Meghan’s "MasterChef Australia" Mayhem, Royal Backlash Over her IG Post, & her Mean Girl Behavior

I can't afford our pretzels.

“I've been eating these forever and I love these much my mom does too.”

Megan Markle, decanting a bag of store bought peanut butter filled pretzels into another plastic bag.

One of her first ever hacks shown to the rest of us peasants welcome to the nerve.

Hello and welcome to your Tuesday edition of the nerve. I am your host, morning, calahan. I have a little bit of a throat issue. I'm warning you up top but even that will not deter us in our mission today was there ever a question about today's nerves number one topic. Of course not. Megan's episode of Master Chef Australia premiered on Sunday evening. We are going to go through it together. You know there was a trouble maker who emailed last week

and in a hyperbolic but you know understood sentiment said I feel like sometimes you deserve a purple heart for the stuff that you watch and endure so that you can report back so that the rest of

us so we don't have to and this this I of course I would never say it's served anything like that.

But I said to Marlene on Monday morning this one it was a salag. This was hard, hard going but going through it together worth every, every minute of pain of excruciating.

“Can don't this be excruciating I think it can because I experienced that oxymoronic feeling”

and then we have a supermodel, a legendary supermodel who is going to dismiss once and for all the notion that no less than an icon such as Marl Streep said I had no idea I had no idea this individual was up to what he was up to for decades and then we've got trouble maker feedback and so we ask are you ready are you ready let's go we are well into summer and who among us would not like to feel more energized or less bloated and or just more confident so try adding cowboy colostrum to your

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Tracy Ellis Ross with what you're wearing today and I said never would I ever and um no I am

channeling steve next today I come to you at my witchiest and bitchiest now Meghan Markle on her special episode of master chef australia was introduced i'm these australians were trolling her

“I think beginning to end they were trolling her the only one not in on the joke Meghan Markle”

her intro quote one of the biggest superstars for this moment and um watch the gend up excitement like who could it be who could it be here we go who is this I don't want to I don't want to get it I don't want to get it yeah I just want to be what she is a global icon here that's kind of persistent credit a humanitarian a woman known around the world for

cooking and beautiful artisanal food products all the way from sunny California please welcome to master chef australia the Duchess of Sussex oh my god no mega heart like the red sea boys here she comes like an apparition like a religious apparition I love that shot from below we're all beneath her there they go spreading again oh wow yeah the devil cares

yeah they won't forget it trust me trust me that is one of the longest entrances to a reality

“competition I've ever seen ever and I really think that the direction like from the side of the”

sound stage was like keep it going keep it going keep it going you know like Andy Cohen's probably got those people he's got like 10 guests in his studio on any given night at that sad talk show of his watch what happens live um yeah I just don't think those people were that excited to see the

discount Duchess I don't now what's amazing is that master chef you can tell that production

and the network fuck-in-haided mega-markle because they let this piece out onto social media before the episode even aired and it's the behind the scenes of mega-weighting to make her grand royal non-royal entrance um wait till you see what what it looked like behind the scenes versus on set here we go please welcome to master chef Australia look at a car park oh but Duchess of something oh my god no there's an office complex behind her

this new thing out for creases here comes the she getting the cue to start oh there she goes she got the cue he has to ascend these stairs I don't know why she should have just been able to start without

“having to ascend stairs and heels but again I think they fucking hated her that moment was apparently”

Megan's first source of great frustration reportedly allegedly because the host of the show

had again reportedly allegedly referred to her as royal in that otherwise meaningless bladder of alleged accomplishments she's a philanthropist prove it show me your tax returns uh she's a humanitarian I mean if you call destroying uh her husband's relationship with his entire family of origin the work of a humanitarian sure sure

known for her love of host is saying I mean her her she's sitting on a reported 10 million dollars worth

“of uh merchandise that she can't move of as ever merchandise that she can't move and when we see”

what the um production team of master chef Australia stopped their pantry with again they're trolling her trolling her now before we get go any further we must discuss Megan's uh what she dropped on Instagram on Friday she definitely definitely again like Andy Cohen was definitely not reacting to the nerve no way was she reacting to our explosive nerve at night with none other than lady C who came on to talk to us about her

incredibly well-sourced reports that Harry is allegedly in love with another woman who is also allegedly in love with him this woman is in and around Montesito allegedly age appropriate and reportedly according to lady C sources Megan knows all about it because she found

what lady C had to say about her sourcing that um lily at least lily if not both children

“were born via surrogate that Megan Markle did not give birth to lily that lily surrogate gave”

birth in Colorado and that lily was hand-livered to Harry and Megan via private plane just a couple of the bombshells just a couple telly as discussed is on the ground in Montesito right now sniffing out the identity of this other woman updates as we have them so less than 48 hours after the nerve at night dropped with the subtlety of an atomic bomb Megan goes to Instagram

and posts a car cell of reels a car cell rather of photos and she captioned it summer holiday

she's as effective as ever you're not British lady you're American we call it vacation

“not holiday comments are off as ever comments are off let's look let's look first the black and white”

photo of Megan laughing his so hard so hard she's to cover her face not at all fake her husband's arm around her we don't know what date these were taken she's she's posting them as though they're contemporaneous now we're on the beach with one of the children again far in a way she's shopping she's another child let's get to the money shot which is Harry and Archie far ahead both holding huge bouquets of flowers lily trailing behind

they are at al forp which is Diana's ancestral home it is where Diana was buried on a private island so as to prevent her grave from becoming a magnet for freakshoes okay so as to prevent her grave from becoming a tourist attraction and a commodity to afford her the dignity at rest that she often was short shortened shorted I should say in life and that's a whole other complicated conversation but you know what I'm saying have we ever ever ever seen photos of Prince William

Katherine Princess of Wales and or their children at this hallowed place we have not I call him down this over at the Daily Mail over the weekend this this I mean that is that is the the Nadia for Megan I mean it's the bottom I mean just

when you think she cannot go lower she out does herself as I've always said Megan's the best

of being the worst but that entire car cell opening with the two of them looking happier and more

“in love than ever and then the children going to visit Diana's grave I think that that that”

dump was meant to serve two purposes one to refute all of those reports brought to us by lady see right note like she hasn't denied them Harry hasn't denied them they've said nothing they just she just published those photos number two I regard those photos as an act of territorial pissing it I think lens further credence to lady sees reports from her sources that Harry does indeed have another woman and that is not just a fling that is a love affair that's the act of someone who's

really desperate you can all a desperation has a scent to it you know it's got a smell it's one of the things Teddy tells me is leading him to some very solid leads back to master chef australia what are we to call Megan the host is very politely asks on set you know again is this a troll a kind of thing so because that's the kind of thing that has worked out with the master chef australia camp and Megan's camp long before she sets foot on that town stage okay or should I say clothing hoof

she's the devil Megan's the devil my opinion before Megan sets one of her manicured clothing hooves onto the set of master chef australia it is worked out contractually what she is

high-volt footage to go by let's take a look you know I'm Sussex now you know I'm Sussex now you know I'm Sussex now you know I'm Sussex now

was relatively recently right that was within the past year so so she's Megan's Sussex right we're supposed to call her Sussex Megan's Sussex let's take a look do we call you Dutchess oh call me Megan absolutely

“I'm just Megan I'm just Megan now remember Megan allegedly reportedly invited herself”

to appear on master chef australia when these outlets are going to learn that the stink of guamarkle is very it's it's more difficult it's a more difficult order to remove than that of a scunk spraying you okay Megan leaves a stick at her husband too wherever they go whatever they touch they turn it into a disaster area they turn it into a hazmat site what do they call those things in America they call them super funds super fun site is a site in which there is so much toxic waste

and sludge like it's gotten into the water supply into the sediment and if you decide to live there

you are basically signing yourself up for like eight different kinds of cancers that no one's ever

“heard of before that's what Megan and Harry leave behind super fun sites now it also wouldn't be a”

Megan Markle appearance anywhere if she wasn't making somebody cry allegedly reportedly post polling yo who apparently is beloved in australia apparently Megan and she's the woman we just saw in like the very pretty pink ballerina dress asking you know Megan what do we call you she she was nothing but polite to the point of supplication with Megan okay Megan apparently

made that poor woman cry this is per Dan Wooten on his recent podcast outspoken

citing a new idea is an australian magazine citing a new idea cover story this was published on July 23rd 2026 Dan Wooten here we go oh no she's done it again Megan Markle has just made the judge of australian master chef a household name beloved figure in australia polling yo cry during filming that if you're just listening to this if you if you're not looking at it catch the real later because Dan showed the cover the new idea cover

“and it literally says Megan made or cry like that's what it says and you know these two are”

litigious as fuck so you know that story was legal the eight ways to Sunday the report from new idea published on July 24th 2026 the headline inside Megan Markle's master chef australia debut I love how they're calling it a debut because that to me implies like she might be back trust me she will not be back she will not be asked back she may ask herself back and I think they're going to give her some sort of lame excuse like

we're stacked for the season don't call us we'll call you new idea what didn't make it to air and I quote ahead of Megan's master chef debut rumors we're swirling of some awkward moments behind the scenes promotional material touting Megan's upcoming appearance sopo introduce her as quote royalty however news dot com a you claim Megan and her team were quote frustrated at the Duchess being referred to by the term having specifically told everyone at master chef

not to use it trust me again those are conditions that would have been hashed out long before I continue from the new idea report when the episode aired the mention of royalty was cut out instead as we saw on her she was introduced as a quote global icon philanthropist humanitarian and business etc etc and then of course the report that they were at reportedly outside the studio when the introduction happened so they didn't know what had been said

until the advertisements aired which I don't think is true because as we saw from the backstage footage which we now know was released with purpose Megan was obviously able to hear her cue her introduction

her ear telling her to go we didn't do we see anybody do we see a handler do we see a crew member

“waving her on we did not this trick oh my god now po was apparently upset at having accidentally”

gone against Megan's wishes which says to me that Megan raised holy fucking hell it's one thing to be like you know what would you mind like I'd rather not like I'm so sorry this is my own thing has nothing to do with you that there's a way to do it there's a way to do it again allegedly reportedly bullying file this thick at booking him palace keep on tagging the palace Megan keep doing it that was also an FU to King Charles and Prince William what she did

with that photo of the children and Harry at Alforpe that was a fuck you that was her rage explosion you know lady see told us last week on the nerve at night that King Charles when he received

“Prince Harry and the children he made he made Megan wait outside in the hallway alone”

Megan by your reporting was made to wait outside in the metaphorical hall alone while Harry went

in first to see King Charles the children went in first to see King Charles Megan was last to be

granted entry tell us what this means it's not just a humiliation of Megan but the the royal family is telling her something very stern non-verbaly the man they're telling her you've long since forgotten your place and now you're going to be reminded of it and you've had the whip hand and you've been abusing us and I'm afraid you no longer have the whip hand and you're not going to be but abuse is any longer and they don't say any of that they simply keep her waiting and that's

all they need to do to get the message across that was King Charles telling her you're really not

“wanted here you are tolerated at best we have had it with you that's what she did she can never just sort”

of take a learn you know she as she told Emily Chang at Bloomberg news you know the learns the learns she was she was experiencing from all of her failures her multiple multiple grave bombs she can't instead she has to she has to she has to she has to she has to go scorched earth and and she thinks that that's that's getting one over on them she's a child the she's a toddler emotionally now new idea says after Poe was made greatly upset by the way veteran of competitive reality

television I'm sure this woman's seen a lot sure she's dealt with a lot she was so upset she she reportedly was pushed to tears new idea I quote she was willing to reach out immediately the insider says but Poe was advised to leave it for production to handle which means just my inference that Megan was so incandescent with rage that Poe was told even your attempt to apologize in person will not go well let us handle this for you now as we

watch these clips of Megan attempting to interact with the host the judges and the contestants they're down to the final four so the stakes are high as if she's a human being and not a blade runner replicant of such uh you're going to see and again like if you're listening to this episode this is one where I would say really if you can carve out the time go over to the YouTube channel and watch this because so much of it is in Megan's compartment and in Megan's facial expressions

which again allegedly a professional actress of many many many years she does not have a poker face she cannot fake it I don't think she cares to fake it you know my theory one of my working theories of the case Teddy agrees is that she's a sadist she's a sadist she loves making people feel uncomfortable we saw in the in the clips we showed last week where um Harry showed up at her final Netflix with love Megan and um Tom Kalikio is there of American top chef and um

Harry comes in and she says oh guess what we're making a salad with the following ingredients and she lists them off and Harry says oh so you mean like everything I hate and she laughs and she says yeah

Megan's out of her depth here she's always looking to poe or the judges for what she's supposed to

the dynamics on set didn't always match what viewers will see in the final edit several of the

“contestants frequently gravitated towards judge poe for reassurance and feedback rather than focusing”

solely on Megan as the headline guest claims one show spy when the judges approached the contestants benches the Duchess of Sussex did not provide much commentary or input it was a bit awkward at times says the source you could tell Megan was wondering what was going on and again allegedly reportedly Megan is a self-described big fan huge of top chef australia she's asked when she first joined some on the show on the air big fan big fan who isn't she says that who isn't a

big fan of the show apparently Megan Markle the reporting also is the Catherine princess of whales is apparently a huge top chef fan and so this is yet another instance of Megan attempting to copy the princess of whales who you know a very this is conventional wisdom working theory of the case

“that Megan is just subsumed with rage that she's not the princess of whale so she's not beloved”

that she's not the one who's married to whale you know that she's not the future queen of England if you ask AI they'll say that that quote attributed to Megan in which she reportedly said re meaning she and Harry are just one playing crash away from the throne AI says that's fake but I'm not buying it I've heard it too many times and I don't know what other twisted mind would come up with that other than Megan's and it's just my opinion that Megan's a twisted sister it's just

my opinion that she is a twisted mind continuing from this juicy beyond juicy new idea report throughout the episode po explained how the show worked so she's explaining how the show worked

to Megan in real time Megan apparently no Megan doesn't like to do the preparation that's always

been the line on her so you know she didn't even really watch enough episodes to get a sense of how it works I mean I have a glancing familiarity with top chef I know how it works a second insider the report continues adds that there was an early expectation that Megan would be the central focus of the day but the reality on set was more quote uneven producers were note these reported leaves these are the lawyers at new idea these are the lawyers the source trust trust you me

said this without the word reportedly in there I'm going to read it to you within without note the difference producers reportedly stepped in several times to keep filming on tracks as the source versus producers had to step in several times to keep the filming on track so they could make the day so they wouldn't go into overtime which is very costly after all the source continues Megan is one of the biggest international guests the show has

“ever secured so it was important she'd be a key part of the episode that's code for this was the”

mother of all heavy fucking lifts Megan has asked how it feels to be back in Australia here we go how does it feel to be back in Australia oh we're so excited we love Australia we had the most

sentimental amazing time we were here almost eight years ago we announced we were pregnant with

Archie at the time so it's full circle here we are but the rest of us is really good through so she's asked about Australia and she makes it about herself she makes it about herself and she says oh it feels so sentimental we attach a lovely time if you're idea of a good time is allegedly reportedly according to this very stubborn report throwing hot T on an aid who has most displeased you now the reports that we cited last week had it that Megan threw the hot T into the air

which I find very difficult to believe because as I said you don't get enraged at the air the air doesn't have an emotion the air doesn't care about you like what does the air done to you except give you oxygen and exchange for your carbon dioxide what does it do you know why would you be enraged at the air now you're enraged at someone or something that she I got emails from people they were like you're right no it had a person she also apparently

reportedly was so vile the way she spoke to diplomats on that tour nobody wanted to deal with her nobody wanted to deal with her so you know again as discussed if I'm a producer an executive

T leaves hot T and I'm using code words like diplomacy you know things like that things like that

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style is really relaxed I grew up in california and so as you know no credible produce so I

think you just start to really love farm to table and early age my mom's an incredible cook

and I grew up watching so many cooking shows so I taught myself how to cook how to get creative with

“what you have and yeah I just love it and I love being able to nurture through food I think”

it's a beautiful thing to be able to do wonderful those faces say it all those faces say it all listen I had to attend this was a really painful night for me a couple of years ago Megan Markle was given some bullshit award at the glorious dynamiz foundation awards and she was the last person to be awarded and to get up and truly everybody like when she started speaking people were like gathering their belongings because they just wanted to get the fuck out of

there and her speech was quite different than uh the the the rustic um classy child Megan who grew up loving farm to table and was just going out into her backyard and picking the herbs and growing the vegetables and making things from scratch no no no no the other child Megan was a last key kid who was often home alone because her mother was absent for a good at least seven years of her childhood and it is a third rail to even venture a guess as to why or where she

may have been you know I'm saying her father was busy working as an Emmy award winning lighting

“director on a hit american sitcom called married with children and I believe he also worked”

on general hospital a daytime soap opera so the story Megan would often tell was that sad little Megan would come home alone and heat up a TV dinner and eat it on her tray table while watching jeopardy so which is it sister okay because it cannot be both this is the Megan who is deeply

ashamed of her origins deeply ashamed and is always trying to level herself up now I'm going to

spare you this part of it but I did take notes the Australians do pronounce certain words differently than Americans do among among those words they say her herbs they say herbs they say herbs and we say herbs herbs we say oregano and they say oregano we say expletive and po says expletive okay codeword codeword she said she was so excited she was worried

“she was going to utter an expletive and I think she was probably so fucking fed up with the bull”

shit circus that comes with megan fucking markle now megan is very angelic angelina ojolee adjacent here and that's not a good thing that's not a good thing anymore she begins talking about how her children help her with cooking and what she allows them she's a fun mom she really fun mom what she allows them for dessert here we go I could jump in a lot especially with the garden I think it's really it's such a nice luxury to be able to have so much space and things to cook

and if they say mom I can I have dessert you say if you can pick it you can have it um you got a big chocolate now you can't have it all right I think you go pick a nice

remember we did it was a fairly early nerve where we got a look at the alleged want ad that

“she put out for like a new nanny and they have like a retina of nannies you know she's always like”

in front of a camera she's flying all over the world like do you really think she's engaging with her children on a day-to-day basis much like Andy Cohen I doubt that she's really on a like

first name basis with her own children I doubt she could tell you where they are at any given time

or what their social security numbers are you know what I mean um now she's going to she also brags she also brags that her children what are they now like five and seven maybe maybe she brags that they happily eat Brussels sprouts you know most parents of young kids I mean my god daughter it was like this for I'm going to say the first seven years of her life she ate three

“things I mean it was a struggle to get her to add protein you know and she like came out of the womb”

like a vegetarian like to this day she won't have a piece of meat like her system rejects it

you know so like working with small children to get them fed properly is usually also a very heavy

fucking left but no her kids are out you know pick and shit out of the go you know get out okay now Megan is introducing um is she introducing ingredients to the contestants here let's take a look for is a lot of optionality here the hope is that you'll really hone in on one as your hero item these are all things that for me she'll be nostalgic and I love if there's a connection that you can find when as you're cooking something what is the story behind it it almost feels like an

heirloom right what is something from your family or from a memory something sentimental that we can also taste as we taste your dish what what how do I taste something sentimental to somebody else's family of origin I don't understand it's one thing to be like if your if your heritage is Italian making Italian dish but she's so overly verbose and ornamental with this bullshit and

again it's all about her first of all she I love the word optionality what like she thinks

that people in sea sweet talk like this she thinks founders and entrepreneurs talk like this optionality you know she's dying for a chair on shark tank you know it don't do it shark tank don't fucking do it uh optionality just say there's a lot of options here I'm presenting you

“with a lot of options which you have to have on top chef you have to have some options to create”

various permutations right and then she says these all mean a lot to me what what why why do we care what these things mean to you this isn't about you this is about a competition that has been windowed down to four finalists and it's a life changing competition this showed changes lives it it elevates these people all of these people by the way all these guys they have day drops they want to be professional chefs it's about them not you you bitch god i can't fucking stand this woman

okay now they are going to be presented with the challenge you can't use the word royal but apparently you can use the word duchess square that circle here we go okay guys select one ingredient from what's on offer and make it the feature of a dish fit for a duchess look at her face there she just turns and stairs at them with that placid vaguely smug expression you know you would think that Megan that great feminist might have been insistent on participating at a stage in the

challenge when there was at least one woman remaining among the finalists um you would also think that she could engage in some small talk about sheffing while using vocabulary colloquialism's you know trade lingo specific to chefs not least because she dated a chef for two years she dated the Canadian chef cori vatielo for two years 2014 to 2016 while filming suits and don't you know that a tombower reported in his book revenge that Megan was still living with

cori when she met Harry what do you know newsweek the headline right here Megan Markle is still

even though they both had means she was on a basic cable show and making a nice salary and he was

a well-known chef who probably had a bunch of other income streams but I guess they couldn't afford for one of them to move out before she met Harry and I quote from this piece published July 25, 2022 in newsweek Megan and vatielo had met according to bower in 2014 in Toronto he was a well-renowned restaurant tour well known among Canada's high society cohort on July 10, 2014 after eating at his restaurant with the suits cast Megan wrote a gushing review in her since disabled blog the

tag bower wrote that Megan wrote cori was dubbed quote my very favorite chef shortly after that

“vatielo ended a relationship and started to date Megan and she was then introduced to many of the key”

players in the Canadian world of celebrity through vatielo including Jessica Mulroney who would become one of the future royals closest friends since been discarded allegedly reportedly Mulroney's husband Ben was the son of Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney which meant that Megan was also introduced to Canada's diagnostic political families including the trudos see how we were working our way up that greasy pole sliding down only to catch ourself and go back up again.

I watched Sunset Boulevard again over the weekend TCM turn o' classic movies was rerunning it and every time I see it I can't I can't look away and I've got a little normal design left in me

“anyway words and phrases we never hear out of Megan's mouth it's an entire episode”

things that has just a reader of restaurant reviews I am familiar with flavor profile mouth feel de glaze plating presentation no no not a one judges ask Megan here what she would cook here we go

Megan it is so amazing to have you here everyone is so excited we are so excited we brought

this beautiful seasonal rojuz it doesn't feel limited they don't really have a lot of options so many options which is you know sometimes can be overwhelming okay it's not just honed in but either way I can't wait to see what they do and it all be so different yeah Megan what would you cook I got it that's a great question you know I would probably go with something that feels meaningful to me yeah we grow a lot of carrots in our garden my kids love growing them I would take

the tops of them probably do a great pesto with it look at those carrot tops yeah and flavor and there's great it would be really nice with and I stitched it or serving things so many things these women are so bored and unimpressed and it's again it's like oh gosh I don't know like she didn't even think about it she didn't even think beforehand okay these are the ingredients I am going to present to these finalists you know we're at the top of their game I'm gonna I want to give

them a challenge what would what would I do with them she didn't even think about that and this is what I mean about her being Angelina Jolie adjacent well you know my kids love carrots so I'd probably

“make a pesto with carrots I mean earth shattering I'll never forget Angelina Jolie did like a”

round table with a Hollywood reporter it was for some bomb she directed like she's directed several movies I think it was her adaptation of unbroken um which was a a nonfiction book it was

incredible it was written by the same woman who wrote seabiscuit and and Megan just ruined it she

ruined it but anyway it was like a pre Oscar round table and it was Angelina was just there for headlines to generate clicks and likes and it was otherwise serious directors and I believe it might have been Peter Jackson it was somebody of his ilk who asked her he said to her do you think Angelina Jolie that you are a good director and she froze she was like a deer in the headlights and she said we can know I mean my kids and then she went into this whole spiel about how

her kids have changed her and what her kids think about things and how her kids reacted how that informs which she does and this director just very wisely let her Peter herself out and then said aha um but do you think you're a good director um now the other thing uh one of the contestants

to create you know like a garnish of to this effect and um that's another word you never hear

Megan use garnish and um Megan reacts as though she's never seen molds before I mean it would track I mean it would track I mean I do think she probably has had I don't know if you're of a certain vintage you'll remember this name uh this is a deep cut from Pamela Debars uh nonfiction book her memoir I'm with the band and it was like the first time a rock and roll groupy really just holds the truth and um among her cohort was a groupy named um

her name was Cynthia the plaster castor and she would um mold she would she would she would put like

the members of like her favorite male rock stars they would come over and she would put them in

plaster molds and she would make molds of their members of their penises and I do think Megan

“has made um molds of the balls that she has cut off of H I do I think that they are they've”

probably been bronze and they're next to the children's um baby shoes just to guess just to guess now watch Megan's head's worth because um a contestant will begin talking has been asked a question and is going to answer and Megan does this like 70s shampoo like it's like a head's worth like oh I'm over here now looking at you locked in to you here we go something why my maternal oh she made it for me a lot during the years and my zoo that I'm going to bring a bit of home to

to the table that's exactly a type of story I'm talking about we can feel a connection I get to know you through the path what I get to know you through your food listen we all know Megan is reportedly allegedly a bitch on wheels and I'm going to remark upon this because I know this is what she's thinking that chef that guy we saw right there you can tell this is a kind production in otherwise kind production of master chef they shoot him beautifully he has a very visible birth mark on um his right

cheek it looks like a strawberry mark um and those are almost impossible to get rid of um it's just an accident of birth and I think that that's the kind of thing Megan would make fun of I do and I think when she's going oh I love it that's just I think that's all she can think about is that this guy has a birth mark I do I think she's that shallow and calo I do at one point she remarks of one of the finalists he's she says and I quote he has great knife skills if you've made it to the top

“for master chef you should have fucking great knife skills that would be like saying to me while”

mooring like you know how to spell because I'm a writer it's part of the tools of the trade it's like a basic requirement now there is a contestant who is taking these just otherwise there's one

ingredient I'd never heard of before I wish they had said what it was instead of leaving it to the

audience to like look it up because I think it this is when programming can be educational it's they're gonna say it I don't even know if I can pronounce it right they'll say it but this guy says he's going to make um a dish with it and she and it's it's a very inventive idea it's a risk so you would think she would be lit up by this like oh my god this is an original mind at work like he's willing to take a risk instead she seems pissed she seems like she can't hide it here we go so tell us what

you're looking fine making a slurre cost rate um wow i'm doing it dessert okay um it's just amazing with all the offerings that you chose to go in on dessert and a saleria face dessert she looks in

“rate she caught herself I think it's brilliant no she's she's she's she's completely she finds this”

and obscenity this is not what she planned for she doesn't want to taste it she says to him it's those salariack it's salariack it kind of it's it's it's like almost um it's not not synonymous uh it's sound similar it's like a homonym to celiac salariack right she says to him I'm just a mate like you can tell this is the way she talks to her husband and children I'm just amazed with like all

way she was talking that's not somebody who's amused who's who's intrigued that's somebody who's

fucking pissed like what is she care it's his competition to win her lose okay this can

“to I think I think it registered with this contestant because he's gonna tell Megan what we all”

wish to tell Megan fuck off okay lady kindly fuck all the way off here we go it's a little bit of a rest yes because you could go much safer but I'm excited to try it all Petra Megan says she's very excited so Megan good yeah yeah let's begin with Paul thank you he says he says I stepped on it a little bit I apologize he says uh so she says it's a risk po access translator this is how desperate she is to get some kind of extemporaneous dialogue moving this competition along

uh she's standing next to Megan Megan says that's a risk post says oh you know what Megan

just said Megan just said that's a risk and then he says like basically what he's saying is

“I'm sick of you two trying to undermine me and fucking dead my confidence here and he says you know”

what I don't have a lot of time look at that clock I'd like to get going that's him saying get the fuck out get the good away get away now team nerf has has bundled together this was really fun five of Megan and this you know there's there's a lot of humanity and banality coming out of this mouth this otherwise highly educated mouth that went to north western and apparently spoke at the UN and is a voice for women everywhere you know you would think

she could articulate the inane observations of one Megan Markle on top chef australia here we go it's just so innovative and I think it's it's easy to make a sense of it's here I can't wait to find this to that it's so creative this is this is the mind of a chef it's not a home this is the mind of a chef I can't wait to see what they're going to cook this is very ambitious with such a short amount of time yeah the last one is my favorite because

that's the premise of the show as contestants are eliminated you get last time

“to be more ambitious because you have to consistently elevate what you are producing”

my other favorite one this is the mind of a chef you don't say this is the kind of person you find yourself saddled with at like a family funeral a holiday workplace party and you're just like at me the fuck out of here like like power shoot me out tell a port me out this is the mother of all of Megan's insights the mother here we go oh my gosh we had so much fun on my show but it's very different I mean it's about hosting

and hospitality and taking it easy for a home so this is then totally the end of this is about this thanks for so high you can feel the pressure it's still fantastic and yes you make us really hungry but also I do love that they have so much support from you know everyone else is put on the season with them yeah and you can feel their excitement so from that standpoint it feels very much the same because it's just about cooking for joy and cooking for fun um they're also cooking away

what what you can there they're they're standing there like oh my god oh my god it does boggle the mind how executives at media entities such as Spotify, Le Menada, Netflix, took meetings with this woman and probably asked her very pointed questions about her concepts about the the premises of any given project like like I say to you guys all the time if if if if somebody who wanted to invest in the nerve said I need you to describe your show

in five words or less real talk about fake people that's it Megan she can't nail a thought down she can't she can't now we get to the 30 minute time call on the show and po has to say

to Megan because Megan's clearly never even watched the show before like they're realizing this

like they have to explain everything and this is exactly what the new idea piece was talking about

was a heavy fucking lift because she was supposed to be the central happening of the show her appearance

“is like the big moment of the season and and it didn't go that way like we had to like help her”

along so post as listen we yell out 30 minutes 30 minutes so every chef at the same exact time each chef knows exactly at the same time it's like when you're taking a test like an LSAT or something or regions exam and the proctor says everybody 30 minutes then pencils down they don't go desk to desk to desk to desk hey it would take too long and be it gives one person a time

advantage that the person in the back doesn't get just Megan want to play by these rules no she's

making a fucking mark all she's going to do it her way here we go all right it's time for a thinning at

“time cold one you do it can I I think you should can I tell them personally oh yeah let's make it”

personal I don't like to yell here we go good evening just 30 minute time oh I just want to thank you she's flirting with that I gotta keep my pace up passport this is your 30 minute time oh thank you look I really don't just keep this is like an ASMR time call it's got a nice for a change oh you got 30 minute left personally personally I'm letting you know personally guess you can tell that I moved my person over to you to open my mouth

hello just letting you know it's in 30 minutes okay thank you very well thank you you're very

“welcome look at that I swear to God like they're trolling her they're all like yeah that was a very”

intimate time call it was very intimate time call she's like aren't you impressed I'm coming over to tell you myself can't you are you going to die Megan Markle at one point they say make it sparkle for Megan Markle they are trolling her they are trolling her and by the way at the very beginning of the show they took her into their pantry and they said you know she's owned out whenever you're not talking to her about her or asking her a question about herself so she can talk some more about

herself she you literally see like the eyes they just go they go vacant they go they go black and but at one point post says look what we added we added flower sprinkles do you think a single contestant shows flowers sprinkles in that pantry no no it's a troll it's a troll now they're

going to sample the first chefs work in progress and watch Megan self appointed judge here reportedly

allegedly invited herself on has taken on the mantle of judging you can see that she she's she's patrified she doesn't know what to say or what to think like she has no confidence in her own opinion here we go she looks very confused look petro you're a brilliant cook but you definitely need to try everything together with this to that yeah yeah even more so than usual yeah what she said what she said she took forever to get the spoon up up to her mouth like that was her

advancing her disgust like she didn't want to try it she was already disgusted when he said he was going to do it in fact she was outraged just my opinion now the other thing we're going to see here is Megan reveling in how nervous these finalists are in front of her and instead of like saying something to just sort of level everything off joke about it you know say something self deprecating just make them feel more comfortable you can tell she's just elated elated watch this contestant

named Casper as he presents his dish and how nervous he gets he repeats himself and and her expression here we go Casper tell us what congrading he chose and what you made today I chose the Jerusalem artichoke and I've made a barbecue octopus with Jerusalem with Jerusalem artichoke puree

nervey the ticket to the semi-finals is on the one and very high caliber uh guest judge so

“yeah and so sweet that's so sweet that's so sweet that's so so she should have been like don't be nervous”

don't be nervous did you see my show it got canceled it got did you see the variety expose in which Ted Sarando so I mean he denied it but like it was reported nonetheless that he wouldn't get on the phone with me without his own war on the other line don't be nervous Megan tells another contestant named Vinnie how much her husband

H she she acts like she gave him that nickname and it's hers alone and we saw in the text messages

that the daily mail published from a journalist who how he knew was a journalist before he ever met Megan a journalist by the way who had a dinner party he placed a white pill on her tongue and was like now I know I can trust you so he's all class he he would sign his text messages to her he was a hey it's H here so she she she should drop this pretense she really should here we go I love this dish I mentioned my husband is real me potatoes kind of guy this feels like the most

elegant elevated version of that H would love this dish oh good oh good as long as H would love it

“that's what they're all there for as long as your tool of a husband would love it”

now Aaron has worked his heritage into his dish as requested by madam but Aaron makes the rookie mistake of thinking that this is somehow about him it's not because it's now time for her loser husband to call in and it's it's it's played as what a surprise what a surprise how he just happened to call in listen I started working in television production at a very tender age okay I was a teenager and when I tell you that this stuff is planned down to the nanosecond

Harry's in this time zone Megan is in this time zone Harry is doing this event Megan is taping this thing here Harry's going to call in Harry has 90 seconds tops Harry will be engaging in the following discourse we are not to go off topic and it was probably also written into her contract that if she could get an appearance a cameo appearance by her husband the prince there would be a pay bump but let's watch the kind of fools are taking us all four out here here we go

my husband's here yeah it's a tape it's a competition with food that's hot it needs to be

tasted at a certain temperature oh my god these two are the whole guys it's amazing they're so

talented we wish you were here he's in canber right now yeah with the veterans I'm the loser the background with the batteries you can see the joint put that all out here beautiful why that you guys have I wish you could try this and these dishes are fantastic yes there's nothing like seeing a thumbnail sized it's really related to this you know the answer symbol and it's based on we can stop it here this adds nothing nothing to the show nothing

and if anything it takes the focus away from these contestants who are in pursuit of a life changing win okay they announce the winner it doesn't matter who won this competition you know why because when Megan is asked what this day is meant to her guess what it's meant to her nothing having to do with what any of these contestants have have educated her about or a way in which they've enriched her pallet or what she's going to take home with her no no no

this is what Megan is taking away from the day here we go this is unbelievable it means the

“absolute well we get straight into that center final I'm going to remember this day for Anna”

oh my gosh I loved it I can't wait to go back for the hotel until each all about what are you

all of this reminded me of you know with Megan the reason I truly do believe again this is

“just my opinion that she is a psychopath is that she seems impervious to shame and when you feel”

ashamed or embarrassed I just mean like when one does typically it reverberates so deeply in you and it's such an uncomfortable feeling that usually you learn something from said embarrassment or feeling shame but she doesn't seem to possess the ability to feel shame or humility or to be humbled it all reminded me back when Ellen DeGeneres had her talk show and her whole brand was like be kind you know it tracks with Megan Markle be kind and of course then we all later learned

that she was a sadist behind the scenes and everybody was miserable and you know people cried

“and all of that allegedly reportedly she had the fairly newly minted Duchess on her talk show”

and then she convinced her to go outside I don't think it took a lot of convincing and it was like hey this is going to be a fun comedy bit I'm in your ear and you're going to do what I tell you to do and Megan so desperate to be liked and accepted by the Hollywood community either didn't

know or didn't care that Ellen basically had her engaged in a humiliation ritual and she apparently

Megan I mean didn't know or care how this would reflect upon her husband or a British monarchy that has rained for thousands of years here we go now Megan if you can hear me touch your elbow all right if you touch your nose if you can hear me do a squat if you can hear me okay all right what do we have here what do we have here what can that what you got what you got well we do a variety of vinegar-based hot sauces let mommy taste some my boo loves hot sauce

my boo loves hot sauce so let's get this fight here let's get this fight here let's get that hottest let's get the green just shove the whole thing in your mouth mommy needs to milk the milk out of my purse mommy needs to milk oh give me my milk okay now drink it that's Megan Markle with a baby bottle in her mouth did Megan make po cry did Megan make po cry is like there is precedent for her being a bitch on camera okay one final remembrance Megan with the

Secuous Emily Chang of Bloomberg laughing as Megan insults Emily to her face as they died in Megan's adopted hometown of Montesito this is the anchor into your own knowing interview that was published online almost one year ago it it actually debuted I believe August 26th 2025 Megan asked by Emily hey when do you feel the least Duchess of Sussex here we go when do you feel the least Duchess of Sussex oh my God don't you're eating a tomato burger

would you ever think asking this question like what is this shit you asking me these questions for where do I feel what this is ridiculous ha ha that's the real Megan that is the real Megan coming up are a super model expose of a cultural and criminal offender who ran rampant

“four decades and trouble maker feedback we are back in a minute if you want to make a”

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a trouble maker and that the nerve sent you we are back now before diving into some incredible

updates alerts and feedback from trouble makers we've said it before it's worth repeating trouble makers are actually helping to write this show like this is a complete back and forth conversation we're having with each other that segment that we did on Gabriel Austin's LinkedIn page it's the sunny Austin segment which has just gone viral has just exploded we went to that LinkedIn page because of trouble maker emails that were like hey have you seen Gabriel Austin's

“resume you should really look at that we stopped filming and immediately went to his LinkedIn”

and started pulling screen grabs and we were laughing ourselves it was like it was so funny and so when I say that you guys are helping to write the show you're helping to write the show

before we begin Lauren Hutton who I've always really liked you know she um I think she got

a lot of pressure when she started out to fix that gap fix I shouldn't say fix fill the gap in her teeth there's something wrong with her teeth she's a gap in her teeth and she kept it and it made her iconic it made her stand out um she was recently she was on CBS Sunday morning over the weekend and you know there are still many people in the culture and I believe Meryl Streep remains among them who claim to have zero idea not a single shred of an iota

of a hint of a whisper the Harvey Weinstein was doing what he was doing just like Oprah no fucking idea I mean she is a self made billionaire you know but like her great pals Harvey and Sean Combs and Michael Jackson who walked her around what I can only describe is a pedophiles layer uh and she was like wow you're so fucking great without the swearing of course we would not want to swear Oprah wouldn't swear that would be beneath her anyway Lauren Hutton was on CBS Sunday

morning and she talked about her first and last encounter with one Harvey Weinstein she was in her

sixties at the time by the way so this just goes to show you sexual predators it's never really

about the sex it's about power control humiliation domination here's Lauren I did you encounter Harvey oh I was suddenly asked to do a movie with them which was ridiculous because I was about 62 and I thought well gee he must have looked at her magazine seeing a good picture of me yeah and said I missed her but and I but I wasn't smart enough to realize that then and I went to some office that he had here in New York and uh I asked for a script they said they didn't have a

script uh we wanted to talk to me about this movie did you actually see it or what happened was suddenly this door over here cracked open and there was a fat man in a dirty old white bathroom standing in it that was part open and I and I guess he looked at me and I was looking at him with horror I'm no doubt whatever it was there's only about that wide-up look

“and then the door shut real quick and I think the interview was over yeah interview was over”

number one I love her for telling that story number two I love her for not shooting her face up

nerve before this is a Harvey story that dates back to the 90s early to mid I want to say

maybe mid to late a friend of a friend who I knew socially so I I heard this like more than once from this person and from other people um was a young girl at the time not from New York originally

“and was working at Miramax um had like a low-level job as like I think one of Harvey's”

assistance and um Miramax had set up a screening it a suburban test screening for one of their films Harvey was an attendance Bob was an attendance Bob Weinstein his brother

there was some trouble with the projectionist like they could get the film running but like the

audio wasn't working or something like that and so the screening was held back it was like 10 minutes late 20 minutes late and he Harvey went up to this young woman who was in her early to mid 20s and um in demanding to know what had gotten wrong and when it was getting fixed

“smacked her in the face in front of everybody so you know when people say they had no idea”

like people who were like deep in the industry they're lying just my opinion just my opinion

troublemaker feedback and art psycho arsonist Ryan Maureen troublemakers finding ourselves in the

bar stool sports comments on x laugh out loud this is a mo bro this post was from yesterday troublemaker j-rights we are moving the culture so we're not even showing this real because like as far as I'm concerned Ryan Reynolds is cultural flotsome and jetsome um so we're not going to show the the real itself but he made an appearance in drag as Deadpool at like a marvel event or something you know he's trying to work his way back in the culture um and he took photos with fans this is

one of the comments we're showing it full screen he's a psycho arsonist who burned down his school in Canada and his wife is insufferable you're not wanted Ryan keep trying oh and by the way like if you even just look at any any amount of that footage that's getting pumped out through various like official fan accounts or like entertainment outlets that are dying such as the accesses you know whatever um just read the comments which differ greatly from the copy these dops are writing

oh Ryan Reynolds showed up at this command blah blah blah blah and the comments are like leave we're done with you sir we've had it we don't like you we're not putting money in your pocket Hi Marine don't use my name no problem I've written several times on a couple of issues and the issue I'd like to speak with you about today is Shaquille O'Neill now this breaks my heart but we have to tell the truth last week we welcome Shaquille O'Neill

“to the uh trouble maker community and now I think we may have to bid him a due uh this trouble maker”

whose name will remain anonymous uh who signed yourself maniac which I love that's that's I love that even more sent along like a headshot in a resume like a deeply detailed resume so I have reason to believe also just based on like the veracity and good faith of trouble makers and our ongoing conversation I believe this is true I don't know why she would make this up I'm going to summarize this for you before we get to the Shaquille O'Neill portion um this trouble maker was

a flight attendant for a certain charter airline that had multiple contracts with professional sports teams we're talking NBA we're talking major league baseball etc um so she was working one flight um and she says one of these players got a hate reading this open up his huge laptop again

women she's white this player's black and would then ask me would you ever consider marrying a black man I would just walk away um I should say from working at other hospitality venues the

harassment never ends it must be an Irish girl thing I don't know I just wanted you to know that

Shaquille O'Neill is a lying piece of crap and he treats women like garbage from another trouble maker the truth Sha'll set you free oh she likes so sorry that happened to you trouble maker sure you've seen a lot in your day um hi I'm only in trouble maker Stephanie from Ford City Pennsylvania here I was just watching one of uh the nerves where you were talking in which rather you were talking about ladies see I agree with you she is absolutely lovely um this trouble

“maker as well you were mentioning something that had been going on with you and the show I believe”

you could have been subject to some kind of harassment because of your show and you mentioned that

you found out who your friends really are this is a hard lesson for us all to learn but what I want to say is I admire your courage and your truth whatever happened has not stopped you from speaking the truth tries they may to shut trouble makers up it's just not gonna work yes Stephanie yes thank you um oh and one last email regarding uh everybody in Hollywood dropping the surname pit including HBO Max is the pit just gonna be known as the from now on um this trouble maker writes uh

and we I saw a lot of this which is why I'm reading this one I very much agree with you about Angelina and Brad but I did want to make a correction that in California if you as these children are one after the other um dropping the surname pit they are required by law to publish name changes in the newspaper I do know that that goes to my very point if these children whether they are being

“heavily encouraged by their mother or not feel that the best thing for them is to drop their father's”

surname and as I've said on the nerve plenty of us came from very difficult homes with difficult parents to drop your surname and legally change it out of spite or whatever I'm not saying they're doing it out of spite I'm just saying you know it's drastic and um that in California that you legally have to do that by publishing that request in a newspaper goes to my point exactly it's only drawing more attention to this it's going to get picked up by TMZ by page six by the nerve

do you know what I'm saying and that only draws more attention to your children who as far as I can tell have some of some of whom seem to be leading private lives so why you would not just encourage said children if that is truly their decision do it privately just go by that colloquially you don't need to change it change it legally it's it's going to be worse for you because it's just going to draw more attention and keep it's going to become everybody's fucking business and you don't want that

and by the way not for nothing in 10 years I don't think this is the conversation just my opinion you may change your mind and you want you may want to reconcile with your father hey stranger shifts happen look at Prince Harry he's over bending the knee with King Charles Meghan Markle saying she's

encouraging that she's always wanted it you know what I mean you know what I mean just do it quietly

that does it that does it for our Tuesday edition of the nerve please come back and see us tomorrow for juice beyond juice at the nerve at night please also keep your feedback coming email me at morning at devilmakermedia.com or DM me on instagram at morning calahan writer or at the nerve show

“I'm sorry about my throat remember subscribe to the nerve sub stack hour weekly email arrives”

in your inbox every Friday as long as you sign up for it at over to the nerve show.com you will see the prompt there just put your email address in that's it shows up every Friday five dollars extra gets you bonus original content tidies column which he dictates to me because as discussed no opposable thumbs he's not really typing you know I'm saying what I don't do for that guy

fellow troublemaker at shop the nerve dot com we will see you back here tomorrow at the nerve real never gets what we're about to say next