Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life! (RR)

and stop letting the things you can't control control you. My amazing friend and yours to the incredible Trent Shelton is here today on the show to teach us how this is an episode. You're going to want to share with everyone you know today.

You will always be not enough for the wrong people, our person.

We build relationships these days. I feel like, off of the weakest things. And no wonder when we go through trials and tribulations, things crumble, if you don't demand your worth, the world will tell you what your worth is. And last time I checked, that's not a good price tag.

Now, usually put your own wholesale. You say to have peace, you have got to stop letting the things you can't control.

“You can control you, you're Trent Shelton, how do we do that?”

Trent Shelton, we're going to get it. We're going to get it. There's this constant battle I believe every single day for our worth, for our peace, for our sanity, for our happiness, for our joy. Ready to learn about protecting my peace, ready to learn.

How are you doing? You're good. Yeah. You're learning to do what you just said. Like smiling for the camera, but dying behind the scenes.

Yeah. So many people can relate to that. In all various ways, people who are not public figures, but they show up and put on a smile and put, you know, be their representatives, you'd be the person they think they need to be or the person that people are expecting them to be.

And they're not, because they're not showing up as if they truly have them to clear. They are literally dying behind the scenes, like hiding in plain sight, feeling more lonely than ever and more disconnected than ever. I know where that leads. There's no amount of perfection you can give to a person that's committed to misunderstanding you. But once you free yourself from those things and you experience the freedom of fully being yourself,

and people fully loving you for yourself.

You'll never go back to being something that you're not, to please, though.

You said, "Haters are just confused supporters." "Haters are just confused supporters." "Can you explain that?" What do you do if you don't want to be alone? And you don't know how to make new friends as an adult, and you don't want to be all alone.

But then you feel like sometimes the people around you bring this sort of like toxicity.

“The solitude is necessary. Sometimes you have to learn how to be by yourself,”

so God can shape what being perfectly loved, it was like. And what happens if you try to save a person drowning, they're so frantic, they will fool you under, and both people will drown. And so you have to trust that some people have to learn how to save themselves. Our review is to lose myself trying to change people.

And some of us we can't keep peace in our life, because we're spending our whole entire life trying to change people. And people aren't going to change until they're ready to change. That's a big, aha moment. So I want to tell everybody listen to this man, like stop losing yourself, trying to please strangers on the internet.

I don't know if I know a single person who doesn't struggle with this. I'm worthy, because a aha created me and sees me, not how this world views me,

not by a blue checkmark, not by 16 million people following me online.

I was already worthy before birth, just like you. I was given the worth at my birth. I was given the worth at my birth. So it's special.

“And when I talk about being guided, that's what I mean.”

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It's incredible to see your comments and how many of you are sharing these episodes with everyone else and I'm just so grateful to be here for you and I'm so excited to go on this journey with you. So thank you for subscribing. It means so much to me. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more especially if you can use an

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just go to jameykherlinema.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with jamey weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jameykherlinema.com or in the link in the show notes. In life, you don't sort the level of your hopes and dreams you stay stuck at the level of your

self-worth. When you build yourself worth, you change your entire life and that's exactly why I wrote my new book worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some

“self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, worthy is for you. In worthy, you'll learn proven tools”

and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love. Unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truth that wake up worthiness. Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you are born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable

self-worth. Get your copy of worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com

or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with worthy. Welcome to Jamie Kern, Lima show. Oprah, how have you defied the behind? Her show is unlike any I've ever done. A revelation. When you listen, it feels like a hug but you're brain and your spirit and your heart is like, wow, the Linda French gates. When I look into Jamie's eyes, I feel like I am on

some other cosmic level with her. I could see the light around her. She's infused with light. Imagine overcoming self-doubt, learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough. Welcome to the Jamie Kern, Lima show. Jamie Kern, Lima's her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern, Lima and the life. Jamie Kern, Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern, Lima.

I am so excited to welcome Amanda the show who's going to speak to your soul. He reaches over

60 million people weekly through his hard hitting videos and soul-filling words. He's a renowned

mindset specialist and self-worth mentor. You know that's my language. He's a former NFL player, host of the podcast straight up with Trent Shelton. He's a New York Times best-selling author of multiple books and he has a brand new book, Protect Your Peace. Nine, unapologetic principles for thriving in a chaotic world. If right now in your life, you are letting things you can't control control you. If right now in your life you're dealing with anxiety or fear or grief or loss

and you're looking for hope and peace and tools that you can implement into your life right now

“to get them, then I am so glad you are here because you are in the right place and I believe”

there are no coincidences. My dear friend Trent Shelton, he travels the world,

speaking to Pact Arena's and inspiring audiences with his powerful messages full of wisdom and

courage and I feel so beyond blessed and grateful that he is here today with you and me. Trent Shelton, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Jamie, thank you so much. That was like the best self-esteem boost ever. I'll appreciate you. And all true. Thank you. All true. What a gift you are here. I am just so great. I am excited for that person listening right now and watching us on this episode. I'm just excited. So thank you for being here and right off the top, I just want to ask you,

Trent Shelton, how do we do that? It's tough. First you have to have a reality check with yourself and understand that because what I've noticed in my own life, being doing this 15 years that most people when it comes to that worth or how they feel, it's connected to something outside of them, whether it's people's opinions, whether it's the job, whether it's whether whatever it may be. And there's this constant battle I believe every single day for our worth, for our peace,

for our sanity, for our happiness, for our joy. And that constant battle is between the

external and the internal. So always tell people, you know, ask yourself a simple question,

“can I control this? If you can't control, you have to let it go. And I love to say,”

I will control what I can and pray about what I can. And I have to leave it in God's hands and to be real jaming that's hard sometimes. Because as human beings, we want to have so much control over things. And if we feel like we don't have control, there's stress and anxiety, but I've learned to let it go. I've learned to trust even when I don't understand. And that's been the driving force in my life and keeping my peace. So I would just simply tell that person,

ask yourself, can I control this? And if you can't let it go and trust that everything's going to work out. Hmm, whew, what are your tips for doing that? Because I'll tell you sometimes, I'm like, okay, I know I can't control this, but I really want to figure out how to control this. Yeah. And I think it's funny. There's one of my favorite quotes is actually by 50 cent that there's a thing by his grandma that says either pray or worry, but don't do both.

For sure. And most of my life, I'm like, oh, but I do both, right? I'm like praying about it. And then I still worry, as if I can somehow do anything about it, or as if I'm not trusting God, right? And so in your journey, like, how have you learned to do that? And are you at a place now, where you can go, can I control this? I can't. And then you just let it go. And how do you do that? Do you just decide or how, how do you do that? Yeah, I just realized in my life, the experience,

like the things that I've tried to control that I can't control. And a lot of that has been

people. And I don't always want to talk about that. But a lot of it has been people, how people

feel about me, what people say, the internet, all the algorithm, Lord, all these things outside of me. And what I realize is that I'm just driving myself crazy. And for a lot of people, just what I believe in my faith is that a lot of us, we want to be behind the driver, the steering wheel of our life.

“We want to be able to control everything. The truth is in life you can't, you can't control the”

experiences. You can't control your tomorrow. You can influence it. You can do your best to put yourself in the best positions. I have the greatest things happening for your life. But the truth is, and I know you know this, I've done everything right and things have still went wrong. And I say wrong, but really, it's just not the right for my life at that time. And so I've learned to say, you know what, Trent, get out the driver seat of your life and put God there.

And where God takes you, sometimes it don't make sense. You question it. But always say this quote,

God will allow you to go through places you don't understand just to bring to the place where you need you to be. So when I look over my life, that's where the trust comes from. That's where my faith comes from. It doesn't come from knowing what tomorrow brings. It comes from knowing that God has had my back time after time again. And that's hard, right? Because sometimes you lose people, you lose things. And you want these things back in your life. Sometimes it's loved ones. But I've learned

to have patience and faith and saying, if it's not for me, then it's just not for me. And that's so hard at times when it's things that you love. But I prioritize my peace over everything now. And that's definitely, that's helped my life. So I would tell the person prioritize your peace and learn over time that everything is working out for your good. And I know that seems super motivational and inspirational, but it's the truth. Everything is working for you. And that's the truth that

I stand by and live by. Isn't it so true that, like, if we could control everything, we wouldn't need faith? Exactly. What's the point of it? Yeah. Yeah. Millions of people inspire by your words every single day just to read a couple quotes. They say that you are hope for people who feel hopeless, crunch, shelter, and that you create content that is a light for someone in their darkest times. And you just help so many people take the things that they're going through

“and help them turn them into the things they make it through. Yeah. And I think a lot of that is”

because of the things you've made it through. Yeah. So can you just share a little bit and I know

those things because it helps people feel less alone and more enough and then it helps them go through it as well. So can you talk about your journey just to turning the things you've go through into the things you make it through? Yeah. I made a commitment when I first started,

like 2009 and when it really got really in 2011 and I made a commitment that I would always be a voice

for people to let them know that everything they're going through can soon turn everything they made it through. And I wanted to be an example of that and I didn't want to just be a one-trick pony where it's like I'm telling you these things but I'm not letting you know what I'm going through

“and yeah I go through a lot just like every human being and I remember making a promise to my best friend”

while I started doing what I do that committed suicide and I told him that I would be the voice for people who need one and I would be the shoulder lean on for people who need one and that was very difficult for me because again I'm an introverted person when I started this it wasn't like the popular thing to do at that time but I knew that there were so many people out there that thought that they were broken and so for me being vulnerable and transparent

I led to my transformation and I want to let people know that it's okay to go through things it's okay to share things it's not going to hurt your brand it's okay to admit that you're going through a struggle because that's relatable you know I can inspire people with my things I can inspire people with the house or the car or I'm telling you all these numbers which that's a part of it too but I wanted to be able to impact people with my heart and say I want you to experience my heart

and I want you to feel this connection and I want you to see a human in me this human that can rise above this human that can conquer this human that can overcome because if you can see that helping me then hopefully you can see that helping yourself and so that's why I'm so open and transparent and Jamie it's just hard to just do this smile when I'm dying inside I just can't do it it just takes too much energy so I would rather say hey y'all I'm depressed right now you know

doesn't mean that my life is over I'm going through a storm but I promise you I will get through it because no storm lasts forever but I'm going through it I'm climbing this mountain with you I'm not the mountain top saying hey this is how you get up here no I might have been there but every year in my life through something because I'm a human I come back down to the valley

“and I'm with you climbing this mountain with you so I think that's what's helped me”

connect with so many people across the world and honestly that's what's helped me be able to

continue on this journey because if I'm carrying all this emotional baggage and as I always say

smiling for the camera but dying behind the scenes I know where that leads you know I know people in my life that are no longer here because of that and so I refuse to be what the world wants me to be and lose myself I refuse to be who the world wants me to be and not keep peace in my life so for me this is the easiest thing for me to do is to say this is what I'm dealing with so the last what three years you know I'm a good this year but 2021 2022 was some of the worst years in my life

you know I mean my mom in that whole situation and then my a situation a few days later my grandmother gone and then my dad's best friend who was a mentor in my life a few months later then

the next year I I ruptured my Achilles and I always had to get my leg like my foot literally

almost cut off and it's back to back to back to back to back and yeah a question God yeah I was like what's going on yeah I had to still be this person for the world but I gave myself grace to say you know what it doesn't make me less it doesn't make me less of a human doesn't make me less of an expert it doesn't make me less of a brand because I'm dealing with things actually this strength isn't and I had so many people say man Trent because of you these last three years

you have impacted me more than anything over the last 12 years that you've been doing this so

“that's why I do it what you just said like smiling for the camera that dying behind the”

yeah so many people can relate to that I'm sure like in all various ways people who are not public figures but they show up and put on a smile and put you know be they're represented to be the person they think they need to be or the person that people are expecting them to be and they're not because they're not showing up as who they truly authentic we are they are literally dying behind the scenes like like hiding in plain sight and feeling more lonely than ever

they show up as who they truly are they will lose love they won't be accepted they'll no longer belong they'll be judged and I know you know all the data and all the studies show that if we are not only authentically ourselves we cannot have a true connection with another human being and it's so

“easy to believe the lie that I want connections I'm going to be the person I think I need to be”

but then we are lonely or more disconnected than ever so for the person who needs maybe words of wisdom or inspiration or advice or tips on how do you because you've done it you do it every single day right you see these are you Trent Shelton on a pedestal people of a Trent Shelton on a pedestal oh he's crashed in every area of his life and you're saying oh this is who I am I'm in the valley and going through these hard times I'm you know dealing with depression I'm

all the different things like you have been so brave right to be who you are and you're saying that is why so many people connect with you right and and I think about you know I think about all the people I think are the most impactful in the world and I think that they do that in various ways

“but how do you get the courage to do that for the person listening right now who's saying”

Trent if they really knew who I was if they really knew all the things I'm going through maybe they wouldn't hold me in such a steam anymore maybe I wouldn't be invited anymore maybe I wouldn't

be included anymore the first thing I want to say is that's not your people then you will always

be not enough for the wrong people our person always and I know sometimes that's hard because we want to fit in we want to blend in but you got to accept that certain doors have to close and when you're your authentic self some doors will close friends family peers it closes and you can't know it hurts but you got to realize there's a better doors for your life and I know that's easier said than done I get it because I was there and I still go there at times but I trust to say okay

“if I know changes the relationship the net relationship isn't for me if me been a lot my authentic”

self changes the relationship the net relationship isn't for me and yes it still hurts yes I want these people in my life yes I want to be enough but I learned this a long time ago Jamie there's no

amount of perfection you can give to a person that's committed to misunderstanding you you'll never

be perfect for the wrong people even your perfection will be not enough so at some point they're going to find the real you and so my biggest fear is people fall in love with this version of trench Shelton that's not authentic they love me for something and I'm truly not I don't want to do that because at some point the real me is going to show up the the messy me the mistake me the failure me is going to show up like what do you mean who's this guy and so if you can't love me at my

worse doesn't mean that you you allow me to live a life that that you know that I shouldn't be living right but if you can't love me at my worse then I don't want you loving me at my best because the truth is every human being and I want to say this earlier about going to church and being judged

never let the imperfections of man or woman keep you from the perfection of God never let the

imperfections of man or woman this world etc keep you from the perfection of God and that has helped me so much in my life because when I'm getting judged I'm like oh that's an imperfect person judging me I feel sorry for them that they're projecting their flaws and insecurities on me and so again if I'm not enough for you great thank you release me let me go on something else and when we're tethered and connected to something I'll talk about this in the book you got a disconnect

often the things that you're connected to are powering you so some of us we're connected to stress we're connected to all these things and we're connected to uh man our insecurities and I say cut the connection pull the plug disconnect from those things and it's hard to go pull the plug when you realize that man once I pull the plug I'm free in myself and it's nothing better in this world Jamie than being able to be you and being accepted for you so I know doors have closed because

I'm not a version of professional that maybe the world doesn't want but I'm okay with that

I can sleep in light I'm okay I can lay my head down and say you know what I'm the best version of myself I might not be them they him or her but I'm me and I'm okay with that and so I think it takes time to be able to build that confidence but once you free yourself from those things and you experience the freedom of fully being yourself and people fully loving you for yourself

you'll never go back to being something that you're not to please them so that's what I would say

one thing I just thought of that you say that I love so much and I just have to bring it up because I'm thinking of the one person listening who is just struggling with the haters they see online or the comments that they get or they finally decided to post their art or their ideas or any part of themselves out there and then someone from 25 years ago in high school made some rude comment on their

“Facebook or their Instagram and you once said Trent Shelton and I will never forget this I think about this”

all the time you said haters are just confused supporters haters are just confused supporters can you explain that so good so good yeah so number one like if you don't want to be hating on

you know and there's a beautiful quote on blitzering it but you know say nothing be nothing do nothing

if you don't want any type of judgment or anything so at least I look at somebody hating on you as you're getting attention and you have to understand this like some people aren't haters they're confused supporters and what I mean by this we look at the word hate it's such a strong word but you don't pay attention to things that you hate certain foods like ranch dressing I don't pay attention to ranch because I hate it I don't want to sell it more alone I don't even look at the

ranch right because I hate it you don't pay attention to things that you hate so if somebody is

“following your page if somebody knows you're every move if somebody is making a fake profile”

right after you block one profile that is not hate that's admiration they just have prod and ego so it might be a little bit of jealousy and envy there but actually they really support you and in these days I would just tell you this if somebody's hating on you let it be maybe you restrict them on Instagram but they're answering engagement they're actually helping you so the more you get out of oh this

is about me and stop taking a personal it's a them thing I've never met a happy hater have you

I've never met somebody who is happy with their life and loving their life worried about somebody else and what they're doing so just understand that paying you attention at least you're doing something that's worth attention so keep doing it you talk a lot about being able to identify when you have people that are not right in your life whether they're bringing talks this to the around you can you talk about that because a lot of people you know feel like I don't know

these friends are really for me but I'm gonna go to the thing anyway or if I'm in the right relationship or in the right friendship talk about especially when it comes to protecting your peace what do you do if you don't want to be alone and you don't know how to make new friends as an adult and you don't want to be alone but then you feel like sometimes the people around you bring this sort of like toxicity I definitely can identify with my introverted self so it's hard because I'm not the guy

that's gonna you know I'm not the the god is gonna start conversation like I'm just I'm laid back I'm chilled so I understand how somebody can feel like man if I lose these friends that I know aren't my friends then I'm not gonna have anybody in my life and I just gotta be real sometimes the road is is lonely sometimes I only like say isolation but solitude is necessary

“sometimes you have to learn how to be by yourself so god can shape what being perfectly love feels like”

I've learned how to love myself at my rock bottom when all my friends left not all of them because somebody'd be listening a few was there but I learned how to love myself when I lost my career when I lost the beautiful things that's around it my life I lost a lot of people that I did things for and so the thing that I would tell the person listening is watching it is is with the people around you number one would you trade places with them not just financially

but like mindset wise minds it's our contagious so if I don't want to trade a mindset with you I don't want to trade a life with you not talking about the the things but who you are at your core your core character if I don't want to trade that what you are you around and everybody around you isn't bad but everybody around you isn't good for your journey and so you have to be able to

disrespecting you you set boundaries in a disrespect your boundaries over and over and over

“if they've handed you the scissors so you might have to cut the relationship off or don't complain about”

the things you aren't willing to change and so for me in my life I had to go up a mountain I was just in where is that place I wasn't skiing because I can't ski flag stuff I wasn't Arizona that what is called snowbow and we were driving up the mountain at the base of the mountain it was no snow so I'm driving like high people skiing but as we got higher it got colder snow was there it got less crowded and it reminded me of hiking mountains everybody at the base of the

mountain it's crowded but the higher you go the longer it gets the higher you go the colder it gets and so for some of you it's getting colder in your life because you're going higher for some of you it's getting a little bit lonely in your life because people who started with you aren't gonna have the perseverance the grind the work ethic the faith to finish with you

and the journey will always reveal what's real and who's real in your life and so it doesn't make

them bad but everybody isn't meant to go with you and that breaks my heart because it's people I

“cared about it's people I've tried to help you have to learn how to let people go because I've”

tried to help people so much and my dad told me this he said Trent people will bring you down fast so you can bring them up I know you want to yeah I know you want to say people that's not your job roast I plan God you're not there to say people because I don't live if you ever I'm almost drowned before in real life and what happens if you try to save a person drowning they're so frantic they will pull you under and both people will drown and so you have to trust that

some people have to learn how to save themselves I'm all for throwing out the booey I'm all for throwing out the life jacket but at some point you have to learn how to do for yourself because our fuse to lose myself trying to change people and some of us we can't keep peace in our life because we're spending our whole entire life trying to change people and people aren't going to change until they're ready to change so for me my whole thing is here you go God is yours here you go

“this person that I believe so much in that I'm giving all their advice and I know you probably”

I know you can relate all their advice and they're not taking it here you go God this person that I want to help and then I want to be helped here you go God and I hand them over to God and it gives more peace in my soul so that is helped me tremendously in this journey because I care so much about people and I don't want to feel guilty for not doing the things that they want to appreciate no more hmm isn't that so true that you just cannot change someone who does not

want to change for sure changes the inside job right and on our growth journey we're all in different journeys in our life but I just see this over and over and over again I have a little sister who is a half step sister and then we found out I'm adopted long story but she is my sister she is my sister and she's on this whole journey in her life and you know it can be hard when she's like why don't you know she wants everyone else to hop on this journey with her

and understand or go to therapy too or you know all of these things and it's like it's so hard when we want people to come along not ride with us and to think that somehow they should and to learn not less and that that you can't change anyone they have to want to change and that's a beautiful that is a beautiful perspective like you do what you can and then you say here God absolutely hmm so that you're free and on that journey just to add this as you're climbing that

mountain or going on that journey you will meet like mindsets they might not look like how you think them and look at it friends in my life that some of our friends and peers I'm like how did this connection even happen like we're totally different lifestyles and but you

you realize like mindsets will always find so as you're going your journey yeah it might be a

little bit lonely at first but I promise you as you keep moving forward you'll find your people but you just gotta stay true to the path hmm I love what you said they will hand you the scissors yeah they will hand you their scissors and a lot of times I have to tell you I've had people hand me the scissors many times and I'm still like oh no no I don't want to abandon you and I don't cut that's right I don't cut and and it has been a journey a journey of learning like oh no no I'm

actually worthy of you know people who love me how I love them or show up for me we

thing yourself I think it affected every part of my life I mean when I was when I was you

know running at Cosmetics with her 1,000 employees while I have a million weaknesses one of them

and and some strengths one of those weaknesses is I would not fire people soon enough even when I knew like even when they deserved it and I would meet other CEOs who would say to me like the second you know someone is like bringing the toxic energy to the environment or of course doing something really really wrong but the second you know they're even bringing that bad energy like it's contagious it will take a culture down it will infect everyone else and I knew that

and still because of my own issues I didn't understand fully yet of not believing I was worthy of things I didn't want to abandon anyone else and so I would hang on to people for way too long

and it was on it was wild it says you said it inside job it was me learning to believe

what I'm worthy of and that oh I can't change a person and and that was when I got better at firing I'm 100% with you with that yeah yeah it started it starts there's a beautiful quote and it's a rapper named nipsy also rest in peace and I don't know if it's his quote but he said talk about this in the book he said uh would you rather be at peace with yourself when at war with the world would you rather be at war with yourself and at peace with the world and every time

you're choosing them over you by not cutting things off or firing somebody that you know needs to be fired you started war with yourself every time you say yes when you want to say no

“you need to say no you're starting to war with thing yourself so I got tired of”

starting wars with them myself and one of my hardest things was speaking my peace and my dad said trend if you don't speak your peace how can you protect your peace and I said wow you're right and so I've chose to be at peace with myself and no matter what comes with that sometimes it comes with you know worry and guilt because not to kind of fast war but the main principle in the book or number one is set boundaries

and a lot of us don't set boundaries because of two reasons we worry or we have guilt we worry what people are going to say we worry about the ribbuttal or we have guilt that

I'm leaving this person behind or I should always be there for them so we don't set boundaries

but I like to always say in this change in my life when it can to protect my peace is boundaries aren't laws boundaries are bridges hmm most people thing boundaries are this wall that keeps things out no boundaries are there to let the right things in and so yes I've had to set boundaries they only become walls when somebody disrespects it over and over and over again then that boundary becomes a wall I can allow you access in my life or I can to be around this

environment because it's toxic so I would ask the person that's listening to this is like

“if you want peace in your life or what you need in your life what boundary do you need to set”

what bridge do you need to set that's going to lead you to what you need and so that's helped me so much by saying one of my main principles is I am going to keep peace in my life and I'm not going to start a war with them myself and I'm not going to worry about who feels it's starting away I'm not going to worry about the private conversation and that'll become public information and you know the talks behind the backs and oh trends like this and I'm not worried about that no

more because I'm choosing to keep my peace because a life without peace is nothing and so yeah I want to share that because I know a lot of people are starting wars within themselves they're carrying these internal battles and wars and they're driving themselves crazy stressed out burnt out depression because they won't say their peace or they won't set that boundary this is a huge huge huge thing right here uh so many of us are raised to be people plezers

we are raised to be people plezers we also just want 11 belongings so we are afraid like what you said just set a boundary right because exactly what you said I want to I'm going to talk about this a lot but the book protect your peace nine unapologetic principles for thriving in a chaotic world so we are going to link this of course in the show I hope everyone goes and picks it up this is the thing

“right when I think about the things that matter right so I wrote worthy of like that matters”

this matters I think about what you just said Trent and I don't know if I know a single person who doesn't struggle with this like I'm thinking of every person in my life and every stage of

struggles with this that and I've never heard it said this way the way you just described it that

“you know when we we choose someone else to make them happy it's almost like betraying”

ourselves like creating a war within ourselves and there's going to be so many people that are listening right now but but for the person hearing you saying this who's realizing okay well I thought I was just making everyone else happy by being a people plezer or I thought I was just you know trying to keep the peace around me not realizing that that actually comes at the price of the peace within me hmm that's a big aha moment like you're kind of making the

decision at every moment am I going to make the outside happy and as you said start a war within myself that's right there's so much more coming up in this episode you are not going to want to miss it but first I wanted to share this with you in life you don't sort the level of your hopes and dreams you stay stuck at the level of yourself worth when you build yourself worth you change your entire life and that's exactly why I wrote my new book worthy how to believe you

are enough and transform your life for you if you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill worthy is for you in worthy you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back build unshakable self love unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are

worthy of them and so much more are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you are born to be imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth get your

copy of worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the

show notes below imagine what you do if you fully believed in you it's time to find out with

“worthy who you spend time around it's so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief”

and I love to hang out with you even more especially if you can use an extra dose of inspiration which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter but it's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me if you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week just go to jameychronyma.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with jamey weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you

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in the show notes and now more of this incredible conversation together that is a whole different way to

see things and then that war just starts to spiral into all different ways absolutely it's I think a lot of people are afraid jamey to let people down yes when you should be afraid to let the most

“important person down in your life is yourself so every time you are choosing not to set”

a boundary or not to say no when you are even say yes on the flip side you might say yes to something else and you're so afraid to let people down you're letting yourself down over and over and you get to that point where that war inside you becomes stress you become disconnected you become you lose the vibrancy of life and it's like man and I'm going to say this and this is kind of a curve ball but I talked about this other day on my social media because the thing that I

see to it's social it's not even like the people the people around you like some of us we don't want to let down strangers on the internet and I literally posted this other day I said the people that you don't want to let down the people you're trying to smile for the camera down behind the scenes or whatever it is those people will not be at your funeral and losing mom like

grain so I'm like okay like I get it now and I'm I'm I'm saying everybody who you're starting

to war with in yourself is not going to support your be there for you but I saw that and so I'm like

“I'm not living for to please I call in the book professional people pleaseers that's what we”

are triple peace we want to please and a lot of the pleasing comes from the we put our worth and be in need it so much and we don't feel like we're pleasing people oh I'm not needed so if I'm not needed I don't have value and so for me I've learned how to start with myself and I'm trying to make this a selfish thing but if I'm not giving myself what I need how can I be the greatest self for those that need me to be how can I be the greatest self for my kids for my wife

for my community so I want to tell everybody listen to this man like stop losing yourself trying to please strangers on the internet trying to please people who literally are going to just jump on the next bandwagon we've seen this over and over once you stop being hot and once you stop giving them what they need they're going to go to the next thing and so I realized that from football I've seen it so when I got into this space I'm like I appreciate the love

but I know the love is circumstantial once I stop giving you what I need and I get it it's the world you're going to move on to the next thing so you think I'm going to start a war with them myself and lose myself for that no I'm okay with losing followers I'm okay with people saying oh I don't feel a I'm okay with that my worth is not in people's opinions I was given worth that worth just like you by God so I'm worthy plenty intended I'm worthy because of how

God created me and sees me not how this world used me not by blue checkmark not by 16 million people

following me online I was already worthy before birth just like you got sexual part it's in scripture

“so that's why I've gotten my confidence from in my life to no longer start a war with them myself it's”

not worth it I was given worth at my birth I was given worth at my birth woo I just want to call this out because what you're saying is in 2024 I am watching so many brilliant beautiful talented filled with potential people get taken down get taken down by this persona they're putting out right in so many different ways I have friends on reality shows I have friends on reality shows that I'm watching just like in a way how do I say this without saying any names and in

in a way just like sell their soul for fame it's just eating them alive in their life and in everything that matters but it is making some good TV and then they go down the cycle where if they don't do it more and more they're not relevant and they're not on the show anymore and it's this perpetual cycle and then it's this like oh my gosh every type of person who is not wanting to be a public person in their life but then it's just nowadays social media is a part

of everyone's life and they're putting out a persona trying to get likes or trying to make sure everyone sees this version of themselves that it's it's everywhere it's everywhere and and and we're a lot of people starting to believe a lie that their worth is tied to it that their

“worth is tied to it and you this is what I think is such a blessing about the things as you say”

the things we go through can become things we make it through because you've had the big things happen in your life you've had the things that the world says you know what I mean that that make you worthy you and I have both had different things happen in our life that we worked really hard for only to realize when we get them or when we lose them like okay we learn a lot of lessons in them and also that does not define my worth absolutely yeah I look back on my life but I realize

my past through football really was to prepare me for this and show me like what's really real

you know always say this and it seems kind of harsh always say real situations expose fake

things in your life or people in your life and so I was able to see oh the majority of people in this world and this is just us in general but the majority of people in this world sometimes only loves you because it was to around you do you love me for me and if I don't have a consensus yes then I'll put you in the place where I feel like need to be in my life and I think a lot of times what we do Jamie is we put unfair expectation on people we give people titles that they don't

deserve we give people a title of a friend we give people the title of all these things when they haven't shown or proved it and so I think that's where you mess up even on social media like this is my family and I have the rehab as across the world and I appreciate them but we make these

it's a two way street we build relationships these days I feel like off of the weakest things

“and no wonder when we go through trials and tribulations things crumble so I want to build some”

off that solid and so if it's only what surrounds my life that's attractive that's one of the things

that we talked about earlier where I'm always going to be my authentic self because if my heart

is not enough for you if this is not enough for you then my success and the things that look sexy around my life aren't going to be enough for you because I know when once that ends yeah and you saw it through football absolutely a hundred percent a hundred percent when we can't get in the clubs no more when we can't get around certain people when we can't when I'm not paying for stuff no more when we yes a hundred percent and for every person listening

like for some of us it's we're in a job and we think these are our friends and then it shifts when we're no longer their boss or in a job with them or in a circumstance with them and I think I think what you offer that's just so powerful that I'm going to think about now every single day all the time is just living your truth knowing that if you're not it's you're starting a war within you right so I think I think I think for the person listening right now is like well

how do I tell if the people around me now are really my true friends I think it's just you live your your authentic you and don't start wars in yourself and if they love you for you doing that that's probably a pretty good sign absolutely people who are your people and there's exceptions

but they will never put more questions in your life and answers so if you have the question

“if it's real you probably got chance that's what I was saying just this morning I was questioning”

if I friendship was real just this morning and that is if you got a question if it's real consistently for sure if you got a question yeah I want to ask you Trent you you've said that protecting your peace and protecting your mind is more important than any relationship in your life and you are an amazing husband an amazing daddy an amazing all of it thank you all the things um for the person listening who's like oh I'm just so good at it

giving all my love to my kids or all my love to my partner all my love to everyone else which is another version can be another version of smiling for the camera while dying inside obviously it's not performative it's comes from a beautiful place of great intention

“but a lot of people wonder why am I I'm so good at being a mom or a dad or a friend or a partner”

and yet they're not good at taking care of themselves and loving themselves and we're almost hot to think it can be selfish and everything you teach flips that on its head so can you explain to the person listening right now who's like oh but Trent it's okay that I don't love myself or protect my own peace or start wars and so I'm really good at showing up for my kids or my partner or in my job or whatever else but that is not a recipe for a good life.

To the person listening watching this I'm gonna just say this do you think your kids don't know that you're not living your best life and giving everything to yourself and is that the example you want to set for them because they know no matter how much you tell them yes I'm what you give to them they know my kids in my journey when they know daddy isn't the best and daddy stressed out and daddy is not protecting his peace they know they can fill it and so

when I decided to commit it so doesn't mean that you're not there for your kids but I decided to say if I can illustrate this so often we're told to pour into people's cups and as giveers

as you know people who help people we're always pouring into cups and they always say you

need to have somebody in your life that can always refill your cup for me though that's always still depending on somebody else to refill your cup and that's always not a guarantee you have that person to refill your cup so a lot of people in this world including myself at times we're always pouring pouring, giving, giving, giving to our kids the people we love and then we start to fill empty so I committed my life to protecting your peace and for me that means having a abundance of

me meditate me talking to God and what happens I tell the people around me just stay around me

“don't worry about me pouring into your cup because I'm going to protect my peace so hard”

there will be an overflow of peace joy that you received just by being around me I don't have to worry about pouring because you're going to get the overflow and so in my kids they realize that when I'm taking care of myself they're getting the overflow wifey she's getting the overflow my team they're getting the overflow because I'm taking care of me so it's not selfish it's actually to me more courageous to say you know what I'm going to stop like trying to put it all these fires

and I'm just going to focus on giving myself what I need and when I give myself what I need I am better for everything around me and they receive the overflow cup running over and they're receiving the overflow of me protecting my peace and so that strategy that mindset has helped me not burn out and helped me not fill empty anymore and also to your point about your kids know right and it's almost like watching watching their parent overflow also gives them an example

that's right and how to do that in their own life one day that's right versus to grow up and do

“for everyone else and sacrifice yourself that's right my daughter Maya I'll never forget this”

I went into a room and I was like hey what are you doing she said that I protect them my peace it she hit me with that she's like I need some me time and I was like all right and I'll even not want to see her like okay so you're right and so now those moments of my little girls and obviously Tristan he's older but my little girls knowing what protecting their pieces is like the greatest accomplishment ever because they're understanding the young age how important that is

that's so beautiful yeah we'll see if she uses it when she's like we're sure yeah she needs to use it for sure so funny okay I'm so excited for everyone to get this in their hands we're going to get this in their hands in protect your peace right there's nine and apologetic principles for thriving in a chaotic world which is what we are in I want to talk about a few of the principles because you say demand your worth demand your worth absolutely how

do we do that Trent Shelton you know I wasn't going to go and know your worth but I want to be more unapologetic in the book and I'm in a season where you know I'm demanding my worth and demand

seems so like harsh but the true days if you don't demand your worth you're never going to get

your worth and so that looks different from business that looks different from personal life what I know is true is most people in this world and I've been here so many times in my life their worth is connected to something outside of them and I'm sure and worthy like you know this like their worth is connected to how a person feels about them right we can say social media how I'm doing my business like these things are controlling how they feel about themselves

and that is mission impossible if you're trying to feel worthy you're trying to feel lovable like blowing yourself it's always a roller coaster because you're dependent on the algorithm to make you feel worthy you're dependent on how somebody sees you to make you feel worthy and so

what I've learned and I talk about in demanding your worth is first determining what are the

puppet masters in your life that's controlling your worth a puppet master obviously somebody who

“controls how you feel so you have to cut the strings and say as we said earlier I'm worthy”

because of something that's foundational that doesn't change I'm worried because of this is I was created to be I'm worried because whatever you want to put in the blank and so that's the first step because when you understand your worth then you feel unapologetic for asking for it and so when people try to put a price tag on my life whatever that is as a speaker as this or that and they try to make me feel wrong for saying oh well you don't deserve this no I know what I

have been through I know what I've gotten through and I know my talent I know my gift so I'm going to demand my worth and if my worth is not seeable in your eyes and go find another person and so that's when business that's the relationships I see so many people in this world they shrink they shrink instead of expand they shrink to fit in they shrink to find a relationship they shrink to you know not offend and it's like why because if you don't demand your worth

the world will tell you what your worth is and the last time I check that's not a good price tag they're usually put your own wholesale hmm hmm okay for the person those saying like how do I do it how do I demand my worth how do I do it how do I know my worth how do I demand my

on wholesale sometimes we believe the lie that we are absolutely absolutely then we think

“well maybe that is what I'm worth maybe I am wholesale because that's what that that that that”

that someone told me yep hmm how have you gotten to this place are you've always been there no

haven't I haven't always been there yeah I've gotten used in abuse a lot I haven't always been there and I've realized that in lower in my worth and I believe this I believe settling leads to suffering and every time I've settled in my life for something suffering was in the near future so if I settle in business by settling in my personal life suffering was coming for me and so I made a commitment to myself to never settle and even if it's hard because sometimes you know

loneliness or you know what our temptation makes us settle for less and for myself I've realized that every time that I've accepted less in my life it put me in a bad place

“every time I didn't stand on my worth and demand my worth it put me in a bad place and so I just”

got tired of being used I got tired of being empty and sometimes you just got to get sick and tired of being sick and tired and what the world's gonna try to say to you is oh you're fully yourself what the world's gonna try to say to you is who do you think you are what the world doesn't know everything that you've been through and survived through just to get you to where you're at so my worth isn't just coming from La La Land my worth is coming from everything that I've put in the

work and I went through in my life and it's come from an ultimate permanent work of how God feels about me and my belief so I refuse to let him then anything tell me what I'm worth how can you tell me that you're not me you don't live my life and when we talk like this people kind of be like oh why are you talking like that it's because if I don't value me if I don't protect my worth then I'm gonna live a life full of settling and I'm gonna and I know for sure what's in the future it's

regret I've had enough conversations with people who are older and a number of things they say it's trend grandmother told me this trend know your worth demand your worth because when you get to my age you're gonna realize that you have lowered yourself for people than any of you here no more and you live and regret the rest of your life and regret is the greatest poison to the soul so I refuse to live and regret so by the miss out on the thing because I don't fit in

their scenario I'm okay with it it's not for me there's something down the line better from my life

so sometimes when you don't know your worth you will never get to the thing that is meant for your

life because you're taking every opportunity and you never actually get to the opportunity that's really meant for you so that's helped me a lot get the right things in my life settling leads to suffering yeah least in my experience as for sure mine too yeah I'm listening to you thinking about so many things right now so many things will make that as true that is true

“I think so many of us can relate to that we've like shrunk ourselves to fit into places for sure”

because we just wanted to be there or be included or if you'll want it yeah you'll want it that's right but your self worth is your ceiling and what I love so much is you're saying you set the ceiling that's right you set the ceiling do not let other people set the ceiling or the outside world or any of that there are nine principles in this book and you know I I want to make sure everyone gets the

book because it is so incredible and aside from what I've talked about so far I just want to say

is there one that you want to call out right now that just feels on your heart to speak into somebody today who is listening who needs to learn to protect their peace in their life the principle is simplify happiness and there's a saying this is happiness works off of what's happening and I agree but that's external happiness I don't believe internal happiness works off of what's happening it's a choice that you make some people call it joy but it's a choice

that you make to say I'm gonna choose to be happy but a lot of us are happiness is in the hands of all those things we just talked about I'm gonna be happy when they love me I'm gonna be happy when they accept me I'm gonna be happy when everything goes right and that is a disaster

happiness checklist on what it takes to be happy every day Lord it's like a million things right

I gotta wake up on time the storm looks like I gotta be short right it's this and this and

“it's in like you have to check off all these boxes to be happy and a lot of people in this world”

we we complicate happiness and happiness is such a simple thing happiness is an internal job that can come from ourselves and I know it's easier said than done when you have so much chaos around you but peace says no matter the chaos around you I'm not gonna let it kill the comments on me peace says yeah the storm exists it does but guess what the storm is gonna pass and so how would challenge everybody listening to us how can you make happiness so easy to obtain

that you had no choice but to be happy every single day it may be not the whole day but the moment I have a little area in the book and it's called Morning Marley Marley's my daughter and I realize this as we get older we complicated a lot more and I'm guilty of it

“and I'll never forget Marley I'm sure you had this happen with your kids Marley comes in the room”

and like seven a.m. so rises up she opens up our blinds I'm tired and she's singing a song

it's morning time and she's so happy that it's morning and the first thing I want to say is

Marley go back to sleep but I caught myself and I said wow she's happy because it's morning Trim once the last time you've been happy that you woke up and that is morning are you need some great thing to happen for you for you to be happy when she brushes our tea she has the brush your teeth song she's happy to brush her teeth and so if we get back I believe this is why God tells to be childlike because when we when we get away from being

childlike we start to have all this complication around what brings us joy what brings us

happiness go look at a kid a kid they can hate you one second love you in two seconds later

they're quick to forgive they find happiness and simplicity plan outside plan the bathtub

“like at what point in our life is grownups that we start becoming so cold and so boring and so”

you know just so tight with life and so I love that principle because I really feel like it can open up your life to more simplicity and experience more peace in your life if you just learn how to say what do I need today just to be happy and that question has literally changed my life how does Marley song go in the morning it's morning it's morning it's more it's something like that right and then her brush your teeth is time the brush your teeth like yeah that that that all so and I love it right now

I love it because I say wow when did I get away from being appreciative and a lot of us are unhappy because we spend our whole life chasing chasing the next thing more and more more and it's trust me it's hardly in the position you got people to take care of but it's more and more more more and more and the world programs us for that and so this book and the mess of protecting your pieces like slowing down and being loyal to your pace right what's the pace that are in your

life you know what the pace that is right when you run a race there's a guy or a girl who says the pace to keep you in pacing your race like I would ask like who are the pace setters or what's the pace setting your life and for me it was the wrong things at times it was scarcity that was setting the pace it was pleasing people that was setting the pace it was comparison that was setting the pace and all that did was burn me the heck out and so now my pace setter is peace now my pace setter

is confidence knowing that I'm running the race that is meant for me to run and some people might look like a turtle to some people might look like a rabbit but I'm okay at this pace because I understand the lifestyle and life that I want to live so yeah do you feel like if peace is your pace setter yeah you can still arrive through your life and at the end of your life in alignment with your assignment and reaching your full potential of who God created you to be a thousand percent

because I think we believe the lie oh if I have peace and that's my pace setter I'm going to lose my ambition I won't do you're saying ah ah ah right because we're so many of us are driven by the things

out we are arriving at one achievement after another empty still feeling like something's missing

because we thought that would bring our worth and it did not and most of my life trend I just thought oh if I am chill I'm not living up to my potential and that's actually a lie actually alive you protect

“your peace if peace is your pace setter you can still and probably maybe perhaps the only way to live”

in alignment with your assignment and become the person you're meant to be like all of you're meant to be because you're not starting wars with in yourself you're not getting distracted you're not getting taken out and you're not running on a treadmill so hard you get burnt out see peace is not just at earthy I'm disconnected from everything like peace is flow yeah peace is in the zone

peace is taking care of your business I'm at peace in my business because I take care of my business

yeah it's the basketball player that's shooting the free throw it two seconds left and there at peace at the free throw line why because of all the preparation so that can be at peace in this moment so there's a whole approach holistically to experience in peace I can't be at peace if I'm out taking care of my business I can't be at peace if I'm not doing the things that I know I need to do

“and so a big part of me protecting my peace is making sure I'm prepared it's making sure”

efficient is making sure I'm intentional is making sure that I'm doing the things that I need to do so I can lay my head down and I'm saying man I did what I need to do today I could be at peace someone to share that part for sure that's so good and peace isn't letting off the gas it's something drive-in to it sometimes it's pressing on it yeah hard drive into the restaurant absolutely absolutely absolutely it some people would think like there's two

experiences of me always say there's the particular peace train where people are like man

Trenton is owns on they see like the athletes out where I'm pressing the gas but it's all of those things but it's also knowing like in a race you know your pay sometimes you've got to run faster sometimes you've got to slow down but you can't look at the next person and say oh I should be running faster because the person in year 15 is doing this so I'm going to do it the person that started the podcast you know 10 years ago I'm expecting to get the same amount of download so

I'm going to do all the things and we sit here we compare our so and it's like no this is my journey this is my journey and I'm on sometimes I'm going to be a season of busy a season of dad a season of everything but I'm still at peace because I'm loyal to my pace so when I need rest I rest when I need to go I go and I'm okay with that because I know at some point the finish line that's meant for me to cross will be there and it might not look like the next person's finished

line but I'm okay with that so that's a big part of knowing your worth it's a big part of being confident who you are a big part of knowing that what God has for you that's a big part because if you don't you're going to think that I'm supposed to be doing all of these things not that you can't get influence and motivated by someone else but that's still their life that's still their journey so I might not have that or have this but I have what I need and I'm okay with that

for the person who says okay well I am not sure I even believe God exists and what do I do and how do I how do I have faith in something greater than myself if I don't quite believe that exists which actually let me ask you that how in your own faith journey um have you come to believe God exists and then have your faith in God yeah experience you know um I grew up in the church show was easy my dad my grandmother my mother but for so long in my life it was the relationship

“that God that they gave me you know I believe because this is what you're supposed to do”

you're supposed to go to church three days a week and I believe because of that but that wasn't a true belief that was a given belief and I had to learn how to seek God for myself and build that relationship so my relationship with God doesn't look like on paper maybe what it looks like for everybody else not just told you before I got here I went to the ocean and I find God there I believe nature is God's natural medicine for the soul so I'm in the woods I'm doing all these things and

that's where I find God and that's stricken my relationship but it's my journey of me being seven years old what asthma pretty much flatlining in the ICU at seven years old and me realizing that there's a purpose for my life me losing my NFL career and thinking that what else is there to my life and now I'm living in my purpose me almost man losing my daughter you know holding her

and so I tell people all the time you know you can hear things you can read books but it's the experience that strength is the belief and so for me God is real because of what I'll see in my life and how he's worked in my life hmm what's your advice for someone who maybe is hoping to strengthen their faith and they're just asking like you know to believe when they just kind of don't like what your advice to them if they want to have faith in their life and they just

kind of don't quite believe it immerse yourself in relationship just like anything else you know

“I think sometimes we think this relationship with God is like you know it's opposed to”

I'm just gonna say it Jamie like we live in a world right now where people are telling you how to live and what to do and it looks like this and if it doesn't look like this and I think in our faith as Christians it's so hard because I know for myself and I'll just say this like when I first started in this industry I got jealous a lot if you listen to my first book and words one of my first words was I fear the body of Christ because I'm more judged by churches they expect me to be perfect

but that's across that I can't carry this soul still battle sin does it make me less Christian if I told you sometimes I struggle to believe when I say amen and that was real and so I said man like I'm not good enough and I think for so many people out there there's this checkbox of being the perfect Christian and I know we're supposed to do certain things but until you really build that relationship and realize God is a God of grace God is a God of forgiveness

and you really allow God to work into your life they're never gonna fill that presence so I

would ask somebody like are you seeking him daily are you are you building community with other believers daily because if you're not just like any relationship like if you don't call your girlfriend our boyfriend or talk to him eventually there's gonna be some disconnect and so God doesn't move from us we move from him and so I would tell everybody that wants to build a better relationship don't let your circumstances don't let your situations don't let fill relationships I've seen it people

become angry at God I did God you let me play since I was four years old a sports and now it's over like what's up and this is how I talk to God like what's up man and I realize like

number one he doesn't always any explanation because he's done so much for our life from my mother

died why God but I remember my mother telling me you don't you can question God but understand that God doesn't know you anything because he's already gave you everything and so that's helped me in my life so I would tell that person to build, to seek, to have conversation and it might look different there's no perfect prayer sometimes the prayer is hey God I'm struggling today

“I need you God knows the wants desires of your heart you have to step out the boat in and see”

but he requires us to step out the boat most of us don't do that we won't God to do everything for us so what is stepping out the boat look like because that shows God that we trust them and that shows faith and once you do that he will literally pave the road that you're going on and

that's how I got to this place because people always ask me Jamie like how did you get here with

the steps and I can give you a cool five step process of like stay committed stay this stay that but the truth is I got here because I trusted a plan that wasn't mine I got here because I was able to go down this journey even though I didn't know where I was going I still trusted that's how I got here God had something bigger for me than I have for myself so and I know I'm kind of going on a tangent here but we have and I love vision boards and I love the

visions and I always tell people have the vision but understand God holds a bigger vision than any vision board can hold for you and I've realized that with my life so I couldn't have planned to be sitting across from you here this couldn't have but God had a deeper plan and deeper meaning from my life even though I didn't understand it at the time so I would tell the person to trust to seek and have patience that God got you. I love what you said so much oh my gosh

and there's so many things you just said that are so powerful that you know I think there's a lot of people out there that maybe feel like they're not good enough to walk into a church or that they

“might be judged or things like that and I'll never forget and because I went through gosh almost two”

decades I was also raised going to church and went through almost two decades of starting to question if God existed and and I was around a lot of people that did not have faith and all that

reporting where you shoot all your own video and you edit and you tape to tape and then you can

stand up and do the the filming and all of that and I was so fine by the way but I'll never

forget I one of the stories I did was that this rescue horse ranch where they take rescued abused horses and they rehabilitate them and then they actually bring kids a lot of kids of all ages kids teenagers that have gone through abuse and often won't talk to adults about it and they just let the kids be with the horses and I remember I was doing a three-part series there and I just watched this horse laying down in a pasture and I watched this 14-year-old girl who wouldn't talk to adults

she wouldn't talk about what she'd gone through but she just sat there talking to the horse and she laid her head down on the horse and I just remember I was probably 25 yards away watching this and I just felt God's presence stronger than I have ever like and I'm out there in the middle of nowhere in this horse ranch in the middle of Eastern Oregon and I just remember realizing at that moment

“okay I think what I'm feeling is God's presence I don't happen being a church at the moment while”

feeling this and it was the first time I realized in my life like oh God is everywhere and I was in the

season where I was praying until in God I don't I'm doubting you exist can you please come into my life and prove me wrong right I went through this for years until he started oh my gosh over and over and over and over and and that sort of like how I went through my journey because I did not I mean there was a long time I was questioning she know what I mean and um and I love what you shared about about you know in hard times just like trusting him and having to trust him in those times even

when some people might have hard times and say if there was a God this would not be happening to me right versus okay like let me lean on him or on my faith to make it through and you know I just want to say one more thing Trent because I think just for for the person listening right now who is like on that journey and I think a lot of people are I think there's a lot of people that have maybe felt like maybe they've been discouraged on their faith journey because they felt like

something doesn't feel right about me not being accepted for who I am inside of a church or maybe they've had an experience where they didn't feel that way and what I found is a lot of churches do

love you fully for who you are but there are some that you may not feel do and I always just imagine

if Jesus were on this earth right now like I just um there's a quote by Bob Gough where he says Bob Gough says every time I ask God who I should love and for how long I should love them

“I always hear him whisper to me everybody always and that's how I feel like Jesus would be so”

so for me when I'm in a space whether it's a church or anywhere else like if you this is just me talking to the one person listening right now but you feel you know our body's feel tense when something's not right for us and we relax and something's the truth and for me that's how I always kind of know is this the right place to be praying is this the right church for me is this the right you know what I'm saying it could be a journey and I just found that the more open I am

to God in my life I know when it's true because my whole body feels you feel it you feel it like you feel an alignment when when you know that it's um that it's real but it's a journey for everybody of kind of like evolving their faith if that's something that they want to do in their life so thank you for sharing that do you believe what is for you will find you for sure you do

“you believe you can't miss it I believe you are magnet hmm and I believe the more you work in”

yourself you strengthen your magnet I don't believe in chasing chasing dreams like I say that too but I don't believe in chasing I believe in attracting not necessarily the law of attraction but I believe that the more you work in yourself the more you believe right believe it the more you believe in yourself the more you feel like you're worthy you strengthen this magnet whether right things are magnetized to you they find you the right friends the right connections

I mean if you look on your life Jamie I can look in mind and be like again how did this relate how do we it's because you strengthen your magnet and so I work on that and that's allow me to protect my peace because I'm not going to seek it doesn't mean I don't go you know try to do relationships and things like that but I'm not in desperation hmm I'm okay that when it comes it comes but I'm going to make sure when it comes I'm preparing I'm ready and I'll strengthen

that magnet every single day and I can tell you that has opened up more doors in my life because

I believe God has given me it's allowed the right things to come to me because when you're chasing

“and seeking and you're going to find a lot of times you're going to find which are loneliness ones”

you're going to find which are scarcity wants you're going to find what your comparison wants that's what you're going to find and so I'm not trying to go find nothing I'm trying to have these things find me Trent Shelton that is a word that is a word I want to say I am so excited to just hear the impact of some of the things you've shared today on people because I'm sitting here and I'm

knowing how it's impacting me right now right because a lot of my life I have felt this desperation to make things happen or to seek or to go after and to open the door to try to get it to opening and and and and you're so right it's when we strengthen our magnet when we strengthen our

“worth that things happen you know it's not that we're not just sitting back through”

enough and wait no that's lazy that's not lazy not be lazy but just like putting in the in the work to raise your worth to put to put in the reps to be prepared to do all that stuff and then having that faith that faith and that has happened in my life so many times and I still get tempted to go back to that other oh I've got to just like you know make it all happen and and and run faster on the treadmill and I get fall into that often

and what you just said like it'll be what your scarcity finds it'll be what you're right not what you said one more time I just want everyone to take that in no this is so so so so so good when you're when you're chasing oftentimes you will find which are scarcity finds which are insecurities will find which are worries will find which are fears will find and it goes back to now you're going to settle for less it's like you're trying to knock down

the door and beat down the door that's not meant for you to go in and you're spending all your energy and time trying to knock down this door when if you just have patience you talk about not being lazy lazy is procrastination patience is working while you're waiting patience is trusting God in the process patience is peace that I'm going to still do what I got to do and go hard but I have patience and peace that when this time for that door to open

I don't have to knock it and kick it down it's gonna turn the knob it's gonna open at the right time that's the hard part Jamie that a lot of us want things to happen at our time when we want it

but as you know and I know that God's time is the perfect time and that's always always true

if God would have blessed me with rehab time when I wanted I would have fumbled it I guarantee you I would have messed it up for I wasn't ready so he was building me right he was molding me he was shaping me he was preparing me I said okay you're ready now here you go and so we got to learn how to have patience in the journey and trust the process and the process sucks at times the process is rough the process is it beautiful like we live in an entrepreneur or social media where they show

you all the cool things right the ice bad jumping ice bath and do all the things right like cool but I don't show you the the other side of it like just because you start some don't mean you're going to be successful probably less than one percent of people actually are and the people actually become successful other people actually had steadfast and continue to persevere over the first

“year second third fourth is six six year but we don't see that talk enough about and so that's why”

I love our conversation because you're seeing two individuals that are telling you if you're just having patient having peace in the journey it will find you over time but if you want the celebrity if you want the money now you want all these things now you're going to run into a race that you aim into running you will burn out that's why statistically you look at all the things that people

start and don't finish eight percent of people finish with a start 92 percent of people don't

and it's because I guarantee that 92 percent was being guided by the wrong things I remember Oprah weren't saying that in all her years 25 years that ever went for show she would just like cherish whenever there would be a moment where an aha moment would happen or an aha moment would happen and I feel like I have personally had aha moments in this conversation and I am just like

dedicate protect your peace to your parents can you talk about their impact on your life

“the greatest lessons that they have taught you i'm almost at a loss for words because it's so hard”

to put it into words what my dad has done for me show me how to be a man came at every single one of my games didn't miss a game worked at UPS for now

a long time more than I've been alive but he always made time to be there

I never had to wonder where he is where he was he was always there he showed us how to be a man continues to show us how to be a man my mother was and still is our rock and I dedicated this book to her because she always taught me what peace is and always seen her operating peace

“even though it's time she would have chaos and things going around and things going on in her life”

she would always be a woman of peace she would be a woman of calm and even the most chaotic

situation especially in the storms she was the shelter in our storm she was the one that was

everything's going to be alright even when it didn't look alright and so what's ironic Jamie with this book I told you I changed the date and it was supposed to come out in January that wasn't going shared as well I'm a share one of my promises that I told my mother or or write this book protect your peace and what I saw in her and I got to share this my mother literally died in peace because she lived in priority my mother's able to rest in peace because she

lived in the priority she prioritized the things that mattered so I know when it was her time to go she was okay because she did everything she was supposed to do she was the major arc that took care everything so I literally saw her at peace when she took her final breaths and as hard as it was to see her get wheeled out the house I said thank you guy for healing her because sometimes we don't get a physical healing we get a spiritual one the book was supposed to come out January 16

something in my heart didn't feel right about that date so I reached out to the publisher and I said hey just give me another date I didn't pick this date they said March 5 immediately I felt a piece in my soul because that week of March was that week I talked about before where my mom and my all these situations happened so I called my dad I said dead cute believe man this book is bringing light to this dark week and I said but that is

some deeper than that I said what is it I said I don't know and in my midnight hour as I call it waking up at 3 a.m. because my mom passed I didn't get a full year at sleep it hit me March 5 is when the book comes out and March 5 was the last time I see my mother live the last time I held her hands so it's special

“and when I talk about being guided that's what I mean and so for the world to get this”

book someone didn't just a book for me it's a it's a representation of who she was and who

she is and I know she touched this book because I know my mother she always wants me to

shout her out she wants to be a part of everything so yeah it's a special one for me so I hope the world is able to protect their peace and get a glimpse of what my mother taught me for you to share that like when she passed we have tissues right down there if you need a tissue

and then you promise her you write this book absolutely did it feel like a divine download for sure yeah it was so clear so so clear mine was on hospice for six months so I saw what peace didn't look like in that moment peace so as hard as it is sometimes you know to move on and go on and I know you can understand I can literally live my life in peace because I know she's

resting in peace for real yeah I was she always wanted to almost say weird but a weird name

“as a grandmother so she always just says she's sweet and um that's what that's”

my my kids and my nephews and nieces they they called her that so yeah everyone who I've been blessed to have on the show people I love dearly who I know are going to bless every person listening and also and thank you for doing that today and I have a gift that I want to share with you something I do for each person who's come on the show but I want to share it at this moment um because of what we're talking about awesome the open up now okay yeah yep

yep ooh Nike shoebox awesome they say I had to get a bigger bag because of your shoes I'm like oh that's a different bag because it's bigger oh snap oh

“framing so these are custom Jordan's and and do you see what each and you have to look at the other one too”

it says honey protect your piece I don't know if I want to wear these shoes every day

are not wearing it now but I know she's I know she's always with you you know on my show

I yeah yeah I don't want to yes oh my gosh thank you so much we are just kind of here in my makeup off um I got myself matching so that I have this memory with you and I'm wondering if you would write on mine you would write some anything that comes to your mind

“on your mind and then I have this memory thank you thank you so whenever I wear them I want to”

think of you and I want to think of this day and I want to think of your incredible book that I'm

so excited for everyone to get protect your piece I got to write protect your piece on one side 11 Chen I have had so many aha moments I have not mastered a lot of this stuff and what you're talking about yet and I need to and I need to so thank you I appreciate you I'm gonna journey to God is all up in here all up in here today it would be custom Jordan smell it this has keep been a light on that side and you've got to sign your name to this is the dopest gift ever like oh my gosh I'm I'm

I'm genuinely excited look at them with your outfit today there's the red black and white and look here outfit red black and white even the even the hat everything you like it oh so these are fire thank you so much by the way thank you I have one more thing to share with you but before I do if you got value out of this episode my only ask is that you please share it

online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode

“today you never know whose life your meant to change today by sharing this episode and thank you”

so much for joining me today and before you go I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true you right now exactly as you are are enough and fully worthy you're worthy of your greatest hopes your wildest dreams and all the unconditional love in the world and it is an honor to welcome you to each episode of the Jamie Kernley Michelle here I hope you'll come

as you are heal where you need blossom what you choose journey toward your calling and stay as long

as you'd like because you belong here you are worthy you are loved you are love I love you and I

“cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kernley Michelle in life you don't”

sort the level of your hopes and dreams you stay stuck at the level of your self worth when you build yourself worth you change your entire life and that's exactly why I wrote my new book worthy how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you if you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill worthy is for you in worthy you'll learn proven tools and it's simple steps that bring life changing results like how to get unstuck from the things holding

you back build unshakable self love unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truth

“that wake up worthiness overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome achieve your hopes and”

dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you are born to be imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable

self worth get your copy of worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com

or the link in the show notes below imagine what you do if you fully believed in you it's time to find out with worthy do you struggle with negative self talk living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting I know because I spent most of my life in that habit the words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful and when you learn to take control over yourself talk it's life changing and I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you

if this is something that can benefit your life it's called five ways to overcome negative self talk and build self love and it's a free how to guide to overcome that negative self talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals don't let self sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer it's time to rewrite the script of your life when filled with self love resilience and unwavering belief

if you're ready to take charge of your narrative build unwavering confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams you can grab your free guide to stop over thinking and learn to trust yourself at jameycurrentleema.com/resources or click the link in the show notes below it's such an honor to share this podcast together with you and please note I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician

professional coach psychotherapist or other qualified professional