Stephen Colbert's Spotlight Thirst, Matthew Rhys' Speech Omission, & Macaulay Culkin's Demeanor

I am your host, Maureen Callan. We had so much fun on our Emmys live stream. We were live with you guys Monday evening, it's been up on YouTube all day yesterday.

“It's still there if you want to catch some of that mayhem along with Teddy's arrival”

on the red carpet and our Emmys clips with special camiose, nerve-related camiose. But tonight, tonight is the recap, it's the gossip sash, it's the bitch sash, it's the everything that we didn't get, that we weren't able to review and dive into and critique and there is so much, you guys so much that, hey, the mainstream industrial celebrity complex is not going to get to and by the way, on our live stream Billy Bush alerted me, I had it down in my calendar

that access Hollywood's death date, the day they were going off the air, they're done, their done was October and he said no, no, no, no, it was like on Friday, that thing didn't

“go out with a bang, it went out with a whimper, two major outlets were covering the Emmys”

red carpet on Monday night, E and the nerve, that's it and we all know where the place to be is over at the nerve, okay, we're going to begin with some of the more notable moments from the awards ceremony, again, ones that were screaming, glaring, noticed me, remark upon me, something's happening here and nobody, it's cricket, it's cricket, we have some more insufferable Hollywood, I guess they would consider themselves icons, you know, I don't know,

I can't wait to get into all of it with you and then we've got amazing trouble maker feedback

and then we're going to take a real look at the celebrities on the red carpet in video footage,

“we're going to have their looks from all different angles, there's a lot, a lot to get into and so”

we ask, are you ready? Are you ready? Let's go! Let's be honest, most of us would rather do almost anything than shop for life insurance and it's so easy to just put it off for another day, stop telling yourself that take care of it today with select quote in 15 minutes, you could have coverage that fits your life and your budget, what's so great about select quote is that their licensed insurance agents work for you, not one insurance company, they compare options across multiple

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Mariska Hargate, who is the star of SVU Law and Order, it's going into like it's 26th season, she is universally beloved, I will say there is a problem because Mariska is a very public friend of Amy Griffin, author of the tell the ostensible memoir in which we hear at the nerve believe and Amy is currently being sued by a Jane Doe that Amy fabricated and/or stole again just our

opinion based on our deep critical reading of the tell that Amy is a liar and that she lied about

being violently serially raped as a child and Mariska Hargate is out front, you know, her joyful heart foundation, she is very, very active in the survivors of sexual abuse and violence space. So that is a problem, but we will put this over here because she, hey, nobody's perfect, right?

Mariska, how could you let the producers of the Emmys and the writers of the Emmys and when we

“get to who's who swan, who's strutted rather up on stage, swan strutt, I think, you know,”

both could apply, you know what I'm saying? We get to who swaned and strutted up on stage and boasted and bragged that they themselves were responsible for the writers of the Emmys. I think that's something one would would rather not admit. This is one, I've only got my mind

went to one place after I saw this. Now, I was a little late getting to the actual broadcast because

we were here doing the live stream, but when I saw this, when it was in my feed, I could not believe it. We're only going to look at a little bit of it if you can believe that this thing went on for like two hours, two minutes, excuse me, two minutes and 14 seconds, Mariska, Hargitay, opening the Emmys to like a bastardized version of Joan Jets, iconic, like iconic, legendary, banger, I love rock

and roll, oh my god, brace yourselves, here we go.

It's like a level five catastrophe. I mean, in terms of natural disasters occurring in Hollywood,

“it's up there, it's up there. Also, I don't, I think it was ill-advised for many reasons,”

it's all on display right there, but notably Mariska can't dance. Not everybody can, okay, but she really, really can't, and she shares that in common with her great pal Taylor Swift, who also can't dance. Taylor's choreographers often have her like stalking from like downstage to upstage, to stage left stage right now, we're over here and we're like a supermodel, we're posing hard, it's blue steel all the way baby. So anyway, my mind went immediately to this, this, this is largely

been scrubbed from the internet, we did find it, it's a little bit low res, but it's totally worth sticking with Roblo opening the Oscars, this almost ruined his career for good 1989, here we go. Oh my god, so that was Roblo singing with the character Snow White, bastardized version of Icantina Turner's proud Mary. Oh my god, have some decency, have some respect, that, that, that got Roblo sent a Hollywood jail for quite some time. Again, I don't know,

I just abolish them, you know, by the way, you know, who was actively auditioning for a hosting gig at the Emmys last night, when I saw him do his bit, as he was presenting, John Mulaney, very funny bit. Also, we do suspect that John Mulaney is a secret trouble maker, because we showed on a fairly recent nerve, he was playing a sold-out show at a stadium in Chicago, and he had an enormous sign up that referenced Stedman Graham and all kinds of like Chicago freaks. And, you know,

“one of you trouble makers sent it to me and said, we think John might be one of us, I think so too,”

I do, I do. Now, Matthew Reese, one, two Emmys on Monday, I think he technically won three, but he, he set a record as the only actor who ever won two Emmys for acting, one was in a limited

or comedy, I don't know. He won for Widow's Bay, my beloved Widow's Bay. Now, I was pulling for this guy,

“pulling for this guy, and I think it's gone to his head. I think all of this acclaim and”

adulation, and, you know, he was making a very serious run for this award. Widow's Bay started streaming pretty late in the game for nominations and awards, and he was making up for a lot of lost time, and he and Carrie Russell, his longtime partner, they have a child together. Carrie has two from a previous marriage. They were really out there, commodifying their couplehood. It's often the kiss of death in Hollywood, often the kiss of death. She was also nominated for the

diplomat, did not win. Matthew did not mention Carrie at all, and not only did he not mention Carrie, but each time his name was called, he didn't even look at her or kiss her or smile and nod,

acknowledge her in any way. The he had went the direct other way. The first, the first win,

he leapt up, and, you know, who he embraced, who was waiting for him with open arms, Claire Daines,

“Claire Daines, who, you know, listen, life is complicated, and I'm no more or less when it comes to”

this stuff. But when Claire Daines did an interview with Howard Stern, I want to say about five to seven years ago, and Howard Stern asked Claire Daines about Billy Crudup, leaving his then eight months pregnant long-term girlfriend Mary Louise Parker for Claire. She expressed zero regret or remorse for the way in which that down. She said, "Hey, I was young. I needed to follow my heart. I needed to explore and see where this would take me." These are the, this is largely, you know,

who we're dealing with here. Okay, so if I'm Carrie Russell, and Matthew Reese has just completely blanked me so he can jump up and excitedly embrace his co-star, Claire Daines, and then run up and give

“a speech. I'm fucking pissed. Okay, I'm pissed. We're going to listen and look at his speech, listen to him,”

and listen to who he does choose to think. Here we go, Matthew Reese winning for the beast in me.

Certainly led, ferociously fiercely, fervently by the incredible Claire Daines. Thank you for letting

me join the mystery machine and bringing out the beast. You are an intimidating scene partner, but I'm very grateful for all this. Notice also the breathlessness, the stuttering. These are actors. These are actors. These were rehearsed, practiced remarks, note the triple alliteration, ferocious fearless, something else. Claire Daines, who then like blows him three kisses and mouths love you, love you. It reminds me it's you know what it's giving, it's giving Ben Affleck.

When he won the best director Oscar for Argo, really solid movie. I enjoy it immensely, but you know who got him over that finish line, Jennifer fucking Garner, to whom he was still married. It was Jennifer Garner who was helping to scrub up Ben's image, clean, sober, family man, reliable. You can bank on him, Hollywood, invest in him. Give him an Oscar for directing so that he can go on to make more movies for you. And Ben gets up there and he starts giving this speech.

And he looks at Jennifer Garner and he says, marriage is work. It's a lot of work. And you could see in that moment her face crumbled. She went from beaming with pride and just love. You could tell she was like over the moon for this guy and he says that and she began to really, really cry. She fought and pulled it together. You know, and it was brutal. It was brutal. So, you know, we've got precedent. Okay. We've got precedent. Next Matthew Reese. You know, again,

he was kind of a long shot for this. And he won. He won outstanding lead actor in a comedy series for Widow's Bay. And again, Claire figures prominently here too. You're not going to see her in this clip. Because the official cuts that NBC did for YouTube, a lot of the good messy, again, guys. You want eyeballs. Leave the messy shit in. Leave it in. Again, leave our nerve-lain, wide open, wide open. Let's listen to Matthew go on and on and on about all the people in his life

They got together on the set of the Americans where allegedly reportedly she was still married.

“And the husband was blindsided by these two getting together. Again, life is complicated.”

Actors fall in love on set all the time. But you know, in for a penny, in for a pound, Matthew, I would think, here we go. At least to my dear old friend. He's not that old. He's very dear. Duncan, millship, whose hard work and tenacity I see and appreciate every day. But far more I appreciate our life-long friendship. Barry Burin, you know what you did or all of you at CAA. Obviously, my parents, they just kicked me onto a stage from a very early age. My sister, who's here tonight,

she was just turns out, she was the brains of the outfits all along. Thank you for all the stage words and patients, patient listening. Finally, to the great and good people of Wales,

who were as much a nurture as anyone else. We are a small but mighty nation. This is incredible.

Just come out here and thank you very much. So Matthew Reese thanked his old friends, he thanked his parents, he thanked his sister, who is there, and he thanked the entire nation of Wales. We are, we are detaching from Tara Furmer. Furma, excuse me. Matthew is entering rarefied air. You know, this regular dude, like from Brooklyn, by way of Wales thing. Uh, uh, no. And that speech went on for so long. It went on for a minute and 30 seconds. He profusely thanked

“widows bay creator Katie Dippold. And she got up and made a crack, I believe, about like”

Matthew's accent. It's just it, my Spidey senses are tingling. My Spidey senses are tingling a little bit. Now, before the show, carry and Matthew were on the red carpet. And again, this is the game. You got to play and it's a fucking brutal game talking to the fuck and morons over at entertainment tonight. You know, they have like the equivalent of like a mental defibrillator on site. So whenever like, you know, it stars are coming over. They got to jolt that host. Jolt, jolty with some

mental energy as much as you can muster to engage in extemporaneous conversation with two nominees. This official ET clip is titled, I swear to God, this is the title. I had to relay it as written Matthew Reese can't get over how hot hot is an all caps wife, not his wife, long time partner. Do your fact checking AT. Carry Russell looks at the 2026 Emmys. Now, for those of you who are listening, I would implore you to either go look at this section of the YouTube episode, the clip we pull,

whatever winds up in your Instagram because you've got to watch the body language here. It is brutal. Carry Russell, who is gorgeous is hanging all over Matthew Reese. She is actively trying to get him to look at her in the eyes. She is trying to, she is putting her face up against his face as much as she can. And he will not fucking look at her. Mark Bowden, this we're getting Mark Bowden on this. I said to Marlene before we began this show. I said,

carve this out, put it on Mark's list. He's coming back fairly soon. And he's going to address this Matthew Reese is going to follow the verbal cues of this brand-ed ET host. But I'm telling you the guy is resentful and he's not into it. He's not. He's over her. Here we go.

“The back. Carry. Oh yeah, is that good? You need to listen. Hi Matthew. I'm just”

finding over the lady here. I can't in line. You know, I will. I'm going to do that because I want to walk behind her. Look at the back of this. Look at it. When she walked down here tonight, did you say, oh, that's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. I pinched myself. I'm her.

Listen, so Catherine LaNasse and Grant show said they're wanting to battle you all for first

couple of the Emily. Listen, they just will do it. Yeah, I think bring back gladiators. Can you take them? Yes. Yes. We'll do it. We'll do it on the travel later. That's where she comes into her own. Great. Let's do it. They give them where they're said. We want Carrie Russell and Matthew Reese. We got it in a show. We got it. You said it like three times. It's painful. It's excruciating. Daily mail Tuesday morning, the headline, Carrie Russell seen shining partner Matthew Reese

in awkward behind the scenes footage after he snubbed her in Emmy's speech twice published

Taren Raider. We're going to look at it right. That's RYD. You are. We're going to look at it right now.

“You have to look at it closely because it's taken from a part okay. So he's going to put”

he puts his hand around her waist and she grabs the hand and she goes to swat it away. But they're being their photo and video is being taken and then they kiss and everything smoochy smooth. It's all good. I am telling you. This is not good. This is not good. And I also in my feed after the after parties came photos of them like dancing and like super happy her her back is to the camera. So you can't really see her face and I guarantee you their publicists were

like you better shine it on. You better shine it on because this is the headline isn't going to be Matthew Reese sets a record at the Emmys. The headline's going to be Matthew Reese and Carrie Russell heading for what the tabloids used to call bulletsville, bulletsville. Hey, you know, where else we saw it? Again, another Ben Affleck deep cut. When Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck

“remember when they were at the Grammys, it was about maybe four months into their marriage,”

their second go round. And JLo sitting there dressed to the nines engaging with everything that's

going on. She knows where the camera is and Ben was like cat a fucking tonic. He was like, get me the fuck out of here and she's caught on camera like elbowing him. Like the cameras are coming around and then Ben goes like, oh, like, you know, precedent, precedent. Okay, now Steven Colbert, who I do fully believe our pal Rob shooters reporting that Steven Colbert is at loose ends at his home in Montclair, New Jersey and cannot believe that the earth still spins on his

axis. Even though the late show or late night with Steven Colbert, whatever it was called has been canceled, we're all doing just fine without you Steven. Now, his show won outstanding variety series. And when I tell you this guy, I got up on stage with like a hundred of, and that's not all of his staff, all of his now unemployed staff, one would bet they're mostly unemployed. He was rolling around that stage like he had all night. He was king of the castle, walking back and forth,

taking his time, excuse me, sir. This is any words ceremony. It's got to clock on it. Lots of people need to take that stage and dispense with their business. We'll get to some of them. Oh, they have no idea what's coming. So Steven Colbert, again, you can tell how much he needed it. He was like a

parched house plant. We finally give it some water. It's just, oh, oh, oh, how we needed it. Okay, now Steven

is going to brag. Okay, I won't spoil this brag for you. Just keep in mind the catastrophic opening number. We just witnessed in which Mariska Hargite destroyed Joan Jets Classic. I love TV screens. Steven, I give it to you, my man. Here we go. I just want to point out that if you like the comedy tonight, my old writers wrote it tonight. Oh, oh, your old writers were responsible for that abortion of an opening number. Okay. Great. Wonder why you got canceled. Wonder why. Here's Steven

Colbert talking about how many people it took to put on his show. I mean, it's like back in the day when you could tell a joke like this. You know, like how many how many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? You know, how many Steven Colbert staffers does it take to animate this fucking square this fucking humorless prick to get on TV night after night and put on what amounts to a 45 minute show in which the bulk of it is spent interviewing people. You're not going to believe

it. Here we go. Thank you so much on behalf of the over 200 people who threw themselves at this show for 11 years to try to do the best show they possibly could for you. The thing about these late shows is that besides being a really good steady job is that they require so many people

“do they? Do they? I mean, 200 people. That's why your show is canceled in large part.”

His show is losing like $60 million a year. Who needs 200 people to put on that mediocrity?

basically said, again, like no matter your politics were apolitical here at the nerve,

“but he would get up there and just be so self-righteous and striding, you know? And such a prick and”

be like, I'm upholding democracy and Christian, what? He's like Atlas, you know, in the one hand, he's holding up Christendom, Christianity and in the other hand, he's holding up democracy. And how much can a dude from Montclair and New Jersey do? Sally Field. I have a story. Okay. Sally Field, one outstanding lead actress in a limited or anthology series or movie for remarkably bright creatures. Now, I watched her give this speech in real time and um,

my job was on the floor. Here we go. This was not supposed to happen. Okay. I got a cup of really, really quick. Wow. I love this project from page one that there's lovely novel by Shelby Ben Pilte,

“whatever her name is. Anyway, she knows what it is.”

Again, the stammering, the this, the, the, the, the, the, the, Sally Field has been a working super famous actress since she was a teenager. Okay. So stop. Oh, this wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to happen. So you had no knowledge of, of selecting the clips that you were submitting to the Academy for consideration and all the ads that like your people took out, your management, your publicists, and all the work you did to try to campaign for that

thing. This wasn't supposed to happen. In what fucking universe lady? Number two, she says, I loved this book from page one, the book upon which the movie was based. I love this book from page one and then she like emangles the author's name and then goes on and says, whatever it is, whoever it is, she knows how her name is pronounced. Fuck you, Sally Field. Fuck you.

What goes into writing a book, you know, that woman created something, spring from her mind alone. It was her mind and her heart and her discipline. Is that's the reason that book exists in the world and that you got a chance to get, you know,

fuck you. Okay. Here's my Sally Field story and it is a banger. It's a fucking banger. I've never

forgotten it. I was told it years ago. I had a very, very close friend who works in the industry. I will keep it extremely vague. He had a job working with Sally in her domicile, in her home. And Sally's son had just written an op-ed or had like publicly come out as gay. Now he's not even famous. Why he felt the need to do it? I have no idea. I mean, good for him. But then Sally, you know, piggybacked on that and I think also wrote op-eds or did like a joint profile with like

“people magazine. It was, remember that scene in Heather's, after Winona Ryder and Christian Slater,”

Kill, one of the homophobic football players, like one of the jocks. And Winona Ryder's feeling guilty about it and Christian Slater, the Daniel Waters script is epic. He's got this line where he says, "Listen, that guy was only good for date rape and AIDS jokes." Killer. And somehow it's like they figure out a way, like at the funeral, the father somehow is under the impression, "Oh, because they post the bodies as like they were in a lover's embrace.

It was they killed two of the football players." Right? And the fathers up there at the funeral just collapsing over the casket, like weeping, weeping and he's like, "I love my dead gay son!"

That was basically Sally Field minus the dead part. She was like, "I love my gay son!"

I love my gay son. And the whole thing was like, "So everybody can be like, "Wow, Sally Field is such a loving, open hearted." And what can't this woman do or be, right? Cut, too. My friend, an out gay male, devastatingly handsome out gay male, working with Sally Field in her domicile, and works up the courage to say to Sally Field that he was so moved by her her public support of her son and that to him knowing what it's like to grow up. I mean,

would be like, acceptable. It just, you wouldn't blink, you know? And so he was basically saying,

“like, that meant a lot to me, you know, your, your public support. And she turned”

to this lovely man and said to him, "You're gay? That's disgusting." That's disgusting. He told me the story and he said he was like frozen in shock. He couldn't believe it.

He had never encountered anything like that before. And this guy has worked with, like, everybody.

And he gathered his things. This was what he told me. I've never forgotten it. Left. Also told me he had never left a job. Ever. Again, seeing a lot of bad behavior. As soon as he got outside, the door was closed behind him, broke down into yours. That's the real Sally Field. That's the real Sally Field. Don't be fooled by her fucking bullshit.

“Jamie Lee Curtis. Why she was tapped to introduce or do the in memoriam segment? I have no idea.”

And like, Hollywood always does. Like, the people they consider the lesser performers get maybe, like, a huge blown up photo. And like their name, like James Vanderbeek was one. They sort of, like, very plumped early, acknowledged him. And his credit was performer. I'm sorry, the guy was an actor. I guess they don't consider him like an actor, an actor of their caliber.

It's certainly not an Emmy. I mean, James Vanderbeek would never have been nominated for an

Emmy. Had he not died tragically of cancer, leaving behind like five or seven children. You know what I mean? These people are fucking assholes. Anyway, Jamie Lee Curtis gets up there.

“And she's blathering on and on and on and every, but there are no tiers for anybody until”

we get to Rob Reiner. And she's fake crying. Okay. This is not a Jennifer Garner real cried and a word ceremony. You know, you can tell somebody's really fighting to cry because like, you don't want to break down in public. Nobody really wants to break down in public. But you see,

it's, it's what makes Claire Dane such a good on-screen cryer because the mouth crumbles. And it

starts to go down. It starts to go down like that. There's none of that going on with Jamie Lee Curtis. And you cannot tell me it's Botox. Okay. You can't. It's fake. Fake. Fakeity. Fake. Here we go. He was generous and kind and the funniest hell and a friend to all. We all miss Rob and Michelle. And all those we lost this year. The reaction shots are killing me. Oh my god.

That's it. Yeah. And she's standing on stage like a plant like a useless tool waiting for like the lights to go down. I mean, it's bad acting. Jamie, it's bad acting. I thought she was an Oscar winner. That was some really bad acting. Okay. The pit. The pit won best drama. And our Scott Gimmel, who is the creator showrunner and executive producer gave a speech that is a doozy. We're going to watch it together and listen together and then

we will discuss. But watch, if you're watching, as the counter cuts to John Hamm in the audience, John Hamm, that psycho sadist who brutalized a fraught pledge to near death and set him on fire and who when asked about it decades later as a super famous professionally handsome actor, called it a bummer of verbatim quote. It is seared into my frontal lobe. He called it a bummer of a thing that happened. Did he deny it? No. Did he take responsibility for it? No. Did he

express regret or remorse for it? No. And no, he's a psycho fucking sadist and watch. As his eyes, he knows the camera is on him. He knows it. As Scott Gimmel is talking about, the speech is like bullshit. Trust me. But when he starts talking about all the special people true, the true heroes of this world, okay, not these people, this fucking bullshit awards ceremony, true heroes like surgeons and paramedics and nurses and doctors. John Hamm's eyes light up. He lights up like a Christmas

put someone in it. Okay. Trust you me. Hey, just my opinion. Anyway, let's listen to this speech

together and we will reconvene and gather. Here we go. We've always tried to be really authentic

and tell stories about the real life heroes and the emergency department who are there for a day out. We just want to shine the light on them. Yes, their stories can be frustrating and heartbreaking, but they also can be so inspirational and healing. And yes, we are entertainers. We make you laugh. We make you cry. Occasionally, we make you look away and disgust. But now

“I'll look around this room. I think something more important than the awards and the ratings,”

I see the whole community that is still trying to do the right thing. It is so hard to tell

what is real and what we can believe anymore. Which makes telling honest stories about real

human struggles so much more important than ever. What you do is it changes people's lives. He's talking to about himself that they're changing people's lives. Excuse me, sir, you create entertainment. And by the way, not for nothing. The pit is being sued by the Michael Crichton estate, which is claiming that the pit is a director of off of something Michael Crichton was working up. He knows who's also distracting. I just have to get this out of my system because nobody's

“addressing this. The actress, they hired for season two, the female doctor who butts heads with”

Noah Wiley. She is a dead-ringer for a young Jamie Gertz. Like a dead-ringer. Like why would you

hire somebody who looks like an iconic 80s actress? Like it's so distracting. Okay, number two, he hears the thing. The reportage is that they were all told to shut the fuck up when it comes to politics. Foreign and domestic. Zip it. Okay. You're creating television. If you're lucky, you'll get an award for it. Just as Ricky's your base once said, "Thank you. Whoever your god is in your agent, get the fuck off the stage." That's it, but this guy's going to continue to go on.

Not only is everyone in that room changing people's lives. Hey, do you want to talk about how Hollywood changes people's lives? Why don't we talk about hate and panetier? Why don't we talk about Jeanette McCurdy? Why don't we talk about Ana Ferris or Natasha Leone or a star that we're going to look at in just a moment who was beyond fucked up on that red carpet and then got on stage to present something and everybody looked the other way and pretended everything was fine.

Hey, Hollywood does change people's lives. This is the town that brought us Harvey Weinstein changed lives. You betcha. Sean Diddy Combs, changed lives. Blow up cars. What can't that guy do? Beat up his girlfriend in the fucking elevator bank in an LA hotel and paid off the cops, Roman Polansky, changing lives. Continue Scott, please. We'd love to hear some more. And I'm just so happy that we get to do that because it's so difficult to know what to believe

anymore. And so when a last bastion of reality is in our shared collective fiction, that makes what you do so much more important. People need to know the truth and we need to continue to tell them that in whatever way we can and whatever form we can because at the end of the day,

“I think sometimes it's only the story telling that allows us to understand and appreciate each other.”

And that's more important than ever. So, except if you don't subscribe to whatever they think, you know, he also makes no sense. Listen, he's slowing his words. I'm sure he's drunk, but this was a very well rehearsed speech. It was written front to back and complete sentences. He memorized it. He practiced it in front of the mirror. He was so impressed with himself, you know? He says the last bastion of our reality is in our fiction.

It's oxymoron. Scott, don't you think? Okay, so he's talking about how everyone in that room is living in reality. When I saw this on the red carpet, my heart fucking broke. My heart broke. McColley Corkin was on the red carpet. I believe I should

but we're going to look right now at the video of McColley. And this guy can bear,

he's with his wife, and Brenda, excuse me, Brenda strong. He can barely keep his eyelids open. He looks like he is holding onto her for balance so that he doesn't pass out. His neck is like liquid. This guy doesn't know what that fuck is going on. Let's take a look at this.

“Okay, look at him. He cannot keep his eyes open. He's like, it's what I believe the brits would”

call on the nod. It looks like opiates. It's where the head begins to nod. You begin to pass out. It's like a heroin thing. This is very, very dark, but yet again, just as they did with hate and

panetier, you know, parading her out there, and she was promoting her book back and may everywhere,

podcast, talk shows, the views, the view, excuse me, slurring her words, her eyes, glassy, everybody acting like everything was totally fucking normal. Just as they were doing with Ana Pharis, like maybe a month ago, promoting scary movie, this guy is a walking cry for fucking help. Instead of the producer saying, you know what, McColley, you're not going to go out there.

“We're going to leave it to Dan Levy and Annie Murphy who played Catherine O'Harris,”

grown adult children in Schitts Creek. You stay backstage. Why don't you just get hydrated and take a beat? No, he went out. He went out. He went. So I love Scott's speech. Again, lecturing to all of us about how everyone in that room is saving Western culture and humanity with all their fucking truth telling, and they got a kid up there who was fucking ruined by child start

in my opinion, but make no mistake ruined by it, spend some time with Michael Jackson, always said

nothing happened. But, you know, a casualty of Hollywood is up there, and that fucking asshole from the pit is going to talk about how everyone in that room is so valorous, fuck off my man,

“fuck off, coming up, trouble maker feedback, and then we have a very special guest”

joining us for a red carpet round up. We are back in a minute. Does your bottle of standard laundry detergent smell more like bathroom disinfectant rather than the fresh scent you're hoping for? Stop settling laundry sauces your answer. Laundry sauce is premium, scented laundry pods engineered by the world's top perfumers to elevate clothes into a luxury fragrance experience. They sent me a ton of them. I love them. And I'm someone who loves

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favorite pieces looking feel brand new plus laundry sauce just made their debut at Target. So it's easier than ever to access their product and with a full money back guarantee, truly there is nothing to lose for a limited time only nerve listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use code nerve at laundry-sauce.com that's 20% off your order at laundry-sauce.com with promo code nerve after you purchase are going to ask you, where did you hear about us please support our show,

tell them you're a trouble maker and that the nerve sent you. It's time to make laundry day, one of your most exciting days of the week. We are back. I am joined by the one and only Teddy Van Halen, fresh off the red eye from the Emmys. If you haven't seen his adventures, in La La Land, they're on my Instagram and the live stream from our Emmys red carpet coverage trouble maker feedback from XJ. Wow, the nerve's willful aggressive hypocrisy is not interesting

than someone chronically dissolving into public tears. A.K.A. It is I, this person says A.K.A. who you,

it's not grammatically correct. A.K.A. who you call having a histrionic personality problem, don't play dumb period. Please, period followed up by another email sent within hours of that that says also your wet hamster hair makeup aesthetic is 100% fire emoji. Our working theories of the case. Teddy, Teddy moved this one right to the top of his pile because anyone who comes for me, you know, they gotta go through Teddy. It's either Jack Schlossberg,

Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, Meghan Markle, or we have a new entrant now. We have a new

“cultural repeat offender in the line of Mark Jacobs and I think I think based on the use of”

histrionic personality disorder and attacking my hair and makeup, it's a fashion person or what once was a fashion person, if you know what I'm saying, I think it's Mark Jacobs. Hey, Mark, my marine dearest. So lovely. I watched the live with Billy. It was splendid. Thank you. My only flaw and it's a fatal one is that it ended prematurely, not like in just like that,

which was doomed after its first 10 minutes. Also, who knew that Billy B was so yoga obsessed. I know,

right? As I said, he is an international man of mystery. He asks, "Oh, this is Nick from Serbia. Nick, hello, Nick." He asks, "Please forgive me. Please grammar errors that I had undoubtedly made.

“Not to worry, Nick. We are very forgiving over here. I make mistakes all the time.”

He, PS, please bring us more real Ted Van Hellen, not just AI versions. He's so lovely. I'm melting. Asked and answered. Here he is. Asked and answered. Yes, Ted, I know. They love you so much. Okay. Subjects line. Andy Cohen is a pathetic dick. Cover your ears, Ted. Hello, mother, troublemaker to the point, Mr. Cohen had Leanne Morgan on what watch what happens live, roughly two weeks ago. Now, this email was sent Sunday evening, September 13th. So,

nerve HQ, please make a note. We have to go back and look. If it's up, they may have scrubbed it. Leanne Morgan on watch what happens live, roughly two weeks ago. He treated her horribly, trying to

“accuse her of an authenticity. Wanted her to name the celebrity, she liked the least. And I”

gather, he recorded her. Again, just this troublemaker's supposition. I gather, he recorded her in the green room. She clapped back in a true southern way. Then she got up and walked out another

troublemaker amongst us, first guests who walked out in 18 years were the watch. Hey, is that really the

only the first guests who walked out on Andy Cohen? Has he been on for 18 years? That's the real question. 18 years. That's the real scandal. That's the real scandal. Two trips to the wood shipper and burn the sodas, take care, show more of Marlene and I love Bill from Brooklyn. You got it. This from Shrublemaker Allison. I am guessing you are familiar with the British journalist, slash writer Julie Birchell. I am and I did see this. It wound up in my feed. And some of you

trouble makers DM'd me. Her last column in the spectator was titled Sarah Jessica Parker is no intellectual and she definitely and with great humor eviscerates SJP. She references you, meaning me as quote, "the acid-tunged critic I will take it," who calls SJP the quote "sprightly 90-year-old." I need to address Julie Birchell who I'm a fan. I'm a fan, but Julie, I don't, I don't and we here at the nerve don't call SJP our favorite sprightly 90-year-old

heroin. No, no, no. She's our favorite sprightly 900-year-old heroin. She's 900 years old. It's okay. I understand how that could happen. The OGMB Goats. Okay. This is trouble-maker Kim Charles. She says it's okay. Kim, you said to use your name only this week. I was thinking how much

of Brecky and Bad. That's when we watch the nerve in Oz and Australia. You mentioned your recurring faith, my heart beat a little faster. And then when you said Bill, I giggled like a teenager Ted, you don't tell Bill his head will get a little bit bigger. Bill thinks he has an

“abnormally huge head. I do not and I cannot get him to wear a baseball cap. I think he looks”

great in them, but he thinks his head is abnormally large. It's not Easter egg, not Easter egg. Easter Island head. It's not. Anyway, this trouble-maker Kim Charles says, "Oh, how I love our OGMBRO." Now, then a shock, Bill. Oh, Bill. What's this? You have fully come over to the dark side. Your dropping names. He wasn't dropping names. He was culturally referencing. There is a difference. Like Bieber and Kardashian commenting on leather pants and haircuts. And now,

even doing research on celebrities, watch out Rob Bill from Brooklyn will be getting for your position. Soon, no, no. Everybody's fine where they are in the nerve universe. Kim, you may not have

been watching from the very early days, but when Bill first started coming on, I told a story.

And it's one of my favorite Bill from Brooklyn stories because Bill is like a tough guy who works in some of the toughest neighborhoods in New York City has seen a lot.

“But, and I believe the statute of limitations has run out on this. When Bill was in his very early”

20s, he had an apartment. It was on the top floor of a two family house. It was a great apartment. And he worked odd hours. And when he would get home from work and spy in the neighbor's mailbox, they're newly delivered copies of, say, us weekly, the star magazine. Bill would secretly take them upstairs, read them, be very careful with the paper, stock what have you, and then put them back. His neighbors, none the wiser, allegedly reported these.

One of my favorite Bill from Brooklyn stories ever. He's always been interested in this stuff.

Proof that that all you had a sexual guy's out there with like really manly jobs, you know, and manly interests. Other, you know, there's room for everybody. We take all comeers. Okay, Maureen, I, so I, I mentioned how I'm a little behind on my actual movie going in a movie theater. And among those are the Odyssey, which I am planning to go see in New York City, in I'm a 70 millimeter as intended by Christopher Nolan. And I also want to see the new Spider-Man

in a movie theater because I think those Spider-Man movies are works of art. I really do. This troublemaker says I wet watching the latest Spider-Man with my husband and adult children.

“It was fabulous. And I never go to the movies. That's what we love. Hey, Maureen,”

Sandra Bullock was born and spent her formative years in Germany. Is it a coincidence that she connected with Jesse James, her ex-husband, who it was later revealed was a Nazi or a Nazi sympathizer,

or enthusiast or guy who just really loved Adolf Hitler. Now, Jesse James has always denied it,

but we showed the photo on a very recent nerve. If one or both were Nazi, would they willfully adopt a black baby as a cover? Is Sandra not the sweet girl? We thought the nerve has me questioning everything, signed, nerdy, linda. That's what we love. And by the way, we have a researcher right now, fully, fully, fully doing a deep dive. Sandra Bullock and her team, my belief, just having done this as long as I have, have had the bulk of the Nazi scandal scrub,

scrubby scrub scrubbed from the internet. But I've got a researcher digging as we speak. It is a multi-state investigation, and we will be following up very soon. Final email, I wonder, Maureen, why Harry can fly in and out of America at Will when he is a known drug user, does he have a permanent US visa? Thank you, Leslie. I do not know. I would love someone in the White

in like a week or two to New York City to speak this emotionally and continent psychologically

“stunted moron whose teachers allegedly reportedly had to take all of his tests because he was”

failing out of everything. By the way, if you happen to miss our mini over the weekend with lady C, she does an impression. It took me off guard because I wasn't expecting it. She does an impression of Harry smoking weed for the ages. When you see this elegant woman beaming in from her castle, imitating Harry smoking weed. I died. She also spoke of and she knows where of she speaks.

She spoke observationaly just observationaly about the royal family seeming to deploy tactics

in dealing with Harry that you would find espoused in many a 12-step meeting.

“And, you know, he's not quite right, Harry. We're going to be talking about the latest in Harry”

Megan for a bit. It's not going to take a polyoxygen in the room on Friday because, you know, their children, those two yanked their children out of their new school in the UK after two days. Saying they had security issues. Settle, subtle. Keep your feedback coming. Email me at [email protected]

or DM me on Instagram @marinecollahanwriter or at the nerve show. Remember to subscribe to the

nerve's sub-stack that is our weekly email full of bonus original content. You can find it over at the nerveshow.com and you will see a prompt to subscribe coming up. Teddy and I are going to judge

“any's red carpet. Looks we will see you in a minute. Fall is almost here. Not till I believe September”

21. I will squeeze every last drop out of summer. I will. Anyway, I do love fall and it's the perfect season to start thinking about how you're going to get cozy. So, imagine relaxing at home with the world's number one blanket from Lola. Lankets. Once you have touched and experienced Lola blankets, the difference will become clear immediately crafted with ultra soft luxury faux fur and a signature four-way stretch. This blanket feels like a warm hug and it instantly

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your Christmas shopping done early for a limited time. Nerve listeners get 40% off select Lola blankets with code nerve. Check out just head to LolaBlanckets.com. Use code nerve to get 40% off. You are order and after you purchase, they may ask where you heard about them. Please support our show. Tell them you're a troublemaker and that the nerve sent you and then wrap yourself in luxury with Lola blankets. We are back and I am joined by my very special co-host,

Shetty Van Allen. He took the red eye right from the red carpet from giving a little whiz on Ryan Reynolds' show. Teddy recognizes a repeat offender like that. Okay, we begin. This for me was my best rest of the night. Teddy and I conferred and he agrees. Right, dude? Yeah, you do. Michelle Fyfer in song-laron. We are looking at her here. I thought she looked like a true movie star. The gold belt buckle, that detail. I love it. I love the gold cuffs on each wrist.

The makeup is so dude, the hair is natural. It's kind of offsetting the nature of the gap.

Okay, I've been dying to talk to you guys about this individual actress, this person.

“Who's famous mainly right now. She's on like an HBO show that is kind of buzzy. It's called”

I love L-A. It's fine. Her name is Odessa Azion. If I'm pronouncing it right, she spells it A, apostrophe, capital A apostrophe, lowercase, Z-I-O-N. Here she is in vintage, Jean-Paul Go-T-A. But this is a terrible look, by the way. Go-T-A, hit or miss. Okay, it's a terrible look. It's meant to just show off. Again, as we were discussing with Billy Bush, the other night,

the era of Ozampic, all of those, like, they look like leather stringy straps that are hanging

from. They seem not very practical. If you get caught in the bathroom stall, door, someone steps on it.

“You know, you're looking at a trip to the ER, I think, but the real real, okay, nobody will talk”

about this girl. We're going to talk. Again, it's our real talk about fake people. Odessa is the Rachel Dolazell of Hollywood. Okay. Now, Alaria Baldwin maintains her status as the Rachel Dolazell of the Hamptons. Okay, not to worry, Alaria. Your throne is untouched in that regard, but on the West Coast, it's Odessa, Zion, or however you spell, her made up bullshit name, a Zion, a Zion. Oh, oh, because it sounds like Zion. It sounds like, okay, all right. She's, she's trying to pass as, um,

Latina or black or mixed race. She is. She is. Look at this side by side of her original face, skin complexion, hair, color, and texture, and look at her now after a trip to the tanning salon, then heading over to Sephora for some heavy bronzer. I don't know if the hair is died and permed if it's a wig. I don't know what. This is a white basic bitch from like, and Sino, or the valley. Okay. Stop it. Just stop it. I would die. I would die. I wish our spiritual godmother.

Joan Rivers, imagine her on the red carpet with this trick. Her real name is Odessa Adlon, know her. Her mom is Pamela Adlon, who is best known for the semi-autobiographical effect show

“better things. Pamela's mother is British. So get the fuck out with this. How is this allowed?”

Is it this cultural appropriation? Do we think the executive producer creator and showmaner of the pit finds this more is this morally clear? Is this allowed? Julia Garner in Lou A. I pulled this because Julia Garner, we're talking about it in the era of Ozempic and GLP ones. She looks dangerously underweight. She does. You know, again, Ariana Grande, we've been talking about it with her. This is being normalized, not just in Hollywood. This is what they're pumping into our cultural bloodstream

and trying to tell us is not only normal but aspirational. It is not. And I turn also to Kaya Gerber.

Her after party look. We're going to see her here. She's with her co-star Igby Rigni, who is amazing

in the shards. Okay, the shards is a mess but I can't stop watching it. Look at look at Kaya Gerber, who is in basically a bra and a scalp skirt that is designed to show off her amaciated frame. Again, this is not healthy. It is not. And it's up to us to say like no, we don't think this is this is good. No, don't go on Ozempic. Don't go on GLP ones. We're going to do a larger segment because there have been a lot of developments lately in this space. And the mainstream media

isn't covering them. And if you wonder why it is because GLP ones are major advertisers in mainstream, linear old school media. They're all over the newspapers. They're all over your TV screens. They're fucking everywhere. So it's a 60 minutes really going to go, you know Barry, why? You really want to get some iPods? Go really hard. In on GLP ones there's no way you can.

in the show in Georgia, our money with her husband Hugh Dancy. This look is odd. I don't think it flatters her. I don't think it would flatter most anyone. She too is extremely thin. But that that gown. It makes her look like she. Her stomach is a little disdented. You know, it's 80s. It would fit with the shards. Actually, it would fit with the Evan Rachel Wood character who plays one of the

“just sort of disillude mothers who's, I think the I think the great, the hair, the makeup, the”

costumeing on the shards is amazing. And Evan Rachel Wood's character has Michelle Fifters,

exact hair cut from her role in Scarface. It's to die. Carrie Mulligan in the row. This is a very unusual look for the red carpet. I don't think it's right for the red carpet. Some houses designers don't translate to the red carpet. The row is one of them for a pre-emi-party for like an outdoor tea. Part like this is gorgeous and I love it. But I don't think it's right for the Emmys. I don't. She looks very beautiful though. She looks very happy and comfortable in it. And that's

really the thing. You want to be comfortable in what you're wearing. Okay, Shaylene Woodley and Balenciaga. This may be the most viral of ensembles from Emmie Knight. Her stylist hates her, her management hates her, her team fucking hates her. Look at this mess. This is in one piece. This looks it's straight off the runway. You can tell when it's straight off the runway because you can just compare it to what the model wore. She's not wearing a bra and I'm sorry, but she does not

have a figure that can accommodate that. Her breasts are flat. They are sagging. She's wearing these like heavy burgundy elbow length gloves. Like the glitter pant. Like it's ill-fitting. The styling is off. The hair with the part and pulled back and it's all one. Again, it looks like box die. Billy

Bush and I talked about box die and his harrowing experience using box die and I told him to never

go near it again. Shaylene Woodley, I also talked about how Teddy's dog walker, Teddy wasn't with her in this moment, so thank goodness he retains enough of his innocence. But she's been in the headlines because her ex-iron Rogers said that after they got engaged, she said to him, "Yeah, it's totally happy to do it." But just like pause for one minute because there's another guy I got to go fuck. Her iron Rogers and I was telling Billy that my dog walker I want to say within the past year told

me that she saw Shaylene Woodley making out with her girlfriend at an ATM machine in green

“point Brooklyn. Emmy Rossum, in Julie Delibron. Julie Delibron. Oh, I think I know this. I think”

I know this designer. Emmy Rossum is right now starring in Furious on Hulu which is a runaway hit it has just been renewed for season to she looks phenomenal. I think she looks great. Her's great, makeup's great. Dress is great. She knows she's not going to win. She has dressed appropriately. Again, a little too skinny. These women, they are so under fed. Zendaya in Prada and Mickey Moto. The jewels are Mickey Moto. The gown is Prada or the Mickey Moto is on the gown. Oh my God,

she's secret troublemaker. We're in Purils on her gown. She looks amazing. One of the few

who could pull off this trend that was going on on Emmy Night among the women where they were they were all wearing these gowns with like trains that like pulled at the back or the side. I find it dated. I don't get it. But she looks incredible. She's the greatest actress. No, but I think she gets cast in a lot of stuff because she goes viral for her looks as discussed with Billy on the live stream Nicole Kidman in Chanel. This is white. There are feathers. It is a tealink.

“It's got a slit. Listen, she looks incredible. I think it's a strange length for a prime”

time award ceremony. I understand it's hours earlier on the West Coast, but it still doesn't

Gomez in Louis Vuitton and Tiffany and co. Oh my God, Selena Gomez, we're going to take her to the

“wood shed because she's responsible for Benny Blanco being everywhere right now. He's interviewing”

Gwyneth Palcho on his podcast. He was on the fourth hour of the today show on Tuesday. Like, why am I subjected to this guy everywhere? He needs a shower. He needs a silk wood shower. Here she is. She's dressed like a trophy. She's dressed like an Oscar. She's dressed like an Emmy Whaddle

you get to my favorite of the night. Oh my God. Again, her acting career alludes me as discussed

on the live stream. She has absolutely no intonation in her voice ever whether she's giving an interview or she's acting in a scene. She sounds like she's suffering from treatment resistant to pressure and often in her voice. Her mouth barely moves like she had her jaw wire shut like Kanye West had to before he made college dropout. What the fuck? Sarah Pigeon in Chanel. Here she is. Now Sarah became a supernova for playing Carolyn Pissette Kennedy in Ryan Murphy's love story.

“I think this dress is wrong for her. Again, it is an unforgiving dress. She is in phenomenal shape,”

but look at you can see she's covering her stomach with her arms. You can see the belly button puckering there. These are dresses like no woman could truly pull off. Also, I just think the color is too much of a bridesmaid dress. Color I would have put her in a vintage Calvin Klein slip dress from the 90s and called it a day carry Russell in Kate. I love carry Russell on red carpets because she dresses like the Brooklyn downtown scene stir. She is that was a leather dress. It was a leather

“gown. Backless. It had these really cool details that were almost a little bit industrial,”

but she still a classy, loved it, loved it. Okay, for the win. The nervious celebrity look on the red carpet goes to Meg Stalker. Meg Stalker, you are in the running for a nerve award 2026. She showed up dressed as an Emmy, as an Emmy in full Emmy award drag. She's also clearly not on a GLP1, and I will say to you, I salute you Meg. Good for you. She is making a literal stand that does it. That does it for this edition of the nerve at night. If you haven't already, please go check out

our Substack that is our weekly email. It drops every Friday after the last full nerve of the week, but before the mini drops on Saturday, it is full of bonus original content behind the scenes stuff, my recommendations. I answer questions you guys have put to me either in email or on in YouTube comments. Teddy's got his own column going on over there. You know, he's looking to like just take over the whole thing, but we just keep him close. We just keep him close. That is over at the

nerveshow.com. The mother ship go over there to subscribe, plus nerve, merch, go grab some top level shit for yourself or fellow treble maker over at shopthener.com. We will see you back here on Friday

for a full episode of the nerve where you will never guess what we're about to say next.