Kindly Living with Your Kids All Summer Long

Hey there! You're listening to the lazy genius podcast, I'm Kendra Adachi.

“This podcast is not about hacking the system to find more time, or hacking your energy to get more done.”

Hustling to be the best, or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently. On this show, we value contentment, compassion, and living in our season. We favor small steps over big systems. Here we are lazy geniuses.

Being a genius about the things that matter, and lazy about the things that don't, and I am so glad you're here.

Today's episode 474, kindly living with your kids all summer long. To those of you without kids, thank you for being here, and I'm sorry this episode is not as relevant to you this week. However, I do think that if you live with anyone, there are things in this episode that could help you. Maybe not the part about noise, unless your partners just like super loud during the summer, but this is a relational episode. This is an episode to help us be kind people to our people, particularly in the summer season when kids are usually home.

Like we all want to be kind, we want to be thoughtful about how we treat each other, and in the pressure cooker of a weird summer, kindness and thoughtfulness might get like a little compromised. So today I'm going to share seven typical obstacles to being home with people for a long stretch of time. Things like mess, interruption, bad attitudes, and how to approach them from a kind lazy genius perspective.

“After that, we'll have a little extra something where I share an update on my word of the year. I don't know if any of you remember what it is, nor should you, but I'll tell you what that word is not in a thriving state right now.”

So I will share how things are going with that word. After that update, we'll celebrate the lazy genius of the week with a great summer snack hack, and we'll finish with a mini pep talk for when what you try doesn't work. Sometimes the dependable things that help us get out of a funk or help settle life a little bit. They don't always work the way we expect them to, so I have some words to help anyone who is struggling with that. We're going to mostly get into the episode right away today, but I did want to remind you that if you have a specific summer problem or frankly any problem at all, there's a really great chance we have done an episode about it already.

So if you ever want to help lazy geniusing something, just search lazy genius and then whatever word you're wanting. So let's say you're wanting help with lunch. If you search lazy genius lunch, you'll find episode 84, the lazy genius guide to lunch episode 276, how to pack lunch for work, and then a bonus episode about packing school lunches. There's also a link to a blog post that shares the chickpea bowl, which is one of my favorite super easy dump and stir lunches. Really whatever you're dealing with, search it, and you will almost certainly find some episodes, or even blog posts back in the day when I wrote those, that can help.

That's also very true when it comes to summer, like we have so many episodes that can help you with different kinds of summer problems, so just search what you need if it's not at the top of your lazy genius podcast feed right now. But today is all about kindly living with your kids all summer long, or if you're homeschooling parent, just kindly living with your kids.

“I think there are seven primary obstacles that make it harder to kindly live with kids all summer long.”

Mess, noise, interruptions, saying the same things over and over again, inconsistent schedules or rhythms, bad attitudes, and then your own guilt. So we're going to talk about all of those, so whichever one of those just in that list is speaks to you already, and it's very hard, you will leave this episode with some help.

Now, the first obstacle is mess. When everyone is home all the time, a home is going to get messy. Now, lucky for you, we just talked about that last week.

Last Monday was episode 473, how to deal with the messy house all summer long. I shared three things to remember, expect the mess, and let go of everything being tidy once. See mess as evidence of life and live in your season. Then you're going to pick one category and one room that will get the majority of your tidying attention. If that room is good, the other rooms feel better. If that category is good, the other category is feel better. Like that's the general idea.

There is also episode 423, how to get unstuck when your space is a mess. This is an episode from last summer, and that is definitely a time when your space is always a mess.

That episode has some really good questions and tips for you, but one of my favorites is asking yourself the question, is this a problem? Or is this a season? That'll cut right to the heart of it right there. Like your mess could be an actual problem, something that needs small steps and consistent tending, but it also just might be the season. You will handle those two things differently. So it's a good question to ask. Lots of good stuff in that episode too. So if you need help with mess, I'm not going to get into that here today because I already have and I want to get into the other six things a little more in detail.

But if you would like help with mess, you have episode 473 episode for 23, which are 50 weeks apart, because clearly we need help with mess in the summer. All right, so let's take a quick ad break before we get into the other six obstacles to kindly living with your kids all summer long.

“Thanks to our sponsors who make this episode free for you to listen to. And if you're listening while you're out for a walk or folding laundry or something where you can't take notes, you should sign up for the latest lazy listen's email.”

It is a podcast recap that we send out every other Friday and it summarizes the episode so you don't have to. So if you would like that, you can sign up at the lazygeneescollective.com/lissons. So let's take a look at this podcast recap and let's take a look at this podcast recap and let's take a look at this podcast recap and let's take a look at this podcast recap and let's take a look at this podcast recap and let's take a look at this podcast recap and let's take a look at this podcast recap. And let's take a look at this podcast recap and let's take a look at this podcast recap and let's take a look at this podcast recap and let's take a look at this podcast recap.

And let's take a look at this podcast recap and let's take a look at this podcast recap recap and let's take a look at this podcast recap recap. Alright, let's dive into the other six obstacles that make it harder to live with our kids all summer long.

“By the end of the episode, we will have kindly come out on the other side. So the first obstacle is mess which we already talked about.”

This second obstacle is noise. Summer is loud, children are loud, playing is loud, arguing is loud, plus noise begets noise.

You know, like if you've ever sat in a room filled with many people and there are multiple conversations. Like at a restaurant or at a, you know, in a retreat center or whatever, like those conversations, they slowly get louder all at the same time because everyone is like talking over each other. And it just gets noise here in noise here in noise here in noise here. That happens at home too. So what can we do to kindly live with noise? Three ideas. First, reframe of the noise. That should not come as a surprise. We love to reframe things around here.

Just like we look at mess as evidence of life. We can look at noise the same way. It's just evidence of people being together.

“Like kids are noisy. And if we expect them to be noisy, we're less bothered by it. Like it becomes more of a neutral thing, right?”

Until it's not until you're like, and we're done. So if you are, if you are a past, like you're past the reframing phase and your kids are just being so loud and you cannot see straight like no amount of mindset shift is going to fix that.

Here's your second idea. Just ask them to be quieter, but for a good reason. Like be reasonable and your request.

Be human in that exchange. For example, if your boys are wrestling and screaming and you're about to lose your mind. You don't have to go out to them and scream, can everybody please be quiet? That's probably not going to work for long anyway, because the kids, they're not bothered by the noise. They're just playing. You're telling them to stop something that they don't even notice. And they don't understand the difference in what they're doing and what you're asking them to do.

So you gotta explain it. The reasonable in your asks. Taylor, what you say to your kids ages and personalities and all the things, but essentially explain what you need.

And when you all get to this level of loudness, like to this level 10, somebody usually gets hurt.

“So maybe let's like bring it down a few levels before that happens. Like what you got right now is a level 10. Let's bring it down to a six, okay?”

Or you might say, hey, so glad you all are having fun. I'm starting to get a headache though. And the extra noise is not helping it go away. I do want you to keep having fun, but do you think you can keep playing, but also bring the noise level down from a 10 to like a four or five. Can we try that? And then if you all get back up to a 10, I think we just need to take a break from this particular game because my headache needs something quieter. Right. Now listen, if your kid is too that doesn't work, but like be reasonable in your asks explain what's going on.

Make it specific and clear. Don't just yell at everybody to be quiet. That's not going to work for anyone and all it does is make you angry because they're just going to get loud again.

So reframe noise as just like life and play be reasonable when you ask for kids to get quieter. And then the third idea is to have a set quiet time every day.

Sometimes it's easier to deal with noise if you know that quiet is eventually coming. So every day, maybe after lunch or before dinner, before bad, whatever you need, start creating quiet time for everybody. If your kids can't be quiet with their siblings, separate the siblings. If your kids don't know how to play quietly on their own, give them specific quiet time tasks like reading or art or playing trucks in their room. Adjust the activity to the kid, but they might need help knowing what to do during that quiet time if that's not something that's typically in your schedule.

But a family-wide time that you have every day that's quiet. Man, when you know it's going to come at the end of the day or that it's going to be their tomorrow, they're such a gift. It's such a gift to everyone actually to learn how to be quiet and to play on their own or to rest their brains or whatever.

“So that is how to live more kindly with noise, okay?”

The third obstacle is interruption. How can we kindly live with interruption?

Quite literally just a few minutes ago. My kid came in the room like we were mid-conversation. And said, "Hey, do you know what else I need?" and then started listing off all these things he wanted for his room. Now I'm working. He knows I'm working and he interrupted me with something we had not talked about in precisely three days. Which happens often? Interruption is a major part of living with kids all summer long. You're working, doing chores, reading a book, you're on the phone, you're exercising, you're making dinner, you're taking care of another kid, all sorts of things.

And then somebody comes in with one objective to ask or tell you something and it cannot wait. That can train a person real fast. So how can we handle interruption kindly?

First, I personally like 100% take a deep breath before responding to the interrupting person.

Because I'm a reactor and so it's good for me to like keep that reaction a little bit more tempered. I also tried to not interrupt the kid back. Like I know by letting them interrupt me, I'm like not setting great boundaries for them, not interrupting me. But it also doesn't feel like I'm doing a lot of good if I just interrupt them back. You know, if they start saying something, then I'm like, "Hold on, you're interrupting and I just interrupted them."

So I usually let them say their thing, like I look them in the eye when they're talking to me. I take a deep breath or like seven while they say whatever it is that they're saying. And then I might answer them with like whatever they were asking for, or I will say, "I hear you. That is not a problem I can solve right now." Or something similar.

And then I will usually remind them after the fact that I'm doing something and that they interrupted. Like I know this hit you and it matters to you and you wanted an answer, but remember, I'm also doing something that matters to me too.

“So try and remember that the next time, okay?”

That can be like a go-to in those moments of interruption with that are just kids being kids. But you're still being kind to them in the process. Now another take is to hold expectations of being interrupted or being uninterrupted very loosely. Like don't listen, don't start something in your house and think that you're not going to be interrupted, you will be. So expecting it, I think really helps, it helps your patients.

That it also gives you time to decide how you're going to respond. Like you can explain, you can know this ahead of time.

Like you get explained that you're not available for the next 10 minutes, right?

So either they need to wait for you or figure it out themselves. Have an answer ready if they do interrupt you in those 10 minutes, you know? But hold the expectation loosely that they're going to leave you uninterrupted. And you'll likely have a better time responding when it does happen. And then a final take is when you really cannot be interrupted, right?

Like maybe it's a work call or you need an app so bad, and it's one of those, like don't get me unless someone is bleeding a lot of blood situations. I think it was Heather McFaden, she's host of the podcast Don't Mom Alone, who I think I heard this from her, where she would wear like a funny looking hat. Whenever she was working, and that was the cuter her kids to not interrupt her. It was her like don't bother mom hat or whatever. So you could have like a visual cue, like a hat or a sign on the door.

You could have a little box where a kid can write down the question or thought while they wait for you to be done with whatever you're doing.

“You can have like a plan B person when you need to go take an app.”

So like tell your kids that one of them is in charge for the next 15 minutes while you go take your nap. So like hey kids, if you need something ask your brother Jerry, like set guidelines for what the kids need to do. In order to not interrupt you. And the more you practice this, the more the kids know what to expect and you don't really have to explain it every time. Like I can say hey guys, I'm going to take a timer nap and they're like cool.

And they know to not bother me until I come out of my room. It's great. It didn't start out that way, but that's how it works now. Okay. So look them in the eyes.

Don't interrupt them back.

“Be honest about the interruption and explain why it's kind if they notice when you're doing something.”

And have like a visual cue or some sort of plan B option when you cannot be interrupted. Those are just a few ways to deal with interruptions kindly. Okay. The fourth obstacle is repetition. It can be super hard to live kindly with kids all summer long when you feel like you say the same things over and over and over and over again.

Like you're referring the same fights. You're reminding them of the same rules prompting them to brush their teeth for the 17,000th time. It's like a whole thing. So how can you deal with that repetition kindly?

The first thing that's kind of a bummer but true is just to be patient.

Like kids need a lot of reminders. They do unless they have like a naturally responsible bent. You know, you might have a kid who just has like super high executive functioning skills and can kind of run their own show and they don't need repetition and reminders. It's different but most kids are going to need that. So expect it and be patient with them.

I think this is particularly challenging with neurodivergent kids. So my son has ADHD. He does not remember things well. Like his optic is now or not now. So unless something is under his nose and absolutely needed, he's not going to think to do it.

It's why he needs reminders from a person or from a list or from an alarm to do something. He'll go hours without eating because his stomach hasn't prompted him yet that he's hungry. It's just how his brain works.

“So a deep breath before a reminder like another repeated reminder that helps me remember that.”

Like he's a kid that needs reminders and I can help him learn how to create his own while he's still at home. Another way to kindly handle repetition is to lean into the fact that you have to do it and decide once what you're going to say. So like you might say make sure your teeth make sure you brush your teeth before 10 a.m. please like that's the mantra every time make sure you brush your teeth before 10 a.m. please.

Like don't ask each individual kid if you brush your teeth or get into that push pull of like why do I always have to remind you to brush your teeth.

Just decide once what you're going to say during a particularly common repetitive time of day and then just say it. Like being a bit more robotic or chirpy or almost like a Mary Poppins about it. It almost helps keep you above the emotional fray of having to ask or tell the same thing again. Even if you're frustrated by it just like force the tone be a happy robot decide once what you're going to say and say it. Be make sure you brush your teeth before 10 a.m. please like it'll make the frustration a little lower and you kinder.

Okay, so that is repetition. The fifth obstacle is inconsistency. Oh my goodness summer with all of its changes in weird rhythms and camps one week and storms the next and family trips and drivers added like who actually. What's happening when the schedule is inconsistent when the rhythm of the day is inconsistent.

It just like knocks you off kilter simply by existing.

So how can we deal with that inconsistency kindly. Well, even the season that's the biggest thing don't try and force the the square peg of a consistent season into the round hole of an inconsistence summer. It just doesn't work and the more you try the more frustrated and potentially mean you're going to get you have to live in the season. It's probably this way every summer and you have survived other summers. You're going to be okay. I think this is a place where productivity culture gets in our crawl.

We think that optimization and like a series of great days and consistent schedules and all the things like stacked on top of each other. That makes happy memories.

“It makes happy children. It's evidence that we know what we're doing. Also remember that productivity culture loves to build one day on top of the next.”

That's that whole like if you're not growing your dying nonsense. We've been taught this idea that if we're not building upon each day that we're wasting our life. Then I vehemently disagree. You don't have to treat your life like a project to build. It's just your life like one day to time man try to be content where you are today. Be kind today living your season today. If you don't approach today like it's part of a series of tomorrow's, that's fine.

You don't have to build your life that way. So summer is often one disconnect today after another disconnect today. It's a little bit like waking up in the movie Groundhog Day except it's not all exactly the same. You might it's like mostly the same but you might have a sick kid or you have like gymnastics camp or some library crawl that sounded really fun two weeks ago.

“But sounds terrible now like superimposed over the same day over and over again. Like I think that's what summer often feels like.”

And I just want you to know that's okay. In fact, that's like what summer looks like for a lot of people. You don't have to create these consistent rhythms every day in order to make it all calm. You can accept that your days are going to be pretty different. And stop trying to control them all and string them together like some big project. There's nothing wrong with creating those repetitive things.

But if you're doing that because you think that's the only way and it's actually draining you because that's not how your season works. Like, oh, just like, oh, it doesn't matter. Now, you might find some help. You might feel some relief by creating something one thing that is consistent every day. That helps you stay a little more grounded.

Maybe it's like knowing what's for lunch or knowing what's for dinner. Maybe it's that quiet time I mentioned earlier when we talked about noise. Maybe you can take a walk around the block every day in the morning like right when you wake up, even if it's raining or even if you're tired or even if you go really slowly. You might read for 10 minutes.

You always reset the kitchen, but no other room at night kind of like we learned in last week's episode about a messy house.

You can decide some kind of anchor that keeps your days a bit more tethered. If you need that, it can help you stay rooted in your season and not feel like you're completely floating. That's beautiful that you can't do that with everything. You can't take root in every inconsistency and expect it to suddenly become consistent. You get, it's not gonna work. Choose one thing.

Route down in one thing. Keep it anchored every day as much as you can and be kind when it doesn't. But don't try to do that across the board. It's not gonna work and it's just gonna make you frustrated. Okay, so how do you live kindly within consistency? You live in the season? You forget productivity cultures obsession with consistent optimization and just anchor in one place that matters.

Create consistency in one thing if it can help you stay on the ground a bit more until you're back in a more consistent season. Okay, the sixth obstacle is bad attitudes. Yours and the childrens.

“Frankly, I think my attitude gets in the way a lot more than theirs do, so how can we deal with bad attitudes kindly?”

The first idea is to me the most important.

Don't let their bad attitudes turn into yours. Like, stay above the bad attitude. Some of you are really good at this. You're just unbothered by your grumpy children.

And you just like go on with your life, you're unaffected.

I am not that kind of person. I wish I was, but I am not.

“I've told the story before, but I will never forget a conversation with my friend Hannah on Mother's Day.”

A couple of years ago, I asked her what she was doing for Mother's Day that day, because we were church that morning and Mother's Day is on a Sunday. And she was like, I think I'm going to drag everyone to go on a hike with me. And I was like, um, won't they complain? And she was like, yeah, but that isn't bothering me. I want to go on a hike with my family. And then to me, that was like the absolute worst thing to do on a Mother's Day is like willingly put myself in the path of bad attitudes outside to boot.

Now, it's because other people's bad attitudes, not even just my children, like strangers, become mine so quickly. I am such a sponge for grumpyness. It's horrible. So it is like a personal priority for me to breathe through the stink, through the stink that the other people bring and stay above the fray. Now, I do this more easily with certain kids of mine than others, but it is something I have to actively choose and practice because it's such a struggle for me. But I know that it matters.

So that's my own work. It's just to like, stay above the fray of the bad attitudes and not let their bad attitude become mine. Just stay neutral, stay calm, stay above it.

“I also think it's really important to validate their bad attitude, like, see it, you know?”

And set expectations for something different.

Like, this is always our quickest way out of a funk at our house is validate what they're feeling.

Don't tell them to like buck up or stop acting that way or whatever. Like, I have bad attitudes too, so do you. Nobody wants to be told to like get over it when they're already mad. Nobody wants to be dismissed when they're mad. So validate the feeling that you also don't need to just leave it there, right? Set expectations for something different.

Explain what you hope happens in a little bit. Explain why a good attitude will likely make the task that they're avoiding easier. Like, whatever the thing is, set the expectation you have for your kid. So they know what it is and so that you can name it yourself.

You might not realize that you're expecting your kid to be out of their funk in like five minutes.

“So that's probably good for you to know, so you don't get angry when they're still mad in ten, right?”

So I won't name names, but one of my children recently had a bad attitude about tending to their room, okay? Such a funk, such a bad attitude. And I was like, all right, I know you don't want to do this. And I get having a grumpy attitude about it. I feel that way sometimes too.

That's validation. I would like you to work the grumpyness out of your body by the time we leave for the pool, though. You're not going to have a good time at the pool if you bring your grumpyness with you, you know? That's setting expectations, okay? Those two things usually help the kid feel better faster than if I'm just like, why are you having such a bad attitude?

I'm not not not not not. You know, getting on that frequency and adopting their grumpyness is my own. And if you think about it, you would too. You would get out of your grumpyness quicker too. If you had about attitude and somebody honestly and genuinely was like, I know I get it and let you feel your feelings.

And then also shared how your attitude will impact what comes next. You'd probably want to change your attitude. You'd take a deep breath, you'd dance it out, you'd put on loud music, you'd hack a laugh, or hack a cry, or whatever. And then you'd get to it. Our kids need that too.

So you can kindly live with bad attitudes by not making their bad attitudes your own by validating their grumpyness about whatever the thing is. And then also by kindly setting expectations for something else. And then the final obstacle is your own guilt. I think it's hard to kindly live with kids all summer long. If you're wrestling with your own guilt about how that summer is going.

If you have invisible measuring sticks in your head about chores and screen time and family interactions and learning new skills and cultivating independence. And how well do they read alone and play alone and self-sue then help other people and and and and and and you will lose your actual mind. You will not stay soft and kind. All you're going to do is hustle to meet this measuring stick or multiple measuring sticks. Or feel bad that you aren't.

Please, please let that go. Listen, I spent entire summers watching like four or five movies a day when I was a kid. And like those are some of my fondest memories.

Those were some killer summers. I don't want my kids rotting on YouTube or video games all summer either. And we're doing things to like broaden their experiences. But if you live with all this guilt about how you're not perfectly parenting your kids or teaching them all the right skills or getting them to read all the right books or that suddenly they can I don't know. They've got this like sepia tone 90 summer.

Man, you're just going to like wear yourself down to a nub. Don't become a nub. Be kind. Not every kid has to know how to do everything this summer. Not every kid has to be scheduled and regimented. Like summer can be all kinds of flavors and you can release this like manufactured guilt that you're not giving your kids the right kind of summer. Just like be a person. Love them. Have fun. Be patient and kind.

“Name what matters most to you and your family.”

And then let the rest go for now. You can't be a genius about everything. So use your genius energy on what matters and be lazy about the rest. That is of course exactly what we do here. Let go of your own guilt.

Don't let it keep you unkind to the summer because you're being unkind to yourself. Let go. Just let go. So if you are struggling with the obstacles of mess, noise, interruption, repetition, inconsistency, bad attitudes or your own guilt. Remember, you can't live with all of those kindly. There are small ways. So be patient with yourself and with your kids. As you try those small things. As you see what works.

As you practice living with more kindness even when the people are so annoying. Focus on being kind and starting small. And you're going to be able to live with your kids all summer long. Iconic vibes to the best price.

Wow, get with you for a year in the third city.

A couple of years after the high school. I don't have that life like I wanted.

“Stream up on the 13th April, parallel to the U.S.”

I really want a new episode. That's a problem. And you have a part with your boyfriend. There is no need for that. Before I get out of the fight room like "House of the Dragon" and "Wicked".

All of a sudden, two Euro 890 in a month. Streaming won't be so wow. I don't think it's too big here. Really? I think it's a big part of my story.

A story? How do you feel about it?

The story is really amazing.

Yeah, I have a lot of time to come back. Do you have any connections? No, just like that story. Wow. And that's easy.

“Of course, the market is almost automatic.”

Suddenly I feel like I'm so exciting. Hold your money to go. Tie it up with like that story. Alright, for today's a little extra something. I'm going to share an update on my word of the year.

Now, I don't usually do a word of the year. I'm too responsive to my day, too much of a questioner, to just assume that one word is going to permeate my life for an entire year.

They just never been something that works well for me.

But at the end of 2025, I felt differently. I felt very much like 2026 needed one particular word. And that word was flourish. I felt compelled to choose the word flourish, because I don't want to just survive.

You know, sometimes we have seasons that require survival. And that's fine and normal. But ultimately, I want to flourish. Well, I have just come out of a season of survival. And I am barely making it on the other side.

I feel like I flourish the first quarter of the year, but not much since. April and May were like bonkers in every way. Nature life moments like my youngest turning 10 and my oldest getting his license. A massive number of activities just crazy. A lot of creative energy because I turned in the manuscript for my next book,

which I shared a little bit about that in the last newsletter. I really can't tell you much more. Other than I turned in the manuscript, you'll know more in a few months. But it was just like the craziest spring. And I'm feeling it.

I do not feel like I'm flourishing. My body is struggling. I'm super tired. And even though I'm out of the chaos of spring, like the logistics and the scheduling and stuff,

summer as a season is not where I pour personally flourish. Like it's a season that teaches me a lot, which I suppose is its own kind of flourishing, but in general, like my natural tendencies do not line up with summer's natural tendencies.

because it like shakes me free of what I usually rely on.

Things like routine consistency and temperatures below 80 degrees. So I'm coming out of survival mode into a season where I don't normally thrive. I don't normally flourish.

“But I think just having that word flourish on my mind is helpful,”

because I can easily see that right now I am not flourishing. My environment to grow is not as favorable as it could be. Nor is my attitude, frankly. I feel more dormant than growing. But that's normal, right?

That happens in plants, in seasons, and in people. There is that saying, as I mentioned before, if you're not growing, you're dying.

And that saying is a pile of garbage.

Stillness is good. Dormancy is necessary. I feel like I'm in a season where I'm not flourishing in the traditional sense, but I'm trying to rest and recover from a season that just whiten the out. So what does that look like practically?

Like what is flourishing? As I just rest and recover, it's sessions with my therapist. It's joyful things, like thrifting and reading and getting together with friends. Prioritizing those things. Thankfully, by the time this episode releases,

both the NBA finals and the Stanley Cup finals will be over, because those games have ruined my sleep. I need sleep so badly, but I also love seven game series. They've been so compelling, and we have a, we have a Carolina hurricanes in there. Come on, now.

Man, I really hope they won. But the word flourish, it's helped me notice what's missing, and what I need. It's helped me see what extra intention I need to support my desire to flourish. At least eventually.

I'm not expecting to wake up in two days just like ready to take on the world. That's not even what flourishing is to me. Like right now, flourishing is tending to the rest and recovery that I'm in. It's making choices each day that put me in the line of becoming more myself again. Like I don't have to mechanize it, I don't have to systemize it.

Like even though sometimes I kind of want to. I mean, doesn't like a, like a daily flourish list sound fun, you know, can make my list.

“But honestly, right now, I don't need a list.”

I just need to be a person and honor what I need today. And I'm glad I have the word in my head, because it reminds me that flourishing has different flavors depending on the season. And I can, I can be patient with mine right now. It's fine.

So that's my update on my word of the year and this week's a little extra something. This week's lazy genius of the week is Colleen from Lincoln, Nebraska.

Here's what Colleen writes.

I got tired of my four children asking me for snacks all day long during the summer. So a few years ago, we implemented summer snack baskets. Every morning, I fill four small dollar store baskets with the snacks I'm okay with them having throughout the day. An example basket might be a fruit, a granola bar, a string cheese, and some goldfish crackers. The children are responsible for managing their own snacks.

And when the basket is empty, the snacks are gone. It teaches them independence and gives them a bit of agency over when they get a snack, plus saves me from hearing 900 snack requests throughout the day for 10 weeks straight. Snacking is a whole thing, especially during the summer. In fact, we have an entire episode about summer snacks.

It's episode 365, a snack episode, because dealing with all the questions about snacks can be like deeply annoying. So Colleen's idea of a snack basket is a great one. There are a lot of ideas like that from listeners and readers in that snack episode. It's like weirdly robust for just being an episode about snacks. So go listen if the snacks are driving you crazy and you can get some ideas.

So thank you for sharing your idea with us Colleen and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. And now let's close with a mini-pap talk for when what you try doesn't work. In seasons like this one where everything isn't a weird rhythm and you need like more emotional support than you might usually need, you're going to try things to feel better, right, to make you feel more like yourself. You might have your tried and true list of ways to get back to yourself, like taking a walk or talking with a friend,

or digging in the garden, or playing music, whatever.

“But what happens when you try that thing and it doesn't really work?”

Like you take the walk to calm down, but you still feel scattered when you're done. Or you talk with a friend who usually makes you feel great, but she was distracted or like in her own feelings today, and something about the conversation just like left you feeling worse than you felt before. Or you dig in the garden, the ground is hard, or the sun is extra hot, or you come to find out that something that you planted earlier in the season is officially dead. This happened to me the other night, I was in a funk after a long day.

Dinner was mid, like I just felt kind of crumming.

“So I pulled out my notebook where I draw faces, specifically right now, I'm drawing faces of the characters in the books that I'm reading,”

and I caught up on a couple of faces of books that I'd finished and I'd missed drawing the faces.

Now listen, I'm not a great artist, I am creative, I have moments where something that I make turns out pretty cool.

But often what I draw are paint, it's like fine, it's not a great, some of it's pretty bad. Well that, this is a specially true, on this particular night, I drew this like imaginary person's face, and as I was doing it, I was almost laughing at how badly it was going.

It was frankly like a really, really bad drawing, and I felt disappointed, I wanted the art to make me feel better.

I wanted to make something and look at it and like I don't know, breathe some sigh of relief that like at least I made something pretty on a frustrating day, yeah, I did not, it was not pretty, I did not feel better.

“So when that happens, I just want you to remember one thing, the goal, the goal was not to feel better, the goal was actually taking the time to try.”

Like if your walk was a bust, be kind to yourself that you took one at all. If you're talking to your friend was a bust, be kind to yourself that you called her when you needed someone, and you're going to do it again the next time. Like I drew a face, even though it was not a good face, but I drew a face, I made the choice to do something to help me get back to myself, and even if it didn't work, it was still a wise choice, and it's still a choice to make again. And while we do hope to feel like more like ourselves, after that choice, the result is really out of our hands. So like, Stuart, what you have, and keep making the wise choice to care for yourself, even if it didn't work today, even if it didn't work today.

“And that is a peptop from when what you try doesn't work.”

If this episode was helpful to you, or if you have been looking for a way to support the show, please share this with someone that you know or you can leave a kind review on Apple Podcasts, every mention and share it makes a difference. And turning more people into lazy geniuses, so thank you so much for being supportive. This podcast is part of the Odyssey family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, an executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jennifer Fisher, and Angela Kinsey, special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production.

If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest lazy listens email that goes out every other Friday. You can head to the lazyginesscollective.com/listen to get it. Thanks y'all for listening and until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, I'll see you next week. [Music]