Wrestling Nerves: The Moth Podcast

standing at the precipice of something big.

“Whatever you want to call it, we've all felt it and we've all had to push through it.”

On this episode we'll be visiting two moments of high anxiety, the day of a big work presentation and the day of a high school wrestling match. So we're wrestling with nerves, both literally and metaphorically.

First up is Chris Bell, who told this story at a Boston Story slam where the theme was

backpired. Here's Chris, live it them off. I'm slouched at my kitchen table. It feels like I have an iron spike lodged in my forehead. This is the fifth day and I can't seem to get rid of this sickness.

I just want to crawl in bed and cancel my life for an entire month, but I know I can't. So I take a bite of an everything bagel. And I can feel the crunchy seasoning on my tongue, but I can't taste the thing. Even my morning coffee isn't giving me the same kick.

“So I think I should just quit and keep that promise I made to my wife for years.”

But I know I can't deal with caffeine withdrawals and when I'm already worn down.

So not today, today's too important. See, six months ago, I came up with a business idea. And my boss liked it so much that he wanted me to present it at the next big meeting. So for months, I've been working to perfect this presentation and today's the day. If this goes well, it could mean a promotion.

And that would be huge for both me and my family. So my plan is simple, get to work early, review my notes and mentally prepare to knock this presentation out of the park. Sickness or no sickness, I need to come with my A game. So I throw some Tylenol in my bag and I go to leave the front door and God picks this

“moment to remind me that I have children.”

My teenage daughter screams, "Dad, the washing machine is flooding the basement. Turns out she took every piece of clothing we own and stuffed it into one wash. Apparently she wanted to get her chores done quicker. So as I'm feeling water penetrate the soles of my shoes, her little brother comes downstairs and tries to convince me that he wasn't playing with my razor again and the hairs on his

right eyebrow just fell out on their own." So as I'm juggling my little hand grenades, I'm already an hour late for work. So I'm flying down the highway, I finally make it to my desk, three minutes, three minutes before my meetings about to start. I'm sweating, my notes are everywhere.

I go to log onto my computer so I can join the online meeting and my screen greets me with incorrect password.

I'm like my password has always been the name of my first dog with a capital Y or is it

a lower case I? So after what feels like forever, I'm finally able to reset my password and join the meeting. Only to find out I now have five minutes to give a 20 minute presentation. So what happens next is a lot like watching me fall down a flight of stairs. I stumble, I stutter, I load the wrong slides and when my presentation is over, I'm just

faced with blank stairs. I am so disappointed and mad at myself right now. I want to flip my desk over and punch a hole in the wall, but I don't. I take a deep breath and a personal day and I go straight to the store to get the one thing that will make me feel better right now.

Chocolate ice cream. So I'm at the grocery store and I pick up my ice cream, I go to check out and this lady with 623 items just narrowly cuts in front of me. And she saw me with my one item and I know she did because she gave me a look like she still thinks it's the 1950s and we shouldn't be shopping in the same grocery store.

So now I'm not only sick, I'm also angry. So somewhere there's video surveillance of me slamming my ice cream down on a magazine rack and stomping out the store because I can't, I just need to get home. I can't be around anyone right now.

I'm lying on the couch, it's dark, I have ice on my head, my wife finally arrives.

She asked me what's wrong, so I tell her. I don't know, I have been sick all week, I can't get rid of this headache, I'm messing up at work, I'm screaming at people at the grocery store and it just feels like everything's out of control right now.

“And I think I need to talk to someone and her expression turns heavy.”

She sits down next to me and she says, babe, you know that coffee's really not good for your high blood pressure, right? And I'm like, yeah, I know I'm going to quit, I promise. She's like, no, no, just listen to me, I want it to help.

So last week, I secretly switched our coffee to the caffeinated.

So after I came back from Starbucks, I'm feeling 110% better. Three months later, I get another opportunity to present my idea. And this time, I wrote my password down on my hand. But more importantly, I'm no longer drinking coffee. While my wife's heart was in the right place, her plan to have me go cold turkey was just

a horrible, horrible idea. But it did help me see how addicted I was to caffeine. And that was the motivation I needed to quit and keep the promise I made to my wife. But between you and me, everyone's in a while, my wife will give me this little smile. It makes me wonder if that was a plan all along.

Thank you. That was Chris Bell. Chris is a storyteller from Boston who finds inspiration in everyday moments as a husband and father. Whether sharing a personal story or taking long walks through the city, Chris connects

with life's simple joys, especially when pizza is involved. Personally, I don't think anything should come between a spouse and their daily caffeine intake, even with the best of intentions. Up next, a story about making weight back in a moment.

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Welcome back. Our next story is from Craig Goodorf, who told this at a twin city's story slam where the theme was "Stakes." Craig, live at the moment. Every high school wrestler has a story about losing weight.

The stakes are high, because if you can't make weight for your match, you don't wrestle that night, and if you don't wrestle, your team might lose. But this isn't a story about a wrestler losing weight. In fact, it's just the opposite. So let me set the stage for you.

I'm on a bus with my high school team. We're going to a neighboring school, we have a meet that night.

“We get off the bus, we go into the locker room, we all get in line because you have to”

get on a scale in front of a referee to weigh in an invalidating that you are actually achieving your weight class, that you don't weigh too much. I get on the scale that night, I weigh 181.5 pounds. Big relief. You see, I'm wrestling 185 that night, I'm 3 and a half pounds under weight, so relieved.

Except them, my coach speaks up and he says, "Hey, ref, I changed my mind. A Craig is actually going to wrestle heavy weight tonight," and the ref goes well, that's a problem. You see, to wrestle heavy weight, you have to weigh a minimum of 185 pounds.

That's right.

“And how much time does he have to gain this weight?”

Nine minutes.

So my coach says, "He has nine minutes to gain three and a half pounds."

Reft goes, "Uh-huh." My coach looks at me. He looks at the water fountain, start drinking. So do you remember those water fountains in school, though, the white porcelain ones, where you'd push your thumb on the button and hardly any water would come out?

So I attached my lips to little spout and I'm sucking up the water, I'm sucking up the water. And then, I got there two minutes, I gained half a pound. This is drinking too long. My coach yells, "So somebody runs to the sink, they grab a cup, they fill it up, and

I pound it down."

“Again, he yells, "Go to the sink, fill it up with the water, pound it down.”

More he yells, keep repeating this stuff. I've drank like six glasses of water, and you guys, I'm so full. I get on the scale, I still have two pounds to go. Back to the sink, fill it up the glass, drink it down. The Reft puts up his hands two minutes, back to the sink, fill it up.

Oh, I'm so uncomfortable.

Finally, get up on the scale, with seconds to spare, the Reft gives me the thumbs up.

My Reft, my coach gives me a high five, he's a great, nice job. He goes, "Oh, by the way, that guy over there, he's your opponent tonight." And I look over across a locker room, it's a 240 pound gorilla. And I'm 185, a big waterfall, a belly, hold on, a big belly, full of water. That's what I meant to say.

Anyway, the match starts, okay, we all are out there, the light weights go first. The teams are evenly matched.

“They win the first one, we win the second.”

They win the third one, we win the fourth. It keeps going and going, and the pressure is building in the gym, and the pressure is building in my bladder.

Finally, it's time for the heavy weights.

The score is tied, it's winter take all of, I win, we win, if I lose, all is lost. I get out on the mat, I shake my opponent's hand and the Reft blows the whistle. We start circling each other cautiously. Suddenly, I shoot out his legs, I take him down to the mat, I turn him onto his back, and my teammates start cheering, and my coach shows, "Panom, Panom, and I'm squeezing

him so tight, but my stomach's about to explode." And I'm squeezing and I'm squeezing him and finally the Reft blows the whistle, slaps the mat, matches over, I've won, I jump up on my feet, jump up on my feet. My teammates rush out onto the mat, but I am long gone. Back to the locker room to take a long awaited P. Thank you.

That was Craig Goodolph. Craig is working on his first novel, and also performs with an improv troop called Eaton by Locus. He continued wrestling throughout his high school career, and was also the intramural heavyweight champ in college. Making wait for wrestling match was Craig's high stakes moment, and Moth stories are all

about the stakes. Why did a person stand to gain or lose? Do you have a story where the stakes were high? Call into our pitchline and share a snippet of that moment with us. You can go to our website, TheMoth.org/Pitchline.

We'd love to hear it. That brings us to the end of our episode. Thanks so much for joining us. From all of us here at TheMoth, have a story where they weak. Suzanne Rest is the Moth Senior Curatorial Producer, and one of the hosts of TheMoth

Radio Hour. In addition to finding new voices and fresh stories for TheMoth stage, Suzanne creates playlists and helps curate special storytelling events. This episode of TheMoth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austen-Geness, Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Mark Sellinger.

The rest of TheMoth's leadership team includes Gina Duncan, Christina Norman, Marina Cluchai, Jennifer Hickson, Jordan Cardinalae, Caledonia Cairns, Kate Tellers, Suzanne Rest, and Patricia Orenya. TheMoth Podcast is presented by Odyssey. Special thanks to their executive producer Leah Restenus.

All Moth stories are true as remembered by their storytellers. For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story, and everything else, go to our website TheMoth.org.