Straight vs. Lesbian Dynamics

- This is the 70 with Lindsey Krisley.

“- I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards”

and all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back. - I don't love them. - A Southern girl and a boy mom who's trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots.

- I am a functioning non-functioning human being right now. - Join Lindsey each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea, and nothing but the tea. - That is the tea. - Here's Lindsey.

(upbeat music) - Good morning and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea Good Morning Becky, how are you? - Good morning. - Lindsey Krisley, are you looking at me like that?

- You look great. - Thank you so much. - Does my hair look blender? - Yeah, it looks good. - Yeah, I moved about to throw some 22s on it in two weeks.

- So my mind went to tires. - I'm assuming you're talking about extensions. - Yeah, okay. - Like, I'm actually pretty proud of myself for picking up on that.

“- 22 inches, the next time you've seen me,”

I will look like a mermaid. - That's a lot of inches. - It is. Are you want to want me girly? - I don't look whatever I can get my hands on.

(laughing) - Or literally at all. - No, I don't think so. You know, I don't really rely on caffeine to keep me going. I was just telling Madison last week

that a wonny came out with a new flavor called Lyme Slush and I'm not a fan of any of the slushes, but this one right here has a choke hold on me. It tastes like Keele and Puy and it's so good. - I'm not a big fan of lemon or lime flavored things,

but I'd give it a shot.

It's always try everything once, you know?

- Okay, so let me tell you some tea. - Okay. - Okay, so, went to Dallas, recorded with Keele, recorded with Miranda from Secret Lives of Mormon Lives.

That aired after I got back from Dallas. So, Madison's like trying to get the TikTok active and stuff like that. And so, she's like, do you have the password to this TikTok? TikTok password for that, nowhere to be found.

So, after Kristen left, there were accounts that had two factors, three factor, two factor authentication on it. Started to realize that the two factor authentication was set up to her phone number.

So, I have tried to obtain certain passwords, certain things I was not able to get a hold of. So, all of that to say, if you do not follow the Southern Tea on TikTok, go and follow it because I was not able to access that account.

- Start in fresh. - Mm-hmm. - That's frustrating. - Mm-hmm. - It's an social media and stuff like that is so annoying.

We dealt with a lot of issues of getting the right account. So, - Wait, did I tell you the one time that I think it was Alexander? It might have been Kayla went on Instagram and could see mine and Keele's location.

And they're like, you immediately need to turn that off.

“I did not realize that that's how that kind of stuff followed.”

I thought you had to like update it. - Yeah, you like, you guys need guardrails in life. And, like, people monitoring your every, like, movement. And every single computer needs to be approved by someone, I think.

- Okay, well, let me tell you this morning about a computer. So, I go to plug in my laptop 'cause I'm like, you know, I've got to go and Kee-Kee with Becky. Go to plug that shit in, nothing happens.

Like, I press every button on this keypad. - Okay. - Or is that what it's called a keypad? - Every button, okay. I'm like somebody broke my fucking charger.

And I know exactly who it is. It's Jackson because he breaks chargers and all the broken ones. He thinks he's slick. He puts him in my bedroom to make me think

I've got like a stack of chargers and every single one that ends up in there. It's because he's broke the court. - No, no, no, that's what I have to look forward to. - It wasn't a laptop problem.

I was literally Googling how quick can I get a geek squad? - And you're here? - I found a new charger. - Okay.

- You took knowledge, you're not friends apparently. - We are not friends.

I never want to be friends with technology.

I actually told somebody this weekend. I said if I could go back to the pink like razor flip phone or a sidekick, I mean you can, no one's stopping you. - Why we no one's stopping me? I'm stopping myself because I don't know that I could go back

to, you know, like where you had to click three times to get to the letter. - Yeah. - Yeah, I probably prevent you from saying some unhinged shit because you're like, I'm not gonna take the time

to type this out. It's not gonna be worth it. - Who says I do that? - I know you do that. - Here's like, I have seen the text.

- Yeah, I guess with receipts here. - Here's one in one person in particular that if anybody ever logged into my eye cloud and got the backup of said text messages, the amount I would be on crazy bitch problems.

- Yeah, fair, yeah, fair, how was Texas? Did you guys have a good time? - We did, but it was like a fly-in fly-out type of situation in which I had a little bit more time, but I don't like to lose my parenting time

so that means that I have 40 hours to do something. - Yeah, I mean fair. I mean you have to balance both. - But I wish you was there. - I had a little bit of phomo.

- Oh you did? - Yeah. - Aw, Becky.

- Wait, can we pause for a second?

- You did not, I don't know if you know this about me. - Yeah. - But the biggest compliment you could give me is telling you that I looked in and you didn't tell me that I looked in.

- I wish just about to tell you. I was gonna say, I feel like I'm a relatively tan person in life, but what I'm looking at right now is white frankly a different ethnicity. - This is two days in the sun girl.

How did that happen? I'm Greek, baby, I got that all of skin. Remember when I message you over the weekend on Instagram and I'm just like, are you on spring break?

- The white, wait. So I've been in Florida the past couple of days. I went down to visit my sister, just take a little vacation,

a little winter reset from being in New Jersey

which is loved, would need it. Lindsey message me and asked me if I was on spring break. And I took me a couple seconds to think of how to respond 'cause I was like, I don't, am I on spring break? Like, it's like, I don't know.

“I think people that use the term spring break”

have kids that are in school. 'Cause like, I think that you're absolutely correct, but I meant like adult spring break just with backs. No, no, I was not on an adult spring break. Let me tell you this, I have a 22 year old niece.

She is living her best life. She is doing everything that I did at her age. She is thriving. She is in Fort Lauderdale for spring break at the same time I'm there.

And so she's FaceTime and me constantly. Like, sure, it made me all the different like, she's out partying and, you know, it's her and her best friend. And she FaceTime is the one time and I'm like sitting by the pool.

And I was like, what's up? She's like, I'm just calling to remind you that you're old now and like, pans. And she's that like a club at 2 p.m. Like everyone's in bathing suits.

Everyone, like the music is so loud. I was like, damn, I am old. I don't only club that anybody will ever find me in. It's called Club Pilates. Oh, okay.

Yeah, because it's just not the vibes for me. I'm not a people person like that.

Never was a people person like that.

Actually, the one time that I went to the club I went with a fake ID and somehow I managed to get to like VIP and when I got there, please tell me. Please tell me how I was greeted with my parents hair stylist.

And I'm like, oh, fancy seeing you, girl. Please don't open your mouth. Man, I used to be a club or I used to be a... What? Oh, girl.

I used to be a club after parties. After clubs, I was crazy. Do you want me to tell you what 36 looks like

“and why it's not a club and why I don't belong in one?”

Yeah, please. Most exciting part of my weekend was me. You probably thought it was a pocket vibrator. Oh, I did. I'm sure you did.

It's very cutesy, right? I know it's here, trimmer. Literally not even, I thought it was maybe like a ball. You roll your face. You have nose hairs that come out like that?

No, but I just feel like, okay, every part of my body has no hair. Good to know. So I'm like, all of quite the methods it snapshots, but keep going.

All of the crevices like need to be pristine. So that includes my nose. I get on use fixation. It's a fixation. Okay, yeah, I bet you could let me back up.

Let me tell you how this like even transpired. So I went to go and get a facial last week and like when they do the dermal planning

“to get all like the, I think it's called like”

vellis hair off of your face. Yeah. It inspired me. I'm like, now I need a nose hair trimmer and who knows what other types of trimmer

so I'll come up with. Okay, and did it work? Did any nose hairs come out?

Okay.

I don't know how to clean it out yet.

So I don't know. Give us a little preview. Put it in your nose. This is why you need a man. Like this is 36.

Like what? Why is wrong? Okay, let me tell you this story that really hits me off and chapped my ass. Like over the last five days.

Okay, number one, just be so glad that you were a lesbian. Okay. You do not have to deal with a man. Okay.

And by not dealing with a man,

“that means that you would never have an ex husband, right?”

Yeah. Ex husbands are not advisable.

I am on my way to Pilate's B-Bop

and down the road. I've gone got Jackson breakfast, dropped him off at school. I'm on time. Will starts calling.

And I'm like, what could he possibly want? Like, he knows Jackson's already out of the car. So, you know, of course it's like, hey, how are you doing? It's because you want something.

Like, cut to the chase. He's like, well, I think I might have to go out of town on a work trip on Monday and Tuesday, but I'm gonna be gone till like Thursday or Friday. I'm like, okay, you think or you know.

And he's like, well, I think, but I'll let you know, like, when I know. So I just B-Bop through the rest of the week, go through my weekend, Sunday rolls around, talking to Jackson on the phone.

“And he's like, mom, you don't have to miss me.”

That much anymore because I'm gonna see you tomorrow. And I said, I'm gonna see you tomorrow. I said, sure dad, stay. He was like, no, he said he told you that you're getting me.

I'm like, okay, so I told Jackson, I'm like, hey, please go talk to your dad and tell him that he needs to give me a call because we actually did not have this conversation. And he needs to give me a call, 10 30.

But by that time on Sunday night rolls around, still hasn't called. This other team podcast is brought to you by progressive insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today.

Smart choice, progressive loves to help people make smart choices. And that is why they offer a tool called auto quote explorer that allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies.

So you save time on the research and can enjoy the savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this episode at progressive.com, progressive, casualty insurance company and affiliates,

not available in all states or situations, prices vary based on how you buy. All right, guys, we're going to take a quick break to talk about bone broth because that is something that I have incorporated into my weekly life.

I love brodo's bone broth so much. I have been using this when I'm meal prepping on Sundays. It is so good, but also to just heat it up and reach for something that feels so nourishing and comforting.

It is so good. This podcast is sponsored by Brodo. Welcome to the hottest trend in nutrition for the last 2000 years bone broth. Brodo's bone broths are made from scratch. No concentrates preservatives or shortcuts.

So you get the best broth that money can buy. I have used the chicken and the beef one, but I got a whole package of the different flavors and they are so, so good. Brodo makes bone broths that are delicious enough to drink.

So each cup delivers whole food protein about 10 grams per serving along with collagen building, amino acids, electrolytes and nutrients to support gut health, immunity, joints, skin, and general wellness, all under 50 calories

and with zero sugar or fat. Shop the best broth on the planet with Brodo.

Head to brodo.com/t for 20% off your first subscription order

and use the code t for an additional $10 off. Once again, that's Brodo.com/t for 20% off your first subscription order and an additional $10 off if you use my promo code t. I call him, and of course I'm just a demon.

I'm like, you have some audacity. (laughs) This is why we're no longer married. You were irresponsible. My kid would have gotten off the bus

“and I wouldn't have known why do you need to go to Murdoch?”

You took an outside sales job immediately when we got divorced. That's on you. He's like, whoa, Lassie. Like, whoa.

Do you know how much satisfaction that I got yesterday when I go on his Instagram and see that? He didn't get to get on his flight. (laughs) You did not, he did not get to get on his flight.

What am I looking at? Well, specifically you're looking at. It says that he has a flight to delay by 59 minutes.

by another 100 minutes.

“Why are you getting updates on your phone on his flight?”

Oh, I got another way to get it. I don't have to get it on my phone. (laughs) You know, the whole time you're telling this story, I'm like, huh, you know what?

It's not really the ex-husband and that scares me. It's the ex-wife. (laughs)

Okay, but here's the thing.

And I'm bringing all of this up to say, oh, the last one was a 34 minute delay and then I hear him call Jackson. And so of course, I'm e-strapping. My custody schedule says I can't, but...

(laughs) What is wrong with you? What do I do? I mean, it's on speaker, you know, I live here. Yeah.

He's like, oh, I'm actually on the way to my parents' house. Hot, hot, that's what you get. That's what you get for not telling me what you're supposed to be telling me. Also, I have a shared calendar.

“So like, why did you not put it on said to your calendar?”

What if I had a Gucci wax on Monday that didn't coordinate with the times that I would need to be getting a kid out of school? And it just like pisses me off and I don't even know if anybody else deals with this

because it has to be common. I mean, I'm sure it's absolutely common,

but I don't know if you're never mine.

I'm not even gonna get down that go down that path. Go down the path? I was like, I'm not even sure. Like, you guys argue like you're still married. Somebody else actually told me that yesterday.

They were like, what I just heard sounds like a lover's quarrel. Literally. And I'm like, for what business did you have? Like, this is the exact term.

For what business did you have taking an outside sales job, knowing it's going to inconvenience everybody? What, like, what triggered you into this? 'Cause it's not the scenario. I'm like, I'm gonna act like your therapist now.

Like, there's some underlying frustration that you're just taking out poor will. What triggered me into this was because this has happened multiple times. And it's the same scenario every time.

So if I don't lay down the law and trigger him, he's gonna keep triggering me. So I've got to trigger the trigger. How finalized are those divorce papers? Pretty final.

We're almost going on five years in July. All right, well, it seems like you and we'll have

“some co-parenting things that you need to work out.”

I would assume that it's pretty common. But you guys, do you guys have court-ordered co-parenting stuff? Yeah, we did it all legally, but I can't remember the last time we followed the court order.

Yeah. So I think everyone's probably scenarios a little different. I don't know many people that co-parent while my sister does kind of, well, the her kids are older now,

but like the only other person is kale. And that's all I have inside into and co-parent. Well, some people follow the co-parenting plan orders to a T, and I'm like, there's two sides of it. Life can't just operate off of a piece of paper

as normal humans like stuff comes up.

So we've kind of always just deviated from it.

If it gets bad, we'll go back exactly to like what it is. But then I see people who follow everything to a T, and then they don't have the same issues. Well, 'cause some people have to follow it to a T. They're, I mean, they're dealing with someone that,

like, you'll give them an inch, they go a mile. I'm like, it literally costs me $500 to drive my bronca through your front door. - Lizzie, are you okay? Are we okay?

- No, I'm so pissed. So what happened? He gets to his parents house and what? And then he boarded his flight today, but still he was in convenience, and I'm glad he was.

- Okay, well, you got a little bit of karma to him. (laughing) So we had to drive, he had to drive to his parents twice because I also now refuse to keep the dogs because I'm like, it's just too much.

Like, you could run, what you guys co-parent dogs too? Okay, so we had one in the marriage. Okay, and he was adamant that he was gonna keep her, and I'm like, well, technically, I don't really think that's fair,

but like, whatever, I'll just put it in the parenting plan. Okay, so we did that. Well, then we got Georgia and we'll kidnap her from me. So he has the dog most of the time, but when he travels, he's like, you're watching the dogs,

and I'm like, actually, I'm not your wife anymore. So I'm not, like, they're your dogs every other day until you need to go do something, and then you think I'm watching him. So I told him after this last time I was like,

the dog shit in the crate. I don't like cleaning up dog shit. I don't, I don't wanna be a part of any of this.

Like, I get it, fair. But, at the same time, if I go out of town, and I want all of her to be watched, I have to pay for somebody to watch him, so like, what makes their need a friend?

I like to call this tip for tat. You guys, I would give advice, you don't take my advice.

I've never been in this situation.

I never really know what's going on in your life, and so this is just a really great insight into your relationships. It's fascinating. And then there's another relationship situation

that I'm currently dealing with,

“that I'm like, do I just drive my car through my own front door?”

- And with that costume, I will probably get soon in the $500 for the talk to pull, and then also whatever claim on the homeowners. - Yeah. - Like, I literally can't.

But you know what I did on Sunday, I meal prep. - You did. - Yes, okay. - Can you give, at the last time we talked, you were hiring an assistant.

Can you give me an update?

- Yes, well, when I say I meal prep, mostly on our meal prep, okay. - I need heat, okay. I heat it around. - What does it mean?

- What does it mean? - Yeah. - He's like, I don't know, Matt is in what's the definition of Keke. She's at hang out to hang out.

“She said, wait, I missed all of these messages.”

She's like, we also have a new Facebook page. Oh, here we go, I'm actually crying. So Hunter started, how are things going? - Oh my God, so well. And you know what's like really nice about it?

The access to me is now, like, if I don't want somebody to have access to me, they don't. That's why you need a gay best friend. - So, is do I get to meet him eventually? - Oh yeah, and like you would love him.

We actually, over meal prep, we're talking about anal, okay. And I was asking, like, how that really works in the gay community, because I don't really prefer to do it. And I'm like, how does it not hurt? And he gave me all the tips and tricks.

It's like, that's the type of person in your life. - No, dude, taking all while cutting vegetables. Taking notes, what did you guys meal prep? - What we meal prep was chicken and rice and vegetables. And what's that kind of bold, egg roll in a bowl?

And then I did, I, he did a chickpea salad. I love a chickpea salad. - Oh my God, it's so good with teziki. And then like some chicken and if you use that, Japanese barbecue sauce or the grocery store?

- No, I have no clue what you're talking about. - Do you go to the grocery store? - No. - So is that a lay job? - No, we just order, I live in the middle of nowhere.

- We all have habitual Uber eaters. - No, we don't have places that deliver here. - So how do you get your groceries? - We get Walmart delivery. Walmart's like 35 minutes away.

And we do it like every so often. I'm, I mean, you just survive kind of person, you know? You know what, I am to however this last situation that happened to me on specifically Valentine's Day, almost wiped me off of the face of the earth.

And as if I already wasn't tiny enough, I just bedrauded for so long

that I basically drifted away.

So I'm like, you were taking the wind took you. - The wind took me baby. - Yeah. - So I'm like, you know what, I need to really get this stuff in order.

I need to meal prep on Sundays and by me, Hunter needs to come and help me do it because I don't really know how to do that kind of stuff. But I learned so much whenever he was doing it.

“I'm like, oh, that's how you put that together.”

He sounds like a great addition to your life. He absolutely is. And he's keeping everything in order around here. But let me tell you, I cannot find my internet router. And he cannot find my internet router.

Is there a way to like, ping it? (laughing) I found like the, - I'm just going on with you. - I found like the expanders or whatever they're called,

like, extenders. - Yeah, I found those. - Okay. - I cannot locate the router. We have looked all over my basement.

We looked all over the cabinets. We've looked everywhere, it is nowhere to be found. Like, typically you can find like the external point

Okay. And so maybe you could follow the lead there. Do you have an attic access? I'm not good at following directions. Yes.

Oh, I didn't check the attic. I doubt that the router would be in your attic, but you would be able to find maybe the, like the ethernet, ethernet cable? - Yeah, well, what is your to have?

How big is your house? - It's missing. Like, I don't know. I mean, let me take two steps back. Did you buy and or build this house after your divorce?

Like, are you the only adult that's lived here? - Yes. - Okay. - I should not be the adult living here, either.

- Yeah, like, this is a situation I've never heard

anyone have the, like, I couldn't find my septic one time,

“but like, your, like, you should have like a modem”

and things somewhere. - I love high of items so much. I actually just had a call with Will and I said, you need to get on the highest subscription. So he never runs out at your house.

If there is something that keeps me up at night, it is parenting. I know that our kids are the first generation growing up on ultra-process foods and the long-term effects we are only beginning to understand them.

And that is why Hyya exists. Some children's vitamins on the market today contain up to seven grams of sugar per serving and are stuffed with artificial auditives and petroleum-based dyes.

But Hyya took the opposite approach. So we're talking zero sugar, zero gummy auditives and just clean nutrition. The crazy thing is kids actually love them. They love the taste, the experience, all of it.

And Hyya is different because it is so thoughtfully designed. They looked at what modern kids are actually eating or not eating. And then they formulated around those specific nutritional gaps.

Here is also something that every parent needs to hear. If getting your kids deep vegetables feels like an impossible daily battle, Hyya's kids daily greens plus superfoods is a total game changer.

It's basically like chocolate milk stuffed with veggies.

It is a greens powder that is packed with 55 plus whole-food sourced ingredients. This makes one scoop with milk or a milk alternative and watch them actually enjoy something that they're secretly fueling their growing bodies.

We were able to work out a special deal with Hyya for their best selling children's vitamins. We received 50% off year first order to claim this deal.

“You must go to hiyahealth.com/southernt.”

This deal is not available on this deal is not available on their regular website. Go to HIY-A-H-E-A-L-T-H.com/southernt and get your kids the full body nourishment that they need to grow into healthy adults.

Becky, there are some people who are meant for full-blown home ownership. Yeah. I had this conversation with Keel one time. I'm like, I need a fancy apartment.

But we're like, there's a door man and things are taking care of for you. I think in like sex in the city, you know?

It never watched it, but yeah.

It can pick a piece of the life that I need to live. Oh yeah, I also told somebody and buy somebody. I'm not going to tell you the somebody. But I told somebody that I was relocating and like I completely made it up.

What is wrong with you? Wait, I always think about this. I live in a pretty complex house and there's a bunch of things that you're supposed to do. It's not that complex, but like turn--

When you live in a place that has multiple seasons,

“there's things you need to do to like season for your house.”

There should be like-- And there probably is. I just haven't looked it up. But I feel like there should be a service where it's someone that comes and tells you everything you need

to do, yearly, everything you need to do. Like every five years, right? Like empty or septic. And like change the filter in your air conditioner. Like get your furnace reviewed or whatever it's called.

I feel like we need like a little bit more guidance on like you should do that. Kale and I were talking about how we were going to do a business where we were going to put together like parenting plants or people.

I mean, we'll probably get sued. What the-- What? What? Don't even talk.

We're not saying you and Kale are going to put together a parenting plan for people. Yeah, it's a cool union idea. You two are going to teach people how to parent. Yeah.

OK. Just wanted to make sure that I heard that properly. Go on. So we're like, OK, well, we can do this like PDF version. Like it can be like a whole service for like anything

we've been through anything we've paid for illegally.

People can-- you know, it's kind of like think

in the world of matchmakers, OK? Yeah. But what we're doing is helping people create havoc. Somebody else is like--

“It's like how do you like it's like a co-parent plan?”

Like-- [LAUGHTER] Can you imagine? But then I feel like you could be a part of-- I want no part.

You could be a part of this business. We can have another arm of it where it's like home ownership. Yeah, I don't want a part of that. I don't know. I'm telling you, I don't know how to do it.

I guess I could learn, but--

No, like the home ownership part of like all the problems

that you've had and you're going to create a PDF of like what people need to do. Like certain times the year, it's going to be a full-blown service. And it's like callbacky-hater. Thank you for thinking of me.

I know. Wait. But to your point, there should be like some type of manual for home ownership based off of your geographical location. And I feel like because everywhere is different.

I'm not going to be doing the same thing. If I know how probably is, I just haven't looked it up.

“And I could honestly use AI to tell me now.”

OK, well, please tell me why I go by. What's the things that sit outside, like raised up? Like next to your house, and it has the fans on them. They're like, you're AC unit. I don't feel like there would be two.

Would they? I mean, they look exactly the same side by side. Yes, you're AC unit. OK, well, it needs to be pressure washed. It needs to be cleaned, yes.

Yes. Is that HVAC? Yes. But how do you get the dust off the outside of it? There's dust on it, on the outside of it, outside?

Yes. It does on the outside of it outside, but it just looks like grungy. It definitely needs to get cleaned. But do you call a professional, like an HVAC person, or can you just spray the pressure and wash her down in there?

I don't think you should do that. I think I just did you already do it? No.

“I didn't already do it, but could I tell you what I did one time?”

Oh, and then I'll tell you about something else.

So this one time, I had never pressure washed in my entire life.

But I was, like, clearly, it couldn't be that fucking hard. In the process of me pressure washing this one time, I was wearing flip flops. I almost severed a toe off. And then I started spraying the wall because it had what do you call those things that spiders do?

Spider webs. It had spider webs on the wall. So I'm like, I'll just shoot that pressure washer up there and get it. Why did it make all of my paint bubble on the wall and come off? Where did you put where was this in my garage on the walls?

It's not this house, so it will be some walls aren't waterproof. You're not supposed to spray drywall like that. Oh, why not? How does it get clean? You need to use a rag.

Oh, that's too much. You can't like pressure wash drywall. Well, I did and all the paint. I don't know, like, how it scientifically happened. Yeah, you, are you okay?

This is so so hectic, like, Lindsey needs a full time man in her life because this is honestly, I need your assistant to listen back to this episode and like take notes of things that he needs to take charge of. I'm not sure, um, another thing that I'm currently dealing with is do you ever like put too much in your washing machine and it gives you that ear code?

I'm going to be honest, I do not do laundry. What? I don't do laundry. Who does it? Leah.

She does all y'all's laundry? Yeah. See, that's kind of why I'm a stave it because we had a good laundry system that was going where I did the easy part of it and he did the part part. Okay.

So I've sorted and washed and put it in the dryer and then he folded. He's like a master folder. I will show you pictures of like stuff that he has folded. It's like still at my house. I don't need pictures.

Thank you, though. But like, no, everybody needs pictures of this because it's like not normal. And I miss that laundry system a lot, but I couldn't imagine like being in a marriage and my husband or wife doing like the whole part. Like that's so lucky.

I help fold and I help put away. Oh, the putting away, what's the worst part of laundry?

It's definitely folding or putting away, but it's definitely putting away.

I'm putting away is because it triggers a snowball effect of, I have too much shit where am I supposed to put this and then it's just like, I'm just, I have a cycle of wearing the same things now and it's just, I have so many clothes that I don't wear. I'm selling my house and I'm starting fresh leaving everything here. You just told me that I was crazy when I said I'm relocating, but I'm really not.

And you just said the exact same thing in a different way. Okay, well, maybe we are cut from the same cloth in certain ways, Lindsay. So do not come for me because I did not send for you. I can't, I can't get over that. You power washed your walls.

I don't, well, evidently I wasn't thinking. I mean, power, am I wrong? It's not recommended. I don't think, because I what it says, do not recommend. And there's, it can force border into walls that which means there's a mold risk.

Well, well, it's not that much water. It's just like a, tshshshshsh.

“Did you power, did you power wash this past weekend?”

Yeah. And my garage. Oh, that's the scenario.

I thought you just said it's a different house.

No, in a different house, I did that to the walls. But I'm saying I worked on my garage more this weekend. I had already started it, but then it was just like some small areas that I was not just like wasn't as pristine as what I was working for. Okay.

Why did that? I did not get to my back porch, and I did not get to my side porch because it was raining most of the weekend, and I'm just not trying to do that in the rain. You get wet anyway when you power wash, what does it matter? No, you don't.

Becky. Yeah, you do. Do I need to take a power washing video and like what it looks like? Could you imagine? Literally.

Yeah. But just, maybe it's just come down to Georgia and we'll do like, uh,

house, house cleaning weekend and I'll find your way up here with a fresh blowout

and a little fab, let it south fit. And I'm like, I'm really doing the most. I'll be in my like flannel shirt with a hammer on my hip. Wait, but answer your question. This is not my house from when we divorced.

I had what I dubbed the divorce house. And then once I got comfortable with being divorced, then I moved here. Did you buy the divorce house? Did you rent the divorce house? No, I bought the divorce house.

Logical. Makes sense. Makes sense. Why is that not logical? Let me ask you a question.

Yeah. Um, I have in my notes to ask to talk about this because I forgot that this happened and then God, I wrote it down.

“Do you often pick up your phone when people call you in the shower?”

Yes. Like, there's no, oh, I'm shattering. I'll call them back. It's like, hey, yeah, answerants and say hello. Yeah, because I'm just like, what if they need me straight away?

Like, what if you all are recording Carmen chaos and you all need to ask me a question? What was I calling you for? I don't know, but I know that you were at Eliot's play. I think we were just talking shit. Yeah, I think I just missed you.

And I was like, I'm going to give her a call. Um, um, you called me. Did I call you? Yeah, you called me. You called me.

No, you called me and you were in the freakin' shower. And I was like, are you in the shower right now? And I was like, yeah, I'm like, you just call people from the shower? Let me get them new, it's girl. Um, no, but for real, I will talk to my grandmother in the shower.

I talked to my mom in the shower. I've talked to you in the shower, talked to Kail in the shower. Have had business meetings in the shower, fascinating. Like, comment down below if you call people from the shower. My best work is done in the shower.

Okay.

“Honestly, like, I have talked about contracts in the shower.”

How long do you shower for? Are we talking hot girl shower? Are we talking like a little rintsy rinse? I don't know. How long do you shower for?

Well, there's hours and hours back, huh? There's different kinds of showers. Like, what kinds? Fill me in. There is so much noise around weight loss right now.

We're talking trends, opinions, medications, and it's hard to know what is actually right for you. Reaching your weight loss goals doesn't have to mean completely changing the way you live your life. What if you could make healthy progress with a treatment plan that includes medication,

access to 24/7 support, nutrition tips, and tools for tracking movement, hydration, and sleep, all personalized to go at your pace? And that is weight loss by hers. Through hers, you are connected with a medical provider who determines if treatment is right for you.

If prescribed, your treatment plan is personalized to support you and reaching your goals.

adjustments as needed, lifestyle, and nutrition tips, and access to 24/7 support.

They even offer the convenience of 100% online care with licensed providers on the other side, who learn your story and create a personalized plan to deliver healthy progress that you can maintain, so no more yo-yoing, just study results. Turn to hers for comprehensive personalized health care that you can count on. From weight loss support to growing thicker hair, easing anxiety to navigating menopause

symptoms, even accessing convenient lab testing hers is going to have you covered. Feel like your best self again, visit for hers.com/southernt to get a personalized affordable plan that gets you that's f-o-r-h-e-r-s.com/southernt for hers.com/southernt. Weight loss by hers is not available everywhere, prescription required, see website for

“full details, important safety information and restrictions.”

Owning a home is so amazing until it's not one minute you are sipping coffee and the

next, you could be ankle deep and water from a burst pipe, repairs do not care about timing, and they definitely do not care about your budget. Regular homeowners insurance usually does not cover a lot of the day-to-day wear and tear, so anything like plumbing failures, HVAC breakdowns, electrical issues, you're often on your own for those, and that's where home serve comes in.

It is like a subscription for your home for as little as 499 a month and they've got your back. As I said, repairs hit fast and hard, and you could be searching for a contractor in a panic I have been there, or you could already be on the phone with home serves 24/7 hotline scheduling a repair.

It's so super simple, just choose a plan for your needs and budget and when something on your plan goes wrong. Just call their 24/7 hotline to start the repairs process. They have helped homeowners like you for over 20 years with a trusted national network of

2600 local contractors, with 4.5 million customers, a 4.8 out of 5 post repair rating, and

an A+BBB rating, they are the real deal to help protect your home systems and your wallet with home serve against covered repairs, plans start at just 499 a month, go to home serve.com to find the plan that is right for you, that's home serve.com, not available everywhere most plans range between 499 to 1199 a month, your first year terms apply on covered repairs.

Okay, so one version of shower is I wake up and I'm going to do school drop-off and then I'm going to plaudy so I get in and I wash my body off, like my pits and bits and my face through all my workout clothes, leave the house. When I got home from plaudy today, I had my hair done yesterday so I didn't need to wash that.

So it was kind of like a quickie too, but I still shave my legs, that was probably like an added five minutes. If I'm doing everything like all thing shower, washing hair, doing leave and conditioner, all that, that's probably about 35 minutes, okay, all right, I take like five minutes hours every time I shower, is that washing your hair or two, yeah, that's not possible,

“can you put it on a timer and send me the screenshot?”

I know you're lying, I'm not lying, like who this is not even appropriate for me to ask this question, but like how do you shave like everywhere, when I don't shave every time, when I shave, it takes me longer, like when I have my shower that I'm like committed to shaving in? Madison said you use a two and one, so funny enough, I don't use a two and one, but sometimes

I do put my shampoo and conditioner in the same time. Okay, but why, if it comes into bottles that needs its two processes, sometimes I just don't feel like two processes, just do all that one. Becky, I need to take a photo of my shower and like my products and all the stuff that I use in there, and you're gonna be like absolutely not, I can settle with just using old

spice as a three and one, old spice is like such a throwback, oh, it smells so good, let me tell you, so do you remember like when you were growing up and you started wearing perfume or clone, yeah, thanks for that inclusivity there, actually, did you wear perfume or clone?

“I think early on when I wear perfume I wear clone, don't know, what perfume were you wearing?”

Cool water, cool water, blue bottle, what brand is that? It is David Off, cool water, well, I triggered so many memories, okay, so I was a juicy guitar, original flavor, scent, wear, or dull chain, gobana, light blue, okay, both good,

like you're trying to kill us all on this car by him out that you're using, so I would

just then pack my bottle of stuff so I could spritz myself however many times I wanted to when I got into the car, you know how people say like karma is tenfold, like it's going to come back and get you, the things that you did growing up, yeah, my son gets in the car and it smells like a nightclub, does he wear at least just one kind or is it spray or is it like, because we are going from dove spray deodorant, which smells like

its own clone, yeah. And then what is that clone called awkward geo or geo, awkward geo,

“this, yes, that's what he wears, what I wear, you just pull that out so fast, well, fun”

talk to accidentally ordered, accidentally ordered after shave instead of cool, so it's sitting here because I need to return it, that's hilarious, so it's that and then every product that is in his bathroom like if he uses any type of like texture or something that has its own scent, so we're talking like a collection of scents by the time that we get to the car, and you know me being the mommy that I am, I'm like, I can't say

anything to you, but I have gotten call for my ex-husband like when he started driving school and he's like, you need to tell him that he cannot be putting on all this stuff, he smells like a nightclub, I mean, you should tell him, you should teach him how to properly use clone. I've got that, I asked him to show me the process of what he does, because I feel like that's a nice like gentle parenting way of like, you smell like shit, but how

were you doing this? Six words, I'm like, no, like somebody with your tiny little body, you need no more than two and that might be pushing it. Yeah, yeah, now he has a little method that he does, he walks through one, and then sometimes the net gets it, and sometimes the hands get it, we just, we don't know what day we're going to do. At least he cares about his hygiene. Listen, okay, were you ever a kid that hated to brush your teeth? I don't

“remember, I don't think so. I was a kid that didn't like to shower, but now you are stinky”

Becky. No, no, I like, I like naturally like don't smell, like my hair doesn't get greasy, like I don't like, you're not a smelly one. Yeah, so even, like, and then like in summer, I would like just jump in the pool instead of showering. How much is too much requirement for showers for a teenage boy? I don't know, because like teenage boy smell, and it's weird because it's not like a be-o smell, it's like a youth smell like a wet dog or like

an eye for an extended period of time smell. Yeah, so like, is there a way that you like train your kids to like not like, like be if like not not want to shower or not not want to brush

your teeth? Um, we have the teeth brushing issue in this house, but I have never been that

“person. I like to brush my teeth as many times as I possibly can. Like, I eat a meal. If”

I'm at home, brushing my teeth. Like, I have those little fake toothbrushes in the car. You don't talk about like the, yeah, yeah, console, use in them. I, I'm like a morning brusher. I like can't start my day without brushing my teeth. Same, that's the first thing I do every day. Yeah, Leah's not. Leah can like drink coffee and like start her morning without working on. Yeah. Like, there needs to be nothing else in this mouse after what probably germs just

collected over the night time. Yeah, I don't know if you're listening and you've figured it out away to, uh, I need to learn it for one, my kid gets older. It's, it's habit forming, but it's hard also whenever you're co-parenting because I'm more of like a, I'm gonna ask nine times if you did it until you do it and will's like, I'm asking one time and if you don't do it, I don't care. Yeah, I'm like, I don't know. Where does the pushback come from? Like, is brushing their, like,

why, I don't know. But the showers, like, he has always showered since preschool in the morning

You are. Yeah. Like, I'll go to bed dirty. Yeah. Oh, he would send me to another orbit because if anybody thinks they're getting in my bed dusty and crusty, I knew that about you. Like, I'll wake up like, like, yeah, I'll go to bed in the clothes I like wore all day. Wait, do you remember that one time that we were in LA and you got on the bed with your shoes? Yeah, I did. I was like, wait, what? Yeah. Like, you probably just walked over dog shit and all kinds of stuff. Like,

yeah, I'm just like, I'm not that kind of person. I, like, I can sleep anywhere. I'm not, you know, okay, I have a lesbian question for you. Okay, let me put my lesbian hat on

to the, ever leave. What's a normal first date for a lesbian? Um, like, place, wise, um, well,

“lesbians, let's just start out by saying like, how long is the date and like, what's the date?”

Let's start out by saying they probably know a lot about each other going into that first date because right after that first little swipe or meeting their texting 24/7 until the first date in 24 hours and in that 24 hours, they know just about everything there is to know about each other. The first dates are not. Oh, yeah. Um, the first dates are long. Uh, it could start out with dinner and then sitting in a car for four hours or five hours afterwards. Um, like, whatever the first

date is, it's going to be like a half day full day thing. For sure. Okay, that is wild to me. I don't feel like straight people text like that. Like that early on because it's kind of like cat mouth. You know, it's like, I don't want you to think I'm more interested in you than you are me. Nope. I'm getting it. You're getting all the details. I mean, I feel like even now when I meet

people not even like who I'm dating, I'm asking a million personal questions because I'm like

trying to get to know someone. But is that more of a lesbian thing or is that more of a Becky thing? I think it's more of a female thing like female and feet like, oh, female to female. Yeah. Okay, Madison chime in in the chat. Do you agree as another fellow lesbian? Yes.

“She's like, we're in a many words. Yeah. Lesbian first dates are long. That's why that that's why”

the joke is like you bring a you haul to the second date. Wait, what? You that's the joke. Yeah. Like, what do lesbians bring to a second date a you haul? Yeah. What is your start dating? It's like they're they're like they're talking 24/7. They're together as much as you can be or a long distance is a big lesbian thing too. And but you're talking like 24/7. Okay. So just to give you like a difference

Wait, Madison says you haul lesbian is a common LGBTQ stereotype and cultural trope referring to the tendency of some lesbians move in together or commit very quickly. Sometimes after the first date,

famously joked about is running a you haul truck immediately. That isn't saying I've never heard of that.

“Hmm. Well, now you know you learn new things every day. Okay, y'all. We have had some conversations”

about meal prepping and I have been doing that for the last couple of weeks for my lunches. But for my dinners, it is so busy this time of year and I am trying to stay consistent with eating well, but between work and workouts and doing stuff for Jackson cooking just is not happening through the week. tempo gives me fresh balance meals ready in two minutes so that I can eat the way I want without losing time. So during the week, if your schedule is nonstop, you're talking meetings,

errands, late nights, and healthy eating is usually the first thing to slip because I know that is so true in my house. tempo will help keep you grounded with real meals that you can heat in two minutes so that you did not default to snacks or take out. tempo delivers fresh, chef crafted, dietitian approved meals right to your door. And each meal is perfectly portioned for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. That means real food real fast without the sad desk lunch or drive

through regret with 20 new recipes every week made from nutrient rich ingredients. tempo keeps things exciting and helps you stay consistent with healthy habits. One of my favorite things to do to prepare

tempo to see what I'm going to be eating the following week and no matter what your goals are,

“there is a tempo meal for you. So they have protein pack meals with up to 30 grams of protein,”

they have calorie conscious, even GLP one balanced meals. It is convenient but also flexible enough to fit the way that you want to eat. And for a limited time, tempo is offering my listeners

60% off your first box. Go to tempomules.com/seaternete that's tempomules.com/seaternete for

60% off your first box. Tempomules.com/seaternete. Rules and restrictions may apply. When I'm at David, we met on a boat and he wanted to take me on a date and I'm like no, like we're not going, why would we go on a date? And then we got off the boat and then he's in a calendar invite to go on set date and I was like okay I mean fine. So we go on set date and then I'm like okay I've got to wrap this up like no kissing on the first date, no really like

touching, no none of that. There's none of that in a Disney world. Really classy, you know like this is going to be classic because if this ends up being my future husband, I don't want him to be

able to tell his life long friends that he fucked on the first date. So we didn't and then it was like

very casual for like a period of time. Casual is not a word used in the lesbian world. But when you're doing whatever, when you make a girl girl, because girls are just like you know they're emotionally like they're already connected through conversation, right? Like you already are infactuated with this person emotionally because of like the conversations that you're having. I don't know. I would I would I would pay money to see you interact like you interact with

a lesbian in like a potential date way. I'm like see what happens.

“I mean I think I would be like you would get so fucking annoyed. You'd be like why are they like what”

are they why are they tech why why did they send me flowers? And like why did they text me so many time why did they say good night what does that mean? Why are they trying why are they trying to bring a you haul to the second date? Like now there needs to be a TPO because you have freaked me out. Yeah I know actually um before we do voice fails I was talking to Hunter yesterday or on Sunday and we were I mean just chatting about all the things that everywhere from like anal to

dates and whatever and I'm like how do people who are in the gay community like some people will have like had girlfriends boyfriends done everything sexually with like that girl or guy and then

“they just like for a lifetime switch the team somewhere else like how does that happen?”

I think it's easy to get caught up in like what we think like society expects from us. Yeah like you still as a human are capable of loving another person. Like in a non-intimate way like I still love like men in like friendships and in that way. So like I could have easily if I had

never like I did it guys until I was 19. So like I still loved like men that I dated it was just like

you know something it's easy to get kind of in that that trap of things especially because I don't know I feel like there's a lot of lack of like emotional intelligence inside of like those kinds of relationships being in with like from a man standpoint and not not not in like a man-chaming way and like that's just how society has like groomed men is to kind of be like that. So like you don't know what you're missing I guess I mean that makes sense and I guess it would

make sense to me that if you've never tried it before you don't know how yeah and like you could try it and like it's not the right person like it's just like it's all about people I don't know like it's not like every girl I meet I'm in love with or like have any sexual like attraction to them too like I meet like hot girls all the time but I have no interest in it's just like that human connection aspect that's just I don't know it's it's so interesting to me Madison said that

she wants to do this lesbian date thing she says can we do this she'll like what would I provide

out on a date with me and just like the chaos that little fool would be like you're pissing me all take we should go to a lesbian I should take you and kale both to a lesbian bar wait I wonder if kale's been to a lesbian bar before yeah she has with you now the rumors are

going to fly we've been to pride together the first year I brought her to pride we went to a

“bunch of bars and there's a bunch of lesbian bars you should come to pride with us this showed me”

so fun and also chaotic but we're going to get to this other antique hotline and listener advice you guys don't forget if you want to submit a question ask for advice or just fill some tea you can call our southern tea hotline at nine two nine three three three six three eight six leave us your message and we might play it on the show first voicemail hey my name is AJ and that happened listening to you for several years and you watched Christmas best back in the day I was actually at your

valley show and didn't get a chance to show my story so I wanted to keep in the light and that

I tear funny story that happened to me while I was in college me and this guy met in college and we

“went to a very strict private christian university where we had curfews every night I lived in an”

all-girl dorm and we couldn't have guys in our room like ever so of course I had to get my rocks off somehow so every other night we would meet to a park behind the school where we'd get it on in the back if it's 2006 Volvo one night we had to just wrap up perhaps up our session and we were hanging out in the back seat but ethnicid no clothes just by all of a sudden we see bright light so bright and we were blinded and literally could not see a lab boyfriend put on your clothing and step out of the vehicle

I immediately knew it was a cop and I began flipping shit he turned down his bright so we could see and we quickly put our clothes back on when we got out he asked for our IVs but at the time I only

“had my school IVs with me he realized we were students at the christian university across the street”

and began the lecturers about finding better places to get it on to say I would release was an understatement I would say the school we attended but now I actually worked for the same university that only our knee and hot hookup guy very now but we also have a 10 month old baby girl thanks for listening I love you and keep your head up you're such an inspiration to young mom not the 2006 Volvo I'm missed those days of hooking up in a car hooking up in a car is crazy

that's so fun though like I'm like okay number one fucking in a car just seems like so inconvenient saying it's just like getting heated windows fog you know there why are the windows fogging you wish you knew windy you wish you knew I'm just like can't we just do it in a surface at the house like kitchen counter oh the fun of it is like oh there's so much like tension you can't wait to get anywhere you've been living life wrong you know how many times I've hooked up with a girl on the

first date in a car talk about it first dates with girls they'd last long because you end up hooking up in a fucking car okay after move on next voicemail I walked listening to you on all your platforms I just think that you're an amazing mother and an amazing person and the girls is amazing and I just love you guys absolutely admired your single parenting

flesh all parenting relationships with will I have never had to be a single parent until 2023

and I have been together for 18 years and married for about 10 years and in 2023 he turned herself in for a felony crime and I had to take on the role of being a single parent had three children 16 10 and five I ten year old um as some special needs but he's okay and I just want to say I never knew how fucking hard it was to be a single parent and my hat just I took my hat off to you guys and I feel like I am now in that category um he was

sentenced to five years he is set to get out in 2027 what that looks like for me and him um I have no idea

but absence makes a hard growth wander and he is also allowed me to see that I can do this so I just

“wanted to say you know it's all kinds of ways of being a single parent and ways of getting here”

and it just makes you realize that you're not alone and so I thank you so much I have been wanting to do this for the longest I'm from South Carolina I'm a nurse um and I listen into your shift every week girl let me you die man what beautiful insight right like I love humans I love people and like I'm seriously unfortunate circumstance but like it's such a lesson to learn for I really loved how she said that like single parent had like there's multiple ways to get to get there yeah

like yeah it is so very true but then also when I was listening to that I'm like oh my god she's got like real life problems going on and I'm just bitching about my ex husband going and

“we'll be too pissing me off we're allowed to complain about our lives and still while people are”

experiencing things tougher I don't think it's a tip for tap there but man imagine like yeah somebody for eight ten years married ten they're out committing a felony for sure I know there's no griff time and your full world implodes right but like watch I'm it it's beautiful like in her words of like it shows it has shown her how strong like she is and like how capable she is

which could unlock like a million things for yourself yourself as well man these are fun the

voice smells are fun if you look at a situation like that it really is like an opportunity for personal growth like through sadness right yeah yeah oh no the voice smells they're so fun the one that we played last week I was like jaw on the floor man like like talking about like talking about I think it was like a strap on or something I'm like yeah I'm not prepared you know yeah I know well it's been lovely talking to you and having this conversation I'm going my friend just opened

a med spa and so if anyone listening is in the eastrausburg pokenos area thrive aesthetics just open today beautiful like her husband is a general contractor and like they bought a old built like

“a older building and really did the whole thing it is immaculate she's like that's why I get my”

Botox from but they have all the services so if you're in the area make sure to go check out thrive aesthetics because it is like top of the line what are you doing um I got a little bit of Botox here I actually I have to get my crow's feet done I didn't get on last time um the reason I started was because of my 11 so like my 11's used to be so bad that like they would be like this and I would get like tan lines and it would make me feel so self-conscious and it's so hard

to help different people age because some people get the 11's and then some people get it like a lot right here yeah and I haven't ever had the well I don't even move so put you know what I mean like

I never had those but it's just so weird how different people age and how you can do one

service and it can like fix all the things yeah but you were talking about micro unneedling Christina I've done that with her and not micro-needling the shaving the face oh derma cleaning derma planning yeah but they have like all those like services and facials and stuff too I'm gonna go high school if I told people one service to go and get and if like we're talking budget I feel like the derma planning is the best like exfoliator and make sure skin looks so good because all of your

products and stuff like penetrates so much better hmm so it's also probably saving you money also on your products because you're using less so yeah that would be my advice but thank you so much for joining me love you so much you love you real heat kiki and around with you one text before I talk to you on here again um if you guys have not subscribed to the show you can

do that from any podcast out wherever you get your pods always first at podcast one we hope you

guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon love you bye

I'm Becky the Spender and I'm Alex the coach we give money and vice for the everyday person so join us with your budget and your baggage because money doesn't have to be messy forever search for the haters and subscribe today