If This Doesn’t Make You Believe in Yourself, Nothing Will

I'm just going to come out and say you have picked an extraordinary episode to listen to, because today, one of the

“single greatest athletes the world has ever seen is here in our Boston studios to be your personal coach, and”

she's going to tell you from the very first word she speaks. You are not supposed to be average.

You are built for excellence and extraordinary things. Shelly Ann Frazier Price is one of the greatest athletes of all time. 19 gold medals she's also the oldest sprinter, man or woman, to win a hundred meter world championship. Every time the world said, it can't be done. Shelly Ann Frazier Price proved them wrong.

And today, she is here to teach you how to stop negative thoughts, how to reset your mind for positive thinking. She will walk you through step by step her visualization practice so that you can start doing it immediately and become mentally tougher, more resilient, and more easily able to handle any challenge that life throws your way. Accomplish your biggest goals no matter how old or young you are and look. I understand you and I are not about to go run a race at the Olympics. But you are standing at the edge of something.

A new job, a new relationship, a new chapter, a comeback, a version of yourself, you're scared to become.

“A moment where you're wondering, do I still have what it takes?”

Shelly Ann will convince you, you do have what it takes. What you're about to learn is going to help you turn your dreams into reality. I cannot wait for you to experience this. Before we get started, I want to invite you to stick around a little later in the episode to hear a special segment sponsored by Verizon. Because I'm going to share with you how do I identify all those little overwhelming nagging stressors in your life?

And I'm going to give you one simple strategy that is going to make you feel better right now. You're going to love this.

“Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.”

I am thrilled that you're here. It's always such an honor to be together and to spend this time with you.

But especially today, holy cow, this episode is incredible. And if you're new or somebody sent you this episode, I just want to personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins podcast family. Today, you're going to learn how to build an unstoppable mindset. Today's guest is someone I have wanted to sit down with because she is not just studied greatness. She has lived it and demonstrated it on a global scale. Shelley and Fraser Price is one of the greatest athletes the world has ever seen.

19 gold medals in track and field, including three at the Olympics, eight total Olympic medals and ten world championship gold medals. She has shattered people's beliefs about age, motherhood because two of those world championships happened after giving birth to her son Zion and to put this into perspective. The last woman to accomplish that feat did it almost three decades ago and her last gold medal. Shelley and happened to be the oldest man or woman ever to win the world championship title in the hundred meters, shattering people's belief about being two old to compete.

Shelley and is so iconic and legendary in case you don't know the world of track and field, I just want to put this in perspective. At the 2024 Paris Olympics, Nike honored two athletes by erecting statues of them at the Olympics to celebrate their dominance and iconic legacies.

The first athlete was Lebron James, the second.

Shelley and Fraser Price, who is here in our studios today in Boston for one reason. She's here to be your coach. So please help me welcome the extraordinary Shelley and Fraser Price to the Mel Robbins podcast. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for saying yes. Thank you for traveling all this way. I am so excited to learn from you. You have this energy that is infectious. I feel like I'm in a stadium of fans that are celebrating.

You have an effervescence to you that is contagious. Thank you. Is that what makes you run so fast? Like I don't like I wish I wish it was so easy.

And I have a feeling that you're also about to teach us a lot of wisdom about something deeper than mindset. Yeah, all right. And I'd love to start by having you speak directly to the person who's with us right now. And they may be feeling overwhelmed or full of self doubt or feeling like they're too old or too young or worried about everybody else's opinion. If they take everything to heart that you're about to teach us from your remarkable life so far.

What could there be that could change about their life?

Well, Mel, here's what I would say for me personally.

Growing up in Kingston in Waterhouse, I had to decide. And I think that's the most important thing I would say to anyone that's listening is to decide. It's to say to yourself, I want to move from a place of average to a place of excellence. I've always been taught that I have to be and become extraordinary.

“And in order to be and become extraordinary, you have to decide in your mind, what is it that you're going to hold on to?”

What is it that you're going to tell yourself and you have to really commit to the positive and encouraging things that you tell yourself? Because that's the only way you're going to move from average to great. So that's what I would say. Decide who you want to be. Decide on, you know, just where you want to end up in next five, ten years.

And every morning that you get up, you decide to put one foot in front of the other. And say, I'm going to be great.

I'm going to be extraordinary.

I'm going to be excellence. Because that's the only way. The minute you change your mindset is the minute you start to tap into that unfiltered role. True, true, strength, boldness that we all carry. Okay.

My hair is already standing on end. And as you're listening to Shelley and and she, you're speaking was such a level of intention. Like you believe this. Yeah, I do. And you have to.

You have to. But I can tell that it's about to go down in this conversation.

The energy is crackly and I want to start by asking this question about the outside versus the inside.

Because people see all the metals, all the records. We not only see the confidence you can feel it in your body in the way that you speak.

“But what's the part of your story that we do not see?”

The part of the story, no one sees is the BTS, the behind the scenes, the challenges. Sometimes it's the fear, the doubts, it's the things that we tell ourselves in the moments that will eventually stifle us. And I think for me, I've had to overcome those moments. I've had to really sit in those moments and sit to myself. Well, this is not the end.

This is not it. I have more to give. And I had to talk to myself. I had to sacrifice. Because I think growing up in water holes, dreaming is a luxury.

Because we don't get to dream often when we're in an environment that seems stifling. It seems, you know, just, there's no way out. So dreaming becomes a luxury. So no, you're in this moment where you're saying, okay, then you're chasing metals. You're chasing records.

You're chasing growth. You're chasing excellence. But behind the scenes that people are not seeing is the struggle that sometimes you'll have with your mind. Because we all have that. People think that the champion mindset is just winning. It's not just winning.

It's sticking to your purpose. It's really trusted the promise that you have already made to yourself and go for it. So it's the moments I have to wake up at 5 AM to get to practice. It's the moment I have to sacrifice not going out. Because I'm chasing something big.

I'm chasing impact. I'm chasing that young girl who is in water holes who felt like there's no way out. I'm teaching young girls in my community to understand that excellence does not just belong to me, belongs to them. And it's important for them to understand those things.

So when I sit with myself behind the scene, it's the motivation for my husband. It's my son. It's the moment when I feel okay, then the doubts are coming in. And I have to really say to myself, come on, you can do get out of it, get out of it. One foot in front of the other keep going. It's the injuries that we have to overcome as athletes.

And as individuals, because I think a lot of persons don't know that injuries don't just happen to athletes. It happens to everyday individuals.

“And you have to channel that intention in your mind to say, I can overcome.”

I've been there. It's the limitation that we tell ourselves when people say to ourselves, say to us, oh, you're too old or you're too young or you've had enough. No more. It's those things that you're battling with behind the scenes. So when someone see you stepping to the line, you have already conquered so many things behind the scenes.

understand that the persons who are standing there would have had to overcome so many things together.

Okay, you just said so many things that are wise and tactical, so I want to stop and hover here for a second.

Dreaming is a luxury. Yeah. What would you say to the person right now who's listening? Who says, I feel like I can't even dream right now that I can't imagine something that's possible. You talked about how you really want to be an example to the young girls that have big dreams that have a sense of purpose,

but maybe the world is telling them, oh, well, that's impossible. That's unrealistic. Somebody like you doesn't do something like that. What would you say to the person that's so just head down that they haven't even thought about the dream that's a luxury? It's also a necessity, I think.

“It is, um, I think what I will say is stop asking, can I?”

Stop asking for permission to be great. Stop asking people who have no idea what's going on or what dreams you're trying to chase or where you're coming from or where you're heading. You have to start paying attention and listening to your own voice.

That's the only voice that's important, your voice because your voice is the most important voice in the room.

That's the relationship you want to focus on, the relationship with your voice. The minute you change that relationship, you start to understand that, okay, this is what Shelley wants. This is what Mel wants and this is what you're going to chase. Stop focusing on the voices that are external. Those are just white noise. They're not important, right? Because they don't understand what it is to be in the moment chasing something.

That's great chasing something that you want, that you have committed to, that you have decided to. A champion mindset doesn't mean that you're not going to fail.

“Failure is a part of success, right? So you have to call it on yourself, channel the energy in the voice that is your own.”

And focus on that voice whenever you step into a room, it's your voice that is important. I've heard you say that, especially in reflecting about your career, can you unpack the power of that statement a lot can change any year? One year of being intentional, got me an Olympic gold medal, just one year, just one year, just one year. Because what you did in that year is you change your outlook, you change your approach, so a lot can happen in a year. I've seen athletes like myself go from being nobody to an extraordinary athlete.

In 2007, I was at the World Championship in Osaka as a reserve. What does that mean? A reserve mean I came six. I would be called upon if somebody got hurt or somebody didn't want to run, that's the only time they would call on me. I wasn't the number one, the number two, the number three are the number four. I was number six. It means there are four persons that run on a really, I was six.

So the chances of me running in that relay were slim. I year after being in Osaka, the next year I was a Olympic champion.

So it's not just for me where one year I went from being sixth to being first, it belongs to you as well.

So if you change your mindset, your outlook and you say to yourself, OK, you have to recognize the power of consistency.

“Because I think that's what changed the approach for me.”

I became consistent, the small things. I said, OK, I'm going back to training. I'm going to make sure that I show up at 5 a.m. because practice is at 5 a.m. I wasn't there at 5 30. I was there in the cold because I refuse. I refuse to lose and you have to adapt the mindset, you have to refuse to lose.

Somebody will need to drag you off the field. And I'm not just talking about the track. I'm talking in like somebody has to pull you out. They have to call, they are known to say, oh, take our own, but until then you're staying in. So I've seen athletes take one year and that year they became their humble in a year because they didn't put the work in. They changed their approach.

So when I say a lot can happen in a year, it's the mindset that you become consistent at what you do and you work towards it because you know have a one whole year to decide what you're doing.

Because for me, there is time. A lot of persons say, oh, you have all the time in the world and you think one year for the person who is chasing me the opportunity one year is small.

For the person who is chasing greatness one year is a lot. You have a lot of time. And if you have that time, you'll make a quote. So I want to put you in that moment in 2007 because even though most of us will never be a reserve on a team like that, right, we're going to be in the stands watching you.

“There is an experience that I think we all have in life where you find yourself in a situation where you are really close to the thing that you want, but you're kind of on the outside of it.”

And I'll share a quick story. My daughter is a singer songwriter and she was invited to a like a record release kind of performance by an artist. She really loves and she walked into the room and it was incredible.

But when she left, she had this feeling of saying, I want to be doing that. I want to be known in a room like that.

And those moments where you get close to the thing that you want, your number six, you want to be number one, right? I think those moments really define you because you either collapse and say, it's never going to be me. Oh, you rise. Yes, or you rise and say, it is painful to want something and not work for it. And it's painful to work for it and not get it, but I'm going to go for it. So what changed for you as you were number six, and I take it, nobody got injured. And so you stayed number six. I actually ran. You did. I did. I was, so let me tell you this story.

Okay, tell you this story. So in 2007, when I went to a sock and I made the relay squad for Team Jamaica, my real intention of going to a sock was just to be there, small minded at that time. My thinking was very small, my dreams were small, my confidence small. So I get there and they're, you know, having all this fit about who runs or who doesn't run.

“And I'm like, I hope they don't call on me, because for me, the weight of the moment was so big. And mentally, I think I wasn't prepared for a moment like this. So I was just there, but just being there.”

And I remember the coach calling and said, Oh, you're running. And I'm like, I'm running. And he goes, yes, you're running. I cried because I didn't want to be responsible for any mishap in a relay.

A relay depends on three other persons to take the baton home. I didn't want to be responsible for that. So I cried. And I remember I cared baton home first in the heat, but I didn't run the finals.

But you know what changed for me? What? I wanted to be responsible for my own win. That change. I was responsible for three other people. And I was in off the moment. I was crippled in that moment. And I said to myself, I want to stand on the line and anything that I lose, it's mind to lose. Anything that I win, it's mind to win. And I want to own it with my entire being. And I went home from Osaka. And I changed the way I ate. I started going gym. I became disciplined because I wanted to feel like I had the power and nobody has had that to choose.

Because here I was in that moment running a four by one and they were debating if I should run or if I shouldn't. Or if I was going to drop the baton, if I was going to be good. Whatever. But in that moment, I wanted to make that decision for me. I wanted to make that decision when I stand at the line. And I'm competing. If I win, it's for me. If I lose, it's for me.

“And those things are very important because nobody gets to take them away from you. Nobody. Oh.”

Let's just let that set for a minute. Because a lot can change in a year. I lot can change in a year. What changed the mindset change. That's what happened. I won. Yeah. I'm sorry. Like I left going to a world championship thinking I wasn't worthy of being in that moment. To go into the Olympic Games a year later and being happy and content and knowing that I had the power to win.

That was your dream to make the finals. I'm going to make the finals.

“That was my dream going into the Olympics. I was going to make the finals. And I remember.”

And this is why it's important that the things that you say to yourself are good things, be kind to yourself. When you talk to yourself, your energy should exude positive. It should be strength. It should be powerful. And I remember sitting in the room and I said to one of my teammates, if I win, I am going to do this. I'm going to jump. I'm going to scream. That was me already setting the stage for what's so calm.

So when I got there and I went to the land, I was happy to be there. That's an outlook that changed in a year because this was a woman who didn't want to run the year before. To a woman was happy to be in that moment because I prepared for that moment. So when I say a lot can change in a year, I didn't go into that moment on prepared. I was prepared for everything and anyone.

And I got to the line and I was happy. I was smiling and I was content because I was about to run the race of my life. And I knew it. My body knew it. My mind knew it. Like I heard nobody else in that moment. And I got to that line. It was me against nobody. Because if you want it, you'll have to beat me for it.

And I remember going to the line and the exact same thing. I told myself couple of days before I ran that finals is the exact same thing I did after the finals. What did you say? I jumped. I screamed. I dumped. I did so many things I was on the floor. I couldn't contain myself.

Well, I can't contain myself because I've never seen one of these in process.

I, you brought because we asked you to. You're metal. Yeah, that's my metal in 2008. I became the first Caribbean woman to win an Olympic wool medal in a hundred meters.

“Holy smokes. I got this thing's heavy. Is this all gold?”

I hope so. Wow. It's my retirement plan. This is incredible. What is that moment like? This time like slow down is this out of this thing is really heavy. It is. I think that moment for me, Mel, was a moment that it told me that it didn't matter where you come from. Or how you start. It matters how you finish. It matters how you shop.

Because here's a young girl who is from an inner city, a single parent, one room with two brothers and my mom. And it was hard to dream. It was hard to see beyond your current circumstances, the environment that you're in was hard to see beyond that. And when I crossed that line, it was not just how wind for me. It was a wind for a community.

A community of girls who never thought they would see an Olympic champion coming from their community.

It was a wind for my mom who had me when she was 17. It was a wind for my grandma who prayed for me the day I left to go to college because I wasn't supposed to go to that college. I was supposed to go overseas for school. And my grandmother when I said to her, I remember saying to her, hey, I'm gonna stay in Jamaica and I'm gonna go to school at UTEC. And she said, go, that was her only words go and I went. So for me crossing that moment, it was a wind, a huge wind. For me, understanding that confidence, dreaming and believing what you dream is very important.

It's understanding that there's nothing wrong with fear, right? Nothing is wrong with it, but we shop in spite of. So that's what that moment was for me.

“Wow. What do you want the person listening to know if they're telling themselves that it's too late or the dream is too big or it's too impossible for them now?”

I think what I'll say to you guys, listening is time will honor your greatness, time, that's all you need time.

For a lot of persons they look at the clock and they think I don't have enough time, but for the persons who's chasing excellence and chasing growth, it's never too late when you look at the clock.

It's never too late. I became the oldest world champion at 35 years old when person said, oh, she's too old. She needs to wrap it up.

I won my first World Medal in 2008 when person thought I was too young, I was too inexperienced and I needed to give my spot to somebody else. So when I say all of that, I say time, you have time. You have to shop. This regard, the negative things that you have said in your darkest moments to yourself, you need to get that out.

“Stop listening to the people who have never been in your shoe. You have to start listening to your voice and decide which voice is more important. There's our yours and has to be yours.”

Your voice is the most important voice in any room. So you have to understand that whatever it is that your chasing time will honor your greatness.

It's never too late. In fact, you still have so much more that is inside on top. That's ready to go out, but you are listening to the persons who are the ceiling of the imagination, not yours. I'm dead. Like I'm literally like, okay. We're done here. You're like shandling. Something is true. You are. There is there is like a transmission coming through you. It's a truth.

I can tell. I can tell in the way that you are speaking straight from the heart and with almost like that, if you're not going to listen to yourself, you better listen to me. Yeah.

Like Barrow Shelley's belief in you until you believe in you.

That's true. You know, what's important also is the only dream that hasn't been met is the one that you haven't started. Say that again. I'll say the only dream that hasn't been met is the one you haven't started. So once you have a dream, start it. You have all the time in the world, start it.

Don't go to bed thinking. All right. Some tired. It's not going to happen. Go to bed thinking. It's going to happen. No one can stop me. I'm going to wake up in the morning. I'm going to all those thoughts because we've all been there.

In our darkest moments, we have told ourselves things that are not true. In our darkest moments, we have listened to people who have said things about us who have no idea who you are. Like, how do you allow people who don't know who you are? Who don't know your gifts, your talents? Who don't know what you're chasing and what untapped abilities you have, how can you allow them to determine your future you can't?

Right? The only finish line that you have never crossed is the one you never walked up to.

So whatever finish line it is, or anything that you're chasing, walk up to it.

“You know, it's interesting that the finish line metaphor because that's how you know the race you're running isn't over.”

You know, you haven't crossed the finish line here. It's not over and my coach always said, I remember my coach said, you crossed the finish line, you get another chance. What does that mean? I've always gone to meet and I crossed the finish line and I didn't win. And I thought, man, this is the end of the world and my coach was like, no, it's another day.

You get another opportunity. So nothing is wrong with showing up and losing. You showed up and you're approaching the next time will be different. That's the power of getting to the line and finishing because now you have something tangible to look at and evaluate and say, okay, let me change my approach is just like traffic we take. Go to school in the morning and we drive run one route and realize, okay, I spent 20 minutes in traffic the next day, you have knowledge, no, so you change your approach.

Just like you did in 2007 when you said, I'm going to change my approach. I got an assistant. I got a train harder. I got to change the way I'm approaching this visualization is something that you use in your training.

“How do you use it and how can the person listening apply that same strategy to their life?”

So Mel, I give you on a Friday, yes, when we train, we actually train our minds on a Friday.

That's what visualization is. Visualization is you senior self doing it not perfectly but powerfully. That's what visualization is.

“So when I use visualization, it's important for me to even smell that atmosphere to feel it because sometimes our mind can't distinguish between what reality is and what's really can't.”

I can't figure out what's really hard to pick when it comes to our mind because our mind is that powerful.

So it is up to you to train your mind to see the things that you want to achieve. So when I get to the line, I have run that race many times before I get to that line. And I'm not talking about the day before the race. I'm talking months before the race. I have run on long time. I'm visualizing. I get to the line. I hear the starter. I listen to the cues.

I hear the people from here. I'm going to tell you this when I'm not the line. I hear nobody.

Nobody because I'm not listening to them. The only person I'm listening for is the instruction of the start when the start is on your mark. On your mark is something that I've already visualized. So my body knows when the start is on your mark. It's go time. My body knows when I get to the line I've already seen myself in the block. I see myself crossing the line. I see myself with each step that I take. I feel because I've already seen it.

“So you have to use visualization as a map. It's one of those maps that you have in your mind. Okay. I'm going to point B. So in order to get to point B, I have to make sure that I'm successful at eight at eight, right?”

So you're seeing it. You're going to that presentation. You want to feel it. You want to see it. Visualization exists long before the vision board. Long before it. It's a small step. Visualization is something that you don't have to pay for. You don't need money for it. You don't need no paper. You don't need no pen. You need nothing. You just need to sit with yourself and see it. That presentation, that hard conversation, that relationship, that you probably need to end. That friendship that you need to walk away from and you don't know how to do it. Do it in your mind first. It becomes easier after.

I want to make sure you really heard what she said that Fridays is not running days. Not running day Friday. We are training a different muscle. That's a line champion. You're training your mind. And what I also love that you pointed out is this is free. It's free. Yeah. Yes. And you're built to do it. You're built to do it. We all have the power to visualize. So use it. Right? Because one thing I know about visualization is visualization is preparation. It's me preparing for the moment. If I get to the line and I have not even thought about running the race, then what purpose does that serve.

Right? If you're going for the presentation and you're trying to get the promotion, if you haven't seen yourself in that position, what sense does it make?

“You have to see yourself that big job. You have to see yourself in it. You have to see yourself walking away like in your head. You're going like, "All right. Yeah, girl. You have this. You got this."”

So when you have prepared because that's what visualization is. It's a preparedness. You have prepared. So I've seen the race over and over and over and over and over and over and over in my mind. So when I get to the line, it's just go time. It's work time. It's time. It's time to eat. That's what happens in that moment because your body is already prepared. Yes. Your body knows what we're up against. I remember there's once I went to a mental training on a Friday and it was hard at first. And visualization is practice because it doesn't come easy the first time because I'm sitting there in mental training and my coach is like, "Close your eyes. See yourself in the stadium. And I might can't see."

And sometimes I'm drifting to the beach somewhere. And I have to find a cue to pull your back. You always should have a cue. What's your cue?

My cue is always saying to myself, "That great is easy. That is in me. And he that is in the world."

Because with what you love, you cannot fear. And I love to run. I love to win. So I don't fear it.

“Instead, I get to the line. I'm confident and I'm ready because I've seen it. This is my moment. This is my passion. Sometimes your promises that you have, that's your purpose. Your purpose is the promises that you have already said for yourself.”

So when I get there, I've already prepared to be in that moment. So when I stand that line and I feel like, "Okay, I'm drifting because no I'm focusing on who's beside me. I'm focusing on the the crowd. What's the crowd gonna do? They can't help me." What's the next person they also want to win? So I'm not helping you win. I'm helping me win. Oh, I love that. When you focus on them, you're helping them win. You're helping them win. I don't want them to win. Can we unpack that for a minute? Because so many of us are focused on what everybody else is doing. And when you do that, you're helping them win.

You're helping them win. You're not helping yourself win. Because I'm telling you, they are probably focused on you and you're giving your part to them. Like, I'm giving you no power when I get to the line, I'm an assassin. I'm there to win. And it means mentally I'm there to win as well. So when I get to the line, I'm not concerned who is in lane five or six or seven or eight or one or two.

The reality is I, which is the I, in that moment, the I become selfish. It's about you and how you show up to win.

If I'm there carrying somebody else's baggage, how am I getting to the plane? The plane is gonna leave you. So yeah, don't focus on who is to the left or to the right because you're not going to the left.

“I, you're not going to the right. You're going forward. Forward. God, that's the only way you win. I've never seen anybody win going backwards. I've never seen it. If it happens, let me know what I've never seen it.”

Thank you so much for saying that, Chellian. And I have so much more that I want to ask you because you are on fire. I don't want to slow you down at all, but right now, I need to take a quick pause to give our wonderful sponsors a moment to shine.

But I want you to stay with us because coming up, Chellian is going to talk about why she doesn't rely on motivation and what she relies on instead.

Chellian is so much more to teach you and trust me, we are just getting started. So don't go anywhere. We're going to be right back. Welcome back at your friend Mel Robbins and today you are getting coached by the extraordinary Chellian Frazier price and she's teaching you how to build an unstoppable mindset. Chellian, my next question is this, how do you use somebody that is ahead of you to help you become a better competitor or a better mom or a better that's because I do think that there are those times and this kind of goes back to when you were number six.

And then you got asked to be part of the team and then you have the realization that wait, I want to win or lose from me. I want to stand on my own here. If I'm not paying attention to this person, I'm not paying attention to that person, but I keep seeing somebody else out in the world doing something in a way that kind of makes me jealous kind of pisses me off and also kind of inspires me.

“How do you use somebody else's example in the right way to activate your own ability to perform potentially pass them, you know what I'm saying?”

I understand exactly what you're saying and that's good because guess what, every single person there is in this lifetime have learned something from somebody. Whether they're a winner or they're not. The champion uses every experience to gain an advantage. That's just the reality. In Jamaica, there's a saying that when somebody feeds your meat or chicken, you eat the meat, you leave the bone. It's not the bone. It's not going to help you. The meat is where the substance is. So if that person that's in front of you that you think I want to emulate that person, there's something that she has that I want.

Take the meat, leave the bone, whatever it is that she has that benefits you and you think you can use it, use it. For a lot of us, we are in a shell where there's somebody that we're either jealous of or somebody that, you know, some people would say, I hate this person. But guess what, that person that you're jealous of are probably the person that you hate, there's something that they have that you want. So instead of hitting for no reason, the things that they have that are going to help you to get to your destiny sooner than later.

What can the person listening learn from you about holding yourself to such a high standard, especially on those days when you don't feel like it?

Here's what I'll see. Motivation can change standards, don't. Motivation can change standards, don't. Because standard is who you are, it's what you have, but sometimes your motivation will change. You know what motivates you today, may not be the thing that motivates you tomorrow, but your standards are who you are.

It's everything who I am is not determined by how I feel on any given day, right?

So for me, that's your standard. You have to make sure that you hold your standards on days when it's hard because you know you're building something unbreakable.

“That's what you're standard and you're saying, if you say it says that you know, it's going, you say it's great in his own way, right?”

But for me personally, it's my standards that gives me longevity. It's the things that I hold dear to me, the things that I'm chasing and I want to achieve, and I know I have it, right?

So I understand that on a daily basis, your motivation can change because some of us are motivated.

By probably somebody who rung us and what if you move that person out of the way, what motivates you then? You can't have your motivation be tied to a person. Because that person for whatever it can live, they can't change, they go somewhere else, so you have to have your standards. Some days I go to training, I don't want to train. There's no motivation, but you know what I have, standards high standards.

So every time I get to training, I remember the standards that I have, my standards are excellence. I want excellence, how does one achieve excellence? Consistency. Shop in spite of how does one have standards, they move from a place of fear to boldness. Now discipline is a resident, right?

“It resides there, that's what discipline is that's standard.”

Motivation comes and goes, it sure does, it comes and goes. You know, I'm wondering because it's so inspiring to listen to you, and there's such a rhythm and truth to everything that you're sharing and it's easy, especially. And even if you're in a place where you're just feeling a little beaten down and stalk and as I'm listening, I'm like, yes, standards. Yes, excellence, yes, I'm with you and then I go, what are my standards? What does excellence mean in my life? And I'd be curious if somebody is feeling really knocked down.

And I have a lot of friends that I've heard them say over the years, I don't even know who I am anymore. Do you have any recommendation for how you could set a standard for yourself today that will pull you toward excellence?

“Because there's something that if you had to recommend, okay, if you don't know what your standards are, if you feel like life is kicked you down.”

One way to develop standards for yourself, because if you don't stand for something to stand for nothing, nothing I'm talking. But is there something that you could give the person that's listening? Like this is where I would start if I were starting over and thinking about my own standards? Yeah, I would say small steps, small steps, it doesn't have to be big. Everybody has to start with small intentional steps. The smallest steps you make, the more you can go to the bigger steps eventually, because you're not rushing into it, because for a lot of both, finding our standards take time,

because we have candidates, we have history where because we have done things a particular way for years, trying to erode those things takes time, right? It takes time to get rid of the bad habits. So I would say start with the small things. If it is getting up early in the morning and making your bed, then that's the standard.

And then who knows a week from that you add something else to it, and that becomes a routine, and when you have your routine, your bill, your routine becomes consistent. So you're consistent with your routines and your consistent with your standard, so small steps. It doesn't have to be big, it has to be yours. Can't be anybody else is, it has to be yours. So I don't want my standards for you. Sure, you can use, you can use me, I'm going to eat the meat, but not the bone. You're leaving the bone, and you apply that to your life, and you say, okay, these are my standards, and I can say this, your standards are yours. You can't allow anyone else to make you think that something is wrong.

Well, yours, there's nothing wrong because guess what yours work for you, mine works for me, but it's intentional steps that you take daily, and you start small, doesn't have to be that big grand, okay, I'm going to get up. It's almost like the new year resolution, I'm not a big fan of the year resolution, right? I've been on it because I think sometimes I make those because everybody else is making them.

It doesn't work for me because by the time the second of January come, I remember nothing.

“So you have to make our tailor your standards to you, to your day to day, to what you can start with, and then you move from there.”

Shellian, hold that thought, I realize we can't really tell a sprinter to slow down, but I need to take a pause, so we can hear from our amazing sponsors. And if you know someone who's under pressure right now, or doubting whether they still have what it takes, it could be a family member, a friend, a coworker, copy the link to this episode and text it to him. You need to send a long message just hit share because coming up Shellian is going to teach you how she deals with pressure and give you a simple mindset change that will forever alter the way that you and the people that you love deal with the challenges that life throws at you.

And I promise you, it's going to be exactly what you need to hear right now, so don't go anywhere, more from Shellian when we return to stay with me.

Welcome back, it's your friend Mel Robbins and today you and I are getting a coaching session from the extraordinary Shellian Frazier price, and she's teaching you and me how to build an unstoppable mindset.

“So Shellian, the next thing I want to talk to you about is, you know, one of the things that I think we've all seen and some of us have experienced is how easy it is to let your failures block you,”

whether it's a failed relationship or a failed dream that you tried or maybe you failed at the career or job that you really went for.

What has losing and failure taught you that winning never could.

Mel, in my years of competing, I like to consider myself an expert at truck and I've expert at losing because I lost a lot, but failure introduces us to our part of ourselves that we didn't know was there. The part that we need to grow, the part that we need to approach different failure introduces us to things that winning couldn't show us because when you win you think you have it all figured out. You think all right, I won, I don't need to change anything, I'm good, but failure can introduce it to a part that you realize that okay then my success didn't show me that.

But my failure taught me that hey girl, we need to work at this a little bit more, there's another approach we can try another way can go through this gate and we'll end up by the same place.

“So that's when it came after a loss really yes, some of my greatest win came after a loss remember I came sixth at the National Championship in Jamaica and I went back home and I worked hard and I came back.”

I was in 2016, I had a system where I did my, so there are two small bones, that sounds terrible, so that's some of the night is what is that. I had, there's two small bones under your great tool that's responsible for balance, oh no, right what happened so that's where when you're in the blocks or you're running that becomes the planting that's responsible for the poor that you generate that's a very important little bone very important little bone and I fractured it and I couldn't put my foot in my spike what like we I was in tears.

No, I did not know who I was in that moment because it was so hard because at that point I won 2008, 2009, 2012, 2013, 2015 and here my face with 2016 and I'm saying to myself how do I navigate this space I didn't know how I couldn't put my foot in my shoe. I couldn't do anything in practice, I was out of practice for a while, but you know what I did, I found another way. I said okay then, it's not gonna work the normal way that I did it, but I'll find another way and I know how to train my mind more in that moment and I got to that 2016 world Olympic games in Rio, I came third.

So I didn't become the first woman to win an Olympic three Olympic medals back to back.

What are you talking about? Are you talking about gold? I got the bronze medal. I'd be happy with the bronze. What was the other way?

What did you do? Did you learn how to press on the four other toes and lift up the big toe? I got to put my toe in my spike, I had to put cushion in there and then I realized it wasn't gonna work. So it means I had to train today, not train the next day, miss a week. I had to focus on the things that I could go into the gym.

I could lift heavier, go to the pool, did work in the pool, go to my rehab, did my rehab.

Because here's what failure tells you how.

Failure tells you how. Because when you fail, you realize, okay, the next thing is you know how you're going to do the next thing. It tells you how.

“So you have to don't look at failure as separate.”

It's not the opposite of success, it's not. It's actually a part of it. Fail is a part of success. You can't look at it as separate because in reality, a lot of persons I never quit. I didn't quit, I lost but I didn't quit, I failed but I didn't quit.

The persons who lost are the ones who quit after a failure. I didn't quit. I went back to the joint board and I came back. In 2017, I had my son in 2019, I won the World Championship in Doha. And in 2022, I won the World Championship in Oregon.

In 2022, I became the third fastest woman in the world. In 2022, I ran 10, 6, or 7 times in the season. In 2022, I won the Lawyers Award in 2022. I won. So look at failure as a part of success. Has to be a part of it because guess what I didn't quit?

Here's what I love about what you're just explaining to us.

It's now seem so obvious. Now that you've explained your relationship to failure. And the fact that because you didn't quit and you recognize failure shows you how.

“How you need to change in order to continue forward.”

Like failure is actually a sign for how not to quit. It's a pivot. It's a pivot. If you change your approach, you adjust. You come back again.

Yes, you'll quit. Well, it's interesting because I often say to myself, the things that made me successful in 2024 will not make me successful in 2025. And there's the consistency in the standards. But then you have to understand that often the way to win the race that you're playing or the way to stay in the race that you're playing. Is to recognize when the old way you were doing things,

whether it's how you trained or you're attitude or whatever it may be, isn't going to work moving forward.

“Because that's what failure really, that's what it does.”

It says, okay, that approach that you tried. It didn't work. Can we try something else? Can we try a new approach? Because that's what you do when you lose and you go back to the drawing board.

If you listen to all the speeches are after interviews when a champion loses. And they get this like, oh, I need to go back to the drawing board.

They never say that they say, you know what?

We have to just go back to the drawing board. After talking to my coach. After going back at the videos. It's kind of see where I went wrong. Yes, because the failure and the wrong is the how you're going to move forward.

It's how you're going to move forward. And you're not only moved forward. I've got another heavy freaking medal. Talk to me about this one. This is a big goal for the 100 meters.

And this one's really important to you. Yes, it is from 2019.

“Why is this the medal that you care about the most?”

2019 in Doha after I had my son, I remember when I got pregnant in 2017. I was scared.

I was nervous and here's why I was scared and I was nervous.

Because here comes those little critics that think they know everything. That comes and they tell you, oh, having a baby will just ruin your career. Oh, having a baby is not good for a woman in the sport right now. Oh, having a baby, I'm just going to be turning 30. I think you should pack it up.

But having my son deepened my purpose, right? My son changed my outlook. Because I understood in that moment that my son didn't need me to sacrifice my career. He didn't need me to do that. Instead, he needs to see me chasing my dreams.

So he knows he has the permission to chase is. So when I got to the World Championship in 2019, I was a mom. I've built a full two year old boy. Can you put into context for the person who's listening, who may not really know the world of elite track and field,

just like how many other global champions have dominated globally after having a baby? How many women? Probably two. And you're one of them.

And I'm one of them. How big two are three? Not so. So it is typically the norm that once you become a mom, you're tracking field career.

At least sprinting at this world renown level. It's basically, yeah. Hang on. It becomes difficult.

“And so when I was important for me to continue because I knew”

that the impact that this would have and just, what it would mean for the sport in general was incredible. We're not just for the sport, but for me. Because this is me, you know, understanding that as women, we have to learn to evolve.

And there's always a conversation about our age.

There's always a conversation about us having kids. If there's always a conversation that she's too old, she's a mom. Oh, she needs, there's always a conversation. But your conversation is not my reality. So when I went to the 2019 World Championship,

I was ready. Because I knew the world was dependent on me showing them that motherhood didn't diminish me as an athlete or as a woman. But instead it elevated me. Because no, I stood at the line.

And I knew I was championing a cause for that woman who was probably beside me who wants to have a child but so afraid because of what it means for her career. And we've all been there where we've been told, hey, you can't have a kid because of your career.

You're going to sacrifice. And I got to that line. And I remember running I run 10/7. I think it was 10/75. And I screamed.

I was out of it, right? I did a fist. Like I was strong.

“I remember going for my son who was in the stand”

and I brought him on the track and we were celebrating that moment together. Because I want my son to look back at those videos and understand that. In that moment, I chose him.

Right? I'm walking alongside him. He didn't stop me from chasing my dreams. He helped me to achieve that dream and to get in that moment and to understand our greatest comb-backs.

Are usually born from what people consider failures. Because many persons thought I would just quit and go be a mom but why can't I be both? Why can't I be a mom? And be a springer.

And an excellent springer. Just not I think as women we have to learn.

There's nothing wrong with wanting two things.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a mom and wanting to have the success of being an athlete.

“And that's why that medal is so important to me”

because I chose myself and I chose my son. And we're going to figure it out. Because balance is harmony. And I'm going to make this in the same space. Well, I love that you said that the outside world has a lot to say

about especially women. And what your place is and when you're relevant, when you're not, what you can do, what you can't do and also this messaging that if you choose to be two things or three things at the same time

that somehow it means you're going to be lousy at all of them. I know. Unwise that. I honestly don't know. Because as you're really eloquently reminding us,

you get to decide. I get to decide. You get to decide what it means to choose being a mom and being a sprinter at a world-renowned level.

You get to decide that it is the most powerful example

that you can provide to your son of what it looks like to go after something. Yes. And that by deciding for yourself, not listening to the outside world, not looking around the person here or the person over there.

Right. Right in here. Right here. What is it that I want? What are my standards?

You change the game you're playing? You change the game. Yes. That's the important thing because guess what? No, you leave an example for the next woman

who is coming, who decides. All right, I'm going to have my baby. I can get back to sprinting. I can go run here. I can do that because she landed it.

So I can do it. Yes. So the 2019 medal really proved. Okay, you can be a mom. And you can compete at a global level and win.

Talk to me about the win in 2022. So this is a, this is a super cool looking medal. Yes, that's 2022, I was 35 years old. Now, that seems young to me because I'm 57. I think that's young too.

Like I like to say that, like I like to do the most winter in the truck world as a woman. People think 28 is old. Really? So you're like a grandma out there.

I'm a grandma and sport. Okay. So 35 is like, you should be retired. Kind of situation. And usually a lot of female athletes at that age.

Did retire? Okay. A lot of them did. Because for them, they feel like they had to ask for some, not all. Yep.

For some, they felt like they needed to ask people permission to chase their dreams. They felt like they needed somebody else's opinion on when it is that they should tap out. I needed nobody's permission. But my own. As I said before, as I said, great as he, that is in me and he, that is in the world.

There is absolutely no fear in love. Because perfect love, cast or fear. I love what I do. I don't fear it. I love it.

There's a sense of boldness when I step to the line and when I'm chasing something.

Because here's what's gonna happen.

It's mine. I'm not taking anybody's spot.

“And if you want it, you have to comfort.”

Yeah. I would love to have you put us at the line. You're 35. Yeah. 35.

There are a lot of 20 years in the line. Well, you're not looking left or right. I'm not looking left or right. And I get my age as we relevant at the line. Your age is irrelevant at the line.

Your age is irrelevant. I'm not looking left or right. And I get my age as we relevant at the line. Your age is irrelevant at the line. Your age is irrelevant.

But in success, irrelevant. Nobody when you get to the line to win is thinking about your age. Nobody's thinking about your age. Except for the commentators like, okay. So they're showing it.

She's 35 year old and a man. No one has ever won a title with this age. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Because they're like, okay. I know she's saying the prayer right now. But no man or woman has ever won at the age of 35.

“We're watching Shelley and what's the over under on this bed?”

Right. Yeah. But you're not hearing that. I'm not hearing. See, maybe the problem for a lot of people is they're listening to the

announcers calling the play versus your choice. Should be the loudest voice in do. As I said earlier. So what do you other than the prayer? What do you say to yourself though?

Because you do know.

I'm saying to myself,

my confidence come from my work.

Hmm. When I stand at the line to compete, I worked. I trained hard. I sacrificed when I get there.

I'm ready.

“If you're going to beat me, you just have to beat me on the day.”

I'm not afraid of anybody. Right? Because what's the most that's going to happen? You're going to win or you're going to lose? What's going to happen?

Will the world end? No? You'll get another chance. And so what? I'm 35 is a fact.

You can't change a fact. Why am I debating our arguing with people that's stating fact? They said I'm 35. I am 35.

And what do you want me to do about it? I can't do anything on the boat. So when I get to the line, I'm not thinking about my age. I'm thinking about the work. I'm thinking about the cues I'm telling myself.

I'm thinking about the visualization. I'm thinking about my past winds. Because you have to rely. Because your past winds tell you in that moment what you can do. Those are the experiences and things I'm telling myself.

When I get to the line, I'm telling myself, low at the block.

I'm telling myself to drive powerful, stay low.

Get the 30, relax or pry, hit the ground hard. Stay focused, breathe, swing. Get to the line. Don't panic. You think the 100 meters an hour.

It's not just in seconds. But there aren't a lot of things that you can tell yourself in that moment. I have no time to be thinking about the commentator or what anybody has is thinking. Tell us about that when.

Because that is like, it was probably the happiest moments of my entire career. I was just on a high because I came in running a lot of 10-60s. So I was confident. I was there.

I was ready. The atmosphere was good. It wasn't Eugene. And everybody knows that truckton in Eugene is crazy.

They know what's happening.

It's hot. You know how to make. We love the heat. And it's hot. And we're here.

And I'm ready. And I'm like, listen. My moment. You have to seize the moment. You can't let the moment be bigger than you.

Okay. Let's talk about that. What does that mean? For a lot of persons, they get to their moment. And they start thinking, oh my god.

The moment. And it's overwhelmed them till it's time for them. It's time for their performance. The moment is the moment. You're there.

But you are the moment.

“And you have to understand that you are the moment.”

The moment is the moment. It is what it is. It's not going to change. Everybody knows your championship. Everybody know you're trying to chase a good medal.

But you can't let that moment be your moment. You are the moment. What you bring to the table is your moment. The word that you did a couple months before you got there. It's your moment.

That's what is important. So I wasn't going to be stifled by the lights. Because a lot of persons dig their crippled by the lights. The light is the light. I can't move it.

I can't move the stands. I can't move the crowd. But what I can do is tune them out. They're not going to help me. I hear you.

When they call my name and they say, "Lane 5, Shelley and Fritz" from Jamaica, Shelley and Fritz surprise. I go, "Yeah." And I'm locked in. You have to learn to be locked in to ignore the lights.

Because the lights won't change unless it suddenly goes dark. It won't change. So I get to the line. I'm happy. I'm ready.

I am just focused on all the races that I've executed before. That's why important that you remember at any moment go back to the moments you went. When days are hard, go back to the moments that you have won. Reliant those moments because those moments are going to help you. Those moments are going to help you be confident.

“So did you have to put a little padding under your big toe?”

I'm going to say this in 2022. In 2017, when I had my son, my toe got a 80% better jaw. I was scheduled to do a surgery, the January of 2018 on my toe until I found out I was pregnant. And I'm glad that that happened because here's why. If I had done the surgery, there would be no power

in my toe. It would be almost like potty or, you know, yeah, glue. Because those two bones are responsible for power. If you remove them, there's nothing there. So you get no power from driving out the blocks.

I mean, it's with my entire being because I took the time off.

I got the rest. I was able to recoup. And I'm going to also say this is important. Rest and recovery is just as important as the training. Nobody shows up and win on an empty tank.

You have to be refueled.

“And that's why a rest and recovery is also very important.”

What would you say to the person who is looking at a goal? Maybe they've leaned in a little as they're listening in there. Okay, I'm on to decide. I'm going to decide. I'm going to launch that business.

I'm going to find love after divorce. I'm going to go back to school in my 50s. I'm going to go college.

But nobody in my family's gone to college.

And then that doubt starts to creep in. And you start saying to yourself. I can't do that. No one's ever accomplished that. Almost like you become the commentator.

Douding yourself. Stop entertaining the voices in your head. That tells you to play small.

“You have to stop entertaining those voices.”

The voices as I say. Really stupid for you. We can't go for the next one. And they tell you the next one. So you have to stop entertaining the voices in your head.

That tells you to play small. And also stop negotiating your mornings. What do you mean? So when you get up in the morning, they say, "All right, I'm going to attack the goal.

You start to make all of me that'll do it next year." Or maybe that'll do it next week. Or can I just put it off today and do it tomorrow? No. Stop negotiating.

Just do it. Literally. Get up. Decide and commit. You have to commit.

So that voice in your head, that's telling your old girl. This is too big. I can't do it. Everything changes. Don't stream.

When things upstream are done right. Say it again. Everything changes. Don't stream. When upstream is done right.

So up here, your mind. When you start thinking and stop negotiating and stop listening to that small voice that tells you, "Okay, you can't do it. It's too big. It's impossible." It converts. Yes.

When you start telling yourself, "This is mine. I'm ready."

And gifted them, "I have purpose. It's going to work out. I'm strong. I'm powerful."

It trickles down. And everywhere in your body starts to respond to what you're telling yourself in your mind. So you have to start saying to yourself, "I can. I will. I must." This is mine. I'm ready. I'm fit. I'm focused. This will all work out.

This is just a small hiccup. I have this. You got this.

“That's how you need to start negotiating in the mornings.”

Oh. You know, one of the things about you that you really had to deal with in your career is pressure. Mm-hmm. And managing pressure and showing up under pressure and not allowing the pressure to break you. And right now, I know that the person listening probably feels a lot of pressure.

You know, when we ask listeners in 194 countries, basically how they're feeling right now, what they're struggling with, what their goals are, the number one word that we heard was actually exhausted. Mm-hmm. And exhaustion comes because you feel a lot of pressure. You know what I'm saying?

And so if the person's dealing with pressure at work or pressure in their relationship or pressure financially, what, how do you handle pressure in your life? Pressure is a privilege. It means you're made for more. It means that someone believes in you somebody thinks that you have more to give that including yourself. So pressure is a privilege. I'll leave a Jamaican sandwich says nobody's stone's green mangoes.

Nobody's stones. Nobody's stone's green mangoes. So nobody's green mangoes. So nobody's green mangoes. Yeah, exactly. So look at it that way. Because you feel that pressure, it means that you have a gift.

So you're feeling that pressure and the only reason why sometimes you feel that pressure or that pressure expands

is because you're living in the past and the future at the same time. You can't go back to tomorrow. There's nothing there.

“You have to compete where you're feet are.”

Wherever you stand is where you compete. You cannot allow yourself to be in a moment where you're thinking about the past. Then you're thinking about the future. Your brain doesn't know what's happening. Your your stifling your brain.

The past the things are mistakes or whatever it is that have happened before. That pressure expands when you feel like you're trying to control what already happened. It's gone. So you need to know look at the future and how you do things like that is be intentional. You have to learn to breathe.

Center yourself. Find your center. Go back to your why. Go back to the reason you started.

“Because those are the things you can control.”

You can't control what anybody else is saying or what happened a year ago or seven months ago. You can't control that. So why are you there? Why are you living there? It's gone. You know what's coming?

The future. And you have to prepare for that. So you can't add any pressure to yourself by living in the past and if you try the same time. That's when you're going to be feeling pressure. But look at pressure as a privilege. It means that you have something.

You have a gift. You have more. Because nobody who is chasing nothing.

I've never heard anybody say that's doing anything that says are not absolutely nothing says.

I feel pressured. Have you ever heard it? If somebody sits in this room. Doing nothing everyday. Just doing nothing.

They can't feel pressured. Are you doing anything to be pressured? No. But for the person who's chasing something and wants to start something. And that person who sits in the room or in their car who knows that listen.

I have this gift. I have this purpose and I want it to be realized. But you are the one that's holding yourself.

“That's the pressure. You have to get rid of it.”

I needed you in 2008. I know you were busy winning gold medals. But in 2008, I was under such devastating financial pressure. And what you just laid out explains why I was stuck for so long. Because when you cannot put food on the table or gas in the tank of the car and you have three kids

and leans on the house and you're pissed off at your husband and you've lost your job. You spend a lot of time thinking about all the mistakes in the past. Which makes the financial pressure in the moment bigger. And you said you have to stop looking backwards. You've got to compete where your feet are.

And you've got to look to the future. And what's interesting is I suffered. And I just, oh my god, I was, I said I was about to say I verbally abused my husband. For a year because I was so scared and angry that all I did was scream at that poor man.

And it wasn't until I did the first thing you told us to in this conversation today.

I decided I decided that I needed to make a change. I decided that I needed to stop looking around at everybody else. And I needed to stop looking at my husband to fix this and I decided my purpose was to make money. My purpose was to save the house. My purpose was to figure out how the heck we were going to pay off this debt.

And once I decided and I locked into a future where I felt like I could be proud of myself and I could pay my bills. Now I have a racer run. Now you have a racer run. And the second you do that. Yeah, the pressure is still there, but it feels different.

It feels like it almost is behind you pushing you versus pressure around you. Yes, constantly consuming just pressing in and you see like you're being stifled. Yes, but that pressure behind you is a fuel. Yes, that pressure behind you becomes a push. Yes.

Because that pressure tells you that okay, I'm on the right path. And somebody, somewhere with it, the kids, believes in me.

They see a future with me.

Yes.

“And then you start to understand that, okay, I'm on the right path.”

Pressure is good. What is behind you? I didn't like it. My face is in my face. It's behind you.

But that pressure can expand if you're fighting towards one in the past and one in the future. I don't want to fight the one in the past because you can't go back. It's gone. You can learn from it. But it's gone.

And there are a lot of persons who are stuck where they are.

Because they are still feeling that pressure from where the past mistakes, past failures, past relationships. They're still there. But you're not there. You're already here in the future. So you have to compete here.

You can't go back there. Right here, when we get to the line to start in line, that's where we compete there. Oh my god. Do you know how many people and I would put myself in this bucket? Spend so much of their lives rerunning races they lost in the past.

Run in run in run in run in run and you can't get it back. Versus understanding there's a new race to run. There's a new line to step up every day. There's a new race. Every day you just have to show up for it.

Every day there is a new race. You have to show up for it. Shelley, and if the person listening takes just one action out of all of the wisdom that you've poured into us.

“As soon as you're done listening to this, what do you think the most important thing to do is?”

I think the most important thing to do, Melis, what you said earlier, decide.

You have to decide because we can and in that decision the reason why we are here and you are here is because you're still seeking. You're still listening because you're still seeking. You still want something. So you have to decide and commit to your greatest life yet you have to decide. You can listen to everything you can write on everything and you can have the vision board and you can have the book that you're writing your goals.

But until you make that decision to start or to do something different, you're wasting time. You're wasting time, you have to decide. Like there's just no two way about it. There are a lot of persons who are sitting at home and they have written down that business plan and I'm going to start this business. I'm going to do this. I'm going to end this friendship party's relationship that's not going anywhere. It's eating me. And they have yet to make the decision.

Our fully, a lot of them make half decisions. I'm going to do it tomorrow. I'm going to do it next year. Michelle Anne, what are your parting words? My parting words would have to be you and I were not built for average. We're built for extraordinary extraordinary things.

“I've said earlier you have to be and become extraordinary.”

Extraordinary, no one extraordinary took home. So all those things that you have told yourself, the unhealthy things that you have told yourself before I get rid of it. We're not made to play small. You have to expand your mind, expand your territory, you have to see yourself being big. Not average, not smart, but big. Somebody who have more, a lot more untapped potential that's waiting to expand.

And I, and not only me, but you have to give yourself permission. You have to give yourself permission to chase the dream. You have to give yourself permission to understand that. You carry excellence. You carry, we all carry because we are created with it. We have purpose. We have plans. We have all of it.

And you have to mold those things together and create a life that is extraordinary. Shellian, you are extraordinary. You literally blew me away and there's something about being in your presence that I just want to sprint out of here. I don't even really know where I'm going right now, but I just feel like, okay, let's run this. Let's win. Let's win. No, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being you for taking the time to come here and to pour into me and to the person.

And among friends and coaches are going to send it to teams. You are such a gift.

Thank you. I appreciate that. This was great. Thank you. Well, you're great. Thank you. And I also want to thank you. As you heard Shellian say to you, you are not average. You are extraordinary. And everything that she poured into you, you can feel it in your bones, even those two little bones in your big toe, you could feel it. That she believes in you. She believes your extraordinary, but you got to decide. You got the tools and the encouragement and the road map today. For crying out loud, decide to do something with it. Step up to the line and run that race. And in case no one else tells you today is your friend.

“I am going to tell you that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life.”

Just follow everything you just heard and you will build an extraordinary one. All right. I'll see you in the very next episode. I'll welcome you in the moment you hit play. But you are standing at the edge of something. But you are standing at the edge. Hold on.

And she's going to tell you from the very first word she say, every time the world said, it can.

And today, she is here to tell you how to stop negative to tell it to teach you to. At the 2024 Paris Olympics, Nike honored at the 2024 Paris, because what Shelley and is teaching you about how she deals with pressure. Oh, wait. Oh, because like Shelley and today to be your personal coach. Oh, my. Oh, my. How do you feel? I feel good. Good. I'm so excited to bring you this segment sponsored by our friends at Verizon and I'm especially excited to help make your life just a little bit easier today.

“Because for 12 years, that's how long I've been a customer. Verizon's been doing exactly that for me and my family.”

Making life easier. The all-new simplicity plan is just one plan. One price $30 a line per month, even for a single line. And everyone gets their best 5G network. So you can cut down on the noise and get a great price on a great network. And while we're at it, talking about simplicity, I want to share another way that you can simplify your life right now. You know, when you have a bunch of things that are just kind of weighing on you, you need to take care of them. Let me think of an example because I got a lot right now.

Let's see. You got to find a new doctor. And so what do you do? You're calling all the doctors in your area. You're calling their offices. You're on hold. You got your health insurance. You're trying to figure out who's accepting patients, who accepts your health insurance when can you get in sometime in the next year. And then all of a sudden, oh my gosh, the day is over. And you still haven't accomplished a single thing. And you probably don't even have the doctors appointment made yet. Now I don't know about you.

But most of the time, when I'm really overwhelmed, what's funny is the thing that's draining me, it's not some big thing. It's all these little things. And you know what, if you're feeling overwhelmed right now, I want you to consider something. Maybe you're doing too much. Maybe you're not lazy or incapable or overwhelmed.

Maybe you're just trying to do too much. Hear me out for a sec. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or I start to get analysis paralysis, it's never the big things.

It's that all these little things have stacked up. And I start to feel like I need to do every little thing right now. And then I end up doing nothing. That subscription that I keep in need to cancel. And then, oh my god, I just got charged again or 53 emails in the inbox. And they just keep climbing the smoke detector battery that keeps beeping. And the taillight and the car that's been out for months, the messy desk. Oh my god, the thank you note I've been meeting to send the little things are always hanging over you.

And get this, there's real science that explains this feeling. A psychologist named Richard Lazarus at UC Berkeley wanted to know what was really weighing on people's mental health.

“Is it the big stuff like moving out of state or breaking up with your partner getting laid off at a job or trying to find a new one or was it something else?”

Well, it turns out based on the research, it's the little things that build up that are constantly dragging on you because you feel like you have to do them all. You don't. You don't have to fix 50 things today.

Write it down. Every little thing, the package you have to return the birthday present to buy the laundry piling up the yardwork, the plumber, the doctor's appointment you need to make.

“Oh my gosh, a brain dump is the one thing you need to do right now because writing all these things down. Oh my god, it feels so good because when these little things no longer live in your head, they no longer weigh you down.”

Let them live on paper simple. The one thing you need to do today. In fact, I've been doing them nonstop. Here's my brain dump on houseless. Okay, I got to get the closet that the cat peed in. I've got to I don't even know what that thing is. Oh, here's one on things to buy. Here's another one things to organize financial apps no wonder things have felt so heavy.

I wonder I think about everything but I do nothing simple do a brain dump instead of doing everything do one thing write it all down.

“Then tell yourself this nothing on this list is an emergency. So you're just going to chip away at it.”

That's one little thing you can do to make your life simple again because you were never incapable or overwhelmed or lazy you my friend or just trying to do too much.

I want to thank Verizon again for sponsoring this segment Verizon's got the perfect phone plan to help you cut down on all those little stressors in your life. This simplicity plan is just one plan one price thirty dollars per month even for a single line and everyone gets their best 5G network. Simple is the new standard switch today at Verizon.com or your nearest store for new customers thirty dollars per line includes autopay and switch and save discount additional taxis fees in terms apply unlimited data is restricted to on device smartphone usage domestic data roaming at 2G speeds.

“Oh and one more thing and no this is not a blooper this is the legal language you know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you.”

This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician professional coach psychotherapist or other qualified professional. Got it good. I'll see you in the next episode.