If You’re Waiting for “The Right Time”, You’ll Stay Broke

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start budgeting for free today. [MUSIC] >> Normal is broken, common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fair Wins Credit Union Studio,

this is the Ramsey Show Triple 8-825-5225, it is the phone number to jump in Triple 8-825-5225, alongside the good PhD, Dr. John Deloni, that's fun to say instead of the good doctor, I just mixed it up a little bit.

>> It's more honest. >> What's right at it? It's a PhD, you got two of them folks. He's going to leverage him, the letter is right. >> The winner is the candidate, guys, the doctor.

They assume, oh, he can go, it's great. >> He'll me, yeah, so we've got an interesting combo. We have a lot of fun, so beware, we'll help you, but we're going to have fun in the meantime. Sarah's up, she's going to get us started in Phoenix,

Sarah's own, Sarah, how could we help today? >> Hi, well, I have a big question. I want to know, how do I protect my financial future and regain trust? Now that I know my partner has been very dishonest about his debt.

>> Tell us more, and here's what we want to hear.

“How dishonest and how long the good did you find out?”

Give us that detail. >> Sure, sure. So I found out, it's been three sets of dishonesty, but the major one was this recently in December. I found out he actually has $65,000 in credit card debt.

>> Okay. >> And finding this out, how'd you find out? >> Yeah. >> Yeah, so I thought he only had $10,000, and so I-- >> Pollant, did you make that number up?

Or does that what he told you? >> That is what he told me. >> I am a very straight shooter. I'm older, so like dating, I hit the high points very early on, and he told me he had $10,000 in credit card debt.

So I was like, "Hey, that's workable."

>> So he lied in your face. >> Yeah, come to find out, yeah. >> Okay. >> Yeah. So I planned to, you know, I thought we were going to send a future

together and get married. So my personal gift was I'm going to pay off your $10,000 credit cards. And so I went into his open desktop and found a spreadsheet that actually did not have $10,000, it was $65,000. >> Okay, and how long it was this?

>> This was December, because that was going to be my Christmas gift. >> Are you all still together? >> We are still together.

“>> All right, when you confronted him, what was that like?”

>> Yeah, it was very awkward. He just said he was very embarrassed, that he's not worried wanted to be in his life and he knows like I'm the person for him and like he didn't want me to run after he found after I found out that truth.

>> And there's some truth to that, because you would have. Yeah, here we are three months later and you're calling us. >> Yes, but this was already a year into our relationship, I found that. >> No, no, like you said, when he told you that number 10,000, you thought, "Okay, this is manageable."

Like I can settle for him in this way. And so his impulse, like what he did was wrong. No question. But his impulse is right. She will judge me based on this debt number and will not give a relationship

a shot. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So he was, and is there, here I am coming after you, is there tell me about the integrity of going through his laptop and going through his financial numbers?

>> Is that something-- >> Completely accident, no, it was my internet went down at my home, I worked remote a couple days a week and I'm in a like a executive level. Like I need internet, I need a quiet office who's like just go to mine and so when I logged in, because I mean, he gave me his password, I logged in to log into the internet for my meetings and the spreadsheet was there.

>> Okay, so he gave you his computer. >> Yes, so I'm not going-- I was not going. >> Okay. >> But I could not look, I'm not going to lie, I want to sit with there.

“>> Yeah, but let's just boil this down, what do you want John and I to weigh in on?”

>> Yeah. >> I guess a couple of things is one, I get the lie, but I'm very financially in a separate category, like I pay off $150,000 in student loans. >> Hold on. >> You're very, very judgmental.

>> Oh, thank you. >> And you have put yourself on a pedestal and you are looking, contempt is one of the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse according to the government and contempt is a power hierarchy. I am better than.

>> I mean, I mean it like that, I'm-- >> Yeah, I give it, okay, you may be right, but I'd like to give for a little more attitude. >> Okay. >> Objection denied, keep going, keep going, you were going somewhere, but John may be right, but I want to play this out, keep going.

>> I was just trying to give a background, because again, I met my part, I thought I met

being honest, but it's also being a 35 year old single woman that got her doctorate. I work 80 hour weeks, I work four jobs to have someone that's not willing to side hustle the same way. >> Okay. >> That's why we're here.

>> Okay.

“>> Now, that's why John, I wanted to background.”

>> So now, John's absolutely right, he got ahead of me, which says not surprising as to PhDs. I don't have to agree at all for anybody that's keeping score at home and I'm proud of it

and never going to get it.

So I don't care what you think. However, John did catch it, but I think it's for a different reason. I don't think you're judgmental, but I think he's on to something. I'm going to say you're not judgmental, but I think you resent him, because you're bringing up how much work you've done, you've busted your tail, you did everything the right way

and he's not willing to at least go get a side hustle. I think you're judgmental on his effort and his just overall gumption. Is that right or wrong? >> Partially, especially when I get to financial peace and you're not interested. So do you mean that's just then what are we doing here?

>> There's a question.

>> Hey, off your credit card debt.

>> I don't know why you're with you. Can I be honest with you? >> I don't know why you're with this guy and I'm going to, it's going to sound awful.

“I don't know why he's with you because here's the thing, you all have different beliefs”

and me and my wife have been married 23 and a half years. We have different beliefs on a thousand different things. But we share values and y'all don't share values and somebody can be a great hang. They can be super loyal. They can be somebody you fall in love with.

But if you don't share values, you're going to end up starting your marriage in two separate boats, rowing as fast as you can and you're going to end up in separate harvers.

I don't think this is the guy and I don't know if that's why you called.

I think I tried to ask you. I don't think that this is a good fit unless he now listen, I would say this. If you haven't told him all of this, now's the time to do the old fashioned DTR to find the relationship, but tell him where your frustrations are and say, those frustrations are leading me to fears that you're not for me.

I'd give the guy a shot.

“If you want to give him a shot, here's how I would enter that conversation.”

I have judged you and your work ethic and I've compared it to mine. I've judged how much debt you have. I've judged your lack of caring about it and I have made my values your problem. Well, I'm not so much worried about that. I started counseling with him because he can I'm invested in him in the relationship.

My concern is if we get through the $65,000 debt, is there a way to regain that trust about finances because I'm yes, yes, you get a lot of money. John, tell you here's how you regain trust, it's very hard, but it's very simple. You give him a map that is 14 days long on what he needs to do to help regain trust. That might be I want to see your credit report, that might be on all your social media

accounts, any number of things. You get to make up the path and he gets to decide whether he wants to walk that journey or not. 14 days, you already convene and you commit, if you walk this path, I'm not going to keep keep your lack of the, you know, your dishonesty in my back pocket as an ace that I can

play at any time, I'm going to commit to trusting you as we move forward slowly and slowly. Just step by step, so 14 days, then another 14 days, and another 30 days, and there are 60 days, we're going to give him a road map and give him a chance to follow it. Hey, what's up guys it's Jade, listen my husband and I drive used vehicles, and we really do plan on keeping those running for a long time, so we trust Christian Brothers automotive

to take care of them. Their team is honest, their shops are super clean, and what I love is they don't try to upsell us on things that we don't need. I personally feel really confident walking into Christian Brothers because I know that no one's going to try to take advantage of me or scare me into unneeded repairs, Christian

Brothers gets it, so schedule a service today at cbac.com/ramsy and get 10% off your visit. That's up to a $250 value, C-Stores for details. All right, Columbia South Carolina is where we're going next. Lee is there. Lee, how can we help?

Yes, I'm just kind of dealing with the situation with my mom here.

over $300,000 worth of debt, and I've been trying to lay an out for her, but she's kind

of being prodful about the situation, she's her ownership, I'm just trying to see what I should do, so I come all of a sudden to move on, is there anything else I could do to help

“her, could I like try to get her a financial piece of her or see something like that?”

Before we get into that part, why are you still living with your mom? So, it happened a few years ago, this situation with me and my wife that we were living in different households, that kind of deal kind of went out on that end, and she offered to let us stay at her home. My mom isn't over a truck driver, and so was her seem to be ex-husband, and so they're

really home, like 100 days out of year, so they just said, "Come on, I'm going to stay with us, save up, and we can get your own stuff." What's the plan to get out? So we had plan to get out originally within a year of being there, but then not even six months into us living there, my mother came to me asking for $12,000 to help them deal with

their monthly finances.

All right, I know the question is about mom, and how do I help her with her dead?

So, John, that's a, that's a really interesting family situation, and I was, I was wanting to see if there was any other dynamics with him and living there and all of this business. So this is this kind of sticky. What do you think?

Yeah. It's one of the hardest things in the world, brother, is when someone we love is doing something that is destructive, and they have no interest in our education and our wisdom or our advice, they just want us to participate in their continued lifestyle. And so what I want to challenge you on is, don't look at her and say she's being prideful,

and at the same time become prideful as though you're the, you're the keyholder to her future change, right, be humble and say she doesn't want my help. And so all I can control here is me, and so I will no longer give money. I will be willing to talk if you're interested in systemic change, not just continue to give you 12 grand every few months, and I, it's probably going to cost me my free housing.

And so me and my wife are going to figure out what we are going to do next. For sure. But hey, there's a language to give her. Do what? Yeah.

We never did give her that 12,000 because that was when we started at some of the questions

and found out how crazy the finances were.

“Okay, and so we kind of started stepping 30 trying to say, hey, you need to change some things, and that's when her seemed”

to be lactose and got upset and decided he did not want to be around anymore. Yeah. Most, most parents do not want to hear their children's input about their money or their sex life. All right.

All right. And on the rare occasion that your mom comes to you and says, hey, I'm over my head. I need help. I'll do it every say. Because you and your wife look like you'll have it together, then that's an invitation.

I'll walk through that door 100 times out of 100. All right. But behaviors of language, she has told you repeatedly through her actions. I don't care what you have to say. This is my life.

I'm going to live it. By the way, can I have $12,000? Yeah, for sure.

“I think she wanted out of it originally.”

And now, it's just that it's the mixed bag of emotions. My mother was kind of a victim of abuse as a child and I think she's ever really copaled with that fully. And you diagnosing her or internet diagnosing her, you putting things on her, none of that helps.

All right. All right. I get you. The greatest gift you could give her is you and your wife live such peaceful, financially responsible, safe lives and not safe in the, you don't take risks in adventure, but safe

like y'all are a home base for each other. That is going to be a, your mom may say, I want what y'all have. I am and probably she won't and I'm going to ask a question of John Lee on your behalf. Okay. All right.

John I, I'm, I'm wondering if he doesn't need to shift from help mode, worry mode. And it's understandable. He's a good man. Of course. I'd be worried about my mom.

But I wonder if he doesn't now need to move to grieving mode, just accept the reality. Yeah. There is a, all of the internet diagnostics, all of the, she's got this and she's struggling with this and she needs to do this, all of that is, may have some, some drops of truth in it, but that's a way from, for you to distract yourself from grief.

Yeah. This thing.

She's been in a bad situation for a long, long time and she's been in a adult for a long,

long time and she's continued in some of these patterns and now she's got a big huge mess and she refuses my help. That's heartbreaking and I'm going to spend some time being sad. Yeah. That's true.

Really on the backside of that is what can I do? I can pray for her if I think that's a thing. I can love her, that's a thing. And I can advise her as John said, if she comes and ask for advice, other than that, my

“friend, there's nothing you can do and, and that's why I asked John that question because”

that's going to get you to the mental and emotional place that you need to be to where this doesn't drive you bananas. Is that, is that fair? 100%. I think grief, grief is simply the gap between what you wanted and what actually is reality.

True. Right. And man, spend some time in that gap and it's heartbreaking. We don't have good cultural models for just being sad, just being heartbroken, being in deep grief for a while.

And then we're going to do the next right thing for us and our family tree. Let's go to Scott now and Fort Worth, Texas, Scott. How can we help? I think stick my calls. Sure.

I guess pretty quick question. I have a little property, it's my last piece of that. I'm planning on selling about a year and a half, and I'm trying to side if it's wise or to pay it off. Or maybe if I have that money to pay it off, take it in and invest it and just kind of pay them mortgage until I'm ready to sell it.

Which is probably about the next summer of basically summer of 20.7.

Why don't you sell it now? I have tenants in it and I thought maybe I'd order the lease. I have for them and they have about a year and six months of stuff. Can you still sell it? I mean, man, if somebody's trying to buy a rental property, how cool would be for them

“to buy a place with the lease of a year already signed up?”

That's good. That's what I thought. I've mentioned it to the real estate agent. They told me that usually investors use them looking for a really good deal. Kind of sell the property for less than value. But I don't know if that's accurate, that's just kind of a--

What give us some real numbers really fast? What would you, would you stand to make on it? Well, I'd probably have a 100,000 equity in it. It's about 125 pay off and I have the CD coming mature within the next month that we cover that.

And it's your only debt? It's my only debt. Why do you want to sell it? Are you tied to being a landlord? We've just had a lot of lot of changes and I just, you know, focus is changed

and just not, I don't know, just maybe waiting for an older home for something to happen, I haven't done one of my hatred. I figured out they'd be out within the next year or two. I'll be good talk for us to show. And based on what little bit I know, I would lean that direction.

But I'm a guy that--

“I kind of go big and momentum when I feel like life is changing”

different season out of this fits, I just do it. But I think there's a case that I think John is leaning into here to go, do I hold on to it, give in your financial position. What would you do with the windfall that you would make? What are you thinking?

With the 100,000, I thought I'd come by. I mean, I exchange kids that are fixing possibly to go to school and look into kind of, investing them a little bit with the portion of it. They realize that we're not paying completely for school. So it's helping that be partially used for them and maybe partially used a few things

to do for our primary home and then that ever's left. Just making sure you need a little traditional IRA or something like that. When would you pay the house off if you were not to sell it? What's your payoff date? If I wasn't to sell it, that's right.

The payoff date would be probably by the end of this month. To pay it off, I don't think we're you're understanding what I'm asking. I'm sorry. He's about to have a CD mature. Oh, the CD, that's right.

That's right. So you would pay it off. What do you think, John? That's interesting.

Scott, I basically, I have an emergency piece on that covers about six.

Here's what I would do. I would get a second opinion. I would go to ramsysolutions.com and check out the real estate pros in your area. And this is in a sales pitch. This is exactly what I would do if I'm in your situation.

I would call a real estate pro and say, "Hey, here's my situation." I'm of the opinion that when your spirit leaves something, your body needs to leave it too. You already want to sell this house. I would sell your house in the next 30 or 60 days. And either have a hard conversation with your tenants or sell it to somebody who will honor their year lease.

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“Brandon is up next in Shane, Antonio, Texas. Brandon, how can we help you?”

Hi, how are you? How are you doing today? Good, how are you, sir? I'm very blessed. Thank you for taking my call. I just had a brief question for you guys. I recently transferred over here to San Antonio, I'm a U.S. Army nurse. And throughout my career, I've had multiple conversations about finances with other soldiers.

And some of you had some of them dead, but when people ask me about what I follow and what I do, I always point them to Ramsy Solutions.

And there's this consistent negative mindset among a lot of soldiers that I've met regarding Ramsy Solutions. And the primary reason has always been how Ramsy Solutions views debt as evil. And so, you know, the military promotes a lot of things that put you in the debt, government travel charts card. They try to get you on the AMX Platinum card. They tell you about all the different loans and mortgages you can get me in a service member. And I guess my question is, how, as the average Joe, can I talk to my fellow soldiers about why putting yourself in debt is wrong, regardless of how sweet the deal looks?

Man, your heart is awesome. Very good. What do you think, Ken? Well, the reason I'm taught, there's an old phrase is when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Yeah.

And I don't want to simplify it to that, but that was my first response. It's in John said this in a call earlier today talking to this guy about his mom. And I thought what John said is great, and I'll borrow it.

“You know, I think the best thing you can do for your fellow soldiers is actually live with financial peace.”

And in a way that is humble, you know, you're not walking around talking about how much you have in your emergency fund and stuff like that. But just live it. There's an old phrase in the church world, which makes me roll my eyes, but it's a applicable here, John. And I think it's lifestyle evangelism, in other words, you know, just live in such a way that people go, hey, you know what?

When we talk about all this, like you never say anything.

Yeah. And you kind of have some peace on your face. What's your deal? And then you go, oh, well, so I just don't believe in debt. I don't borrow money. And here's why I think that's probably best in the barracks, sorry for the alliteration.

But I think that's, I really do. I think that's there, because institutionally you're right, you describe what's happening there up against that. If someone does say, I want to know more, and they're having a hard time with the debt is bad thing. I think you have to reframe it. There's a simple little construct that I like to use, and that is, define the problem, reveal the solution, give the reason for the solution.

And so the problem is not debt when you talk to somebody who thinks debt is normal.

The problem is the emotion and the stress and the lack of margin and all the other things, right? So you can personalize the problem by asking them. How, how stressed out are you, but what is your debt due to you? Like ask questions. I like to be an asker, not a teller.

“That's what hit me first. All the way in the framework of live it and then be able to explain it well.”

John, what are your thoughts? Brandon, so in 2008 or '09, I was hung out with a bunch of super nerds, okay? And there was this new thing that came out called the ketogenic diet. And bro, I turned in to the most annoying diet zealot you could ever imagine. I ruined every dinner party. And no matter where we were, I somehow shifted the conversation to, let me give you my thoughts on a high fat, no carb diet, okay?

he's so annoying about it, I don't want that in my life. And now I have a new rule, and I had to develop this rule since I took this new job, but it served me well in my relationships outside of work.

And that is, I only answer questions that I'm asked. And like I said, I like my life to speak the, like, speak for me first.

And so I want people to come up, I can walk into every dinner, I'm working on a marriage project right now. I can walk into every dinner and be like, you know, it would fix y'all's marriage, it would fix your marriage, and they would all be like, get, get away from me. But if I make sure I'd put in the work every day to have the best marriage possible, and my wife does too, then people are like, what are y'all doing? Well, how do y'all still like each other after this many years, right?

“And I, here's the thing, can, can nailed it, you're not going to solve an emotional answer with a data point, you just not.”

Let me look at our country for God's sakes, right? I mean, you can be like, hey, here's the temperature and people are like, no, it's not. Here's the, here's the color of the sky, trader, no, you're not, you know what I mean? Like, you're not on our side anymore. And so everything is emotion, and so I love kids like Brody F. Peace, because I drive an old car instead of a jacked up Jeep that I borrowed for $50,000, and it's depreciating every second I own it. I just have an old pickup truck dude, and I don't mind if it gets dense, I laugh in this, in this shopping cart, I mean, the shopping parking lot, when somebody dings it like, I have peace, you don't have that.

That's why I don't borrow money, man.

And if you want to do the nerd stuff and go down depreciation schedules and all that, you can do that, but that's almost always not the issue.

But hey, thanks for your service, and thanks for your heart, John Nail, that you're just a great American all the way around, and by the way, you'll have the opportunity. You'll have the opportunity to speak into people's lives, which got to earn that, and John Nail that, we got to be careful not to be evangelist when they're like, I don't even want to go to church. The two words I have found when people ask me, like, and they're being serious, and they're not trying to just mess with me, because they know where I work, like, hey, for real, like, you really don't have credit card.

And the two words that I have found resonated with people are, when I say, I solve for peace, not for arbitrage. And I call it a sleep tax. I paid off my 3.2% mortgage or whatever it was, because I could have invested, I could have tried to make the get, I could have known that, because I put my head on my pillow every night, knowing nobody can take my house away. I paid a sleep tax, and the other word is freedom. Nobody owns my family. No bank, no card dealership, no nothing.

“So the words peace and the words freedom, those two words seem to resonate when people are actually asking, why do you avoid that?”

Let's go to Mark. Now, Mark is in Minneapolis. How can we help? Yes, I'm wondering if I, I know you strongly recommend term life insurance, and we're on baby steps seven, and I just want to know if it's necessary. Yeah, let's run through the numbers real quick. How old are you? 51. Okay. What's your net worth? 300. Okay. And what do you have any term life right now?

No. And we don't have any debt. Okay. Yeah. You definitely need term. So the reason I was asking you those questions is because sometimes people are self-insured in baby steps seven.

“And the way to kind of react to this is okay. If you were to die today, would your family be okay?”

Funny, actually. Well, they would still have to work, but. Well, what would they have? Well, what would they have? What would they have? What would they have? They would have 300.

Right. And who's they? I just, just my wife. Okay. She working now. Yes. Okay. And so the house is paid for us all the things. So I mean, I personally would want more, you know, I mean, we have a basic fundamental. It's 10x your income, right? And so what's your income? 50,000.

So 500,000. I mean, here's what I would do. I'd call our friends at Xander Insurance. Yes, you need term.

I think you need 100%. Yes. You do. You don't have enough. And so at a minimum, you're $500,000 policy so that your wife would get that upon your death. I think that's a minimum, but call our friends at Xander'sander.com and get their recommendation, get a quote.

Yeah, do that. You definitely definitely need it. I want my wife when I die to get to decide what she wants to do next, not have to go do that.

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Donna is up next and St. Louis, Donna, how can we help?

Hi, nice to talk to you, but I have a question about retirement. Okay. So I think we're headed in the right direction. We're doing pretty well, but I was wondering why you'd recommend 15% to be saved off your gross income. Aha. Okay. Tell us where you are in the moment. What's your situation? Sure, $47 and my husband's 54. He is completely disabled, so he won't be working from today into retirement. And then I currently, we have $748,000 retirement, $75,000 in savings, our house is paid for, no debt whatsoever.

And then I'm kind of lazy. I saved 20% to cover his income from disability and mine to other in my employee sponsored 401k. Okay. You think that's lazy? It's lazy that I don't open up other accounts. I do it just put the money in. I don't ever see the money and have it taken out each paper.

“I think that's lazy. I think you're incredibly disciplined.”

So what's at the root of this question? I understood your question, but what's the question behind why do I need to save 15% when you're already saving 20? I'm very bad at spending money. Okay. So it's good to have bumpers in place so that I can plan accordingly and know where to spend that and know when I retire that I, you know, I'll have about this much money and I can take out about this much. I just want to learn the logic of the 15% so I have bumpers.

Okay. Well, again, I appreciate that, but I'm not hearing somebody who, somebody who loves to spend so much in your self aware and kind of beating yourself up a little bit. You've done a darn good job. Oh, no, no, no. I don't like to spend. I'm horrible at spending. Oh, I miss understanding. You will spend any money. I got with money in my bank then I would a new pair of shoes or not. I'm misunderstood.

All right. I'm going to bring in the good doctor over here who's been person his lips growing. Oh, wow. What a year awesome, Donna. I do too. Oh, thank you.

But why 15% I mean, so good. 15% is is it's a, it's a number that will get most people to a comfortable retirement that does not take away the ability to live and enjoy their life while they're having it. Why they have it?

So that you're in again, you are thinking about future you. So when there comes a day in your care of your husband's going to go up, it's going to become more difficult and more time consuming. If you have put in a good amount of money that's going to keep you all comfortable and safe there when you're no longer able to work. And conversely, if you say 50% of your income every day, you're going to end up with a ton of money. And you're going to sit there at 70 on your on your front porch and realize, oh, my knees don't work. I can't go skiing now.

I can't, I can't do the things that I could have done when I was younger. So 15% gives you a number that that is. It's a stretch for some people for you. It sounds like it sounds like it's not enough for you. I do 20 just to cover my husband's disability, so it's our whole gross.

“And do you or are you saving out of a out of out of a out of a scarcity mindset out of a compulsion?”

Or you have a husband with with unique needs right now. And so you just see, you know what, this makes me feel safer today. I have no problem not doing x y or z because I really want to make sure we're good on the back end. I don't think some of both. I wouldn't call it a compulsion to save. But I definitely know that he's a little older than me. He does he is disabled. It's going to cost a little bit. And I don't have children, so I want to make sure I have things in place that I can be taking care of.

And I always say taking care of well, but they also, you know, they get to enjoy themselves as well while they're taking care of me.

What is your income? Sure. Our gross income is 135,000. How much of that is here? He makes about 28,000. Yeah. So after all expenses paid and everything, how much margin do you have at the end of most months?

I can live on a shoe string. I know that. I know that. No car payment. So if we had to, we could live on his business. No, because you answer my question.

You didn't answer my question. I want a real number. I'm not holding you to it. I'm going somewhere with this. On an average month. How much extra cash do you have at your decision? Yeah.

Because you know where I'm going? Not what you can do. That's right. I've done backpacking hunts out in the middle of the woods and the wilderness for days. You can do that.

How much cash does not sustainable? How much cash do you have left over? So I would say between $3 and $4,000. Okay. Tending is my critters getting a scoff board or something.

Okay. I get it. The reason I'm asking is John said something that made me ask that question. And I think whether you keep it to 20% not going to argue about that. Or you drop it to 15.

John just said something I think is really smart.

“You need to take some of that. Let's call it $3,000.”

And do something fun. Just live. You're an incredible wife. I know it is. Why?

Because you don't think you're worth it. Is that what it is? I'm sorry. What do you say? You don't think you're worth it.

I never think things are worth the cost.

If that makes sense. I can say at home. It doesn't make a difference. We are getting a new battery. I'm sorry.

That's where you go number one number two. Women like a bathroom. What is fun? I like walking my dog and hanging outside. Bad answer.

Come on. Bad answer. No, no, no. Let me ask it this way. Sure.

“What is something you have thought about doing recently?”

And you went to your default answer. You just shared with all of us. Which is I don't think it's worth spending money on that. Give me a real answer. For myself, I don't.

But my husband, he always wants to get you know a new this or new.

I don't like it. We don't need it. Here's your job drawing. I'm not letting it off the hook. Okay.

John's reading your mail. I think she's popping out by saying I don't think it's worth it. I think you're on to something. Dig a little bit. Yeah.

I know he is. You have. So does the audience. By the way, they're shaking their head. Wow.

Listen, Donna. I can only I can talk to you for an hour. We don't have that kind of time. I want you to. I want you to tattoo what I'm about to tell you right in the middle of your soul.

Okay. You're worth your worth laughter. You're worth having fun. You have a very hard life. You're taking care of somebody as a primary caregiver.

And you're working a job where you make six figures. That is not a punishment that you quote unquote deserve. That is a role you have nobly and honorably stepped into and we celebrate you.

You're worth joy. You're worth having fun.

Even if you roll your eyes and think that wasn't worth that money.

“And so your homework assignment is where's a place you want to go visit?”

Where is a place that you want to take two of your girlfriends or your sister or your husband or what that we want to go and it's going to be obnoxious and it's going to be expensive. And we are going to have a story to tell on our front porch one day when we're rocking and our rocking chairs. You want to say it?

Yeah. I have one in mind, but I say I'm not. What is it? What is it say? Rip it.

Rip it. What is it? I do. I do. I do.

I do. I do. I do. But you have $3,000 in margin every month and you're in great financial shape. How old are you?

Save up like James. What's a, what's a cost of a trip to Fiji? Run the numbers on it and save up a little bit but book the trip as soon as you get it.

“But I think you need to, I think you need to crawl before you walk.”

Don't always the last time you did an entire spa day at a really high end spa.

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That's net sweet.com/Ramsy. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwins credit union studio. The phone number to jump in the day is triple eight, eight, two, five, two, two, five. Tori is up next in Dallas, Texas. Tori, how can we help?

Hey there. So I'm just calling for some advice. So me and my husband bought a house in early 2024. We're both working. Everything was going great.

And then come 2025. We both lost our jobs within about three months of each other. We honestly had no savings. We didn't realize how much cost goes into buying a house. And all the things we would need to purchase for our house.

So we completely ran through all of our savings doing that. And when we lost, both of our jobs. We had, you know, the house payment. We have bills. And then we also had purchased jet skis.

A few months before this happened. So we had that monthly payment along with the car insurance and his truck note. So we ended up, you know, essentially living off of our credit cards. The mortgage company. I tried to get our mortgage lowered.

I was getting unemployment at the time. He was not eligible for unemployment. This helped a little bit. But we did fall behind on the mortgage. I asked him for a lower mortgage.

They made us into a forbearance before they lowered everything. So we did that. And now I'm working again. He is currently not working. Just because we do have a one and a half year old.

So we would have to put her in date here.

And he is planning to leave for the military. We just don't know when. So right now. We sold his truck to get rid of that in the insurance payment. But even with doing that, we're still not making ends meet.

The credit cards are getting way past due. And we also have to pay back what was past due on the house. So I don't even know where to start with everything or how to catch it.

Well, first things first.

We got to fix the income situation. And I'm hearing really good logical excuses. But they're excuses. Okay. We got a one and a half year old.

So my husband can't work. Daycare's to expense. I get it. By the way, that's all real. I'm not minimizing it.

But I'm hearing logical reasons is the why we aren't working like crazy. Because we have an income problem. So let's just get specific about that first. And then we'll dive into how do we climb out of this. Did you replace your income?

Or are you making less? Are you making more?

“What is your income situation today versus where it was before you lost the job?”

So I'm making the same amount that I was making before. Which is how much?

I bring in probably about 2,500 of mine.

Doing what? So I actually work. I do billing. For just a small business or big corporation. First small business.

Medical. Okay. And what did your husband do and what was he making? So he was a manager for logistics. And he was making more than me probably about 3,000.

Okay. So neither one of you were in high paying jobs. And yet we were buying toys. I just want to call that out. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Yes. Okay. And when would give us more on this military thing? That was just as fuzzy as it could be. What do we know?

So he's in less than in the military. We do have to wait. You know to find out when he goes to basic. It's sort of a waiting game with him. Do we have a manager?

I'm sorry. What was that? Do we have a range? In other words, is the, what branch is he in? So he's going into the army.

Go into the army and so the army hasn't told him it might be three months. It might be six months. Is it just open-ended? We have no idea sit by the phone. Yeah.

As of right now, it's basically sit and wait.

Okay. And we have no one that can watch your child that is not a professional daycare situation. No. She actually used to stay with a family member who decided to go back to work. Okay.

And could he work in the hours when you're at home? Yes. So he has been doing part-time delivery. No. No.

No. The maximum amount of money.

“If he can make $20 an hour scooping something in a warehouse somewhere, that's what he does until”

the army calls him. Three, three jobs. If he's watching the baby during the day, then he, you don't see him at night. He doesn't sleep. He works on the weekends.

I mean, this is the kind of level of intensity I want you to understand. You need, you need income. And can I tell you something? You need to be figuring out in the days ahead. I love that you got back to where you were.

But you aren't making enough either. Yes. Three. Okay. John, you want to walk through the debt situation.

How do they get out of it? I mean, you all are in a position now where you'll have, you have to choose reality. Reality is y'all are broke. And this is a scary scary place to find yourself especially with the one and a half year old, especially with a husband who's about to be gone for who knows how long and who knows where.

And if you're not honest, if you don't choose reality about how this is emotionally taxing you, how y'all have no peace. You'll have no freedom in your home. You're not going to have the emotional, to use kids where Jews. You're not going to have the emotional energy to go do it.

Has to be done in this moment. And what has to be done right now is both of y'all have to work. You'll have to work communically to climb up this thing. Sell everything you have. Sell the jet skis.

And if you're upside down on the jet skis, which you probably are, because those are insane depreciating assets, then save up the gap and sell them and go pay those two but things off. So I actually did let them. I did let them take the jet skis.

They went to auction. And what's the difference? Probably about $10,000. Good gosh.

“That's why we don't let things go to auction.”

Are you guys on a budget at all? Um, so I know my paper. No. Pay check. No.

The answer is no. You're just telling me. What's your total debt load? If you had to write a check today and would clear you and your husband back to zero, what would that number be?

What was in the forbearant.

“I'm going to say, so that's the best news I've heard on this phone.”

That is such a manageable problem. If you go crazy, working and selling everything. And you got to get on a budget. Now, we're going to give you every dollar. Okay.

So in a minimum, I'm going to put you on hold and we're going to get you in every dollar free, our gift. You have got to start knowing where every dollar is going. Because right now, to John's point, you're broke. You have no wiggle room at all.

But you guys have got to go make some money. Okay. And 15 grand is a very overcomeable problem. Yeah, I agree. Okay.

I am getting a good amount back on my income taxes.

How much? Um, a little over 10,000. Okay. Great. So $1,000 goes e-mail.

Baby step one. You familiar with the baby steps? Yes. Okay. Baby step one.

$1,000. Done. Then we take 9,000 and put it every penny. That's right. And now we're down to $6,000 of debt.

Which he should be able to clear with three jobs in 30 freaking days. Now with a budget, you just got a raise. You take all that debt and one of my paying minimum per month. We just got that in a raise. Because we are budgeting now.

And I want you to tell him with all the compassion in your heart that Kim and I call out his fatherhood and his husbandry. He needs to get off his butt and go to care of his freaking family today. For the record, since he's going into the army, it was just John that said that. Just John, I'm just over here.

He needs to try and get after he's the serve of your family as much as he's about to go serve this country. Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens. One day someone's healthy, they're working, providing for their family and then a curveball hits. You know, we hear it all the time. A car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and suddenly everything changes.

Yeah.

“And that's why you've always said that having term life insurance from Zander is essential.”

Because it protects your family if the worst happens. Yeah, that's right. You need 10 to 12 times your income in coverage. No gimmicks, no whole life junk. Just straightforward term life protection. But there's another piece that people often overlook and that's long term disability insurance. Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them.

Life insurance steps in when you die. Disability insurance steps in while you're alive, but can't work. Well, it replaces a large part of your income so the bill still get paid while you get back on your feet. Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance, great, take it. If it's a discounted there at a better price, take it.

But if not, Zander can help you find the right plan. Whether you're single or married, it's not optional. If you're going to be out of work for a while, then you need to make sure the money still showing up. And that's why Zander is our go-to. They make it super simple to get the right coverage at the best price.

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Go to zander.com or call 800 356-4282. Protect yourself. Protect your income. Protect your family. All right, let's go to Des Moines.

Iowa, Becca is joining us there. Becca, how can we help? So, my daughter is going on a trip in June for my cousin's daughter's make-a-lish trip. And we were thinking it would be nice to go as a family with myself, my boyfriend, and my two-year-old and just do it all together.

And it would be roughly 5000 at the max for a three-to-go since my daughter is already paid for. Okay. So, I was just wondering if it would be worth it to go or not. We'll tell us the reason that you're asking us. There's another part of the story.

“Why are you questioning whether or not this is an overranger?”

Well, I stay home so I don't have a steady income. We are going to use the money that we got back from our taxes to do it.

So, we don't always just have that money, but we're working on it.

Do you have debt?

How much? And? How much are you getting back from taxes? He's getting 4,000 and I'm getting 4,000, so 8,000 altogether. And then tell me about your daughter?

She's nine.

She would never have been on vacation none of us.

So, this would be, she's going to go with our list if we go. But I just thought it would be nice to go as a family. So, who's make a wish trip, is it? It's my cousin's daughter. She had cancer and is in recovery. So, they're doing that.

Okay. No, you shouldn't go. Okay. I'm watching. The reason I let the awkward silence is because there's a lady out in the lobby who's looking at me like I have no heart.

Like there's a lump of coal in my chest.

“And I appreciate that. And I understand, I think I know where her emotions come from.”

And I think I know where John's emotions come from. And I understand the make a wish thing is that's a really big deal. Maybe I should ask what the severity of the situation is. But I just have a feel from you, the way you're wording all of this, that this isn't as big as maybe it sounds.

And so, in that case, you guys, I hate that you've never gone on a vacation.

You know, but you guys don't have a lot of income. You're not working out. I think for that reason, that tax refund is going to go a long way to get out of that car payment. What's your car payment every month? It's 150 every two weeks.

Yeah. So, 300 a month. Okay. So, what 300 a month mean to your every month income? Um, I do, I use photography on the side, but it's not. So, what I asked you, what would a $300 a month insertion into your monthly budget mean to you guys? Not much.

I don't think. Maybe that should be your water bill and part of your light bill, right? Yeah, that's not the answer I was expecting from someone who told me that, you know, what is your husband's income? He makes this E8 out of here. That's not a lot of money.

And you're not making any money. So, for that reason, I'm taking a hard line. I love that your daughter gets to go with her cousin.

“But do you need to go with the two-year-old to the two and a $5,000 given you guys are broke?”

And if the audience doesn't like it, I just don't think it's a good move. John, disagree with me. I have no problem either. No, this isn't sitting right in your spirit. I want to hear why it's not.

Yeah, that's the other thing.

I just, I'm always worried about money.

Always. Whether we have it or we don't. Because you don't have it. Yeah, your worry is justified. Yeah.

And so, whenever I'm worried or whenever I'm anxious about something, I want to first ask is my body right. And in this case, you and your, is it your boyfriend you said? Yeah. And how many kids do you have? I have two.

We have one together. Okay, how old are they? My daughter's nine and my son is two. Okay.

“Can I be real, real direct with you since we have short time?”

Yeah. You as the living girlfriend are in a very precarious position right now. Especially with no income. And you feel that, right? Yeah.

Okay. Your body's right. And so, if you told me, I have a super stable situation. I have earning potential. I married in a long term marriage and we are anchored in.

And this niece that, I've got cousins that I know really well. I've got cousins that I don't know at all. This niece is like a daughter to me. Then in that situation, I would say, there you go. Just go.

Yeah. I'm not getting that sense. I'm getting a sense of, I am in a very fragile position. As the girlfriend of the chief breadwinner, I don't have a lot. I don't have equal power at the table in my romantic relationship.

I'm taking care of these kids. Our money situation is very, very fragile. And I'm just sick and tired of it. And I'm going to express my sick and tired by not going to get a job, not demanding that, hey, we need to get married.

And we need to make this thing official so that we can both anchor in this thing together. I'm going to take that out by taking the trip.

Yeah.

And you're going to come back from a $5,000 trip exhausted.

Your kids are going to be cooked. They're going to have fun because it's freaking Disney. But you're going to come back. And you're going to have to take an $8,000 of those dollars. And you know, as well as I do, that spending his tax returns

going to come at a cost. You know that. And you're going to come back having spent. Go ahead.

“I think our relationship is pretty good.”

We don't like consider this as my money. And this is your money. All of our money is together. Well, you don't have any number one. And number two, you guys aren't married.

Again, it's a fragile position. Let me put it this way. If he decides he doesn't want to be your boyfriend anymore today, what happens? I don't know. Okay.

Exactly. There we go. So I am heartbroken with you. And I'm siding with Ken on this one. Because I feel like you're about to go spend five grand.

“You don't have because you're just sick and tired of being stuck in a”

position that you have a lot of autonomy to actually change. But that that change is going to disrupt the the right like the rhythm of your relationship. It's going to disrupt the rhythm in your home. It's going to disrupt a lot of stuff.

But on the other side of that disruption is potentially a whole lot of piece. And I want to tell off of that.

Back here's what I would prescribe for you is that you let the sadness

and some anger over not being able to do this trip fuel you. And why don't you guys get married and let's commit. And let's pay this dead off really fast because you can. And let's get $300 extra a month going. And let's keep walking the baby steps out and get an emergency fund.

And let's be patient and wait five years and take both kids to dizzy.

“Because I'm going to taste them right now.”

The little one is how old. Here. Two. Can I tell you something? Take it a two year old to Disney is like hanging out on the seventh level of hell.

It's like setting money on fire. By the way, everybody in the lobby agrees with me. You're going to think you're doing something great. And you're going to go, I wish I had paid the car off and save myself the stress of dragging a two year old around the happiest place on earth.

The irony of that is just rich. So, you know, this is a little bit of let me say no to something that would be good. So I can say yes to the best scenario for my life going forward. And you are really close to being debt-free. Let's get boyfriend into a husband.

Let's get husband a better job. And then we go to Disney and we don't feel it. And that way when you're miserable, you just spend a little bit more money on ice cream and then it all regulates. I know that's not the answer you wanted back.

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Mark, how can we help? Thank you. Thanks for taking the call. I'm honored to tell you guys. You too.

I was late off of my job after nearly 30 years of the same company. I'm not too long ago where I was making about 190k. Now my wife and I have kind of a different point of view of whether I can get another job being whatever I want. Just don't care what it makes or whether I need to make more money. Because the village I'm only 53, and I don't be able to catch our retirement stuff for another six and a half years.

And so we need to figure out what the next steps for us are.

So net worth is 3.5 million.

And we have about 609k and monthly retirement accounts.

“And my life is convinced that I don't need to work and make a bunch of money.”

And I'm kind of the one that worries about this stuff. So I need to figure out if I can do something for some. No matter what it makes or what I need to do if I don't have a job making about 190k or so for the next six years. Okay, a couple of questions. What were you doing? I was looking at a big tech company education tech company. I was doing a user that they signed these experiences in.

Okay, how would you describe yourself as a professional? Use your experience and then you ask, okay. Okay, so next I want to know because you're the guy that's in the weeds on the money. You're the guy that's worried your wife seems to feel really good about it. How much money? Let's forget what we're doing.

How much money if I could just hand it to you? I said, all right, Mark, you're going to make this for as many years as you feel comfortable. How much money would be enough? And I'm talking gross salary. I didn't ask what her view is. I want to hear you. I feel like at this point if I could make 50K a year just enough to cover some of the experiences that it would be okay. Okay, and as she very in tune with what you guys have, you guys do the numbers together.

She's not just saying this from some emotional point of view. Yeah, she's very in tune. Well, as she writers, she's wrong. Well, history will tell you that she generally write on these kind of things.

Well, no, wait a second. Is that, is that, is that husband code?

“Because that's what we're all supposed to say or is that a fact?”

She really does have a good grasp of the numbers. All right, I'm going to actually bring in my colleague here because after my quick little line of questioning, and your validation of your wife's a knowledge of your financial situation, and B, she's got a good track record of given good financial advice. John, I think this is a lot of fear.

Yeah, okay, so give me something you are anxious about that has nothing to do with money. Okay, keep going. Give me two more. Um, I'm a health long term. I'm going to get health right now. Okay. Give me another thing. Okay, so this is the pot recognizing the kettle here, okay?

So I'm talking to you, forget like there's millions of people listening to us. Just, it's you and me sitting down having nachos, okay? Almost every time somebody approaches me with a desperate, either or decision. That is a sign that they struggle with anxiety and other places in their life. You have boxed yourself into a, do something for fun, where I just don't make anything,

and we all starve to death because the apocalypse is going to come hit us at any time.

Never mind the fact that I'm a multi, multi millionaire that my health is good.

That my wife loves me enough to stay connected to me and to challenge me. You want to appropriate. I am going to forecast a future potential problem. I'm going to drag it into the present and not even try to solve it. I'm going to worry about it, right?

Or the other solution you've given yourself is I need to go find something that I don't love. I don't care about that's going to drive me crazy, but I'm going to make a 190 grand. And you've boxed yourself into an either or, and you've spent most of your day toggling back and forth, that toggling the nerdward is rumination. You're just spinning up stories and trying to solve them and tell yourself why you can or can't,

why you shouldn't, and why you shouldn't, and rumination never solves anything. It just makes us feel like we're exerting energy to solve a, towards a problem.

And so what I want you to challenge you on is this.

“Hey, I'm going to send you a copy of building a non-exist life, okay?”

And this is the assumption that what if your anxiety's right? What if the things you worry about is right? And let me make, like, be super clear. All of the money could go away. It could.

You have set your family up in a position that you are hedged against that happening better than almost anybody kin and I will talk to you in the next two months. You're a multi-millionaire in your early 50s. Your health is really dang good. You take care of yourself. You're a good steward of your body. Could you have a heart attack tomorrow? Yep.

But you've done the work to put yourself in a position where that's statistically unlikely. And I can keep going on and on, but I'm going to give you that book because I want you to work through it.

The second thing I want you to do is I want you to reverse engineer.

The day you quote unquote retire. What do you want that day to feel like? I mean, I just want it to be confident and release, relax you. Okay, that is not going to be found in a data point because you have data points and they're not solving that problem for you. It's going to be solved in a life built well on the way.

And it's going to be built with you going towards something.

“Why wouldn't why why not consider doing something that you love and it makes 80 grand, 110 grand?”

Okay. How many months have you been laid off? Well, just over five. Okay. So getting paid through June basically.

It's what I was wondering. So I'm going to throw something out.

I actually want John's opinion on this.

I was not talking about this before. Yeah, I would love for you to try your wife's plan for three months. So when June when that last severance check caches, whatever that next month is. So you don't have any income. So maybe it's July.

Who knows? But I want you to go three months without any income. Who? Three months. I know.

And John may disagree with it. Let me play this out. Your wife is tuned in. Go 60 days. I don't care.

It's not a magical formula.

I'm dropping here.

“But go enough time where you're, where you're able to actually see what life is like with your wife's suggestion.”

And do everything that John said. But force yourself to go. I'm going to take at least three months or two months. And I'm not going to have any income. And let's just see how we do.

And I'm going to add this life. I'm going to add another thing to it. I want you to spend those two months. Because here's the other thing I think you're missing. I'm kidding. I've talked about this at length over the over the years getting laid off.

Your body experiences that as a death. That's right. The loss, the grief attached to that loss is significant. Because somebody somewhere in a room said, "I don't want you or need you here anymore."

And that hurts, man. Right? Yeah. And it's existential. Who am I without this title?

Who am I when I'm not this job? But I'm not in this role. Who am I going to be now? And is this going to cut this happen again? The answer is yes.

And you start spinning up stories and you get stuck. So in addition to pressure testing is my wife right. Also, I want you to begin to fill your day up with things that bring you purpose. Who are you going to help? So that's you, not just sitting at home, scanning the internet, watching news or scrolling on your phone.

That is you committing to I'm going to volunteer for three different organizations in my community. I'm going to take a class to get this other certification. You know what? I hate coding. I hate it.

I'm going to say it out loud. I hate coding. I'm going to go fill in the blank and begin finding, doing, not thinking about doing things. Action or emotions, often follow action. Go do some things that bring you value and bring you purpose.

And man, you're going to come out of this on the other side with a clear path to move forward. [ Music ] [ Music ]

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That's YREFI.com/Ramsy. It may not be available in all states. All right, today's question comes from Chase in Indiana. Man, this starts out. He doesn't mess around.

I don't want to do it, but I'm about to divorce my wife due to financial infertility. We have amazing kids, and she is my rock, but she has a major spending problem. This is the second time she has gone into debt and kept me in the dark until the creditors come calling. I'm devastated and want to take the easy way out, but even if we get separated, she would still need financial help.

I am 45 and she is 48. Can you give me, sorry, brother?

“Can you give me some guidance on how to help her re-engineer her mind about money and finance?”

So she can be the amazing wife. I know she can be her boy. Except it's not about her mind. Yeah, you, man. What do you think, Ken?

Well, this is your lane. Yeah. You've got a lot of time. I'm just playing one on TV at the moment. You've got a lot of wisdom.

I'm going to say, with everything in my being, fight the urge to divorce her. I would just fight until there is absolutely no way you can fight. I don't think divorce is the answer. I think she's got some deep emotional problems. And I think she needs some therapy.

She needs her husband to sit with her and all of that. So I would tell him financial and fidelity. I get it. But with the kids, I've read too much about divorce. I know enough to get me in trouble.

And I know enough to say that it's just never an option until it's the only option.

Yeah. And Chase, I mean, this is, this is rocked your world and totally understand. You're looking at two husbands right here.

“If this happened a second time, I mean, it's devastating, right?”

But I want you to begin to be very honest. She is not your rock. And when you keep saying she's this and she's this, but also this, it becomes destabilizing in your own mind. So I want you to be honest about, I don't trust my wife. And my wife has not shown that she is willing to delay gratification to deal with some of the demons that are haunting her that she's choosing to try to keep it bay with spending or with hiding or with secrets or whatever.

And so we're going to be very honest about our place in this marriage. We're going to choose reality when it comes to our marriage. What is the state of things?

The state of things is if we're really, really on almost never is somebody,

quote unquote, a rock in every facet except they just go into crippling debt creditors called and they hide it from us and they lie about it. That's almost never the case. Very, very rarely. Occasionally it is, but almost never this. So we're going to be honest about the state of things.

And you're going to sit down with her and you're going to give her a road map to what reestablishing trust would look like. And you're going to be honest about your, the precariousness of your situation and so for a season. I would and can push back on this. I would say, I am going to open a checking account that is just for us and the kids. I am going to ask you to freeze your credit account and give me the code to it so that you cannot borrow money.

“Um, I am going to ask that because this is the only way I'm going to feel safe for the next 30, 60, 90 days and then we're going to revisit it.”

And I'm going to ask that you go see somebody because you clearly are struggling with things way under the surface. And like this isn't about reengineering her mind about money and finance. This is that is just the, that's the blinking red light over the problem.

The problem is much deeper and we're going to get to the root of where else is she not being fully honest with you.

Where else is she not allowing herself to be seen and known where else are you not a safe place for her to land. And so she feels like she has to kind of work around you because you have your own opinions and your own judgments, etc. We're going to peel this thing all the way back to the bedrock here. And we're going to be honest about the state of our marriage and then we're going to choose. And both of you have to be in on this.

We're going to rebuild this thing brick by brick to this thing that we want it to be. And the beauty of it is if you all have both chosen or one of you all has chosen to blow the thing up. You both can choose to rebuild it. It's the same choice just on the different side of the ledger here. But this is if you try to solve this with financial with numbers with spending habits.

That's not the issue here yet. You'll get there, but that's not the problem here.

Yeah. Appreciate the question man. We're rooting for you. Cool. Let's go now back to the phones.

Andrew is joining us in Jackson Mississippi. Andrew, how can we help? Hey, how's it going?

Going. Basically, got some card and got some student loan debt.

Unex not really unexpected. Baby on the way, but we just got pregnant a lot sooner than I expected. And just curious if I sell a truck that I have get a beater and start pouring it into the student loan debt or just pay off the truck because it's newer. When's the baby debt? Baby is due. So we're 12 weeks, baby's due, around end of September.

“Okay, end of September, how much debt do you have walkers through the debt?”

Um, 50 grand in car loan, 100 grand in student loan, and then we have our house. Okay, so we'll take the house off the table right now. Are you familiar with our baby steps? Someone. Okay.

So the 50 grand in the car. What's the car? What is it? It's a truck and what's it worth if you were to private sell today? Probably 60. Yes. Yes, we sell that truck immediately.

You sell it yesterday. You immediately.

Even if I can pay it off in two more months.

Yeah, what do you make? Two more months. Whoa, you're buried the lead. What do you make? Um, so we pulling about 220 after taxes.

Okay, well that would have been nice to know. Yeah, lead with that next time. Hey, we're rich and we're having a baby and I'm terrified. Lead with that next time. Yeah.

Yeah, path to truck in two months. Yeah. Okay. And then that leaves the 100k in student loans. Is that right?

That's right. Yeah, that one's going to take longer. And so, you know, we, we tell people it's okay to pause a baby step two, which is paying off debt. Smallest to largest to save up money.

You know, we're going to get stocked mode, right? We stock cash just to make sure. And then by the way, what we're doing here is we want to look at water deductible is. Right? And we want to make sure we got plenty of cash that we don't have any surprises.

“And then we plan as well as we can for baby, right?”

And then once babies here, then it's that massive income knocking off the student loan. All right? So that's based on to income reduces after baby. Because my wife is, you know, she'll get her her little bit for baby leave. And she says she'll start working again after X final months.

The way you just said that is suggests you will not. Yeah, you don't believe her. No, you're going to stay home with baby and she's going to be like, yeah, I'm good. How much are you on your house? 250.

Okay. So what, if she leaves the workforce for good, what's that going to reduce your household income? It's going to go down to about 185. Yeah, what needs to happen for you to make more money. I'm actually working on getting a raise.

So that's what that would work. What would that take you to? It could take us back up to what we're looking for. All right.

So the answer is, you don't have to sell the truck.

But what worries me is that you get off this call and then you talk yourself into keeping the truck. So part of me wants to go sell it.

“Take your medicine and buy a $10,000 truck.”

You know, I want to sell it. But the wife is like, it's a good truck. It's newer. It's got a great warranty. She's the one.

What do you think? I'm like, I don't care. Here's the she's right and you're right. Okay. So the the bigger issue to me is you'll make 220 after taxes.

You'll have nine months. Yes. Could you in your your house payment? Only two, a $250,000 house. Uh, yeah.

Okay. Maybe, yeah. It's not living in it for about a year. This is going to sound crazy. This is going to sound nuts.

Is there any possible way y'all could squeeze out and just live on a hundred grand this year, since you have no other expenses? Absolutely. Of course you could. You could live off 75.

If y'all will just suck it up for one calendar year, you will pay off your student loans and the dumb truck. And for that reason, I'd sell the truck. I would say by a $10,000 truck and you're going to save all this cash that you would be putting towards the 50,000.

I want us to hold that cash. You put it to the loan. By the, yeah, pair student loans off. Yeah. And tell your wife, hey, babe, appreciate it.

Love you. But I don't need to drive this truck. That's what I would do. And then save up and buy a truck after the baby's born. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fair Wins Credit Union studio.

Thrill that you're with us.

The phone number is triple eight, eight, two, five, two, five. Kate is up now in Oklahoma City. Kate, how can we help? Hi, guys. I would have liked to know how I should go about a conversation with my dad asking him to

get another job because he's been asking me my brother for money for like bills and groceries. What? How long has this been going on? About years.

I mean, how old is he? He is 62. Okay. And is he on his own? No.

My mom is so around. She was a caretaker from the grandma. She recently passed away. So she is unemployed right now. Okay.

“And how much money are we talking about in how many years?”

Well, let me ask, I'm sorry.

Let me ask it differently. On the average ask, how much money is he asking you and your brother for at a time? Um, it really varies anywhere from like 20 bucks to a couple thousand. Okay. I just am trying to get a range for, you know, how big of a problem he's got going on.

And you said years? How many years? Yeah. So we had a family business for a long time. And we would work.

I've been working since I was like nine. Bill. Kind of since then. About ten years. He's been asking you and your brother for money for ten years to help pay his bills.

Yeah. And you've been given it to him the entire time. Yes. All right. That.

All right. I got to bring in the good doctor here. I mean, I said the table and now you get to clean it. Wow. We got some deep seated issues going on here.

Yeah. You, you, you asked for two things and you can only control one of them. Okay. Okay.

“And so the only thing you can control here is is.”

No. Thank you. Or thanks for asking. I'm not in a position to give right now. Or if you want to be.

If you're ready to draw forever boundary. I'm not going to be able to give you. Or I'm going to choose not to give you money anymore. And the more honest you can be there, the better. Do you still work in the family business with him?

No. And we had to sell it. You can't recommend he get a new job because he doesn't think he needs one. Because he doesn't. He has two kids that he's been leaching off of for years.

He's going to have to come to that on his own. And. Yeah. I just want to tell you. I'm.

I'm. As a dad of a daughter sitting next to another dad of of another daughter. I want to tell you. I'm sorry because no dad should put his daughter in this position. Yeah.

Thank you. You've been carrying him for a long time.

And that was never your job.

“What's going to happen when you do what John tells you to do?”

How's dad going to react? I can tell he's going to react like a child, right? Yeah. I don't know exactly. He definitely asked more from my brother.

But. Is your brother fed up with this too? He's definitely more than we need on it. He kind of like well on the daddy money. So I'm going to get it.

And see John that's another dynamic because we're given Kate this advice. Kate's calling us. Yeah. But if brother's going to continue to help. This is never going to get any better.

So even more so Kate. Do you do what John tells you? You're going to be isolated even more. Yeah. And the reason I'm bringing that up with John next to me is because I think you

need to be prepared for dad. You said you don't know what he's going to do. He's not going to react in a good way. And now he's going to put more pressure on your brother and brother may come to you and go, what are you doing?

I guess John, I wanted to be prepared for the worst case scenario so that we protect Kate. I mean, I think Kate's going to have to make some choices about. Do you have community? Do you have people you can count on?

Do you have someone you can talk to? Because this is going to be an isolating rocky storm to weather. I'm actually moving out in April. Good. And the faster you can establish yourself on your own two feet.

Somewhere else where you've got some more autonomy. Then this will definitely reduce. Okay. But it will be incredibly uncomfortable this heartening heartbreaking. And so I'll say it this way.

If it takes you giving him money to preserve the relationship. The relationship you want to be there does not exist. Yeah. It's a predatory relationship. You owe me.

I think I keep giving the money because I.

And you're still bad. They don't have money for bills and I don't want them to. That's right. Okay. I want to walk you through something that I learned from my buddy Becky Kennedy.

She's a psychologist in New York. Okay. Um.

“I would have told you in the past like you're feeling guilty, right?”

And she changed the way I think about guilt. She said guilt is a good feeling that your body experiences when you violate your own values. Right? Guilt is not the feeling you get when you do something that is in alignment with your values. In somebody else's uncomfortable or mad or pissed off at what you just did.

And you try to grab their feelings and manage them for them. And so is it a violation of your values to take care of yourself to make sure you're on your own two feet? And to stop funding your dad's behavior? Yeah. No.

I definitely need to. I'm definitely ready to move out. Okay. So when he comes at you full storm, when your brother comes at you full storm, make a commitment to yourself. By the way, you don't just declare this like Michael Scott like I declare a bankrupt.

This is hard and it's painful and it takes years. Okay. But make the commitment to yourself.

“I am not going to try to manage y'all's anger, your frustration, your demands, your coercion.”

I'm not going to try to manage that. I'm going to be in control of me. And I'm going to be compassionate, respectful, honorable.

I'm going to always tell the truth.

I'm going to be a person of integrity. And I'm going to do what I can do. And at this season, I don't have that kind of money to continue to support you in that way. Okay. Okay.

And that's hard and it's like kids right, man. That is painful, painful. Where's mom at? Yeah. Where's she?

So my mom. So I'm actually moving in the job I have now. She's going to take it over. But it's not going to be for a month. Okay.

What is she going to make? Um, 20 of after taxes is going to be about 600 weeks. Okay. And as a mom, it wears a mom at with the way dad is putting the pressure on you and your brother. As mom, just the silent.

Who just lets him do whatever. I mean, what's the deal? She, um, she definitely feels really bad about it. She, um, she tries to be a lot about it because it's going to really test position. I know she is.

And because we have just limited time. I'm digging here, John.

“What can she do to encourage mom to try to step in here?”

I, I, again, I don't know that she can get mom to do anything. I agree. She can say, hey, mom, I just want to let you know. Um, as I'm moving out here, I need to establish my finances, my emergency funding to pay off my debts that I have. And I need to establish myself.

And so I am not going to continue to give you all money for the next season. And I know that's going to make dad mad.

You and I have talked and I know this whole thing has always made you uncomfortable.

Anyway, I just want you to know I'm going to have this conversation with dad when he calls. And maybe your mom will say, bless you for having the strength that I wasn't able to exert over the years. Because I've been in this other pressure cooker or maybe she'll get mad at you two who knows who knows. But I would have that level of candor and that level of directness and make it as short as possible. When people hear my story of paying off debt, they say things like, "Denning that must have been so hard.

I can never do that." And I tell them, sure you can. It's a short term sacrifice for a long term gain. But do you know what's really hard working your whole life and never having anything to show for it? Never having the long term gain.

Just feeling broke, stressed, and maxed all the time. And sadly, that's the hard that most people choose. Listen, you're capable of transforming your situation and living a life of freedom. But you need the right tools to do it. Like our every dollar budget app.

In minutes, it'll build you a step-by-step plan that's tailored to your money situation. And every day, it finds ways you can free up extra money in your budget, so you can get rid of your debt and actually build wealth. So make the choice today. Short term sacrifice, long term gain.

Choose the tool to help you get it done fast. Download the every dollar app and start for free today. All right, so we get a lot of questions. A lot of calls where we're inevitably saying you need more income, right?

But most of the time, if you're struggling, it's not just your expenses. It is also your income.

And the reality is that we've had a very popular article.

It's called 14 Best Work From Home Jobs. You can apply for today.

“And this is all about increasing your income, right?”

I need more. I'm in gazelle intensity and I got to bring some more money in. And again, I'm not going to read this word for word. You can click the link in the show notes to get this. But you're looking at things like virtual assistant is on the list, right?

A tutor, customer service. Where, again, I'm working at home, which means you can wear those sweats. You know, hey, and you got a laptop, whatever graphic design, accounting book, teaching, video editing, things of that nature. That's just a few of the list.

And again, go to the show notes and get it. This is a very popular article at ramsysolutions.com. 14 Best Work From Home Jobs. You can apply for today. So the point is that where there's a will, there's a way.

And we're actually giving you a list of some very specific things to do. You're looking at that don't require a lot of ramp up time, but can provide real money. So that you can get out of debt. So go check it out link in the show notes. Josh is up next and Jackson, Mississippi.

Josh, how can we help? Hey, man. I was just wondering, I'm getting married at a month. And I'm just thinking. I'm super excited about it.

Really excited to not have to pay for this letter anymore.

And just basically me, my fiance, we have what you all would call bad debt.

About $12,000 in credit cards. Most of that went towards paying for the wedding. And then we mostly cash flowed it. I don't have a card out. My fiance has $20,000 left on her car.

And completed babysit once. So far, we're just trying to figure out a having navigate. The marriage finances in just overall building, you know, something with that. And then my fiance wants to move like we want to move to Alabama. And she wants to open a nutrition team business.

A nutrition what? T. Like a safety. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. I think it's a horrible idea. And let me explain. Not necessarily the business prospect. So I'm have a little bit of fun.

I want to do a little misdirection. It's not that the her business idea. I don't know anything about fitness tea. Okay. What I am saying is a bad idea is for us to get married.

And we're going to start a business when we're trying to start a life. I got some red flags. Now, if you can give me some facts as to why it might be a great idea.

“I think it's not a good idea for other reasons.”

But go ahead. No. Okay. Hold on. I want to get John's take.

Why is it a give me your take on why it's a bad idea. Here's why. Brother, you are painting a picture of two people in a month who are about to join. It's about to anchor into into concrete together and say till death does us part. And y'all are not aligned on how y'all spend money.

How y'all earn money. The commitment it takes when she's trying to get a business off the ground. How you're going to carry the load at home. This is going to be a ninety ten marriage for a while. And that's awesome in seasons when y'all are both in on that.

And how y'all are going to come out. Y'all have to get your values aligned ASAP. Just by the way, what I what I was saying. You're trying to start a life. And the first year marriage is the hardest year in my opinion because you're taking two individual

lives, environments that you're bringing in. And John said it way better than me. I'm in complete agreement. But that's why this is a bad idea. Not her actual business idea.

So here's what this looks like in real time brother.

This is y'all sitting down and saying as a married couple. How do we value work?

“How do we like what are our values around how we're going to spend money?”

How we're going to save money is one of y'all's core values together. We will never be owned by a bank by a car dealership by a government entity when it comes to debt. Cool. We're going to we're going to anchor into that one. And that's going to decide how quickly y'all pay off your debts.

That's going to decide how quick how small your wedding is relative to how big y'all actually wanted it to be. It's going to decide.

We're not going to start it with an SBA loan and put that on top of the car payments on top of the student loans.

Top of the credit cards. Just as we're getting out of our marriage. You get what I'm saying. Yeah. And we had a conversation about that.

She has friends that have opened these businesses before and they all've taken SBA loans and, you know, I really can't have a hard conversation about it. I told her that we would need to say it was even a possibility to cash flow that business. There's no point. Yes. But down the line.

Yeah. She needs to hear from you as I think this is a fun thing. But let's let's as we're engaged. And I want John to add to this or edit what I'm about to say. But the way I would approach is because I'm in no way saying that you say to her what I said to you.

Okay. I want to be clear.

“But I do think you have to say I think we should discuss big things in our marriage that we think are down the line.”

Letter throw out some things.

Kids. Or we want to live part time in Costa Rica for one year. However, these big fun things are that I think is great for engaged couples to talk to her. But if we could get that to that list of that's down the line and in trying to encourage her that I don't know that's the best move. We're about to get mayor.

We're going to move somewhere else, John. And so I want to set him up for a win here because I don't want her to hear no. I rather hear here. I don't think that this is the best time. So I'm not yet.

And it's just the way you get around it is not get around it. But the way you go right through it is let's talk first principles first. Who are we are we going to be a couple of the borrowers money? And that's when you tell her I don't feel safe when I when I owe somebody money. And I'm uncomfortable.

And she might say, let me tell you the truth in my house. Like this may be a shocker for Ramsey fans. A mortgage keeps I can't sleep if I if I owe somebody money. It drives me insane literally I've tracked my sleep it makes me crazy. You sure it's not the gummy bear.

It's that too. It but my wife. Dude a mortgage doesn't bother her at all. Not even a little bit. But on this issue it's such a big deal to me that she says I love him more than I love my little pet project or that I love my little whatever.

And so I'm all in with him but let's make a plan. Give what I'm saying and she is into gardening.

She's got these big elaborate amazing gardens.

I'm not I'm not a I'm not a gardener. But I love the fact that she loves this stuff so much. And so I'm like hey how can we make this thing happen? How can I support you? How can I go build fencing for you?

“And so that's what I'm talking about go to first principles.”

Who are we going to be when it comes to sex? Who is it who are we going to be when it comes to money? When we have a discussion debate, a disagreement on how many kids we want to have. How who are we going to be in that disagreement? You know what I'm saying?

Mm hmm. And that's my fear for you guys is. Has she ever run a business before? Uh, no. Okay.

Has she ever hired employees? Has she ever navigated building leases? Okay. That is an extraordinary amount of pressure to drop on a brand new marriage that's already under water financially. By the way, she's going to work.

She's going to work for somebody that's in that space and get a free education on how to run a business like that. She has. Okay. Well, then take notes. The person who is, you know, sponsoring her could get.

“You have to get sponsored to this company.”

Could you have it? Yeah. Is it a pyramid? Oh, it sounds like a pyramid. Yeah.

It kind of does. Yeah. I, I think we have a, hopefully given you the lie and the hell here. I can't say it. I want to reiterate what he said because it's, it's very wise.

If you go at her and you say, we're not doing this business. This is dumb. We shouldn't boom. World War Three. Because you're all going to be fighting proxy wars.

And you're not going to deal with the real issues. The real issues are you using eye statements. I feel I'm scared of. I'm uncomfortable with. Will you join me in this discomfort?

That's how you move forward. Not with you statements, but with eye statements. Hey, guys. Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show, we help people work through real money problems.

And figure out what to do next. Now, you can get that same kind of help. Anytime with Ask Ramsey. Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey principles. We use on the show whether you're making a decision or just want something explained.

It's fast, simple, and free to use. Go to RamseySolutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's RamseySolutions.com. [Music] All right.

This is always fun when we get a baby steps million air

who calls in to share their story. And right now, we've got Amy, who's on the line in Indianapolis. Amy, congratulations on being a baby step millionaire. Oh, thanks, John, and Ken, I appreciate that. Well, let's get the numbers here.

What is your net worth? 1.6. 1.6, that's not shabby. Give us the mix. I'm like about 900,000 in the mutual funds.

About 100,000 in IRA. About 500,000 in my house. No. A couple of cars and some money in the bank. I love that.

“Did you use an investment pro to help you on this journey?”

You know, actually, I did not. Well, I kind of did. I had a friend who was really, really good with money. So he kind of guided me. But now that I'm actually there, my house is paid off.

I intend to go that route in future. That's fantastic. No more wealth. Now, I don't normally ask a lady her age, but this is part of the story. So if you'll forgive me, how old are you?

Around 26. Well, that's I'm out here, right? That's double nickels. A 55. I've not heard that before, but I'm quick.

I am quick over here. Okay, 55, all right. And give us a range of your income. The lowest income you've ever made. And then give us the most amount of income.

The lowest was 12.5. And that was 38 years ago. And I doubled that salary the first year on commission. That's nice. You can do the map there.

And then my top salary is 114. So not bad, but not not huge. What do you do? I am a systems trainer for an insurance company. Nice.

“And have you been an insurance that your entire career?”

Or is it something you moved into later? Okay. Gotcha. 38 years. Did you get a degree?

College degree? You know, I did get a degree. However, I didn't do it until I was 44. Wow. Worked decided.

I decided that I wanted it for me. Worked so they paid for as long as I maintain the certain GPA. So I did it for me. It did not increase my salary. It didn't change my job.

I just did it because I didn't do it when I was younger. And I felt like not that you have to have a degree. But for me, I didn't do well on high school.

And I always thought I was a little not there in the brain.

So I thought, you know what? I'm going to just try it for myself. Just to prove to myself that I can do it. Me. And I did it.

Amy, just described how I feel on a regular basis. I said to myself, I don't think I'm there in the brain. Yeah. It happens to me on a regular basis. That's what I would grab too much.

That's so long because I was trying to prove to my high school self. Like, yeah, I'm with you. I'm tracking. I'm proud of you. That's awesome.

Good for you. Okay. Let's talk about when it clicked for you. When did it click for you that A you should make this pursuit?

“And what was the key to getting where you are today?”

Two-part question. All right. One was, I remember this very clearly. I was 29 years old about my first house. I had that, didn't make much, a lot of money.

I made enough to buy the house. But, you know, therefore. And I thought, you know what? I am paying all this money on these credit cards. And it's dumb.

So I said, never know more.

So I created a plan. It really happened to me to Dave Ramsey plan. I just didn't know Dave Ramsey at the time. Right. But I put all my credit cards on the spreadsheet.

And some other whatever system I would use Dave Ramsey today. And, you know, they told me pretty much just plan. So I did it. Got out of that and said never ever again. Wow.

So what is the key to, I imagine there are a lot of young ladies listening to this. And maybe they're early in their career not making a ton of money. What would you say to them if you could have coffee with them to get to where you are today? What do they need to do? You gotta be smart with your money.

For me was I had to have goals. I planned them out and I had to stick to them. I couldn't buy the computers. You know, I couldn't buy the things that made you feel better. Because I looked at the spreadsheet and went, yes.

And then when I went to pay my house off the current house. I have now I put a pad of paper on my refrigerator and I had the balance. And every time I made a statement and an extra payment I wrote it on there. So every day when I opened my refrigerator, I was like, I'm that much closer. Wow.

And then I just did it. I love it. And you mentioned car or did I hear you say cars? Earlier. I have two cars.

Tell us about those. You millionaire.

I got a 19th Subaru and a 2007 Chevy Silverado.

Oh, no. See. That's what I want. Oh, milk and granola. That's awesome.

Yeah. Exactly. I love it. I love it. I love it.

Well, this was a Chevy Silverado new. Okay. That was probably down. But I did. And the Subaru with a company car.

“When they got rid of my company car, I said, I kind of liked this car.”

So I just paid cash for it. Yeah. 2019. So it's a great car. Yeah.

It's a fantastic car. Well, we really, really appreciate you, Amy.

This is, it's always fun for us to hear from baby steps a millionaires.

You've done it. You gave some great advice. So thanks for being with us. Love that. Let's go to Edgar who's in our backyard of Nashville, Tennessee.

Edgar, how can we help? Yeah. What's going on, you guys? What's up? How are we doing?

Just trying to help America and earn your up next. All right. Well, it's the, it's, thank you guys for having me. Sure. I was looking to see if you guys have any advice on what I should do right now with,

find my financial situation that I've got going on and everything. All right. Set us up. What's going on? All right.

I work as a, as a janitor and elementary school. And I work at a McDonald's as well. I get paid $14 an hour weekly at the elementary school. And I get paid 13 exactly at the McDonald's, but it's bi weekly pay. So I make about $16, $1700 a month.

I have $900 left in that I took out a payday advance. And I, I owe $350 on that. And I owe my mom about $550. And then I'm trying to know what I should do because I got a really good job offered to boost my annual income from $12,000 to $80 to $100,000.

Okay. Why are we talking about that? Yeah, do that job. What's the status of that? It's, I'd be helping people like, I'd be helping people set up money for retirement accounts

and investing and everything. No, no, no, I appreciate that. But what is the status of taking that job and starting that job? Oh, I have to pay about $400 for the, I have to pay $200 to finish getting my license and then I have to pay the classes and everything.

So I'll be fine in $400. Well, is it, is this 80 to 100,000? Is this like, we're going to give you the leads. So there's going to be somebody who promotes it and then there's going to be me who will

“take the call and I'll be like, if you want to put $500 a month in here, I'll set you up”

for that right now. Okay. All right. Hold on. Yeah.

I thought you were talking about, you were going to get into a money management to where it's actual real like a smart investor pro.

But they kind of see you your first year or two until you bring in the account.

What I'm hearing sounds really shady. Yeah, it's a marketing thing. Don't do this. Don't do that. So let's talk about how we bring, huh?

No. You're going to find yourself out of the whole bunch of money for this coursework. You're going to keep having to pay courses. You're not going to get the clients that you think you're going to do. No, it's going to say yes to this because John and I sniffed Sketch on this in one sentence

when you described the work. So no one's going to buy that from you. We have limited time with you. Number one, you need to be on every dollar and you don't have any money. So I'm going to give you every dollar because you need to begin with just a little bit

amount of money you've got. You need to get a budget. Now the good news is you're almost out of debt. Okay.

“But you need to be working a much better paying job.”

How old are you? I just changed 20 recently. Okay. Great news. Awesome, man.

You go work at a big box store. Home Depot. A Walmart like let's go find something that's in that 20 dollar an hour range. Maybe he's got some benefits. I don't care if you're working at a coffee shop that pays well.

You got to get on your feet and you have the good news is a very little debt. But the bad news is you have no money either and I'm not sure you know how to manage money. So what I want you to do is hold on the line and let's get you in every dollar. This is way more than a budget and it's like having John and I in your phone. Coaching. It's got coaching in there. It's not just getting you started on a budget.

What you need to do. And I also want to give you total money makeovers. You can see the long-term picture of how the baby steps play out for a young man like you to where you're a multi millionaire. And you're not a scam.

And you're not afraid of hard work, which I love. You just got to have the right plan.

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And our quote of the day from Innery Forward, thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it. By the way, I want to point out that that's a great example of back in the day.

You could insult somebody and they never even knew it.

And that's one of those things, right? You can see Henry Ford. He was throwing some sarcasm out, but you read it in today's context. And it sounds like this deep quote when he's really saying this is, they're a bunch of more runs out there because nobody knows how to think. But now all of our leaders talk like elementary school kids and they're like, "You're dumb, you're dumb!" And you don't have elevated.

Elevated dialogue leads to some benefits and one is insulting somebody right to their face and they have no idea what you've just done. It's really fun. That's a bit too. That is, I like it. Will is up in Toronto, Ontario. Will, how can we help you?

I have it gone. Good. What's going on today? I have Christian Valley's question related to lending money at Interiff's. So personally, I have a fair bit of money in private lending. I'm lending out. And I felt really good about it until recently.

Actually this morning, it took a bit of it. I was reading the field, chopped your 18, which appears to state that lending out at Interiff's, especially to a brother in the face, is out of Balmonation to God.

“And there was just one thing, is there something on this understanding?”

Or should we as Christians not be lending out at Interiff's time? Read that verse one more time. It's slower so that I can hear. I want to make sure I heard it correctly. Sure. There's this kind of group of fibers that you'd like me to read.

No, no, no, no. Sorry. We don't need a Bible study. I want to make sure I heard what you said. Did you say that there's a scripture verse or multiple times in Ezekiel? It says to lend money to a Christian brother is an abomination. Did I hear that right?

Essentially, yeah. Well, if you take the Bible as the literal word of God, and I think you probably do, then you don't need my opinion on it. I think there was not a lot of air in that sense. If it's an abomination, again, I'm not a theologian.

And I'm also not going to ever publicly interpret scripture. But you know, Dave quotes scripture all the time with the borrowers slate. The borrowers is slave to the lender. You've got a pretty strong statement in Ezekiel about an abomination. So what do you think?

Well, and Steve, that's the thing is I have my opinions, which I can read out. There's some nuances to it. I was more curious if you guys had ever imposed that question before. I've served up to Ramsey in relation to this question.

“I can't see him saying I think publicly on it.”

I can't see anyone saying publicly on it. Well, actually, I would just address that. Yeah, Dave speaks to it. We all do. And here's the deal. I don't loan money to friends.

Yeah, we always tell people never to do it.

But do you frame it? So I want to go back. You framed it. You said as a Christian, and you're coming at us with that.

And you cited scripture. Yeah. And so this is one of the situations where you answered your own question in my opinion. That's what I'm getting at.

Like, you said as a Christian, what should I do? And you said, well, here's what scripture says. So I think you answered your own question. So your opinion is not what you asked.

But to John's point,

we always tell people never learned any money to anybody.

“Yeah, if you want to help your friends out,”

help them out. You're going to help your family out, help them out. Okay. I was wondering, I'm a Christian from a Christian and values perspective.

Should a Christian mind money, let's say he doesn't know the man, let's say he doesn't know the woman,

And if you guys have never looked into this,

that's really fine. No, no, I'm just curious. You have. You don't have us on a technicality. So I'll say this one more time.

Oh. The scripture says the borrower is slave to the lender. And then as he kills, the Christian context between Christians. But then there's the other thing which is

should you ever put someone at your service? Put them in financial slavery. I think we all know the answer to that.

“But we also know that I think you think it's okay.”

And I do know this about humans. They're going to do what they want to do. But you called us. And you answered your own question on the first one in Johnny answered your caveat.

So thanks for listening. Josh is up next. Harrisburg is where he is. Josh, how can we help? Hi.

I just have a question about like a job change kind of situation that I've got to go on. You called the best guy in America. Kim Coleman to answer that question. When I heard him on the show, I was like, man, that's perfect.

Well, geez, the pressure right now is unbearable. But I'll do it. I can't. What's going on? So I currently work as a mechanic at a local shop.

The money's not bad. The people I work for are absolutely fantastic. And it's a guaranteed job. How much money will my situation? What do you make?

They pay me 22 an hour. Okay, 22 an hour. And we like the people. What's the other one? So my other one.

I have two other options. There's another local shop. That is offering 25 an hour. But it would be less hours per week. My currently work 50.

They work for you.

“And then my third one is in the maintenance department of a big corporation.”

Where they would start at 22 and then after about three months move to upwards of 27. Okay, which way are you leaning? And let's let's so we're on the same page. One is number one is where you are 22 an hour. And you really like the people.

Two is 25 an hour. But less hours. Three is big corporate with more money. Which one are you leaning to before you called? The bigger place just because room for advancement together.

The second local shop that is offering me this job.

Like I feel like I'm being the same situation I am now where there's not a lot of room for advancement. And I'm going to plateau. Number three with an asterisk is my vote. I want John to weigh into. Number three with the asterisk for me is I want to do some homework.

I want to see what customer reviews are of this place. And since it's big corporate they'll be online. I want to ask around who has worked there. Do I know anybody that's ever had their job? I mean, their car service there. How do they treat customers?

Because how they treat their customers is how they're going to treat the people that work for them. So let's just make sure that it's not this awful environment. And if it's not an awful environment and they treat people with a modicum of respect and they got a good reputation. Yeah, I go 27 an hour with room to grow. That would be for me.

I want to bring John in too though. I have a unhealthy built-in bias, which is I want to add value to a smaller company that I trust. Let me put it this way. Let me take I have a bias against people running to corporate because it feels safe especially initially. It also is getting get very unsafe real fast.

If Q4 numbers aren't going to make it and they got to lay off half the the the department and whatever department.

They need to pick to make that final number for the year can always go back to the local place.

That's true. That's true. That's true. But what's your vote? One two or three.

I think I know. I think I hear you say a number one. Stay. My vote is go where you trust the leadership period. Right.

And my kind of second question of that is. Um, the applications for these starter like three months of apprenticeship to deal at the corporate place. Don't come out for another month or so. And I just got an email from. Um, shot number two.

Where it's like hey, can can we call you about this? And I just I want to know like especially. Free and like it's not guaranteed like.

“And then you have to basically guarantee options.”

I'm just not. I want to know exactly what like a wise. Hold on. Nothing's guaranteed. Nothing is.

But let's back out of this for a second. You're you're desperately scared that you're going to make the wrong choice. I want to flip the whole situation around on you. You have three offers and one of those came today. They're trying to get.

They're knocking on their door to get you if you pick wrong. You walk into a situation that you feel good about and it's it sucks. Trust me. Put your name back out on the market and you'll get picked up. The following.

Yeah, you're talented. You're in a good industry. People need good mechanics. And that's why again, I appreciate John's point of view. But I want you to have upward mobility.

Um, we humans crave progress. Yeah. And sometimes we just crave the opportunity for progress.

I think I think it positioned you well for something else.

And that's the question we don't have time to get to.

But I'm going to challenge you with this.

“Where do you want to be 15, 20 years from now with this mechanical skill?”

And does the corporate job position you to get there? I think you got to look at everything but don't overthink it. You know what I mean? Young guy.

“I'm going to take the money as long as I'm not treated, you know, like a jerk.”

Hey, remember this folks?

There's ultimately only one way to financial peace.

And that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace Christ Jesus.