The Business Expert: How to Make More Money, Beat Self-Doubt, & Reinvent Your Life

I can hardly contain my excitement right now, because I'm about to introduce you to one of the most

“unforgettable light of fire under your rear end take no BS person you will ever meet. I'm talking about the”

one, the only Barbara Corkran. She is one of the original sharks on Shark Tank. She's a real estate mogul, one of the most influential self-made women in business, a boundary-breaking entrepreneur and investor. And you've probably seen this 76-year-old dish and out advice to entrepreneurs on television,

but you've never experienced the wisdom. She is about to give to you directly today based on her

remarkable life and career. Barbara went from being called stupid by the nuns at her Catholic school to working 22 different jobs to borrowing $1,000 from her boyfriend to start in the real estate business. Only to get dumped when a letter for her secretary, to building one of the biggest real estate companies in New York City and selling it for $66 million.

“If you're feeling behind under estimated or you don't think you have what it takes, Barbara will tell”

you BS. You just need her playbook. She's going to look straight in the eye and call you out on every single excuse that you've been hiding behind. And if you've been telling yourself you're too old and it's too late, you better buckle up because she's got some things to say to you. She's also going to break down the real foundations for success. Teach you how to build confidence after you've been dumped, rejected, discarded, or doubted, and will reveal the big difference between people who win

and people who lose. I cannot wait for you to hear and to experience this episode today. You know, for the past two years, I have been using work in a busy schedule as my number one excuse to not put my health first. I bet you can relate. Even when I was being consistent with the gem or I was squeezing and workouts, I was seeing little to no change. Why? Because I didn't change my diet. Well now that I understand all the research from the experts on this podcast, I see how

critical protein is for me. And based on what my doctor is recommending, a daily goal of 125 grams

of protein per day, I can't get there on meal prep alone. I needed something on the go that tastes

“great. It doesn't sit in my stomach like a brick. That's why I co-founded Pure Genius protein.”

And develop this product with a team of doctors. Some of your favorite world-renowned experts. Pure Genius protein shots are 100 calories. Zero sugar, zero fat, no artificial flavors or sweeteners, no dyes, just delicious. And this week, save 20% on your first order at Pure Genius Protein.com. When you use Code Mel, plus there's a 30-day money-back guarantee. Cheers to your health. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. It's such an

hour to spend time with you and to be together. And if you're a new listener, I just want to take a moment welcome you to the Mel Robbins podcast family. You have picked a winner. Because today, our guest is the one and the only Barbara Corkran. And she is here to tell you exactly how to beat self-doubt, reinvent your life, and build real success. Barbara Corkran is one of the most influential self-made entrepreneurs alive today. She's a real estate mogul investor and business expert who

built her name and her fortune from scratch. When she was 23 years old, she borrowed $1,000 quit waitressing and started a tiny real estate company in New York City. Well, that company went on to become the Corkran group. And she grew it into one of the largest and best known residential real estate

brands in the world. She sold the business for 66 million in cash. She is also an original shark

on ABC's Shark Tank. Where entrepreneurs pitched their ideas to top business leaders like Barbara and she's been on the show since it launched in 2009. It's now in its 17th season. She's made over 130 deals on Shark Tank investing over $61 million. And she's also an executive producer on the show, making her a five-time Emmy Award winner. She's the author of the New York Times best seller Shark Tails. I turned $1,000 into a billion business and after hearing her,

do not be surprised. If you find yourself not just thinking, well, if she can do it so can I, you're going to find yourself getting out there and doing it. So please help me welcome the legendary Barbara Corkran to the Melbourne's podcast. Barbara Corkran welcome to the Melbourne podcast.

number of times. I admire you so much. I'm a fan of Shark Tank. I've heard your keynote address. It's extraordinary. How might my life be different? If I take everything to heart that you're about to share with us and teach us today and I apply it to my own life for my business. I would love

people to appreciate and believe that you're far more capable than you think you are. I've never

met a person who isn't more capable than they gave themselves credit for it and I'd like people to really understand that you don't have to do it the way everybody else does. It's not the way that you're going to do it. You're free to do it exactly as you please. I know that so many people are going to listen to this and they're going to share it particularly with the women and their lives that are doubting themselves that don't think they're capable. So could you speak directly

to the person who may be receiving this from a friend or a sister and they're feeling full of

“doubt. They've lost confidence. They're feeling a little stuck. What do you want to say to that?”

Well, I think everyone feels stuck. I'm probably feeling stuck four or five times a month. Really? It's not important whether you feel stuck or not. Just assume it's a human condition. We all feel that way. But I think you can do a lot to change yourself to being unstuck and one of the best ways to do it or at least I started with it is to change the tape in your head. I had a tape in my head like intimidation all the way until I decided to change it from barber. You're

overstating barber. You can't get there. Barrier can't can't can't can't can't can't and replace it with barber. You're incredible. Now did I believe in? No, but I made the habit of changing it every time my mind went down that whole. I changed it up by a year incredible. And eventually I started believing it. We all have lousy tapes that I had left over from childhood. I have a little, I think the woman that gave me the worst tape in my head was Sister Cele Marie, the nun from hell. And third grade

who said, "You're always going to be stupid because you can't read." It took me probably eight years

to get over that. And I said, "I'm not going to be stupid." And that's, I decided not to be. I mean, it's a shame that how dare someone make you feel less than you are. You've got to come back strong. Well, and oftentimes barber, and I think you know this too because you just talked a little bit about how you were like barber, you're doing this barber, you're doing that and you started saying barber, you're incredible. And then the more you repeated it, you started to believe it. But oftentimes

a person that's beaten us down the most is ourselves. Yes, very much. And so for the person who's listening right now, who feels like, "Okay, Mel, Barbara, I love both you ladies, but it's too late for me." I've screwed up too many times. I have not gotten myself together. It's too late.

I'm too old. What do you want to say to that person? It's never too late, obviously. You know that.

I know that. But I think you just have to pause and realize, I have always done a simple exercise. I've counted the years I have left and think of how many more me's can I get in those years. So when I was 46 and sold my business, I thought I sold the golden goose and I thought I would never ever create another business again like that. I thought I had sold my best business. Not that I didn't want to. I wanted to. But then I realized I was a golden goose. You can create

exactly what you want. I mean, I laid eggs again and again and I reinvented myself over and over again.

“But I think the key there really is to believe that you really have to get good at trying.”

Because so many you try and opportunities right there and go, "Well, I didn't think of that." But it's when you're in that still position or at least for me when I'm in a still position, I could sit at my desk and try to invent an idea, forget it. It's about moving on something. Anything just get yourself moving and then the idea becomes itself. And by the way, about failing at stuff, which I find just stops a lot of people. They feel they've had two or three

failures and oh, I'm not going to do it. I just don't believe in that. I think they just can hang around long enough to see the flip side of failure. Because all my good stuff happened after a big failure. It almost seemed like for me the bigger the failure I had, the bigger the upside. But I was doggy enough to just stay there and see, "This got to be something, this got to be something." And I think it's just waiting around for the something to find it

and believing there's something there. I don't think you're ever wrong. I think there's always something there and you get something started again. You said something that really caught my attention, which is you do this thing where you count the years you have left. Yes, I do. So do you have a number in mind for how long you're going to live? Yeah, about 105. Okay, 105. So let's just take that away as something you can grab from barber. You're going to live

to 105. You've got that many years left. And that's a lot of what that's a lot of years.

“That's how many knees can I pack into about another two. But they've got to be different. They've”

got a suit who I am at that juncture in my life. Oh, I love that. I could never build another real safe business with the energy you took, the people I had to hire, the financial stress I went through

true to yourself at that point in time because your experience changes you. You're still the

same barber, but you're slightly different. So it's going to fit you very well. How do you know what fits your what doesn't? It feels right. I don't have a plan necessarily. I might have a vague plan, but I have confidence that I'll find something and that it will feel right when I see it. Like I did the slasco around when I saw the Corcoran group, I tried cooking lessons. I was going to be a chef. I tried artistic lessons. I was going to be an artist. I was going to be an artist.

I have a list of capabilities, but nothing felt right. I saw a PR company for about three months. It didn't feel right through that away. In the fourth one, I landed on. I became an expert in real estate on the today's show. And all of a sudden I was getting work and I said, hey, this feels right. Let me do it. I'm good at talking on TV and off I went. And that right there is an example of exactly

“what you just told us to do. You have to try. You're also known as one of the most encomplished”

investors and founders today, but what people don't know is how the story begins. And so what I want to do is go all the way back to growing up in New Jersey and talk about what life really looks like. I got a little photo for you of you and your siblings. Oh, sure. I love this photo. That was my sister Ellen's idea. Thank God we pose for it. Yeah. I'll get those opportunities easily enough. Talk about what life really looked like when you were growing up in New Jersey. Well, I actually

had a very happy childhood. I was very poor, but I was happy. My mother had 10 kids. Her father was my father was her 11th child. I think he was the hardest to manage of all of us, but it was

crowded and it was competitive. I would say those two words come to mind always crowded. So you

had to make do all the time and finesse all the time and competitive. You had to compete for my mother and father's attention. We each got very little attention. It was dulled out in tiny little

“pieces. And I really believe that's the reason I've needed a lot of attention. My whole life”

making off for that or something. But it was chaotic. But my mother had a great ability for the system. She had a system for everything in the household. And with her systems, we were always well dressed. We were always had good meals. We always celebrated holidays and we felt like we were the rich kids on down really, but we weren't. But what a great upbringing I had really. So you grew up in a two bedroom flat with 10 siblings. How did that shape the way you approached life?

I was always competing from my mother's attention. So I got good at talking. I got good at

entertaining. The kids entertaining my parents. And I was always wanted in the group. You know, you could not have been invited in. When you have 10 kids you play with whoever you want. I was always one of the kids they wanted to play with. Because I was fun, fun loving. So I learned how to make fun. And I just carry the fourth to my business. I think I was the most fun boss in the world. And that made a big difference. It made people love me. Did having a ton of siblings and growing

up in an environment that was crowded and competitive help you learn how to read people? Because I think one of the things that I've noticed about you, especially in your role as a judge on Shark Tank, is you seem to be an instant judge of good or bad character, of a founder you want to invest in, and somebody you don't. You know, your kids, my mother was a great judge of people. She we had a crazy thing she did when she'd brought the kid home from Holy Name Hospital. She didn't wrap them

and say, meet your brother Tommy. She's going to be a magnificent dancer. Wow. A dancer in the family. And she coined what everybody was going to be when they grew up. She was amazingly accurate. The reason she made that prediction about my brother was he had fat legs and he was kicking like hell. But he became a ballet dancer for Alvin. All the dance theater. He did for Alvin. Allie. For me, she said when I came home crying at a school that sister Salamaria told me I was stupid.

Again, she said to me, don't worry about it. You have a wonderful imagination and she announced that when I was born and she put me in that role all the time and she said, with it, you'll fill in all the blanks. So I grew up really thinking I the best imagination in the world. So judging people, I think we're all in our family great judges of people because so my mother was. My mother could judge anyone from a mile away and she was accurate. I remember when I was running my business,

I hired bookkeepers to be salespeople, salespeople to be bookkeepers, switch things around because I just envisioned them in a different role. I saw that capacity and I had the empathy to walk in their shoes and understand them. And as a result of that, I really hired good people.

“I really think that was my secret, but I got it from my mother. I never had a mentor, but I had my mother.”

You know, I you told the story about that awful nun who said you were stupid in the room from hell, the nun from hell. And what you didn't know at the time is that it wasn't that you couldn't read. It was that you had dyslexia. Yeah. And late in the name for that. I don't think

school and I'm a couple decades younger just a couple. They had a special class and that they did down the hall. Ah, yes. But I found out that I had dyslexia late in life just like you did because our sons were being diagnosed. Yes. That's usually when you find out. So do you think being under estimated or having to figure out different ways to solve problems is part of what's made you successful? I think dyslexia made me successful. I don't think I would have been successful with

having it. You know, a lot comes with being dyslexic. You look at the world differently. You interpret it differently. You're over-prepared constantly or I am. I'll prepare like seven hours for a one-hour speech. It's ridiculous. Do I know this stuff? Of course, I do, but I'm so insecure

because I never want to be cold on again and not know the answer. You know, nothing's worth

“some being a dyslexic child and being judged by how well you could read or write. The worst thing”

for me was being asked to read out loud in front of the other kids. You were definitely looking stupid. But you know what it brings with you a different way of thinking. I sat in that class from six hours a day and just imagine things I never paid attention and it's right that today I could think of an idea a minute. I could just think of solutions really fast. That's a gift I got out of being dyslexic. I think also that with dyslexia people underestimate you. So you don't read

at the board meeting and they write you off because you're stumbling but they don't know your imagination and what you're thinking about and how you express yourself with your mouth as a result of not being able to write. I mean, I got very goose by mouth. I got very funny. You and I are so similar really. Yes. And if you can't do what's being asked of you, you find other ways to matter. You find other ways to express yourself. I mean, it's not there's no way you're

muscle somewhere else. Yes. Do you think it's interesting because I think a lot of people are afraid of being underestimated. But for you and me talk to me about what it means to be underestimated.

“When I was building my business a courtroom group in New York City, you have to appreciate that”

all the businesses are owned by men. All the people who work for the businesses were well connected. I hired everybody that nobody else wanted. People wrote me off. They weren't watching me for like 10 years. None of the big boys watched me. I was a girl that wasn't going to do anything really spectacular and I creeped up on them. They weren't watching. I bit their ass from behind.

They never knew what was coming. I was able to try marketing ideas that they never thought of.

I did business a different way. You know, I was able to hire gay men. No one was hiring gay men. But what dedication I had from my gay salespeople? I hired everybody who did want it. But what a team we felt and everybody was getting even, proving that they could be a somebody. And I was there to tell them they were better than they ever were. And they were really going to be a somebody. And guess what everybody did. Even a guy hired as a concierge desk at the

Pierre Hotel became my secretary. And he later went on to run my arch rival and almost put me out of business. My God, I just had a gift of knowing what people would do well. You know,

“one of the things that I also love about you is I think there's very few people that could”

out work me. But you might be one of them. Oh, I can out work you. No, Dad. I've been anyone who worked harder. Yes. You worked very, very hard. You worked 22 jobs before you started that real estate business, including being a receptionist, a waitress. I want you to walk me through that chapter. And what did those early jobs teach you? The early jobs are invaluable. And you know, today people think they should know what they want to be when they grow up and they get right

into that track. I think it's such a terrible mistake. I spent those 22 jobs most importantly learning what I was good and what I was bad at. So I was a great waitress. I at times had three waitress jobs at once. But I could charm anybody. I could serve them faster than anybody. Get that coffee there. Call the guy Handsome. If I could remember his name from the day before. And it helped me tremendously. I was a nurse's aid and I had a post temperature charts that I got

the numbers big. So I knew it in belonging to business with numbers at all. I learned that I could sell more hotdogs at a hotdog sin in the next kid because I had the gift of God. I learned exactly what I should be at. And I learned really most importantly I was great at sales. And that's what I wound up being. When I went into the real estate business, I knew nothing about real estate

and never really learned anything about real estate. But I knew how to make people happy with their

real estate and talk them into things I really loved and were afraid to make the choice about. What do you think makes someone good at sales? I think it's being genuine. I don't think you can fake it. I think people know when you're selling something that don't want to buy, talking them into it. I think you just have to make someone comfortable with what they're going to choose anyway. Give them reasons why it's a great choice. Make them feel justified in going

better view or whatever. I think it's making them feel comfortable with you. It's really more

“what sales is about comfort. I agree. And I think that's a lot of what comes through those early”

jobs. Yeah. Is it getting comfortable with yourself and comfortable with people of different moods as you're serving them? But then kind of I had the chance to try out 22 jobs. You know, when I went into Bloomingdale, so by my first coat, which was an extravagant coat with my first

commission check, I didn't know what I'd look good and I tried on a million coats and it's kind

of the same way with jobs. I think you got to just try on a million stuff to see what you're good at. This isn't come naturally. You know, I have a photo of you but if you're getting these photos on, see when you're charging for your own. That's the coat I was telling you about. Are you kidding me? I swear to God. That's the first coat you bought at Bloomingdale. Yeah. It was $330 and I had a $340 commission check. Okay. Hold on a second. So you earned $340 on your first real estate

transaction and you spent $330 of it on a coat. Yeah. I blew it. And so what would you tell that version of you, the 23 year old Barbara about what's possible? I would have told myself, you're dead on. You look and feel like a million bucks. You're gonna act like a million bucks. I wanted to be the queen of New York Real Estate on day one in the business. I saw it like I could taste it, touch it, saw it in living color. But I had a ready alphan on you know. Yeah. So once I put

that coat on, I wore it for the next six years up and down the streets of Manhattan. But I felt like a fancy lady. Everyone would have told me what a stupid thing to do when you only had a $1,000

“stretch. It wasn't a stupid thing. It was probably the best thing I ever bought. How come? Because it”

made me feel like who I wanted to be? Well, you know what I love about this story. There's really important wisdom to pull out of it that I want to make sure is you're listening or watching that you don't miss. So Barbara, even at the age of 23, you had this sense of clarity to be able to say to yourself, this is what I want. And without that sense of clarity and the permission that you give yourself to say, you know what? I want to be successful in real estate. I want to be the queen

of real estate in New York City. Why the hell not? Declaring it is the first step. And then you started to think about what are some of the small things I need to do to feel like it. And the coat was the first one to embody it to look like it to feel like it before you were it. Yes. So let's fast forward seven years or 30 years old. Your boyfriend who also becomes your business partner. Why the hell are you in business with your boyfriend, Barbara? I was a dyno waitress and he came

in one night and he was charming. He had jackpot care, avated shades on. He was sexy. I'd never

had a boyfriend. So a 23 I really wanted a boyfriend. Yep. And he'd later two months later once I was his girlfriend gave me a thousand dollars to start my business. Where the heck would I get a thousand dollars? That was the lucky break. That was the lucky break. And I started the company first with him. I needed him. I didn't have the confidence at the time to think I could really do it. But he told me I could. And then I believed it. He told me he was successful in business.

He was charming. And he said, "You'd be great at real estate sales." So I said, "Okay, that's good enough. I could always go back to the diner." And that's exactly what I did. I started the business. So he left you. Yes. Married my secretary, that bitch. Well, now you want to thank her probably. Yeah, probably. But he also told you

that you'll never succeed without me. Well, I don't blame him because I was going out the

door. I divided the business in half and left him on our Friday afternoon and took my

“half of my business out with me. And I think he was angry. I don't really think in the hindsight”

when I think about it that he meant it. But thank God he said it. It was when he said, "You'll never succeed without me. I knew I'd rather die than not succeed." And when I was in bad times and didn't know how to keep the business through all the upheavals in New York City, going bankrupt, the stock market crash, 9/11, when I was always be out of cash. I would think of his words. I would just come back on me. And I would always think of some of the angle to keep

him business. So thank God he said that. He was wrong. I saw my business for $66 million. About 20 years late. And he was at a business in three years. So go figure. Go, you're almost said, I heard. So yeah. So how do you build confidence when you're scared or when you're unsure? You know, I have all my confidence from one thing only and I don't think people appreciate it. They think if you're successful at what you attempt, even in a particular chapter in your life

time. So never worked for me that way. I've tried everything. I failed, you know, most things. But

most things of my real estate business are flops. But when I had a success, I found my confidence wasn't built. But what did build my confidence and made it rock solid is I knew I could outwork and out try anyone. And I knew I'd be back. If I fail, I just knew in my heart, I was going to stand right back up and know you always stand back up and try again. You're confident. You look confident because you're confident. You might not win again. You might fail again. But the next

will be a win. So I just keep trying, trying, trying, trying. I try so much to see anything that's new out in the social space. I try it. That's where I get my confidence from. That's the best

“definition of confidence because I think most people say my confidence is in the thing I'm”

accomplishing. And you just said, no confidence true confidence is knowing that you can count on yourself to keep going and to pick yourself back up. But it takes that away from you. That's right, nobody can take that away from you. What is the biggest failure that you've had to keep talking about?

I want someone else like, well, any of my failures, the biggest ones were always my biggest success.

Probably the one I would bless the most money, then would you say would it's a failure? Sure, what was that? That was homes on tape. I announced to my salespeople, you know, we're going to take all your apartments and put them on video tape. This was before the advent of the internet. That sounds brilliant. It sounds really cheer me on. I feel like I got damn genius. So I put everybody on video tape, including my salespeople, did they make up? Did they have made them look

beautiful? And no one handed out the tape. I couldn't believe that it would be. I spent 77,000 dollars, which was my first profit on the, what I thought was a great idea. It failed miserably. But I was with my husband that weekend right after the failure and feeling sorry for myself for about a minute. And he mentioned he was playing war games on this new government thing called the internet in real time. And I took my tapes and put them on the internet that Monday morning.

And I registered all my competitors, URLs. So I own them. And we sold two apartments out of London in one week, boom, boom, it just hit. And that was the advent of the internet, which was going to change a real estate business more than any other thing has changed it. But I had almost two years

to play around on the internet before my competitors woke up. And when they woke up, they always

“called me asking for the URLs back. That's how I knew they were waking up, you know? But now”

look at that. That was the worst disaster money wise because it was my whole profit. But in the long run, or even in the short run, it was my biggest success. The internet took me from maybe 12, 13's position, and maybe number three. But I was coming within shoot range after the internet. Yes, I was there early. And it was simply happens. It's like hung around. That's what I did. I hung around and used it. What's your advice to somebody who's listening right now, who's just

starting their career, who's trying to figure out their future? You're not going to figure it out from afar. I just try a lot of stuff on them. Forget about what mom and dad said or whatever, just figure out, I think a good guy is to figure out what you're good at. I figure out what you're not good at. And if you don't know, get out and play in the traffic and find out, see if you're good at this. So that, and that makes for a happy and successful career. If you could wrap a career,

choice around something and naturally good at, you have nothing to do, but when you really will win

“with it. Because that's what I did. I only, I only use utilizing my business of few traits that I have,”

and that's good enough. What are the few traits? Judging people, marketing, and salesmanship. That's what I do well. When I sold the coconut room, I sat down with the legal pad and wrote down everything I was good at. And everything I was bad at to try to think of what I would do. And there were only three things I could do. One of them was TV. One of them was PR agency and one was at advertising agency. When utilized by traits of being good on camera, being a good salesman, and

liking public speaking, those were the three that were on the list. And I went into the TV business like that. I could have done it in the PR and advertising space. I think just as well. Well, you said you tried it, but you didn't like it. I didn't feel right. Yeah, I didn't. That's why you got to get in traffic and play around because then you're going to figure out what actually feels right and what doesn't. You know, there's a lot of people that are losing their jobs right now,

and also I've read this stat that's 69% of Americans would quit their job today if they could afford to do. Yep. I didn't think you're not like what they do. What do you think the single most valuable skill right now is that someone should focus on learning? Well, technology. Of course, AI in particular, I can't imagine running my business without it. I've just gotten on at six

they should spend their time. I think when you pick a job, you shouldn't be choosing what job you

“want, but you should be looking for a good person to work for. When you've got a great boss,”

it's far far more important than a great job because the boss has got your back. He pushes your head, he believes in you, and you have a heck of a fun time working for him. But most people choose a position over the boss or the chances of promotion over the boss. When you have a good boss, you've got the right thing in your own corner. Barbara, where were you in my 20s and 30s? You would have saved me so many mistakes if I had had this advice of yours sooner. But I got it now,

and you got it now. Here's what I want to do. I want to hit the pause button so that we can hear

a word from our sponsors, but I really want to just give you a chance to share this episode in your family group chat. You know, you want to know what I'm sending this to? I'm sending this to my three adult kids. I'm sending it to my best friend, Jody, who is starting a new business. She needs to hear Barbara. You have people in your life who need Barbara Corcoran in their life so share this extraordinary episode with them and don't go anywhere. When we return, Barbara's going to share

exactly how to ask for more money at work and the mindset difference between people who win and people who stay stuck, you're going to be surprised by your answer. So don't go anywhere. Stay with me. We'll be right back. Welcome back, it's your friend, Mel Robbins. You and I are here with Barbara Corcoran, who is addition out the truth. We have so much more to jump into. So Barbara, how do you know who is a good boss? Like, what would you look for? If you were going out

and you're not, well, obviously, you're Barbara Corcoran, so you're not going out looking for a job. But maybe who knows, but if you were looking and assessing, you know, who do I want to work for? What would you want that boss? Him or her to have in terms of making them a good boss?

I would say the most important trade is have them speak about who works with them. Who do you

have working for? You know, who's your favorite person? What do you do with them? You know, how long have they been here? Like, you're actually finding out if they're working for the

“people versus the people working for them, which I think is really the key to being a good”

boss is to work for you. People, you want someone who's going to say he's got this guy got promoted, blah, blah, blah, blah. If you just get a guy who wants you to do your job and that's it and you don't problem to tell you about the people, you really won't learn about his attitude toward people and you don't know what you're working for. What do you think the difference is between somebody who's a boss versus somebody being a good leader? Well, I guess a boss tells you

what you ought to be doing, which is it valuable. You want to know what your job is, but a leader inspires you and gets you to believe in their dream and see things the way they do and makes you willing to climb up the mountain behind them. I think being a leader is not easy. It doesn't come to everybody, but I think it has to be 100% genuine and you have to be on the employees side. They feel that they'll follow you anywhere. They really will. How can you be a good leader? Like for somebody who's

listening that wants to be better in a leadership role or to just be a good leader, what are some

of the things that you would tell them to think about? I think the most important thing is to speak

genuinely. I mean, you know when you're being conned and bosses are great economy you, but if you're a great leader and you speak genuinely as to why what you want them to do is good for them,

“not for you. They'll listen to you and they'll follow you. I think you have to put it in there”

terms why it's good for them because the good leader is always working for their employees if they have the head on straight and that's why I get it done. What are the characteristics that would make you fire somebody? Like you're out. Only one thing. I don't mind in aptitude. I don't even mind people who aren't putting in the effort. I can change that. I can inspire them and change it, but I can change a complainer. If you're a complainer, I get rid of them. It's like a cancer and a company,

one complainer, feeling sorry, "Oh poor me, needs old poor you." It's contagious. It catches on and becomes insetuous. It's a company. I don't tolerate complainers. I got rid of them as fast. It's like because they were dangerous and they were attacking my people. I felt the negative attitude was attacking my positive people. So I got rid of them. And, you know, why does teamwork matter so much? You've talked so much about team, why does teamwork matter and how do you build

trust with your team? Especially, like if you think back to building your real estate company, people go between real estate companies all the time to get poached all the time and it takes trust to stay somewhere. Well, in the real estate business, it's tremendous turnover. Roughly 60% a year. I never had anyone leave unless I fired them. They never wanted to leave. They were

most importantly liked each other. It was their family. So they stayed around and how do you inspire that by letting them know it every turn along the way that you are for them? I'm here to serve you what do you need lately? How can I make you job easier? What would you like to be when you grow up? What do you want to be promoted to? What do you want to do? I just had their viewpoint. My head didn't make a difference what I thought, but what happened naturally was they became

forrocious and on my side. And besides, you know where you basically need a team. Because you

can't build a business without it. I've never seen anything without people building. So you

“have to inspire people. Well, I think people forget the companies are actually people.”

It's made up of people that work there. It's easy to forget the higher you're up. It's very easy to forget. What is the most effective way Barbara to ask for a raise? Tell the person what you were hired for with a list of what you did, what you were hired for specific as specific as you could be. If you have 30 items, put it on a list. Walk in and show them that list compared to the list you're actually doing. This people are always hired for less work than they're actually given.

And you say, I'm doing all these other duties now. 20% I'd like a raise and you name the amount. You name the amount. Most girls don't name the amount. Most girls don't ask for a raise as many as for raises women don't ask been my experience. In running the corporate group, we got a thousand people, thousand, twenty-five a so working there. And I can tell you twice did a woman

asking for a raise for about 15 years yet. The men always ask for raises and told them how I told

you how great they were. And I had women that were much better than the men. You just have to get in there and make the appointment show them what you're doing and ask for a specific amount. And you can't fall for the typical thing that big company says there's not not in the budget. Someone's getting a raise but it's not you but someone's getting a raise. You know one of the things that I always think about a lot too because I think that's excellent advice to document everything you're doing because

your boss has no clue and you're doing a lot more than anybody really feeling sorry for yourself. Yes. And if you don't have a big list, you have no business going and asking for a raise. No, I don't want to pay you more for the same thing you did. Or less than what I'm actually expecting you to do. But I also see people making the mistake of doing one of these glass door searches and looking at comparable positions in a company and then coming in. Gives up for armor. Maybe

I want to see what you're doing. I want to actually see what you're doing because if you've got evidence of all the things that you're doing, now I know what the value is. Yes. Not all the title. Right. You don't want to walk in and quote the average price that people are being paid

“for your position. That's what you mean by that. Yes. Yes. Yes. If you, I'm sure you must get asked”

this question a million times, which is I have no money. I have no connections, but I want to start a business. Where do you start? Start online. You don't even have to have a product. You can have a drawing of a product and sell it and make it once you get orders. I mean, world is open to you. Everything is equal today. When I started, you needed to have the right competition, the right person supporting you, the right money, the right connections. Today it's really not worth anything.

I hear more people say, how do I get the right connections? The right connections is not such a thing. You know, everybody you meet for me was a connection. I talked to everybody, but when I was talking to them, I really wasn't talking to them. I was interviewing them. I wonder what they could do for me. I wonder what their talent is. How could I use them? And then I would take them into my firm and employ them in the best use of them. I want to make sure that as you're listening and watching,

okay, that you got that amazing piece of wisdom, the Barbara just dropped. She basically said,

stop obsessing about connections because every human being you're talking to is a connection. You've got the best one on the internet. Connection to the whole world. Yes. But what I love that you said is you're like, when we were talking, I wasn't talking. I was listening and I was interviewing

“them. I'm interviewing them from how could this person help me? Are they interesting? Are they not?”

Are they ways to talk to you? You know, even though you think you're interviewing me, oh, what are you looking for? I'm going to hire you as my assistant. I don't love you before me. No, I can. I actually want to know something. Yeah. I'd be a horrible assistant. Yeah. You probably would. No, I would be a horrible skill set at all. Not my skill set. I'm terrible. I can talk. I can talk. I was

saying, yeah, my sales force. You'd be number one. Probably without a doubt. Yeah. I would because I understant to take the heat. It's a lot of heat in that business. How so? You know, you get like 10 rejections for every one. Yes. And then the most important trait you have is not feeling sorry for yourself or at least if you feel sorry for yourself, give yourself an hour and get back up. You know, my best sales people had just as many leads as a worst sales person and the worst sales

person always kept in a house for about a week feeling sorry for themselves when they lost a good

back in the game. And that wound up dividing the people making three four million dollars a year

from my average salesman at the time was making 60, 62,000 dollars a year. Yeah. I think in life, there's there's kind of two different types of people. There's the kind of person who looks, who gets, you know, in sales, you get delta hand because here's your leads. Here's your, here's your like whatever your region, your this or that. And so you get handed cards. And there are people that you're bitch about their cards and blame their lack of results on the

cards that they're holding. Plus isn't being fair. Yes, bosses in fair. These are bad leads, blobby, blobby, blah, and then there are people that realize it's how you play the game. And if the card suck, you got to move through them fast, you can get whatever hand or leave somewhere else. Yes. Yes.

“But you're in control. You're in control versus the boss in control. That's what fools people.”

People think when they're working for someone, that is their definition of their opportunity, their real opportunities and their own chest. They could leave that day if they chose. You know, one other question I had because I hear this a lot, especially with people to want to start a business or somebody that's trying to reinvent themselves or like I really want to do something but trying to come up with an idea. I'm trying to think of a problem. I'm trying to think

of a product that's not out there. I'm trying to if you could give somebody advice about how to think about the idea itself. What is the way to generate ideas around a business to start? I think you do anything you do in a day to day life. Stop examine everything that's happening and think is there a better way to do this, not just by yourself, but what other people are doing. If you're at a local store and it's taking too long to check out the on the cash register

or if you, you know, whatever you're encountering in daily life, just look at and say, how could I do that better? And within that are great products. All the great products are charting a better ways of doing the same old, same old. Even it's just making a pizza pie with a new pizza box. I mean, as ridiculous as it is, I invested in it because it was a better way of delivering

“pizza. You know, that kid, that's only idea and that's what he ran on chart time. Within that's”

why he's built the business. Just making pizza boxes. But he was trying to solve a problem

better than the last guy. And that's always where you find your solution to a new business.

So Barbara, what do you think the worst advice is that you could give somebody starting a business? All the worst advice is the same advice from mother gave me and yet my mother usually gave me great advice. She told me when I was a waitress when I announced I was starting my own business with race alone. She said, why don't you hold on to your job? You change so often. You need a resume. Build up your resume. And if you still feel that way in a year, go out into business.

But you should have a good resume. She was preparing me for a mundane job, actually. She didn't know it. But that's what she was aiming at. I ignored her and started my business. You know, it's so sad. I meet so many entrepreneurs that plan and plan their business for months. And the best time you do is a second you have the thought and minute you get out of the field, you find out what's wrong with your plan and change everything. But you don't have to get it right.

You just have to get it going. And my mother did not understand that mantra. She thought I should wait a while. Boy, if I had waited a while, I would have thought of five reasons on to do it. But I didn't wait. I jumped right off and did the business. And I was successful from the beginning.

“And what would you say is like the best advice you can give to somebody that is starting a business?”

Get going. I give that advice hold until I'm even with a half-baked plan. I say get going. Because I know when you're in the field, you find out the real plan. What's going to work and what's wrong with your idea and what's wrong with you and everything else that comes out. Because the real world, you can't plan things. I think business plan is so overrated. My god.

But to plan from afar and think I've got to get it right before a jump out, forget it. It just never

happens. You think of reasons why not to do it. And you've wasted all that valuable time. You know, one of the things you said earlier is so true and it's brilliant, which is with all the technology and the internet today. You don't even have to truly quote start the business. Yes. You can create a prototype that's even built by AI. You can create a wait list. You can. And so somebody comes to you with an idea. They say we've got a hundred thousand people

that have signed up for the wait list to be notified when the product is about to drop. That wait list demonstrates that people are interested in the offering, whether it's a service or it's a product. And so that that was not even possible a couple decades ago. And all what really happens on Shark Chang is entrepreneurs will come in once in a while with nothing more than a prototype. And they'll pitch how great it's going to be. They have no proof of sales. They don't know

who's going to sell it to. They don't know what they're going to do with it. But they believe in it. And if I believe in the person all by in. Now, once they're on Shark Chang, people call into order.

have it. But people will wait. They say, oh, I'm sorry. We've had overwhelming response. We'll have

“it ready in three months. And now that's exactly when they build the product. And their business”

has started late. You might say, but they have to courage to get out there with the prototype or drawing or something like that and people believed in it. And that's a great parameda that

they're going to be successful right from the get go. Barbara, you're amazing. I could just talk to

you all day. But I got hit the pause button. We love our sponsors. I want to give them a chance to share a few words. And I want you to give a chance to share Barbara's incredible wisdom and motivation and get up and go with someone in your life who's either got a business they want to launch or who needs a little inspiration or maybe it's somebody who's in their 50s or 60s or 70s. And you can't get them motivated. I bet you Barbara can and don't go anywhere when we come back.

We're going to talk more about how to use failure as fuel. How to stop hesitating and what to do when you're starting over and you don't even know where to begin. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.

“Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins. Today you and I are here with the one and only”

Barbara Corkran entrepreneur investor and shark on shark tag. And today she is showing you and me exactly how to beat self-doubt, reinvent your life and build real success. So Barbara, how did you become a judge on shark tag? Well, I was hired and then fired before I had a chance. Wait, what do you mean, why did they fire you? Well, they fired me because they landed on another woman. They said they preferred her. After I signed the contract which I reminded them

and they said yes, but we didn't sign it. I had already told all my friends I'm going to Hollywood. I was so embarrassed. I bought two new outfits, new luggage. There I was going to Hollywood and it was canceled. So I suggested to the producer that all my good luck came after rejection and I considered his rejection a lucky charm. And I wrote a short-term email to him and suggested he invite me out with her and compete for the seat. And that's exactly what she did. Then you're hitting

me. Really, I turned my good fortune around by doing what I did best, but I always do best,

getting back up, taking another swing, just looking at the swing. Do you know what the first day on shark tag my producer said, you know, we rejected 42 men that wanted the position in the other seats. I see you kidding. He said not one wrote to me. Not one wrote to me, objecting to the rejection. I, these are successful millionaires, billionaires. That's amazing that they didn't. You know what I find interesting? As so many people are not willing to ask for what they want.

And that's one thing about you. You do ask for it. Well, I've learned not easily, not easily. Women have a hard time asking for anything. You know what happens? I find you could want to climb a mountain with your team. When the men are halfway up, they'll say I'm the king in the mountain and they'll brag about it. Women will climb all the way up, set up the tent, make sure the kids are fed. Everybody's happy and say I had all the help of my team to get here.

Women don't take credit. They don't ask for help. They ask shy. What a waste. Open your mouth. My God. Opening your mouth gets got me everything I got without opening my mouth. I would have nothing. How many seasons have you been at jerks? You're going to go 1,000 like 18 or something, whatever. From the beginning. So I would love to have you kind of put us right at the scene because every single pitch is a founder. Yes. And an idea. And yeah, you got to say

all story or not. Yes. But when you're sitting there as an investor and a judge. Yes. What are you evaluating? I'm just evaluating the entrepreneur. I couldn't give a damn about the picture of the business that they're painting. Really. Usually very often the numbers are exaggerated. Everything, you know, you're getting a sales pitch. I'm looking at that entrepreneur and saying

“do I believe them? And in most instances, I'm not believing the sales pitch. But now I'm looking”

at the person and focusing on the person as to whether they're capable entrepreneur. And what I look for is something they've done in their life that was hazardous. Something they didn't in their life that they fail miserably. They have a father who is drinking. So a mother who damn them to hell, something they have to prove. And if I find that fire in them, they might not

have anything but that. But I buy in because they will always be successful. They want to get

even. They haven't had a chance. They want to get even. That burns so deep that I believe in them. And they're great partners. Because when the business is sold, there's so appreciative of this success that dream come true. That's so thankful. And it's so satisfying for me to see that full circle of success. When you are listening to a pitch, what is the difference between somebody that has that fire in their ballet and they're really confident versus somebody that is so

that's the last thing I need in my life. They're out right away. I won't say them out right away, I have to stay in the show. But you know, I have a simple test I do many times on a shark

“time. When I'm not sure about the person, I think, would I put my baby in their arms and could”

I come back and find my baby in good shape? And that's my test. I think, yeah, I would trust them so that you come my partner. That's actually an excellent way to judge anybody. Well, it's sizes everything up. How do you know if you're built to have your own business versus being somebody that should just work for somebody else and be great at building a career inside somebody else's company? I think it's a real dividing line. I think someone in their own business

loves risk. They're not afraid of the risk. Whether it be money, people, what they do with the day, their ideas that they have, they're not afraid of risk. It turns them on. It's kind of like a treat in their personality. And I think someone who's good in business has a good time getting back up. It's almost like a jack of the box. If you're at the type that says hit me again. I'm a jerk, hit me again. Chances are all you should be an entrepreneur. But if you're not ensuring risk

and you can't take a hit, you're better off working for somebody else. It's hard to develop that skill in you if you don't have it. I think you either have it or not. Yeah, I do agree with you and that.

“I do. That's what I'm trying to size up on Shark Tank all the time. Do people have those two skills?”

How do you figure that out? I ask them, you know, we have an hour and a half on Shark Tank. Like really, that's how long the pitch is. It's eight minutes at home, but it's an hour and a half on Shark Tank in real time. Wow. So we get a chance to ask some all kinds of questions that don't make good TV, but are very good for us as investors. And I less what did you do before? What did you think about that? Did that feel? Oh, how did you feel about that failure? What did you do after that?

So I'm trying to find someone who's strong, who's capable of running a business and someone who put all their bets on their business and they'd lost? What do I care? That's a good sign. They're willing to put all their bet on one business and they'd lost. I love it. But a guy who's telling me he's going to go back to bomb, pong, get family and friends financing again. And he's going to change

direction means they're going to lose you money again. I hate that kind of stuff. I never invested

in rich kids. I always invest in poor people on Shark Tank because they have a burn in their belly and something to prove and they're my kind of people. And I want to give them the opportunity that I was given. I mean, the one ticket that they might have their dream come true and I can make it happen is much more exciting than putting myself in line with the rich parents who funded the first business. Forget it. What are some of your favorite things that you've invested in? My favorite

entrepreneurs, and it's always about the entrepreneurs, not the businesses. I almost forget at times what business they're in, even though I'm helping them all the time, is the cousin's main lobster. I love those guys because the day they came on Shark Tank, they lied to me and I love them for the

lie. What did they lie? They told me what the sales were per month, but they never told me they were

only in business for a week. I thought I was buying into a big business. Now I was not. It was just one little lobster truck and they had been only open one weekend, but they had taken all the questions from Shark Tank for three years and they had practiced answering them and they were slick. They could sell. I love them and I had to buy them. What is your three month rule? After three months, when I close on a deal on Shark Tank, I invite the entrepreneur into my office and we review where he's

going to go with it business. That's always the time when something goes wrong. The prototype did come and write. The order was promised that it wasn't delivered. Something goes wrong. So I just sit there and ask, what do you think about what went wrong? And the people who blame somebody else I drop. I mean, they saw my money, but I take their picture off the wall or I turn it upside down more often. But the people who take it in the chest and take the blame that they should have thought

of this so they should have anticipated and they I know they're going to be successful because so

this is the people who are always successful. The people are honest and say, I'm in charge. I should have

been in charge of this and I'm taking the blame. I agree. Let's talk about preparation because you and I are both people that will outwork anybody preparation preparation preparation. Why is that

“such an underrated habit and skill to understand that over preparing is a key to being successful?”

Do you know why I think when you over prepare, you don't realize it, but you're building your confidence. And when you build your confidence, you come across more naturally, more believably, and you usually get the order. I've over prepared for everything in my life. I remember going and speaking with the Korkin group agents at junctions along the way where I had colesores both my lips because I was so nervous preparing for two weeks for a and one hour presentation to people who work for you.

Yes, they did. They were going to accept whatever I said, but I wanted to impress them.

right after the sales. I would have had a heart attack. But I over prepared so I could stand up there with confidence. And did I come across with confidence? You betcha. Did I cover all the millions of points I wanted to cover? No. Did I motivate everybody there? Yes, I did because I was confident.

“They wanted to be me. And you're confident because you prepared. And I think it's such an important”

story because these are people that work for you. Yeah. And you're not winning it. You're preparing because it matters to you. And you want to do a good job. Well, the more you know people, the more difficult it is to impress them because you take it more personally. You know, one of the things I'm curious about is, you know, having such a big public career and being somebody who's so competitive and entrepreneurial, how have you been able to have

successful romantic relationships marriage when you're out in the world? This is something a lot of women navigate these days. Like how do you balance barber out there in the world versus barber the mom and barber the wife? Honestly, it's probably the largest challenge to a successful one.

Now, I married Bill in a second marriage and he was the right husband. Bill is Bill. He's not

going to change whether he's talking to a pauper or a pope. Bill is Bill. And when I got really heavy at times, he would squeeze my head in and tell me to keep it in. Don't get too confident. So I'd love to him for that. But the thing that worked the best out of everything I tried was getting a separate bedroom honestly and getting a separate bed from Bill. Because I would invite him in and edit the romance into the marriage. And that's really the best advice I could give.

“It's really hard to be powerful and have a man who's not demasculated. You have to pick the”

right guy. So, you know, my husband Bill would call me and pretend he was a New York Times reporter. If he wanted to speak with me, I so expertly separated business from home. You wouldn't dare call me when I'm working. And my kids didn't dare call me unless they were dying. Then I would

hear from them. I don't think they ever died. But likewise at home, people at work would never

call me at home. It's my family time. So separating the two pieces was the only way I survived. And I didn't do a great job. But I did the best job I could. I'd like to talk a little bit more about your just insights about women and success and being successful. Because there is a lot of pressure. There is bias in the workplace. But you have always seemed to just pick yourself up, shake it off and plow forward, regardless of what was going on around you. You built one of the

most successful real estate businesses in a male dominated business. How do you want women to think about both the very real things that are against us in terms of the way that business is structured?

“But the opportunity that that creates and what kind of mindset you need to have. You know,”

there's always real things against you. But I did it a little differently than most. I never thought

of myself as a woman. Not a single day. Did I think of myself as a woman. I thought of myself as a competitor. Just like a man. I was a competitor and I was going to put you on to the table without a doubt by the time I finished. All right. So not having that liability or thinking I was weak or had a disadvantage of some kind or another was an advantage to me. And you know, I'll say that when we started this podcast, I had my own goal. I'm like, okay, I want to be the number one

ranked female podcast in the world. But what happened is, friend of my said, "Well, why female? Why not just number one?" And then I was like, actually, yeah, why am I putting myself in a category? Why am I not just saying, no, I'm going to go out and be number one, which I'm proud to say we were for 81 days last year. And I just you limit yourself in that regard. And I see so many women. I was doing it to myself doing that. Like, I'm only just a mom or I'm only going to be able to compete

against women or I'm only limited to this amount of success because I'm thinking about it in a certain way. Yeah. How does thinking about you just going out and competing? It freed me because when the boys would ignore me, I could have done two things. I could have said, "Oh, they're not being respectful because I'm a female and there's all men in this room." That would only make me weak. I take my chips and go home. But when I stood there and said, "You'll be sorry,

I'm going to outcompete you and I'm going to take your bacon." That was a whole different, I conducted myself differently. I acted differently. Imagine how different it would have been. If I said, "Tree me with this respect because I'm a woman." That's on fair. How am I going to change that? But I'm a competitor. I have the ability to get even. And I did get even. I make it sound like a vicious thing. It's just I didn't want to be put down or curtailed against what I was capable of.

to keep going? Because you literally started with a thousand dollars and built a company that you sold for what? $66 million? Yes. That's a lot of money cash. I wanted the cash in my pocket. That's a lot of cash. Yeah, it's stayed in the bank for three years. I didn't spend a dime. Not even on a coat? No, I already had the coat. By then I was a good coper. So was it that

“I'll show you that gave you the fire and the confidence? Because I think so many people don't”

have the... Oh, to keep going. Well, egg me on because each look at me or each demeaning way they treated me was so insulting I wanted to get even because I was vicious and competitive by nature. But that didn't give me the confidence to go on. The confidence that gave me

was everything I tried even if I tried 10 things five would be incredible. And they had never

thought of them and they would look and say how silly until it was working. Then they all imitated me and they were too late. By the time they imitated my corporate report, which I was publishing for four years and collecting press on and becoming the sweetheart of the New York Press, they started all publishing reports. What a joke. The space was taken. Not by a girl, but by a competitor. Myself. And that's just the way I saw myself. I chose not

to see myself as a woman ever. Well, as soon as I see people imitating me, that's when I know it's

“time to pivot. Yes, you're absolutely right, which is going to happen soon. I think it's already happening.”

In fact, I'm going to start a podcast for women only. Well, I'll tell you what. I would love to have you be a competitor and here's the other thing. I will teach you everything that we do because I know that even if you have the formula, you still have to do it. And it's very difficult. And nobody's going to do it the same way you do, even if they have the formula. And I find people to be very, very stingy. Yes. We're sharing information. And what I've learned about business is the

more generous I am with what we're doing, what's working. The big mistakes that we've made, the bigger our businesses. It's not at hiding things and being like scarce about things. It's almost like that philosophy that there's blocks in New York City where there's lots of restaurants and they're all successful. Yes. Because more restaurants bring more customers for everybody. Yes. Do you have a similar philosophy about something happened to me as a young salesman

that I never forgot? I want to start a marketing company. So I went into skies with a wig on

to a competitor's office, which is owned by a woman on site marketing company for the first time, owned by a woman. And I got copies of all her forms. I actually stole them. And I went back to my office and I was fully equipped to start and go in competition. And she called me on the phone in the morning. I died. She said, I understand you're my office. Yes, she come over and make an appointment. I'll show you everything I know. She was so gracious. I was so ashamed of myself.

And I realized what a mistake that was generous people who give it away have no threat. They know they're the best. They're always the people who give it away. So I've always been trying to be gracious to imitate that one time experience that I had. It's so true. I hadn't thought about the fact that when you're generous, it's because you have confidence in what you're doing so you're not threatened by what other people are doing. For somebody that's feeling like they're too old, I mean you, you know,

your mom at 46, you found the most success in your career while actually in your 50, 60, except like in your continued, you're not slowing down. I hope not. No. What gave you the courage? And how can somebody else find the courage if they're at a point in where their life, where they're hearing you? Because I know a lot of daughters and sons are going to be listening to this, sending this to mom, saying, hey, mom, 50 or 60 years old, you're not old, get going, listen to Barbara.

How do you must stir up the permission or the courage to go for something when you've already

always pushed yourself into a certain role? You know, I think the times what I was stopped

a hesitated about trying something new, it was because I was afraid of failing. And I was afraid of a life went on more of a public failure. I didn't want to get out there and let everybody see me fail. And you can't help when you're scared to think you're going to fail. It might not be real, but you think you're going to fail. What I learned as a young woman and nobody's watching and nobody gave it down, they admired me for trying. So all you want to do is get the brownie

points for trying, getting out there and getting going. Your kids aren't going to love you less. Your friends aren't going to say, oh poor, hard, they're going to admire you for it. Even

“you should fall flat on your face. But I think you really just have to get out there. I mean,”

so many people just don't get out there when they have a dream and what they want to do, just get out there and you'll find all the answers usually. But even if you fail, what's so bad about that? I remember you asked myself, constantly, what happens if I fail? And I would say, well, I could always get the job as a waitress at the Fortley diner again. I was happy then.

I was a great waitress. I could go back there. So I don't really think this is much to be afraid of the worst happens that you go home. Big deal, you're back where you were, you lost nothing really. And if you think you lose face, you don't, people admire you for trying things. They just do, they don't hold the failure against you. You hold it against yourself, though. It's so true. Hmm. What a waste of time. What a waste of a life. What a waste of a life isn't that true. Yes.

What do you want to excited about right now? Going forward? What I'll do for my next business. I feel like there's a next business in the offing. And I can feel in my bones. And as usual, I don't know what it is, but I know it's going to show me the face. So I'm looking around every corner. And I feel something good every day. But, you know, that Maria song on West Side Story,

“that's how I feel like something's coming. So something good. But what it is, I don't know.”

Oh, I love that as just an attitude about life. Well, it is what life is about. There's always

something around a corner. If you're curious enough to take a peek, always something around the corner. You are so cool. Sometimes talk to my husband, Bill, he wouldn't always agree with you. I'll be the one with my husband, Gras. Oh, good. If you had to distill down everything that you have shared with us today. Oh, boy. And there is like one takeaway that you think is the most important thing for the person who's been with us listening to just take away from this. What would it be?

Always is saying, you're much more capable than you think you are. I don't care who you are, who's listening. You're more capable than you think you are. You just have to think that way and find out what it is. Really. I hate people wasting their life on what they're not really liking. It's such a, it makes me, it's why I do this. It's really why I do this because I feel like the biggest thing that I'm trying to change is the discouragement that people feel that makes them

never do or try anything that makes their life better. Yes. I agree with you. That's kind of like

what I'm doing on the charting. Yes. Yes. I'm kind of thinking far more cork and what are your

“parting words? I think to waste a life is such a shame to have a dream about what you may have”

been and what you could be, what you didn't grab a hold of and what you regret. It's such a waste of time. It's just a now and just think about how many years you have left to be the new you might say I could never do that while you're mistaken. You can do it. If I from New Jersey a poor kid could become the queen of real estate, that's perfect proof that you can really become anything you want to be. Anything. There's no barrier. Nobody's in control of you, but you.

That's all. That sounds hokey though when you say that, right? I don't think it does. Okay. Good. Because I do feel that way, but it sounds like why do you feel it sounds hokey? Because I feel I've hurted all before and it sounds like raw raw. I'm not doing a raw raw. I'm doing a reality check on what really is possible and what's not and because I see it as real, it hurts me so much when people don't really accomplish it for themselves when they desire it.

Yes. It just seems wrong. It just seems wrong that they should have a life that's fulfilling and have a life that's exactly the way they want it to be. And I really do believe people could

“just make the life what they want. I do too. I don't think it's hokey at all. I think it's the”

most important thing you could say. And the reason why is you and I have done it? Yes, so we have

right to say it, I guess. And we also know how it's a matter of stepping through something that you've erected in front of your ability to just start trying and to have the clarity to say, you know what? I'm tired of the way my life feels. I want it to be like this and I'm going to just wake up every day and do something to walk toward that until I freaking get there. And you're right about doing something to walk toward it. Most people find it insurmountable like, how could I ever get to be?

It's not that it's the first baby set is everything in my counts and the next baby is seven and the next baby is seven. It's believing a step at a time. It just never comes overnight, you know? It never does. And what I also love that you said over and over is you can always go back to where you are. You could always go back. What's the worst I could happen if you could do that? You can do it absolutely. The worst I could happen is that you never tried. Yeah, Barbara Korkin. Thank you so much.

I love you. You're the best. I love you back. And I love you. I love you for making the time to listen to something that can help you see a bigger possibility for your life and help you achieve the dreams that you have. I hope you really took to heart what Barbara said. What a waste of a life if you just sit back and think about what you want. Take everything that you learned and get out there. Follow the rules of Barbara taught you and do it. And in case no one else tells you, I wanted to be

to create a better life. And it would be a waste if you didn't get out there and try to create a

better life. I really hope you do. All righty. I will be waiting for you in the very next episode. I'm going to welcome you in the moment hit play. I'll see you there.

“So I know your age. Yes you do. How will you? You have 58. I'm 70. What am I?”

I've stopped. I love it. What am I? 76. Well I knew I was 75. 76 around there.

Oh, you look fantastic. Thank you so much. I even better. You got the best attitude of anybody. I agree with you. I have a good attitude. Thank God. I feel cool.

I mean put a blanket on you. Nah, it's just because I'm nervous. You're nervous. What the fucking

you know why? I'm not usually nervous but my team gave you such a blowout. Rave on the way here.

“I started getting more and more nervous. Was there enough at your age group?”

Because we're two old bitches. So you know. Well said. I'm into you now even though you think you're interviewing me. Oh, what are you looking for? I'm going to hire you as my assistant. I don't love you before me. No, I can. I actually want to know something. Yeah, I'd be a horrible assistant. Yeah. You probably would. No, I would be a horrible assistant.

“Probably not just a skill set at all. I love what Nelson said. Isn't that a pro strip?”

Oh, and one more thing. And no. This is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.