Meghan Markle’s Emmy Longshot, Jennifer Garner’s DELUSION, and Andy Cohen’s Creepy Behavior

The Nerve Hello and welcome to your Friday edition of The Nerve, I am your host,

“Maureen Callahan. We have a roster of brand new criminal cultural offenders. There were so”

many that we had to punch some into the into next week. As often happens, we are doing a complete week in review of celebrity news. We have got daytime Emmy nominations and I would say one of our top three criminal cultural offenders was nominated. We have got theories. We have got someone who is treated in the culture as just miss little perfect or little miss perfect. I should say who drives me up the wall and is out there promoting her new terrible streaming show. I watched

all of it. It was an epic hate watch. We are going to talk about it. We have got a new potential

“troublemaker in the celebrity cohort as well. We have got a breaking news alert. It is a 911 alert”

Tracy Ellis Ross, who inspired the inaugural edition of The Nervey Traveler, is back with her much threatened season two of her solo traveling. If you thought our initial many took this woman to the wood shed then over to the wood shipper, the stump grinder and the burn pile await Tracy. Okay, and we're going to throw your dry brush in as well. Actually, we can't. The dry brush has to go in the nerve wing at the Smithsonian. Forgive me. I spoke too soon. Then we have a original

troublemaker artwork of none other than Teddy Van Halen. We have a troublemaker further moving the Andy Cohen story that we began telling on the mini last Saturday. Hi, Andy. We know you're watching Keep Us Blocked by all means. Keep Us Blocked. We've got a ton of really interesting feedback

plus. The second of three postcards that have been sent to me by a writer claiming to be

one steadman gram. Again, as soon as I'm finished reading this postcard to you, it goes right on the top of Teddy's pile. Oh, and we also have a major anniversary that passed on Thursday, passed yesterday. Again, most of the mainstream media romanticized this gloss over it. Not at the nerve, not at the nerve. Trouble makers. We've got work to do. And so we ask, are you ready? Are you ready? Let's go. I'm pitched a lot of skin care products and I do turn most of them down,

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tubes and co.com/nerve and code nerve for 25% off your first order. Now, as if we needed any more evidence that Hollywood and the celebrity industrial complex are in decline, the Duchess of despair and endless grievance was nominated for a daytime Emmy Award for her unwatchable Netflix series with Love Megan. Now, was Megan a nerve award winner 2025 of course she was. But you know, there's a difference between the nerve awards and the

Emmy awards. Okay. Do you think the Emmy's would ever recognize a show like the nerve

of course not, but it makes total fucking sense that they would recognize this trick

who came across as so wooden and uncomfortable in her own skin who didn't even film this show, this cooking lifestyle hosting show in her own home, whose own husband looked like it was a

“hostage situation when she finally dragged him out for like the final episode. I think Tom”

Calicchio was in it and Tom looked visibly uncomfortable at their quote unquote banter with a Harry Dare to say that like her mother's gumbo was better than Megan's or something like that, you know, and he knew that was going to get her. He knew it. Anyway, I believe that this is the exchange that cinched Megan that difficult to win nerve award 2025. Here is Mindy Kaling also insufferable for other reasons. We'll get to her at some point. Mindy Kaling looking starry odd,

almost star struck with Megan in the kitchen and trying to make Meghan Markle seem a little bit relatable. And you know, if there's one thing Meghan Markle does not want to seem despite the ostensible premise of this show that Netflix just can't bend tossed in the garbage this year, it's this exchange here we go. I don't think anyone in the world knows that Meghan Markle has eaten jack in the box. It loves it. You keep saying Meghan Markle, you know, I'm Sussex now. You know,

I'm Sussex now. You know, I'm Sussex now. You fuck with it. Oh my god, she's fucking insufferable.

“If you would like some real entertainment, may I direct you to a little spoof called, I believe”

it was called with love Megan with a Y. And that is Megan Kelly and I spoofing that entire enterprise. Megan played Megan and I played the role of quote unquote the friend, the hostage, really. That was fun. You know, we walked out the whole day for it and we knocked that shed that shed out in like two hours and it was all ad libged. Do we get recognition from the academy? No. Now a few other of the esteemed nominees at the daytime Emmy Awards, we cannot wait. You know,

as discussed, the nerve is going to do our second Emmy red carpet live stream, but that's for the

prime time Emmys or the Emmy Awards that Erin prime time. I don't even know the difference anymore. Again, it's so irrelevant. We're just, we're just there for the for who shows up and how they look and the the the the the inanity that will take place on the red carpet now among those nominated. Again, here at the nerve where we prize punctuation, grammar, allocation, literacy, these dummies at the academy nominated Mario Lopez of access Hollywood. Listen, if Mario Lopez was so fucking

great in his job, access Hollywood wouldn't be dead. Okay. It's we're watching like a patient on life

“support. The show has been canceled. I think it's last episode's air in October. So square that's”

circle. Mario Lopez who on I think the most recent nerve we ran the sound bite of him mispronouncing the word bodice as discussed that is a fourth grade vocabulary word. Tops. He said bodice in a voiceover that could have been fixed, but apparently it's just an army of embezzles over at access because nobody caught it. Entertainment tonight is up as well, but it's

outstanding daytime talk series the third hour of today. Al Roker of I started at the White House

Al Roker who Billy Bush came on the nerve to talk about how chronically unprepared Al is how he's the worst interviewer on television and how mean he is mean mean Dylan drier picker out of

“a lineup. I defy you and Craig Melvin who we hear at the nerve do suspect is a secret trouble maker”

because the guy is no longer attempting to hide his disdain on the air among his colleagues. My favorite Craig Melvin story is and his colleagues told this on the air. So you know like they know that he fucking hates them. They were like, yeah, every time we have to fly for work to cover something Craig makes a big production of putting in his earbuds and putting on like his

his eye shade, his night shade, basically making it clear that audio visually he will be having

no interaction with us. Don't even try. Craig, we salute you. I do the exact same fucking thing in your shoes. Exact same thing. Fourth hour of today got nominated too. Jenna and Chanel. Don't

“you know that brain trust. Sorry Jenna and friends. Marlene had just said Jenna and Fred it's”

isn't it Jenna and she oh probably because Chanel joined this this iteration was after the deadline but Chanel should get used to it because she is hardly a sparkling television presence the Drew Barrymore show again explain it to me explain it to me. Kelly Clarkson deserves it. She got 11 nominations. She's quitting the show very soon. Thank you for your service Kelly. Live with Kelly and Mark and the view and we have a banger of a story involving the views on premier race

hustler, sunny Austin and you're gonna die. Okay. You're gonna die. We're holding it. First we have to

get to more important things and people moving the culture. The Odyssey is opening this weekend. Christopher Nolan's the Odyssey. I have been very intrigued to read reviews from legitimate film critics because the promotional push for this thing is so hardcore. On the one hand I understand it like you're trying to mass market a 3000 year old Greek myth. It's not accessible to the average movie gore who's like what are we gonna let's just go sit in the air conditioning for three hours.

I get it. I get it but there was also something about the push that made me worry it was perhaps over compensation. I do want you know what I'll talk about it next week. I'll talk about Matt

“Damon's GQ cover next week. I like Matt Damon but this is not advisable I think. Anyway,”

I'm very very interested to see it. I want to see it in IMAX and so it's gonna take me a moment to get to it. A lot of the IMAX screenings in New York City are completely sold out and I'm on Long Island at the moment in an area where there are zero IMAX theaters nearby. It's just it's wild out here sometimes it's wild. Anyway, we will be discussing the Odyssey now on to some more terrible streaming. Jennifer Garner has been out beating the drum for her new peacock limited series called

the Five Star Weekend which was adapted from the Ellen Hill the Brand novel. You know Ellen Hill the Brand is a blockbuster bestseller and almost all of her novels are set on Ellen's native nantucket. And so this okay I have a lot of problems with this thing a lot. I'm going to try to just crystallize them. Jennifer Garner plays she's she's got one speed you know she showed a lot of problems with alias and since then she seems either preoccupied and/or typecast with playing

a little misperfect part you know a type A like her characters actually quite there's a lot of dark stuff in this peacock series that they kind of like turn around and just try to make sunny and quirky and funny and the control freak nature of the and the and the sheer narcissism and and callousness of the Jennifer Garner character is one of them okay just just one. Secondly Chloe 70 who I when I saw her in the promos for this thing I was like

she's married now I think the husbands in the art world is probably not making a ton of money. Chloe 70 came from like the indie world she was working with like the harmony currents, the Larry Clarks, the Lars Vauntriers of the world and then she's in this like very sunny peacock thing

“like this gals weekend set on nantucket she's the best thing in it best thing in it she brings”

some edge she brings some edge to it the other thing that this this peacock adaptation aligns which apparently was a major plot point of the book is the the class warfare between those those who stay on the island natives who remain on the island who talk in the show about

never having gotten off the island having left the island and those who did leave and went on

to fame and fortune like the Jennifer Garner character yeah so so the main thing so there's there are two things and I'm I'm shocked nobody's talking about this and it might be simply because when Jennifer Garner goes on a show with those brain dead human avatars genobush hager and Chanel whatever her last name is they're just not culturally literate they're just not

“Timothy all of it who we will get to uh who I love plays Jennifer Garner's old flame high school”

boyfriend who is still like inexplicably single like he's the hottest guy on the island okay he's sing and he fixes stuff he's a hot guy who fixes stuff he likes shows up at her house one night and just starts cleaning her gutters and she kicks him away like a puppy like who would kick a puppy she's like get the fuck out of here man I got problems he's cleaning her gutters also um there is zero sexual chemistry between Timothy all of it in Jennifer Garner

if anything they they they they relate on screen more like siblings Timothy all of it has actual chemistry with Chloe seven yay like you can tell they're both probably a little sideways in real life you know what I mean um but Jennifer Garner like Miss Percy perfect like there's no way a

“guy like Timothy all of it would keep coming back for this bullshit you know for some wholesome bullshit”

food blogger um anyway the pat that this is this this series five star weekend is catching release part two it's a remake of catching release which was a mediocre rom-com I'm sorry it was in which Jennifer Garner also played a woman whose significant other dies suddenly and is stuck in her grief and then learns that actually her perfect significant other was cheating on her and Timothy all of it in catching release is the guy who's waiting in the wings the best

friend of the dead fiance who's just dying for Jennifer Garner to give him a second look

it's bullshit now the other thing is um is that uh the the real the the Chloe seveny character storyline this this is a five star weekend we begin on Friday at ends on Monday morning she confides in the Jennifer Garner character that she has had a biopsy that she may have breast cancer and that she is not getting her results until Monday morning and what happens when Monday morning rolls around and the gals are on the beach and they're they're going uh then they go

over to the uh the fairies to drop everybody off um does Jennifer Garner once asks the Chloe seveny character hey what's going on did you hear from the doctor? no no she does not and this to me Jennifer Garner is an executive producer on this thing Jennifer Garner probably purchased this thing for herself because nobody's really looking to hire her my opinion um no and and and and that's the narcissism of the actress there too a smarter more dialed in empathetic actress would have

said we have to have a moment where my character stops everybody from this this these are the girls by the way they're all the the women they're all fighting amongst themselves as to who is really closest to the Jennifer Garner character please please um she's a bore she's a self involved bore um i self right to stick in the mud no they're all like oh my god did you smash your hot

your hot former boyfriend from high school did you guys you guys have sex i've never heard the

word smash use for sex ever and she's like yes yes we did yes we did but you know what i told

course Timothy all of it boomerangs back on the beach he's like come on i'm just gonna hang around

“and wait for you like it's anyway back to the cancer storyline no there is no and and and the”

Chloe seveny character and the Jennifer Garner character have a moment to themselves after everybody all sports the ferry and they're talking about their their new found closeness and again Jennifer Garner fails to ask about her biopsy results and i'm telling you my father had cancer you you know this stuff there how do i put this there are people who when you're facing a catastrophic diagnosis like that you are a loved one there will be people in your life inevitably who will break your heart

like who you never would have thought would have either responded poorly responded in a way that

made it about themselves or just acted as though nothing nothing happens nothing's happened to you your loved one and there's no way back from it i'm sorry if foundationally changes a relationship if not finds that person removed from one's life forever and there's just no way in the real world that the Chloe seveny character would have forgiven that i'm sorry none okay now we do believe we have spotted a new troublemaker in the wild i have been a fan of Timothy Olivephans since the film

“go i forget what year in the nineties it was released i think it was the director Doug Lyman's debut”

movie Doug Lyman went on to direct mr and mr and mr smith movie that broad nand you got together on go was like a commercial bomb but it's but it's an independent movie it's it is a clock it is a cult classic it should have been bigger than it was it was a little too weird a little to ahead of its time but it also stars seripoli who is uniformly excellent extremely talented Katie Holmes and in go it's a dark comedy and Timothy Olivephans i think his character's name was Todd

and he played a drug dealer who the like i had never seen a character like this before like

an actor like this before like i fell in love with him in this movie he plays this drug dealer and these girls wind up in his loft and you're like this guy he's either gonna fuck me or he's gonna kill me and i it's kind of worth taking the risk you know i'm saying so anyway Timothy Oliveint you know gives these interviews he does a lot of interviews with Conan O'Brien

“i think they may be friends in real life and um he he he kind of tells the truth”

about a lot of stuff and it's kind of very entertaining so we put together a little montage to present our case to you the troublemaker audience that uh Timothy Oliveint may in fact be a troublemaker whether he's aware of it or not here we go sometimes we'll Kelsey grammar he's in a he's a republican he's not gonna get the nomination right that was clear it was a little thing i read somewhere i thought it was interesting you really believe that acting is

easy they tell me what to say they tell me what to wear i just it's a piece of cake really stand over there and say this here put this on you're saying of all those people not weren't they was a jerk yeah like one like we had one or two like douchebags you know a little you know that you know tell me i mean i've watched just if i watch it who was a douchebag it was on you you you uh you met him he was on the show i mean all my names we're not gonna name names

but the only person from your show that's that i've interviewed on this show is patina's wall that's my dad love it love it but we must go back to Jennifer Garner promoting her new peacock show on uh with Jenna and Chanel and and Jenna and Chanel we're so far up this woman's ass they were they the way they introduced her they were like she is a beloved actress according to whom don't you can't editorialize like that um she's a philanthropist she's

an entrepreneur she's this she's that oh my god oh my god and then they talked about what an

incredible mother Jen is what an incredible parent and it is fair to go after this because this

is part of her brand okay she has made it her brand those kids have been in the public eye

said before do you know what that name is kids look like could you really recognize them on site

“no they come out maybe once in a while on the red carpet but they're grown now they they can they can”

decide what to do we've been seeing photos of violet and the other two children forever so it is fair fucking game here they are here's their parenting discussion here we go I love when you said that you don't apologize to your kids about work that you thank them for their patience and they're understanding that you don't apologize yeah because work is part of life and i get so much joy from what i do and i would by the way i really do believe that any job

i've had i've just really loved that getting in there and doing the best that i i mean i like to work yeah but we are just now that they're older they you know when i was when they were younger i

“struggled with it so much but now that they're older they're just like thank you for showing us that”

work is something to be enjoyed okay first of all i've never ever heard of a child saying to a

parent thank you for showing us that work is something to be enjoyed like what who talks like that secondly that thank you for showing us that work doesn't always have to be tedious it doesn't it can be something you can enjoy that is a very privileged statement privileged excuse me very privileged statement there are plenty of people who clock in and clock out who do not have the luxury of a calling of enjoying their work of making millions and millions of dollars at their work

of having luxury of taking as much time off as you please and i am sorry but if you were such a

great parent your 20 year old daughter wouldn't still be masked up she still wouldn't be convinced

that there is a pandemic happening she wouldn't be photographed walking on her own into an urgent care facility as she was recently flanked by both parents i don't know what 20 year old needs your your mommy and your daddy to get you to urgent care she seems stunted she seems she's not well as i've said before but not in the way that she thinks she thinks her physical health is at risk i'm sorry this is this is there's something there's something wrong here

and by the way we're going to show a little bit of violet aflac speaking at the UN and that that's why this is fair game violet aflac is using her parents fame to catapult herself to the floor of the UN where she's giving a speech conveying upon people who can make things happen to force the rest of us to mask up again because it would make her feel more comfortable here we go but when i come to the ongoing pandemic our present is being stolen right in front of our eyes

for adults the relentless beat of back to normal ignoring down flag and concealing both the prevalence of airborne transmission and the threat of long hooded manifested in a series of choices young people lacked both real choice in the matter and information about what was being chosen for us so she's saying that young people lacked real choice but she's trying to impose her will on everybody else also that speech she gave was last year and note she said the ongoing pandemic

yeah Jennifer Garner did a great fucking job listen to her

“her other child who was born a girl named saraphina i think now identifies as non-binary or trans”

that's not the point here the point here is that that child used Jennifer Garner's father's funeral so that child's grandfather's funeral to announce that they were now going to go by Finn no longer to be known as saraphina but by Finn and presenting as a boy here's footage from inside this private funeral here we go hello my name is fin afla now i i i i i i preface that by saying it was a private funeral because how do you think that footage got out that was taken by a friend or family

member the press wasn't invited to that it's inside a house of worship journalist can't just

that i think my working theory of the case is that it was it was so difficult in that house to get

“attention from two famous parents whose personal problems were all over the tabloid media”

whose marital issues for years were all over the tabloid media one of them is still masked up and running over the u_n_ the other one is hijacking a grandparents funeral okay okay moving on to trasy Ellis Ross you know we've been asking here at the nerve where is season two of solo traveling where is it season one in which um trasy went to three different countries and apparently left her hotel room inspired the inaugural

season of the nervey traveler which aired over the holidays in 2025 that week before christmas and

“new years we are actively planning the nervey traveler season two to shoot later this year um we are”

going to be avidly keeping our eyes on uh how trasy comports herself in season two of this uh roku series uh you know one of the things we went after her hard for was um uh weird series shut up dry brushing we'll get to it she dry brushes in public before we do here's a riveting report from people magazine upon season one the headline and i quote trasy Ellis Ross reveals she brings two pairs of underwear while traveling here's why i can assure the editors of people magazine

that there is nobody who is interested in why the other thing to know about trasy Ellis Ross is that she thinks she's hilarious and she will utter any number of banalities and then explode into fits of hysteria as if she was like Dorothy Parker at the head of the roundtable a reference i am sure she does not get she doesn't seem that right to me she doesn't Ross 52 reading from the people magazine article explained she's often used a hotel sink and shower gel

to hand wash her under garments she'll first use one sink as the washer with a bar of soap so which

is it a bar of soap or shower gel then use the other sink to rinse off the soap and hang up her underpants on the towel rack to dry this woman as we saw in um the nervous traveler sorry in the in the original solo traveling packs everything she packs everything she packs her entire wardrobe number one number two she's staying in five star hotels where you you leave them your laundry and they do it and they return it to you folded and individually wrapped in like tissue paper

the including underwear okay i think she heard barber walters is story that um when barber walters would go on assignment you know to like the middle east or whatever that she packed really light so that she could be just very nimble if she had to move quickly and that she would wash her underwear in hotel sinks that's where i think she got this she's she does not have an original thought rattling around at empty head of hers continuing from the from the people magazine piece

on July 18 she took to instagram to clarify her packing mo i quote from Tracy this is hilarious

“if you have to tell people that something you do is hilarious it's not what Tracy claim”

is hilarious i pack two pairs in my carry on in case my luggage doesn't make it what's the punch line what's funny about that the Amazon underwear oh my god i can't all right before we get ready to revisit this trick let's take a look again at Tracy Ellis Ross engaging in the supremely unhygenic act

of dry brushing on an airplane and you know she's gonna lift up her leg she's in first class

she's dry brushing every okay we can stop it there it's so disgusting it's so disgusting she's dry brushing every part of her body as discussed those particles those dead skin flakes

trace she probably thinks you should be lucky to inhale her dead skin flakes do you know what i mean

“and when the nerve called her out on that um she went to instagram after our episode air”

we know she watched we know you're watching Tracy we know and she she like a toddler she took out a dry brush on a deck somewhere and started aggressively dry brushing and looking into the camera like she was very angry very anxious very defiant she's going to continue dry brushing and public keep going sister someone's gonna arrest you for indecent behavior in public if you're someone who is looking to lose weight but you are not interested in painful weekly

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and Alyssa our segment producer blocked blocked I tell you blocked we love it we love it I received an email which I do have to open my laptop now because it's on my laptop

“from a trouble maker named jack and this trouble maker said love the mini about Andy's”

debauchery and noted that we did bring up the radar online article that detailed Andy Cohen's relationship with the 28 year old when Andy was 47 and I also alluded to a well sourced person having told me directly that Andy likes them even younger than 28 and by which I mean teenagers that is the report that I have from a very well sourced person directly jack this trouble makers writes as you may know Andy regularly features attractive male bartenders as I candy

on watch what happens live I do he is admitted jack writes to hooking up with one of them in the past I did not realize that jack continues in 2016 Andy had on a 17 year old boy named Frankie Katania bartending on his show and openly flirted with him throughout the episode I am familiar with Frankie Katania because he is the son of New Jersey house wife Doris Katania and when I tell you how sick and fucked up this echo system is if I had a teenage son first of all I wouldn't be

anywhere near reality television let alone the housewives but secondly I would never let him anywhere

near the likes of Andy Cohen who by the way probably thought he was being cute and clever and getting away with it by doing it and playing site by doing it on television because people would think oh he's just being fun and cute and flirty there's something sinister here otherwise why would he do it on TV that is exactly the point that is the trick that is the Jedi mine fuck right there Katania jack writes was born on October 8th I love trouble makers you guys are

the fucking best Katania was born on October 8th 1998 this episode aired on July 31st 2016 so Frank was indeed a minor this episode season 13 episode 129 high Andy appears to be scrubbed from the internet but here are some remaining screenshots and tweets from fans who are already calling it inappropriate at the time thank you jack for sending these screenshots and these comments about Andy Andy seemed like a perv last night Andy Cohen is shamelessly hitting on Frank Katania

Andy he's 17 keep your tips coming keep your tips coming we're gonna get Andy fucking flushed out of the culture okay now an update on psycho arsonist Ryan Reynolds the story came out last week

Ryan Reynolds this is per USA today it is the nerves it is among our missions that whenever a

“mainstream media news source even one as anemic and bloodless as USA today covers Ryan Reynolds”

they refer to him properly as the nerve does psycho arsonist Ryan Reynolds. Psycho arsonist Ryan Reynolds backed aviation gin shutters Oregon distillery published July 9th 2026 by Anthony Thompson the piece begins the aviation American gin distillery and visitor center in Portland Oregon has closed its doors okay USA today took the press release and spat it back out this is not there there there are no reporters left there this is AI this is AI

listen listen to this the company behind the celebrity backed spirits brand is shifting its production strategy shifting its production strategy it's failing it's it's like Meghan Markle you know um I'm I'm I'm I'm grouping together um very specific kinds of jams and flowers sprinkles like no Netflix fucking cans your ass they shipped back all the perishables that they were holding in refrigerated storage and said it's your problem now

sister and she's on the hook for a $10 million loss but it's a brand pivot it's a strategy change

it no it's it's it's a fail it's the culture has had it with fucking Ryan Reynolds they don't want to support him he's a fucking monster he's a mean mean fucking guy he's a bully he made his own daughter say something in a film that she begged him not to say it was so

“vulgar and it's such it was a sexually vulgar line of dialogue because aero daughter I believe”

I'll slap someone stick out of your mouth she said daddy I don't want to say it this is Ryan Reynolds on the bonus commentary for Deadpool V Wolverine and Ryan's Brian joked with his director and he

said so yeah I guess you know we but we made her say it like 50 to 500 times it's a fucking monster

and we here at the nerve are rooting for you to know what it's like as you did to Justin Baldoni to have your back up against the fucking wall and to to fear losing everything because the culture's had it with you you piece of shit okay moving on moving on sunny who is now officially nominated for a 20 to 26 nerve award this is a very under-reported story because sunny has got a lot of friends in the media a lot of similarly thinking friends in the media so you're not like if this

if this person were of different a different stripe politically I would say you would see this covered all over the place but the New York Post is reporting that sunny's 24 year old son Gabriel was stopped by police up in westchester newer shell where sunny and her and her husband who I believe is an orthopedic surgeon these people do very well for themselves they are multi-millionaires he was jogging alongside railroad tracks in defiance of multiple no trespassing signs and so the

“cops stopped him you you have to stop somebody who is trespassing your active railroad tracks”

it is a hazard it is a safety hazard this kid said kid he's a man excuse me he's a man I want you to talk to my mother to the cops I'm going to read from this report Gabriel Haxton 24 was spotted jogging the cops stopped in question him these sources are the cops who questioned him trust me just my opinion quote they were just talking to the kid because he was trespassing but his mother made it an issue he okay he was like I want you to get on the

phone with my mother according to these sources cop one and cop two they then got on the phone with the television personality who allegedly asked if they knew who she was this is the quote again seared into my frontal lobe and no contraction not I'm I am I am sunny Haxton and I am on the view as if that's something to be proud of rather than embarrassed by don't you know who I am let my kid go I listen she wrote a letter to the DA in the he got a citation he got arrested he got a citation

she's written a letter to the DA in which she does not identify herself as this 24-year-old man's

Haxton Esquire she's a attorney and she wants the citation dropped and I think just the act

of writing that letter the DA should not at all drop that citation that letter should should affirm her decision to make this kid show up in court and like pay a fine for being such a privileged entitled piece of shit and for having a mother who not only intervenes in this but has the fucking to merity to say don't you know who I am okay two more two more one a cultural offender and one somebody that we love who we love excuse me somebody who we love

Lenny Kravitz is on the cover of men's health magazines 2026 summer issue magazines are just

dying dying dying dying we're doing quarterlys now men's men's health used to be a monthly

“I believe anyway this is amazing again because nobody is covering this the way it should be covered”

which is are you fucking kidding me are you fucking kidding me we're gonna look at Lenny working out in Jackie O sunglasses and a full head of dreadlocks that are just flying all over the place not at all pull back in a bond everyone who works out knows you get your hair out of your face and you wear proper clothing and you certainly don't work out in expensive I wear a guarantee you these sunglasses cost $800 at least but we we have to watch the video together because once

he starts getting into real action it's like again it's a camp performance for the ages I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead Marlena I I think you will agree with me that Lenny too here is now a

“nerve award nominee 2026 welcome to the wood shed Lenny here we go there's many ways to train”

there's different things that can assist you but our whole thing is about doing it naturally the message is you can do it with dedication with hard work that's the way I've chosen to do it it's 100% real by I'm in a crowd and I'm gonna show you how I train it's 100% real I listen just my opinion 62 year old men I don't care how much you work out do

not present that way gravity always wins look at Arnold Schwarzenegger who was a professional body

builder a professional athlete his skin is sagging Lenny has had lasers he has definitely had some surgical interventions he is probably on like human growth hormone or at some other kind of end or some other kind of metabolic steroid that that is that is an that is an unreachable goal for most men let alone 62 year old men okay so don't let Lenny fool you okay and don't let men's health and the celebrity industrial bullshit complex fool you and make you feel bad about yourselves

and mobros I am talking to you directly page six is reporting in a piece published on July 15th 2026 um again their headline you guys you got to go harder on this okay you got to just say the thing their headline is the surprising reason Lenny cravets works out in leather pants really you got to say Lenny cravets is out of his fucking mind and claims he works out in leather pants Lenny's quote I perform on stage in leather denim whatever so those are the pants I wear to train

I don't think that's healthy for you I don't think that Lenny's junk can breathe properly in denim or leather it feels like there's going to be a p tree dish going on okay now our managing editor Sophie right before we got to this sent an emergency text to me and

“to Marlena saying do you guys remember this we should add it and we were like holy shit we should”

totally add it entertainment tonight's coverage of Lenny's penis popping out on stage his pants are so tight he fucking ripped his pants and his penis popped out published on August 4th 2015 here we go things didn't exactly go Lenny's way on Monday when he accidentally spun his pants open while performing on stage in Stockholm completely exposing his

reporting if you would brought if you would like to rise from the dead tell us what what what

what was the size give us something how did people react when did Lenny realize this happen did he like it did it did how long did this go on for did he have to go and leave it you don't mean anyway we conclude the we can review the nerves we celebrity we can review and Lenny you know we will we are going to have to woodshed you but we will however build you and a wing that is

“dedicated to working out you you have to work out on your own you we're not even going to let you out”

in like the you know the yard as it were as it were Mick Jagger on July 11th or published

July 11th gave his given an interview to to the New York Times to David Markazy who we we would

shed it for his interview with Lena but but we're here to talk about Mick because Mick Jagger has been famous for the bulk of his adult life and Mick Jagger is asked about fame and and if it changes you which is a stupid fucking question of course it's going to change people of course it is but Mick gives a very smart considered and I think fairly honest answer he's not sitting you're going oh I'm just a regular person I'm just like you he's not and that's that's fair that

“is fair and he talks about how it's it's actually completely abnormal to be as famous as he is”

and how careful one has to be when you hit that level of fame here we go it's not normal well it's not like most people's lives it's not but yeah it does affect you you can become disassociated from other people and a lot of people in show business only hang around with people in show business because because they got saying common you know they because they can relate to each other you know and and the you get disassociated from what people might real life

do you think you have oh yeah definitely definitely and then you can I mean you you can fight you do fight against it is a conscious effort it takes conscious effort to fight against being disassociated what do you do to fight against it well it's quite easy really I mean you just you just you just go out and walk on the street on your own and go do normal things and go by the new times it's fascinating I could listen to him talk for for quite some time

but I just I love Mcjagger I always have if you haven't seen performance

“in which Mick Jagger he he's he's sort of playing a version of himself I think it's Nicholas”

Rogue who made that movie I could be wrong I saw it I think Lincoln Center was doing a revival of it I saw it years and years ago and there's this incredible moment in the movie where somebody observes of a very young beautiful Mick Jagger I think that guy's going to age weird who know performance great film it's really really cool if you haven't seen it I recommend coming up we have a major anniversary that will not go unnoticed here at the nerve we have a troublemaker art

involving one Teddy Van Halen and troublemaker feedback including we have another postcard signed by one stedman gram allegedly reportedly we are back in a minute now that summer is here we're all looking for lighter fabrics and better materials pieces that breathe and look effortless and feeling credible the moment you put them on this is where quince comes in I love this company before advertising on this show they said to me Maureen why don't you pick

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this artwork from trouble maker Allison from Canada who sent this email to me it included two

“images two AI images of Teddy one he is at a typewriter look at the paper is the nerve”

he's got like a mug next to him I can't quite make out what the mug says like look at the dogs in the background who are like in the newsroom I've I died I mean that is little Teddy's face it is like his generally happy disposition his little pause his eyebrows that are just so expressive I died

over this Allison I died and then the second image of Ted is Teddy out on the street in like a noir

film in a trench coat and a hat and like it looks like a speakeasy is over you know or like the nerve is this way obviously it's on speakeasy because it's advertised with a neon light but I

“actually kind of want a commission like a neon light like that for the nerve maybe for our Emmy”

night or who knows what but Allison I loved your contributions to the nerve we are archiving them Smith Sony and wig wing excuse me and they may make an appearance on my social media at some point okay now Thursday marked the anniversary the 27th anniversary of John F. Kennedy Junior killing himself his wife and her sister in a holy avoidable plain crash and I saw you know coverage of this it wasn't very detailed because 27 is not a significant anniversary those are usually

in chunks of five like 25 30 35 and actually I always kind of wondered why it is as humans we

really zero in on anniversaries when they're in fifths or tenths there is a very elemental theory makes a lot of sense that it's because we have five fingers on each hand Ted in total kind of make sense anyway the footage and the coverage and what you see on social media is a lot of romance sized bullshit and you know that here at the nerve we are hell bent on making sure that the true story of this suicidal homicidal act is the one that is memorialized in the history books for

successive generations and I'm going to read a little bit of the salient part regarding this crash and how the Kennedy's imported themselves immediately after not the Ryan Murphy version of love story okay this is from Ask Not page 282 before John schedule take off for other pilots hadn't been able to land at the Essex County airport that evening without using their instruments John did not know how to use his instruments the haze was getting so thick that one pilot decided

not to take off that night visibility was only about four miles and none of that pilot's friends were willing to get in his plane John hobbling on his crushes around his six seat hypersaritoga was given clearance to take off at 838 p.m. despite defying one of aviation's most basic rules filing a flight plan once in the air he defied another and cut off all communication

investigation report it was the pilot of American Airlines flight 1484 with 128 passengers and

six crew members aboard who inverted one disaster that night a small hypersaritoga had climbed above its designated airspace this was John in the air less than 20 minutes now on a collision course with a commercial airliner John was oblivious ground control alerted the American Airlines pilots 852 ground control American 1484 unverified appears to be climbing pilots American 1484

“we're looking ground control yes I think we have him here American 1484 pilots I”

understand he's not in contact with you or anybody else ground control nope not talking to anybody

without knowing which way the clueless pilot of a small prop plane was going the American Airlines pilots had to divert from their path to avoid a midair collision irony of ironies they were about to land at John F Kennedy airport after the crash Ted Kennedy rushed in to do damage control he had the remains hastily autopsy the medical examiner's report and photos sealed then arranged for cremation the Kennedy's had little compassion for Carolyn and Lauren's family

“John's sister Caroline and her husband Ed showed not the slightest remorse or kindness”

to Anne Freeman she had lost two of her three daughters Lauren's twin sister Lisa was now her soul surviving child and was terrified that the Kennedys would use their power to bury what remained of Carolyn and Lauren at the family plot in Brookline Massachusetts and wanted her girls close to her in Connecticut and she needed to have worried the Kennedys told Anne that they did not care John's remains however belong to them and he would be buried separately in Brookline even

Robert F Kennedy Jr. who I am no fan of but what he writes here this I this I this I am with

“he was horrified as he wrote in a diary entry dated July 19th 1999 the crash was July 16th”

this is three days after Anne has lost two of her daughters in a horrifically violent holy preventable crash I won't even call it an accident I mean John F Kennedy Jr seemed he seemed to make it his mission that night for that plane to crash I don't think it was an accident in the true sense of the word I actually do believe that whether he was dialed into it or not he was on a murder suicide mission anyway RFK Jr. in horror writes the agenda for the day was to get

Caroline and Anne together without intermediaries so there wouldn't be too many cooks in the kitchen when Anne came down to New York City however Caroline didn't show instead she sent her husband

Ed and Vicky Reggie Ted's second wife all the beset family knows that Ed hated Carolyn

and did everything he could to make her life miserable he bullied bullied bullied the shattered grieving mother they told her that John would be buried in Brookline and that they could do with Carolyn as they pleased that's the Kennedy for you that's the fucking Kennedy for you now one final piece of art before we get into some feedback an anonymous troublemaker sent this this is art of me and Marlena as like a crime fighting duo in some kind of streaming series called

like the nerve and I died I died this troublemaker would like to remain an on anonymous you are but please we love it we love it okay now before the latest missive from someone claiming to be

missing persons slash silver alert case um morine back at the inception of the bravo real

housewives franchise Andy Cohen was a happy go lucky personality during his watch what happens live broadcasts and reunion episodes about seven or eight years ago I noticed a change in his personal presentation his eyes became black and soulless I agree I agree Andy has become a monster mean

“nasty and now that I think of it the real housewives has become a war zone of the worst kind”

I haven't watched watch what happens live for a while so I'm not sure but I don't think they take alcohol shots off that board thingy anymore he calls it a shotsky I think they might but it's a good that's a good observation you might be right troublemaker who asks that I share this anonymously

and notes finally there is no celebration of anything and that is a very true high marine

keep this anonymous please you got it I used to work in the entertainment industry here in Australia many years ago Russell Brandt who we have covered on the nerve toward Australia the show finished and Mr. Brandt exited the stage only to return about 10 minutes later where groupies had gathered I watched and this is a very common thing but it's relevant in that

“Russell has rebranded himself I think unsuccessfully as a man of God you know get accused of rape”

we find God stashong combs I watched as he pointed at certain young women and his off-cider took note and arranged for delivery of said girls to Mr. Brandt it was as if he was selecting desserts from a trolley while I do know that this happens regularly in the industry his blatant arrogance left me feeling equally angry and queasy at the same time we get it completely okay now this is from a troublemaker who sent a screenshot this troublemaker reports that she was

reading woody Allen's autobiography it's called apropos of nothing I did read it and you know regardless of what you think of woody Allen I would say put that aside because it's really about Shama Lama Ding Dong this screenshot which I love troublemaker I'll call you troublemaker E

“is I'm not sure they can okay this is woody all three leads in his film rainy day which I believe”

was shelved we're excellent and a pleasure to work with woody writes Timothy afterward publicly stated that he regretted working with me and was giving the money he made from the film to charity but he swore to my sister privately that he needed to do that as he was up for an Oscar for call me by your name and he and his agent felt he had a better chance of winning if he denounced me so he did fake fake fake these people are thones and furrows moring your shout out

for people to get video of stedman in high point on Friday my friend Sarah and I are so there we live in high point North Carolina have found out where he's speaking it's supposed to be a community event but I have to call to RSVP tomorrow we are keeping you anonymous so that you don't have a problem even if we can't get in we are going to hang out in the parking lot and at least get video now troublemaker number one we are so appreciative of you taking this on number two we'll get

you Teddie's contact information and number three please if you can it's most important that we get

audio of stedman so if you can please approach him identify yourselves tell him you're from the nerve you're a troublemaker and that we have had a 15 month long open investigation as to weather he is okay we need to know that this is not somebody she's hired to imitate stedman we need vocal proof okay anything you can do anything will send you a nerve gift bag if you can get audio okay and finally this is two of three postcards that are signed stedman gram now for all I know

this could be one of Oprah's minions who she has deputized to throw Teddy off the scent I wouldn't

mailed from malan this one has been mailed from Florence Italy dearest mooring I love that if

“this is stedman that he calls me dearest I do love it I have finally tasted freedom in Europe”

I will be living out my days here and being a gun for hire to cover my expenses now that I am out from under those thumb I can truly live stedman gram keep your feedback coming email me please at

mooring at double maker media dot com or DM me on instagram at mooring calahan writer or at the

nerve show and don't forget to subscribe to our sub stack that is our weekly email you can go

“over to the mother ship that's the nerve show dot com and you'll see a prompt would you like to get”

the nerves weekly sub stack it is our email filled with bonus original content and Teddy's got a regular column go in there Paul from New Zealand contributes new art weekly I put in my notes my recommendations things that I've worn or discussed that you guys have asked me about whether in email form or the youtube comments we all gather there it will wind up in your inbox on Fridays hours after the

“last full nerve of the week but before the mini on Saturday and if you can five bucks we'll get”

you extra access and that five bucks really does help the show to grow so if you can we would be most appreciative if you would consider it nerve merch grab something for yourself or pick something up pick some top level shit up like our top level shit hat for a fellow troublemaker at shop the nerve dot com we will see you tomorrow for the mini in which we are going after another self style media mogul this is someone who has been famous for decades someone who has

again our homeland crime board all of the offenders we're now connecting the dots you know this is this grew out of Andy this person's way more famous than Andy the way more famous than Andy and by the way has had a bipolar power social relationship with me for years now like those new who I was even before I did the nerve and like apparently I've had read my shit and apparently really cared what I thought who knew who fucking knew you guys are going to die I died I died the mini tomorrow

see you up see you over at youtube at 10 a.m. please join us back here again next week as well

right here at the nerve where you will never guess what we're about to say next