Office Hours

is not about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more done, hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently. On this show, we value contentment, compassion, and living in our season. We favor small steps over big systems. Here we are lazy geniuses, being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about things that don't.

“And I'm so glad you're here. Today is episode 480 office hours. So I think this is our 15th”

office hours episode. I started back in 2023 taking your questions from email and Instagram and answering them here on the podcast. One of the greatest benefits of being a lazy genius is learning how to solve problems in a smarter, smaller, kinder way. And these office hours episodes are kind of like us getting in our reps. Even if these problems are not your problems, it's great practice to see how lazy genius principles can impact quite literally every single

problem out there. Today we have some questions sent via email and a number of you email us at

hello at the lazy geniuscollective.com and you will always get a human reply if you do that some

of those emails are questions that need answering and today we're going to tackle everything from cleaning the shower to figuring out how to get a system for chores to work after that for today's

“a little extra something y'all today is my wedding anniversary. Cause and I have been married for 24”

years today, August 3rd. So I'm going to share a few nuggets about the guy behind the lazy genius. As always, we'll celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week is a really meaningful lazy genius. We've got this email from Don a while back and it moved everyone on our team so much that we asked him if we could share his message on an episode. So that'll be at the end, followed by a mini-pap talk for when you haven't been alone in a very long time.

Alright, we're going to jump right into a question here. But first here's just your quick reminder that our next pair of monthly newsletters. Those will hit your inbox as this coming Wednesday, August 5th. The latest lazy letter and the book list are the two beloved monthly emails we

sent and they always go out on the first Wednesday of the month and that is this week. So if you

would like to read reviews of all the books I read in July or if you'd like to hear about the metabolic health rabbit hole I've gone down and some other random personal stuff, you can sign up today and get the emails this Wednesday. So for a letter you're going to go to the lazygenuscollective.com/join and for the book list go to the lazygenuscollective.com/booklist. All right, let's answer one quick office hours question before we hear from our sponsors. This is from Melissa. I am a mom of a 12

and a half-year-old boy who is a year-round baseball player. I work full-time for a large mid-Atlantic law firm as a paralegal and a very busy trust in a state's practice and I have no

flexibility in my work hours. My husband is amazing and that he helps with household chores. I'll be

at the ones he wants to do. My problem is that each time I try to implement a new system to stay on top of cleaning, meal planning, laundry, exercise and family-related emails. I either get frustrated and give up before I even start or something like illness, unexpected obligations, exhaustion at the end of the day, etc. derails my intentions. I would love some advice as to how to get a simple routine in place and actually do it. This has the easiest answer ever. The reason that implementing

a new system doesn't work is because systems are not built. They grow. You cannot decide in one fell swoop, what day and order you're going to do everything and then expect it to stick. Y'all, if that worked, we'd all be doing it. Even the most disciplined people cannot maintain a multi-part system from the beginning. Sadly it's what we all want and we keep trying to get. This is not just Melissa. This is a wildly pervasive challenge and this time of year, like right

before school starts, it's prime time for system building. So I just want you to put down Melissa and the laminator. Just listen to me for a second. You cannot build a system. Not for your home, not for your exercise, not for your laundry, not for anything and especially not everything it wants.

“Systems have to grow and where does that growth start with something very, very small?”

You nurture one decision that matters to you. That makes it different in your home or your day and you keep doing that one thing until it sticks and it works and you don't have to think about it

worst answer ever. But you guys, this is why everybody is so dang frustrated at home. You are trying to build a giant system that catches everything, that you have not actually practiced any of those individual pieces to get them into your rhythm or even see if they work. It's too much

it wants and it never turns out the way you want it to. Melissa is right. The minute something like

illness, an unexpected obligation or just being tired at the end of the day shows that your system

“falls apart. That's because you are building and you have to stop building. Instead, you need to”

start small where you are one thing at a time. Not everything has to sing in harmony right away. If you try to force that to happen, you're just going to be left with noise if we're going to stick with the harmony metaphor. It's just noise and it's shaming noise because you can't get it all done. One thing at a time. Melissa and everyone else who is listening to this and feels related to Melissa's question. What I'm saying right now is permission. This is permission to stop

trying to build the big system. It does not work and it never will. We're all decades into adult

hood and we're still trying to make this happen. If it was going to happen, it would have already. You are not the problem here. There's not something like secret system trick out there or a

“discipline hack to get you on top of all the things. That is simply not how we are made to thrive.”

So stop using the wrong tools. Stop trying to build a system. Instead, start small by tending to one small chore or one small problem or one small moment in your day that's repetitive. Ten to that thing. Be content with whatever gets done today outside of that thing and then start again with kindness tomorrow. The more you do that and that sounds annoying and too small and kind of dumb. But the more you do that, the more it will actually cause household systems to grow

and even thrive. You'll eventually get what you're trying to manufacture now naturally. You're going to eventually get a system, a complete household system that flows and works for your home, that you will not get it by building. You will not get it by deciding that you're going to do

“these 17 things on Thursday. That's not how it works. You get it by starting small right where you are.”

And maybe, just maybe, I've written a book about how to do this. Very thing that will come out in March. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe. Okay. Before we get into the rest of our office hours questions, let's take a quick break to hear from our sponsors, which makes this show for you for you to listen to. Before we do, here's your quick reminder about the podcast recapping email that we send out every other Friday. It's called latest lazy listens. It summarizes the episode. It shares

the lazy genus of the week. And it has a little extra note for me. And sometimes photos that will encourage you through the weekend. So if you would like to get that recap, head to the lazy genus collected.com/lissons. All right. Let's get into more office hours questions. We have a high number of moms in this audience. But these first few questions do not involve kids for the record. All right.

So first step is Megan. Here's what Megan says. Our home does not have a single closet,

nor a mudroom on the first floor, not one. We have quote unquote solved this with hooks for coats and baskets for shoes to replace the coat closet. And we have two free standing armores that we keep miscellaneous things in, plus two console type tables with drawers and cabinets. My question is this. How do I decide what goes in the armores and the consoles and how to organize them? The armores have big spaces with doors on top and drawers or cabinets with shelves underneath the big parts.

They just aren't that conducive to organizing the detritus that ends up in the common living spaces. Currently, we are storing cloth napkins, a yoga mat and blocks, umbrellas, charging stations, devices for the charging stations, blank paper, a toolbox, a handheld vacuum, a broom, my son's school backpack, oversized serving dishes, board games and puzzles, and it's all just wherever it fits. I'm pretty good at organizing other parts of the house, but there is no system here at all.

Should I move items to another part of the house? I try to just keep what we use frequently in these armores and consoles. Okay. This to me actually feels like a very common problem. Like that list of things. I think we all have. Even if you all listening, do have closets on your first floor or in your

put everything in its best place. All right. First and main thing. Not everything has to be organized.

“Like you can have an armore filled with the whole collection of unrelated things and that be”

your organized system. Like truly. I'm not saying this just as like a permission thing. Even though that's true, too, like you can have disorganized spaces and still be a good person, like you're fine. But also you can have disorganized spaces that still work. The biggest word here that I want you to consider and solving this problem is containment. As long as you mostly know where something is and you can get to it with like a reasonable amount

of you know minimum effort, it can just be contained. It doesn't have to be contained and organized or contained and aligned up or contained and color coordinated or whatever. It can just be contained. Like that armore has a lot of things. Again, that you probably use a lot. Like the text stuff, the board games, the umbrella, the handheld vacuum. All of those things are contained inside the armore because there is not a closet for them. But also that's great.

Like you found a place for them that wasn't a closet, but they're also in a place. They're

“contained in a place. They're in their place and that's honestly all you need.”

I don't hear in your the Tony of your question. I don't hear a major like logistical problem with the armore. I just hear I'm good at organizing everything else but there's no system here at all. I hear a should basically. Like you think your armore should be more organized. And I would argue that it already is like guess what it means to organize. According to the dictionary, you guys ready to form into a coherent unit or functioning hole.

Not a hole like a hole in the ground, but you know what I'm saying. If your functioning hole is the armore that appears chaotic on the inside, but actually holds what you need and you quick access to it. That's organized. Like for real, that's organized. You're fine. Now the other challenge that I spotted in your question is in this sentence. They, the armores, just aren't that conducive to organizing the detritus that ends up in the common living spaces. Okay, now this

is really understand. The daily detritus is often small stuff and it just disappears and something big like an armore. I'm still going to use the same word as before. Containment. If you imagine a like a whole mess of tiny things lying about your living room, like let's everybody put on your imaginary imagination glasses. Okay, you're looking at your living room. And scattered about are the remote control, hair ties and e-reader. The icy hot cream that you need for your old

muscles now, pens, guitar picks, a dog toy. All the other random tiny stuff that shows up in your day. Okay, if all of that stuff is like on your coffee table and on the floor around your coffee table, your living room looks messy. And that mess might make you make you sad. For some of us mess makes this sad. Now imagine all that same stuff, but it's in a tray or like a little basket on your coffee table. Like that's a whole different ballgame. Way less mess, even though it's all the

same stuff. And in the same room still. This is excellent news for us you guys. The answer is not to find

some big system to organize all your daily stuff. Just contain it. Right where it is. So Megan, for all of your daily detritus that would disappear in the armore. Okay, my suggestion is still put it in its place and contain it. Maybe put like a small basket on a flat surface of the armore or on a table somewhere in the main living room, like close to it, whatever. It doesn't matter. But like all of the tiny stuff of the day goes there. Like the armore, all of that stuff does not have to

be segmented into trays or organized like a professional came in or like you're going to take a picture for Instagram. It just needs to form a coherent unit or functioning hole. The basket does that for you. Done. You guys, containment is such a win. Just contain your stuff right where it is. Don't worry about a big system. Don't fight the flow of where your stuff wants to live. Contain it right where it is for now. Just get a basket, stick it all in there. As a first small

“step and honestly, that might be enough. If it's not enough, you can keep starting small and”

move forward. But that right there might be enough. Next up is Natalie. Natalie asks,

"I need help lazy genius in cleaning the shower. I've always had white plastic tub/shower inserts

portions of the shower. About a month and a half ago, I moved into a new home with a nice big

tile stand-up shower and glass sliding doors. We got a squeegee and use it religiously, but much to my dismay, it doesn't keep white stuff. I guess soap scum from showing up on the walls eventually. I have a big mental block on cleaning the shower now because I really want the walls to all be scum free. I'm thankful it's very large for a matte tile, so minimal grout lines, but at the same time this means that even breaking up by tile to scrub feels like too big of an

area to feel doable. The tile has a tiny bit of texture, like sort of sand blasted, so it is also less pleasant to scrub than a polished surface, and probably the reason the squeegee is not super effective. The problem area is worse at the bottom, creates a kind of gradient all the way to head height, at which point it almost looks dusty. I'm not desperate yet. They're trying to plan ahead because I already dread the chore once it's really visible to any guests using the bathroom.

Okay, my first suggestion is some kind of shower spray. They make those cleaners that you spray on after you finish your shower to start to combat, soap scum and gun, gun, gun, all that stuff like

“no scrubbing, you just spray down the shower. So leave the bottle in the shower so you remember but”

that might be an option. But outside of that, here's what I really want to point out. I want to point

out the relatability of Natalie's question, cleaning rhythms that once worked might not work again when you move or when you get something remodeled. It's something we don't always think about, but it's totally true. So if that's you, rather than starting over with some like big bathroom cleaning system that's not going to work anyway as we've already discussed because you can't build a system and has to grow, I want you to do what Natalie is doing. Pay attention to what's

bothering you before you get desperate about it. Think through what's different and why this chore is suddenly harder than it used to be, like having rough bathroom tiles instead of a shower curtain, or having tiny children, rather than no children, like there are things that change our habits. So I want you to think about what those are, notice what those are and then slowly try and think of a small solution to get you moving in the right direction. Natalie started out with a squeegee,

found out maybe squeegee isn't the best option here. shower spray might be. Either way, Natalie, I want you to hear me, you're doing a great job of lazy geniusing this problem already, simply by how you're approaching it. But try the shower spray, let us know how it goes. Alright, next step is Lida. Help me lazy genius being an analog girl. I really do enjoy

physical planners, playbooks, calendars, and writing things down. The problem is, my schedule is not

consistent and neither is the place where I plan my life. I'm a hairstylist, so typically, I'll try to do my planning on Sundays, and Mondays are my errand and meal prep days. Sundays, I can plan at home either on my couch or at my dining room table. The problem is, occasionally I will have to pick up a Monday shift, which pushes my meal prep and errands back to Sunday, and now I have no time for planning since I work on Saturdays. And so now I'm

planning in my car and the work parking lot between clients. I'm very forgetful, so it's hard

“to remember to transport my planner and playbook from the house to the car and vice versa. I have”

tried getting a big purse, but shocker, I also like reading a physical book that I keep in said big purse, and now my purse weighs a ton with my book planner and everything else I need. Plus, organization, in a big purse is very difficult anyway. So what do I do? Do I give up on being analog and decide that I just need to be digital? Is there another solution? All right. As a fellow analog girl, I understand this. I'm also sensing a theme in some of these questions this week,

when we are confronted with a problem like closet organization or a chore system or planning our week, we default to the biggest solution because we think that's the most helpful. Like should I give up the way I love to plan and do something else completely different because it doesn't work during this like one particular hiccup. You hear it? That is not no, not at all, please do not give up being an analog planner. We just tend to think that that's what we need to do

that we need to start over. So I want you to catch your, your start-over mindset when it starts

“to weigh that you and it's like, hey, hey, I think you need to do something completely different.”

I want you to catch that, okay? Like big solutions they don't, I mean they don't work anyway. So make what you're dealing with as small as you can until that start-over energy that it can needs to calm down that we don't need it right now, okay? So light up for you specifically. It sounds like being an analog planner is not a problem when you don't work on Mondays.

and you do all right. So the real problem is when you're a work we cast to adjust because of a

“Monday shift and a more packed Sunday, okay? So I have two thoughts for you on those unusual”

weeks. One is to make that week's meal prep and errands and stuff, make it all simpler and take less time. So maybe you could use the principle decide once and you could create a meal plan or whatever it is that you make for weeks that you work a Monday shift. You just know this is what I'm going to do if I have to work a Monday shift. You have a grocery list planned, you have the meal prep planned but it's all like way, way simpler than what you would normally do so that you can turn off your

brain and you can take less time doing that stuff which means you still have time on Sunday while you're home to do the actual planning for the week rather than having to wait until the Monday and the parking lot at work. Okay, so that's one option. It's decide once to make your home, stuff simpler and take less time on Monday work weeks. Okay, the other option is to create some sort of trigger for yourself when you know you're picking up a Monday shift. So let's say you get the

text or the phone call or whatever it is immediately set an alarm on your phone like have it labeled already that says something like grab your planner and playbook since you mentioned using both. And

have that time always set to that alarm set to go off on Monday like I don't know 15 minutes before

you leave or the night before and you go ahead and put those things in your big purse. You know like have the alarm ready to go and when you agree to take a Monday shift turn that alarm on and that will remind you to get what you need. Okay, now I want us to also talk real quick about the heavy purse, the big purse. Would you rather and this is for you to answer that I think out of the answer. Would you rather carry a heavy purse and have what you need then to carry a lot of

person not have what you need on the occasion that you need it? I think you'd probably be fine

“carrying a heavy purse. I think that that swap is worth it on weeks when you have to work on Monday.”

So just choose the heavier purse, you know, just know like ah it's a heavy purse week because it's a Monday week but now I have what I need. You also mentioned that a big purse is difficult to organize anyway which is one of the reasons to not use one and here we go everybody it is organized. It is a coherent unit or functioning hole. We all need to let go of this idea that every space needs to be ordered and lined up in order to count. If a purse full of chaos is good enough for

Mary Poppins it is good enough for the rest of us. So in conclusion light I do not give up your analog ways absolutely not you love them, keep what you love, keep what works, use the tools that already work and then make life feel enjoyable for you. Okay just solve the smallest problem

and see what happens. Hope that helps. Okay next we have a question from Shelley. I have a never

ending issue with my house. It is a disaster, often bordering on Frat House Esk. I am my nature of very organized and dependable person but you would never guess that by the state of my home. It has been this way for years and while I have tried various lazy genus principles with varying degrees of success it just feels like I'm always in a hole and I can't seem to get a handle and things. The good news is I think I have identified a few specific things that could help.

The bad news is I can't figure out what it looks like to make those happen so I'm hoping you can help. Here's what I think I need. Number one motivation. I know I would genuinely enjoy and appreciate a

“tighter home. Tidy or home. I want it for me. That's what matters. I'll sometimes get a surge”

of energy or motivation but that doesn't typically line up with when I have time to actually do something productive. When I do find a pocket of time I often don't feel motivated right then and end up squandering my time. Number two, outside accountability. I am a textbook a bliger who will not let others down when they are counting on me. But I can't seem to follow through when something is important to just me. I've tried to trick myself with rewards but so far

that has not worked. With a love, some of that fabulous lazy genus wisdom. All right, golly down. I love this question so much. I get so jazzed about things like this. This is almost it's like it's like the same problem as Melissa but from the opposite side at the start of the show. The end result here is the same. We all like really all of us want a functioning, flowing, clean home. Like in general, that would be great if we all had those that. But it's very easy

to find pitfalls that keep us from getting there. Shelley's pitfalls are motivation and accountability. Very common things connected to chores. Okay? Gosh, there's so much I want to say but I got

to stay focused. Okay, first thing I'll say is that motivation is not real. Like, I mean, it is,

you want to do it. I mean, I never want to do it. Are you kidding me? I am rarely motivated

with some like inner light or spark that propels me onto the path of chore completion like some kind of optimistic Cinderella. Motivation is not something we can count on when it comes chores, because motivation is as inconsistent as it comes. Plus, Shelley is right. Sometimes motivation does come but it doesn't line up with the free time to actually do the thing and then where does that lead you? So I'm just going to say the annoying thing here. You just have to do stuff you don't want to do.

“That's why I have a whole episode on that very thing. Episode 238, how to get stuff done when”

you don't feel like it, because that's most of the time. If we're honest, waiting for motivation is

like waiting for Gado. He's just not coming. He's not. So you have to take a different approach.

Now, to the accountability piece, I wonder, Shelley, because you're an obliger. If you could find a friend who might also be an obliger, they don't have to be, but maybe they're also an obliger. And you guys like almost like swap tasks. So like you tell this friend, you're going to do this particular chore, one chore, small chore, each day. And then your friend is going to do another chore in her house each day, right? You're both trying to encourage each other.

But you're also kind of depending on each other to come through. Maybe if you need to, maybe

“you could attach some sort of like dollar amount or something fun to it so that like when you both do”

what you said you do that day, it counts. But if one of you doesn't, it doesn't count or it takes away from the reward or that is not how I am personally wired or motivated. So I honestly don't fully know what I'm talking about. But the key here is to commit to each other if that would help. But you got to make that commitment small enough to be sustainable. This is not a big cleaning system situation. This is a, I'm going to tidy my living room every day before I go to bed or I'm going

to take care of today's dishes before I go to bed. Like something that's five minutes, make it something that's small enough to be sustainable. Not, I'm going to clean my bathroom on Mondays and my kitchen on Tuesdays and I'm at no, nope. That's being a builder. That's not what we do. It

“doesn't work. That's why you keep trying and failing and feeling bad about it and then ask”

me questions in an office hours episode. It does not work. So you have to make the chore small enough to be sustainable. And if you each are trying to oblige the other by doing what you said you would do, you both might get into a sweet little rhythm where you're growing a household system slowly and sustainably one chore at a time rather than building something big and waiting for the motivation to do it all, which isn't going to happen. Or another idea actually for rail host something

every week. Like host like a weekly mosh on group at your house to motivate you to do the basics of tidying and cleaning each week. Like that could be your built-in accountability that impacts other people maybe, which you know, you might need isn't a blister, but anyway. Those are my ideas for you. I hope they help and I also want you to know that this is so, so common that we all feel this way. So you're doing great. All right. Let's do a couple more. These are more like family kid related.

First we have Kate. I like can track and not function without easy access to pins. It's true. I used to have mugs and jars of them all over my house, but I now have a nine-month-old who is pulling herself up and can reach onto the tables in my living room and a mug of pants is definitely

not safe. I've moved the mug to an out-of-the-way spot so she can't reach it, and I still always

know where to find a writing utensil. I just have to get up and walk over to it instead of the easy reach from the couch. I'm willing to just live in my season and do that, but I'm curious if Kendra has any suggestions for stashing pins in a way that gives me easy access, but that my daughter cannot get into. This is adorable. Also, it is a very small problem, which are always the most fun to solve, and I want you all to recognize this. Solve your smallest problems. Solve a different

way to store your pins so you don't have to get up off the couch. If that matters to you, that is worth solving. All right, now it sounds Kate. You could totally keep living in your season and keep the pens away from your daughter by putting the mug somewhere else, but I also get the ease of having them right there. So my suggestion is to try another container. You've already put the pins in their

are really the issue here. Those are the ones that are most likely to get pulled down by the girl. So try a different type of container just in the living room, like you can get like an old school pencil box with snaps, or get like a zippered bag, or something that might be harder for her to get into that still keeps the pens close by bonus with the box, like a pencil box. If you put the pins in there, she could use it as a rattle or not. You might not want to do that if that sound

sounds like a terrible idea to add to your life. I don't know. But yeah, that's like my suggestion. Either live in your season, like you said, or try a different container just for the living room,

like not for the whole house, but see if it works first in the living room before changing containers

all over the place. And maybe don't change containers all over the place if it's not really a problem all over the place, okay? Hope that helps. All right, let's do one more. This is Katie, would Kate, and now we've Katie. Katie asks, "I've been an LG follower for years now. I have many of the books, play books, and I listen to the podcast regularly, but I'm having a hard time solving a small problem I have. I was wondering if anyone could give me a few ideas on how to

lazy genius managing my children's legos. I know it seems small that they are the bane of my existence. My little boys love them and want them out a lot. Spread all over the floors of their rooms and our loft room. I've tried various containment strategies, like baskets, drawers, and buckets, but nothing contains them in a way that makes them accessible, but also easy to pick up. Of note, I've noticed that I'm fine with them being out until I'm not fine. Ha ha ha, which usually

correlates with overstimulation the time of the month or company coming over. It's then a battle

“to get my kids to pick them up. What matters, the legos being accessible to them, but not in a way”

that makes them overflow into every floor, nook, and cranny. Okay, golly digs. Such these questions are

like just my favorite. Alright, first Katie said, I know it seems small, but y'all, when you find

yourself saying that, I want you to stop. You have struck problems solving gold when you say that. When you say I know it seems small, but that is gold. Don't ever apologize for being frustrated by something small. This is a gift. I want you to see it as a gift. You have identified something that frustrates you, but it's small enough to actually solve. So be on the look out for that phrase in your life. Like actively look for it. Even when you're listening

to friends, like vent about something that they are frustrated about, like if they say I don't sound small, but if you sense that a reminder or an idea would be like helpful and not just annoying, or you can ask them that, I want you to remind your friend and say like, hey, small problems are actually easy to solve. Don't apologize for it being small. Smallness is a gift. Smallness is such a gift.

“Okay, so the next thing that's super important to notice, Katie, you said this. I've noticed that I'm”

fine with them being out until I'm not fine, which usually correlates with over-stimulation

at the time of the month or company coming over. Okay, so much to unpack here. First, Katie,

you said, I've noticed. You guys pay attention to your frustrations, rather than just trying to solve them right away. Notice them. Notice them. First, remember our plan acronym for my book, the plan, prepare, live, adjust, and notice all of those work in harmony together and it is so wise when you pay attention to what is and isn't working and why. Katie, you've noticed that it doesn't really bother you, though Legos don't bother you until they do and till the mess is just like untenable.

Now, I know that this is a hard ask, but if the circumstances, the actual circumstances are fine most of the time and then suddenly not fine when an emotional shift is involved, it is possible to not change the circumstances, but instead change how you exist within them.

“This is also a key message of the plan. You cannot manufacture your circumstances. You can't do it.”

The goal, the primary goal of most like time and life management is to manufacture the perfect system and the perfect day so that everything turns out great. The goal of lazy genius time and life management is to be a whole grounded, kind person, no matter what is happening. So even if the Legos are all over the floor of your locked room on a day when you are overstimulated, you can survive that. You don't have to necessarily solve the Lego problem. You can breathe and remember

are hormonal or overstimulated. You can tell yourself the truth. This is okay. This was okay two days

ago when I was not overstimulated. And even though I'm overstimulated right now, I can be okay in this. Now, what about when people are coming over? Because that's like a different animal. All right, two ideas here. It sounds like the Legos are already mostly contained to kids, bedrooms, and this loft room. If there isn't already a house rule to keep them there,

“I would encourage you to make one and communicate that house rule kindly for as long as you need to,”

which might be forever. So it's like this. Hey guys, remember a house rule. Legos stay in your room or the loft. And then let them move whatever chaos out of the living room or bathroom or wherever it

is to the room or to the loft room. Depending on that house rule as the reminder to your kids,

it might take weeks, even months of reminders. But that line, like saying that line, is easier to remember than trying to come up with some big system to implement, right? All you do. Hey guys, remember a house rule. Legos stay in bedrooms in the loft room. Memorize it. Say it kindly. A move on. Also, do you notice how it's framed positively? The house rule is where the Legos can go, not where they cannot. I think that language can really help. And that house rule

can keep the Legos out of every single room when people are coming over. And any other time.

“Now, the second idea is, especially when people are coming over, is to invite your kids”

into the consideration of your guests when people are coming over. Like if you know that a family is coming over for dinner and your kids' rooms are like a walking hazard and every way because of all the Legos. Invite your kids into hospitality, into a spirit of hospitality. You can say, hey guys, Charlie and Ben and his parents are coming over in a little bit for dinner and to play, do you think you guys have enough room to play in here or would it be helpful to push some of your

Legos to the side or put them in the basket? Like you don't have to be the source of all the cleaning and you don't even have to be the source of all the decision making and power your kids to be part of that thinking and doing. So your kids might say, Charlie and Ben love Legos, so I think we should just leave them out. And then you can respond with, okay, that sounds good. Just remember

“our house rule, Legos stay in your rooms or the loft room. If you want to show the ground up”

something that you built, let us know and we'll come up here and see. I know, I know that these suggestions are way less fun than like a new Lego organizational system. But listen, my suggestions are actually easier. They're less sexy, but they're so much easier. A house rule is honestly easy. Empower your kids to make the decision themselves. That's also kind of easy. Like taking a deep

breath and telling yourself the truth is cheaper and easier than a bunch of fancy bins that are not

going to work. You will survive if the Legos are all over the place inside their allowed boundaries. If you're having a hard time looking at the chaos in your kids rooms, just like take a deep breath, tell yourself the truth that this is not an indication of being a terrible homemaker or mother or having kids who don't know how to clean anything up and walk past the room. You're going to be okay. You were okay yesterday. You will be okay today. It is better to learn to be okay first.

It's better for your practical solutions to grow out of contentment. If you make solutions out of discontentment, you're going to kind of stay discontent and the solutions are really hard to uphold anyway because you're probably building them too big. I'm sorry it's a bit of a feisty day, but it's just the way it is. So I loved all these questions. I love that you guys send them. I hope that you keep sending them.

We love these episodes. We're going to keep doing them at least once a quarter because like I said at the top when we learn how to solve small problems, when we practice noticing what's going on really. We can actually move forward and making our lives easier and work better and flow because we are solving tiny, tiny problems and letting those solutions grow organically. And then those individual small solutions start growing into each other and eventually you

actually do start to see like a larger, more comprehensive household system. But you're not going to get that by starting from scratch and building it from the ground up. Let's just not go work that way. So I hope that this was an encouraging episode. I appreciate all of your questions and thank you for listening to another edition of lazy genius office hours.

a little extra something, I'm going to tell you a few tiny tidbits about my husband, cause and some

“things that have made our marriage work for this long. So first, when this show was an interview show like”

early early on, cause was one of my first guests and he hated it. He like hates public attention and spotlights. So poor guy, you know, he married a lady who works on the internet. But he is also the biggest supporter of what I do, both as a cheerleader and also as a partner. He is incredibly encouraging of me. He cheers me over every finish line of like big deadlines and stuff. He loves to check where the podcast is ranked every week. He just celebrates everything about the business

big and small. He is also a great partner at home. He shares the load and our household tasks.

He never sees something as like my responsibility over his. We definitely have our individual tasks

that we regularly oversee. You could hear more about that in episode 337, how to lazy genius division

“of labor. But he never like resents me when it's clear he needs to pick up my slack because of”

like a book deadline or a work trip or something else that throws off our rhythm. He's just like a really good man, like a good kind steady man. So we got married 24 years ago when I was 20, he was 27. I barely recognized the people that we were then. Like wow. In some ways, cause and I have like almost flipped personalities, like not really a kind of when we got married I

was like quiet and steady and reserved. Never one at the spotlight. Cause was a clown. Like always

goofing around, making jokes. He was the hit of every party. I was like in the corner and he's, you know, in the center. So being married, it let us both put our guard down and receive love from each other, not based on like those public personas that we had developed to sort of survive in the world. But on just like the real essence of who we both were. And it turns out causes natural tendency is to be reserved and quiet and steady. And my natural tendency is to be more social and

energetic and even loud. Like I'm still steady and he's still a clown. But we're both like more truly ourselves because we got to love each other into who we actually are. So even though you like won't really ever see the guy, know the cosodachi is the real MVP of the lazy genus. He's helped on earth this person right here that's on Mike every week. And today we've been married 24 or whole years. It's crazy penguins. It's a long time. Hopefully we will have at least another

two 24s. Hopefully. And that is today's a little extra something. And now for this week's lazy genus of the week, this one comes from Don. Don wrote in after the episode we did with the

“office ladies about how to lazy genus photo storage for Jenna and Angel. If you remember that”

episode about how we all compared how many photos we had on our photo app. So along with like practical tips that Don shared in this email, he also shared this like little personal story with us. And we asked him if we could share it with all of you. So here is just a portion of what Don wrote in. My wife Kathy passed two years ago after a two year bout with a brain tumor. I was her home hospice caregiver. My ad on trauma was that shutter fly said they would archive all our family photos

on their site unless I did something with them and they offered a substantial discount if I bought something. Kathy used shutter fly every year to make holiday cards and family calendars. So I made coffee mugs of her for everyone who was close to her so they could still go have coffee with her, which is one of the things that they did frequently. Oh my goodness, there's so many things here.

First, Don, I'm so sorry that you lost Kathy. Loss is hard on its own but when it's coupled with like

illness and hospice care, it is such a long and complicated road to walk. So thank you for sharing Kathy with us and this idea of putting Kathy's photo on a mug for her friends so they can still have coffee together. It's like one of the most precious fantastic things I've ever heard. I don't love that your hand was forced to buy something so you could keep your photos. Don't love that but I kind of love that you made the best of it and you created such a great keep

sake for Kathy's friends is just the lovely thing. So thank you for sharing this really heartfelt idea with us and congratulations to you, Don, on being the lazy genus of the week. And now let's

this is a pep talk that I personally need? We are at the end of summer and if you have kids,

“your rhythms could be bonkers right now. It is so hard to be alone when the house is just always”

full of humans. My kids are all double digits and therefore enormous and I still cannot go to the bathroom without somebody realizing I'm gone and like walking down the hallway. Hey mom, it can make a person crazy. So here's my immediate solution. I personally try and choose the

reframe that it's nice that my kids want to talk to me. Now that isn't the case everywhere and

I might not be the case for me all the time. But I'm glad that my kids feel the tether. I'm glad they want my opinion or they know that I'll have an answer to their problem or they just want to be nearby. I mean the nearby thing is practically not a great time when I'm like just trying to put but you know what I mean. My kids like me and that's like wild that's such a gift and when I

“remember that it takes the edge off of the interruption and the constant presence of them.”

The other thing is like yeah we also need to find time to be alone. So go far walk, go to bed early,

shut the door and go read, go have breakfast at the coffee shop, all everyone else eat cereal at home, take a really long shower and make sure the children know that you are not to be interrupted unless someone needs to go to the hospital. Sometimes when we feel the weight of all the people at home we just like tough it out until school starts. That's fine but it's also good to find time

“to take the edge off like right now. The alone rest up, get your groove back. You know you don't have”

to a white knuckle you're way through having everybody around so even if it's short and not ideal still do it, still take the alone time. Every bit helps you come back to yourself so that you can be kinder when all the people are around. And that is a mini pop talk for when you have not been alone for a very long time. If this episode is helpful to you or if you've been looking for a way to support the show, please share this episode with someone you know or you can leave a kind

review on Apple podcasts. Every mention and share and makes a difference and turning more people into lazy geniuses so thank you so much for your support. This podcast is part of the Odyssey family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by May, Kendra Adachi and Executive Produced by Kendra Adachi, Jennifer Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production and Kira Smith for gathering this week's questions. If you'd like a podcast recap every

other week, be sure to sign up for latest lazy listens that is our email that goes out every other Friday. It is a podcast recap email and you can get it by going to the lazyjewscolective.com/lissons. Thanks y'all so much for listening and until next time, the ingenious about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. And Kendra, I'll see you next week. [Music]