that's going to be 24 to 48 hour periods that I'm away other than that. I'm at home. Really good. I wish I'd have asked you that about 14 years ago. Me too. Because I'm just I'm not good at that.

“You know why? I want to ask you this. I think this is why people say yes. Well,”

there's a lot of reasons. One is people pleasing or whatever course. But also the fear of losing momentum. Of course. You ever have that fear? I mean, I wasn't joking to be. I was being serious. I said it light-hearted. Yeah. Yeah. You've built this massive following in notoriety and frankly influence. And I wonder if you worry ever. That I've asked other people in the show. I had Sebastian Maniscalco, the comedian. I said, "Do you worry you're going to lose it?"

And because he said, "I have a hard time saying no." And he said, "Yes. I do." And I've asked a lot of people that. And they say they worry that I wonder that that doesn't impact you.

I will say that it occurs to me that there's always the possibility there that if you're not saying all the

yeses and you're not doing all the things there is. There is a there is a a cost of that. There is a lost that momentum. I don't know that it worries me. I am grateful for the reality. And again, this is something that

because you're watching other people that look like they're they're things growing faster or more

“exponentially. I look forward to the fact that when I have said no to something for whatever those”

reasons are, I have actually opened up a window of opportunity for somebody coming up behind me that if I'm too insecure to to open up that gap that I'm actually standing in the way if somebody else who might be coming up behind me and just needs a place to be. But I'm so insecure that I keep showing up in the spaces that are now meant for them. Wow. Wow. Wow. I kind of keep that in my mind that man, when I was 20 something, there were some people in their 50s that started to have different priorities.

Maybe in that season because of grandkids coming along. They were secure enough to say there knows that somebody sat there and thought, well you know what? There's this little girl named Priscilla. She's 27. Let's just give her a chance. There had to be a gap in a space for that. So I'm at least aware of that. I can't say that it worries me. I'm aware of the loss of momentum. Sometimes that just comes with age. The relevancy to a certain context might not be the same when you're in the age or

space or season that you're in. So I'm aware that that could happen for a number of reasons. But it doesn't worry me. I'm trusting God with this season just like I did with the last one. And I'm just expecting that he's going to honor me as I seek to keep honoring him. Gosh, that was so good. You hear that a lot from believers? I'm just going to trust in God. Yeah. And obviously, I think most people know your background, your father. Yeah. He's a good dad and

good mom and good dad. And let a lot of people to Jesus as well. Right. And I've never asked

anybody this before because I say it too and I've become much my effect my word for this year is surrender. It's a good word. It's a hard word. It's a hard word, right? And so I'm just wondering it's a hard question. But you're such a ability. They're a bright people, right? And then a rare ability is to have what I consider high IQ or EQ, which I think you have. And then the ability to articulate a thought, you're just going to ask you about that later. But what does that look

like like relying on God? Because everybody says that because someone's driving in their car, they're running on the treadmill right now. They have a problem. And they're running, they're ruminating it over and over in their mind thinking, if I just keep thinking about this again,

“I'm going to find a different answer, right? That's what we think. I know I do it. What does”

it look like? Like day to day, I'm going to trust God in this season or rely on God. What's that

like? Hard. But I will say it is easier. I have to just kind of reconcile the fact that is easier for some personality types than it is for others. Wow. I'm an easy-going personality type. There are some people, friends, and family members that I have. We can have the same conversation and the answer will be completely different because they're more type A kind of a perfectionist by nature. I'm more of a relaxed personality. So yeah, so I would say that it probably is easier

for me to come to that. But we're all human and want some modicum of control, a management of our family life, or our business life, or we would love to have it package a little bit more clearly. And I think that as time has gone on, the main thing that has helped me to relax and need to trust God more fully is having kids. It's this constant reality that I've got to let go. That to the extent that I try to manage and control is the extent to which I'm going to experience

more and more stress and anxiety and not be able to actually enjoy them. So it's something that being a mom has begun to work even more in me. Let go. 20 years old, 21 years old, 22 years old. Let go. Coach, offer advice, but release. Now I can enjoy you because I'm not trying to control you. That principle has been true with other areas of my life. Okay, Lord. I'm struggling because I'd love to be able to manage this thing and control this thing. I'm just going to do my part.

Be prepared. Make sure that I'm honing the craft, the skill, the opportunity you've given me. I'm going to do my part. But if I keep trying to do your part, then I'm not going to enjoy this ride of life because I'm going to be too busy trying to manage it and step into that God margin. So over time and again, I'm talking about this like I'm an expert and I'm not. It's a constant daily, weekly, monthly, okay. The next 24 hours,

what does God ask me to do? I'm going to show up and do that to the best of my abilities and I'm going to leave the outcome to him. My goodness. That's one of the best answers we've got on the show. That was such a, by the way, that model earlier to that you said about saying no to things and just reflecting on things you're saying and that it opens up other, yes, that's a faith thing as well. It's trusting that God's going to open up these other doors as you let other people walk through the

“ones that's their time to walk through. Yeah, absolutely. And I think that when we don't have margin,”

what's margin mean? I know what it means, but yeah, blank space. The blank space on my calendar

on a Monday on a Tuesday. And what that means is I can take a walk without the pressure of

I've got hurry up and catch a flight. I've got a hurry. The pressure of another important thing on my calendar, that margin allows me to take the walk to have the conversation with my husband to write without interruption because I can just spend the four hours writing or studying or baking the bread from my family or doing a thing because they're spaced there to do it without my mental real estate being taken up with the pressure of something that actually I have to go

do as well. That margin becomes an invitation not only to enjoy the regular rhythms of life, but also the surprises that I feel like we work ourselves out of that God wants to give us, but we don't even have enough resource of time, of patience, of energy, of wisdom or insight. We're so tapped out all the time that we don't have an overflow to engage the stranger who stops us in the line at Starbucks and strikes up a conversation instead of being annoyed at that person.

Now I have a little bit of margin to smile back and have a little three-minute conversation because all my space isn't crowded and that conversation hopefully is not only a blessing to them, but it becomes a blessing to me. Like God surprises me. Oh my goodness. I'm so glad I had this moment of margin to interact with this person and now this what could have been an interruption is an invitation and a divine moment that I can enjoy. That's tremendous. So I've just

enjoyed those pockets of margin. God kind of fills them in with little winks from heaven.

I always think I didn't know we were going to go here then what I was just thinking when you were

talking so help me go one more layer on it. It almost sounds like there's a life rhythm

“to your existence and that's why you're fully you can be fully present. I was just thinking”

in other areas like if you're an athlete rhythm matters, right? If you're enjoying a party or a dance or prayer or whatever there's a rhythm there's a pace there's a cadence to it. I almost feel like in our culture they was social media and speed and the news and who did this and we're that we've lost the desire or even the consciousness of being in a rhythm in our lives of having some pace and rhythm and cadence to our existence. Does that sound right?

I agree with you and it's being controlled by a rhythm we're watching in other people's life. That's perceived. It's created. It's filtered. So it looks like the rhythm of their life is that way or the cadence of their life is that way but we're just seeing their highlights. We're just seeing the bits and pieces they give us and then we're trying to keep up with it and model ourselves after it and we don't know the cost. We don't know the price they're paying. We don't

know the lack of peace they have or the lack of sleep they have. We don't know what their family

“life is like but we're trying to match it and it's costing us in ways that we have never anticipated.”

Now is your is your podcast but I have to ask you about the exact same thing because I look at your world and your life and how engaged you are with people and how much you're doing and I wonder about that for you. How do you manage the rhythm of your life? It's such a great question. I've learned a little bit of another level of it just sitting here with you because by the way it's actually true what you said like we've even talked about doing the show for many many months

and finally the time was right and I really admire that about you. I think part of what you said

earlier for me has been age and also it would be cool for two people that have had the blessing of some achievement to share this and all honesty I audit my dreams now things that mattered to me at 25 or 35 which was just that season of my life which is healthy at that season of my life. No longer are as important to me and so I'm sort of regularly prayerfully asking for guidance and a little bit of auditing of what is important to me now at 55 is supposed to it 25 or 35 and I

think I've done a better job of choosing things that I just had a conversation this morning. Ironically very well known person in the personal development space one of my dearest friends. She called me this morning in kind of a not feeling great mode. It was actually I was getting ready for another podcast and I was a little bit late because I was so deeply engaged in this and I said to her she's just a little bit like what should I be doing I'm not sure and I said at this

stage of my life if it gives me energy when I do it I'm not saying it's not work speaking is work but if I feel energized my soul feels fulfilled at this stage I want to do more of it but if I'm looking at my calendar and everything on it is I can't wait till that's over I don't want my calendar

“be loaded with that now there are certain stages of life I think you to agree where you just have”

to do difficult things you do the thing that's next but in between those gaps or that margin that you said I have given myself more space I have played a little bit more golf I am I pray

oh it's 930 I'm gonna hit my knees and say my prayers now it's all the time or anytime so that's

“change things for me and I think it's made me lighter I don't think I'm quite as I think my”

tendency like you don't have I think I'm I can be heavy you know what I mean like I can be wound up and heavy do you know what I'm saying like I'm an intense guy oh you you know I know and I'm just I'm a little lighter it's a little lighter to be around me by the way how do you do this I this is what I the this I'm referring to you have an anointing to communicate is it just an anointing or

if you worked at it like you're an incredible actress you also have this form of expression of

writing that you've been great at and you are electric on stage I mean you are clearly I mean it's a lot coming from you thank you by the way and I mean and I mean I am a little bit of I think my ability to compliment people on speaking is I really am sort of scrutinizing on that's a crap you are unbelievable okay truly remarkable and even in this environment if you worked on this

“is this an anointing did you pick it up from dad like what is that I did not realize at first of”

all thank you but I didn't realize until later in life that my whole upbringing I was in a master class for communications it is what it is I my dad has been my pastor since I was one year old every Sunday pretty much for my entire life I have watched Tony Evans preach he is a master orator clearly he is a preacher so he's preaching the Bible but even if he wasn't his ability to tie illustrations to principle his ability to make sure the message is concise and clear

because sometimes as communicators the hardest thing is to cut out all the extraneous things that might be great points but they're not the point and then your audience being able to take away

the one thing you were saying that's hard I watched dad do that every week so the reality is just

the craft of communicating I didn't realize I was absorbing that I thought everybody spoke like that Dell PCs with Intel inside are built for the moments that matter for the moments you plan and the ones you don't built for the busy days that turned into all night study sessions the moment you're working from a cafe and realize every outlets taken the times you're deep in your flow and the

“absolute last thing you need is an auto update throwing off your momentum that's why Dell builds”

tech that adapts to the way you actually work built with long lasting batteries so you're not scrambling for the closest outlet and built in intelligence that makes updates around your schedule

not in the middle of it they don't build tech for tech sake they built it for you find technology

built for the way you were at Dell.com/dell PCs built for you and because of who also dad was around my early years I was around zigzagler wow I just was with him he was like a grandfathers it's around him at events and sit next to him and talking to him and watching him speak I was around and grandlots who's one of Billy Graham's daughters and oh my gosh I was just watching her like you got to be kidding me you

know so there were people that I was just around that I was watching the craft that I did not know in those years I would be a communicator for a living in this way I didn't know that for a ministry so in hindsight I realized it wasn't something that I was actively practicing I was just absorbing and then obviously through the years when you're doing a thing you know I look back on some of my writing from 20 years ago and you look back at some of that and you're like Lord have mercy

I said what the world really was reading this so it's just in the doing of a thing I do think and I'm grateful for this that I wasn't so timid even though I knew my limitations that I wouldn't just do it anyway meaning sometimes when we know our weakness we know we're not that great of the thing it keeps you from even trying and whenever I would be in that moment where I'm like I'm not going to speak because I'm not good enough or I'm not going to write because I can't

there would be some voice of encouragement saying to do it just put the words down as you can and in exercising that you don't know that you're building one layer on top of another and there's maturity coming as you're going so I am grateful that I was just doing it all along even though I look back and go man that was terrible that was a terrible paragraph I wrote in that book but it's all exercise and you're building maturity and excellence as you go so funny say that I just

read the audio version of one of my books and I'm like oh my gosh this is so bad it's so bad just right when you look back on it you know what what I did learn I just want to reinforce a principle for people that are listeners that maybe you're not a stage speaker maybe you're a salesperson yeah heck maybe you're just a mom or a dad what you said about editing

cast major in college it's ironic that you were to okay there's success leaves clues right

“and so I didn't come back to doing it I didn't know there was pod when I was in college there”

were no podcasts I'd never knew I would even use it right but what you learn in broadcasting

is to say something most people say in more words in fewer because you got to get it into bites and so I learned to write and communicate think that way you're totally right about that less is usually more in your sales presentation even with your kids it's usually less is more so I really really believe that way in most areas of life even in the most fundamental silly ways like your closet if you have so much stuff in there this might be a woman's problem no I really

you got so much stuff in there you actually end up wearing the same three things over and over because you can't see what's in there it's all smashed together it's too complicated it's overwhelming you walk in you're just frustrated so you just keep picking the same three things you edit that stuff and get it down to some good things that you actually wear that you like they fit you now in this season of life and you space it out you start enjoying what you have

in utilizing what you have more because there's less very very well said wow I did that I did a podcast on it I did a whole thing on spring cleaning your life but it started with my own closet I'm like I why am I keeping this even more in the shirt in eight years like not eight well I'm trying to be polite to myself I want to shirt in twenty eight years you know I've been around a long time but I I very much agree with that sometimes just spring cleaning opens up clarity and you

“can see things that you wouldn't see and by the way even sometimes I think you'd agree”

sometimes even relationships there are certain relationships in your life that you know aren't serving you but you keep them around because that's comfortable yeah yeah you agree with that oh absolutely there's so many things that again it's just there whether it's a person or it's a habit that we've had or it's a you know something that's been a part of our life for as long as we can remember and we haven't taken the time to do what you said earlier which is just pause and re-evaluate

we're just comfortable with it and it's just a part of our daily rhythm we've never thought about

is it serving me right now right or am I serving it right now am I offering value here am I just taking up space um it one of the things that came to mind earlier when you said you re-evaluated now at this age in your life things that are not as important to you as they were in the 20s and the 30s I was immediately thinking about how when you're 20 and you're 30 and you're maybe start your 40s even when you're exercising and trying to eat right it really is about fit in

them jeans like I'm trying to look a certain way in terms when you're 45 50 and 55 you're still wanting to be active but my reasoning is different now I I don't want to jog necessarily all the time because of the impact having on my knees I want to walk when I'm 60 right I want my joints to be functional when I'm 65 and when I'm 70 so I'm altering even the way I exercise and eat based off of the reality of where I am today if I kept doing the same kind of exercises I did when I was 27

it might do more damage now than help what I'm never pausing to re-evaluate is going to cost

us yeah you know the other thing to by the way I'm loving this because it's right they are well they're right on the right on time for my life too because I do train very differently now I'm not trying to get to the beach and you go by the way I did for a long time wow like I don't that's okay with me now I'm trying to blow the shoulder out I'm trying to be able to throw a baseball to my grandkids someday I want my shoulders to work yeah I want to ride the horse

it's probably gonna not fall off but there's this great I want to ask you about this I was thinking about people I was about to interview when I watched this clip and you came to my mind and it's

“not a faith thing it's ironic although when I see faith things I think of you a lot um because you”

speaking is so incredible and has had an impact on me watching I truly truly truly um so there's this new show Taylor Sheridan wrote called The Madison I think I'm saying it right if you heard about I have only yes I've seen a little clip up but I haven't watched it yet but it looks who is who is it Kurt Russell and Michelle fight first it's really well done I enjoy it and really so far and um but there's this scene and I'll mess it up but I want to mention it to you and get your perspective on it

there's a scene and it's I won't say what happens on the show but it's Kurt Russell and he's on this like porch with his brother and you could tell they're very close and they're in rocking chair it's just this beautiful scene and they're talking about life and I'm paraphrasing here but Kurt Russell just he says we were just on vacation in the Caribbean somewhere and he goes you know I watch these people I'm about 15 years younger than I'm and I watch these people they're on the

beach from my balcony and they work their entire life to get to one moment which was this moment and they can't do anything about it because they're they're beat up they're too old they sacrifice their entire life for a moment was to get to the metaphorical beach of life and by the

said then I watch him at the restaurant that night and it was their dreams some day I'm gonna and I

“feel like it really made me step back and think at my age too but I think at any age this”

serves somebody delaying your peace or delaying your happiness for a moment of achievement and this is you know we're talking to women here said such success and so many achievements but what would you speak into somebody's life about because I feel like most people are like I'm gonna be happy when I get to that beach when I get that house paid off or get that car or that relationship or that and a lot of times by the time you get there it's no longer the time right I'm wondering

what you think about that man about a trillion thoughts just went through my head I think I would tell my younger self yeah this is it you're in it if you will milk and enjoy and treasure and take the opportunity to really engage with the people that are in this season build the relationships build the bridges learn the skill watch absorb you don't even know that the key for what you need in the

“next season is in your current season I would tell my young 20 year old self growth this is it”

enjoyed this part of the journey single enjoy being single because when you're married then you're gonna think I want I want the kids then you're gonna have the kids and you're gonna think

when they go to college there's always this next piece but what you need for the next piece is in the

piece you're in and if you miss it you'll look back on the season there are a couple times in my life where I look back on a season you know the winds of change blew and blew me out of a season just like that and then I look back and went oh my goodness there were treasures I missed there were lessons I didn't gain there was character I didn't build there were relationships within which there was opportunity because your resources are in your relationships

if you don't garner and foster and cultivate those relationships while you're there you don't even know you have just demolished a bridge that was a part of what would take you to the next level of opportunity or invitation that you had for the next elevation point in your life so I would tell myself you're in it milk it enjoy it and get everything out of it and give everything to it that God has put you here for I feel like there's a little bit of like a like a blessing over our

conversation right now so I don't usually do this on the podcast go back as usually I'm just asking questions but I want to share something with you about what you just said a few weeks ago I spoke at an event and like you I speak quite a bit and there was a Q&A in this little board room with like their VIPs and the founder of the event was there I won't say his name but I was really impressed with this man at the event I actually when I got back I said to my wife I said

guys got his act together he's liked him he loved the Lord seemed to have a good family life in fact after the event he was supposed to go fly fishing with his son anyway there was a young man in the room and he asked a question what advice would you give your younger self and my advice was very similar to what you just said I said you're as young and as focus as you'll ever be in your life this is the time this is it this is the time and I said I promise you 10 years

from now you're going to realize that was the time even though then that will be the time that's right that's right and I had that conversation with them and I felt good about my answer you know I'm

“saying I felt like that's really what I think in any event I found out this week that”

that man that was running that event with his son just recently died in a plane crash the two of them yeah they were killed in a plane crash and I tell you that and both of them the father and

son yes yes and a nephew and but I say that to just a second what you said like I had no idea

how to sort of prophetic that message was to that young man it truly was the moment and I'm not suggesting that that's because we're all going to die prematurely but like we will someday imagine if right and imagine if we all kick our bliss down the road until some future date because at some point you are going to not be here anymore and so waiting around for the perfect conditions or the moment to give yourself the gift God would love you to have right now which is just some peace in

her life some bliss is not worth waiting for so when you were talking I was getting a little emotional there because I was thinking of that young man and his dad at the event isn't that remarkable it is remarkable and you know my mom is in heaven now she graduated to heaven when she turned 70 it was 20 days after she turned 70 for young healthier whole life and then all of a sudden just a cancer diagnosis that we had nine months with her and she was gone she wanted to go

to Australia her whole life my dad and and mom had it planned for two months after she was gone

until they were 70 oh my goodness so to your point there are some things you don't need to be doing when you're younger because you don't need to be spent in the money on at the time on it you got to be wise but there are some things we're waiting on this romanticized idealized version of

what life will be win and the reality is you don't know what life will be then you think you know

“and you can plan accordingly however there are some things you need to fully engage and invest in right”

now in the season of life God has given you because we don't know we don't know yeah so good yeah bless your dad I imagine he has very few regrets by the way he's a he was a good dad is a good dad grandfather and now great grandpa so we're blessed well you lead me to my next point we don't have that much time but I've met one of your sons JC right JC yeah very impressive thank you he's a good kid he is mature polite very smart but even in the couple times that he's a message to me there's

uh he's out here message of you oh my son is message of my life I've asked him to oh yeah no and

and he check on these kids no no no no no I wanted him to and he gets it there's a rhythm there you

said something with your dad earlier that it was really caught not taught right yeah I'm just wondering as someone who is busy you know I can I can attest to at least one of your children there's some good fruit there what would you say to somebody who's you know they're raising a family and pursuing a dream right now and maybe feeling guilt you know I'm I'm at work too much or I'm here or when I'm at home I feel like I should be at work just that whole conversation what would you

say to them to be as intentional as you can you you are going to feel that I mean you know anybody

“who's doing anything splitting their time and any two important ways or three important ways you”

are going to feel a measure of that because we're human be as intentionally as you can about mapping

out but what is the priority here and let me make sure that I'm giving it as much as I possibly can in this case our family J.C. called me recently he was engaged in a friendship with a young woman that he was considering maybe this could be a little bit some more he wouldn't sure but he was having conversations with her she's very ambitious very driven by career the possibly for career moving forward and it occurred to him in conversation that there was a little bit of difference

in the way he saw a family then she might so he called me and he said mom we were with y'all all the time we traveled with y'all we homeschooled our boys for a long time so they could travel with us we were with y'all all the time we were in the green rooms with you we were you know you were at home when we were at home you know you were gone some but it just felt like y'all were we were with you was that just because life worked out that way or did you guys intentionally make that

great power family yeah I said J.C. that's a great question that was a decision your dad and I made we could have been gone all the time we decided that if you couldn't be with us we weren't going so did that cost us yes were there things we had to sacrifice yes were we exhausted yes but we just decided we didn't do it perfectly man there are some things I'd go back and do a little bit differently still to this day so it's not gonna be right but know it wasn't by mistake

even your dad being as present in your life as he has been a lot of young men and young women can't say their dad was around maybe mom but dad was busy dad was at work that was that was building a career but the fact that your dad was at all your games and took y'all to practice and without the dinner table and was a part of y'all's life in that sort of intentional way you got to believe your dad made that decision and it cost him so I appreciated that J.C. it was

occurring to him that unless you choose priorities and then mold your life around those priorities those priorities will be watered down life will take you in different directions just like we have to be intentional about our health we have to be intentional about making time to read a book for a mental health if we want to continue to buoy up our education or inspiration just like

“you have to be intentional with all those other areas of your life the reality is when you're”

raising a family if you are not sort of molding and sacrificing to make sure this is the priority it won't magically be you're going to have to be intentional about it just like all the areas of like but you know what and I'm getting a little long-winded I saw that my dad and mom did that and now in hindsight see when you're grown and you have your own kids that's when you realize oh they didn't really enjoy this all the time it wasn't natural they were choosing hmm

so us sitting around the table for dinner four kids attitude problems don't want to be here would rather be watching TV mad because the chicken's not cooked right mom wasn't like just thrilled about

was the standard yeah she just decided this is what we're going to do for the culture of our home

yeah and so I wow very well said yeah so gotta be intentional that's the bottom line you

one thing about him and you my favorite people have a unique quality that I just enjoy their company and that is that they're confident yet they tow this line of they also have humility it's a unique nuance in people I don't know if you agree but we both known people that have a ton of confidence and lack humility and they can become pretty difficult to be around the depth

“of the relationship doesn't go very deep and typically I think without that humility they think”

it's them they don't know where the blessings come from sometimes they end up sort of flaming out or make it a mistake or you know and then we also have friends who have tons of humility and no confidence and you're kind of carrying them through life they end up in oh boy I just got a text from someone so here we go you know and so I'm wondering if you do you do something to cultivate as at your faith life like you do have that personally you're

confident but there's a ton of humility there is that is that a conscious thing is that something from your faith is that something you intentionally instilled in your children because JC has that gosh I would say it's a combination of all those things to be honest definitely the faith because you know I'm just so aware that except for the grace of God I mean where would we be if he weren't so kind and gracious and merciful to bestow upon us another breath for the next day you know

“I'm aware of the fact that he has been gracious so I'm constantly aware of that but then I think”

family humbles you you kids are gonna look at you and get that great they're gonna you know look at the movie and go that was terrible do they really okay or not terrible they'll be like that's all right so you have people around you that have been in your life whether it's your family or friends you've had that your nine and and that kind of just reminds you we're all we're all out here doing important things mind is not more important than their thing even if it's less broad or

they have a smaller platform their thing is just as important as my thing so we're all doing something that matters for the kingdom of God but also just on earth we're all impacting people so I think I'm just around um people who their presence helps to sober us all up that we all matter also I've been in settings I've been in settings where I realize how small I am in the bucket

in that setting because you're in this atmosphere where oh my gosh that person has 20 million followers

on Instagram or this person over here is speaking every weekend to 10,000 people you know you're around people who it makes it gives you some frame of reference some perspective yeah some perspective

“so I'm also grateful for that that I'm just a small part of a big puzzle and I think because I”

happen to be around a bunch of people who are doing great things on whatever level it's just a reminder that I'm just another person doing hopefully helpful things for others the other thing you do really well I got one more question for it but I just want to acknowledge something in you that I've noticed I just think behind the scenes people might not know about you you're incredible at making other people feel seen and good about themselves you're you're intentional about it that's not just something

you do you you do it very well you did the first time you met me I remember you being so complimentary

of me and you'd seen me speak or something and and then but you do that with everybody and you by the way that's one hack to being a happier person and more confidence is just believe in other people and love them and express it it's a short cut but it's really it's it's one of your superpowers and I have to imagine that that's also true in parenting I do I just want to acknowledge that piece of you thank you yeah awesome thank you very much well encouraged well I'm I'm

setting you up for a hard question yeah okay so here it is and this is the important one and I wanted to ask you this I should have asked more people of faith that I admire this question you're gonna be the first okay most people watching this because you're on it will be believers they're they're Christians they're in the church but some aren't yeah and there's a lot of people you and I both know this that some I think my friend Erumic Manis says it sometimes with it sometimes

Christians are the biggest obstacle to Jesus meaning this that there are people that you know they look at church or people in church or they were wronged by someone who's a believer or what they have this thing like you know some of it looks really good but some of it doesn't look so good to me and but I want peace in my life I want the love of God in my life I think I hear this whisper where I want to come home you know they've heard it all their life yet people

people oftentimes can kind of get in the way totally right and so there may be somebody today

have that feeling right now what would you say to them that people and just the things of earth

will constantly disappoint and instead of them turning us off to a relationship with God they're supposed to be a reminder and an agitator in knowing that we were made for something

“different that's why it bothers us that's why the hurt we faced by that person the Christian who”

was a hypocrite who didn't have integrity who said one thing and didn't know the thing

the reason why you have the distaste is because there's something in all of us that know this is not the way it's supposed to be so instead of it turning us off to a relationship with God really let it press you into him it's it's his invitation it's an opportunity for you to see

that he is not them heaven is not earth and you're dissatisfied with it because you were made

for something more and he's offering you an opportunity to take that invitation

“we're made for something different that's why death stings the way it does”

that's why sickness makes us go man this is not this is not something a baby passes away so something about that doesn't work divorce betrayal it breaks our heart it devastates us that's why because we weren't made for this so let that be the invitation to you God reaching out as hands saying come come walk with me there's only one perfect one who ever existed it's not me not you

“not anybody around you we've put that expectation on them and that's why it continues to devastate”

us but there's only one perfect one his name is Jesus and he'll give you the peace you've been looking for amen okay you slate that answer just FYI and you know you did this was such a good conversation can we can we do this like at least every couple years man that would be awesome this was the best conversation I've had in a while they hear no offense anybody else yeah I loved this okay you're invited back officially you guys sometimes I say please share the show

but I'm pretty sure today I don't need even ask you to do it so thank you so much for joining us this was Priscilla Shire you guys God bless you max out your life