Landing Your First Senior Role + The Friendship Recession

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So why not you? Try Odo for free at Odo.com, that's OdoO.com. Visual office errors with PropG, this is the part of the show where we answer questions about business, big tech entrepreneurship, and whatever else is on your mind. A big update, office hours are now running on Mondays and Wednesdays in the PropG feed.

You'll still get double the dog, double the inside. What if that big news? I don't know if that was big news, maybe that's big issue news. Anyways, if you'd like to submit a question for next time, you can send a voice recording to office hours of PropGmated.com, again, that's office hours of PropGmated.com, or post

your question on the Scott Galois subreddit, and we just might feature it on our next episode.

Question one, our first question comes from Jake, who emailed us.

I Scott, I recently landed my first senior role in a large company. I'm 28 years old, and this is a huge increase to the level of responsibility I'm used to. The company has 31 significant businesses and owns an operator. It's my job will be both to develop the partnerships that make the business as possible

and to turn up new business. What advice do you have for young people who land their first senior role? What is the best approach I can take for the first few months to ensure long-term success on the job? Huh.

Well, typically, most people who get a promotion, or already started doing the job, I've

“said, if you want to be promoted, start doing that job, start behaving as if you are doing”

that job. So my guess is you already, you know, my guess is the people who made the promotion are smart. So what advice? Be humble, meet with the people who are now reporting to you and ask them, you know,

checking with them, ask how you can be helpful to them, do a really good job, go overboard in public circles of praising your team and deflecting credit to members of your team. Be seen as like a good person who's empathetic and who wants them to win. Meet with them a lot. I don't, I wouldn't be drunk on your power. I think the last thing you want to do is be

like the young asshole that's like all of a sudden telling everyone to do. So I think the first thing to do is probably to have a coffee with your entire team, take them out, get their impression of what's going on, how can you help them be more successful? And, you know, just bring it, show up 10 minutes early to everything, leave 10 minutes after everyone else, show you're willing to roll up your sleeves.

I'm a big fan. There's two management styles. There's, we're two leadership styles, I should say, there's the inspiring leader who gets up and gives a speech and tells people what to do and wow, isn't this person compelling? And then there's the player coach.

I've always been the inspiring leader and that is I like getting it, but all hands and talking

about the business and I'm articulate and trying to motivate people. That only lasts so long, because after all, people started hearing the same stories and get

The second player coach, actually, the woman Catherine Dillon who runs property media is

a great example of a player coach leader. And that is, if she doesn't like the edit, you did on one of these podcasts, one of the producers does on one of these podcasts. She'll typically go through the edit with them and show them what to do. When we, we've worked together about 15 years when we were in an office space in Grand

Village, I constantly saw her when she was editing videos or working on a report or doing charts. She was our creative director back then. She would take her chair and pull it next to the person and be next to that person for an hour.

She wouldn't come back and say, this is wrong. This is wrong. And this is wrong. Fix it.

“She would sit down and say, this is how I think we can make this better and we teach them”

a player coach. I actually think that's a much more valuable means of leadership. So trying to be a player coach and that is where you see opportunities to help the people working with and/or reporting to you, sit down with them and try and upskill them and give them the sense that you're going to make it more likely the Dell win.

And I would also just in meetings deflect again, deflect credit, let other people speak, try and listen, just be very thoughtful. And then for three or six months, just show that you know, you've come to play and work very hard. More than that, you know, I don't know, be a player coach, don't be an asshole, work

hard. I guess that's about it and don't be afraid to check them with your boss and say, it's been three months, six months, how am I doing, where can I improve? I congratulate them, so it's exciting for you, which got a good problem. Question number two.

Hi, Prof. G. My name is Leslie.

“I'm 31 years old and I have a general question for you about growing up and losing friends.”

It seems like as I age, I lose more and more friends every year. It's harder and harder to see my friends from college or the few that remain from high school and the simple act of getting a beer with a few of my friends is a daunting task. Hangin' out with my friends, it seems more like a board meeting. We have to schedule, then it does just hang on session, like it used to be.

I have no kids, I'm single, and that life makes me happy. I'm a working professional who has multiple graduate degrees and plenty of hobbies that I enjoy. So I'm not some shelter person vaping in my mom's basement, but I do miss my friends. I miss a life that we had, that seems like it's coming gone.

I understand that life, career, family, is going to make friendships less tangible as we age. I'm not 21 anymore, I don't live on campus, so the days are just going out and drinking on a random Thursday are far gone. I sat as that is, but how do I accept the fact that navigate an adult world of just

“mostly being alone and not seeing my friends anymore?”

Thanks, Prof. G. Frall, you do. So thanks to the question and the vulnerability, so just some data on what's being referred to as a friendship recession, American support having fewer close friendships, and they once did talking to the friends less often and relying less on their friends for a personal support.

Just 30% of US adults say they have 10 or more close friends compared with 33% in 1990. So the number of close friends has been kept by two thirds, according to the World Economic Forum. The percentage of US adults who report having no close friends has quadrupled to 12% since 1990.

London and 7 men can name a single friend, and I think one in four men can name a best friend. It's interesting. It's not as bad for women.

Two thirds of men say their wife is their best friend, one third of women say

that women are better and maintaining friendships. In terms of times, spent with friends, Americans consistently spend about five or seven hours with friends a week, and now it's plummeted to four hours. It's all going to the fucking phone, the phone ruins everything, it's every day, second by, second, 40% of the S&P is invested in interest in sequestering you from your friends,

your mentors, in your, in your, um, mates, the OECD data suggests people now spend 25 last time socializing face to face compared to 20 years ago. I'm shocked. It's not 50%. So why it's happening, Americans are marrying later than ever, and are more geographically

mobile than the past, not in these trends can increase social isolation. American parents are also spending twice as much time with their children compared to previous generations, leaving last time for friends, and in this crowds of friendships, and suburban sprawl has physically distance people from one another.

The government is slow investment in third spaces, community centers, parks, coffee shops,

leaving fewer places for organic social interaction, the rate of volunteering has deeply declined since the early 2000s.

Americans with close friends say they met at work, less than half, 47% report making

“a close-branded school about one in three have made a close friend in their neighborhood”

and about one in five through a place of worship or club organization, by the way, remote

work, remote school, attendance, religious institutions at all time, lows, fewer, three, third

places. There's just fewer venues to make friends among seniors, only 41% said they've made a new friend in the past year, suggesting our willingness or capacity to forge new bonds fades over time. So, back to your situation, you're in a part of life where people are a lot of

your friends are probably busy, you know, having kids and dogs and getting dogs and focused on their relationship and trying to get ahead professionally. So that is an age where, I don't even say people go dark, but people are just doing their own thing, forming their own families, trying to work a lot, trying to get some economic security.

So, some of it might be that your friends are less available. Also, I don't think it's, I mean, I had a ton of close friends or friends in college and I still stay in contact with aid in two or three or I'm still close with and I'm better at, I'm, I pride myself, I try to be very good at friends, but I would argue if you're kind of doing your own thing and you're happy with it.

When I first moved in New York in 2000, I went through a weird stage and that is, I got divorced,

I basically said to my ex, you can have all our friends. I just wanted, I wanted to press the reset button on my life. I was living in San Francisco, starting a commerce company, I couldn't stand San Francisco, I couldn't stand venture capitalists, I didn't like, I was also running a strategy for him, I hated the services business, I hated playing fucking golf with clients all the time,

hated managing people in my early thirties, I don't think it was very good at it, constantly raising money and I just wanted out. And I moved in New York and I joined the faculty of NYU and quite frankly, I lived a little bit like a caveman, kind of just left for a place to go hunting for food and water. And I didn't stay in contact with friends and I got to be honest, I kind of liked those

few years. I was, I liked being alone, I'm a bit of an intro, I did decide at some point though that I need to make more of an effort to be involved in people's lives to re-ignite some friendships, to rekindle some friendships, to try and find a romantic relationship because I just determined that it was fine from 30, whatever it was, for at a 38, but if I was doing that at a 50,

I would probably be dead by 55, there's a lot of evidence and data showing that if you want to die, especially as a dude, just go into your apartment or home and don't have any contact with anybody. And I realize I recognize this is just unhealthy, it's indulgent and as much as I'm kind of enjoying it, it's unhealthy.

But I wouldn't be, you know, where you are at 31, maybe not having a lot of friends right now or not seeing them a lot, if it feels forced, don't do it. And find maybe some passions, if you're into your hobbies, maybe maybe just engage in those hobbies in places where you can be around other people and maybe meet others, but rather if you're happy and doing your own thing, and your friends aren't quite as available,

I wouldn't beat yourself up around it. Just make sure that you feel good about yourself, that you have enough social interaction, maybe err on the side of having more social interaction, accepting more invitations, be open to yes when you get invited to things go.

“I think at your age, like not everyone needs a romantic relationship, but I think you should”

at least be trying. I mean, that's part of being a mammal and some people are loners and very happy, but I think most people aren't. I think most people really enjoy friendships and romantic relationships and you learn a lot about the world and yourself, and also when it works, they're just super rewarding, so

it sounds like you have your shit together, it sounds like you're happy with where you are fine, don't beat yourself up, it's no big crisis, your friends are busy, your busy, but maybe err a little bit on the side of saying yes to more things and being open to new friendships, I have consistently shed and renewed my friendship pool and that is if I make

a friend situationally and we like each other, but when I first moved to New York, I had

a bunch of what I call wingmen and that is, didn't know anybody, so I found a bunch of drinking buddies that I go out with and try and have a good time and meet women and I'm not friends with most of those people now, not because they're not good guys, but now

“I'm in a different stage of life, anyways, I think you're doing just fine, err on the side”

of yes, thanks to the question. We'll be right back after a quick break. Support for the show comes from LinkedIn, it's a shame when the best B2B marketing gets wasted on the wrong audience, like imagine running an ad for a cataract surgery on Saturday morning cartoons or running a promo for this show on a video about Roblox or something,

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This week on Network and Chill, I'm joined by Tanksonatra, the meme king with over 15 million

followers across Tankskut news, influencers in the wild, and his personal account. Tank is breaking down what the meme economy really is, how much a single sponsored post-pays, why major brands are throwing serious money at jokes and how meme culture think preparation, age, starter packs, and a perfectly timed screenshot is actually reshaping how we think about money and value.

Get ready for a conversation that'll change the way you scroll, make your rethink what going viral is really worth, and prove that sometimes the most serious money moves are wrapped in the silliest of jokes. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on youtube.com/yourrichbf. Welcome back, question number three.

Hey property, my name is Matt, I met you in your wife last summer while working as a valiant in Tucket, and you're guys as kindness and generosity left the lasting impression on me. I just wanted to start by saying thank you, for both that moment and the content you continually put out.

I recently finished running down a dream by Bill Gurley, and I noticed an interesting contrast between his philosophy and yours. And don't worry, I've read all your books as well. He emphasizes finding passion first and letting it develop into a talent, why you often teaches you as finding talent and letting passion follow.

I'd really value your perspective on my situation. I work in the mortgage industry for a homebuilder as a loan officer associate, and I'm about to be promoted into a commission-based role in a high-volume division closing about 1200 homes a year. It's a strong opportunity with decent upside, but I don't feel passionate about the work,

and I often wonder if there's something more out there for me. Should I lean into this path and simply try to excel or step back and look for something

“that leaves me a little bit more fulfilled and better aligns with my interest?”

Any advice would mean a lot, thanks again. So we're a gentleman, we say, this is the first time I'm right here and now you're listening to this for the first time. I'm hearing this for the first time, and my producer uploaded an image, and we should put it on the side, or I don't know, we'll have it, maybe in the YouTube video, of a picture

of me in this kid. And it's literally just made my fucking day. I remember this kid, he's like a handsome dude, and he came up and said how much he liked my work into this lovely young man, and I think we even talked about your job. And I think I parked cars, I parked cars, I waited tables, I was a boxboy, I did all

that, I think services were, I encourage my son, and he did, he worked in a food truck and then tuck it to the summer. I think every person, it should be mandatory for young people to have a services job. When you realize it's easy to just start thinking that their robots are an unwashed mass that just are here to serve you, no, they're not.

They're people like you trying to get through school, it just, it makes you a better

nicer person, more empathetic, and also it's incredible the skills you develop, facing the

public, and trying to navigate that's to anyways.

“I think it's great, and I absolutely thrilled to hear from you, and this is made my day.”

Okay, so your question. We just had bill on our property markets podcast. I would argue this is overlapped, there's some overlap here that some of it is semantics and how we're using the words, I had a clip of I will saying, find your talent, not your passion.

Okay, so I have found that what creates passion is mastery, and that is if you become really

are going to respect you, you're going to enjoy being good at it, and the accoutrements of being excellent at anything, camaraderie relevance, economic benefit, make you passionate about whatever that thing is. There's very few people who are really good at anything that aren't passionate about it, because when they need it to be passionate about it, become good at it.

Now, my caveat is that when you tell young people to find their passion, oftentimes they mistake their hobbies for their passion, you know, fashion is fun, nightclubs are fun, opening a restaurant, cooking, being an athlete, that would be a lot of fun, being an actor. I don't even think of this work. I think that would be fun, although it's a very difficult industry.

And the problem is the clinical passion or vanity industries are over invested.

What do I mean by that? 80 to 90 percent of SAGA after members didn't qualify for health insurance last year. These are the most talented actors in the world, didn't get health insurance last year, because they made less than $23,000 in qualified for health insurance. Why?

Because about 10 times more actors and actresses than there is demand.

“So you have to be in the point one percent.”

It's like trying to be an MBA player. My suggestion is the following. And that is, it sounds like you're kind of on a glide path in this mortgage job. Do it for a year or two years and think, could I be great at this? And if you could be great at it, it means you're probably not, you know, disliking it

last maybe starting to like it. And at some point, maybe have your own book, start your own company. I just, look, I think the business of finance is the highest paying industry in the world, because there's no friction. When you're manufacturing something, there's friction around the assembly line.

And the services business is friction around your time. The business of money is the best business in the world, because writing a mortgage for $800,000 takes as much time as writing a mortgage for $8 million. And as you go up to food chain, you know, you can do more volume. I just, the business of money is the best business in the world.

And it sounds like you haven't in there. It sounds like you're good at it. It sounds like you have some certification to do at it to do it. So what I would suggest is, unless you find it total drudgery, don't fall into the trap of thinking, I need to be passionate about something.

I've, I never would have known I was going to be passionate about analytics, I built

a big analytics business, I got a sold for a bunch of money, I didn't think I'd be passionate about e-commerce, I did that, I liked it. I knew I was going to be passionate about teaching, but quite frankly, I didn't start teaching until I had some economic security. So look, brother, I don't, I hate it when people say,

you fall your passion because they're being generous with your time and they don't have to pay your mortgage or buy you a car. And we live in a capitalist society and as a young man, you're going to be disproportionately evaluated on your economic viability.

“And I think your job is to find something you're good at.”

My advice, don't mistake your hobbies for your passions. Your job in your 20s is to find something you're good at that you could be great at. And in two or three years, if you find you hate it, I hated investment banking. I thought I want to be an investment maker, I did it for a couple of years, I hated it. I wasn't very good at it.

So I did something else. But it sounds like you've got an in here. It sounds like it's something where you can have some momentum. So I would stick with this. I wouldn't say don't take off for India and try and go to an ashram and decide what your destiny

is. It sounds like a bit of a glide path to check this out. It sounds like a good opportunity and have a kitchen cabinet of people and revisit and you'll know yourself, whether the upside of getting domain expertise and getting better at it,

compensate for anything bad about the job, but ultimately you'll know if you're starting

to develop a passion for it and try hard to develop, get good at something in an industry that is not a vanity industry, because you're competing against X number of people versus 10X. Anyways, rather, let me just finish where I started, this is made my day. I love this picture of you and very much glad to hear it from you and if you're, I'm

“going to be in that tech that I think the last two weeks of August.”

If you're there, send me a message and we'll grab coffee. I would love to catch up. Thanks again. That's all for this episode. If you'd like to submit a question, please email a voice recording to OfficerProximity.com.

Again, that's OfficerProximity.com or if you'd prefer to ask on Reddit, just post your question on the Scott Galois subrutted and we just might feature it and I'm coming at this episode. This episode is produced by Jennifer Sanchez and Laura Jenerer. Can we request our social producer, Brad Williams, as our editor, and Drew Burrows, as our

technical director. Thank you for listening to the Propsheet Pop from Propsheet Media.