The Jamie Kern Lima Show
The Jamie Kern Lima Show

Mel Robbins: Stop Anxiety Now! The Secret That Actually Works to Master Your Fear and Anxiety Today! (RR)

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Struggle with fear and anxiety? Mel Robbins shares her six secret words to help stop it in its tracks! Plus her own journey, and science-backed tools for how she’s gone from panic attacks and anxiety...

Transcript

EN

Struggle with fear and anxiety, Mel Robbins is here on the show with you and ...

Plus, she's sharing her own journey and science back tools for how she's gone from panic attacks and anxiety dominating her days to no longer letting them control her life.

This is an episode you're going to want to share with everyone you know today.

I know so many people struggle with anxiety and you say that there are six magic words to stop anxiety. Yes.

All Robbins, I just have been viewed more than a billion times.

I will tell you what the six words are. So, the six words are so... What will have panic attacks played in your life? Oh my god. So, the thing that we call anxiety is the same thing that we call excitement and I can prove it to you.

I mean, when I say I struggle with anxiety, Jamie, I'm talking crippling anxiety. Do you still feel a panic attack coming on? No, no. No, no. You don't even start to feel the sensation in it.

I feel the sensation is what I understand. So, for example, you take us with that process.

There's a lot of people on varying spots of the journey of handling it in there.

Yeah.

At Harvard Medical School, they studied states of excitement and nervousness.

Physiologically speaking, it's exactly the same thing in your body. Your body doesn't know the difference between being at a Beyonce concert. And talking to your boss about your race. It's the exact same thing. The thing that screws it up for you is your freaking brain.

Because you get your thoughts involved and you're telling yourself that all this normal stuff in your body is evidence that things are bad or scary and they're just not. And what they found at Harvard Medical School by dividing people into control groups is that if you coach people in a situation where you're normally nervous or quote anxious, to say I'm excited, I'm excited to go ask for this race.

I'm excited to share this with the audience. I am excited to run this race. Something interesting happens.

By simply saying I'm excited.

In control group after control group, whether it was running a track race or it was a debate competition

or it was a standardized test. The people who said I'm excited in a situation that made them nervous, outperformed the people who just sat with their nerves, over and over and over again. Melbourne is the host of one of the top ranked podcast in the world. For books on planning motivation and success of sold millions of copies.

One of the most trusted experts in the world on confidence, and she's written three best selling books. New York Times' best selling author and host of the Melbourne's podcast, Life Coach and motivational speaker. And dear friend, who we are so proud of, all you have built and done now.

This is an anxiety masterclass. A panic attack masterclass turned to your friends of a tablet. Guys, I don't know why this is going on, but I've been having these waves of anxiety. I'm having one right now. And when you say it out loud, it feels smaller.

And people tend to reassure you. I notice that you're getting very emotional. Hmm, how come? I am just thinking about how many people listening, and I have so many people in my family this way,

that either don't have access to understand these things, or maybe have it yet. Have some story, they're telling themselves about how they're not sure if they should go get help for what's happening, or maybe they're hiding it. And live with.

And so many of you, I am here to tell you, that if you struggle with anxiety, hiding it, is the worst thing you could do. Unbelievable, there. Unbelievable.

I can't believe the garden. I was just telling them that we saw the roses. Yes, this rose. Where you're here, maybe we're going to take a look. Tell them.

Smell in the roses, no rabbits. That's what it is. What is it? What is it? You're outside.

The stars? The stars? Yes, the stars? Welcome to the Jamie Carlin. And Lima, shall we?

Are you crying? Yeah, crying already. Because, um,

Before we jump into this episode,

I'd love to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews and one-on-one conversations with me and you to help you truly believe in yourself. Trust yourself and know you are enough so that you can become unstoppable

and living your best life. All they want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support.

It's incredible to see your comments and how many of you

are sharing these episodes with everyone else. And I'm just so grateful to be here for you, and I'm so excited to go on this journey with you. So thank you for subscribing. It means so much to me.

Who you spend time around is so important

as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I love to hang out with you even more, especially if you can use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter. That's also a love letter to you,

delivered straight to your inbox, each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jameycurrentlima.com

to make sure you're on the list.

And you'll get your one-on-one with jamey weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools,

joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jameycurrentlima.com or in the link in the show notes.

In life, you don't sort the level of your hopes and dreams

you stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build yourself worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book worthy, how to believe you are enough

and transform your life for you. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, worthy is for you. In worthy, you'll learn proven tools

and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back. Build unshakable self-love. Unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness.

Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness

and step into the person you are born to be?

Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth.

Get your copy of worthy plus some amazing

thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you.

It's time to find out with worthy. Welcome to Jamie Kern Lee Michelle. Oprah, how have you defied the mind? Her show is unlike any I've ever done. A revelation.

When you listen, it feels like a hug but your brain and your spirit and your heart is like, "Wow, the Linda French gates." When I look into Jamie's eyes, I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her.

I could see the light around her. She's infused with light. Imagine overcoming self-doubt learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough.

Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lee Michelle. Jamie Kern Lee Michelle's name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lee Michelle. Jamie Kern Lee Michelle. Jamie Kern Lee Michelle.

Jamie Kern Lee Michelle. Mel Robbins says you can change your life and she will show you how. Mel has one of the most popular podcasts in the world called the Mel Robbins podcast.

She's a New York Times best-selling author. She has seven number one audiobooks on audible billions of views of her videos online and is one of the most respected experts in the world of mindset, motivation and behavior change.

Thanks to her science back tools and relatable advice that has impacted the lives of millions of people who follow her across one hundred ninety four countries. She lives in Vermont with her husband of 26 years Chris and their three kids.

She's also my dear friend. A really great roommate on trips. One of my favorite people to have at slumber parties and the best wedding singer I've ever had the privilege

Of hearing in person.

Mel Robbins, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lee Michelle. I know so many people struggle with anxiety and you say that there are six magic words, six magic words to stop anxiety. Yes.

So the six words are very simple. What if it all works out? What if it all works out? Anxiety presumes that things are about to go wrong. When you use these six magic words,

what if it all works out? A couple interesting things happen.

First of all, it's a question.

What if it all works out? And when you ask yourself the question, your brain stops the spiraling to consider it. Second, what if it all works out? Because you don't know what's going to happen?

It might. I mean, it really might. When you're stuck in an anxiety cycle, your mind is focused on what if it doesn't happen? What if I screw this up?

What if I fail?

What if this is the worst thing that ever happened?

What if this is my one shot? What if that? What if the other thing? And it's that thinking pattern about the worst and bracing for the worst, Amy.

That keeps your alarm of anxiety. That's how I think about anxiety. Anxiety's just on the alarm in your body. That's all it is. It's normal.

It has a purpose.

And if you don't understand the fact that anxiety

is an alarm that has a specific purpose and that it begins in your body and then it kind of triggers certain thinking to scan and look for what's wrong and getting stuck in that,

what if it doesn't work out? What if this happens? What if this person doesn't like me? What if this person doesn't like me? What if this person doesn't like me?

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What if this person doesn't like me? What if this person doesn't like me? What if this person doesn't like me? This might mean that you are having to present some financials at work.

Might just be a meeting or presentation to your boss.

This might mean that it is a pitch that you are going to give to somebody. About the new business that you're trying to launch.

Trying to sell people these skin care products that you like, right?

And so you're going to just meet with a friend and tell them about this new business that you're doing. Presentation. Or it could mean what Jamie and I do. We literally are backstage in an arena.

And we're about to walk on a stage and speak in front of people we have never met for an hour.

In every one of those situations. In order to do your best. Standing in front of your high school classroom. Or giving a presentation to your boss or to a friend about your new business. Or to walk up to a podium and give a speech or to give a toast at a wedding.

What do you feel? Service. Of course. That's the alarm in your body. Why is the alarm coming on?

I'll tell you why. Because you care about what you're about to do. And you want to do a good job and your body knows it. And so your body is trying to get everything in a state where your brain can focus. Where you can make fast decisions.

And where you pay hyper attention. Okay?

So here's what happens in your body.

As your backstage or your about to walk into your boss's office. Or you're walking up to the front of that classroom. Or you're thinking about it, right? Because it's going to happen. First of all.

In that situation. Your body. Need your brain and it needs your heart. And so it is going to pull everything Jamie to your brain and your heart.

Because it wants you to be able to serve the car if you have to.

It wants you to be able to hyper focus so that you can do your best with your boss. Which means all of the blood and the chemistry is moving to your heart and your brain. It's leaving your digestive tract. Because you don't need to be digesting food right now while you're in front of your classroom. You need to be on your best.

You need to be hyper aware. And here's where everybody doesn't understand the science. You know those butterflies that you're getting? It's not because you're fricking nervous. It's because your body's trying to help you.

It's taking the blood from your digestive tract to your brain and to your heart. So you can focus. And Mel Robbins dumbass did not know this until I was 50 years old. I thought the butterflies meant I'm about to screw up. And so the butterflies mean the chemistry is changing in your body.

The reason why you have to pee is because your body's going, Oh, I'm not going to, if I, if I really need to do the right thing, I better not have a full bladder.

That's why you always have to pee or go number two before you give a speech.

Because your body's trying to get rid of the extra stuff so it can send everything to your brain and your heart. So you can do a good job. Doesn't mean you're going to screw up, but we all think it is. And if you know this, you can be backstage like, oh, there it is. Mel's right.

I got to pee. That's funny. Thank you. You're, you're helping me. Oh, my heart's pumping.

Thank you. You're, you're like helping me get my adrenaline flowing so that I can actually perform it. Thank you very much. That doesn't mean I'm nervous. It means I'm excited about this.

And so when you understand that and then you start to go, oh, well, if my thoughts are kind of racing, because all of this adrenaline is pumping through my body because the alarms come in online, then great. Thank you. I'm really excited.

And what if this all works out? And the reason why this is so important, Jamie, is because if you let your thoughts go crazy. And if you pace around backstage at an event,

or you see the fact that you have to go to bathroom so badly right before you're about to talk to your boss,

as a sign that it's going to be horribly wrong, it will go horribly wrong. Because you're letting the natural state of your body, hijack you. And there is fabulous research from Harvard Medical School that I'm going to teach you right now using the five-second rule. Where if you are in a situation where you feel that like, come on,

butterflies in your stomach, armpits are sweating, throat is tight. All you're going to do is this, you're just going to go, oh, I'm really excited. Really excited to give this presentation. I'm really excited. I'm going to talk to my boss.

I'm really excited that I'm going to give this speech. Why? Well, at Harvard Medical School, they studied states of excitement and nervousness. Physiologically speaking, it's the exact same thing in your body.

There's so much more coming up in this episode. You are not going to want to miss it. But first, I wanted to share this with you. In life, you don't sort the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth.

When you build yourself worth, you change your entire life.

And that's exactly why I wrote my new book worthy.

How to believe you are enough and transform your life for you.

If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, worthy is for you. In worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back.

Build unshakable self-love. Unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness. Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them

and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you are born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth.

Get your copy of worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts

for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with worthy.

Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious

and so is self-belief. And I love to hang out with you even more especially if you can use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you.

Deliver straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jameycurrentleema.com to make sure you're on the list. And you'll get your one-on-one with jamey weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you.

If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day you need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jameycurrentleema.com or in the link in the show notes.

And now more of this incredible conversation together.

Your body doesn't know the difference between being at a Beyonce concert

and talking to your boss about your race.

It's the exact same thing. The thing that screws it up for you is your freaking brain. Because you get your thoughts involved, and you start telling yourself that all this normal stuff in your body is evidence that things are bad or scary and they're just not.

And what they found at Harvard Medical School by dividing people into control groups is that if you coach people in a situation where you're normally nervous or quote anxious, to say I'm excited. I'm excited to go ask for this race. I'm excited to share this with the audience.

I am excited to run this race. Something interesting happens. By simply saying I'm excited. In control group after control group, whether it was running a track race or it was a debate competition

or it was a standardized test. The people who said I'm excited in a situation that made them nervous outperformed the people who just sat with their nerves over and over and over again. And there's a reason physiologically speaking why. Because if you get all jacked up in your mind,

oh my god, I'm nervous. I'm going to screw this up.

I'm such I never should have thrown up.

And then you can see that everything starts to ramp itself up because you're now sounding the alarm. You're also pumping cortisol up into your brain. And there's tons of research about the fact that when your nervous system starts to get crazy

because you're making it crazy. And when cortisol floods your brain, it impairs the functioning of your prefrontal cortex. This research from UCLA, Dr. Judith Willis that in order to be able to tap into your preparation

to be able to speak in complete sentences to your boss, you got to make sure your brain is working and by getting yourself all worked up about it going wrong and not understanding the chemistry of your body, you are sabotaging your own brain's ability

to tap into all of the things that you prepared and use them in this moment. This is why people forget what they were going to say when they got on stage. So for someone who maybe there's no reason.

They're not getting ready to do a presentation. They're just hanging out and all the sudden they feel their body starts to feel like a panic attack is coming on. Does this apply in that moment when there's nothing happening?

Do they then tell themselves, "I'm excited.

It's a great question, Jamie, and that was me.

That was me. I lived with that. They call that anticipatory anxiety.

That you start to get these alarms going off

so you're standing in your kitchen making a cup of coffee or you're sitting with friends at lunch and all of a sudden it feels like a semi-truck has just pulled into your lane. And it's terrifying.

And when it starts to happen, I don't want to diminish how scary that is. Because it happened to me for literally decades and I didn't know what I'm telling you. And so the first thing I want to tell you is

this is temporary. You absolutely can do something about this and it is very scary and overwhelming when it's happening to you. So the first thing that I would recommend

is I would 1,000 percent get yourself

to a medical professional, a therapist, a counselor, somebody to help you validate and understand the experience.

And the deeper reasons why this might be happening

and the reasons why it might trigger you. The second thing that I want you to do because the scariest part about that moment is your fear of it and your fear of it makes it worse. And so if you can basically play a game with yourself

or you meet yourself where you are and you say, okay, for whatever reason this is happening, I know that I'm not going to get stuck in this. I'm just scared of it. But what you can do is you can start to say to yourself

there when it happens the next time, there are things I can do to help myself ride the wave that rises and falls. So a number of things that you can do is you can say out loud what's happening.

So turn to your friends if it's happening. Guys, I don't know why this is going on, but I've been having these waves of anxiety and I'm having one right now. And when you say it out loud,

it feels smaller and people tend to reassure you. The other thing that you can do is you can close your eyes. You can put your hand on your chest. You can apply pressure kind of right in the center of your chest. You can take a deep breath.

And then just say, I'm okay. I'm safe. I'm loved. And when you're using this technique,

you're trying to tone what's called the vagus nerve, which is this sort of on-off switch that runs from your seat to the top of your head and acts like a kind of like a switch between your fighter flight nervous system

and your calm, confident nervous system. And the other thing that you can do is literally just say to yourself, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. Those are things to do in the moment.

If you were having this happen all the time, I would honestly re-listen to this over and over and over again so that you really understand what I'm trying to teach you about the connection between the body and the alarm and your thinking. Telling yourself, it's temporary.

Telling yourself, this is going to pass. Telling yourself that you're stronger than this feeling right now.

That will win 1,000 percent help.

And the final thing that I think is really important

for you to understand is I noticed that you're getting very emotional. How come? I am just thinking about how many people listening and I have so many people in my family this way that either don't have access to understand these things

or maybe have it yet. Have some story they're telling themselves about how they're not sure if they should go get help for what's happening or maybe they're hiding it. And I think I'm imagining because you're going so deep and you're also going granular, but we're also taking it to that

very sort of like infancy moment of when this starts. And I know that so many people have this experience in their life but they don't know what to do about it. And maybe they don't know what it is for sure or they do and they're hiding it.

And I think hearing you share this in so many different applications of how it shows up in your life, how you have gone through it

Just even what to do about it when you start to feel it.

Yeah, and I've also made all the mistakes show me.

I mean, let's be honest, like I think about our three kids.

There are periods in two of our kids lies where they slept on the floor of our bedroom for months. Because they were too scared to sleep alone in their room because of anxiety. There are so many things that I missed out on

because I allowed anxiety and the shame that I felt and how much I feared it because I didn't understand it. Yes. To keep me on the sidelines of my life and trapped in a version of myself

that I hated because you tend to turn the you aim it all back at yourself. And a lot of my message is about being able to look at yourself and take responsibility for the things that you no longer want to deal with. And live with.

And so many of you, I am here to tell you that if you struggle with anxiety, hiding it is the worst thing you could do. And it is not a disease.

It is a coping mechanism that has spiraled out of control

and become a default. And there are medications that can help you climb out of the hole. Like one thing that I would say for me personally is when I was having cascading panic attacks,

I was a second year law student.

And I went to see this psychiatrist because I literally Jamie felt this feeling. The anxiety was so bad that I would wake up every morning and I would stare at the ceiling and I would be in a full body panic attack.

And I was so what's called disassociated from myself, which means you can feel your body, but I would have this experience of being up above myself. Like I would have left my body, like not even attached. So I'm experiencing this huge weight and panic and dread

and all this like racing heart. And I'm up above it. I don't understand it. I'm scared to death. I would wake up and little be like, oh my god, it's here again.

And the first decision I would make would be to let a cigarette. And then I would race around my apartment and get dressed and then I would drive to law school. Pan-extricant.

That the closer I got to the campus, the more those butterflies turned into terredactals. Because I was about to walk into a classroom where I was not prepared. And my breakfast was a gigantic cup of coffee

from Dunkin' Donuts this big. So I'm now hammering nicotine and caffeine into my body. Why? Because I don't understand this. I don't understand that what you eat can help that whether or not you're exercising can help.

Taking care of yourself by prioritizing actually studying instead of just drinking at night because you're trying to quiet things. Like all these things play a role, which is good because it means if you start to understand

that this is just something that is normal that started to spiral out of control and you can find your way back to yourself but you have to decide you want to. And so I went to see this psychiatrist

and one of the funny things happens because he diagnosis me with a panic disorder and meaning that everything was misfiring. That's all that it means. Like you know when you have like a,

you walk into a room and the lights are blinking.

Here's what we know in the lights are blinking.

Somewhere behind the walls, there's a kink in the wires that somebody needs to smooth out. And the same is true with a panic disorder or anxiety that somewhere in your body in your nervous system

there's a little kink in the wire. That's not permanent,

but that's why things feel like they're blinking.

And there are things that you can do whether it's putting your hand on your heart that just for a minute smooth that out. Not hammering caffeine and nicotine and alcohol helps smooth it out.

For a long time I didn't know, do you know what the number one symptom of a hangover is anxiety? A lot of a strength at night because we want to quiet the anxiety

and then we wake up in the anxiety's worse. Why? Because while you are processing the alcohol in your freaking body, the drop and the change in the chemical structure

in your brain freaking creates anxiety. And then we don't know that. So we're caught in this loop and you're like, why would I stop drinking? It's the only reason why I don't feel anxious.

But then I wake up and I feel more anxious.

I'm in this loop.

So I'm sharing all of this

because I was stuck in all of this too. But the big message here is you're not alone. It is temporary. You absolutely can make this better

and it can get better way faster than you think

because it's spiraled out of control way faster than you think. So we can get you in an upward spiral way faster than you think. But none of this changes without doing something. And the other final piece that I will that I want to share about this

is that and I think it's really important because it'll be very validating. I wouldn't be surprised if you told me. And yes, I'm talking to you listening or watching.

That your anxiety's gotten way worse and the last couple of years.

And I'm going to tell you why it did.

The reason why it's gotten way worse is because we collectively on a global level lived through an unprecedented amount of change involving the pandemic and volatile political issues

and wars and social justice and all kinds of stuff. And we are not designed as human beings to sustain that level of uncertainty and constant change.

And if you will just do me a favor and think back to the moment when you're like, oh man, like we're in lockdown.

Like those phases where we're bringing gross reason

or leaving them outside and like we had no idea what the heck was going to happen and the street street. Like we want to put that in the rear view mirror. I want to tell you something.

Your body hasn't. Remember that moment at work where all of a sudden you were on zoom calls from seven o'clock in the morning to 11 o'clock at night?

Most people have not stopped that yet. Most companies had an alarm response to all the change because they needed to. So did you? Nobody has taken a conscious step

since then to flip that alarm off. What I'm trying to tell you is there would be something wrong with you if the lights weren't blinking inside you right now.

Because it is impossible for any human being

on this planet to experience what we've all experienced

without having the wiring in your body go, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. And it happened. It's real. And you need to do something about it

and what you need to do about it is A. Look in the mirror. Recognize that you have just gone through a situation where you needed to be on edge. You needed to live kind of in a state of alarm.

And next you need to say, I don't want to live like that anymore. And now what there is to do is it's called nervous system regulation, which means getting serious

about common your body down. And there's a bazillion ways you can do that. Taking a 10 minute walk outside without headphones in without your social media on that can help you calm your body down.

Meditating in the morning. Help you calm your body down. Jumping in a cold plunger for most people since you don't have access to that. Jumping in a river or finishing your shower

with cold water. And the reason why that matters is because when you are in a yummy awesome shower, right? And you crank that dial from hot to cold.

What happens in your body? Your body sounds the alarm. I'm like, what the hell are you doing? This sucks. I don't want to be in this.

Your nervous system is like, move, let's go, this blows. And by standing in the shower for 30 seconds and breathing through that. And getting to a point where your nervous system

in the alarm can come on. But you're like, not today. I'm just going to stand here until you people calm your jets down. Because I'm not going to let that part of me.

That on edge part of me run today. I am going to win this battle.

And the second you feel yourself

go from like, ah, to calm. You now just shut your nervous system off. Not off. But you flipped off the fighter flight and you stepped into calm.

And that's how you can do it. Wow. This is an anxiety masterclass of panic attack masterclass.

I love what you said.

And I just want to reiterate it. If this resonates for you, listening or watching us,

go back and rewatch it over and over and over and share it.

Share it with someone who needs to hear this. You can change someone's life today by doing this. You have one more thing to add to that. I have something so important. This is the biggest mistake I made.

Yes. Biggest mistake I made with anxiety.

I won 1,000 percent and responsible for making

my children's anxiety worse. Because I wanted to get rid of it for them. And the research about this is very, very clear. That when you have somebody in your life who is anxious. And you allow the anxiety to win.

So they come to you. It's the middle of the night. They're scared to death. They don't want to be in their rooms. Every time you let them in your bed or in my case,

I let them sleep on the floor for months and months and months. You know, little sleeping bag, little bed. We just started making the bed.

The message you are sending to them is the anxiety is real

and you can't handle it.

Instead, you have to support them in feeling the discomfort

and letting it rise and fall. So you walk them back up to their room. And you say, I know that this is really difficult. But you know what? This feeling is temporary.

And I'm going to sit right outside. And I'm going to wait for you to fall asleep. But you can do this. You're stronger than this. And what you're doing when you send that message and you give them that level of support

is you are letting them learn how to face the difficult things in their life and see themselves getting through it. And I made it so much worse because when anxiety would rise up, I would literally let my kids up out. And in doing so, the anxiety becomes the reaction to anything that is scary.

And every time you opt out a life because you feel nervous or anxious, that becomes your default. And this is the opportunity that you have with yourself that when it rises up, try not to opt out. Try to lean in.

Try to say, oh, interesting. Here's that alarm. I actually know what this is. I know that this is going to pass.

I know if I just stay calm and I keep saying, what if it works out?

What if this does pass? What if I can get better? What if I don't have to live like this? And slowly but surely because your thoughts are stabilizing your state, your nervous system will take the cue.

Mel Robbins. I love you. I am grateful for our friendship. I am so proud to call you my friend. I love you.

I love you. Thank you. I have one more thing to share with you, but before I do, you got value out of this episode.

My only ask is that you please share it. Share it with another person in your life who can benefit from it. Post it and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today.

You never know whose life your meant to change today by sharing this episode.

And thank you so much for joining me today. And before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You right now exactly as you are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes. You're wildest dreams and all the unconditional love in the world.

And it is an honor to welcome you to each episode of the Jamie Kernley Michelle. Here, I hope you'll come as you are. Heal where you need, blossom what you choose. Journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy, you are loved, you are love and I love you.

And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode. This is the Jamie Kernley Michelle. In life, you don't sort the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth.

When you build yourself worth, you change your entire life.

And that's exactly why I wrote my new book worthy.

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If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, worthy is for you. In worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results. Like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back. Build unshakable self-love. Unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness.

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Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth.

Get your copy of worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below.

Imagine what you do if you fully believe in you. It's time to find out with worthy. Do you struggle with negative self-talk?

Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting.

I know because I spent most of my life in that habit.

The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful and when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life-changing.

And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life. It's called five ways to overcome negative self-talk and build self-love. And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life when filled with self-love, resilience and unwavering belief.

If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at JamieCurnleema.com/resources or click the link in the show notes below. It's such an honor to share this podcast together with you and please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

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