The Girlfriends: Spotlight, E23: Anna Catches a Catfish

There was no... anything inside those eyes. They turned black.

It scared the hell out of me. Evil wake up! I'm the one that saw the murder! Take place by Tremet and DiPipo! Anthony DiPipo showed no signs of remorse,

appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum. I said I'm not guilty, I'll take it to the grave. Listen to the devil's quarry and the bone valley feed on the i-hark radio app. Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

“Joy is essential, and it's also elusive, but now.”

There's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hota Kopy. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy,

tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats.

Open your free i-hark radio app search, Joy 101, and listen now. Joy 101 with Hota Kopy is presented by CVS. My husband is at a spa resort with his mistress right now, and I'm calling the hotel to confront them both.

Wait a minute, Dakota. She's calling the hotel while they're checked in together. Yeah, that's right, Sophia. And it gets worse. It's vacated vacation week on the okay story time podcast, where she caught him buying gifts on Amazon, and then taped the 10-page letter inside his luggage before he flew out.

So she planted evidence before he even took off? And spoiler, Sophia, two years later, karma hits so hard he's calling his ex-wife. In tears, saying about his mistress, "Where did the stick that was?"

“To find out what happened, listen to the okay story time podcast on the i-hark radio app,”

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey everyone, it's the Jonas Brothers. If you haven't heard, Arnie podcast is called Hey Jonas. And this week, we're hanging out with someone we're really big fan of. Millie, Bobby Brown.

We talk about her new movie and all the home's three family life,

and all the amazing things she has going on right now.

Plus, we find out what she really feels about the strange things in it. You have over 60 animals. I don't know whether the number 60 and I've really got to figure that out. There have been plenty of sheep in my bed. Yeah, I like that.

Literally sleeping in the bed. Listen to hey Jonas on the i-hark radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. My first guest is here in Colton. Shackida, Luke, and Yiddin.

Have surprise. I see you. Many surprises.

“Welcome to the sweet 305 podcasts where the new check comes to life.”

What the f***? You're the only person I know that loves Diallo's diverse. Oh, I'm a nerd. This is sweet 305. Here, oversharing is encouraged.

Listen to sweet 305 with Lele Pans on the i-hark radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey girlfriends, quick note. This episode includes brief mentions of sexual assault and suicide. I didn't want that to surprise you.

Now, onto a really juicy cat-fishing story. It's Thursday night, 10 p.m., and a row is sitting on her sofa. Two phones balanced on her lap. I had taken the app off my phone, but put it back on again. As it sprung to life, it came up with, you've got a match, you've got a message.

It's a message from Tinder, the dating app. And I was like, "What the hell, I've not swiped on anyone?" Anna's spidey sensors are tingling. In the direct messages was the message. Hi Anna, let me start wearing you based.

It was the exact same message as I'd got from him 14 months before. Same profile, same opening line. He hadn't realised it was me. This is a big shock, because these messages are coming from her boyfriend of more than a year.

Her boyfriend, who just said he's been gushing about her to his family. Another same time, he's messaging Anna's fake profile, which he thinks is a completely different woman. With the exact same messages he'd used to woo Anna. It was the words on the profile that really got me.

Don't like poor communication and mine games. But now, 14 months on, she sits on her sofa and watches him message her two different accounts with two very different versions of himself. His whole demeanor had changed.

He was leaving sorted voice messages, and it was horrible, very, very hyper-sexualised.

Well, unravel everything she thought she knew about love, trust,

and the man she was madly in love with.

“And we'll set her on a path to save thousands of women”

from romance fraud. I'm Anna Simfield, and from the teams at Novel and I Heart Podcasts. This is the girlfriend Spotlight, where we tell stories of women winning. (upbeat music)

Today, Anna catches a catfish. (upbeat music) Anna Rose is a single mum living in Essex, just outside of London. At 42, she's a part-time teacher,

who's been on her own for two and a half years, since her ex left her when she was pregnant. So, single mum, part-time working, and did not have the time or the energy or the money to be going out, trying to meet people in the normal way.

At this point, in 2014, online dating isn't quite mainstream yet, but Anna's had success with it before. A lovely, two and a half year relationship, that only ended due to distance. So when her friends start talking about this new app called Tinder,

she's skeptical, but curious. I was like, "Get out of here, not going on there." She's got really bad reputation. She wouldn't as a hook-up app, and that no, no, no, no.

“That's what it was like when it first came out.”

Now, people tend to put on their profiles, what it is they're looking for, and there were even people that we knew that it got married from meeting on theirs. I was like, "Oh, let's give it a go."

She downloads Tinder. She swipes through the familiar faces. It's the same man from all the other apps. Then, one profile stops her and her tracks. This one came up this picture.

I didn't particularly like the picture. It's a black and white photograph. Guynessoo, but the rest of it underneath it grew me in. So it said, "Onist, loyal, humble, genuine." Looking for a long-term serious relationship.

Green flags all around, and a swipes ride. And the next morning at 7am, her phone pings.

“You've got a match, and then ping, you've got a message.”

Opened it up, and it was him. And it said, "Hi, Anna.

Let me go first, where are you based?"

And the conversation starts. They chat on the app for three weeks. Then, exchange phone numbers. Just nice, easy-going conversation. He seemed really lovely.

He opened up all about himself, which having gone through a couple of not great relationships prior. It gave me permission and confidence if you like, because he'd already done it, to open up about the bad experiences that I'd had. He's also a parent, wary about dating again.

And he puts his children first. He told me and set expectations that in the week he was often working away a lot. But at the weekends was the time he got to spend with his kids. And that was the agreement that he had with his ex-wife. This devotion to his children is incredibly attractive.

But we can parenting along with those work trips.

I mean, she isn't always available.

Being a single mom and someone that works as well, that was okay by me. I am fairly independent and always have been fairly independent. So, although I really wanted someone to be able to share my life with in that immediate moment that was absolutely fine for me.

Weeks pass, building trust, constantly messaging, sharing stories over phone calls, creating what feels like genuine intimacy. Then suddenly, he disappears. I felt really disappointed and immediately I fell back into what I'd done. He obviously doesn't like me as much as I liked him.

Feeling really down about it. Anna's devastated. But just as she's writing the whole thing off as another dating disappointment, her phone pings, a message came through just kisses. And so, I sent back Santa Claus question mark.

And he made a funny comment a laugh. And before I knew it, I was drawn back in and we were chatting again. Did he explain himself? No, just said he'd been busy and I just let it go. Things were really lovely.

And then I set what's up, what's up, up, on my phone. I'd not had it before. And because he was in my contacts, he came up. And I was like, oh, that's another new picture. And I was like, that's a really lovely picture.

And he sent back saying, so when are we going to meet then?

“And just like that, after weeks of buildup, a data set to meet in person.”

Anna is delighted. I was really excited to meet him. So because he'd already set out expectations about his job and it'd be really busy, he said, I probably won't get to you before eight o'clock. It would be too late to go out to a restaurant or something like that.

And I was like, okay, let me cook you dinner. Anna puts the kids to bed, cooks dinner, and then, and knock on the door, I was really, really nervous. I'd had a one drink, it hadn't done anything to call my nerves. And I opened the door and he looked up at me.

And then he went, oh, hang on a minute, and he closed the door.

“And I was like, what the hell is going on?”

And I just walked to myself. Jesus, as he looked at me and thought, oh, my God, I don't want to see her and go on. And then two minutes later, he came back and knocked on the door again. And I opened the door and he went, I'm so sorry, I'm a bit late. And I didn't want you to think I was a squaff, not being suited and boot.

He'd left my jacket in the car. And he was then standing there fully suited. And I said, come in and he came in and he just scoopsed me up in his arms,

kiss me on the forehead and said, I'm so pleased to finally meet you.

Did you just swim? His voice anyway, he had got me. I'd already said to him in the text message, I'm really quite scared at how much I feel for you already. He'd already got me and he has got a really soft voice and he knew it. He knew that his voice was a pull.

And I said, take a coat off, I'll make a cup of tea, and he pushed issues off in the port. And then he followed me through, ladies jacket over the back of the chairs and then came into the kitchen and sort of lent back on the worktop with his legs crossed. Like it was something that he'd done every night for 20 years and it was the naturalist thing in the world. The two of them spend the evening chatting, getting to know one another.

And in the morning, he leaves early for work, but something has fundamentally shifted. Anna is hooked. I am that personality type, it doesn't happen very often. I have a connection with someone, but when that connection is there, I fall hard and fast. What follows are some intense months of dating?

There's a pattern that develops. They have two to three days, one week, there may be one, the following week, or maybe none at all. It absent flows like normal dating. And when he's there, he's completely present, phoned to end off, all attention on Anna.

“He would remember things that were happening in my life that my family and friends”

hadn't remembered. He made me the center of his world.

And for someone like me that's always lacked self-worth and self-esteem.

Having that kind of love and want for one of the better phrase per around you is really empowering. And did you fall in love? Yeah, I was. He would ask my opinion about stuff and he valued or appeared to value my opinion about things and they almost create this power imbalance in your favor.

So you feel that you're almost more important in the relationship, which is a really strange feeling to have when you're not someone that's really experienced that before, when you're always on the back foot. It's very clever. He was very possessive over me, which again, someone without a lot of self-worth or self-esteem. He would message me, "Where's my woman? What are you up to?" Six months past, an intoxicating cycle of intense connection and fun dates punctuated by a few

weeks where they don't see one another. And those messages that, yes, sometimes sound a little bit controlling. But she's smitten. Anna pushes any doubts to the back of her mind. They're planning to take the plunge and meet each other's families. When, just before Christmas, 2015, he arrived that night and his face had absolutely action and he was standing just there and he had tears in his eyes and I was like, "Well,

how's the matter?" And he went, "I've just, I've got some really bad news. It's been a really hard day." He tells Anna that his mother's been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. He goes into details about the symptoms, the treatments they're considering. He's completely

Anna is very understanding and supportive, of course. The next morning, he sounds even more vulnerable.

“I'm just so sorry about all this. Please don't leave me. I can't do this without you.”

I'm not going to be able to get through it if you're not there for me. He knew I needed to be needed. I like feeling needed. Anna is completely committed to supporting her boyfriend as she now thinks of him through this crisis. Over the winter holidays and into the new year, the two of them don't meet in person. And as night in shining armour becomes increasingly distant, his mother's condition is worsening. But they're still in constant contact by text and

on calls. It was actually me that turned around and said to him, "Please don't stress yourself out about trying to drive to me. I just want you to be strong for your mum. Just make sure that we're still in touch all the time because I just don't want you to feel alone." And this went on for months. And that paranoia kicking back in. And I would very quietly and cautiously every now and again over the next five months slip into the conversation. Do you think it'd be easier and less

“stressful for you if we just left things for now? So you didn't have to think about me at all.”

And then when everything's okay and your mum's better, we can pick up where we left off. And he would fly at me and flip at me saying, "Don't do this. I told you I can't do this without you. It's just a bad face. We're going through." And it would bring confidence back to me that everything was going to be fine. They don't meet for more than half a year. So Anna's voice of doubt starts to grow louder. She can't shape the feeling that something isn't right. And that doubt

is about to lead her to a discovery that will change everything. After the break, Anna finds out the truth. In the moment, it felt like it was going on forever. I didn't think I was going to live. I was terrified. There was no... anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me.

That was your first murder case. Yes, sure.

It's fair to say this was the biggest case here, career. Yes, sir. Right, the murder of her tongue is probably more challenging. It's bad as it gets. I would think so. People wake up and the one that saw the murder, take place by crevents and the people.

Anthony DiPipo showed no signs of remorse, appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum. I said, "I'm not guilty. I'll take it to the grave." Listen to the devil's quarry on the iHard radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to hear the devil's quarry at free, with exclusive content, subscribe to Love A For Good Plus on Apple Podcasts.

Hey, I'm Hota-Katby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hota-Katby.

Okay, if you know me, you know this. I'm always searching for inspiration,

for support, and useful tools to help maximize joy. So, this podcast lets us uncover all of that together. We're going to have these meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people, like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges that she never saw coming. I've gone through breast cancer and it helped my mother through breast cancer,

and that was more difficult. There's a lot of people who understand post-partner question. I was not prepared for post-partner anxiety. Olympic champ Sean Johnson revealed why she had no choice, but to be a gymnast. There was something about gymnastics that was intoxicating to me. It's given me a belief that we all have one of those treasures inside of us. We just have to find it. Listen to Joy 101 with Hota-Katby on the iHeart Radio

app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My husband is currently on a vacation

“with his mistress, and I'm confronting them. Tell me Sophia, how did she even catch them?”

One Amazon shopping receipt. He accidentally sent her a photo of the kid's Christmas gifts with a delivery to another woman at the bottom. He exposed himself. That's a rookie move. Couples massages, monogrammed bath robes, and lingerie, he met motor 4. So she spent four weeks gathering evidence, and taped a 10-page letter inside his

luggage before he flew out. In his luggage, she came to play. And a second he landed, he blocked her.

So she called the hotel room directly and got the mistress on the phone. Oh, she got the mistress

the mistress on the Bahamas honeymoon trip. He had planned with his wife, and that and the

“mistress tagged him on Facebook, outing the fair to her entire family. That's like a whole public”

confession. And spoiler two years later, Karma hit some solo heart. He's calling his ex-wife in tears saying about the mistress, "What a mistake that was!" To find out what happened, listen to the okay story-time podcast on the iHard Radio Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Hey everybody, it's the Jonas Brothers. This week on the podcast, hey Jonas, we're so excited to be hanging out with Mika Abdullah from the Hit Show off campus. Congratulations on the massive show

and that's a success. Got through about episode five, I left the next morning to go meet the guys. Came back was a cool. Let's pick up where we left off, and that series had been

“completed without me. Oh no, that's the number one rule of watching some places. It's literally”

cheating. It's like that's crazy. We talk about what it's been like watching the show become such a massive hit. What's next for season two, and just how close the off campus cast really is. We're genuinely so close. What's the group chat called? If you can say if it's allowed to be said on the on-pod, it's a great question. One of them is off campus Brazil. Okay, love them. Shout-up Brazil. Shout-up Brazil. And then the boys have their own group chat called Deans.

Our conversation with Mika Abdullah is out now. Go check it out. Listen to hey Jonas and the I-Hart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

My first guest is here in Sultan, Shakita, Luke, and Yirin. Samita, eat. Good I see you.

I'm so excited. On the bounce, you bet. You have surprises. Manis surprises. Welcome to Sweetpeal 5 with a good chat comes to life. What a f*****t. It's like what a f*****t. It's like what a f*****t. Hola Mika. Hola me, Hola hermana. What a f*****t.

“Look, I'm never going to be able to speak with anyone. It's a f*****t, you know what I mean?”

Say me a m*****t. Oh, yeah. I'm sh**ing baby, ya la te noela. You're the only person I know that loves the Yala's diverse. I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, but October 2016, Anna hasn't seen her boyfriend in person for months.

He's now supposedly abroad for work. I mean, she hasn't seen him since the previous year. He's always online on WhatsApp. She's starting to feel a bit suspicious.

I got to a point where I thought I'm just going to check to see whether he's still on the app. Anna reinstalls Tinder. I didn't want to talk to anybody, and I just put a stock image on the profile instead. She puts in the same search parameters she used before. And within 20 swipes, her heart drops to the floor. It's the same profile, still active, still looking for matches. Anna immediately sends him a message on WhatsApp. I said, "Well, that was going on. You told me that you'd come off of this."

And he said, "I don't know what you're talking about. I deleted the app from my phone when we met." And luckily for him at that point, I had just seen an article that said that a lot of people were getting caught out, because they thought that if you deleted the app from your phone, it deleted the profile from the platform, and it doesn't. So again, I'm like, "Oh, this is my fault. Perhaps I've made a mistake. He didn't did up phone to me." And then he said to me, "That I'm not interested in anyone. I'm barely coping at the moment." And I then felt really bad for questioning him again.

So anyway, we left it at that. But then, over the next two days, he's completely radio silent. Anna suspicions intensify. So she decides to reopen Tinder and set up a profile with a fake name, as well as a fake photo. This time, when she comes across as profile, she swipes right. And that's when she gets the ping, a match in the direct messages was the message, "Hi, Anna. Let me start. Where are you based?"

It was the exact same message as I'd got from him 14 months before Anna's world tilts. The man she's been in a relationship with for the best part of a year has just used the exact same pick-up line on what he thinks is a complete stranger.

Then she goes home and sits down with the two phones on her lap, chatting with him from the two different profiles.

“And what Anna witnesses over the next few hours is devastating.”

With her, this man was slow and careful. With the fake woman, he's moving really fast and getting sexual almost immediately. I couldn't keep it up, I couldn't keep it up. And he got to a point where he asked me for more pictures and I didn't have any, it was just a stock image. So I sent him pictures of me and I sent him that quote that says if people got paid for being liars, I know someone who'd be a millionaire. Oh my gosh, that's a power move. And then he turned around to me when I knew it was you and I don't think so.

And then he said, "By and sent me kisses on both of the chats." And he blocked me.

Anna is furious, hurt, confused, shocked. She needs answers. I was whacked, I was absolutely wrecked.

“And those got instincts that really started kicking in.”

And I just learned about doing with her searches. So I had the picture I'd screen grabbed of the date and profile. And I ran that through with her search. Anna stares at her computer screen in disbelief. The profile photo he had used belongs to a movie actor. Not someone I know is, but definitely famous.

I started reading up about this actor and some of the backstory of this actor for me childhood was very similar to what he'd been telling me.

“And I was like, "What the hell is going on here?" And I then started, he'd said he was worked in legal and I thought, "Well, it's surely he's going to be on the register somewhere."”

Anna starts searching for any trace of this man. Putting his name into every search box, she can think of legal registers, public records, anything. She finds nothing. Something is very, very wrong. Anna decides that she's going to need some help if she's going to find the truth. So she recruits some outreach friends to join her detective team. The only place they know to find this guy is on the dating apps.

We set up profiles and we were just seeing if we could find him and match with him to get more information out of him basically.

So we did that over the next six weeks and it was so easy to match with him and the matches always came through between six and seven the next morning.

And the message would be exactly the same starting off the conversation. And it became apparent that this was very practiced. He still had this ridiculous hold over me, but I am a bit of a detective at that point. My brain can't rest. And I was at that point trying to get information out of him asking him if he was married, that kind of stuff. Then Anna notices something in the app, the distance measurements, Tinder shows how far away potential matches are at any given time. And this man's location follows a predictable pattern.

During weekdays, he's 44 miles away from Anna's home. During weekends, he's 84 miles away. I got one of those, you can get a radius tool and you can put in how far the radius goes around your location. With this information in hand, Anna makes a pact with herself. She's going to track him down in person and find out who he really is. She and her friend Richard drive around London in a big ring following the distance radius Tinder's giving them and using clues from previous conversations to narrow things down.

Until they pull up to a parking lot. As we drove around suddenly, there was a car in front of me and it had the exact same number plate all by the last digit as the car that he drove to me in. The car would stop, and I was like, "That can't be coincidence, can it?" And my friend went, "No." And we drove around and I parked up. And within five minutes he walked down the steps of the big office block. And there we was standing in front of me, only like 50 meters away. Richard gets out of the car and approaches him, asking for a light. Then follows him back into the building to see where he goes.

At that point, I saw him appear because it's a three story building. I saw him appear up in the top left corner and then I recognized the backdrop where he'd sent me pictures from that office.

For the first time, Anna knows this man's real name and where he works. I started finding out who he really was. And I spent two weeks getting some control back because he knew everything about me and I mean more than anybody knew about me.

“So I researched who he was and I swear by the end of that two weeks I knew more about him than he did. And I wanted to discover what was true and what was lies about what he told me.”

What Anna finds out or shatter everything she thought she knew about the man she thought she loved. After the break, the capfisher is called. In the moment, I felt like it was going on forever. I didn't think I was going to live. I was terrified. There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me.

That was your first murder case.

Fear to say this was the biggest case you're career? Yes. Right, the murder of a child is probably more child. It battles against everything. People wake up and the woman saw the murder, paid place by crevents and the people. Anthony DiPipo showed no signs of remorse appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum. I said I'm not guilty, I'll take it to the grave.

“Listen to the devil's quarry on the Ihard radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.”

And to hear the devil's quarry add free with exclusive content, subscribe to Love of For Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. Hey, I'm Hota Cotby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hota Cotby. Okay, if you know me, you know this. I'm always searching for inspiration, for support, and useful tools to help maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover all of that together.

We're going to have these meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people, like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges that she never saw coming.

I've gone through breast cancer and then helped my mother through breast cancer, and that was more difficult. There's a lot of people who understand post-parner depression. I was not prepared for post-parner anxiety. Olympic champ Sean Johnson revealed why she had no choice, but to be a gymnast. There was something about gymnastics that was intoxicating to me. It's given me a belief that we all have one of those treasures inside of us. We just have to find it.

“Listen to Joy 101 with Hota Cotby on the Ihard radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.”

My husband has currently on a vacation with his mistress, and I'm confronting them. Tell me Sophia, how did she even catch them? One Amazon shopping receipt. He accidentally sent her a photo of the kid's Christmas gifts with a delivery to another woman at the bottom. He exposed himself. That's a rookie move. Couples massages, monogrammed bath robes, and lingerie, he met motor 4.

So she spent four weeks gathering evidence, and taped a 10-page letter inside his luggage before he flew out. In his luggage, she came to play.

And the second he landed, he blocked her.

So she called the hotel room directly and got the mistress on the phone. Ooh, she got the mistress live on the phone. That is a bold move. Let's see if it pays off. Then it gets worse. He took the mistress on the Bahamas Honeymoon trip. He had planned with his wife, and then the mistress tagged him on Facebook, outing the fair to her entire family.

That's like a whole public confession. And spoiler 2 years later, Karma hit some solo heart. He's calling his ex wife in tears, saying about the mistress, "What a mistake that was!" To find out what happened, listen to the okay story-time podcast on the IR radio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everybody, it's the Jonas Brothers.

This week on the podcast, Hey Jonas, we're so excited to be hanging out with Mika Abdullah from the hit show off campus. Congratulations on the massive show and that's a success. Got through about episode 5, I left the next morning to go meet the guys. Came back was a cool, let's pick up where we left often. That series had been completed without me.

Oh no, that's the number one rule of watching some clips. Yeah, it's literally cheating, like that's crazy.

What's next for season 2, and just how close the off campus cast really is. We're genuinely so close. What's the group chat called?

“If you can say if it's allowed to be set on the on-pot, it's a great question.”

One of them is off campus Brazil. Okay, love. Shout-up Brazil. Shout-up Brazil. And then the boys have their own group chat called Deans.

Our conversation with Mika Abdullah is out now. Go check it out. Listen to hey Jonas and the I-Hart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Look at the camera.

Look, I never saw a guy talking to anyone.

That's how you started my music. Yes. Yes. My hand. Oh, my.

Oh, my. I don't see it.

“I don't only personally know that love is the best I ever ever said.”

Oh, man. I'm not an adult who can do it. I would like to collaborate with this person. This is sweet, you're five. With Lele Ponce as part of my third podcast network on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Anna spends two weeks scaring public records, electoral roles, social media. Anything that might reveal the truth about who this man really is. What she discovers is astounding.

His mother never had cancer.

In fact, she's perfectly fine. But she is estranged from her son, and the truth of them don't have a good relationship. And he's not divorced. He's still very much married, living with his wife and children. So for the next six weeks, Anna keeps asking him to meet up.

He always refused. I'd discovered that he'd blocked me on WhatsApp, but not on the text messages.

“And I'd kept saying, "Can you just meet up so that I can ask you face-to-face?”

Why have you been doing what you were doing?" He always refused. But at the end of that two weeks, I then messaged him on his work phone, because I'd managed to get that number. Because they left it on the WhatsApp phone at his work. And I messaged him on that number with his real name and said, "I'd really like to meet."

And within ten minutes, I had an agreement to meet and a time. The next day. Yeah, you scared them. Yeah. Yeah.

Anna has blown his cover completely. The next day, she arrives at their meeting place, holding an envelope full of papers. It is everything she's found out so far about his real persona. She hands it to him. I asked him questions, some of which I knew the answers, because I'd got it.

And some that I didn't, but I would never truly know, because he was a pathological liar.

He told me some other awful stuff about why he was like he was that I've never repeated to anyone. And he said, "It's just me. There's just two I am." And I said, "Can you just do one thing for me?" Because I did say he'd done this to anyone else, and he said, "I've had one night stands, but I've never done this in a relationship situation before." And I said, "There's just one thing that I want to say to you, and that is just please don't ever do this to anyone else."

Because I was on the verge of suicide when I found out about him. It still gets me now feeling. And I said, "I don't want you getting hold of someone that hasn't got the support network." But I have, and you ended up with the suicide on your hands, and that was it. And he, at that point, wanted to keep me close, because obviously I'd scared him that I'd found him out. And we were in touch, and I didn't want anything to do with him in a relationship context at that point.

But I still loved him. You can't just shut that off. And so he was then messaging me saying, "You've made me see the light. I know what I've been doing is really wrong, but we're over there." And I want nothing to do with him, but he needs to know if his wife knows what's been going on. I didn't want to damage something.

that we had unprotected sex, I felt that she should have the chance. And it caused his wife and tells her everything.

“The woman listens in silence as Anna described her husband's 14 months of fear.”

I was crying my eyes out when I was telling her, and I just said, "I'm so sorry that I'm part of this." You know, and that I'm having to tell you this. She didn't say, "Word, she just sat in this end." It's not clear how this woman is taking the news. Anna tells her about how he used a famous actor's photo on his profile. And the woman just laughs, like it's some family joke where he says he looks like the actor.

Anna brushes it off. But over the next few weeks, social media makes it clear that this man and his wife are still very much together. Post on Instagram show him performing romantic gestures. Stuff like leaving little notes for her in her handbag. Stuff that Anna had taught him during their relationship. Determined to stop other women going through what she has, in January 2017, Anna goes to the police.

“They just laughed at me and said, "So your boyfriend lied to you. What do you want to do about it?"”

And I was like, "No, I don't think you understand. He's manipulating a whole life. He's living a double life for the purpose of hunting for women to do this.

And they just didn't want to know basically."

Anna tries to explain that this is predatory behavior. And that the entire slimyness of the situation makes her believe she's not the only victim that he's done this before. But they don't listen, so she takes matters into her own hands. She starts a petition calling for cat fishing like this to be made a crime. Sex by deception used to be a criminal offense in the UK.

But back in 2003, the law changed, and it's not anymore.

“I started the petition, and a local journalist said that he'd promote it, and he did.”

And then the national papers picked it up. And within the space of a very short time, it was in all the national papers.

The Daily Mail were the first to run with her. They featured Anna's story,

and with an image of the man's original dating profile with the headshot of the famous actor, the responses immediately. Another woman came forward, that night. And she'd actually been with him the day that the papers had gone to give him why to apply. That's when journalists contact someone to give them an opportunity to respond to allegations before a story is published about them. And he'd then disappeared from WhatsApp.

And she was really confused about what was going on, so she'd been with him since September. The year before. And she said he'd started acting really weird over Christmas.

The second woman's relationship had overlapped precisely with Anna's.

She'd noticed him acting strange over Christmas. Exactly when Anna had discovered his true identity. My story was getting republished, and so many more women started coming forward. And over the next couple of years, I got to the point where I had 12. There was 17 of us now that I know of. 17.

17 women who've all been strong along by the same man. And they're all telling disturbing stories. Earlier victims described what they say were aggressive sexual encounters, and online grooming. Anna learns of two cases involving alleged aggressive rape. Did the police ever take it seriously? Eventually, yeah.

So after two years of fighting and being told by different officers that it's nothing that anyone would ever take seriously. Even when I was going back with the stories of rape, I was then told. Now that sounds more like rape. I said, "So are you going to start investigating? No." And I'm like, really. And others were saying, well, actually, the amount of deceit that was behind and the predatory nature of what he was doing actually means you couldn't give informed consent in the relationship that you were sort of deceived into.

So Anna does something called a subject access request or an SAR request. Where she formally obtains all the personal information that the police have on her. I realized there was a whole lot of BS going on in the emails and things that were there.

Amazing.

“And he was absolutely amazing. I left a message on his own to phone. And within ten minutes he'd phoned me back.”

And he said, "If you've had to go to all this trouble, there must be something wrong." So I'd like to arrange a meeting with you.

Two years after Anna first went to the police. She finally gets a meeting with a senior officer who takes her seriously.

By the end, he's grasped the full story of what's happened to Anna and launches an official investigation into this man. It took three years and three detectives, but they arrested him and they took his devices and they interviewed him and they clicked all the evidence. But after all that work, after all that evidence, the Crown Prosecution Service,

“which decides whether cases in the UK should go to court, makes a devastating decision.”

CPS chucked it all out and said it didn't meet their evidence threshold.

All of those victims with one man and they said it didn't meet their evidence threshold.

Anna is furious but not defeated. While fighting for legal justice, she's been building something else. In 2017, she launches a website called Catch the Catfish, showing everything she's learned about romance fraud and offering support to other victims. I had to make a positive out of something so awful. I had all this stuff and I was like, "What am I going to do with it?"

And I thought I'm going to start social media pages. That's the best place for people to see it. I'm a teacher. I can create posts that are accessible for every body. What began as Anna's personal quest for justice has grown into something much bigger. Her website has helped over 6,000 victims of romance fraud. She now trains police forces, the National Crime Agency, and dating apps like Bumble on recognising and addressing frauds like the one she experienced. Anna's work caught the attention of Cecilia Fielhoi, one of the victims featured on the Netflix documentary The Tindus Windler.

Together, they founded Love Set No, an organisation dedicated to supporting romance fraud victims both emotionally and practically and training professionals.

“What would you say to someone who won't be listening, who sees your story and recognises similar patterns in their own relationship?”

It's really important that we don't give people lists of things to look for because criminals at the end of the day especially the online ones. They will change things over time when they know that we know about them, but the one thing that doesn't change is that feeling that you get. That would be my advice, recognise that feeling, recognise that healthy relationships evolve slowly over time. Anna now dedicates her working life to helping people who are in the midst of a scam, like the one she went through.

I found it very therapeutic, sometimes it's overwhelming because you are reliving. When I speak to victims like myself or whether it's like myself but with money, in person, or whether it's the online fraudsters, our journey of manipulation is the same. And so when someone's telling you their story, it's like hearing your own again and it does bring those feelings back. So it is overwhelming but it's also therapeutic and when you've got so many people saying she's thinking for being our voice, it empowers you to keep going.

Thanks so much to Anna Roe for keeping our girlfriends safe in the terrible and scary world of dating.

If you've enjoyed this conversation, you can find loads more incredible women on our feed.

Do check them out. And please do spread the word and tell your friends about us. We want as many people as possible to be part of the girlfriend's gang. Next time on the girlfriend's spotlight, so chatter exposes the big ball. I want to tell you something, it's a story I want to write today. If it is wrong, I think my career is over.

This season, we're supporting the charity Women Kind worldwide.

“They do amazing work to help women's rights organisations and movements to strengthen and grow.”

If you'd like to find out more or donate to help them secure equal rights for women and girls across the globe, you can go to womenkind.org.uk. The girlfriend's spotlight is produced by novel for iHeart Podcasts. For more from novel, visit novel.ordio. The show is hosted by me and a sinfield. This episode was written and produced by Al Shabani. Our assistant producer is Lucy Carr. Our researcher is Zeyana Yusuf.

The editor is Hannah Marshall, Max O'Brien and Craig Stracken are our executive producers. Production management from Joe Savage, Sri Houston and Charlotte Wolf. Sound design mixing and scoring by Mark Pittum.

Music supervision by Jacob Tyvich, Nicholas Alexander and Anna Sinfield.

Original music composed by Louise Agarstein and Gemma Freeman. The series artwork was designed by Christina Lempool. We'll add Foxstone is creative director of development and special thanks to Katrina Norville, Carrie Lieberman and Will Pearson at iHeart Podcasts, as well as Carly Frankel and the whole team at WME. There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me.

Evil wake up! And the woman saw the murder! Take place by dream at end of Pippo. Anthony DiPippo showed no signs of remorse, appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum. I said I'm not guilty, I'll take it to the grave. Listen to the devil's quarre and the bone valley feed on the iHeart Radio appal podcasts, or whatever you get your podcasts.

“Joy is essential, and it's also elusive, but now.”

There's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, How To Copy. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on air chats. Open your free iHeart Radio app search, Joy 101, and listen now. Joy 101 with Hoda Coffee is presented by CVS.

My husband is at a spa resort with his mistress right now, and I'm calling the hotel to confront them both. Wait a minute, Dakota. She's calling the hotel while they're checked in together. Yeah, that's right, Sophia, and it gets worse. It's fake hate to vacation week on the okay story time podcast, where she caught him buying gifts on Amazon, and then taped the 10 page letter inside his luggage before he flew out. So she planted evidence before he even took off?

And spoiler, Sophia, two years later, karma hits so hard he's calling his ex-wife.

“In tears, saying about his mistress, what a mistake that was.”

To find out what happened, listen to the okay story time podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, it's the Jonas Brothers. If you haven't heard, our new podcast is called Hey Jonas. And this week, we're hanging out with someone we're really big fans of.

Milly, Bobby Brown.

We talk about her new movie in all the home's three family life, and all the amazing things she has going on right now.

Plus, we find out what she really feels about the strange things in it. You have over 60 animals. I don't know whether number 60, and I've really got to figure that out. There have been plenty of sheep in my bed. It's a big bed.

Literally sleeping in the bed. Listen to Hey Jonas on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. My first guest is Karen Colton. Shackida, Luke, and Yerin. Have surprises?

Many surprises. Welcome to the sweet 305 podcasts, where the new check comes to life. What the f***! You're the only person I know that loves the Yala Starbursts. What am I need?

This is sweet 305. Here, oversharing is encouraged. Listen to sweet 305 with Lele Pans on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart podcast. Guarantee human.