#325 Sean Strickland - The Most Controversial Fighter in the UFC Opens Up Like Never Before

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That's good. I feel like I have a hitman and a pimple where to have a podcast. This has got a rumor and we got that we got the purple, the murder icons everywhere. It's great. Lots of booze.

Lots of booze. I don't even have a pimping hitman. I don't even drink. I know, it's dope man. I got the tour dude.

Oh, this guy got this guy murdered him, this guy killed him. Oh yeah, dude. He's real fucking cool in here. I feel right up home. There's Eddie Gallagher's burner charges up there.

Oh yeah, he's real nice dude. But this guy over here took the world's longest sniper shot or was on the team. Oh man. You gotta get one of Tim Kennedy's grenades in here. Well, nobody could find him.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh yeah. No, it's places, don't man.

“You've been out here fucking crushing, do you don't want to write things?”

You said Candace, that one's on. Bro, that's a crazy. I went nuts. Yeah, that's a crazy bitch right there dude. She's awesome.

Yeah, she's awesome bro. I mean that. I mean that. But do you look at her eyes? I mean that's a crazy bitch dude.

That's one person you don't look up an after you. Oh yeah. But yeah, man, I've been pumped about this. Yeah, no, man. I'm here.

I'm just out here getting hit and fucking head. I'm just attracted by the murder icons. This is war. It's not murder. I ain't fucking all.

Got damn heroes. Yeah, there's a lot of, dude, there's just a lot of history in here, man. Yeah, no, this room is dope, man. This room is guys. If ever, you know, if you ever go do something fucking Sean Ryan worthy, you gotta come

check out the room. Your stuff's gonna be hanging in here, too. Yeah, no.

“But yeah, let me give you an introduction here, not that you should away.”

But Sean Strickland, you're the current UFC middleweight champion and one of the most outspoken and polarizing fighters and mixed martial arts.

style of lead boxing and willingness to take on anyone outside the Octagon. You've been open about your difficult upbringing, overcoming childhood abuse and how fighting gave you purpose and direction. Whether people agree with you or not, you've built a reputation for speaking, your mind challenging the status quo and refusing to filter your opinions.

Welcome to the show. I gotta say, man, out of a tremendous amount of respect for you, but the thing I love the most about you is you're unfiltered. And I don't remember the exact quote, but you know, you said something about you could be making a lot more money if you would just shut your mouth.

And I'm in that same boat and, you know, I wouldn't think I've noticed as a lot of people, you know, when the money starts coming, the mouth. Well, you fuck them out. You talked about the one group of people you can't talk about. I'm like, you know, I talk about everybody.

I'm like the trainees, the homo's a gay, so it's like, I'm already out of it, bro.

“But I think you, you talk about the one group of people you can't talk about, what you”

got to fuck yourself. But I mean, it's nice, bro. It's nice not to be like, it's nice not to be bound by anything, right? Who do you building? I mean, I mean, I get it, like, I get it.

Some people, you know, they're building a legacy. And that's a financial legacy for their kids, or maybe not even for their kids, just for themselves. What if it is for your kids? I mean, if you're filtered, you're just, you're teaching your kids just.

How much money do you fucking need? Exactly.

I always talk to people like, especially like, I don't know, like, streamers, like, my

boy ain't in, right? Like, you'll go and do these like, these streams. I'm there with them. I'm like, just watching this, my bro, like, do you ever go home and just fucking hate yourself?

Like, do you ever go home and just look in the mirror and be like, this was my day today? And he's like, yeah, all the time. I'm like, bro, like, like, how much more money do you need?

“Like, you have to be like, 50, 100 plus million.”

Like, how much more fucking money do you need right now? Like, just stop. You don't, you don't gotta be a fucking deal to your whole life. You just stop. You built himself into a character? Yeah, you build yourself into a character and you just can't fucking stop.

Like, you're so afraid of, like, I don't know if it's like, I don't want to be famous anymore, but it's like, you're just so afraid of like losing that. Is it's weird to me, man? It's weird to me. But even, even with streaming, I would make probably a significant more

money than I do fighting streaming, but like, going on chat and like, hey, chat, like, what do you want me to be today, chat? Like, here, come look at my life. It's just, it's so fucking soul sucking that I almost feel bad for these guys. Like, you might have a fucking Bugatti, but like, your substance is a man has gone.

Yeah. And then you see some fighters, you're like, you just look up to watch do you? You're like, oh, man, like, it's real fucking bad dude. It's sad. You know, I saw it.

When I first started this, I just, I never, I saw it, you know, in the,

just in the, in the veteran community. And we all know who, you know, there's, I'm sure. But, you know, it's just, it's like, it's sad because they're living in a fucking cage. So I don't mind. So I get like, kind of torn between like that.

Cause like, so I never, I always, no offense to seals.

“I always thought seals were fucking deal those and having that real seals, right?”

Cause like, with the only seals I met were like, the influence is one. And Mitch, I love my boy, Mitch, the guy that I, I've, I've challenged to see you when he came, then Jimmy beat him up. And so I was always like, to me, like, I always thought seals were like, like, influencers. And then you go meet like, actual seals, though.

And like, you're like, oh, dude, I just thought you were a normal fucking guy. Like, there's this guy in Vegas, like, shooting with normal fucking guy. You go look at his Instagram, which is him as whifin' his kids, like, normal guy, dude. And you're just, so you kind of get, you get, you get shown. The, the very small minority of seals that act like deal those.

But like, the vast majority of them, bro, they're like, I mean, they're like you, you know. But uh, yeah, no, fucking hate, dude. It was a great thing.

The loudest motherfucker in the room is always the biggest shit bag.

You ever read that one? Yeah. I'll tell you a funny story, dude. So my buddy owns a gun store. I'm just a sales team, Howard Delta guy.

I don't know that I'm sure you could just Google a pop up. He owns a gun store. And I'm just like walking around, like, you know, hey, what's up? And I go in the back office. He's having like a meeting, this guy in a suit, like Gucci.

And this guy fucking looks at me, right? And I don't know if it's like just like fucked up, recognize his fucked up. But he looked at me in a way that like, like you want to kill me. He didn't say anything.

He just looked at me in a way that made my, like, a little fucking lizard brain just fired. Like there's something wrong with that fucking guy. So me being a dickhead, the moment I feel that, I start like, I want to see like, I want to fucking see.

So I start like poking you and pressing buttons. And my, so I'm like, hey, do you like, dude, you're looking at me? Weird, man, you're some kind of fucking hitman. What the fuck, what kind of PTSD do you got?

He just kind of laughs.

That's a hell of an approach.

And he just kind of, like, laughs. I didn't know he's a veteran.

“He just laughs and smurks and like it made me even double down”

because he didn't even say anything. I'm like, I do have a good one, Doug. And my buddy calls me that on the gun store. He's like, dude, the guy you were talking to, he just got, let go of like a fucking Middle Eastern prison.

Like, he's an ex special forces. And he like, he got arrested on like a coup. Like he was trying to assassinate a public figure. He's like, you're just saying they're talking shit. Go on and make it, man.

I'm like, oh, yeah, thank God we're in America. But yeah, I know, but like, you know, there's a different class of like seals and operators that you don't even know. Like I, I, the most respect that got for these guys

was I did this charity thing. It was like a green break. You go in like, you know, you just go shoot. No, I shot a lot of green breaks. Maybe you guys would practice a little bit more.

It was a competition. But they invited me to go. And I was like, man, I don't like, I don't really have much connection to the military, you know.

“Like, I, I like, I like the military spectrum,”

but I don't really know much about like, I don't have a connection. I don't have family in the military, you're like, but I'll go get you to know these guys, man. Like life changing, life changing.

Like you, you meet these guys and they're just going away. They, they leave their family for like, you know, months out of time and some fucked up part of the world.

And they don't do it like they'll never be famous

and never be really rich. And they're just doing it because they're just doing it because they fucking, they, they love the respect of their, like the brothers. Meeting these guys though, you're like, man,

you guys are real men. Like you guys are like the last man on this planet. You, you, you're quiet, you shut the fuck up. You, you, you go when you pursue this, it ridiculously hard path that nobody could do.

You don't do it for like, you don't do it for fame. Like you just do it for the respect of your peers. Like to me, like the, the green braze, the operators, they're, they're one of the last men and like, baschins of masculinity on this planet.

I don't disagree with it. Baschins of masculinity is just disappearing. It was, it was a trip to me because I can't, I couldn't, like, fathom that. Like I thought into a, like a guy that wanted to go del't

and he was telling me some of the things he had to do and like, like, the selection process. And I was like, man, I just kind of fathom doing that and breaking your body and all this shit. And you'll make, I don't know how much dealt the guys,

maybe what is the fucking dealt the guy make? - I don't know. - It's been a long time since I've been-- - Well, I just say 200,000 for 2000, like-- - I would not even say that.

I would say, I mean, when I was in as a low, low level and listed seal, it was 65 grand, maybe-- - Well, that's what I'm saying. And like, and these guys, like, they're pursuing this, like, this, uh, an amenity.

Like, they, they're never be famous, they'll never be known.

Like, they're going to go begin fucked up parts of the world, doing fucked up things. And like, you're just going to die. Like, me as, like, a white trash kid that wanted to be a fighter, I just couldn't imagine dedicating your life to something

and getting really no payoff besides the respect and dignity of, like, your peer group and, like, your own image. So, like, you meet these guys, like, man, that's just-- I can't even fucking wrap my head around that, kind of, like, sacrifice, and you're--

- Well, it's not even, uh, I mean, it's-- I agree with you, but you know, nobody goes into it. Well, I don't know about now. You know what I mean, whether with all the social platforms and shit, but nobody goes into it for that.

You know what I mean? I went to it because you're drawn to-- I mean, not unlike yourself, you're drawn to the-- you're drawn to the sport of it. - How old are you when you were listening?

- I was 17. - And now you went straight sales, or were you like-- - Yeah, I went straight to sales. I was in Buds by 18, and then I was at a team by 20, 20 years old.

“- I know there's, like, different degrees of sales team, right?”

Like, sales team six is like the, like, the top dog of the top dog. - They're the tier one element, yeah. - They're the tier one, or-- - Now, how hard is the good tier one? Like, what do you--

- I mean, it's fucking tough, man. He talked to a lot of these guys. I mean, a lot of my friends went tier one, and you know, they say it was just as tough as going through Buds. Tough are the going through Buds, but different, you know,

and different is, and I don't know. I think you really, I mean, I can't, I didn't do it. So, but you can't, you can't, you want it so fucking bad. You know what I mean, and it's, it's, I mean, look, it's probably similar to being in the ring.

If you lose, it can be humiliating, you know, and for all those people. - Let go back and tell, look, look at your wife and the eye, I'm like, yeah, I fucking nit-quit. - Yep, and if you try out for a tier one unit,

and you don't make it, all your buddies that you're there with, that you've served with and prior units, they all see it. You know what I mean, and it can be humiliating.

- And then you go home, and then you try again, you know what I mean? And sometimes, a lot of times, guys will make it

the second time around, but...

- I feel like the hardest thing would be the marches. Like I was talking about the delth, the guys don't want to be delth, and you're selling me, like the length of marches they have to do, and I'm like, fuck you.

You want me to go, like, lock me in a quote, what I'm gonna go send the ocean for fucking 24 hours when I can do that. You want to go carry a bow, I can do that. But the moment you said, hey, go walk for 100 miles

with a fucking 50, 70 pound pack on your back, like, the hardest thing about being in those units, dude, is earning your right to be there every single fucking day, every single day, like you're being judged. You, it's a competition, and they'll kick you out.

You know, if you don't measure up, and so you'll literally have nightmares of fucking it up in the kill house, or losing a weapon, or you'll have nightmares of not rising to the occasion when it counts. You don't even want it counts to take the shot.

“And then you wake up, and you're like, shit, did that happen?”

- Out of all the, no, I'm gonna say something with fighting, you wake up and I go shit. Like I had a dream where I woke up, and I was like, oh shit, I guess I'm merely a champ right now, it's weird.

But like, you know, it's same thing with fighting,

but you're always like, you're always pressure, it's pressure.

What's the hardest thing about training? When you're going through like the thing, you're like, I hate this the most, like I fucking, this is the most miserable fucking thing to me. I mean, for me, it was probably being in the ocean, being,

I don't know, it's the, it's the, I got to the point where when the hype, I would like stop, I could mentally stop myself from shivering, so that I could get the hype a thermo to kick in quicker, and because once that kicks in, your mind kind of goes numb,

you know what I mean? And so did you don't really give a shit anymore? You're like, oh, good, it's here, it's here. - I bet you don't fucking cool water, no cool points. - I don't do cold punch shit, and I probably should,

but I don't, and then the other part that you don't hear about is the chafing. So I got to know if they still do this, but you know, you'll go on a four mile run

or a 12 mile run or whatever,

and you'll get out of the water and you'll still have your wetsuit on in the Blake. I mean, this is the shit you don't see on TV, they'll say, all right, everybody take a handful of sand, put it under your armpits, put it down your junk,

put a handful of sand down your ass crack. All right, Jens, ladies, we're going on a 12 mile run, and dude, your junk is rubbed. Complete, you could take whatever STD, you know, you can think of in this shit, is there's no skin on it,

there's no skin on your sack, there's no skin under your arms, there's no skin in your ass crack. Do you think it's shit? Do you think the training is just as hard now as when you were in harder or the same?

- I don't know, I don't know, I think it's changed a lot, but from what I understand, and I don't really keep in contact much with the community at all, the end product is just as capable.

You know, and there's a lot of shit's changed, you know,

“since I think it should evolve, you know what I mean?”

I don't think, I think that, look, there's a lot of broke decks when I was in, because they overdue. - Yeah, I think maybe that, but when you look at the military for whole, I kind of wish we would rest a little bit tougher.

Like you look at some of these fucking like, I don't even know how they do it, they'll be like a drill sergeant with the fucking iPhone recording, like some two fucking liberals, like limb dick, women fighting.

I brought all like, what do you do in? Like how the fuck do you have an iPhone recording? Like, should you be like teaching these fucking people, smack in a mechanism, Ron, have you seen those these days, where it's like, how do you fucking even do?

And then you post it, but there's no like chain of command that says, hey, don't film a recruits being like fucking pussy's. Yeah, I don't know, man, the military standard is fucking weird. I actually want to join the military and I was a kid. - Really? - No, I did.

So like, fighting sucks, you're like, I mean, you're so poor, like when you're a fighter, you're so fucking poor, like you're like,

“even when you see, you see guys, they're signing guys”

at like, they're signing guys like 10 and 10. - And this is, - What's up being 10 and 10? - So like 10 to show, 10 to win. - So you get 20 grand for a fight, 20 grand. So then you pay off your manager, you pay off,

you pay taxes, if you lose, you make it like 87 grand. So shit. And now, you go and get fucking, say go get injured and get locked out. Like the U, she's fucking brutal.

Like the U, she's so fucking predatory. This is why you see a lot of foreigners excel, 'cause you know, guys in Brazil, they live in the fucking Bravella, it's like, do 10 grand of them,

but that's fucking life changing. I have buddies that go in like live in like, you know, Daggestan or like, Brazil, and they go back and they live like a fucking king. Like, bro, you can't even pay rent for a couple months here.

So like, the U of C, bro, it's like, it's so fucking predatory to pay.

but like the only very top guys you're making money.

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- I've always wondered that, you know?

'Cause I've always heard that. I didn't realize it was that. - That low. - It's so pratory. - Now mind you, like you could get a couple fights.

Maybe in like the UFC, they love you. You take a short notice fight. If the UFC calls you and they say, "Hey, you want to take a fight on like five day notice." They will give you like, you know,

maybe a 30, 40, 50 grand pay bump. But yeah, the UFC loves that shit. They love short notice fights, give you the biggest pay bumps. And there's a, there's a manager named Sean Shelby,

everybody hates him with him. I mean, I'm friends with him, but like he was my manager at Walter Way, dude, he was such a fucking kind. And I say this is a friend Sean, you know, like you're a nice guy,

like everybody fucking hates you. Like it gets, it's so bad in the UFC whenever someone's like, "Oh yeah, well, wait, class you in." And they're like, "Oh yeah, I'm in this division like, "Oh, dude, you got Sean Shelby, man, I'm sorry."

Yeah, fucking sorry, dude. This guy's so fucking brutal. Like you could have a boring fight or something and this motherfucker will binge you for like eight months. Or like you could say, "Hey Sean, like I want a fight

"and he'll call you with like two weeks out from a fight." Like, "Hey, we got a fight for you like two weeks out. "You can't give me a little bit more fucking notice." And if you say, "No, you'll fucking bench your ass." Yeah, they did the UFC's fucking brutal.

Like I wanted it crazy. But this is why I like the UFC. It's like, it attracts, you know, fucking degenerates. Like, you tend to intend for a lot of guys and like, where they come from,

that's still a lot of fucking money. But yeah, so I would tell anybody who don't join the UFC. And then to be like, to get in the UFC, you're, you did the roads rough. Like, it's ways you're now that it was when I was a kid.

Now it's like you go get a couple good fights, we're gonna get on the contenders and get in.

But the road being a UFC fighter's rough. Like, you just, like you're making no money.

“I think I was making like $1,000 to fight.”

$1,000 to $1,000 to $1,000 to $1,000 to $1,000 to $1,000. I mean, I mean, I'll be a deal of a second. No, I was, I was, I was sleeping in the gym. I had this coach, John Moonios. We had a following out, but like you'd let me sleep in the gym.

Like you'd let me sleep in the gym. Shacked up with the girl once. She let me sleep in her house for a while. That was nice, got me out of the gym, and thank you. That was nice.

But no, so like, as much as I hate the UFC and I knock on them,

they get people opportunity that you never have.

I've never had a opportunity. But I go back to the military. I'm like, I'm just fucking poor. My life fucking sucks. Like, I have no dignity.

I'm 17, 18, riding a bike to the gym, sleeping on a match. Like, man, I fucking hate myself. Like, I'm a fucking loser. You know, like, I'm a fucking piece of shit. All right, 'cause like, I'm no high school,

I don't have a high school diploma. I'm chasing this. I'm seeing my friends with cars,

“and like, you know, I'm seeing my friends elevate their life.”

And here I am, just fucking loser sleeping in the gym. So I was like, you know what, man? Like, I hate this. I don't have a high school diploma. So I walked in like all the recruiters, like, you know.

And the army was the only one that's like, they had a, I don't know if they still do it, but they had a waiver, that if you had 15 college credits, we're just not hard to get 15 credits. Apparently, there's only like a few classes.

So if you have 15 college credits, the waiver, you don't need a JD. I don't know what it was called, but that was a program many times. So I'm like, sweet, I'm gonna go join the army.

Okay, what I do, just, I wanna place a live, I wanna have a car, and I wanna like, I wanna look myself in the mirror and not be like, you're a piece of shit anymore. So, I go and I sign up, I go and I sign up

for like the local community college, fucking bomb that placement. I can get bombed the place, I look back, my dude, you're fucking idiot, man.

'Cause I never went to school, like I like my,

but you had to talk about all my years, I went to school probably like, like, kindergarten for a second. Nine, I probably went to school for like four years of my life. Are you serious?

I have about four years. Holy shit, yeah, so like, I have four years of my life. I think about that, like fuck man. I have real questionable, real questionable. So, Kamala Harris, she actually really fucked us on this one.

In Kindergarten, like so Kamala Harris of this thing, if you were true in it, it made your parents, like, your parents go to jail. So, you know, growing up, like, dude who's a fucking neighbor in my house, like, my dad would get home at four,

start fucking drinking, and then like, we'd be up until like two in the morning, just fucking, fucking war or two, you know? Like, I remember like my mom used to like sit in the kitchen and I would sit between her legs and just like my dad,

like, you're fucking whole your fucking your boss,

and I'm just like a little kid holding her legs.

How old are you? Oh, fuck. This is like my other life, but like, like, Kindergarten, like, I mean, this is like my relationship members.

I don't really have a lot of good memories as a kid. Like, it's even like pictures, like, my girl will go and like, she, like, frame my, you know, 'cause I've won the belt twice, so she'll be on frame my gloves,

my baby just hate it, I can't look back at it. Anytime I look at like a picture of myself and like the past, like, fucking hate it.

“Like, I think it just like, just from like,”

so like, traumatized as a kid, you know, with who I might, who I was, I can't look at myself and be like, oh yeah, there's Sean Strickland, you check, I can't say, but it, but so my girl, funny, she'll make no a shit.

She'll just load it up like, like, I have like a whole class of what all these cool shit I can't look at. But, so anyways, that happened where I'd be up until, like, two, three in the morning,

and then it gave me like, severe social anxiety. So we're like, I'd go to school and, you know, I was just fucked up. Like, I, like, I mean, I would just hide under the bed not when I go to school.

Like, so eventually I would go to school and I'd be up all night long because my mom would be like in war three, like I'd be up until two, three in the morning watching my mom and this is like every fucking night,

every night, my dad would be going on. So my dad would get home at like four o'clock and just start drinking and then by like, then by a, by like a fucked up by,

by a, I don't know, like nine o'clock, do you just wore a little fucking war three? Every now and then he would yell at you but get your ass upstairs, like, you know, 'cause we're out of like, try to protect my mom.

Like, yo upstairs, so you'd go upstairs and like, you're just saying they're like, you know, fucking crying, your brain's out, listening to your mom, my God, my mom isn't died and I hope my mom wouldn't die night.

I should have remembered one time, like you said you hope your mom doesn't die. Yeah, like, you know, 'cause you're just like, you're laying in bed, like hearing your dad, like a fucking kill you, like,

I remember my dad, like,

like, earliest memories tellin' my dad that like, you cheat on me again, I'll catch you and burn you and put your body in acid and bury you in the back yard, it's like all night long.

You're just like, you're hearing this shit, right? So they like you just anyways.

“So I remember, people asked if I'm religious, you know?”

Do you really just man? I am. So I remember like, laying in bed once, like, you know, being a kid crying, like crying, no pillow sheets, right?

No, like, I know shit's my fucking bed. And like, I know like pillow sheets, like when you have like a, when you have like a dirty, nasty, brown fucked up pillow that would know, with no fucking case on it,

it's like waxing. So I remember just like crying, my fucking eyes, I almost had this pillow and I might do there's no God. Like right, like if there's a God, like how the fuck, like how the fuck is there God?

And these are my earliest memories, like why would God do this to me? Do you ever think about that, so? Yeah, and then like I remember like, wanting to die before I knew what it was.

Now with kids or so, like suicide's a thing, but like when you're a little kid, you know what suicide is, but I remember laying in bed like, man, I just like, why am I here?

Like, what does that, like God? You know, so like, yeah, so laying in bed all night long just not sleeping, so I'd go to school. And I would just sleep all day long, just, you know, lay on my desk and just sleep all through school.

So kindergarten happened, and then I don't know if my mom was working at the time,

but then first grade happened and then she started working.

So now I had to go and like I'm up all night long and I have to get myself up, I have to get myself up and then walk to school. So you're telling me like, first grade, I did it, I walked to school.

I showed up late every day. I remember like when 9/11 happened, like I was fucking sleeping. It was on the west coast, like it happened like, you know, every time it happened 10 a.m.

I was fucking sleeping. I remember I walked into like out my third, very class. Like everyone's like, watch him. So yeah, what's up, guys?

“I just just waking up, you know, like what's going on?”

So yeah, so I just would sleep all day long, and then once I hit like third, third, fourth grade, I started ditching and I was like, "I don't have to go to school anymore." Like what the fuck?

I just walked to school, like I'm not gonna go. Like I'm not gonna go. So I just not fucking go. This one had this one teacher and it made me laugh because I got this one teacher that took my desk

for me 'cause she got so mad I was sleeping. So like she literally was like, "Shon, you can't stop sleeping in class. "I'm taking your desk from me, make you stand." So I'm just like, I'm like, I'm like, "I'm a fucking,

"puttle him as a kid." I'm like, "Fuck you bitch, I'll just sleep on the fucking floor." So I literally just like slept on the floor. And like she took my desk and built a desk. I'm just in the back of the class,

I'm just sleeping on the floor. And mind you, she doesn't know, I'm sleeping because I'm like, I'm gonna fucking war three at my house, right? So it's like, it's just kind of funny how like society just,

you know, never let's say "Shon, why can't you stay awake in class?"

Oh, shit. - Shit. - So, and then going in fourth grade, they did this, they did this comola heris, did this thing that if kids were true in in school, they'd prosecute the parents. So, I started ditching, like I wanna go to school.

So I'm not a choice, like if she's gonna get charged, or homeschooling. So now I'm homeschooled from fourth grade, fifth, six, I went back in middle school, but now mind you, I went back in middle school,

and I'm fucked up, right? Like I've only been in, I've only been socialized, like, I was like, fucking vote with you, and I'm like, I'm fucking friends. So I was like, socialized from, you know,

kind of socialized for socializing. And do you mind you? Yeah, my house is just humiliated. Oh yeah, I mind you do, like, and I was watching fucking porn,

and I was like, in fucking second grade, you know? Like, like, we had like a little porn box and my fucking, like, my brother had watched, my sister's funny dude, my dad, you know, like back in the day you kids

don't know this shit, but they had like the TV with the, the built-in VCR.

So my dad would always take my sister's VCR,

and she had to be like, she's probably like six years older than me. So she's like middle school, and like, oh dad, you left your fucking porn in the VCR, as she's like watching, go to the watch of fucking Disney movie, and there's like some fucking

double porn tape. So like, we were just around that.

“Like it was just normal, we were just around that shit, you know?”

It was like very, like, just, yeah, there's a porn box. Oh dad, let's fucking porn in the VCR, like, you know? So I'm just paying this picture of like me being this unssocialized, like, it's not socialized. And then, um, my grandfather was like kind of like my hero,

which is like a military, a relaxed military. He only did a few years. I don't know if you, like, probably got kicked out.

big white guy, south, like the most racist motherfucker you will ever meet.

You know, like, cleaning a fucking gun on the fucking porch to like, I don't want us to drop the hard ER, but on the fucking, you know, I'll get these fucking off my, off my lawn. You know, I mean, that was him. That was him.

So me being this like piece of shit bully kid by, like, everybody, my brother, my sister's like, I was a youngest. And this, like, brutal fucking food chain. So I just got like, I got the worst of it. So like me, I had this big fucking big white strong man who had guns.

And like, I was like, man, this is like, he's the only male role model in my life. And all he would talk about, racist racist racist, fucking blacks, bar max cans, racist racist racist. So I just like, I assume that identity.

Like, there's just a movie American history X. Oh, yeah, I know it.

I mean, that was, that was like who I wanted to be.

Red Laces, washed again.

“Like that was like, man, that's like, that's why I want to be.”

Like, that's the kind of guy I want to fucking be. So seven grade comes around and you know, I just, I'm full on fucking hate the pudding, you know, I'm like a super, just real fucking racist. You know, yeah, like so I'll give you an example. I don't actually my good friends, this was my seventh grade.

This was, now it's actually a good friend of mine, my, my boy Josh. But his sister used to sit behind me in class. And I think I said something like, hey, you know, like we made a fucking one, you were basketball, you know, like we made a fucking loan. So he goes and like tells like a big old black brother Josh seventh grade.

I'm like, I mean, I'm hell even seventh grade. But 12, maybe. Yeah, like 12, right? So I'm at lunch and this guy comes up to me and he goes, hey, man, like you said some racist shit to my, my sister.

And I look at him, I say, hey, you fucking, you know, hearty are like, why don't

I go give you a fucking rope and you can go fucking hand yourself. Three, like I'm like 11, 12 years old saying shit like this. So I mean, I just, I'm using this a painted picture later in life. We actually became like, you know, as I start training, he started training. And I kind of grew out of him. We came like really close friends.

And you know, I mean, like, so our man is so that happens. And then I got kicked out of school and middle school for hate crime. I don't know what I fucking did. I probably like resist spouting off some shit. They put me in a class where they isolate you.

They they put you in a, you're going at 11, you're going at like 10 a.m. And they let you out at 1 a.m. And they do it to keep you away from them. So I was in that for a while. And then I went and then I told my mom, like, I can't do this.

So she homeschooled me because I was ditching again because calm. So I was ditching now homeschooled again for eighth grade real quick. Is anybody at the school?

“Is anybody outside of your family asking you what the hell is going on in the home?”

No, no, man. They're just disappointed. No, my, my sister's a school psychologist. And like, you really, like, what do you do? You know, you can't, you're like, you're going to vibe.

You're going to involve yourself as much as you can. But what are you going to do? You can't really change anybody's lives. Yeah, so now I'm back in school in ninth grade. And I'm love, I love football.

I love football. Like, you know, I fucking football is like my dream. I love it. It's the only time I could fucking hit somebody. But I couldn't keep a GPA.

I've only done, like, I mean, I could probably barely read in the right of this time. You know, so I couldn't keep a GPA. I couldn't keep a fucking 2.0 if my life depended on it. So then, like, I, we got kicked out of school or no, then I, I once football was a thing. You know, I just gave no fucks.

I got kicked out of school again for a hate crime.

“I think a Jewish kid was running for a flat or office.”

I was like, you like, I think I said, like, the last thing we need is another fucking cake running for power. And mind you, I'm like, I'm in fucking, I even know what that means. Like, I don't even know what that fucking means. I mean, I'm in ninth grade.

I'm ninth grade. I don't know what that means. You know, but like, some of my grab was say, so I say it. So then I go to these like, just shitty gang school with all these fucking, like, which find I help my racism at all, orange Grove.

It's like, this is shitty. I mean, there's guys like fucking smoking crack in the bathroom. Like, mind you, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, why kid here? So I'm like in a fucked up. I'm fighting these little fucking little fucking degenerates, you know?

Like, like, it's, it's, it's making me worse. And this is like why institutions usually make people worse. And we're like, people like, oh, put them in jail, lock them up. Like, you know, you're just making them worse. Like, you're just fucking making them worse.

So I tell my mom, like, I can't be here. Like, I'm like the token racist white kid, you know, I'm getting fight. So I don't tell my mom. She just knows. So she homeschools me again.

This is fucking nothing dude. It's just nothing. It's nothing dude I want, you know? So she homeschools me again. Yeah, like nothing.

She homeschools me again, just because it's like, you know,

I go back and then like, finally, like, I go back to a,

I go back to school again at like 10th grade. I do another fucking hate crime. I get fucking kicked out.

“I think I have to fight with much of black guys, like,”

jumping in the locker room. And I got fuck 'cause I was white. I was like, what are you talking about? Do I, what are you said fucking, I was like, well, I mean, what are you talking about?

He's looking at my ass kicked. I like five black guys. What are you talking about? It's like I kicked out again for a hate crime. And then, and then I'm in like,

and I'm in the shitty school. I transferred to a continuation school to get my credits gradually. I'm like in, I don't know if I'm like sophomore junior. I think I might have been going to my junior year.

And then I was like, awful. And then I, so during all this, I'm just really pissed off angry. I start training now. I got like my mom brings me to a gym.

I start training and I fucking love it. You know, I love like training to me. We'll see how much time my life I've been happy. I tell the story, but I remember walking to gym. I'd be like fucking 14 years old, 15 years old,

and I just got the shit kicked out of me. Like the other shit kicked out of me, but like like 19, 20 year old speed to fuck out of me. Only time my life ever been happy. Like the only time my life I've ever been happy

was like leaving that fucking bloody nose. I'm all fucked up and like, I love this. Like I don't know what this is, but I'm unhappy. So, getting my sophomore year, I think the sophomore junior senior.

I'm training now, I'm at this continuation school. I grow my hair out super long. That's where Tarzan came from because like, I was so like, you know, like, I was at races as angry.

And once I started training, I really was like, man, I'm not races. I'm just fucking pissed off and angry. I'm just super fucking angry. So like, going back to like the shame I felt on myself.

I wanted to get away from like Sean, the little kid and I wanted like recreate my identity. So I grew my hair out long. And I mean, I used to call me like my nickname and training was hate.

Like Sean, the hate struggling just because like, like, everything in me was just hate fucking hate to color the wall, fucking hate you, hate this, hate him. Like everything with me was just like,

“the only thing I felt was just hate for everything.”

So I grew my hair out really fucking long. I started training, just ate the pudding of training, loved it, every day after training. I'd skip school to go train. And I remember talking to all my teachers

about like graduating. I was like, fuck this, like, I'm gonna be a fighter. And I just like left school.

I was like, and never came back.

I just went full time fighting from like, from like 15 to, to about, I think, 18 or 19. He started at 15. Yes, I were at 15. So then I'm about 18, 19 years old.

Going through like fighting lower circuits. I got, I turned it as a professional fighter at 17. So I'm like, just going to the circuit just fighting, taking fights. But I'm like, I'm making no money.

I'm a piece of shit, like I'm a fucking piece of shit. I hate myself. I hate myself even more now. Because now it's like, now I'm becoming a fucking man. And I have like, I'm even worse off.

So, um, I need to hate yourself. It's just like you have no money, dude. You have no, so I've no fucking, I have no fucking GD. I have no fucking money. I'm writing a bike everywhere I go.

My, like, I'm like, I'm just a fucking loser. And my job had no social skills. So like, there was no like, oh, like, everybody else is up going to parties and getting laid and like partying. I had no social skills.

Like I didn't, I didn't have that. I remember one time something really stuck with me. I'm happy with a few things that stuck with me. Like seventh grade my, and I think my math teacher, history teacher, miswages.

You looked at me. She's like, Sean, they built prisons for people like you. Absolutely, right, 100%. Like I have to look back. Oh my god, you're a thousand percent per cent, right?

Like, without fighting, the best thing you could have done for me is put me in a cage and said, don't come out. But, you know, through fighting, that kind of like found myself. But I had this football coach fucking dick of a guy.

All my, all my buddies were like going out to him. We've here something. And he was like, what the fuck, you know what I'm buying me? And my coach 100% right. My coach walks out of me as I do.

Why would they invite you? You're a fucking asshole. Like you're a fucking dick. You know, we like you. And me, like, and hindsight, like you're 100% right.

Like a hundred percent right. So I, like I have these like little moments in my life

“that you just remember that like an adult told me.”

Never a kid, like an adult.

Somebody know if they're already told me. And like, yeah, man, like, you're, you're definitely honest. You're definitely honest, something. So I'm training now.

I mean, you had, like, you had nobody. You had nobody. No, yeah, no. I was like, that was a positive influence on everybody. Well, no, I did.

So like, I had, um, man, like, all my positive influences were like, you know, my grandfather, like, did guys, like, I looked up the American history ex guys.

But not not positive and not positive. Like, nobody to like, really.

“This gym's helped me because like there were people”

that like, that were like me that, um, the gym's helped because there are a lot of people who are like, like, fit in. I would go and like, the only positive influence I got with from the gym.

Like, you'd go fight people and like, you know, like, you have like a brotherhood in the gym. I'm sure if I very similar to military, just obviously you're not fucking killing people. So it's probably not as strong.

But like, you know, you're with these people every day you're fighting them. That really changed my life training and getting the anger out. Like, it, if it wasn't for fighting to be like,

I always say like, oh, he's not going to be a serial killer.

I'd fucking would have just murdered someone on the street and then locked up and I would have been institutionalized for the rest of my life. Like, it wouldn't have been like, there would be no romantic story behind it.

I would have just been pissed off. Fucking done horrific that and then institutionalized the rest of my life. I would have got out, I would have done another horrific act. And then I would just be institutionalized for us in my life.

That was like my path that it wasn't for fighting. You know, just long life institutionalization. But so now I'm like 18 years old. My life fucking sucks. I'm, you know, just no self respect.

No fucking dignity.

“And then I go to a recruiter on my guy's in my life sucks.”

Like I just fucking sucks. I'll do anything. I'll fucking, I'll do anything. Just give me a uniform, give me a place. Like, let me look in the mirror and be like,

dude, you're, you're not a loser. Like, you know, and then I think that's a lot of, like, I'm sure a lot of people want that. Like they want the uniform. They want the respect of it.

Just like, you know, you're not that guy anymore. You're that guy. You're the fucking, you know, the guy on the wall. So I go, I sign up for college to go get my 15 credits, bomb the placement.

So I probably didn't even do more than I needed to. The day before college started, I go to like a high school party just 'cause like, I'm like, I'm like, I don't know if I said, I don't know 'cause like it was like the in between

to where like high school kids, right now high school, they went there. So it was like the in between. And I just bored. I was just fucking bored.

And I was like, you know, I'm like, I know pussy. I'm just, oh, I don't drink by the way. And there's these two kids. And I was like, I just want to fuck somebody up.

“Like the only thing I said, I'd make this night better”

if I could just fuck somebody up. So my buddy, like, goes and, you know, like, I'm like, mind you, I'm a predator. Like, right, I'm a fucking predator. He even, like, I'm not just like some like, you know,

fucked up kid that like, oh, yeah, poor Sean. Like, you know, he just, he had a rough patch. At this point in my life, I am a predator. Like, everything to me is like, I'm looking for my, I'm looking for my kind of fun.

And my kind of fun is usually like the,

to, I always say like, my kind of fun is like,

to, you know, violate the rights of others. Like, that's my kind of fun dominance. Yeah, so I mean, like, it comes down to like, I think they call it conduct disorder. And then it goes to anti-social personality disorder.

And like, you have to have, like, and I have every single one of them. Like, you have to have like one of like 10 trades. I have literally every single fucking one of them. Every single fucking one of them.

So I'm at this party. I see two victims, you know, they like, yeah, they'll fit the bill tonight. They'll give me something to do. And I'm, I'm, I'm just don't call fuck it sober.

So my buddy, my buddy starts like hitting on their chicks and then one guy comes over and I get between nothing and fuck I just like, you know, give me my opportunity. What my fun, I want to have fun. So he, he pretty much like reaches out and like to grab

my shirt and I just fucking drill him in the face. Oh, and which is fun. I've hit somebody fucking people before. Like, you know, you just hit a guy, brother gets out of car, comes around and I mean, fucking drill him in the face.

My house finds I go home. Next I know I get a fucking warrant for my rest. So cops like call me or getting, they call my brother and my brother tells me oh, dude, they're looking for you. So I go meet up with the cops.

And I wasn't like a heart and criminal. I was just a fucked up kid to like to hurt people. And it just, it was a high school part.

I got to fight the first guy hit.

Did I just fucking destroy his face? Can't do it in a fight, but I hit a fucking loser. I'm a kid and I'm fucked. I mean, like, fucking broke broke his nose, broke his job.

Knocked out of this fucking front teeth. He had to go get like multiple reconstructed surgeries. The second guy hit just broke his nose. He had to go get surgery. And I got arrested now.

I'm sitting in, I'm just not got arrested. The guy showed me the picture. He's like, I don't want to take it to jail. Dude, I know it was just a high school fight, but it's like, they're fucked up.

So I have to take it to jail. It's something that I'm gonna sit in and fucking counting now. Well, he's walking white supremacist skinheads. And it's a funny story. Some walking past.

I'm like, yeah, post my much. I'm a kid, bro. I look at that picture. I'm like fuck, like you're in, like you're in, like a doorky ass little kid.

Professional fighter at the time. I still fucking kid. So I'm walking past like the black sale. And they segregate a roof side count. And you have like, dude, it's like,

Like just like talking shit as you walk behind them. I'm like, oh fuck. So I get to my, the segregation sale. And all these white guys come up to you. And I was wondering if I'm like a day and a half.

I was in a very long. So they get to the white sale. I remember them like telling me like, hey, Sean, like they go, they make your bad. They show you what, because like when you get arrested,

they give you those little, what they get a little box. And they give you a load down like, hey, you can't shower the black guy. You can't fucking shit where we eat like. And they give you the load down in the very end of it.

I was like, you know, guys, I'm not really like, I'm not really racist. So it's like, how does that work? And they're like, well, here's a thing, Sean, you're really with us or you're not.

And they're never walking past that fucking that sale.

That's not the black guy's talking shit to me. And I was like, I'm in brother like, I'm in the club, you win, do I get my tattoo? Let's get a swastika.

“So it just shows you like institutionalized, right?”

But I remember the thing, like, you're out of a choice. But I remember the thing, no one I was in there. How much I admire these people. Mind you, these guys are fucking shit bags. One guy and there was for a tempting murder.

Like, but like, I looked at these people. Like, I mean, I'm sure you would look at, like, like a, like a Navy seal or like a, like someone you look at a hero. I looked at these shit bag people.

Like, man, you like, like, I spider, I talking for a little bit. I was like, you're who I want to be. Like, you're kind of who I want to be. Like, I admire this.

What was it about on the two of modern? Just like community community? I'm in there with cool, but they're really nice to me. You know, they're fucking really cool to me, which is probably like something I didn't get often.

But yeah, I just, they just, like, just the tattoos. They're like, they're just fucking shit bad. They're savages. Like, they would do, like, it just like,

I don't know, man, I always say, like,

“I don't know, you, did you have a pretty good upbringing?”

I did, about a pretty good upbringing. I don't like it upbringing. So whenever you go through, like, and I'm sure you've experienced a lot of like PTSC, but I don't, I don't know how like,

I don't know what PTSC feels like as an adult, right? So like, I never like, I don't know what it's like to be normal and then watching your buddies head get blown. I'm like, I don't know what that's like. I don't know what kind of, like,

what kind of, that does the brain, you know? It does less to the brain than what happened to you. It was not some people did to some people, like, I mean, I've met some people that like, after they went to like Iraq and like they were like,

usually IDs, see those shun but a lot of the link. Like, I had an abnormal childhood for the industry that I was at. You know, and a lot of, a lot of, but it probably helps you and they're adjusted.

You're emotionally secure. You're an oddball. I mean, a lot of the guys that go and have a back,

“you know, that their childhood's like you,”

and I didn't, I didn't even fucking know that. I mean, my best friend in the SEAL teams was dropped off on a doorstep in a car seat. Yeah. You know, like, shit like that.

And, and, but, or like, what you're talking about, and I didn't even know this until I started this. Yeah. And, like, you see all this stuff in here. Like, a lot of these guys have been molested as kids.

They're the sexual abuse, like the similar to your situation. I have one guy in here, Steve, the friend of mine. I mean, they're puttin' like, put cigarettes out. His, his stepdad was puttin' cigarettes out on his dick. And...

And you go to, like, I did therapy for like three and a half years after I left SEAL. And they kept going, they kept going to childhood. They kept going to my childhood. There's just, you know, there's not.

There, like, had a great childhood. You know, I'm feel guilty about it after... Oh, no, that's good, though, because it makes you, like, more emotions. It's like, you're, like, like, my, my wife, great childhood, purpose, purpose to get.

And that's the only reason why we're together. Because every time I'm with a woman, like me, it's like, we're too fucked up people together. But my wife is, like, so... Together, that she could, like...

Now, mind you're not, like, I don't love not me. Like, you know, usually if you have a wife guys, you got really learn how to just, like, repress everything. Just fuck, don't be yourself. Just fucking be completely different.

Going out of the boys.

But yeah, I always wonder, though, like, like, um,

because I met some soldiers or, like, my buddies, that were, like, usually the IDs will get out and, like, if they had a friend die, like, a rack or a Afghanist for the ID. Those guys usually, usually, ones that fucked up,

they feel like survivors' guilt. Mm-hmm. I mean, it's, I'm not, I'm not diminishing it. I'm just saying that when you go through it,

it all starts with the childhood drama stuff, man.

Well, I mean, didn't, uh, what... That forms who you become, and that forms everything. Well, Madison wouldn't have mad to say something. Somebody asks my PTSD. He's like, do some people together.

They don't. It's like, if you're, if you're prone to, you're going to get it. I don't know what other quote, but he said some quote about PTSD. Who said that?

Joe Madness about, like, he's like, it's either you get it. Like, some people get it. Some people don't. Everybody gets it, dude. Yeah.

That dude's full of shit. If he's saying that, everybody fucking deals with it.

“Well, I think it's the ones, it's a smaller fucker.”

But I think it's the ones that like bear themselves in the bottle. You know, it's like there's some guys that like bear themselves in the bottle. That's everybody. Yeah. He's an officer.

He's a general. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I guess he doesn't really fucking know, right?

He's just saying that. So he's the one that says he orders. I don't know his whole background, but he's a fucking four-star general. Yeah. You know what I mean?

So, I mean, he's pretty far. But I know some guys, I don't know. Like, I know some guys that are doing contracting work. Like, even with like, you know, I don't want to get into a details. But like, there's a big current thing going on right now and they're over there.

Mm-hmm. But they love it. They fucking. You get addicted to it, man. They fucking.

I mean, just like, you're talking about, I mean, that's where you've settled fine and you're going to parties.

“And you get addicted to fucking weapon people's ass, right?”

You get addicted to it. Dude, I fucking, I stabbed a guy here. Here's a knife to you. I fucking kill her. Like, you get, you get addicted to it.

You get addicted to it. You get addicted to the adrenaline. You get addicted to the killing. Some guys have killed so many people. I mean, it gets boring.

It's like, I'm not killed anybody with a water bottle before. You know what I mean? Let's see how that is. I'm going to knife this guy in the neck. I'm going to knife him in the car.

I'm going to use, you don't try to rip his liver. I don't want to hit him in the femoral down here. And it becomes like, how many different ways can I got to do? Yeah, well, he's telling me a story about the place that we can't tell. I don't want to get enough.

I'm fucking violent and you're going to trouble. But he was like telling me that like, they had to go and refrain someone from just smoking civilians. We're like, he would just like, they're contractive working. Like, he would just fucking shoot. But you're just fucking shoot people.

And like, we have to stop. Like, you can't just go fucking shoot people. Like, you just can't go like, like some people, man.

“Some people are just like, they're just, but you know what it is?”

You're really just, I'm not. But it's like, I wasn't. But like, I can, I could use like metaphor like, like theology. Like, you all, everybody starts off with like a soul. Like a really good like soul, right?

And every time you do a bad deed, you like, you kind of to roam that part of you. Like, every time you push, you envelope of something horrible to do. You kind of like, you erode that and you kind of like, you kind of take it away from you. So I think with people with PTSD, especially with like, when you have a victim mentality, I would actively try to erode my goodness, right?

Because like being good never got me.

Being good got me like, I was fucked up. I was a victim. Like, that was like, I was sad. I was fucking scared, I would cry. Like being good.

That good little soul that you have that you're born with. And I'm not religious, but like, I picture be like, you know, like a little glowing fucking ball inside you. Like, good little soul that you have when you're a kid. It's so innocent. It's so innocent.

And then as life and adults and the cigarettes and like, as as you become an adult and like, these fucked up people, like, can you just touch your soul a little bit? And they just, they make you feel like such a victim that we're like, you want to talk about like the anti-social degenerates, like the conduct disorder. You start realizing that like, it's bad.

Like this good little, this good thing you have in you that like you care about when they and you care about like the victim. Like, it doesn't get you anywhere. Just like, it only makes, it only puts you in a bad place. So like, you start growing up and you just start like carbon away and just just chip and away at it. I don't want this anymore.

It's not good. Like, I don't want to be sad. I don't want to be a fucking victim. Like, I don't want this anymore. Take it out of me.

I take it. Take it the fuck out of me. So you start like doing things to just like scar yourself. Like, whether it be like you come in a hate crime or like you violate the rights of others or like you kill a fucking animal. You just start doing these and then like it starts after a while like it feels good.

And then you start pushing the envelope of like, well, I want to know what this like you said with the bottle. I want to kill somebody the bottle. You start pushing the envelope of like, what bad deed can I do to like start making me feel something. And after a while you just like, you're just so fucking numb.

You just like, I could do anything. I could fucking I could kill anybody. I could fucking I could do anything right now and I could sleep like a baby tonight. But that's what you want, right? That's what your body.

Like you got to be a hard man.

Like you're in a different world dude. Like, but you got to be able to do any horrible act and go to bed fine. And if it feels good after a while, you're like, oh man, dude. I'm like, whether you're sleeping with random women, whether you're like violating the rights of others like after a while you're good.

I'm good. I don't know I feel fine. So I think that's like, you know, talking about like PTSD and like you're talking about like, what could I kill me with? It's a bottle.

It. You just start shipping away at that like little goodness inside you.

“And once it's gone dude, once it's gone, life is nice.”

It's it's worse because you're miserable, right? You're fucking miserable and like you hate life, but it's like, but it's like, but it's a misery you like. I wouldn't say it's nice. I mean, everything.

It all gets fucking boring. You know, like, but like I said, great. It's a great childhood. But it's boring. But it's boring.

But now it's boring now because it's like your Sean Ryan, the podcast with the family.

That's not what I'm talking about. I got so fucked up. And I hated, I hated being in this country because I couldn't get as dark as I needed to be. And so I packed up my shed and I moved to Columbia, South America.

And I lived down in Medellin for like five years. But part of you misses that, right? No. You don't miss it at all anymore. Do you miss kids?

Yeah. I got a family. I got kids. But you down there, dude, I just felt empty. Yeah.

I was like, this is like, what am I? I just felt empty. Like, there was no, there was no good. Like, no good. It was.

Dude, I mean, yep, was it a good time for a while? Yeah, it was a good time for a probably about two or three years. And then.

That's some point you just liked.

“And then it was like, how many more like women am I going to bring in here?”

Yeah. Like, shit's as weird as it can possibly get now. Like. Yeah. Like everything you can imagine, I've done.

Yeah. And then I started like, like, I got into Coke. And I started, I was like, how deep into this network? And I infiltrate. Yeah.

And I started infiltrating cocaine networks and figuring out how it works. And like fucking slapping dudes around down there. Hoping that would get killed. Hoping. Like, like, just, I would bring calculator down there.

Because of, you know, I've even been down to South America. If you go down there, there's a white boy. Yeah. It's a sin for them not to rip you off. You know, and so I would go to the co, I would go by Tom.

I guess not tons of Coke. I'm not like. Now are you doing it for a little bit? No, you're trying to party. Both.

Okay. No, no, no, no, not work. It wasn't work. It was. It was like feeding.

Yeah. Dude, it was feeding my adrenaline. Work was Middle East. This was. Yeah.

You know, this was totally different. But, um. But I, I would like. Pull up my iPhone calculator. And like, however many grams or whatever a buy and I would put it on my calculator.

And I would like, like, let's say if let's say I'm buying. I don't know. A hundred grams. I would try to put it on my calculator or 50 grams. I'd put it on my calculator.

Type in like four or five point. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. I'm gonna make it look like it was a scale. But, uh, and I'd slap them, you know, and, like, hoping, like- Yeah, but hoping, like, you got to look missing a little bit.

Fucking kill me. We got to miss a little bit, right? Tell me. Let's be honest. You got to miss it.

You got to miss that a little bit. Like, there are some parts of your mouth. I don't do it. Like, it just got, like, I just, you know, every time I will go into those areas, I'd be like, every moment, every motorcycle, a little drip by me.

I'd be like, all right. This is it. They're going to drill me in the back of the head. I know it. They're going to drill me in the back of the head.

- You know what I mean? - They said there's too little bit. - Now, when did were you religious dinner after? - No, I wasn't religious. Does that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,

- I see that, but I'm saying like at some point, like now you, like you value peace and like you don't want to be a piece of shit. So it's like, like, did you like, what was your come to Jesus moment? And like, you know, man, like, I'm, I'm over the shit. I'm too old for the shit.

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That Shopify.com/sRS. Well, I went down, I mean, I was calling my parents and telling them I'm going to die down there.

“When I remember, like I said, I had a good upbringing.”

I have a good relationship with my parents, but the seal teams and the contracting stuff it said, I fucked me up. And I just became addicted to adrenaline.

So I would go down there and you can do whatever you want.

And I mean, I was making, maybe like 200, 250,000, a year of contracting back then, which was great, more money than I'd ever fucking made. And especially back then, whatever, tooth out late. And yeah, a lot of fucking money.

Yeah, and so I could buy my way out. I had any trouble that I got it. You know, the cops would have rescued me. I'd wind up in jail on the way to jail. I'd just pay him off.

Like, hey, let's stop at this ATM. I'll give you a couple of thousand dollars and top myself Spanish. I totally immersed myself into that life style. And I owe data a couple times.

And I remember thinking, like I remember waking up and doing it was crazy, like down there. Like it was fucking crazy. I used to hang out these clubs that have cocaine. What about you moving your identities up in hard?

Like, because that was your identity for so long. And now you're kind of like the guy. Yeah, but nobody knew what dude. Nobody knew it. It was just girls and strippers and hookers

and like, and then I would come back to the Saints and nobody knew what the fuck I was doing. You know what I mean? Some people did, but you're not locked. You're not locked into a--

I'm just like, I'm gonna die down here. Like, what is my life even fucking me? And I got run out of there by their version of the feds. And I can't say a scape in a vision, but I just got out because I got tipped off that they were on me.

No, you weren't on their work, and you're just on their party. Or a little bit of a bulls. Oh, you're just on the party. Yeah. Okay, you're one of those guys.

You're one of those kind of savages. Yeah. Oh, it was not like, it wasn't work. It wasn't--

“I think like, you've never been to Columbia”

and everyone's fucking mean to you. It's because fucking people like this. When you go to Columbia. I mean, I just, I just, like, that's just like you're talking about, man, you would show up to a high school party

and crack dudes in the face. Like, I would show up to-- Oh, yeah. --the most dangerous neighborhoods in Columbia and wezel my way in and like, be partying with these fuckers.

A two, three, four, five, six in the morning. Going three or four, five days straight, you know? I mean, I remember like partying in places you'd look up and you could see like the water. You know, it was like those, uh, created, like, uh, like,

like 10 roofs, you know what I mean? And the 10 wouldn't even be matched up. So you could see the sun rays coming in. It was just disgusting, man. It was disgusting.

Yeah, why could see why? I could see why you wanted to miss that, you know? But like, maybe like the CAA contract and where do you miss that? No, I don't miss any of the anymore now, shit. I mean, my life's totally different now.

You know, I don't like-- by my manager, it's hard for a lot of events, right? Like, oh, that, like, yeah.

“But you have to be willing to let it go.”

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, now. What do I mean, I, my adrenaline gets fed in different ways. Now, you know?

So, you know, I have to watch myself and be aware of what the fuck I'm doing. But like, all, I mean, we're talking about being unfiltered at the beginning. That can get you-- That can give you an adrenaline. That can give you an adrenaline.

So I'm fucking white here where you live, dude, so if it's, when you, I mean, when you're

calling out the most powerful people in the world on a, on a platform--

In your, hey, you're becoming that guy, bro. You're one of the most powerful guys now. You're voice-- I mean, you, like, is it crazy where, like, your voice could change elections now? Well, they didn't change it for the better. But, yeah, I'm not fucking scum on that one.

So, I mean, it just-- but I'm aware of, like, I'm aware of that part of me.

You know what?

“And I got to real myself and still to this day, like, you know, I'm like, are you doing this?”

Because it's actually like the righteous thing to do. Like, we're doing this because you're like chasing that adrenaline rush. Because I'll do it. And then it gets released. And I'm like, there it is.

I can feel it. And then I get fucking paranoid. And, you know-- I don't like to travel out my wife because if the long run without her, like, the more I'm, like, the more I'm, like, falling back into who I am. It's like, um, she, like, do you know how my wife grounds me?

It's like, if it wasn't for her, no, I'd be such like, even being who I am now, you would have a very different version of who I am now. Like, you would have a fucking completely different fucking version. But even, like, when I travel on my wife, so I was out training in Florida, like, it just, like, that, like, such creeping back in, the boredom starts creeping back in. And once I get bored, it's like, it just starts, like, I go home and I hit my recenter and I'm like, wait, no, no, dude, dude, this is you.

This is you, man. You have a mortgage, like, you got a fucking dog, you're a wife, and I'm family one day, like, this is you. But if I travel on my wife a lot, it's like, really, I, like, ground you. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, even, like, I was walking through, like, this cute little fucking city we're under. And they're like, oh, like, the nice white people walking I'm wish you were there.

What's up, way, man? I'm so fucking boring, no threats, no, like, no, like, there's no danger. It's just, like, walking through the street, like, I can't fucking anybody up. There's no potential violence. You're just like, fuck, I'm ready to commit suicide right now.

I fucking my hair. (laughter) Did you get place to raise kids back? Yeah, dude, right? It's a really good place to raise kids.

Yeah, life would probably love it here.

Oh, yeah, no, she would, she always, she's from upstate New York.

So she's always trying to go back, but I just can't deal with fucking, I can't deal with fucking liberals. And then, um, the New Yorkers are kind of dicks, even the upstate, the East Coast.

“I think it's like, um, the Northeast in general, the Northeast in general is just a different vibe.”

Yeah, they're just fucking dickheads here, like, I was in a liquor store and there was a black guy buying, like, a fucking, you know, my lottery tickets on the way over here. But, oh, super cool, man, real nice guy. I was talking about life, you don't get that in the Northeast. Like, they're just fucking dicks.

I don't know, I don't know why, I've actually put a lot on. I think it's just like, overly educated people or just like, away from violence. Like, um, because like, when you're like, when you're, when you don't have the education and, like, North East is all about education, I think schools, like, it's a different class of fucking people in the Northeast. Not like New York, New York's a shit hole, but we're talking about like 99% of New York.

Like, when you meet a man in the, like, the ghetto, you look at him and you acknowledge him. And you say, hey, I'm not a friend. Like, I'm not an enemy. Like, so when I go and I walk and I see a man and like, whether it be black, Mexican, or like, some kind of trashy, like, I'll look at him and say, what's up? I see you, you see me, like, we're two men, like, I'm not here to fucking kill you, like, what's up?

But when you're in the, like, when you're in like the Northeast, I don't think they're violent. I don't think they're violent people. So it's like, when you're in these nice white communities, there's no need to, like, there's no need to let me know that you're not a threat. Mm-hmm. I just find a fucking boring. I hate it. Fucking hate it. Do you think you're hated if you have kids?

“I think I'll just sack up and just fucking be born and white, you know?”

I think I'll just sack up, fucking sack up. Because I know who I know what I want to do, like, the same as you, like, well, you're different than, but what I want to do is not good for me. It's not good for my, not good for who I am. And I miss it. Sometimes I think I'm nicely, we just go fucking dying a whole and just, like, but you have to allow yourself to enjoy life to, man.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's work you have to give it a chance. Yeah. I don't know, man. I just so high, it's fine, it's so fucking boring. Like, even if I'm allocating, like, if I'm, like, watching a fucking sunset, if I'm like getting a cup of coffee, like, I just, but it's because your mind's racing, you can't sit with yourself. I'm so violent, you know, it's like, and this is why I train so much like, I'm so fucking violent.

But what's going on through your head? You don't even, when you're, when's the last time you sat

with yourself and you sat still? You probably can never do it. I was just fucking zoned on my phone.

I'll use my fucking dopamine addiction. But no, I, like, I know it is. I'm just so fucking violent. Like, I can't, like, I can't, like, I can't tell you, like, I don't know what it is, like, with other people, but I can not be in a fucking place and just not want to, like, violate the rights of others. Like, I just, I'm a fucking violent. Do I just can't, like, it's all I want to do. It's like, if I'm in, it's like, I just, I want to feel, like, I'm sure, you know, like, like, you know, like,

when you hit some of the glove on, it's like a different kind of time. Like, it just, like, you could feel it on your knuckles, like, it's all like, I'm just violent. I can't stop thinking about it. But not violent. Do you think about, like, why that? Why you're like that? Just condition, you know, it's like, I'm just conditioning, like, a dude is because that's where you feel at home.

revert, like, why do you think women that are in abusive relationships and get the shit knocked out of them and raped and done it? Like, they go from one abusive relationship to the next abusive

relationship to the next and they never fucking get out of it. Because they never work to give

anything else. No, I work. I'm going to waste you. I'm going to, why go to nice dinners and ships, like they all, they all revert. They, they revert back to what they know because what they know

“is home. And they know how to handle it. And that's what, in my opinion, no, you're under here.”

That's what I mean, I agree with hurting to what I'll go in function. Like, I'll just go sit there and, like, smile and ask my wife, I should do any wife, tell me about, tell me about, tell me about your day, tell me about your dream, tell me about the fucking house you're cleaning, you know? Like, I sit there and I smile when I listen to it. But like, yeah, dude, you know what it is. Like, you fucking know how it goes. But yeah, so long story short, I get arrested. I hit these guys.

I went to, and then I got, I went to, uh, I was going to core, I was buying two felony GBI's,

which weigh over time, maybe they know what would charge me. So I, uh, had to get Bell bondsmen. So I had to, I took a short notice fight on South Africa and in South Africa and Kina Cage to pay my Bell bondsmen. I got done fighting. I, uh, the core case got done to years later. I'm like, 22 years old. My life fucking continues to suck. I'm still fucking broke. I'm still riding a bike

“to the gym. I walk into like a walk. I walk into recruiters again and they say, hey, I don't know.”

Is this thing still available? They said, yeah. And I said, but I've been arrested now. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I've been arrested. Uh, and they're like, would you get a charge war? And I was like, well, I got charged with two, uh, salt and battery with a deadly weapon. Now, my guy's just fucking laughed at me. So get the fuck out of here. Like, you know, military's real complicated. It was like a salt charges. It's, uh, it's kind of a big no no, apparently. So they just laugh, which is weird because

like, you know, you want people like, but then I realize you don't want people like me because like people like me or lie to all these, you know, like they want like you're the best candidate, great household. You could be molded. You, you have like a, you know, you could be molded. Like you have an inclination for violence. Like you're the best candidate for the military. Not muted. I'm like the guy that goes like fucking, I'm like the guy to do with some horrible act and like, oh, yeah,

this is a fucking guy. He did this horrible act. Now he's in fucking jail because he's in fucking retard. But uh, so yeah, after that, then I was like, well, I guess I'm a fighter now. And then I got signed a UFC and then the rest of the history just kept fighting and I rest of the history. Dude, how long was your dad in the picture? So my dad was in the picture for me and my mom had like a pretty close relationship. Now, not so much. I still love my mom, but I kind

of look back like now I talked or just kind of put sort of bad fucking wrist to love my mom. Final blamer, you know, it's like we're all just products of our, you know, the sense of our father as they, as you would say, uh, he was in the picture for, he was in the picture to us about 17. My mom, I woke up. Obviously, it was a very full time fire at the time. My mom trying to go for work. My dad like had her and locked up in the bedroom and, you know, saying, hey,

you fucking, you're bang your boss. You can't leave. So I'm like 17 years old. I go walk in and I

just beat the fuck out of him. My mom leaves. There's not the first time I did that. Yeah, first time

did that. It was like, it was the most depressing thing ever. You know, it's like, man, you really, he's like, land the floor bloody with a broken nose. Like, bro, you really like, you ruined my boogie man on my, all my entire life dude. You ruined the one that like fucking ruined my life. And you're just a pathetic fucking piece of shit. But, um, he, he kind of changed. So for the younger, for the younger guys, there was like an opioid epidemic. It's way less now. But like,

they were just given now. Like, during the Afghanistan time, right? They were just given now. They were just given everybody out, fucking opioids. So, uh, that was like the biggest change of

“my dad with the opioids. Like, I remember walked home and he's just like fucking snored and viking”

in on the kitchen counter. I was like eighth grade. So once that, once about seventh grade, he's seventh eighth grade. When he started, it's kind of ironic because he opened an epidemic happen right by Afghanistan. I'm not being conspiracy. But it's kind of like the timeline of it's very fucking strange, right? So he, uh, once you get one of the opioids and the soul has soul just vanished just a week, fucking man. Like, opioids are like, opioids are like, I mean, if there was a

Satan, it's opioids. Like, it takes fucking everything from your identity, which for his case is probably better. So yeah, then my mom moved out. I live in my mom's apartment. You know, I go sleep in my brother's house. I'll sleep on couch. It just can do the fucking poor man

I remember like, uh, he was doing a hospice on my brother's house. And, uh, I was I was like, I'm probably early 20s. And, uh, I even know why or what I wanted to do with, I was going to post it. I wasn't going to post it. But my brother's like crying in the corner. My dad's laying there fucking dead a cancer. He had so much cancer that, uh, it was the doctors like, how did you

“not know that you had so much cancer? Like, how did you not know something that was wrong with you?”

And then we were so fucked up by an opioid, you didn't know. So, uh, that's always a funny story

to my dad one day. Somebody, people always like, oh, Sean got sexually assaulted. And I never fight it because like, so many people have had to happen to you. And it's like, no, fuck you. It means that happened. It doesn't fucking matter. Your piece of shit. No, bring it up. But, uh, one day, my dad comes up to me as he's dying of cancer. Like, it's come to Jesus moment. Because, you know, Sean, you know, I was really bad at you and your mom and your brother.

But I didn't molest you. I like, let's fuck dude. I guess he could have been worse. Man, he's not fucking me, dude. It's a good man way worse. So, my, my dad's fucking dead now, laying a cancer in the hospice. And, uh, he's like frail, you know. And, like, snack a picture. I was like, I don't know why. I just like, it was a moment of like, this dead body of this piece of shit. Like, there was a part of me that wanted to just like, there was a part of me that

just wanted to like, have him in that moment forever. And I just like, my brother got so he's like,

“my brother's crying in the corner. And he's like, it's like, it's a piece of fucking, what are you doing?”

You're just like, why did you take it? And they got me, we got him down. It's gonna find a fucking delete it. But there was a part of me that was just like looking as dead fucking body. I was like, I just want to save her this moment. You know, I just want to like have this in my phone. And just like, so I could like look back on it. And I'm as like now it looked back and very differently. But so yeah, that's pretty much it. How do you look back out of now?

There's a different, that's the father, you know. It's um, it's alcohol man. I tell anybody like, it's a, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's well-wilded. I'll falsely go America. Like I'm a libertarian. I think she'll buy Matthew going by math, but man, it is so fucking wild. I don't either have a drink. One of the things that saved me from not drinking and doing drugs was my grandfather was so racist. And like, even the American history action,

now they would like, there's a scene where they get mad at them for doing drugs. So I always thought

that like drinking and drugs. Well, one, everybody in my dad, which I hated. And then it was reinforced by like, I thought the drugs were from black people. So I never did it. Wow. And so that was like my racism. I always say like, I always say that if there was a devil, if there was a devil man, he's fucking, he's always helped me through life, you know. Like it was never God. Like the devil on my shoulder, they're always like, all the worse and wrong thing I could do. But like,

“if there was that, if there was a devil, like when I was a kid, it was the only thing that kept”

me going, you know. Damn dude, that's some dark shit. Well, I remember religious, but it's like it's true. Like that little devil inside you that like, that hardens you and makes you prepared

for life and like makes you like, cycle path. Like it was always there with me. But uh,

jibber think about what happens when you die. No, I don't know. I like my thing with the Bible, dude, it's just like, it's just so hard for me to think that like this small little region, figured it out and like, you know, and then you have like the Jews had the original and then the Christians came and they were like, no, this is it and then the Muslims came, like, this is it, it's like, and they have a whole rest of the world. I don't, I do believe in like creative design.

Like you can't look at existence and be like, like, I can't look at this and be like, maybe this is my brain can't fathom then. I can't look at this and be like, this is all just random. So I do believe in creative design and like intelligent design, but after that, you don't know. You don't think about what happens after you die. You've never thought about it. I mean, I'm trying to ought to, you know, like what happens what you do. I mean, you could just be a

black screen. That would be the worst. Well, actually, that wouldn't be the worst, but but you say that, but it's like you say that, but like, you wouldn't know. But it also, like a moment of peace, like you just had peace, like you don't exist anymore. You know, it's like, no pain, like you're good. Do you just, so are you atheist? No, I'm just like an agnostic. I don't know. But like, there is something like poetic about like, not existing anymore. You know, it's like,

like it sounds like re-carnation, like I would fucking hate that. What if I get re-carnated in my own life?

don't fuck a re-carnated. Don't be what I'm fucking holy. Pull me out of them.

But, uh, yeah, I don't know, man. I just, yeah, I don't know. I just, I mean, like, when you, how do you wrap your head around all the theologies and like the Eastern European, and like, or like the, the, the, the, the East religions, and like there's so many fucking different. And like, I don't, I don't, I just go off my own experiences. But that makes sense. You know, and, and, uh, I'm no theologian. I'm not going to pump you full of scripture or anything like that. But

I've just had too many things happen, man, that like, did, but I have the same questions,

“not to the degree that you do, like, if there's a God, why am I going through this right now?”

What I mean, I have this, I've seen shit, you know what I mean? And not, not in childhood, but in war, like, done things and experienced things. And I mean, I should be Ted 10 times over right now, like, I've tried to kill myself from my garage. And, uh, like, I just declined the seat back and left the car running and woke up in my room. And the whole gap, the whole house, I'll like exhaust those gasoline. I'm like, what the, how old is this? Who's after the agency? So

probably low to mid 30s? Yeah, you're just like, I fucking, I'm, I'm empty. I just, well, just like, you're talking about, dude, like, I just, I had nothing. Yeah, like you can do something. But you started thinking, like, like, nothing is better than what I have now. You know, it's like, I just, like, if I don't, like, yeah, I might be dead, but like, I shouldn't be here. You know what I mean? Like, I shouldn't be here. I went down there and my, it was, it got so hot,

because I closed the grunt, you know, I, I've done the thing, dude, in my, my, the, it had melted a hole into the gas tank. How long were you thinking about before you did it? I don't know.

“No, I'm saying, like, still like, how long was I thinking about committing suicide?”

I mean, I don't always thought about it, but I never really, like, went very far. I was, like,

this is how I'm going to do it. I was, why I did this at the Blue Martini and Boko Retone Florida, blacked out drunk. Don't know how I got home. Don't remember dealing it. Don't remember anything. I mean, thank God, it didn't happen. Yeah. But, like, I, I've always been back in mind for a while, and then you're just, you know, fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, I did the thing. Yeah. And I'm still here. You know, I've had, like, a lot of stuff happened to you. I mean,

yeah, you fucking shot at a bomb bomb, yeah, of course, bro. Not that. Not that. That's not like this. That's not like this to me. That was combat. This was something woke my ass up that I don't remember. Took me out of that fucking garage, brought me upstairs. And even when I went inside, dude, I went inside. And I, like, what I woke up, the whole house smelled like gas, like, exhaust, came down, saw the pistol on my couch, the pistol that I don't carry. So I got the

say it was a big gal. It was like a 45. And I was like, I never, I don't, I'm broken. I, I don't shoot

my 45, you know what I mean, 45 ammo is expensive. And I'm like, oh, so all my clothes are off. So I went and got a gun to blow my brains out, something and told me not to do that. Then I'm like, what is this fucking smell, man, is the neighbor's gas on or something like, what is the good happening? And I went and I touched a garage door with the door that goes out to the garage.

“The door was hot. And I was like, oh, I think I hear my car running. And so I'm like,”

maybe something's on fire. So maybe if I open the door, like, you know, the oxygen, I'll hit it, it'll blow me to some of the reason. So they're not trying to kill myself the next more. I didn't try to kill myself, but I was like, well, it happens great. Open the door. Nothing happens. I see my car run. And I look, the seat is totally reclined back. And the gas is dripping onto the muffler, the mufflers on fire. And I'm like, holy shit. So I mean,

I'm still drunk and drugged out on, on painkillers and ox and like, all of it, you know. And I'm like, so I'm not thinking straight. Now I know like, the, the, the, the dish on this wouldn't trigger anything. I'm like, if I hit the garage door, so it's going to spark. I'm like, not this whole place. And so I hit it. The garage door goes up. And I like pulled my car out of immediately. And I'm like, holy shit, dude, I'm all trying to kill myself like three times in a row here.

And, uh, and there's been like a lot of like weird, uh, just weird coincidences that have happened to me that the, the, the, one of them is, I mean, what I, I think, God, like, I don't, my life was like,

you, you're probably one of the most influential people right now. And like, uh, and like, uh, in the space,

you know, we'll do it. I mean, do you ever think about why you're here? What are you passionate about? Are you helping anybody? Well, as far as I can lead it out, but back to, like, the shoe side thing, um, there's a point in my life, or I think about one of person because something about it could not something about it. Like, um, driving a highway, thinking about it, just like, you start, like, really, like, making peace with the idea that, like,

what is better? Whatever happens is better than now. Yeah, you know, like, whatever happens is better than now. Now, as you know, as you see, just like, I used to fucking, do I, I thought the hurt, myself could have been better, right? Like, um, like, I could have sleep. Like, I just lay in bed,

I kind of sleep. So I'd go by, like, I like, I can't hold a big bonnet bed. I just like,

“hover my hand over the candle, just to burn myself. I could have sleep. Like, if the only thing”

that could help me sleep was if I was like, if I hurt myself, why, like, I try to shock machine, but it was really enough. It just lock you up. But like, uh, yeah, I could just, like, yeah, no, I mean, but the key is sobriety, right? So like, what people don't realize it, doesn't matter how fucked up you are. So, briety is like, what keeps you from going over the edge, because like, think about you, so that's fucking party and I got home. So briety is like,

when you're fucked up and you start lowering that end of an ambition wall, if I drank, dude, oh, I would, I'd be the fucking dead owner in prison, because like, once that, once that inhibition, that's what drinking, it doesn't lowers your inhibition. And so now you're just like, oh, I'm down to do anything. I mean, I can't even do, I can't even own a revolver, like, just like, I have one little 20 to revolver that I don't pull a fuck with, because I can't say,

every time I pick it up, I can't stop thinking about killing myself. So I was, uh,

“you should bring a bird of that. Well, I mean, I just, it's like ductane's all fucked. It's like a”

little shit one. So it's what I am, like, uh, I was younger, dude. I had to grow save my life, stay inside and fucking out of the three, I'm just fucking spinning it. I'm like, in my brain, I'm just talking to her, you know, I'm fucking grown up, Jackie, said my life, Jackie, thank you, spinning it, I put it around and then I'm just like talking to her, and I'm just like, hyper fixating on like playing Russian or L. I'm like spinning it, and I put it in, I'm like,

I still have this data, it gives me fucking chills, so I'm like, uh, I put the round in it, I spin it and I'm just like talking to her, I was like, do you, should I, I should do it? Actually, like, Sean, no, don't do it, don't do it. I was like, no, I mean, like, what are the odds? Like, one and six. Like, that's good odds. I take those odds, right? So fucking, I put the gun in my head and I'm like saying there, as I don't have a rat, I don't have

a cock yet. It was a double action, but I know it was a double single action revolver. And then, like, I'm working myself up to it, I'm working myself up to it, I'm working myself up to it, I'm fucking doing it, I'm fucking doing it. You're fucking pussy, like, and like, even though I'm having a car shaped as her, like, in my heart, like, I have like, I have every bit of like adrenaline and

“dope of me just being fucking saturated in my brain right now, and I fucking love it, right?”

Because it's like, you know, you're going to say you're addicted to adrenaline, like, you just have these, like, chemicals just saturating your fucking brain, and I fucking, like, cock it back dude, and she starts fucking crying and grabs gun out of my hand. So it's Chandler's fucking everyday, if you do, I'll leave you. And I'm like, let's just see what would have. It opened up, that's about to shoot myself in the fucking head.

That dude. Yeah, let me say my life dude, save my fucking life. But, like, I don't know why I'm around revolvers. I can't stop thinking about it. I do well on it. Like, I'm around revolvers.

It's like a game I never finished. So if I have a, if I have a revolver, I just like, it's a game I

never finished. Like, there's a part of me that just wants, I want one pool. There's what one fucking pool, you know? Just one, just, there's one pool. I just want to see it feels like, but that's right in the line. I mean, dude, I had to death wish for a long time. Like, we just talked about Chloe. I totally, I want to hug you. You get it, bro. But being like, yeah, you wanted to die down there. Yeah, you didn't want to die. I always thought it would be great.

Yeah, I fight dying combat. It's a adrenaline amazing. It's a great, a adrenaline, like, I think what it is when you go through so much trauma and, like, regardless of the fact of how well just as you are, when you're living at such a high baseline, everything else is just like, it's not enough. Like, when you're just going to your life, like, I'm a fucking dead body, right? I'm like, I'm a human meatbag, just existing and fucking this earth right now. Like, I would do

anything to feel that pool, the trigger. Like, it makes you want to cry because I love it. Like, I would do anything. I just want to feel that, like, I want to feel that again, you know?

you at level, it's just, it's so fucking. You're just existing. But going back to like,

“purpose when I'm done fighting, that's what I want to do. Like, when you help people,”

it's a different kind of feeling. Like, when you actually, not like, not like these stupid fucking influencers, like, here's a bag of money who's man, like, that's not to help me people. Like, you're just, you're doing this for, like, when you do a good deed and nobody knows about it, do it like, like, that little soul we're talking about earlier, that you chipped away at, that you like, that you, that you, that you fucking snuffed out every time you do, like, this random

good deed that nobody knows about. Like, you just feel like, it's like, it's like the engines being fucking trying to turn over again. So when I'm done, that's kind of what I want to do.

Just like, getting that kind of space, whether any kind of, like, self-help space, just like, kids,

anything, I mean, disaster relief, anything. So I want to make enough money to wear, like, I don't need money and then live modestly and then just kind of focus on something like that.

“Just because it's the only thing that, like, makes me feel like I fucking, you know,”

it's the only thing that makes me feel like I'm not going to want you to walk when I'm done. Well, it's funny. I mentioned that because I mean, we're talking about God and, you know, to mean, it's nasty and all these things. And I mean, and why would God allow, you know, you to go through that as a kid. We'll do it. Look at what you're talking about, man. And look how influential you are now. Like, you have, like, every fucking kid in the country,

anybody who watches MMA affiliated with MMA, they all look up to you, man. All these kids look

up to you or we just went over the same thing as the journey out though. And we just went over how many kids who experience this shit and they have nobody to look up to and you're the fucking guy that's one and four. You're the guy who made it out of that. Look at what you made out of yourself. Yeah. And so whenever you do decide to get involved, hopefully, you know, I mean, with whatever you want to do, but let's say you go down that Avenue and you start,

dude, you're, you're a huge influence to kids that are going through that and they fucking see you, dude. And then they know there's a way out, whereas you didn't know there was a way out, man. Well, now these kids can look at you and they can say Holy shit, like, that dude went through that. Maybe it was worse than what I went through. And if he went through that, then I could fucking

“get out of this. And that's how God works, dude. That's how he works.”

You may, but, you know, man, like, I don't know about God or that. I just know that, like, when you, when you help somebody, feels good, doesn't it? It's a, it's a different kind of piece that you don't get from sex from violence. Like, it's like, it's a feeling that you get that feels real. Like, every time you have like sex or violence, it's a drop. It's a fucking drug. But when you do something good, it's like a different kind of feeling, man. It's like, it's,

it's fucking real. I mean, what it is, but it's like, it's God broke. I don't know about that. But either way, man. So you're not open to it. You got to be open to it to feel it to let it end. Yeah, but I mean, my thing is though, like, the whole, like, Christian God, you know, like, I might say that it's not a God and there isn't a God, but like, it's so hard for me to buy and to, like, the Bible, dude, like, and then, like, the old fucking testament, the fucking

Korean, like, fucking the fucking Judaism, like, you know, like, oh, yeah, cut the force cannot. Don't even fucking pork, dude. Send the fucking she bears, like, if you delve into it, or you just reading shit online, I am really dove in. I will say to you, if I had to pick religion, I am like, and I say this, I'm not like, I'll talk about God and Christ. I am like, I think that America is like a religion of Christ. Not only is it religion of Christ, like,

Christianity, Bill America, like, different sex of Christianity, but like, the New Testament Christ, like, everything, like, one of the greatest figures of America, like, it is a beacon of around America, and I think that one of the biggest issues we have is we're going away from that. Me, someone who grew up in eight this, you know, eight years, like, one of the biggest issues, like, we're losing our heritage, like, Christianity, Christmas, the New Testament, like, that's the

heritage of America, and it's just like, but I also, like, I think that they're actively trying to, like, erode America from within, like, the illegal immigration, like, this kind of funny, so I wore ice hat, I'm like, super pro ice, the only one thing Trump fucking did, right? And I was talking to somebody at the, like, the PI, you know, super liberal, very sweet, sweet woman, and I was like, well, let me tell you about illegal immigration, like there's two coins of that,

me as a white man who invests money, I love it. Like, I love, like, as a Republican white man who

love illegal immigration? Like, I asked you, you're right, I should probably have a fucking Democrat.

“I'll make more money. They come here. They must work. They lower wages for, like, every blue”

caller, they come here. They lower wages. They must be house. I need to, I need tax write-offs. I have to go buy some this year. I got to buy a couple, doplexes. So guess what? I need people to burn them. They're going to, they're going to cost, they're going to make the cost of housing. Go up. More people need houses now. So I'm going to make more money. Guess what? These people come here. They got to buy shit. They got to buy apples. They got to buy cell phones. They need

fucking fuel. They need to buy some of America's biggest companies. We're guess what? I know some of America's biggest companies. I make a fuck ton of money with illegal immigration. But what doesn't,

what doesn't help is your kids. Your kids now. They're competing with people that would do more

for less. They're competing with people that want to live next to you. They're, like, they're, they're saturated in the workforce. They, like, illegal immigration is making your life significantly harder. And you've been, like, sold this bill of, like, no, but, like, Republicans and mind your George Bush was, like, Republicans are the biggest fucking advocates of illegal immigration. Like, they, you make up, you make more money. You make more money. It's like, this is why there's such

this massive wealth transfer transfer, because you just make more money with illegal. So anyways, you're going to explain this. Like, you, you, you are making your life for your children significantly harder by voting for open borders. But like the liberal, they just can't grasp it. They just can't, like, they're so programmed to think that, like, Trump is bad, like, enforcement of borders are bad. Like, you just can't separate them. But I think it's also been, like, an active, like,

campaign to do it. You know, we'll start it off with a racing Christianity. And now we're talking about illegal immigration. But, um, I mean, I don't disagree with the, I think they're trying to

“race it, because it's a value system that they want destroyed. I think that's what all the alien”

shit is. But also, too, like, I mean, I hope you're honest with the where, like, illegal immigration is only good for rich people. If you are blue collar, if you are, like, the average working man, a legal, illegal immigration is a way to devalue your life. And if you're rich, you only make money off of it. It's a way to transfer wealth from bottom to top. I see what you're saying.

I mean, I've never really thought of it that way. But even legal immigration, you know, in

the same way when the H1B visas and all that kind of stuff, which I'm not, that's just, I'm not against. Yeah, the back of that Christianity out of the hand. Because I think that, you know, I think that we should, we should steal the best in class for everyone and bring them here. But when you get when you, you know, in the same way, H1B busy, when you bring really smart tech people from India, in, I mean, that destroys the chances of people here. Yeah, I mean, with, with there's a

“destroy it. It was within the trees. It was within the trees. It was within the trees. And you should”

take the best one. But yeah, no, but yeah, back to Christian and like in the vats and training. So guys, getting a little fucking ADHD, the CT, I gotta go do the, what's the drug, the abrogane? I guess I'm doing abrogane. All right. No, but this is what I like training with vats. I tell them, you guys gotta train. Like, um, like, uh, I have a lot of friends that are vats. Like, she's got a train man. Life's so much better than the gym. You're around. What do you think? Who do you think you would

help? Like, when you're all wrapped up with this? I can do what I could learn to do anything. I don't care. I could fucking, I could go help people rebuild a house. I could go help kids and I could, I could do anything. I just want to be in a position to where like, I could give back, right? So it's like, I just don't find like, say where to go start a brand or a company or something. I just start, so I don't find enjoyment in there. Like, I don't want to go sell fucking an energy drink. I don't

want to go like sell nicotine. I'm not going to do that, but it's like I just do the fun of it. But I just like, there's no fulfillment in that. What I want to do is like, whether it be like disaster relief, helping kids and me, like inner cities. Like, I just, I feel like it's my duty to get back. And also, too, like, I mean, I have so much like love from fans. Like, you know, I have like a different relationship with fans and most people do. Like, um, like, even like

an NFL players, like, or other UC fighters, like me and my fans, like, we have like a very, like, close relationship. Like, so I feel like the least I can do is just get back. You guys make me a paycheck. You want your bite, you bite fights. Like, you worked your fucking ass off to support me. If I sell product, you fucking buy my product. Like, the least I could fucking do is like, hey, I'm rich now. At least I could give back a little bit. So that's kind of what I want to do. I don't

know what it is. But something funny thing is, you want to give back because you like the feeling it gives you. It's not because of the fans, bro. It's because of the fucking piece that brings you.

but it's like, this is the issue with the world though, man. Like, nobody like gives a fucking more. Like, everybody is so fucking selfish and self-centered. That's like, it might do its hard life in kids, but like, nobody gives a fucking more. It's just, everybody is just like a doggy dog world. Like, churches becoming less. No one gives a fucking anymore. Like, even when like Charlie Kirk died, and this is how fucked up. I got like a lot of people

related me, but I'm not. I remember watching him fucking get smoked. And I was like, damn, that was fucking crazy. Like, my initial reaction was like, damn, like, oh, shit. Like, it was exciting. And then I think I said it. Like, man, I'm so morally bankrupt that I watched this guy die. And I thought it was like, the coolest one made my fucking day. I lied to my day. You're like, oh, shit, you know. And a lot of people had that same, and I think Charlie Kirk's a fucking hero.

And it's saddens me as like, I look back and saddens me. But I think I made, I think I made a joke

“right after you died, I think it said, like, well, without always say the best way to vote was with a rifle.”

You know, but I like, but then I laughed and I look back and like, if you're so morally bankrupt,

that like, you just watch a guy get fucking smoked on stage. And your first instinct was like,

oh, that was fucking cool. I want to watch it. And we all look at like, oh, same, it's like the George Carlin cart, like bad news. We all fucking love that shit. We love bad news. There are some people that watch it and like horrified. And like, oh, that's a fucking terrible thing. But like, I bet a massive percentage of this world or Americans watch that. And they were instinct, they got a little like, oh, shit. Oh, shit. Not, oh, that's so sad.

They had to do America. Just like, you're so, we're so like morally fucking bankrupt now. And I think a lot of it happened. How old are you? 43. So I think a lot of it was like the wars limit at least. And you see a lot of it with like, and I will like, I don't want to be the guy like video games caused it. But when video games intertwined with the military, it created a very different breed of people, right? So like year older than me, so you didn't really, you probably seen it,

but you didn't experience it. Like video games intertwined with the military. And you had like, I mean, like Call of Duty, we're like all day long. You're fucking a little kid and you're just fucking shooting people. Grand theft auto. And everyone's like, oh, like, you can't blame video games. Like, how do you think it is when little kids now are spending five hours of their day shooting people in the fucking head playing grandfather, being a hookers. Like, there's been like a

psi-op to slowly fuck people up and desensitize people. Like Americans are so fucking cropped and morally bankrupt. Now it's like, I don't even know how you fix it. It's everything, man. It's,

“but that's, you know, that's how evil works. It's Hollywood. It's the LGBTQ agenda and kids.”

It, you know, and how Hollywood portrayed that and how you can't have a legitimate acting career in Hollywood, unless you're willing to do a homosexual scene or a lesbian scene or promote those type of initiatives. It's social media. It's watching people, you know, that you know, personally,

would never, would never go for the shit. And then the next week, they're promoting it. And then

the next week, they're the host of the big show. I don't know. It's like, oh, I wonder what that happened. But I mean, it's, it's, the thing is, it's the porn industry. I don't believe it. I don't understand. I don't understand. We have the sponsor, I told him to go fuck themselves. It's all this stuff. It's all this stuff. It's all this stuff. But I was like, I don't give a fuck how much money. No money. You know, no amount of money in the world. You can offer me.

I would fucking do that. You could offer me fucking $10, $50 million. That's only fans offered you a sponsorship. Yeah. And as there's no amount of money in the world, you could offer me where I say yes.

“And like this, that's what I fucking love about you, man. You're like, you just, you know,”

you're scared of what you're doing. I got a gambling company that wants to sponsor me. And

like, a lot of money, too, where I like, I'm conflicted. But then I'm always like,

but then a part of me, where I'm like, dude, they fucking like sports gambling is you. See, we're talking to people gamble. But for me, it feels like it's wrong. But I'm like, it's part of the UFC. Yeah. But I kind of might do it. But, um, I mean, when you watch Charlie Kirk at Smoke, what would you remember your, like, gut reaction? My gut reaction was, if you met him? No, I never met him. My gut reaction was, um, he's not going to survive that. Yeah.

But like when you watch it, where you like, oh, shit, or you just like, what was your emotional state, your baseline? Was it like a pissed? I was pissed. My initial thought was, there's no way he's

And then, um, my other reaction was who did it? Who's, uh, I immediately started thinking like,

who did this? Yeah, it was because he was responsible for the amount of, like, the amount of influence he had over people was fucking wild. I remember like weeks after, I mean, people were finding God, like, it was a, it was a different, I was watching from like a very, like, neutral perspective. Like I was watching it from like very neutral standpoint. Like a part of it was like this is fucking crazy. Like, I kind of questioned the sanity of Americans. And I say that, and I say that like,

“again, I love Charlie. Everything Charlie says, even towards the end of this role, like the only thing”

that I, he fucking me off on was like in the beginning when he was a super-signist. But as he started

moving away from being a Zionist, like, man, you mean you, everything you said I agree with now. But like,

watching people's reactions to me was kind of fucking nuts. Like, maybe motherfuckers were finding God, like, people started changing their whole identity around Charlie. They, like, his rules were everywhere. I'm like, I just like, I don't know, I just kind of ran my head around. I was like, just so strange to me that, like, people are that influential, like, that people can be influenced so much. I think what's going on, man, because there's a huge revival happening in Christianity right

now, massive, massive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Again, I advocate for Christianity on time. I tell people when I fight, I talk about Christianity. If you, you could wake up tomorrow and become a Christian, I like, I wish you the best and like, we need more of that. Well, what's happening is there's just nothing that makes sense in the world anymore. Like, how do you make sense of anything that's going on with this administration? How do you make sense of anything that's going on with the last

difference from the White House student? I know. I mean, it's like, what? And honestly, they'll

“go into that, but that's what that's what the, I don't think that makes sense. I don't blame”

the book. I don't blame them for banning me because some asshole would have put a fucking camera in front of my face. And me, I would have been like that little voice pop my head guys. I'm just here, I'm not fucking kids. Like, I'm just fucking here watching fights. So I don't know. I think it's absolutely absurd that you got banned from Trump's 80th birthday party. I mean, America's 250, that was celebrated on Trump's 80th birthday party 20 days before the America's

250. Yeah. So what a fucking bunch of bullshit. After the fight, it's actually on video as like hunted. Like, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, if I say, yeah, we're going to done. I'm like, sweet, man. Let's go. Because like, to me, I could like separate politics and people. Like, like, I, I, I'm that Trump. He's, he's a nice fucking guy. He, he's sincere with his actions. He, like, he asked you a question. And, you know, maybe it's years of like being Trump.

But if you meet him, you will like him. He, he is a nice fucking guy. He will ask you questions sincerely. And, again, you've met Trump. Do you know what I mean? It was out here. Did you get that take? That's very charismatic guy. Yeah. Yeah, I did like him. I don't have more. But like, even, like, but even me, like, I just understand, like, I don't, I don't really hate people. Like, I don't I don't hate people in a sense. Like, um, so like, after, uh, after Charlie died, like you said,

I want to find that guy who ever did that and like, you had this thing of like hate, like, it's so natural, right? You're seeing this beloved guy, a family guy died, but like, maybe it's because I'm so like disconnected to things. Like, I just don't like, I just don't have it in me. Like, I mean, I get to go do a horrible act and not hate, but it's like, so what I mean by that about like hating people, I just, my buddy. So I was on mine. I was

like, maybe it's because I'm so disconnected. I just don't want you to just don't, like, there's nobody I've met as an object that I hate or dislike. Like, you take some weird fucking

“training that like cuts his dick off and like, like, I think you're fucking mentally ill. I think”

you're fucked up. I think that you are an enemy of America. I think that you are a bad guy for America, but I don't fucking, I don't hate you. Dude, a lot of them grow up like you. I brought one on her. Like, I just, I want to understand. I brought Chris Beck. Did he retransition back? Yeah. And I saw I brought him on because I mean, obviously, he's been ostracized from the seal

teams, but I was like, I've always been kind of naturally like, how can somebody like do this to

themselves? Like, how does it work? Like, what's going on mentally? What's the psychology behind this shit? And he grew up like you did. And he was the whipping boy of the family. He got sexually molested. He was got the shit beat out of him every single fucking day. He became a seal, left the

and every other drug you can think of. And he, so he wanted to get better. He started going to therapy.

“Does he believe in crash now as he Christian now? Yes. And people when he brought it up in therapy,”

I told you always goes back to childhood. And he had mentioned in the therapy section and the

therapy session that when he was a kid, he would go up to the attic and put on his sister's dress and skips it. He was like, really secretive about it. He didn't want anybody silly. He put on the dress and look at himself in the mirror. And the psychologist or psychiatrist, whichever it was, convinced him that he wanted to be a woman. And, and, and had him write the book, the warrior princess. And while he was baked out on coke and all the other drugs had him sign

the rights to the book over to her. And he didn't want to go through with the book. And she was like tough shit, buddy. You signed the rights over. I own it and released it. And when he came on the show,

he's like, dude, I never wanted to be a woman. He's like, I never wanted to change. He goes,

when I was a kid, he goes, this all got sunk in my head. And then I got accepted. The LGBTQ community like love bombed me and I've never felt like that amount of love ever in my mind. I understand that. And he goes, all I want, all he goes, the only reason I went up to the attic to put my sister's dress on,

“he goes, it's because I just didn't want to be me. And he goes, that's the only way I could feel”

that I could escape like those feelings of being molested by the neighbor and being the shit kicked out of me, my fucking dad, every single day of my life. And he goes, so I would sneak up there and put that on. And that's the only way that I could pretend that I wasn't me. And when you hear that, it's like, it's just like, I don't like, I don't fucking hate these people. Like, I think they're meant to you. And I think they're fucked up. But like, just said to hate somebody to me, I just don't

have it. Like, I just don't have it in me. Like, if you right now, if you said there's a pedophile, I don't hate him. I would take a gun and shoot him in the fucking head and I'd probably enjoy the active doing it. But it's like, you're just like, I don't really have that much, I don't really have that much hate in me these days. It's just like it just, it's over. So like when you're talking about like, um, you feel, you feel like people need an identity, you know, like, and the him game

love bomb by the LGBTQ community, like him, absurdity that identity, you know, like we had an identity. It was Christianity. That was our identity. People would wake up and they would, you know, they would they would wake up and they'd look at the sun and their identity would thank you for giving me my son. You know, if they would drink water, they would think that was our identity. And now you could just have, like, these godless people, they're just stumbling through the earth,

there's your identity. And it's just like, it's engineered, man. It's engineered. It's an agenda. But, you know, back to the Trump. I get why he didn't, I wouldn't, I would have banned me too. I would have banned me too. I just don't have it in me to, like, just shut the fuck up. Like, they would have put a camera on my face. I would have made a joke. Fuck, I would have probably made a joke to Trump, do you know? You know, what I will say to like, it's, it is kind of

crazy to do how mainstream that how unpopular Trump is, because I'll go to places like a woman's floor, and I'm going to text this guy. Like, when we're talking about, like, hard-core Republicans. And even these guys are like, I just, I can't do anymore Trump. I just like, I feel fucking betrayed. And like, Trump, to me, everyone's like, like, I was talking this, like, really wealthy guy about, like, I ran using a fuck at whatever I don't care. I'm like, dude, you don't care because, like, you,

you're fucking a million, you're a multi-millionaire. As I do, you got to think about, like,

every other American and more forward a Texas that are making, like, what is the average, like,

“I think it's like $50, $60,000. So you take some of it making $60,000. And now you add four”

percent inflation, a metric fuck ton of gas. You're adding thousands of dollars a year to their, to their life. Like, you are, like, rushing families. Like, not me, me, me, we don't give a fuck. Yeah, yeah, that's going to be a hundred dollars. We don't give a fuck. But it's like, the people that have voted you, that rallied around you, like, you actively just fucking spit in their fucking face from what? And, like, when you, if you, if you've been to a Trump rally,

no, oh, it is fucking nuts, no. So, like, when you're at a Trump rally, you're like, oh, I could definitely see how Hitler happened. Like, I'm not even, I'm not fucking joking to you,

Trump's up there talking about, like, we're going to throw people in jail for burning the flag.

And I'm like, you know, like, I mean, like, again, I, you shouldn't do it. But it's like, you know, over there is, there was a fuck Constitution. I'm looking at Vivek and Vivek is just, like, fucking like Robin is had. He gets out of the leaves of Trump rally. And I'm like, I fucking, everybody else is just fucking forcing you to have fucking thomin jail. Like, if Trump said, go grab a gun and go do anything, they would fucking do it. They would fucking do it. I know,

it's a cult. It's, uh, and that's another good, that's, that's one of the things about Christian or you're not supposed to put, you know, you don't, you don't put your faith in man. That's also what I, that's also fucking time. About you, what I have respected you for so much is you were one of the OG thinkers, where you're just like, especially in your fucking space, you were one of the OGs and like, wait a minute, like, just stop. What do you fucking do

me? Like, what the fuck's going on? And not many people did that. Not many people did that. You were one of, you were one of the biggest voices and opponents the war. You know, it's like, if somebody like a view where they can plead opposite, you would, you would, you would convince so many people. If right now you came right here and you started talking about like how good it is and we should double down and do more millions of people would listen to you and advocate for them.

“I can't do it. I can't be chained. And that's what this administration,”

probably every administration has done. You know what I mean? Right when you got in there, I got an invite to, I can't remember, go somewhere and I was going to get, I could fly on Air Force one with them and I could go to the White House and fly on Marine One. Ironically I was going to have to pay for the flight. Marine One and I was like, one, no, two. I know what the fuck you're

doing. You're trying to like capture me and put chains on me so that I could never leave you.

You want, you want to, you want to make it look like I'm a part of whatever the fuck you have going on and I'm, I am, and I'm an independent thinker. I will never do that. I will never put, I will never willingly put myself in a position where that I can appear to be captured by a specific movement. I am my, I'm my own person. Well, and, and I'll never give up that,

“that freedom. I always say like, I always like, the thought that like, if you want to see a”

man's character, see how he acts who a bad guy who's nice. And so what I mean by that is like, when you meet bad fucking people and they do bad things, they're the first one to shake your hand and like hold the door for you and like we're like character matters and like your foundation matters. If you could stop and be like, wait a minute, like, I don't give a fuck. How nice you are to me. Like you're not going to like, you're not going to get me. You're not going to course me. Like you're

not going to fucking associate path and make me do a bad deed. And so like with Trump in a sense, he's kind of like that way, man. I don't, again, I know Tucker Carlson said that like, uh, the thing she has like, the mod, I don't believe that. Like he's demonic, but when you meet him, he's so charismatic and he's so nice that you're like, you almost could overlook. If you were like, if you don't have a strong will and a strong character, you could almost, yeah, you could just get sucked in

and then like, and you just become part of the machine. It's it's so hard when you meet charismatic people like that that are just so fucking good. I can't even you to lower your guard and be accepted. And I mean, again, going to Trump rally. But yeah, I don't blame, I don't blame Trump for forgetting me, but man, they were so weird. Even me, like, I get so much hate now from going back to the Navy still thing. Like, you know, when when I was like pro maga, you know, I had so much like

so much more love from people. We're like, and I don't give a fuck. But the moment I like came out and said, hey, man, then the list is a little fucking weird. Like, and then like, I feel you're

“like, you know, you're like, like, I'm just asking fucking questions, you're like, what do you mean?”

I'm like, well, dude, let me, let me tell you just as history that I know it. Trump reluctantly signed the bill. Like, he reluctantly signed the freedom to release the files. Fucking guy has Pam Bondi who he put in, have his personal lawyer handle all Todd Blanch, have all file releases.

He handles all redactions. Fucking three get three million documents out of six million.

And then, and then what happens after that, he goes and interviews. Trump's personal fucking lawyer goes and interviews Maxwell and says, uh, the only thing she says is he didn't

telling me about the prison she's in. It's nice. I could go to that fucking prison. I got TVs,

it puppies and shit. And it's like, like, how do you guys not, like, how does that not concern? Like, how could you not, like, just hear that and be like, huh, like, I just like, how do you not, bro? Like, how do you not? And I'm not even saying Trump did it. But I believe that Trump is protecting and hiding power for fucking people. And he's using the government to do it. And like, I don't give a fuck how you hate me. You cannot give me an explanation for this.

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maybe he's trying to protect the victims. Did you ever think of that? I said, I'm glad you asked that because funny enough the only names in the files that were detected were the abusers. How hard would it be to take a fucking permanent marker and just cross out Stacey's name,

“Jessica's name. But instead you read, it's like, that's what I'm saying. He's vocalized the correct.”

I mean, Margie, I think Margie Taylor Green even said that he had told her I can't, I can't do this because then these are my friends. We're something else. But they're all that way. Do you, uh, I got to ask you, bro. Do you believe in the Charlie Kirk? Do you accept the narrative with the three out six? No, you don't? No. But I don't, I'm not. You don't know the answer, but you're saying all the answer. So that's the rhyme, man. I think anything I say would be.

Yeah, I think I'm strange. I think I'm, I think it's strange. I think it's strange. I don't want to hog hunting, you know, last weekend and like you're washing these fucking like AK around, just rip through hogs, rip through them. I mean, like 300 pound hogs, boom, I think it's strange. But it's like to me, it's just so, like I could not fathom getting, like, so much manipulation of information to get the gay, tranny guy to do greed, to get him to agree to, like, I can't wrap my

head around that little conspiracy. With this too many weird things that have happened. I can't name them all, but I mean, one of them, you know, I mean, they, what do they do? They're concrete it over the, the side. I mean, it's just, Candace told me that it was done in the middle of a pentagram.

“And I personally do think that this is all, I think everything now is good versus evil. And there's a”

demonic element. Oh, 100%. But I mean, I bet I get 100%. You look at some of the rituals. And I mean, it's stuff that was going on in the Epstein files. And it's all ritualistic. And I mean, look at Alex, human sacrifice, infiltrated Bohemian Grove. Like, what are you talking about? Do you brain effigies? Do you ever take a lie to check your tests? No, you haven't taken a lie to check tests? Oh, okay. I fucking, I hate cash retail so much. Like cash retail to me is like the weakest

fucking man in the world, fucking, like you look at cash retail and you're like, dude, you were like, you were as weak as fucking dirt. I cannot say anything. So funny, funny enough. I'm, I'm curious, you're taking on this. And this is like, so there's this manager, Ollie, Abzi, fucking, whatever the fucking one of the biggest managers in the UFC. Spoke at Trump rallies. Look, like, managers, everybody, let me tell you this guy's fucking backstory. And by the way,

he's best friends with cash retail, best fucking friends with cash retail. So I start thinking about

this because uh, always UFC fires one hour and a bunch of FBI agents, like you weather like,

you call me? And I started looking at Ollie and all these pictures. One of the biggest managers

in the UFC, this is, this is his acculates. After 9/11, it's all in a book. There's a, uh, a book at one like the fucking, like, uh, some, like, fancy award in New York, some liberal fucking award this is. So it's like, it's a very credible book. He, uh, he gets arrested after 9/11 with a bunch of passports or, like, IDs or fake documentation. He's locked up on felony charges of, like, falsifying information. And this happened, like, weeks after 9/11. This is what I know. We don't

fucking assume it. This is what I know. And this is what the book says. So he's in a Colorado lockup.

“And then he gets approached by the FBI. They call them, uh, I think they have his, like, they even”

have his number. Like, this is all factual, what I'm saying. They had his, like, uh, his

informant number. They have him as a high paid informant, like, spying on, like, I don't know what organizations, but like, some like Muslim brotherhood, something like, he's traveling here and here and there. And, uh, he gets out. They give him a lie detector test because they suspect him lying. His nickname was a dolphin because he would talk so much. They, they suspect him for lying. And so I give him a lie detector test. And he fails. And they, uh, they let him go. He can't, if he

leaves the country, they won't let him back in. Like, I mean, he is, like, by all, by all information known, this motherfucker is a, uh, snitched terrorist that, like, if you, when you look at all piece of information, and he goes, and it's best friends with fucking cash material. I'm sure, I'm sure he goes to cash material. Like, hey, brother, brother, brother, let me, let me, you want to go meet compete, you want to go meet Justin Gachie, I go meet Justin Gachie. And it's

like, you just look at these, like, these things like, man, do you like the fuck, you guys? Like, what the fuck dude? It's part of the course, man. But like so, the country is not well. The, the president's kids are buying private island, are buying private islands with bunkers. Now, if the country was doing well, why would the president's kids be doing that? I mean, there's just, there's so many, I get, I get painted as, uh, like, I'll take it money from Qatar or

“something. I'm sorry, I'm not the one that took a $400 million jet from Qatar. Maybe you should”

fucking look at, you know, excuse me? Kind of funny back to love dude. Israel, like, love me at one point. So like, Israel, I mean, like, I would get messages from Israel, like, because they fucking love me. So after October 7, because I've been, like, really eating the fucking Zionists propaganda most my life. And it took kind of October 7. To, like, and I'm no, like, I'm no like fan, like, I'm not like, I'm not like the Muslim, like, all the Muslim guys I know are generally really

fucking cool. Like, I train, because you know, and fighting, you train with a lot of them. They're generally really cool. They don't want to come bring fucking sherry law. They just want to train, get a fucking paid check and go back to fucking Daggers Sam, where the fuck they're from. And like, they're generally cool fucking people. So like, my experience with Muslims isn't like the propaganda that they're that they feed me. Like, I'm assuming that there are a lot of radical

fucking Muslims that, like, want to go blow up shit. I'm assuming that is a case, but like my experience, I train with them. Hey, brother, how are you doing? They go back home with their family. And that's my experience, right? I'm sure you might have a different experience because that's my experience. Now, man, I'm, I'm, I used to hate them. I mean, I used to hate them because of what I did. But, you know, that flag right there was given to me by a really good friend of mine who's Muslim.

And he was a US, he's a US, we're an American Afghan citizen. And he was army intelligence,

“and he's really tied to the resistance that's going on over there right now. Do you know about that?”

No. So the Taliban has basically assassinated all of our partners, and I mean, shot them in the back. Yeah, we fucking read their lives. And so the resistance is kind of like the free party. You know, I mean, they want free Afghanistan. And so he goes over there and he brought that flag back. He uncovered this, this thing. I'll tell you about him. But he brought that flag back. He recovered it from the Taliban burning it in Afghanistan. And he gave it to me on the show.

And he wanted, he wanted everybody in the America and the world to know that the United States is funding the Taliban in cash,

40 to $87 million in cash a week. And so when you think about that, and you think about the Iran

War, and what's the narrative on the Iran War? Oh, they would be they'd been our enemies for 47 years, and they'd been killing our people, and they equipped the Iraqi insurgents with the FPs,

fucking line of bullshit about we're going after our enemies. When your administration is sending

40 to $87 million of fucking week to the Taliban, who we were directly fighting.

So don't pay me that bullshit. You know, and that that works on the majority of the country,

“because they don't know what that's what's what's what's really going on. But don't tell me about this.”

They've been our enemy for 47 years, and you give a shit about our enemy. When you're fucking paying our debris, an enemy right there. Yeah. It's everything that they are telling us is a fucking lie. Because I grew up in the 90s, and after 9/11, I'm going to get into you what you've experienced. You were fucking, you know, like you lived it. But I like Muslim to me was like the fucking boogie. The Muslim is bad. The Muslim's fucking bad. Like, and it was so propaganda.

So after October 7, I was like full saying, like, Muslim bad, Hamas bad. You'd go in there,

get your fucking people back. Like, and like this really is loved. Because they're like, yeah,

Sean saying, go to fucking war, go get your people back. And I stand by that, although I think is where I think Israel knew about October 7. I mean, you're talking about, I think it's a,

“if it's a gift of his up at Brubham. Yeah. I mean, you're talking about a country that has a”

smaller border than fucking New Jersey that is like a, and literally a prison. And you're telling me that like, you didn't know. Like, you gave people pages, and you put them all over the terrorist organization. You didn't see these people buying paragliders, tractors, welding shit. You fucking knew you fucking knew. And then you look at their response. It wasn't like a response. Like, we're going to go get our people back. They go like the satellite images. Like, it's almost like

they needed it to happen so that they can do everything that they're doing right now. And this is where like, and this is where he's like, not 11. Yeah. And this is where like, and this is where Israel, me like, and now now people in Israel fucking hate me. Like, it's funny. You're loved by them and you're hated. Because it's like, dude, you made me realize like, Israel deprogrammed me because I'm watching what you guys did to Gaza. And we're not seeing like, I don't see, when I see a

dead body, I don't see a fucking jihadist within AK. I'm seeing a little groovy and pull out of a fucking building. I see map images of this like piece of land that like is now a demolition site. Like, you are committing on a very small scale of genocide. You were, you were, like, one of they lost me. There was like one of our fucking Zionist leaders. I think maybe it was like Tucker or something or like his interview. And he said, well, what would you do with what did we do to Hitler? Like,

what would we do to the Nazis referring to like, we're having a proportional response to what they're doing? I'm like, well, what you want to do? You want to go over there and fucking murder kids. Like, we didn't go to fucking war or two. We didn't go fucking murder kids. We liberated them and

“we rebuilt Germany to one of the most fucking successful countries in the region. That's what”

we did after war or two. We didn't go flat in everybody and fucking murder kids. Like, don't give me that crazy shit. So like, during this, this course of like, I really de-programmed myself from from like, from Israel, the Israeli propaganda. And I don't think, like, I'm not a candid cellwins. Like, I don't think there's like a secret like tiny hat room where guys are sitting around a table. Like, we're going to overthrow America. We're going to do this and do that.

What people make a mistake on conspiracies don't like patterns. Don't always equal conspiracies.

There can be a pattern, but just because there's a pattern doesn't mean there's like some, like, you know, there's just because there's a pattern doesn't mean there's some like puppeteer pulling the strings. Like, I want to say this right and I don't want to seem like, I'm not anti-Semitic. I don't give a fuck if you're a Jew. And I don't know, like, everybody says, like, oh, Jews, this, Jews, this, most Jews I know agree with me. Like, my, my

boy, Aiden Ross, he would sit here with us, Jewish guy. He's like one of the owners of kick. He would sit here and agree with everything they're saying. Like, most Jewish people I know, when we have these conversations are like, yeah, you're right. I'm not a fucking Zionist. I'm just born a fucking Jew. You know, but like, if you look at, I'm kind of going to deepen a rabbit hole, I want people to like to understand this because you have people like Candice Owens. I know she's your friend,

but I can't, so once it doesn't do anybody a service. So like Candice Owens, she's so over the top that she's used as a, as a weapon against, like, thought because you have these, she says all crazy shit, like, try the Kirk's a time travel, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and every now and then she'll sprinkle and truth to what she says. But really, all she does is like be little the movement

propaganda or the Israeli propaganda, it is a very fucking simple. It is very fucking simple.

They only care, like, they only care about Israel. They want Israel to be this nation. There's no, there's no like, there's no force behind them saying that we're going to destroy America. What they advocate for, due to the Holocaust, due to them not really having a country, they advocate for things that they believe are right for the world that actively destroy America. So what I mean by that is like you have George Soros. George Soros, when he's advocating for open borders, you need to understand,

he's coming from a place to where, like, his people, they had no home. They were kicked out of this, kicked out of that, that for reasons why, you know, they were kicked out of here, they were kicked out of

there. So like when George Soros advocates for this, he is advocating from a place of like,

“I think this is good for the world. We should have open borders. We should, you should be able to”

migrate, which is ironic because fucking Israel is fucking prison. Go migrate to Israel. Let me know how that goes. But what is good for you is not good for us. But it's like, they're not, they're not doing it and like a hatred, or you take like people often talk about like Nazi Germany. The like, one of the early founders of like transgenderism is, you guys get all faxed at me on this, but it was a Jewish, a Jew guy. He was a, he was a homosexual doctor. And I think that it's also like a,

I think it's also like a curse of intelligence, right? Like Jewish people have on average of high IQs. They're just, they're more intelligent. So like generally sometimes like when you look, when you're overly intelligent, you start breaking norms, right? So like when you're really intelligent, and you could like fathom like the intricacies of the world and like you start breaking down norm. So like why is gender a male and a female? Like why is it not on a spectrum? Like you know,

I'm saying, because you could start really, unless you're not religious, you could start making cases for like, well, humanity in a thousand years, would it not be better if there was no gender? And you could start making these like cases and orchestrating the world that you want to be in.

“And this is where you need to get into the old testament. But I'm saying we're coming from part of”

this stuff is in there. What they talk about, they, they, they, a genderless god. This should is all like happened. I will say, let me, let me tell you one thing, dude, I do find it really odd. The correlation between like Bible and like what it is now, right? So back to like the Jews promoting, you know, promoting this ideology that like Hitler hated. So Hitler goes and expels these people. But I don't think that like, I don't think that like the George Soros, like the Jewish elite,

the issue is you have such a small population with such a mass amount of wealth that has way too much power. Like you're such a small population, you shouldn't have this much control over like millions of people. If you make up like three percent of the world, why do you have so much of a voice? I mean, I'm not saying like, no persecution, but like you, you're acting and and financing things that people don't agree with. But like going back to, you know, people like, why does the Israel lobby,

George Soros, why are they, you know, one of the first movements of Communists, like five people were like,

one of the main, one of the main people of like the Communist movement were like, it's really, it's Jewish, not Israeli, Jewish. So what you have is you have people like Canis Owens going and saying, there's like this Jewish elite around a table, pulling string, trying to destroy America. When that's not the case, you have hyper intelligent people, hyper wealthy people doing what they believe is the right thing to do. The thing they believe is the right thing to do is have open borders

to have a fluid gender. This is why they go to Hollywood and they push it. There's no, there's no evil strings. This is what they believe in their heart is the right thing to do. And usually if you're hyper intelligent, you're more liberal, let's tell works. I don't know, man, I'm going to disagree

“with you on that one because one with Candice, I think Candice is, I love Candice. On the right”

trap with a lot of things. There's a lot of things that I'm unsure of that she says. And okay, let me ask you, why do you want to put a hold on it? And I don't, like you are kind of grouping all these Jewish people together. Well, I'm not because I have a lot of Jewish spreads. All is railies together. And I don't believe that other. I believe that there is a, the, the,

time. And I think there is definitely a hundred percent. Well, maybe not to destroy America. There's

“two points. They have completely infiltrated American top politics through a back through Hollywood.”

I mean, there's a lot of things. Well, why is it to push the Zionist agenda? Well, why is Hollywood to propaganda is the United States with the, with the Zionist agenda? We've bought off on this for a long time. We've fought a lot of the wars for them. Those are our people. But yes, there's, and so if you think about it, it's actually a genius plan because we are the proxy, like, okay, let's say, Hamas is a proxy. We are the proxy. Who's funding the

majority of the war? And I ran right now. Yeah, I get it. We are who's, who, who, who, who, but I'm saying, unless it's coming from Zionist influence. I add questions. And so there are powerful people in all, I mean, in all these little bit, look who owns all the, all the media comes. So, okay. You know, all, all, I got, I got questions. I got questions. I got questions. Let's unpack. So you say all wars. And by again, let's talk at, let's remember, patterns

aren't always vehicle conspiracy. Sometimes just patterns that just happen to align and they're

together. So go back to the petruder. We had an agreement. One of us had fucking the, the 50s under one present that we would have a security pact to help to help, you know, stabilize the region.

“So what happens? And I believe that this aligned with America, I mean, there is a speech about”

don't let in the military industrial complex get involved. I mean, how many, how many politicians take money from the military and industrial complex? 100 percent of them? 100 percent of them. So I think that, so you have the US degrees. We will stabilize the region. Use our US dollar. You buy a little with us. We'll, we'll make sure everything's fucking peachy keen. And then you could verify. I mean, I'm sure you know more about this world than I do. So Saddam Hussein goes and,

you know, goes and does Saddam Hussein. He goes and Vades Kuwait. He just got after just got down a bloody war with Iran and goes and then Vades Kuwait. And then now the US is like, they're looking at this opportunity to like, okay, we got to go, this is our job. You use our petruder, we need to do this. Now, is it also in the best interest of Israel that Saddam Hussein and the

Iraq government was overthrown? 100 percent. 100 percent is the best interest of Israel if Saddam Hussein,

Iraq, who's not a friend of Israel, gets overthrown. So you have Israel as a 100 percent lobbying the US government to go fucking do this. But it is also in our interest to go and stabilize the region and become closer with these massive oil distributors and put bases there. The E.C.M. saying, now mind you are our founding fathers very much worn for entanglement. But you have the military industrial complex. She's making a lot of money on this. You have Israel who, it obviously doesn't

like Saddam Hussein and Iraq. And you have them lobbying making a case in presenting to our leaders. Hey, no, we did this security agreement. We have the pact go over and stabilize. So we go over there. I'm just trying to like, I'm just breaking this down so people understand. So like you could you could put fact to conspiracy because sometimes conspiracy, it's like it just puts you down this rabbit hole that doesn't make sense. One upside is not as conspiracy. This is true.

“Well, no, what I'm saying is true. 15 or 16 million dollars into a local Kentucky, right?”

So what I'm saying is true, too is rate of the Israeli law control. The Israeli robbing the military industrial complex, the oil industry, all these people all lobbied us to go get involved with Iraq. And we go, we overthrow, we overthrow, we leave. But what do we do? We let bases in, we let bases in the the Gulf state, the, you know, the oil or rich companies. And this is just like, I need to, I need to talk on fact. So we could talk about 9/11 and like the Jews did 9/11,

but like that doesn't, that doesn't get us anywhere. If we start just talking about conspiracy. All you do is you get down these fucking rabbit holes. So we go, it's also, it's also Donna conspiracy,

the Baron Adelson pumped $300 million. Well, I'm getting there. I'm going in there. So now we're

right after, we're right after the first Iraq invasion. We leave. We, we fucking leave. We leave them in power. We fucking leave. We leave bases all over the Middle East now, right? And we did it as a

dollar. The fucking the Jew loves it. The Israel loves it because we have bases there. We're stronger

“9/11 happens. The except the theory from 9/11 is, oh, so I'm been lawed in and a lot of”

Saudis, by the way. Not just not just him. I mean, it's pretty obvious that he had helped from the Saudi government pissed off. I mean, he wrote, true or not, he wrote that, like, we had bases there. He was pissed off that we're in these holy cities. He wanted to go, and he's also pissed off because Israel because we give a fuck ton of money to Israel. And we were normalizing relationships with them. So he's pissed off. There's a foreign nation occupying his country. We are giving a metric

of fuck ton of money to Israel to go, to go, you know, illegal occupation, to go commit genocide, to go create war. So he goes, and this is just the except the theory. We can't talk about conspiracy. We're just talking about what we know. So he goes, you know, and gets a bunch of Saudi nationals, buys a, buys a building, playing in a building. He says, hey, well, you guys walk you by my place. You give Israel this. This is my way of striking it back. So, and this is where

like America starts kind of going off the fucking deep end. We're like, it's kind of more harder to like, it's kind of harder now to like put pieces together because we're shit's happening even more now. So we go and we invade Afghanistan. We go and we invade Afghanistan. We, we start fighting the Taliban for, you're like, for what? For what? You know, Israel loves it. Israel loves it. We have more bases there. We have more footprint. And then all of a sudden you have the Israeli

“lobby. And this is where like, and this is to me, if you want to identify a point in history,”

when Israel became the known bad guy, was the second invasion of Iraq.

Because you had, this is where like, the fucking mass came off. And you had BB on front of everybody saying, no, there's weapons and mass destruction. They have fucking nukes you guys. They got, they got chemical weapons. They gas the curves. Like, and off that alone, we use, hey, you know, the Israelis are saying that that WMDs, all the intelligence communities saying, you have WMDs. Actually, we weren't in any ways. And so I brought in this guy, Pete Blaver, who is a kernel

that Delta that kind of led the invasion. And we just had this episode. It was 12 hours long. No, shit. Yeah. And so we, he got, so they asked Delta to do, you know, whatever surveillance, and then they found the WMD factory. There's this big air thing on top of a building that is that's

whatever, whatever, an air purifier. I can't, I'm never bringing anywhere now. But whatever,

the big, the air purification system. Yeah, chemical weapons. Okay. And then on the side, they've got, here's a big missile. We see it. We can see it in the imagery. The imagery back them wasn't like it yesterday. And then they see, you know, the century guard that's outside guarding the facility. And they get this out to Delta. And Pete says to him, hey, if I'm, if I'm messing any of this up, you can go watch the episode incorrectly. But this is the basis.

And they have, so they get it to Pete's team over at Delta and Pete tells, whoever sent it, the current administration. We don't want to know anything of what you guys think this is. We're going to analyze ourselves and, and we'll get you. We don't want to be influenced

“with your, with what you have to say. The air purification system on the roof wound up being”

an air conditioning unit. The missile on the side of the building wound up being a water tank, a big water truck. Because they're in the middle of the desert. And that's how they get water. They have to bring in the water and pump it in. And the century outside of the building was just a guy taking a piss. And then they sent that intelligence back, totally disregarded it. And a couple of days later, Colin Ball is going over the exact same imagery and saying that we're going to

go and pay that right. So again, same thing with the Gulf of Tongue, you have an Israeli lobby, you have an military industrial complex, and you have rich businessman that push and push this. It's not like there is no like group of elites pulling strength. It's like this is like you have wealthy people that benefit off these things. This is why it happens. It's like, this is why it happens. There's no like there's no a secret, a ball pushing this. You have a military industrial complex

Take this out. And then it fucking happens. And this is how it happens. And it's not, it's not that

the government is compromised on so many fucking levels from like the military industrial

“complex. It is real to lobbyists. Like the the government is so compromised that the only thing”

that would fix the government is if either like you elected a radical person or a revolution or violent revolution. There's nothing else it will fix it. It is they are ticks and they are embedded and Trump and everybody else. I mean even like, even I ran you. I like, I think to a lot of the new newer generation, they don't know what it was like to grow up in the 90s. I mean, it was just like, we were in fucking every year of my life or in war, we were in some war, every year of my life or in

the war, and our brand and our parents said he said no one better because they didn't have the information that we had. So they would all be able to see in Fox news. It's like, yeah, said I'm who saying he has no, she's in the fucking kill us or he has chemical weapons, she's in kill us. And they didn't have like, they didn't have the information that we have. So like it's up to like us, push back and like this is why you do such a great service because you're pushing back.

But I just don't think it does anybody a service when you start getting in the realm of conspiracy, when you don't need conspiracy to prove a point. It's a military industrial complex. It's lobbyists. It's Marin Aelsin. It's really APAC. They're just they're even

“affected the government. Like it's that's simple. There's no like there's, I think it's a little”

bit of all of it. But it's a little bit of all but I'm not gonna, but we don't do it once I once I think I know what it is or I'm 99% sure I know what it is. Well, I guess we're digging because you throw a speculative narrative out that's a new term I got the other day instead of conspiracy theory. Because because those, this quick, a conspiracy theory is a, is a new idea. You know and and I don't think we should necessarily discredit new ideas or speculative narratives. Yeah,

but because it doesn't fit up of a certain agenda, something that should be looked into and once it's disprovened, then you disprove it. You don't just label it. Yeah, but again, what it is, you're identifying patterns. Like, you're identifying patterns and you're drawing conclusions that are that aren't that. Like, just because things align, there's patterns that doesn't mean. There's like, it doesn't mean there's some puppeteer. There's patterns all over the world of the government.

And there's no puppeteer. So like what Candice, what I think she fucks up on and like we're talking about the big voice is like, she's saying there's a puppeteer. You have interests that are aligned together. Like, well, those are multiple puppeteers. Yeah, but I mean, they're not really puppeteers because they just won't what they want. Israel once. That's a puppeteer. Yeah, but it's like it's pretty obvious. Like, Israel wants to, Israel wants to control Gaza. They want the greater Israel. Like,

there is no, anytime you ever talk to Israeli and they let their fucking guard down, I'm sure you have, they want the greater Israel, the illegal settlements. They, they like, if you ever talk to someone from Israel and they let their, and a lot of them don't, but if they let their guard down for a second, you're very aware of what they want. Like, I do have a very, very experience, uh, I train, I know a lot of Israelis. That's why I'm saying, I've been down and let their guard down.

And like, there'll be like, they think they're in a safe place. And they'll let their guard down and

then like, oh damn, like, yeah, you, you're about that life. And that I never experienced that.

But, you know, like, but I mean, I mean, I can conclude this thought with like, Candace Owens is such a bad job. And she divides so many people. And this is why, like, even me, with I said, like, I, I, I think that we should question the Charlie Kirk thing. I really do,

“I, I think we should always question, you should question everything. But when Candace is going”

there and like, like, saying, like connecting these dots and making these things or like the page or the this or that or that, all you're doing is splintering the fact of matter is. The fact of the matter is is you're just, you're, the fact is that a fucking tranny blossoms mine shot Charlie. There's no Israel conspiracy. There's no Israel lobby. You don't need that conspiracy to say that a pack is bad. They don't even need that involvement. A pack is bad. A pack is bad for America.

They like, I understand what you're saying. I've been basically, you're saying that, you know,

that what's happening is extremely divisive and it can almost be discrediting. But I think, I think, like I said, I think Candace is onto something. I don't agree with everything she says.

to do the right thing and you think she believes it? You don't think she's doing an Alex Jones kit. I think that she's, she was very close with Charlie and that really hurt her and that she wants to figure out what the hell this is all about and why certain things don't make sense. I also find it so awkward. Like Ben Shapiro and fucking all like all these right wing influencers are like razor hand. Like, I know what Charlie wanted. I was his best friend. Like,

to me, like, I can't wrap my head around people using this guy's death is like a, oh,

but I know she's close with, I know her and like Charlie reclose. But like when you're always

like bees or the text message, we use the sex that I'm saying. Like, it's like, what are you doing

“dude? Like, just let the fucking guy die. Like move the fuck on. And again, I think you should”

question it and I'm happy people are questioning it. But when the average American here's a shit like Candice Owen says, they're not like it pushes them away from it. You're like, well, wait a minute. But like me, when I tell you, hey, when I, when I explain to you why a pack, why Marilyn Adelson is bad, why George Soros is bad for America, I could, I could articulate it. And I could explain to you in a way that you can grasp it and say, hey, yeah, you know what,

maybe we should just shouldn't vote for a pack, Candice. Maybe George Soros is in the best. Maybe, uh, maybe Marilyn Adelson giving Trump a, like, or maybe a pack giving Trump, you know,

$300 million, it's not good. And maybe that is why Trump was forced or manipulated to Iran,

because when you take the military industrial compact, you take Israel, you take all the donations, you take the people in his inner circle. I could see how they can manipulate him into doing this, which is good for big business and oil. I could see how that happens. And if you could dissect that and make it rational, and you could unpack it, now you can start identifying, okay, well, Marilyn Adelson's bad, A pack is bad. The military industrial complex is bad,

but you don't have to go so far as to make it seem like some crazy fucking thing. Because the moment you go in that water, you lose a mass portion of the same country. The moment you start telling them all this shit, like, oh, dude, like 9/11, fucking the Jews did 9/11.

I don't care if they did or did it. The moment you tell a big portion of this country that happened,

they're gone. They're fucking out. You got to break it down and present it, and I wore more

“died desh, died deshable way, you know what I'm saying? And Candice doesn't she?”

That's the way to do things is to present people with information and let them make their own decisions. Yeah, I do, but people are fucking stupid though, dude. Like, uh, and I know, like, people are so fucking stupid. Like, when I try to explain like economics and legal immigration of people to these liberals, and I'm telling them how much hard it's made of life, they say, well, yeah, but Trump is bad, orange man's bad, people are fucking stupid.

But you also can't blame people for being stupid. Like, me and you do, we have jobs, we don't have a fucking job. Like, this is your job. Your job is to go online and research and look shit up and talk to people. You think the guy doing an average eight-hour job, doing construction, going home, doing a fucking life, you know, going, and she's working into two kids. Do you think that motherfucker's going on Reddit forums, looking at YouTube and trying to

figure out, we know he does it. Just trying to get through the day, trying to get through the fucking day. Like, when you go talk to real rednecks, they don't give a fuck about anything. Dude, they just, like, dude, I just got done working. I want to go hunt, you know, like, I don't give a fuck about this. I'm sick. I don't want my oil, like, the orange man said that my, I would have a better way of life. I fucking voted for him.

You know, so, but, and so when I say people are stupid, I'm saying, you can not be informed or being misled and be a normal person. So when you have people like Candice, going have these like fucking, and do Candice by the way, she's fucking precious. She looks at you. I'll fucking still and I do, I'll fucking wide-eyed. She's like, let me tell you.

“And you're like, damn Candice, like, yeah, I believe it. Do you the fucking juice killed Charlie?”

Like, you fucking sold me Candice. She looks at you all straight face with a fucking make-up. It's done perfectly. You're like, damn, yeah, Candice. Do you matter? No, and I'm just like, like, are they? You should meet her. I'll let you guys together. Well, I just don't know. I don't know if she's doing the Alex Jones thing. We're like, Alex Jones. I think believes it, but he, like, created a character. Like, are you creating a character that

you know sales? Because I imagine, like, in this day and age two, you're one of the few people that excel by not being a clown. And I don't mean that Candice is a clown, but I mean, you know, you do have some really fucking crazy takes. But like, imagine if Candice just prevented, she's up, she's appealing to those fucking radical conspiracy theorists in sales. And say they're only like a fraction of the percent of America. But if you get up one dollar from a fraction of the

like, oh, I do, I'm on the Reddit. Like, you're appealing to these. And you're just like,

and I just find it like, you're making money. But it's like, it's wrong. It's not wrong. It's just, like, maybe she does believe you. I don't know, maybe she does. I don't know the fucking idea. I'll plank you guys together. You guys sort the shit out. Yeah, we go, we go, we go, shoot some guns, bro. Let me take, well, let's come. Let's take a break. Come back, talk a little bit about fighting, and then go blow some shit up. If you've listened to this show for a while,

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support and let them know we sent you. Now I've always wondered how I would do, and I think I'd

do fucking horrible. But how I would do, say you were in like, we had to clear this house, and we had to like, in being a gunfight. And I think like, I know I could shoot well, but I had never been

“shot at. And I think that's what separates like the boys from the fucking man, right? Because you've”

been shot out a lot. You notice like 10 bullets will whiz by your fucking head, and like you know what that's like. I don't know what that's like. So you go shoot a fucking piece of cardboard on day long and you could clear fucking room. I remember the first time I got shot at any know what the hell was going on. We were in Iraq. We were setting up these, we were setting up a bunch of different cyber positions. And so I was a point man, and we weren't, we cleared this whole building,

which wound up being big. And then me and my buddy went up to the rooftop to get a vantage point. This is like two, three o'clock in the morning. And we're on nods. And we're up there like, I used to chew to that, I used to chew, you know, dip. So up there having a dip, just talking about how we can't wait for it all to go down. And we're just shooting the shit. And we're like tactics and it was dumbass thing. We're just standing there on a fucking rooftop. So anybody

could see our silhouette, but there was no moon. There was no, so I guess you wouldn't really see a silhouette. Anyways, whatever, we should have been doing that. And I remember we're sitting there talking. And I thought there was a billboard above me. And it's, it's sound of like, somebody who was taking like a yardstick. And it's back in the billboard. Like it was like,

“like that, like a snack. And I'm like, what the hell, I'm like, what the hell is that noise?”

Who's smack in the billboard above us? And we look up and there's no fucking billboard. There's no billboard. Oh my Holy shit. We're good. Well, I mean, some buyers that crack in the side of the billboard. No, no, that's the crack. When it goes over here, that's the crack you hear. You just hear the

snap. Like, if you ever been in like a gunfight, like, you know, I always say like what separates

a seals is like, they create conditions the win. Like, if you look at every time a seal, like any, any, at least a public-sized seal operations, they, they created the condition to win. Like the Osomalana raid, like that was a, they created the perfect condition. If you're been in a gunfight, we're like, legit, legitimate, like, you're on one side of a, like, a legitimate, like, I'm looking at you. You have a gun. I have a gun. And you're in a gunfight.

I've never been in a situation where I've been point black distance to somebody, and they had a gun and I had a gun. Yeah, well, they not point blank, but you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, I'm about to get into, like, like, you see a cop shoot out where you're like, I can see this motherfucker. He should not be. I'm in reload. We're turning fire at him. Like, maybe,

especially on that deployment, everybody was within 50 yards. No shit. Yeah, I remember one time,

“one time, we were, it was rural Iraq, and we were, we were like, guillied up in the bushes and”

shit. In this town that was, like, I don't know, 150 yards south of us was black, black, it was a black site, or black town, which means no, no US personnel could go and fly over doing

any of that. And they were basically what these guys were doing was they would come out and they

would blow up all the main supply routes. They have my saw routes. And so, and he's poor army guys, just get getting killed. I mean, it was like, every week, you know, more, more of them were getting killed and they couldn't figure out how to take care of it. So they brought us in. And, you know, we did like an assessment and some surveillance and, and we'd set up all these hide sites along this MSR road, main supply route. And guillied up and we had, we were so well hidden, we had goats,

like local goat herders, their goats were coming up and like eating the hay that we had put

“in our guillies. And we spent, I don't know, 24 hours there. I think everybody, I think every time”

we went out, we got the guys within 24 hours. And so, here's the road.

And so, we were set up kind of on the side of the road. There was three or four sites, you know, where snipers were. And then we have, like, kind of like a command element. They call it the C2 element back here that's kind of, they're in charge of the, they're like the, the command element. And they had had a goat herders or not goat herders. They had a line of five guys walked right behind them with aches and, um, bombs that were going to shovels aches, bombs. And they're like,

oh, shit, like, here they come. And they're like, walked right over the top of my buddies. Like, like, like, like, right behind them, walked right over the top of them. Here's the road. They start digging on the road. And do I don't know how they didn't see us, but, and I didn't, I didn't shoot on this one, because I didn't have those visibility. But, uh, all of a sudden, I just heard all this gunfire. And I was like, oh, shit, like,

we're suppressed. Yeah, we're, you know, it was like, we couldn't get anybody on the radio. It was like, what the fuck's going on? What happened? And, um, no response, no response. And so, me and my sniper partner, like, back to back. And we're like, all right, like, this is it. I guess everybody's dead. And, um, like, they obviously know we're here. So they're going to wind up getting online and that whole, that this village was like, like, it says only 150 yards. I'm like,

they're going to wind up getting online and just clearing through this whole valley or burning us

“out of here. They'll burn the, the, the field out to chase us out of here. And I remember thinking,”

like, well, we're just going to die, like, so we'll just take as many of these fuckers out as we can. And, um, and then, uh, my buddy, uh, he owns a company now called, Goprile Vanilla Security, or Verilla Guerrilla Security assumption. His name's Ben Wallick. And, uh, he comes over the radio and he just goes, holy shit. We just killed the fuck out of those guys. And I was like, I was, I mean, that was like the best fucking feeling in the world.

And, um, so what had happened is the unsuppressed shots, uh, I guess was them and then we had some army guys that, like regular infantry army guys that we had brought out to train with us. Like, we were like, hey, this is how we do business. We want to pass this knowledge on to you so that we can move on to the next unit. Keep that one. So for them, hang out to you guys. 18-year-old kid, man,

got his first kill that day. But what had happened was, um, these guys were, they had planned in the

bombs. And then our guys, we started shooting them. And it was like, you just, you just fucking, well, they thought they thought they were getting shot from this side of the world because they had just walked this whole distance and walked right over the guys. So they thought they were getting shot from this side of the road. So they, when they, when they tried to retreat, they ran right back at us. And we were using green tip at the time. Do you know, green tip? They like for like, uh, armor,

getting shot. You could just see, like, shoulders fling and back and running and they got so close,

they had to come out of the weeds, like out of the bushes, stand up and start engaged in that way. And eventually they dropped. And then we switched to grass, we switched from green tip. We started using 77 green. Okay. Why just you wanting more like an impact? Well, the thing with the green tip is it was just flying right through the bomb. And when you go to look at it, it's like little pin holes. You know what I mean? Like little pin holes. And so these got yet.

“But with 77 green hollow tip. What do you think about the military switch into the bigger round?”

Which round? Well, they switched into the next point eight. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you want to shoot it because I got it out there. My biggest thing, you're like, I'm not a fucking war guy, but like you could watch Ukraine. Like you'd right now, I mean, like you want to go watch fucking war, like it's, it's live stream, which is fucking a crazy time to be alive, right? Like you're literally a war-being live stream. And Julia looks like for the average Joe,

you just put it around the round range. So it's like, why do you want to give guys less rounds they go like marginally farther? And like it doesn't make sense to me. Yeah. I mean, what we started doing that for you and does for like a still guy that actually is like precision. Well, it's also a lot

heavier. You know what I mean? And so we'll take that six point eight out. It's amazing. It's punching

through the range. It's punching through those railroad ties that are at the back of the wall,

“which is insane. I got a story like, so I'm cutting weight my first title fight. And like,”

do for some reason? Yeah, that again. My first title fight in Australia. I'm cutting weight, to fight it as a, and do for some reason, the weight is not coming off. Like, it's just not fucking coming off. And like, there's something like, there's something so miserable about cutting weight. And I'm sure like, like, you're in a sauna and you're just like, everything is telling you got to get out. Like, there's a party that's like, man, if I die right now, I'm cool.

Like, this is cool. You're like, fuck this. I'm over this. Like, I'm good. I mean, there's a misery

to it that I wish people experience because it's kind of awesome. So security, you, she always

hires me security. I, I fucking, I hit a fan. And then after that, do they like, they're not security for me. It's security for other people. Because it's like, someone's in sensation of shawning, he's again a fight in the fighting at cancel. So I always have security now. But uh, so I'm seeing there in this fucking sauna and I've talked to my buddy Luke. And I guess like, I don't know what he was, but he was like the equivalent to like a Navy seal in Australia. He was like, he was told me

about like the school we went to. He was locked in a fucking box for a few days. Like, and yeah, something like that. So anyways, Luke, one of the coolest guy, you want to talk about somebody who has like a deep fucking passion for murder to tell you something about Luke, we're walking down. And he's a really like buttoned up like big, strong, or chilly, man. Didn't really smile, didn't really joke. And he was talking to a story about how like his buddy didn't murder somebody. And it was the

only time I seen him show his like expression of disappointment that like he had an opportunity to murder like a bad guy he didn't do it. And like Luke was like, fuck, we'll see. That's all right, Luke. So anyways, I'm gonna sauna. I'm cutting fucking away. I'm miserable. And I say, hey, Luke, what's something miserable you've done? Like, you know, like, talk to us. Luke, I want to know about you, man. Like, tell me something miserable. I tell me the most misery you've been in life. And I was expecting

like when I said that question, I was wanting him to say like, oh, one time, you know, I was locked in the box and training and like some fucking Asian bitch was like smack in my ass with a fucking, you know, I heard that story later was smack him here to the whip. Now that was in the story, I got it. He was like, well, Sean, let me tell you, there's an Afghanistan once. And I got a fuck to you. So that's not the story I wanted to hear. And he goes,

we were driving and our convoy got hit with an RPG and I'm wearing my translator all over me. I'm just covered in him. He goes, we get out because we're in mobile and we have to hike like five kilometers or fuck that is, you know, free to math. And he goes, and as we're hiking, we're laying

“a ditch, taking fire and I'm covered in the blood of my translator. And I remember laying there,”

holding my gun as like we're in the firefight. And I'm okay to like, today's the day I'm going to die, but I'm not at peace with it. Like I'm I am so miserable. This is so bad that like, if I die here, I'm okay with this. And I'm not like, mean all these spiders you were saying they're just cutting weight like fucking speechless. As this guy's telling us it's like, and he said it, like, I'm saying it as a joke, but he's saying like, I mean he's like bearing his soul in the story.

And we're all cutting weight, like just like jaws open like, yeah dude, like, what do I say to that?

I'm going to shut the fuck up now. I'm a fucking pussy. Oh, my point proven. But like when you

when you hear some stories that people gone through, oh my god. Yeah, but you even like for you Korean War, like you're watching. There's a video online of a guy in the knife. I'd you see that. Well, literally like two guys go pro and knife fight. And like the last thing as he dies is like, kind of like you did good. And like, I mean it's fucking wild. Like the Ukraine war being being televised or being live streamed. I mean, I can't wrap my head around. Like you

go on YouTube right now and you go watch Firefights battle tank maneuvers drone footage. It's like we live in such a fucking crazy world that like I hope it vilifies war even more about who knows. Yeah, man. So anyways, long story short. I was saying I really like to get in a gun fight,

but hopefully against the seal because I think I'd be a little bitch about it, you know, because you

watch cops every now and then do a couple getting a gun fight. And like a legitimate gun fight. We're like the guys getting fire and he's returning fire and he'll fucking put his mag up and he'll hit his reload or rack. And then you watch some guy. I mean, dude, the thing is like, I've been, look, I don't know if you'll rise to the occasion or not. I would think you would considering what you do. Well, guys, it like there was no minute. But you mean what you're fighting? I mean, when you're

in a fight and you're getting your ass beat, is there, is there, is there, do you hit a point where you're looking to think about it? Where you're like, well, I'm fucking in this now. And so there's no getting out of this. So, like, when you just got it up, there's only one choice. You're going to keep going

“or you don't. You have to make a mental decision. You have to, I'm going to keep going or I'm not.”

And, but how do you like the urge to flange to you when you get around fucking, like, how do you fight that urge like it slows down? And I mean, it's one of the things, I just don't know if you know, I don't know if you, that kind of, if you ever seen a seal, if you ever seen a seal in a gunfight, and be a little like, like, I don't want to say, like, I don't want to say it, like, I don't want to say it pussy to you because you're not. You're a seal in a gunfight. But if you ever, if you ever

been with a seal and you got a gunfight and you're like, you're right, dude. No, shit. It happens at all levels, man. And they just, like, what is it just more like they get flinchy? They get, like, more, like, I don't want to fucking, like, I don't want to put my head around the corner. You mean, like, straight froze? No, no, I've seen people freeze. I've seen people hiding bathtubs. I've seen,

I've seen it all, you know, but, I mean, a lot of times first time, you know, it's, I think that's

a benefit of experience, right? You've been a lot of fucking gun fights. So, like, you're probably really comfortable. Somebody's shooting at you. So, this comfortable as you can be. It's, I mean, I used to say it'd rather be face down in a ditch with bullets flying over me than public speaking. So, that was home to me. When I was not, now I wonder how I would, now I don't wonder like, how, how would I react after all these years? Well, I was younger than I almost killed somebody.

I mean, I was, like, seconds away from her in this guy. It's a party. And my buddy invited me over and, um, fucking, so he, like, I'm at this party. It's kind of a weird party. I didn't really want to be. There's got strange with people they're weird. So, my buddy starts wrestling, I mean, like, I kind of hit it with a hip toss and he puts his fucking, and I was in, I was younger, bro. I mean, I literally wanted to die. Like, I had a death wish. So, he puts a hole in the wall.

Girl comes downstairs and says, uh, say, you got to pay for it. And at this moment, I'm like a polygetic. Hey, sorry dude, my bad. Like, I was like, 18 years old. Like, I didn't do it. He did it. I'll leave by my pain for it. Comes downstairs again as I'm walking towards the door.

“Say, you know what? My boyfriend says you have to, but she had it. She said it in a way of, like,”

fear and threatening. Like, she was fearful, but she also was like threatening me. And I was like, well, no, you want to tell your boyfriend if you want to come fucking pay for it, you can tell suck my dick and earn it. That's not it. This fucking guy. This guy fucking comes downstairs with a 12-be a shotgun. Boom, racks it. The fucking 80 you put to close my head. So, I put my hands up, right? And the door is like, over there, I'm like, dude, like, man, like, and like, I knew

my head. Like, I knew what I was going to do. Like, I was either going to die here right now, or I was like, fuck this guy up. So, I put my hands up like, dude, I'm so sorry, man. Like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm so sorry. Dude, just like, let me go home and go home. And like, I fucking, he's like, call me a fucking pussy. Oh, my grab the gun and start fucking drill them to the face. I remember there was a piece of drywall. And I started grabbing his head just slam his

head to the drywall. I didn't hit a stud and fuck, but a whole falls down. And he's now, like, he saw

“his knees now. I think his head and I fucking push kick and take the shotgun out. And I'm like,”

fucking nothing. As I presented to fucking fucking put around at him, his fucking girlfriend.

jumps on top of them. It starts begging for his life. And I think about this girl all the time.

Because like, if it wasn't for her jumping on top and begging for his life, again, it's too sliced. Sure, dude. Yeah. So it's like, it's kind of weird, dude. I mean, yeah, so I'm going back to gun fights. I think when I think when you're in it and you're resigned to it and you're just real focused, like, there's nothing you can't do or like, if you know overcome. Oh, and answer a question. When you're in a fight and you're getting to let me shit kicked out of you and you know you're

going to lose. You just tell yourself, one, I don't want to get finished. I'm not going to be a

“bitch. And two, maybe I get lucky. The only thing you're thinking about is like, baby, I can get lucky.”

It only takes one. So you still have the will to fight. Yeah, like, I know I'm not going to win. I know I've lost every round. Maybe I get lucky. Just put your hands up and maybe you get lucky. Yeah, we got lucky. Oh, no, I've got the shit kicked out. I'm nice. I think you're kicking down me.

No, I just can't think you get the shit kicked out of me. Yeah, no, no, never do. Yeah, no. What is your

mindset when you walk into a fight? Actually, hold on. Before we move on, you know, Sean, I'm a fan. And I need you to sign something. There's probably not going to be the typical thing you sign. I love that you got kicked out of Trump's 80th birthday party. Oh, let's go, man. So I'm going to use the show as the certificate of authenticity. Actually, by the way, you know, I joke. These guys, they did detain me and they did like,

they did trust pass me. And I don't think they were charged with, but these guys, these marshals, see my fucking life. Dude, when I saw that, I was like, oh, you shit. I bet those dudes love to do with that. Oh, they, they saved my talking life. So like, what people don't understand is when you're in a crowd. Like, I mean, sure, if you've done security in your world, crowds, like, thank you. You understand how people die. Let's go. Yeah, by the way, those marshals,

so like, if you guys are watching, man, thank you. You guys saved my fucking life. They're watching.

So, so dude, when you're in a crowd, the first time I was in a crowd and I've experienced it,

so I was at a UC fan Expo. And I just thought it was like gay and lame. I don't want to do it. So I walked in the crowd. Like, this is fucking gay. I want to go fight a fan or do something fun. And then like, they start forming around you. And they're like, everything just like,

“there's a wall of people around you. And I remember telling this guy, hey, dude, like, back the”

fuck up and like he had so much fear on his face because he couldn't back up because he's in this crowd of the wall. People was like, I can't. And at that moment, you're like, oh, man, I understand how people die in a crowd. So what happened is I was like, once I snuck in, I was like, you know, I'm going to try to be like, really like undercover. And then once I was made by the fans, like, if I didn't jump in that ring, people would have died. You're talking about

thousands of people would gather around you. And they start pushing and pushing and pushing and then you create this wall of fucking people. So when I jumped in the ring, it was like, this is the only place I could go where I walk in a die. Wow. Beezerides elevated their sides. So I was like, well, at least I'm safe in this ring. And then once the Marshalls came to get me out, I mean, they were fighting people back. Like, they were shoving people, checking people,

like, if it wasn't for them, somebody could have died by me being there. And I mean, I feel like an asshole in the process, but I don't even think about that. I was like, I'm just going to hide in the wall. But like crowds man there. So those Marshalls, we're talking about these big corn fed and fucking people. They were just checking fans, dragging people out. I'm shoving fans off me. Yeah. If it wasn't for them, dude, somebody would have died. They, they 100% saved some

life that day. Sure. Yeah. If you're been in the middle of the crowd. Oh, yeah, bunch of times. Yeah. It's like, it's just, it's like, the sky. That's the scariest shit. You take one. You can't, you can't identify but there's so many people. But for me, it's more the compared. Like, you take one person that weighs 150 pounds, 200 pounds, that you add a thousand of them pushing on each other. You create this

“wall. That's why people like get trampled and suffocating crowds. And you just fucking die.”

But yeah, those Marshalls man, they, they fucking saved my life, dude. So anyways, that's awesome. Marshall, thank you guys. What happened there? I got to know the story. So, you know, so that's the story of the studio. Yeah. So, Trump, uh, you, if she was like, hey, you know, you want to go, you want to go, I want to go the fight. So I bought tickets. So my gross family's up there. I had to go tell them something. So I already, please find the trips.

Like, you know, I'll just make a fucking detour. So I made a detour and then Hunter call me and was like, hey, you know, you didn't get clear, man. Sorry. Like, the White House wouldn't clear you in my joy. I, of course, I didn't fucking clear. That was shocking. I was shocked when Hunter

yeah, I shouldn't actually play clear me. And then I let me go. So I wasn't surprised, right?

But then I told you, she will, like, you least, let me go to the fan fest. Like, let me go to, like, to the gates and like, go hang out with fans. Like, I'm already there. Like, let me go say what's up in the UFC fucking boom. And I was like, hey, you know, like, why don't you guys just give me some security? So I can go say what's up. You see nothing, nothing. And then even my manager reached out to him was like, you know, Sean's going to sneak in and go, right? And like,

can you give him security? Like, I'm sorry. We can't. So it's like, they, uh, and I still was like, fuck, I'm still going to go anyways, you know, but yeah, I know that UFC, the Trump administration,

“I think I was just salty for the UFC because, like, Trump blacklisted me from the White House,”

but the UFC blacklisted me from the whole event. They gave me some security. Yeah, they didn't

make me exerted. They didn't give me passes. There was like a big fan event. Well, the fighters went, they don't let me go. But they would have fucking known. I mean, I don't blame the UFC, because I would have been up there with a microphone. Like, hey, guys, at least fucking pedophiles. What are you fucking doing here? It's fucking Trump dude. How many times is your name in the list? So I can't blame them. Are you the one that said why would I go fight for a bunch of pedophiles?

Uh, yeah, I think I said, like, something like that. I like, I mean, so everyone's like, well, why did you want to go? I'm like, I get separate politics and fighting. Like, it's cool. It's at the fucking White House, man. It's the once in a lifetime event. Of course,

I'd fucking go. But I, I don't blame the UFC and I don't blame the White House, because

fucking Trump's appreciate it. And I would have definitely said that on live TV. And they would have been a big shit show. So I don't blame anybody. Right on, man. I own it. I fucking own it. I love it. So what are you getting ready for? What are you going to fight again? All right now. So I have this AC joint separate. It's not bad. Dude, I just need probably a couple more months. Just to let it heal up. Like, I mean, you'll see me rubbing it right now. I just fucking scrubbing.

But I need, I don't know, man. It's all about money. You know, people talk about like, who's the fight? Who do you want to fight? I don't give a fuck. Just pay me well. I'll fucking fight anybody. Dude, I'll go fight. I'll go out. I'll go to heavyweight if you pay me well. So fighting to me is really just a job. And I like the fans. Well, Pauli market, Scott, you is the favorite to still be middleweight champion at the end of

2026. You're leading the odds. How do you see the rest of 2026 playing? How do I bad dude? I should just fucking ride the bench, 2026. What are you hoping for? No, I mean, my shoulder heals the fight fight. I like fighting dude. I like even, you know, going back to like the who I am as a person, I am better when I'm in camp. Like, so me being injured out of camp, I'm fucking dude. Like, I'm like, I'm not doing well. Like, I'm not doing fucking well. Like, I was in Florida. I'm not doing well. Like,

I'm not doing well. I like, I'm trying to create enemies. I don't have. I'm trying to pick fights and aren't there. Like, everybody's out to fucking get me right now. And I'm fully aware that like, I'm in limbo because my injury. So me being in limbo, I'm just like, I just I'm fucking just spiraling. You know, I'm just like trying to, you don't do well in idle. Fuck no dude. I need to have something to fly. I need to have some kind of misery. I need to have something like, I need to force

myself to die. I need to, I need to wake up every day and back I want this to be over. That's more. I'm at my best. This where I'm like, you know, whatever I want to hate this, you know, like, it's like tuition and shit. It's like fucking twitching. Dude, I hope you start helping kids, man. You could, you could have a lot of power for my generations. My girl hates it. It's just a hate it, but like, I'm like, I'm really fucking twitching and I hide it so well in public.

“But like, I'm so fucking, do you have any twitches or like, tickling like that?”

Uh-huh. So like, sometimes, like, I think about thoughts a lot and like they make me fall comfortable and I don't think I know the process of motion. So like, whilst we're seeing they have a conversation like fucking like twitch, I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? I can't help it. I'm trying not to. I can't fucking just come out. The most crowds crowds a lot of people, you don't know a lot of them, but also a lot of them are my girl. I twitch a lot more on her. No shit.

Because I think I'm trying to like hide who I am, right? So like, I have all these thoughts in my head. They're like, Newsy really fucked up thoughts. Like, I've ever like, like, real fucked up thoughts. So I think she doesn't know this. No, she knows it, but like, it makes me so uncomfortable that, uh, I feel like I just like, I think it just manifests itself in like a physical reaction, because like, they saw I'm looking at my wife and they're so fucking uncomfortable. So fucked up.

“Like, I think it just manifests itself in a, in a way. I used to be able to like, I still do”

every now and then if I really have a bad thought. And I say bad thought. It could be anything like

I say you, sorry, fucking do it all the time. Still, but every time I have a thought, you guys try to help you. Every time I have a thought, I can't get out of my head, I visualize myself shooting

myself at the head and like, I always visualize the same thing. I just like, I'll be talking,

I'll be talking to my wife, I thought, I'm sorry. I just think about like, the slow motion,

“like, bullet, just like, entering and fracturing and expanding. And I think about the actual visual image”

of it. And it like, I just focus on that thought here. And like, it just blinks me out. Oh, and then it's a thought. And then it's a thought's too big. And I can't get it out. I'll even just like, touch my head a little bit. It's like, and I, there's almost like I put my finger on my head and I could like put my finger on the temple. I could actually like see that you're doing extra of the bullet coming out. And like it just blinks my mind right out. Whoa. But it just helps you to

just help. Dude, that is dark. Well, it just helps because like you just like, it's such an extreme, like, it's such an extreme visual and mental image. It just, just, all whatever I'm thinking about now and the moment I start focusing on that, it just takes everything away. You think, how do you make your wife? Now funny enough dude. We actually, I mean, this was like, tender. Yeah, tender seven years ago. Oh, shit. Are you serious? But so I wasn't as famous

back then, right? I was like, dude, did you really meet her on tender? Yeah, I was just trying to, but I was just trying to get laid dude. No, I was just trying to get fucking laid. Like, I was trying to get laid. What was your profile pic? I don't know. Do you? I don't think I really, any of you just meet like, I think I was meet right on a horse or something dude. I was like,

“I try to make myself look non threatened. I wanted to be fine, but non threatened. That's what you want.”

No, this is me not being a psychopath. Yeah, no, you don't find out about after you're being trapped. So anyways, I like horses. Yeah, I like horses. Yeah, I'm a good guy. So anyways,

I meet her and I always laugh because if you go back to our first meeting and say, hey, like,

you guys should be married one day. We would both look at each other and I'm like, are you fucking retarded? Like, what the fuck? So my girl, by the way, I had this old shitty Nissan fucked up truck and she sees me on my truck. And like, she's, she's really together. Two degrees, her dad is like in the go fuck yourself wealthy category. Like, I had a sign of prenapping. Like, I had a sign of prenapping. I'm just because you know, I'll risk people work. Like, risk people put assets in different names.

So it's like the dowels that you're not letting other fucker. You're not letting this motherfucker anywhere near my money. And he's looking at his daughter. Are you serious with the shit? So dude. And like,

“we had this conversation once. Oh, man, I'll tell you funny story. So I had monkeypox. The first time I met him.”

That's the up. Chris Curtis. No racism. Oh, I'm in the gym dude. I'm in the gym. And my buddy, Chris Curtis, black guy. And I'm monkey, but he just happened to be black, you know. So I'm in the gym. And he has like some spots on him. Like, bro, that doesn't look right. And mind you, this guy's like, one of my closest friends. I mean, him getting a fights all the time. Like, fist fight. We've probably been in five fist fights. Like, we fight. He's a dirty fucking liberal, you know. But we get a fight all the time.

It's like, you got some like weird spots on you. Like, are you okay? He's like, oh, yeah, no, I'm good dude. Just a pimple. I'm like, all right. Dude, like, that's cool. Hopefully I can pair some watches. They probably don't. But so I was like, that's cool dude. And he's out of the gym. Like, two fucking weeks. So my girl, my girl's like old school. Like, you don't meet her family. Like, guys don't meet the family. Like, my fucking, my house was like that. I'm like, be fucking 16 years old.

Having sex up in the fucking room. Like, she'll be walking out half naked past the family. Like, that was now my family was. You're like, like, we had no boundaries in my family. Dude. So so like, me and her parents was a big fucking thing for her for me. I'm like, oh, man, it's weird to actually date a girl that has a dad. But I'm not really used to that. Usually it's like, usually my past experiences like, I did tell me how your dad molested you.

And then I have to feel real bad about that. But I love it. But I love it. My girl saved

me from it. What you guys do? What it was the first day. We just went to total opposites.

No, we just went to Starbucks and hang out. We talked to about uh, it was funny. Because like, me, I'm on my worst behavior. I'm talking like one of the like, the brisa guys. I'm like, you some kind of faggy, work at Starbucks. He's like, no, I'm, man, I'm a libertarian. I like guns. Like, my girl is saying, like, what the fuck? Upstate New York girl. So I meet her family, dude. I meet her fucking family. And I, like, all the sudden, I have, like,

I'm an emotional guy. I'm an emotional guy. Just who I am. Like, I don't know why. I just like, like, uh, I mean, I was like, I talked to this vet the other day. And I almost started fucking

Arlington. Bro, and he said that. And like the way he said it, he even thanked about it. Like,

“it almost fucked me up. Like, just hearing him say that. Like, you should go meet my brothers. Like,”

and Arlington, like, it's fucking it. Fuck me up. Like, even the thing about makes me want to crowd emotional guy. So anyways, I start talking to her and I have no shame. And I, you know, I'm, I could be a pussy some days. So I start talking to her fucking dad. And he starts, like, inquiring about my life about my dad. And mind you, I have this fucking, I have this, like, massively high fever. Because the monkey box, you get a fever. And then you get the rash. So like,

all over dinner, some are not in the right mindset. I'm fucking jacked up on a path. And like, I probably have like a higher than three fever. I'm trying to keep it together. And I start talking about my childhood. My brother raised me. Like, my brother is like, for all rights are wrong or indifferent. Like, he fucking, he raised me. Like, he, he raised me. And I start telling the story. I'm going to try to keep my shit together. I tell the story. I'm going to try to keep it together,

guys. Don't fucking, I'm going to keep my shit together. I can't look what I say. So there is one day. My brother strapped like knives. And we're talking about elementary school strapped knives. Two is like his pants. And his plan was to go sit next to my dad instead. Fuck him. And so I'm like telling the story. And I got to stay animated because if I actually feel that, you know, I'm going to break me down. So if I stay animated, I just like, I'm good,

think about the bull. Think about the bull. So I'm telling the story. And like, I just are crying. And my dry high fever, you know, but like, I was like, just trying to explain to him what

it was like. I just started first time my parents fucking crying, trying to keep my shit together.

Because I started telling that story. And he he asked me. Like, I didn't, it was no unsolicited vibe. So just trying to explain. And I also had a really high fucking fever. Like I was bodily delirious. Yeah, for a time out of parents. I had like a fucking break down. Not a breakdown. It was just more sick. Yeah. No, it's what brother raised me. I just need a sick one sick. And then so then I go home. What does he say to that? He dude his life. They're like, when you

my girl's family, I mean, the dad was the grandfather on the mom side. Well, loved in the town. And they have like sock. They have like golf tournaments. He was a coach at like some good college. War or two that POW about the boy, the phrases on her. Her dad, her dad's a business owner, he inherited the business. Like, and they have like they have they have a long lineage of like success and stability. My lineage is like fucking mental illness and permanent disability. So it's like,

you know, he has to kind of wrap his head around that. Yeah. I told him. I didn't just similar families. Yeah, right father and law kind of same deal. And yeah, yeah. Yeah, I do for me. You're

“fucking worried. But you're the American fucking hero. My man. Like, I don't think that's how they saw it.”

You know, don't chill in the Columbia part. So anyway, as I go break you, I have a breakdown. And I go home and like, I wake up. I thought I texted my girl. I'm like, I had a leaves. All right. I have a massive fever. I'm fucked up. I wake up. Did I have legions all over my body from monkey box? And I call her. I was like, you mother fucker, dude. Do you get along with them? Oh, yeah, I know they're they're fucking great dude. They're like, um, they're great. They're like, like,

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“Do you get along with their loss? I do. Yeah. It took a little bit. Yeah, I think they still,”

I think they would still rather not be with the doctor. I think if they get snap their fingers, they probably say no. But I mean, whatever dude, it's funny. I say the story a lot, but after we got married, and we go meet him for breakfast. And with Jaddle Blame, when we go meet him for breakfast, and he looks at me, we're saying our goodbyes, shakes my hand, you go, Sean. I didn't think you were going to be my son-in-law, but here we are. He just walks the fuck away,

the holy shit. I just, but you, I know who I am, bro. Like I should, I grew up like, I mean, I fucking know who I am dude. I'm fucking high school dropout. I, the only reason why I'm not fucking institutionalized is because I hit people in the fucking head. Like, I'm a fucking loser. Like, and now I was like, oh, no, no, no, I am. Like, who I, I mean, if the, my, where I came from, like, I mean, girls are getting fucking like, I remember being in the fucking,

like junior high and chicks are getting fucking double-teamed in my fucking living room. Like, that's who I came from, right? Like, like, we didn't have fucking, like, I mean, we didn't have clean towels. You, we had, like, the communal fucking towel that after, like, fucking three weeks it turned out this is like moldy fucking mess, and now you're debating, do I take the sheet off my bed or why he's the moldy towel, and I'm only going to take the sheet off the bed. But you know,

the thing about my parents, see, they were never like, we were very middle class. Like, we were

very, I, I probably lower. They were, like, a meat cutters. They worked an hour since the other. But when you're white trash, you're just fucking, she's just been fucking money. So back, you got all, you know, the beer, the alcohol, whatever the fuck out there buying, you're just from four. But it's why, like, kids do need to start investing, man. So like, do you know what I mean? I know you think that of yourself, but薩, I'm telling you, dude. Like,

I'm still gonna have such an impact on today's youth. I cannot tell you. I am so fucking lucky. I'm, I'm so lucky, dude. Like, if I go back and I look at all my life from like the, the, the fucking revolver to almost shooting the guy and even so much other than like, like, you want to talk about God, like, I am so lucky because if any, if any one of these thousand events happen any other way, it would not be here today, or I'd be in, in a prison case somewhere. We're blood,

you just said that. Yeah. My girl's dad actually finally won Christmas. You'd best get to every game. He gave me like a $500 check and he handed me a laptop. And like, us, this cool man, I don't fucking need your money. Like, I know what I want your money. He's like, no, no, no. He opened up a Charles Swab account and he's like, you're gonna start investing. Like,

my girl met me at a million dollars under a bag and then my bad. Like, yeah, what am I going to

do in a bag? And she was like, are you fucking stupid? I'm like, I don't know. So now I like, I start investing

“and like, it's one of those things. I think one of the things about like, when you meet really wealthy”

people, they don't tell you it's so easy to make money in America and they just, they don't teach you that as a kid. So like, and I don't mean like, I'm not one of those like people that are like, oh, you're fucking stupid. Like, I was trying to explain to my girls like, babe, you're talking about investing in the money. Like, do you think I ever gave a fuck about that? Like, do you think I really, do you think I really had the thought process to say, if I could put $100 now and 10 years,

it would be 5,000, 10,000. Like, I didn't, I didn't have that thought process. So do you my girl really changed my life? If it wasn't for her, I'd be in such a, I'd be in such a bad place. I'd probably be with some fucking porn star, only fans, girl, just like, you know, just going deeper into it. Because I mean, even dude, even like, I mean, I was a piece of shit and like, my, once I, like, I got like my initial thing, it wasn't because I was a good guy. It was because like,

I let people know, like, do you know, I'm a piece of shit and I love it? Like, I don't do drugs. I do all my mistakes over. This is who I am. And my girl really, like,

“really stopped and said, like, you can't be a piece of shit if you want to be with me,”

which was fucking real hard. Is that the first time you've ever had exposure to a family like that?

it's so weird, man, when you think about, like, honestly, like, after seeing her family, I don't know,

if I'm gonna have grateful for my family. Because you know, dude, they're, they're really rich, white, bro. It's different. There's like these, there's like these hierarchies and like, they love each other, but there's like, separation from church and state. Like, there's separation between, like, I'm the dad, you're the daughter. Like, it's a very, like, it's not coal, you know, they, they love each other and they do everything for each other.

But it's like a very cold environment, right? Like, right, wrong or indifferent. I might have known who my mom was banging when I was an elementary school. But I knew, you know, so like, it was a Christmas, dude, it was Christmas of the whites. And like, the first Christmas I've ever been to the whites, dude. And it was like, I remember sitting there, like, what the fuck am I doing here? So like, they love food, white people love food. Like, when you,

when you, when you saw the whites, like, I always saw a story. They, they go when they buy these,

like, really nice cheeses and shit, the whites love cheeses. You know, they go when they buy, like, you know, like, a whole basket like this is like, good. Uh, this is like, aged cheese. There's fucking mold on these cheese. And they, like, because it's like a Christmas thing. So like, if you guys ever want to make a white person happy, get some cheese, apparently. So, so anyways, they, the dad goes, well, hey, daughter, um, do you know where you're, like,

your cheese knives are at? And she's all dad. Sorry, like, uh, we just have regular knives. Oh, I don't have a set. And do the dad and she'll look back. Like, that's not what

“how it happened. And the dad looked at her, like, how the fuck do you not have a cheese knife?”

I think I do not have a cheese knife. You know, there was a fucking cheese knife. Dude, where's your security board? So I'm going to see in the witness scene, all this, like, the most upsetting thing about your guys' days. You don't have a fucking cheese knife. Like, okay, I mean, what the fuck? So I'm, I'm just saying they're, like, watching this interaction.

And I'm just, like, taking it all in and absorbing it and looking how the white's live. I always say

there's whites and there's whites, bro. And, like, to her family's eyes, bro, I ain't a fucking white man. Like, I am, like, I'm not white. So later on, as a, as a, as a dinner progresses, come to get so fucking. I'm going to give you all that, tell me, sorry, go, whatever. It's good, bro. It's a compliment to your family. I always tell you, like, baby, it's a compliment. I didn't grow up that way. Like, no, no, I was doing the Christmas as part of trying to

fucking have sexual horror upstairs, like, that was not like, it's good. So, they're all, like, they cook all day long and they go and they buy it like this nice organic, rest, grass thread, fucking primer, and then the backyard all day long, like, poking and prodding this fucking piece of meat, like, oh, man, they got a tinder that is. It's been on, it's been on for this long and I'm just saying they're like, this is the most boring white ash I've ever been at,

like we need to fight some fucking people over here. Like, give me a fucking beer bottle that had any day over this. Like, I would, I would rather go fucking fight my brother, because he said some shit than be here, but it's nice. So then we have dinner and look around and everyone's real nice, either talking about like investments and stock accounts and, you know, the coffee

“fucking, the coffees in. So I'm like, hey, guys, how do you guys feel about God?”

Like, yes, they're like, it's like, I saw the brother. I'm like, so do you do you partake? Do you believe, I mean, is Christmas, do you believe in baby Jesus? And the mom and the mom goes, yeah, you know, do you believe in Christ? And I'm just laughing because I'm like, they're so structured and so unenvolved in each other's lives that they don't even know like the belief system of their kids, because there's so many layers of structure in their lives. You were the father, you were the mother,

you are a kid, which I think is good to have these like layers of like my girl loves her dad. She's a dad, she's girl, like she, she shouldn't have been a tomboy, you know. So they start talking about it and I'm just like absorbing all this, like, huh, because the way I grew up, you're like, our Christmas dinner, you're like, I mean, I'm not as a doll as a kid, my brother would be like, oh, I'm going to go fucking bang my girlfriend of this

whore, I'm like, this is that Christmas dinner conversation, you know? So you watch this and you're

“just like, huh, this is how you guys live. It's really fucking boring. That's why I feel here in”

this town, by the way, I just walk around, like, oh, fuck that 90. Where are the black people up? Give me some blacks, give my people. No, but yeah, so you're with a white, you know, it's like, this is a good town, then. What people care about here is, God, don't fuck with our kids.

I always say rednecks, and I think we'll say the country, like, we just need more fucking rednecks.

Oh my, you guys, I have rednecks to be in black redneck, you'd be yellow, redneck, I don't think of a fuck, but like the mentality of a redneck, just hard work in God, fear, and people, it's like a dying breed man, makes you real sad. Do you think of kids? Yeah, I want to have kids. I want to have kids. Me and my girl talking about it. She went and got justice. She's all good. We might do IVF. She doesn't need IVF, but I think you could pick a boy, and I know God's going to

curse me with a girl, you know? What do you have boy girl? That boy in the girl. Yeah, we first. So the shult's messed up. The shult's method. I think is what they call it. It works. What's the shult method? I'm going to butcher this. My wife. I just do what she says,

but we really wanted a boy first, and when she started tracking the, what, the ovulation cycle,

there's there's specific, so let me think. So the boy's sperm, the male sperm is really fast, but it dies really quick. So, whatever point during the ovulation cycle, it's the, you don't have

“sex until until like the egg has dropped. Yeah. So you have to look this up, so I don't know.”

You've got to find the time and it's the time. Yeah, so it's the timing. So as soon as the egg drops, you know, and they can like track all this stuff. That's when you have sex. And then the male sperm swim to the top and they, they fertilize the egg and the females are slower. Right? Sure, shit. We had a boy. No, shit. And then you do the actual one. We wanted a girl. So this, so with the girl, yeah, but you're in Lidgesburg, I call it a new bone. So with it, with the girl,

with the female, you want to have sex before the egg drops. And so you have sex in all the male, swim up there as fast as they can and they die. And the female ones, they swim slower, but they live longer. So the female ones are all hanging around in there waiting for the egg to drop. And then when it drops, they fertilize the egg. Let me tell you now, this is happening. It worked two times in a row. And I'm calling my girl right now, dude. Schulz method. Yeah, no. I just know

God will curse. Now she has to listen to podcast. No, no, no. I know God will curse me with the girl. God doesn't look at me. And there's a God. He doesn't look down on me. He's like, you think after all the damage you've done, you get a boy. Fuck no. It's time for you to repent, sir. Have a fucking girl. God, God, girl is something else, man. But also to, like, I would probably better the girl,

“because, like, I think that I'm probably a little bit too, like, hard on men, you know,”

yeah, but down for each you saw, I don't know, man. But, like, so if I'm gonna do an IVF, my girl doesn't want you to get pregnant, but I'm like, I really, like, go spend 50 grand and build a pickup boy, like, that is kind of worth it. Girls are cool. I bought trucks for more. You get 11 both. Yeah, no, I mean, I should just do the old school way, but yeah, no, I mean, I want, I think one of the hard things for me with having a family is I'm kind of

mentally stuck as who I was as a kid. And I know this might say, like, this might seem weird to a lot of people. A lot of people can relate to this, but like, I am a 35-year-old grown-ass man. I know who I am, but mentally there's a part of me that is still stuck in that person. So to actually think about, like, being a dad, waking up to a kid in the next room, like, to like, to raise a kid to be, like, you know, better than I am, which really will be the arm, right?

And if I'm a Vimey to do anything, but if I can make it, but like, a part of me is kind of stuck in that mentality of who I was, and I was like, 16 years old. It's hard for me to picture that, but I feel like he's got to do to make the mistake and just fucking figure it out. The change is it. But it's hard, man. It's hard to get out of that, like, and I think a lot of people, too, that have not a lot of people, but a lot of people, like,

they have it, they have like inspiration, you know? Like, yeah, you're going to grow up and be a fucking dad. Like, you're going to do this and that. Like, that's not me, man. It was like, if you fucking had it, you're not to grow a punch in the stomach, like, you're a fucking idiot.

You know, like, you're like, like, that was never an option. Like, being a dad was never an option

for me. I never wanted it. And now, with my girl and like, I'm, you know, I'm established. Yeah. I'm not the next chapter of life. Maybe make, make me, you know, change a little bit or not. It's not taking my church, right? Raise them as a Christian.

“You should, and I probably would. I would. July for Christian. Um, I think there, I think their family”

would all be agnostic. Like, I think if you really, I think if you really had to ask them,

I don't know if like gun to the head, that would be like the answer in their heart.

“So I think they would move for more falling agnostic. But my girl on the church every Sunday,”

like they still go to church for Christmas. I think it's just like when you're white, deus, which if you're white, you're Christian, like, what you do, you're white, man. And like, but they, upstate New York is kind of like a farm town, you know, very different. We, I don't know. Yeah, I would probably, that's hard. How do you raise your kid? You raise them to be a replacement. Yeah. Okay. I'm like, and be Christian. All right. I guess I'll raise

Christian. But yeah, man. Yeah, life's interesting to you. It is. Well, I got a hot question for you. Ready? That's your way. Sean, there's a video out there. A lot of my audience has seen. Your ring camera catches a guy at your house in Vegas. You grabbed a pistol,

one out into the street in the whole thing ends up online. Take me back to that moment from the second

you saw him on that camera to the decision to go outside. What was actually going through your head? So, a backstory, not a backstory, but another story, to like, describe it away. I mean, you're the same way. You're the same fucking way. I'm driving. I'm on the phone with Nina. He's my good friend. We're so you see, in this homeless guy, walks in front of him. And I'm driving away to you fucking fast, slam on the bridge, fucking throws his bike in front of me, throws his bike in front of me.

I rolled down the window. I can't go forward because it's a bike in front of me. I pull out my gun. I put in my hand because I don't know if this fuck at home. This guy's a gun. And I shouldn't try to stab me. I really don't have to fucking draw from like sitting. You know. It's not like standing with the gun on my hand and he gets something. Rolls down the window. Fuck you, fuck you. I'm just like, hey, I got a fucking wrong dude. You know how many

you put your hands up and he walks away. And then Nina was like, Sean, you realize that you're on a car. You could have just drove away. I was like, I guess I could have. That's like, I guess yeah,

I guess you could just, I guess you, I don't think I would never walk away from the conflict. Like,

I just don't like, to me, if there's none for this, who's in the car with it? No, I was on a phone Nina talk a lot of it. And like, she's on the phone here and we have this conversation point out in gun and like, hey, you're a good dog. And now mind you getting a weapon no knife. So I just like once he's in the gun he backed away. But it's like, um, but uh, like, so Nina was like, why don't you just drive away? You're in a car. I'm like, Nina, I just don't think

like that. Like, I'm sure you're the same way. If there's a problem, you're not thinking like, I'm going to go this way. Like, I'm a grown ass fucking man. I'm not going to go this way. This is where I'm going. So back to that, just to understand my mindset, right? Saying that I get a wringler and there's some guy like hiding like, not hiding, but I thought to be trying to steal my truck, which is a really shitty truck. I don't know why I didn't want to

“put things on. I like it. But that's why I thought you're trying to steal my truck.”

So I took my girl like way inside. I grabbed my, I think it was a sig. It was a sig. I think it was the smaller 365. So I go out there and I'm like, hey, what the fuck are you doing? He gets up and he like, you know, you see the video. And he was just a weak pathetic man. Like he was so fucking weak, so pathetic. Like at that moment, you're like, there's no threatening thing about you. Like you're not a threat. There's nothing wrong with you. So he starts walking like, no, no,

it's like, wait, dude. And the security car, a security comes up and says, stop that guy. So now it's like, I'm assuming that this guy did something fucked up or very bad. And like, he's trying to be arrested. So now I'm like, well, okay, if I walk out and he keeps walking, I just shove him down. I'm going to gun at him. And I'm like, you know, wait. Turns out he beat up his sister. They're at a liquor store. He beat the fucking of the sister.

And then the sister jumped out of the car. He drove his car, hit a hit something, had a flat tire, parked right outside my house. It was hiding between my truck. I thought he was trying to steal my truck. But that was a real story. So I go on and the security guards start telling me, like, no, he beat the hell out of this girl. He just crashed his car. And I'm on the phone with cops right now. So I'm like, hey, you're not leaving, you just went for the cops to come. And then the cops were like,

you know, we're really busy. And I just let him go. And we have his name and information. We

“had the war. So you have to turn himself in tomorrow. And I'm like, all right, hey, you're free to go,”

dude, enjoy your night. Holy shit. Yeah. You just beat the shit out of his sister and then like, yeah, a little bit. It's Vegas, man. It's fucking Vegas and shit. Well, so he comes back later that night with his wife. And that was wife with him. And I just see because I look out the window when he's

Comes back the next day with his fucking daughter. And that's why I blurred his face because I was like,

“you know, I don't want to like, I blurred your face once you came back with your kid. So he's like,”

he needs like a white trashed fucking du link where he's trying to, he can't change his fucking tire on the car that he wrecked to drive out of there. So he's with his daughter. And I'm like, this is so fucked up. So I walk outside. I'm like, hey, dude, I'm the guy that put a gun to your head the other day. And I'm like, you need some help. And so I changed the guy's tire with him at his dog and had him at his kid, changed his tire for him, shook his hands and say, man, well, we should best.

And then I drove away. I don't know what happened to him, but it's like, yeah, that was a weird fucking day. Again, I don't hate anybody. Dude, I mean, you're a piece of shit. But again, what is

a common denominator? You're drunk. You're fucking drinking. Like, I can't like, there's this guy.

It's a big thing, big controversy, dust and point. But he's UC champion. Oh, yeah, you guys, you guys have some history. Don't you? Yeah, I made fun of him, but I make fun of everybody. Like, he went out and said, like, I was depressed and like, I was like, get the fuck out of here. Bro, you were depressed. I was like, you're rich, you're a rich fucking white man. And then a friend of a friend was like, hey, you're kind of, I was kind of fucked up. And so I was like, I do maybe

what, maybe I overstepped. So I go on, like, I called us in, I'm like, hey, man, or I text and like, hey, man, hey, sorry. Dude, like, I was like, I don't think you're the kind of guy that gives a fuck, but I was just making a joke. I was just being me. And it turned out like he was really fucked up over it. Like, he was really fucked up over it. He's like, yeah, I'm like, I was in a bad place. I drank on a plane. I embarrassed my fucking family. Like, forever. I'm, you know, I'm what he said.

He said, uh, it was good. He really, I mean, he gets a pass. He said, he's going to be a bad guy. He said, do a black cop. But he gets the pass. Nobody cares. And I was like, man, I just like, I thought it was great. Dude, I'm like, I'm, that's my new, I say that all the time. Like, I, I didn't mean that, but he was really thrown up by it. And then, oh, fuck, I shouldn't.

“I don't think it matters, but I think Bud Light's going to release him. And he kind of hinted to,”

like, he's a sponsor of the athlete by Bud Light. And then, man, maybe so fucking mad. It made me so fucking mad. Like, we're buying a Bud Light. I'm going to get a call from the fucking UFC. Why are you talking shit on Bud Light? So, Bud Light already fucking betrayed America with their fucking trend, training on beer can. Yeah, but I'm going to. So, but then, you know, I was like, but I would have a drink that she had ever ever ever ever. Yeah. So, but as in like the little, yeah.

So, they go and they sponsor UFC. I'm like, you know, man, Lisa trying. Like, they're fucking trying to redeem. They're, they're trying to go in the man category. They're not pushing this gay shit anymore. Yeah, because of the financials. Yeah. And, but before this is where, like, I kind of like lost my shit with Bud Light. It's crazy how they bought everybody out overnight. Yeah. Remember, yeah, so people should know what the machine guns are the next day. They're drinking

Bud Light on Rogan. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, you got a soul. Yeah. No, I mean, my money, my money. So, I, I talked to Dustin. And he kind of hinted that, like, they're going to turn me in his contract because he got fucked up on a plane. And I was like, how, like, how much of a piece of shit are you, Bud Light? Like, you take a guy. You want to say he's not the holiday season of bad place. He uses your product. He is a Bud Light. He is the American. And the moment something bad happens,

we're like, you kind of go, hang on your face. Like, you get a little shame because you got drunk on a plane and try to fight a black cop, which is fucking funny. He's not racist. You, like, you want to terminate his contract. Like, what Bud Light should have done. I should be the PR. They should have reached out to Dustin and say, hey, Dustin, man, you're not doing well. You might have a problem with drinking. We're a beer company. We sponsor you. But like, can we help you? Can we,

can we help you? Like, like, we want to help you. As a beer company, as American, as an American company, I know you guys do the commercials of the American flags and like the pool parties. Let it let us kind of help you. Do you need anything? That's not what they do. They're going to say, oh, you fucked up. You used our product and you fucked up. Get the fuck lost. We don't want

that bad image. And you know, I always say like, I don't drink. I never have drink nor will I drink.

“I just, I don't have the person on it for it. I think Bud Light spent $6 billion in the last 40”

years of marketing. And like, they're, they're level of marketing. It's like, and I don't want to say Bud Light. You can say every beer company. I'm just using this because they're the one that's going to drop Dustin and it like, irks my soul. But they did it, man. They sold you the American way that like, you, you're, you know, cowboy on a horse, a game, and this and that. But like,

there was no like, this isn't, this is not going to be a good day for me. Yeah. Like, when my dad walked

inside the house with a fucking pack of beer, like, I didn't look at that beer camp. Like, this is American. I want to go watch a football game and be happy. I'm like, oh, damn, I'm fucked. I ace going to be a fucking, he went with a fucking 24 pack and said 12 pack, like he's going to be a fucking night for me. So I don't have the, I don't have like that kind of relationship with alcohol.

“For me, I think alcohol is fucking poison. It's like, it is like the worst thing that is poison.”

Yeah. It's like, again, I'm a liberator and they should be a legal, but it's like, even, even with Dustin, you know, I'm happy acknowledge that it is fucked up. But I mean, it's just so easy when you're having a bad day. And I think about all the time, like, I don't do drugs, but like, I wanted to drop so fucking bad. Like, all the bad day. And I just like, I'm around my friends at drink and I'm like, man, if I just go get high right now, like, all my, like, my urges, desires could just vanish.

And I'm just going to be a happy fucking idiot for a night. Like, that sounds so fucking nice. I get it.

I just know that like, we're that fucking leads. And an alcohol always leads for the most part.

If you have, if you're one of the many Americans that have the demons, it leads a very fucked up road. Just stay away from it. Yeah. It's good advice, man. So I fucking, I don't even know how

“we got talking about Dustin and Bud Light, but we're talking about, you go on after somebody's”

saw on the ring camera. Oh, yeah, about alcohol. And then I was going to ask you what your everyday carry is. Oh, yeah, no, I got the, I got the, I got the sig, man. Not an under 320. I actually, I got the sig 365 AG, all metal, best best carry gun. The thing is, like, I will say, when I, when I carry, so you carry, say, I'm, what do you carry? Yeah, I carry, I like the 365. It depends where I go around here, where I live, I carry the the 365, the OG one, 12 plus one. Yes, I'll come back one.

If, um, yeah, I ain't nothing. If I'm, if I'm driving, you know, if I'm somewhere else, but I can spend a little more, yeah, let's, something different than I, I like carrying the 365 macro or the Legion, which same thing. You carry a spare mag with you? Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, do you really? Oh, I don't know. Those guys, yeah, I don't carry a spare mag, I should. But I'm usually like, when I carry, you know, like, in gym shorts, I'm just like, and I have,

like, the clip on wholesome, I don't do the gun belt. I mean, if I'm cruising around, you know, I'm doing, if I'm out traveling, going through towns, you know, are you a, are you a, are you a, are you a, I say, chill, or do you actually believe the product? Dude, I'm just going to carry it. I carry it a long time. Oh, I've got videos of me carrying it way before I became, um, way before I started my partnership.

“No, I think it's a best, I think it's a best, I think it doesn't sponsor me. I think it's a best gun. Yeah.”

Glock's, I find it very uncomfortable to, like, carry. I just, and then, like, you know, say, guys more capacity for the same package. The only good thing about a glock is that when I do, like, a glock 19, I present very well. Like, for something about that big, blocky thing, I just, like, grab it. I present so well, because, like, the way it shaped, but I hate fucking carrying it, because your carrying is big, blocky thing. They just, I'm fucking fatty. I'm just

kill myself. The sig to me is by far the best carry gun. I'll be, I'm glad you asked me if I'm a sig chill, because everybody calls me a sig chill. But I'll even tell you about my partnership. We started, I want a 320. Yeah. We, we, we, we, no, I was, so I would, before I started this, I was on the firearms industry, you know, I was a tactical trainer and, um, train key on a raise for John Wick. Oh, no, shit. Yeah. I had that genus shock and a really great shotgun. And, uh, I have one

in there. I've been shot. Oh, dude, it runs great. You can run per shot through it. It runs great. No, you need something else. And we should bust that out when we go to this one today. But, uh, anyways, I couldn't get a gun spot. I could not get a firearm sponsorship no matter what.

And I was reviewing the sig 365. It got, like, I don't know, a couple of million views.

Couldn't get anything. Then I started this and, um, got to, got a partnership with sig. Did they're just fucking awesome company? Yeah. And, you know, they came on and I was like, hey, I don't do exclusive stuff. Like, I like a lot of different guns. And I'm going to shoot guns. And I'm going to post other guns. And I like your stuff a lot too. But I was like, I'm not, I'm just not going to be an exclusive person. And I want to be able to shoot what I like to shoot.

And, but I do carry your stuff. And I do own your stuff. And I love your stuff. And I carry it to say 226 and the seal teams. Totally cool with that dude. They're like, yeah, do whatever. But the only, the only controversy sig happens with 320. But even 320, like, mind you,

maybe? But they don't run. They don't run well with cans. I have one. But, uh,

“but every time you watch the videos of the 320 going off,”

it's like, there's always some level of like, oh, this is not the right horse to

I put it in. Like, there's always some level of like, question, well, the last thing, the last thing that happened. And I don't know all of all the stuff behind this. But there was, there was an army, there was an army out there, a foreign force person or whatever, there was shot and killed. Yeah, but then the 320. And so they use the narrative that the 320 was going off all by itself. You know what I mean? They use that narrative to try to clear the, the, the kid used it.

Like, he used it. Well, let me tell you to his advantage. Hold on. And then, and then, they did the investigation and the kid picked up the fucking gun and pulled the trigger and shot us for end. But touching the narratives getting used to help them. So that's not your present. Oh, well, well, let me, let me finish that. So touching on that. This is why, like, I kind of had to come to Jesus moment with sig and I had to kind of like redress it because I was the same way.

When I, when I heard that story, not only that, I was kind of like fucking used to it. I went out and mad at sig because I was like, because I carry a sig. I have like, fucking five sig guns here. So I kind of got mad at it. And I kind of jumped on the fucking sig hate bandwagon. And then once the real story came out, I'm like, man, I just shit post sig for like,

“fucking months and it turns out this guy shot himself. So I think in even in the videos, you'd like,”

they're always weird. You know, it's like, oh, they're re-holstering on a whole series.

It's not made for the gun. Like, it's just very weird. And I think because it's such a common gun. So if there's any video of this going off because someone putting the gun, it's probably one of those fucking popular guns. But just by proxy in video, you're going to see that. But yeah, no, I'm just fucked with him. I, I fuck was sick. I had, I own six. I like fucking sig. I'm glad you brought it up. But anyway, let me grab it. Oh, shit. So, uh, you know what this is?

You look excited, Sean. What's the, uh, I'm just saying it starts with the next, right? What's the fuck's the call? This is the sig 300 blackout rattler. Yeah, the fucking rattler. He's got a collapsible stock here, folding stock. I mean, flip up irons. It's got sig's new, um, optic, which I forget the name of. Sorry. So it flashlight and sig suppressor. So, um,

“you want to test this out? Oh, my god, man, I'm a lucky tube out of the next one. Are you really?”

I really appreciate the Andy safety and the nice. Now, I can't afford a shooter on a blackout. Oh, um, touch the microphone. No, I can't afford a shooter on a blackout. Oh, I think you can. Well, wow, maybe your rich white in laws will buy us some 300 blackout to go with it. Or maybe single be extra generous and just send you some. Yeah, I think, hook it up, man. I'm not at this point. Yeah, I got it. My buddy Jason over there, I told him you're coming on. He got all excited.

And I'll tell you another bad thing about sig is so the sheriff's department that's just to the

west of here. They have a horrible budget. They have like a $3 million budget to run the

entire department. Friends with somebody that works over there and he was telling me the guns they're running. And he's like, dude, we got like these old S, like, I don't want to destroy any company, sir, but this company upper, the barrels are shot out, different lowers. And he's like, we don't have any optics. And he's like, guys, they're starting to ask, but they could just run their own stuff. And they don't want us to. Dude, I got pissed. I was like, I can't fucking believe they're

sending. And they don't have a choice. They have no funding. You know, $3 million for the whole fucking department is nothing. It costs more than that to run this. And so I was like, this is, I can't believe this shit. So I just, I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to have that this department myself, if I have to. And I called Jason up at SIG. And I was like, hey, dude, this is the deal. I was like, can you guys, even if you just give it to me, it cost. And so

me and SIG are going in together. We're going to split it. And we're going to outfit that entire SWAT team with brand new rifles and optics. And another bad ass thing about that company is, are you familiar with the roadblock shit? Have you heard of roadblocks? No. So roadblocks is a game. We're all these predators. Oh, god. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know somebody. I know that game should be

in. Anyways, Slap kind of unveiled the whole roadblocks thing on what was going on. And so one of the things they did is they recreated this fucking game recreated all the active shooter school shooting events and put them in the game. Not only did they do that, they put the

“victims that were killed. Like, remember all the kids that were killed at Sandy Hook. They put the”

names of the kids over the kids. So you enter the classroom and murder the kids. They recreated the scene and they were using SIG weapons. So I got that to Jason to and I said, hey, I just want you guys to know I did this episode and they're utilizing your weapons in that fucking game. SIG got their legal involved one after roadblocks and I pulled the shit out of medium shit. So, regardless of whatever you hear about them. No, I mean, again, awesome awesome awesome awesome. I have the 20 of the GTO by the

way. We shot the GTO yet. Yeah. Yeah. Point 11. Oh, my god. I didn't run so great. And I love one of I say the GTO's a pleasure to shoot. I mean, it's fucking flat. It's nice. I got that. I got 320. I got like a few 365. I got the SIG cross. Nice. Yeah, I mean, and speaking of the SIG cross,

I can never figure out a fucking closest thing. Where is it? Where'd let me free this out?

Because the same thing was in the year of a shop that could be the cross? Yeah, we got one in there. Yeah, you like you pushed it. Oh, god damn it. You had to be fucking close to Sarah. Let me show you your shot. And every time I grab my SIG, you like a bunch of this down. Oh, I get this on. That's going to, I've just folded this down, but oh, there you go. So, again, you got to, if I can give you advice, you got to fix the mechanism,

because everybody that has a SIG cross when they go to fold it, they always fuck with it.

“No, I do this if you have a gun A, SIG. Thank you guys. I thought we'd be guys. If you want to shoot me”

some ammo for this thing, let me know. Friend, preferably subsonic. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, I got to ask you a question. I got to ask you because the gun guys will love this. What do you think about throwing a blackout? This is, this is like to debate, bro. This is the, this is the, the gun debate. What do you like throwing a blackout? I mean, dude, I don't, if I look, what's your nice than gun? What's my nice sand gun? Yeah. It's a pistol. It's a nine millimeter

pistol, the SIG macro. Okay. You know, you know, you know, okay, you don't do any rifle next to them. And then I got, I got another one, this is the SIG MCX spear, which I'll show. Would you like, do you have a rifle button? That's 300 be a rifle in your room. Dude. Yes. Okay. So you went in the, the armory here. So you do it. What you do through 100 blackout? I do 300 blackout. Here's why. You do subsonic or subsonic? I don't think it matters.

I have both, but I find that just regular, not subsonic runs better. I always get jammed

with the subsonic no matter what 300 blackout. You, is your gun. Do you have the suppressed, your rifle, yeah, it's pressed. What do you have? I do just, I have PMP SIG. I do my PSA's in my budget. I do caliber though. It is 2, 2, 3, AR 15. And then I do 300 blackout because of the penetration. And then I have my, my nightstand gun. Because I don't want, I told you about what happened to green tape, right? And so 2, 23 is going to fly through the human, fly through the wall,

“go through the next wall, and potentially go into my son or daughter's room, right?”

With the 300 blackout, once it hits the flush, it's not going to have enough penetration to keep going. And so this is a new nightstand gun. But I carry the PSA, AR 15, I do 11 inches. And then I also carry the, but GTO is my, my handgun nice. I mean, it's such an nice gun. Guys, if you ever want to get a 2011 dude, it's even for the cost, like it's such a good cost entry for that level of gun. I don't really fuck with the car though. I think they're kind of gay.

I'm just like every time you see this, the car or guy, I buy own the car, I was going to say, she's kind of fucking gay. And then like the guys, why do you think they're gay? And then the guys' issues, the caros, they're like, they're just like, they're just fucking

deal those. Like so in the motorcycle world, there's like decadies. Like there's always like,

I'm the decadie guy. And it's like, you have like guns are marginally different. So like, people that get sick of cars, they get so wrapped up in the name in the pistol and it's like, you're just gay. It's like, like, you think a fucking European dude, like you're just fucking gay. So I just like, I can't fuck with Sikato. I mean, they're a little, do you tell me Sikato is a little gay? I don't think it's gay. Yeah. But you know, also to people in your sand, like everybody

picks a side with guns. You'd guns are so marginally different. It's a tool. Like when you're talking

you, not a big fan of the hell cat. They're like, lock, we're this sick. There's just marginally

“fucking different. And people are so tribalized. We're like, oh, yeah, dude, I carry a sick,”

oh, you fucking loser. Oh, I carry a lock. Like, oh, you fucking loser. You're 6 in a jam. Like, if there is a, if there's a team, someone's going to pick it and they're going to fucking hate you for not being on the team. I'm not that way, dude. I like, I've, I've been in Sikato, yeah, so then Sikato, dude. I like, I like all guns I have sick. I've smith the west end. Like

“seemingly motorcycles. I had fucking Harley, I've Indian, I've Kelsaki, I've Yamaha, like,”

you know, I'm just, I'm not tribal. I've never really been like a, a tribalistic kind of guy.

You don't do what makes you happy. You know, you don't just don't point in my face. You know, they got going, there's another thing. Good job to lead gummy bears, made the USA. Not weed, gum is just candy. And then I got one other thing, Oreo, gummy bears, but I got

“try one of these. So, talk about, you know, talk about God and all the other stuff, right?”

What give this to you? You read? No, read. I'll read if it matters. Well,

what is today? The book called the Jesus Calling. You read one, one thing a day, super short, takes no time. I will read. I read it at the end of the day. In a lot of times, I feel like it's talking about what happened that day. Maybe it's something out of it. Maybe you don't. I'll say what?

Every night I'll read a page starting tonight. But yeah, I know, I mean, you know, speaking of like God, man, I cannot tell you the respect to have Christianity. It's like it's, uh, one of the greatest gifts that we've had on this planet is like the gift of Christianity. And like when it's used correctly, and it's used and the way it's intended, anything can happen. Yeah, I appreciate you, dude. I appreciate you, man. You've got a huge heart, I could tell. I'm kind of a pussy by, uh,

but it's been an honor, man. I mean that. No matter where you're watching the Sean Ryan Show from, if you get anything out of this at all, anything, please like, comment, and subscribe. And most importantly, share this everywhere you possibly can. And if you're feeling extra generous, head to Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and leave us a review.