How to Get Stronger Without Making It Your Whole Life

Every Monday, you will learn to compassionately manage your time, wisely solve problems, and kindly live in your season.

“I'm your host, Kindredachi, and I'm so glad you're here.”

Today is episode 486, how to get stronger without making it your whole life, protein, a strength, body recomposition, weighted vests, magnesium. The new darling of the food world cottage cheese. All of these things are everywhere. It feels like every other post-dician Instagram is about women's health. Every end to cap of the grocery store is plastered with something about protein.

I am genuinely scared. I would all the shopping sites will look like in January because there will be so much more fitness equipment than I can even process as a human being. The volume is turned up right now on women, especially in their changing bodies. And listen, for good reason, right? Research around women's bodies is woefully behind that of men.

Parameter pauses a whole thing with its like own new wave of research and tools beyond what past generations had, which was basically like, hey, second up your fine.

And we're finally shining a stronger light on the harmful effects of dye culture, which changes how we see food and movement and all the things. I think that physically caring for ourselves is like a fairly universal hope, especially for women. But we're still figuring out how to do that with wisdom and reason. We have the noise of our busy lives, the noise of past messaging, and the noise of current voices telling us all the things that women over 40 should be doing. And the list is long, and whether you're over 40 or not, you're like paying attention.

And with all that noise, even well-meaning noise, it's very easy to feel overwhelmed by what to do, what's really important.

“And if it even matters, so that's what we're going to do today.”

Today, we'll do a more comprehensive look on my personal take on getting stronger without making it your whole life. Essentially, how do we lazy genius this? I'm going to start with a little background for my own life, just so you can understand where I'm personally coming from. And then I will share some practical tips on prioritizing whatever matters the most to you.

And as a as a content warning, I do talk about disordered eating in this first part.

So listen with care if that is a triggering topic for you. So here's my story with my own health and body. I'm 44, I was born in 1981. So I grew up in the 80s and the 90s when agriculture was like a peak performance. I also had an abusive father who talked to me often about my body and how it was not good enough for men to like.

Yeah, I don't need to tell you that a woman's body is not solely for the purpose of a man's pleasure and approval. But when I was a kid, any young teenager, it's what I was told and I didn't know anything different. As a teenager, I wait myself all the time, I hid behind overalls and baggy clothes. I was obsessed with getting smaller.

“I remember starting a running routine when I was like 14 or 15.”

Because I had read about something like that in like 17 magazine, like a free one that I had found at the library. It just seemed really clear to me that I needed to lose weight and get smaller in order to have value. Like all the magazines set it, all the TV commercials set it, my dad set it, my friends set it. Not about me, but about themselves. All of our moms were saying it about themselves when they didn't think we were listening.

It was everywhere. In my early 20s, I developed an eating disorder. I went from a size like, I don't know, 8 or 10, which is what I am most of the time to a size zero. Because I only ate like 800 calories a day. Once I hit my goal of being a ridiculously small size and frankly got a lot of compliments for it.

I started eating normally again and then of course gained everything back. Because of course I did, of course I did and I should have. I was way too thin. But since eating restrictively was so stressful and it didn't work for very long. I started getting into all the exercise fats in the middle of these yoga diets I would try.

We had like a couple of informational exercise machines like we had the Tony, what's his face gazelle. You know, we had a treadmill, we had a bow flex like we had, we had all the things that we would, you know, I would use for a little while and then we would sell like art sales. But I would buy workout programs on DVD and resistance spans. I followed the advice I would read in magazines that having cute workout clothes would motivate me to work out.

And even though we were like we were on such a tight budget, I bought cute workout clothes. They did not motivate me, they just like cost me a lot of money and didn't fit for very long anyway.

I feel like for yoga dieting and excessive exercise during the 90s and early odds. Then I started having kids and had to deal with the talk of, you know, getting your body back and all that.

I remember feeling really good about myself physically when I was pregnant with Sam, who was my first kid.

“Because like I was supposed to gain weight, like that's what happens.”

And if you're supposed to do it especially in your belly and that's where I gained weight anyway. And it was like the pressure was off and it felt good to not think about my body except for the taking care of the baby inside of it. And when Sam was born, I was at the time in that season of life. I was volunteering with my church's high school youth group. And a handful of students and their moms had come to see me and to see Sam.

It had only been a few days since I've given birth. So of course I still have to pregnant just like a slightly, you know, like lumpy or version. Really that's what happens with the baby comes out. It's just like a lumpy pregnant lady. And I remember a teenager said to me, not to be awkward, but like when will your pregnant stomach go away?

And I remember I genuinely felt at ease in that moment. Like such peace in my body. And I remember saying something like, you know, I don't know. And I don't actually think I care that much like my body just made a baby. And I think that that is really cool.

“It was the first time I remember feeling confident as a person in my body independent of what that body looked like.”

And then one of the moms in my living room said with a laugh. She's like, well, you say that now, but it won't be long before you start wanting to get rid of your stomach again. You know, haha. And it like all deflated just like that, like in one comment. My new body confidence was like on baby dear legs.

And that one comment just like knocked me back to where I was before. So fast forward to three babies later, lots of changes in my body obviously. And it's time when when die culture finally got put under the microscope. You know, the noise in the last decade turned from get small to your body is good no matter at size. And we need to see lots of different sizes.

Not exclusively, but size inclusivity. It became a loud voice. And I'm so glad. And I think what happened to me though personally is I was so angry at the harm. Diet culture had caused me in so many others that I just like swung the other direction.

I was kind of like who cares what choices I make. My body is good, you know. And it was. And I think for a time that swing to the other side, it was necessary for me. I needed to not think about my body in any way in order to heal from thinking about a quite literally all the time.

So I ate what I wanted. I didn't really exercise. I just happily existed.

“And it was a really important season, I think.”

And then I turned 40. I turned 40 in late 2021. When we were all doing great, we were all doing great. Then we had not been through an ordeal as a nation in a world. And when I turned 40, it's like my body just changed personalities.

Like I couldn't sleep. My hair started changing. My joints hurt so much all the time. I started getting migraines.

I had never gotten migraines before my life.

My skin changed. I suddenly could not get off the couch without grunting like a little man. I could not do the same types of exercises anymore without getting like way more winded or tired. My mobility, my energy, moods, strength, my ability to digest dairy. Like everything changed.

What felt like overnight. So as I saw my doctor, I got on some meds to help with my hormones. And I just started paying attention. I didn't make many changes to my behavior outside of like a few more walks here and there. And then I started dabbling and strength training.

But really, I just started paying attention to my body. Like what it couldn't do.

What it needed now that it never needed before my energy levels day to day and what my impact those things.

I was just like, I was like a scientist just gathering data. And then all of that energy and observation came to a head one weekend this past July. I remember it had been a really hard week on my body. It had a couple of migraines by joints for hurting, which they always were, but like extra. And I just felt bad, but with no idea on how to hold myself.

And then all the same time, like so many folks in their 50s, 60s and 70s, that I knew directly or indirectly had some big health things happen. Not all of them were preventable. But it was just this like onslaught of situations involving brain health and mobility. And the inability to recover after something like surgery or a fall.

All my history, the influence from diet culture, the disorder deeting,

the lack of care for my body at all.

“The information I had been reading about the previous few years about Paraminopause and women's health and all of the things,”

like all of it met this moment of seeing people 10, 20, 30 years older than me, really struggle in their bodies to the point where they couldn't live independently anymore. And like it just flipped a switch, I suddenly had this clarity around what mattered most. And that was doing what I could in like a reasonable way to care for my body, so that I can live vibrantly and independently for as long as I'm able.

Now sure, obviously, I cannot control what sicknesses I might get or what tragedies might happen.

Like I'm not trying to cheat death here, nor do I want to.

But as far as I am able, I want to be able to walk up and downstairs. I want to lift heavy things above my head. I want to be able to squat down and pick stuff up and tend to my brain so that it thrives as age. I want to go to my kids big life events and walk around new cities all day with cars and play with maybe potential eventual grandkids. I also started learning about the connection between metabolic health and brain health.

I read research about the benefits of muscle. To be honest, it was like drinking from a fire house. But I didn't mind the initial drinking because I felt clear in why I wanted to learn anything at all. Which leads us to the practical part of this episode. Because guess what, it's still a fire house.

Like it's still really noisy out there. We're also trying to figure out how to build muscle and do that squat thing. Where you kind of look like a frog, but you like sit there for a while, you know? Also, like, got to get cottage cheese and everything now. It's like a lot of information to absorb, let alone integrate into your life.

Without it becoming your entire life. Because I don't think this can be your entire life. Like, yes, you can prioritize your health and that's awesome.

“That's what I'm doing to, but you also like have a job.”

And maybe a partner or kids or aging parents that you're taking care of. You have relationships to invest in and builds to pay. And meals to make and cottage cheese to buy and all the things that life is full of. Suddenly becoming someone who can meal prep and work out a lot and get 10,000 steps a day. And know what supplements to take and actually remember to take them.

And go to bed at nine o'clock and drink or ever water and we're supposed to do like jump training now. Where we like jump a lot for bone density stuff. It's just like so much.

I always think about OG listener and reader Markella who asked this question several years ago about all the things we're supposed to do.

How it like feels like we're a monkey in a circus, just trying to keep that. When what's important still feels like too much. We often don't do anything that's important at all because it's too much. So let's take the rest of this episode to approach this whole thing like a lazy genius. How can you get stronger or healthier or take more care without making it your whole life.

Luckily, we can lazy genius anything including this. So let's do it.

“All right, here's the headline. If you're going to get stronger without making it your whole life, you have to start small with one thing at a time.”

And go in and order that matters. You cannot and definitely will not succeed if you just start doing like a bunch of stuff all at once. That's how you get stronger by actually making it your whole life and you already have a whole life. You can't just like stop your whole life to suddenly become a stronger healthier version of yourself. It's a full-time job. If you go from zero to 100 in every category, if you choose to do that, which you're allowed to, a lot of things have to give.

So let's see if we can take a different approach. I know starting small is not very fun, but it is as we know for those of you who have been here for a long time with me, it is the most sustainable choice here. So my suggestion is to make a list of lifestyle changes, whether additions or subtractions, that align with what matters to you, and do one, one for anywhere, for like one to four weeks at a time. Don't worry about the others. Just do one for a few weeks until it finds a little bit of a groove.

If it doesn't find a groove, make some sort of adjustment, timing a mouth, make it smaller, and then try another few weeks without adjustment. Once you feel like you're in a groove with something, you can pick the next thing on the list and add that to your life until it finds its groove.

and will benefit you for years to come. So even though you hate it, you're going to just do one thing at a time until it finds a groove, and then you can add something else.

“That's how you get stronger without making your whole life. You start small with what matters most.”

Now, I don't know what your list might include, so let's talk through some common examples. The ones I'll hit today are steps, strength, protein, fiber, mobility, and sleep.

Now, obviously, I'm not a nutritionist or trainer or doctor. I'm just a person. I'm also really not giving any medical advice, but if anything, I say feels like it's tricky for you.

Please consult someone who is smart, who is not me. My goal here is just to help you figure out how to smart start small in these categories.

“So, first, when let's talk about steps, this is the easiest one to sort of like build on.”

So the big advice for a long time has been to walk at least 10,000 steps a day. You know, get your steps in. They don't have to be fast steps or high cardio steps, but the research is there enough now that walking like it really does improve your mobility and your herd health and not to mention your mental health.

Now, 10,000 is not the only number that counts here. There's a lot of research that shows that even 7,000 steps is still offering some pretty decent like metabolic and mobility benefits.

But if you don't already walk much, or you don't know how many steps you take at all, or you are getting fixated on the number 10,000, and you know that that is just so hard for you to do in your life, like this change of like adding more steps, you could feel enormous. That's because it is. So let's run through some practical ways that you can start this in a small way.

“In fact, these small steps are in a really good order. So just identify where you are on this steps path and just start where you are. That's what I want for all of us to start where we are.”

Step one is to get a pedometer. Get something that counts your steps. You don't know how many you take until you count them. Now, you might already have that on your Apple Watch or if it better something, which you can also just get like a cheap little plastic pedometer that does nothing but count steps like I have. I love it's in my pocket right now and just stick in your pocket every morning. Don't try to get more steps. Just see how many you do get like take a week or two and just like pay attention.

If you're far enough away from die culture and the harmful tracking that came with all of that track those steps like you can write down your number steps every day. But if tracking is too triggering don't do it. Just like notice your brain can remember the just you know so step one is just get a pedometer step two. Adding more steps to your life until you add about a thousand a day like that's about 10 minutes one thousand steps is about 10 minutes. So add a thousand steps to whatever walking or just regular living that you're already doing every day.

So you could do that by just walking or loops around your house for 10 minutes. You could walk around the block. You know park further back in the parking lot at the grocery store and post office in a couple of errands. So you have a little farther to walk that could give you a thousand steps. Just try and add about a thousand steps a day to what you're already doing do that for a week or two and then add another thousand and then another thousand. Like no matter where you start you're still getting closer to ten thousand over time right, but you cannot go from zero to ten thousand. You just won't do it. There's no way you will give up so fast.

So just add a thousand steps or about ten minutes a day to how you're already living every week or two until you get to a place that feels sustainable. Now once you're in a rhythm of making small choices to add more steps, you could make another choice to add a larger amount like one long walk a week. You know, you could decide that you're going to take a 60 to 90 minute walk in a place you enjoy every weekend. It doesn't matter what time of day or who you go with, but like once you're in a decent rhythm with thoughtfully adding steps to your day and small ways, you could add in one weekly long walk.

Now maybe this is the point where you decide to invest in a walking pad because walking during the day is really tough because of your job or the weather where you live or you have a tiny baby or something. So once you've started to add tiny bits of steps each day in your regular life, if you hit a threshold where you just cannot figure out how to add more, you just cannot get past five thousand steps or something, maybe you could consider walking pad at your house. So you can walk while you do your job on the computer, but don't go by a walking pad today, that's going in the wrong order. And I hope you see that with all these examples to come. The way you get stronger without making your whole life is to add small sustainable steps in areas that matter based on where you already are, like don't skip ahead and add something big when you haven't tried something small.

You have to believe in small steps metaphorical and literal before you can think about adding big ones. Okay, so if you're trying to add steps into your life, that's the category that you're like, this is something I would like to do because I'm pretty, I don't move a whole lot. I would be a good order to go in and how to start small. Okay, next category, let's talk about strength. So strength training is lifelong.

“Like I remember that Jim, Jim Gaffigan joke, where he talks about going to the gym and he looks at all these buff people and he's like, what are you doing here? You're done.”

And I've always found that so funny, but also the reason they're never done, like you don't, you have to work muscle in order to keep it.

So strength training is lifelong and your body has a lot of muscles to train, right? There are a million people making their money on Instagram as fitness coaches and that is great. But it can also feel like too much at once if you have never lifted weights before. So let's start small and walk down the line. Okay, remember we're starting this order from like nothing to something. So just find yourself wherever you are and start there if this is an area that you're like, this is this is sort of where I want to focus because I want to build some muscle.

All right, so step one.

Start with body weight a little bit every day. Don't worry about, don't worry about weights at all.

And buy a little bit. I mean like do five squats while you wait for your coffee to brew today and like five kitchen counter pushups tomorrow at the same time. Like that's it. Like today is squats five tomorrow is kitchen counter pushups five and be done. Like believe in small steps just use your muscles just use them. You're not really training them or breaking them down all that much. But you are using them, which is really important.

“Like muscle growth and health is not just about lifting big weights three times a week and then being still like you need to use your muscles every day.”

So every day do something small enough to sustain like five squats a day five counter pushups tomorrow five squats the next day five counter pushups the day after.

Like do that for a week and then bump the number to 10 week three move it to 15 week four. Add squats to when you're brushing your teeth at night and pushups to when you're like letting your serum soak in you know add like another session or whatever just like slowly add little bits. Not even every day just like every week or two to show yourself that small steps matter and it gets started in an area that matters in this case strength. Step two you're going to get some weights you've used your body for a little while you have sustained those small steps and now you're like I'm ready to get some weights.

“So go to the store that sells dumbbells and look for two sizes okay one is likely for arm stuff and one is for leg stuff you need you need one heavier piece.”

The the weights that you might use for like a bicep curl are not heavy enough to really do any good for legs. So two sizes is really great one heavy and one less heavy so just test those in the aisle like quite literally so you're going to hold the dumbbells. Next you on either side like you're about to pick up a suitcase like straight straight arms right they're on the ground you got straight arms and you're going to like squat to pick up those weights and go up and down like you're pretending to lift a suitcase.

It's called a suitcase squat squat to pick up those weights go up and down if you get tired with those weights around 10 squats that feels like a good size. If you could keep going and squat more get something a little heavier. You can do the same with a smaller weight with a lighter weight for your arms so you could do a shoulder press will stand in there right there in the aisle the one where you lift the weight from shoulder to straight up you know. It's almost like you're holding a barbell over your shoulders but it's just the weights. So do that do like a shoulder press and if you get tired at 10 that's a good weight. Keep that side keep that weight that's great if you don't if you're not tired or like I could you go and think get something heavier.

Or you could get exercise bands if that feels like you can get like good resistance without being tied to specific weights but just find your weights you can't start lifting weights until you get some weights. Or you might actually have a gym membership already that you don't use and you could just use the weights or like the weight machines there but find weights that work before you commit to using them all right so after that. One day a week like for real you're just going to set yourself up for failure if you have not already been in any sort of rhythm with this. So start lifting weights one day a week pick two or three lower body exercises and two or three upper body exercises or like pick a youtuber with a good you know with good strength workouts like I used Caroline Garvin for like a long time and you could do one of those a week.

Unless you're really trying to build muscle and like a really really big way you don't need more than three sessions a week.

“Now the more you get into strength training the more that you're going to understand your own body and what works best and how often you want to do it.”

I'm trying to train three times a week because I really really enjoy it and I want to build muscle and I don't do like leg day arm day I do it all in one day okay. Now the biggest thing that helps me build muscle right now further down is to write down my weights and reps every single time I left. So I have this little notebook that sits with my set of adjustable dumbbells I invested in a set of adjustable dumbbells after I had a 10 set and a 15 set. Set and then they just weren't heavy enough anymore and so I got an adjustable set that went from 10 to 50 and I can I can adjust them and it's great so I now write everything down.

My goal at every workout is to add another rep or add some weight to the core set of exercises I do. I do not really vary my exercises. So for lower body I do goblet squats, suitcase squats, RDLs and lunges. I just do those four things.

“For upper body I do chest presses just like on the ground on the floor.”

One arm rose shoulder presses, bicep curls, tricep extensions and push-ups. Now I know there are a lot of exercises out there. And figuring out which ones to do it got me like all in a tizzy. So I just do like large muscle groups group exercises that just like pay off. My goal is not to get like crispy shoulders or whatever so I don't need to worry too much about like specifically working all three parts of my shoulder. I just want to be able to like pull things off the ground, raise heavy things up high and like carry my big old mess of grocery bags without hurting myself, you know.

So don't start big. Don't set yourself up for failure by starting some workout routine that's a 30 day challenge. And now some of you thrive in that space, some of you do and if you do your this episode is probably not something that you need because you're already doing what it is that you want. But I don't think most people thrive there, especially people who do not want to make getting stronger their whole life. So in order to do that you just got to start small. Something is better than nothing get used to the small steps get used to the actual reps of exercising.

That is how you create a routine to build on. Okay. Now, before we get into the next one, it's still a strength. If you're far enough down the road that you want to figure out how to integrate strength training and walking or one of my favorite cardio things dancing into your weekly rhythm.

Something that might really help is to try three, three, three, three method, which is basically over nine days. Do strength cardio rest strength cardio rest strength cardio rest.

You like follow that rhythm no matter the day of the week. Now, that might actually be easier for some of you to just be like, what did I do yesterday? That means I do this today, right? It's just like a rotation. Now, if you need specific days to be specific things because of just timing, obviously choose that almost like a meal matrix, you know, but don't do that until you've already tried some small steps. Don't try something big every day until you try something small every day. Like counter pushups while you wait for your coffee. Like if you don't believe in that, if you don't believe in the power of small steps, big ones just will not stick. I promise you, I promise you, I promise you.

Next up, protein. Apparently women need a million grams of protein a day, which is why every package everywhere has like a high protein version of itself.

“Now listen, I have plenty of high protein things in my kitchen, so no shade there. I believe it's important. It's something I focus on, but it can also be overwhelming. So let's start small.”

If you are new to adding protein to your life, please don't go from zero to 130 grams a day. It will destroy you just from the decision fatigue alone.

So here's what I want you to do. Just start with breakfast.

Find one or two breakfasts that are easy to make and enjoy able to eat that give you 30 to 40 grams of protein at once. And that's it. Don't change anything else about how you eat. I have two morning smoothies. I love that both have about 40 grams of protein a piece. I also have a breakfast option when I want to choose something since smoothies are not that. And it's a piece of high protein bread with some cheesy eggs and berries. All three of these proteins have about the same calories, protein fiber, so they're like relatively interchangeable.

And I just don't fear. Like they work. They start my day in a way that keeps me full. It's a great choice. No matter how I eat the rest of the day. Okay? So that is a way to add protein to your life in a very, very small way. Just start with breakfast.

Or you could start with this one, actually.

Is to cook the same foods that you normally do, but for your own portions when you're serving yourself, just like double the meat. If you usually eat like one small piece of chicken with your plate of roasted potatoes, just do more chicken and less potato. Like just eat more of the protein you already have in front of you. Another easy way to add protein to your life in a way that will also like take away potentially something that is adding very little nutritional value is to find a high protein way to end the day, especially if you have a sweet tooth like me.

“I make that cottage cheese cookie dough that's like everywhere. It's like honestly really delicious. Like it does not come on. It doesn't taste like cookie dough, but it tastes enough like cookie dough.”

They're like, this is very satisfying. And if you put chocolate chips in there, listen, it has way fewer calories than my historic nightly bowl of ice cream.

It also does not have the same amount of really intense dairy for me to process. And it packs like 10 grams of protein at the end of the day. So find something that's satisfying and enjoyable, but with higher protein. Like just pick one of those three things to start. I recommend breakfast since it jumps start your body in a really great way, but like don't overhaul your entire life.

“Just just deal with what's already there. Add to what's already there. Add more protein to a meal you're already cooking. Just give yourself another piece of chicken.”

And find a high protein sweet thing to end the day with that you really like. I also stumbled upon a little protein boost that is now become like a favorite thing every day. So I bought accidentally what I thought were chocolate protein drinks in my grocery store. I bought them for the boys because they also drink protein drinks because they're, you know, they eat their chocolate muffins, but then they're like growing children. So we have like those Chibani yogurt drinks, but I wanted to give them a different option. But what happened is I accidentally ordered the cafe latte flavor, not the chocolate flavor. Well, those got delivered. I was like, dang it. Well, there you're now. I'll just might as well drink them myself. Now on their own, no, no way to sweet way to fake absolutely not, but I started making my espresso.

Dumping a third of one of those shakes in, which is 10 grams of protein, one full shake is 30 grams. So I would do a third, which is 10 grams of protein and then like a splash of my beloved oat milk and ice is one of the best ice lattes ever. And it's 10 grams of protein. So I'm still having my mid morning cup of coffee with just a little change. I'm doing the exact same thing. I'm just using some of this protein drink instead of all oat milk.

“That's what I mean. Just start where you are, add to what's already there. Just like one thing at a time. One thing at a time. Next is fiber. This like protein. It has less of a process than just like a few tips, but just start small.”

But did you know that raspberries have a ton of fiber? It's like a fiber super food. I eat raspberries every day, like every day. One of my smoothies uses frozen raspberries. I eat fresh as a snack or put a main Greek yogurt. Like I love raspberries. So this is so easy. That it's just a great high fiber food. Same goes for black beans. If you're a black bean person, just start adding black beans to the burrito you already eat for lunch every day or to the rice bowl that you're already having or to your scrambled eggs in the morning and add some salsa.

Like just add fiber foods to what you're already eating. Like Google highest fiber foods and pick the one that you like the most and add it here and there. Or if you're a smoothie person, you can just like get powdered fiber to add that would be fine too. Now one big thing I've learned is that a high protein diet without being high in fiber will must you roll bad. Like our bodies and brains need fiber so much. So just Google foods with the most fiber pick the two that you like the most and look at ways to add them into your life where you already are because you do need fiber.

You don't have to like redo your whole meal plan all the time in order to add it to your life. Like literally just starting raspberries. You'll be fine. So next is mobility. If you are creaky and inflamed and stiff all the time mobility could be a great place to start. You don't need to worry about protein and steps and lifting and all the things you're like man I hurt so much when I get out of the morning. This is a great place to start. If you are starting from zero do what I did for years where I just did one downward dog a day like one yoga move a day.

I had to start there because when I would be like I'm going to do 10 minutes of yoga a day is too big and I never did it. So you have to do it that small if that's what it takes.

For five minutes in the morning and then do your yoga later. You know you just keep doing a little bit every day for a couple weeks at a time until you stick with it and believe in those small steps and then add another one. One thing one mobility exercise I started adding because I do not have great mobility is when I am like in bed reading I do like ankles circles and stretch my toes because I have terrible ankle mobility and like literally in physical therapy for some of that right now.

“And then in the morning I just do like leg swings I just it's like I'm kicking a soccer ball I just swing each leg back and forth like 10 or 15 times when I would get out of it like that's it that's it.”

You don't have to go crazy just like get out of and swing your legs around a little bit rather than just like walking.

You know all crickety grockety to the kitchen and you can't move still just like just move roller your shoulders while you wait for your coffee do like neck circles you know head circles just bend over try to touch your toes every morning just do small things one of those not all of those do one of those at a time. And then continue to add them rather than starting some like big mobility process that you're just not going to keep going past like three days and side note that is not because you're not a discipline person.

It's because you're a busy person and it's hard to add new things to a busy life that's why we start small okay you're not just in the wrong with you you're a very capable amazing person alright final category is sleep I want saw an Instagram post from this sleep expert lady who showed her whole.

“Like sleep routine like getting ready to go to bed it was like going to the moon like when she peed the masks that she wore like she didn't sleep with the same bed is her husband anymore.”

She had things for her eyes and special lights it was like a whole thing now listen she can have a whole thing and I imagine that whole thing did not start all at once.

But like keep this episode in mind when you see people presenting their entire routine for sleep or strength or anything at all most likely all of those elements came together over time or it's just a real someone made and they don't do that all the time. Just be honest about your own life and trust small steps okay now for sleep you could go to bed 15 minutes earlier than usual like start there even if you don't fall asleep sooner and then after a week or two go to 30 minutes. Then after a week or two break your phone so you can't scroll Instagram while you're in bed. Then after a week or two get in bed another half hour earlier with a book. Then after a week or two of that pay attention to how you feel in the mornings maybe you need to say you're a alarm earlier so you can snooze once since you just love a morning snooze.

Then it keeps you from resenting the day as much back up your wake up time you know just take small steps over time until you get to a place where you're consistently sleeping the amount of time you think is ideal for you if you go to bed at 11 30 and you're like I'm going to start going to bed at 9 and you're not you're absolutely not. But if you go to bed at 11 30 and you're like I want to be in bed by 11 I'm going to try to be in bed by 11 o'clock every night this week that's my commitment that's actually small enough to be doable and then do it and see if it was better.

And then be like let's try 10 45 this next week. Well, and I'm a grab a book and I'm going to I'm going to put plug my phone in over here, but it's going to be on the other side of my thing so I don't lose track of time on Instagram and effect my sleep by looking at a screen right before good about you know like don't go from 11 30 to nine go from 11 30 to 11 15 or 11 that's how you do this. Okay, these examples obviously got simpler as we continue to on but the point is not so much like the nitty gritty of these examples it's just showing you the process the idea is to start small for as long as it takes you to trust starting small.

Truly stick with one change in one area until it finds a groove and then add another one. So if you're listening and you're like oh man I have so many things I want to start small on I understand just hang on and pick one for now okay for this week just right now start with one thing what single change do you want to make.

“What matters the most to you or what are you the most motivated to try for the love just do one thing in that direction and leave the rest alone.”

Now I'm not saying that you cannot drink a high protein smoothie for breakfast if you're focused on your steps.

What I am saying is do not commit to drinking a high protein smoothie every single day while you're also prioritizing getting in more steps and you're also trying to move your bedtime don't do all of those things at once okay.

Things can happen organically in the moment and I'm glad that you chose what matter right then and you're like I'm going to make myself a smoothie great.

“But if you start to track too many desired changes and too many places you will burn out in order to get stronger without making it your whole life you have to start small going the right order and focus on what matters the most.”

Even if you add one small change every month for the next year a pace that right now probably in your ears feels way too slow listen in a year you will have made 12 changes sustainably in a direction that matters to you. 12 12 is enormous and that's just a year you don't have to do everything at once you shouldn't do everything at once start small where you are.

Be kind and wise as you decide what comes next and trust the goodness of small steps one area at a time.

And that's how to get stronger without making it your whole life. Alright when we come back I'll answer a mini office hours question about dealing with trash in the car when the car is far away from the house and then we will celebrate the lazy genius of the week with a great decide once for exercising we'll be right back. There are only 2,3, we'll be right here. The greatest advantage of shopping for me is that we don't need any technical information for you. We all know about the background and the front end and so it was for you to go to the online shop.

“If you have a lot of questions. Why do people vote? How does your food turn into all pre?”

But why? A podcast for curious kids has answers. I'm Jane Lindholm. Join me as we dig deep into everything from the house.

We are jellyfish and jellyfish as we dig deep into everything from science to history, nature, emotions and sometimes even the weir. Why are jellyfish and men of jelly? Or are they being of jellyfish? Find but why? Wherever you get your podcasts. This week we have an office hours question from Christina. Christina says, "I have an ongoing struggle with trash in my car. Eating is a must in my car. Hungry pre teens and elementary kids and lots of activities. We often go from school to activities and then home. My garage is separate from the house and we have to go through two sets of garage doors to go in and out.

I end up with food trash in my car and it's hot and smells bad. Little trash bags in the car do not work as they are too small when we have actual meals in the car. My kids are normally already carrying school bags, lunch boxes and sports equipment when they come in from the car and after a full day, I also have my hands full. Once we put those items away, no one wants to go back to the car for a trash pick up. It feels like a herkily in task by that point in the day. I've tried a trash container in the garage, but since it's separate from the house it just sits there for weeks before we remember to take the trash out and I end up with a stinky garage.

I try to clean out my car, but it's challenging to have time to do it every day before school pick up and the cycle starts again. Any suggestions bonus points if my kids could be part of the answer. Most important to me, I want my car to look and smell acceptable, it doesn't have to be perfect but acceptable, non-negotiable kids will eat in the car. I'm separating these because no one, because one is what really matters to me in the other is ultimately what has to happen. This is such a wisely asked question. Christine is like, "Hey listen, eating in the car matters, we've just got to do it." And I like all the things that you've already tried. That is such an important way of being a lazy genius.

“You've got to solve small problems and tinker until something works. You've been tinker and Christina and you're not giving up on this and I think that's really great.”

A couple of suggestions for you. The first is to ask your husband to take care of it. When he comes home from work, one of his first tasks is to grab a grocery bag from the house and go get all the trash out of the van. Or if he gets home before you and the kids do, you getting home is his signal to go help with the trash. So that's the first idea. You did say bonus points if the kids help, but I'm doing that one first. So just give it to him.

You said your question that no one wants to go back out to the car for trash pickup. Of course they do not. But if everyone wants to have a day, it would likely be more tolerable, you know, because you just have your day like Matt knows his day is Monday and then he's good for the rest of the week.

“Since it's likely just a weekday problem and it sounds like you have more than one kid. I'm guessing that there are enough people, you know, loosely to take a day. You can take one if needed. Your husband can take one.”

But if the kids have a day, they might be more likely to encourage their siblings to gather their trash up to make it easier to clean up, especially when it's their day. It's like, hey man, it's my day. Don't throw that on the ground or whatever, you know. Now the other thought is when this happens. I understand the momentum shift of like lugging everything into the house and then not wanting to go back outside again for the trash. If whoever is on trash duty feels that way feels like, oh, I don't want to have to go back. So just that they do the trash first. You know, it's like, hey Matt, it's Monday. It's your day to do trash and Matt prefers just getting all the trash up now.

Because it actually uses more brain power than like mindlessly carrying a stuff inside. So that's his first job as he's gathering up all the trash. Everybody else is gathering up their stuff.

And then once the trash is bagged up and put in the can, he can go back to the car, grab his stuff and go inside.

“There's something energetically different about doing the trash first because it's annoying. Now that doesn't work for everybody, but it could work here.”

You know, taking regular stuff inside isn't exactly pleasant, but it's like not a hardship. It's just what you do every time. So doing the trash first it might it might make the whole process easier. I don't know. So either give the whole job your husband, share days among your family members or everyone has a day and maybe suggest that they could do the trash first if that feels a little bit easier. I hope that helps. And if it doesn't keep tinkering, you will find a solution. And now for the lazy genius of the week, this week we have Amanda Waters Amanda writes, I wanted to share how I had lazy genius my approach to exercise a few years ago.

I discovered my decide once to moving my body. Most days it's either run walk or yoga. I decided once again with my go to yoga instructor and app.

However, on yoga days this listen, do you already hear how Amanda's like starting small? It's like I'm deciding to do this. And then she like zones in on which yoga instructor she's going to use this is really good. Okay.

“Back to Amanda. However, on yoga days, I would often find myself wasting time picking a video. So now I use the magic question. What can I do now to make something easier later?”

And since I usually exercise in the afternoon or evening, I make sure to pick out the video by lunch time almost every day. It seems simple and obvious when I say it out loud, but it makes a world of difference when I am mentally tired at the end of the day.

And even if it doesn't end up being a yoga day, the decision is made for next time.

Listen, Amanda, this is great. You guys, this is how you get stronger without making it your whole life. Like you do super simple things like one thing like pick your yoga video before lunch so that you're more likely to do that later, which helps your body feel stronger. Like this is so great Amanda. Well done. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. In the next podcast recap of email, I look like Luke links to the fiber supplement. I like it's not like a magic choice, but it's worked well for me.

I mean, it is a fiber supplement, so don't like get your hopes up. But if you are in need of some way to add fiber to your life, that's not raspberries and black beans. That link will be in the podcast recap of email. We will recap this episode as well. Last week's episode about dealing with life admin. So if you would like to get that email, you can sign up at the lazy genius collected.com/recap. It'll go out this Thursday.

If this episode was helpful to you, share it with someone you know or leave a review on Apple podcasts. Both are small ways to support the show, but hugely helpful to us, so thank you so much for your support. This podcast is part of the Odyssey family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, produced by Leah Jarvis, an executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jennifer Sure and Angel McKenzie. Thanks y'all for listening, and until next time, the agitis about that things that matter and lazy about things that don't.

I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week. [Music]