#652 - Matt McCusker

They're just be just be in bees

“And we're running a spring sale. That's what we're doing and honor of spring. We're being”

on sale We've got a mix of teas, hoodies and hats All 20% off right now and there's a limited quantity left on the year of the rat hoodies Is one right here. I wear it. I love it. My favorite type of hoodies That's only time only type were selling anymore. It's my favorite type

All that and more available at TheoVon store.com I hope everyone is having a good day and thank you for your support Today's guest is a stand-up comedian He's one half of the Matt and Shane's secret podcast He's the shaman. He is. He's on a higher frequency. He operates in a

Special realm and he's on the road soon. So if you get a chance, I recommend that you go see him I'd it's just if you even get to spend time with this guy. It's a smart choice I'm thankful to be able to do that today. My guest is Mr. Matt McCusker There we go Yeah, it was crap out of my pockets. Oh, dude. That's one thing

Well, how much shit do guys stuff? And I'm a guy. Yeah, and it's like the shit we start to have in our pockets Look at that. You've glass around the neck. I The phone phone wall keys. I need to upper. I need a downer You need a little. Yeah, you got DC powders. You fall again. We need pocket books, dude Some guys are very adopted pocket book technology. We need we need all just a man guys the purse whatever

Oh, that they have yep. Yep. Yeah, that fanny pack that do we're around their heart or whatever? Yeah

There's satial. That's a weird one though like the fanny pack on the heart that guy's always what's going on here

“I think you I think you have to like if you're gonna have one you have to have a gun in there”

Just so you can maintain you know what I mean, but one of those little guns or whatever Yeah, I think a tiny like James Bond look at a little 38 little snub Nice a good to see you roll pleasure to see you, man. Yeah, congrats on everything, bro Thank you, man. Yeah, you guys is podcast this question it and you're on tour right now, too. Yeah. Yeah, yep Yeah, I got it. Where am I going? I'm going to whoo, I know I know a Phoenix Phoenix is haunting you

I don't know why what's up in the city of Phoenix. I got to do this celebrity theater So it's like the little one in the round. Yeah, I hope that's full otherwise we're gonna have like a semi circle So it'll be that'll be pretty bad I couldn't do the riff. I can only do like 270 degrees Just a you so yeah, I get the Phoenix that you know the support that one guys in Phoenix. Yeah, man

And they everywhere else, but yeah, man, I've been good man is chill. Yeah, pull it Matt stage just so we have them, please Yes, thank you. Um, oh, there we go. Same Paul there we go. Same Paul. Yeah, where are you at in this thing? I'm I'm towards you And I'm at the I'm at the bottom half or the bottom like quarter here. Okay, same Paul Indianapolis. Yep, I got Des Moins Yeah, yeah, same Paul Des Moins Phoenix Tucson Toronto and Chicago Oh, yeah, you got Des Moins. You got Des Moins obviously a black guy

Des Moins And they but you don't but there's not a lot of America you expect to see them when you get there

“Des Moins, I think you've been it jelly. Yeah, well, I got it peanut butter jelly. Yeah, Des Moins, please”

Oh, there was two song bro two songs huge great place to get some uh Core what's that blue core that Rock it's a lot of older room where the silver and the What coral is it good for like a like a magnetic bracelet you talking about? Yeah, unless as a people Lot of people a lot of copper and oh oh pull or whatever. Okay, what's the blue stone? Yeah, it's a lot of that shit out there

Lot of people missing arms. Oh, okay. I it's like the mystical end of Arizona. There's like the yes guys For the pants up to here marisonians and there's like yeah, I got you it's some in country

Do you think those would be your vibes over there? Yeah, I've never been to Tucson yet Phoenix. I'm telling you

I'd like Phoenix. It's just I don't know why it's always it's always there's always cities I have that tickets go great. There's other cities where they're like a slog Yeah, Phoenix tradition just like historically has been a slog. Hmm. It's okay I just accept it is what it is. That's just Phoenix. That's my Phoenix experience. Yeah Dang dude. Yeah, I think for some like that for me like a mini apple is Puerto Rico

Puerto Rico itself take it's in Puerto Rico. I noticed really. Yeah, I'm like PR

Yeah, yeah, that's kind of me

The bullet us Yeah, do great to see you bro. What's happening? What's the new right now when you're world man? Dude

“I the only thing I can even it's boring, but it's just gardening. I've been gardening nonstop”

I got ahead of this year last year I planned it when it was already too hot everything got scorched So yeah, I got some blackberries and raspberries and waiting on so really yeah, I've been a big I've been I've been big on that man trying to grow stuff. I got garlic coming so So blackberries and garlic and this is all in your own y'all shoot. That's my garden. Yeah It's been revamped the hell storm destroyed my blueberry bushes. Yeah, it's a my life like a little backyard

But you're making the most out of it now can you feed your family your man? No dude, it's so sad So that's a blueberry bush. It got destroyed in the hell storm that one's coming back to life as well And is there any reward from the like it that the government subsidizes kind of shit I should get him. I should get some sort of subsidy but there we had a blueberry bush and we had

It produced one literally one blueberry the first time I did it and me my whole family cut it in a forest

Me each had a fourth of it We would be dead if I actually had a farm we would all be dead I've gotten like five radishes one blueberry and the raspberries were flowing man and then just the hell storm Wipe just completely wiped me out. So and was there stuff you could have done an advanced to prepare for that? Cuz I mean and you the does it feel like the plants look to you for like the leadership

“Or you don't feel that it I I never had a garden yet. Yeah, so here's the thing you can be like that”

There's a lot of doting mother type gardeners I'm a stern father if you can't pull your own you die I need I need producers Any people are going to adapt to the elements like I'm not going to baby any of these plants like Stalin Yeah, completely it's completely totalitarian system my wife

So we'll bring that one in I'm like if I can't handle the sun is dead. Yeah, I'll get someone who can handle the sun

I'm out here baby in these plants where I got I have kids. I'm not worried about a plant Yeah, I got to see her cry about a beanstalk is dead pull it out. Yeah, bro in the compost next So I run a ruthless guard. It's completely ruthless. I don't rat that just died Yeah, I did he was that's the thing with gardening. It does kind of connect you to like a real life or death thing because it's like I don't you know, I don't want to kill I don't want to kill an animal, but then it starts eating like, you know

So it's just munching all your leafy greens and you're like not about to grow food for a rat that's bullshit So then like I had a guy come out and the guy gave It was like an exterminator and This stuffy gave it if he's like through this stuff's a real deal don't let your dogs get it because my dog had eaten rat poison once No problem survived and I was like, I hope you all right. He's like no, they're shit. It's like fiberglass in it

It's when the rat eats the poison the fiberglass cuts his lungs and he starts like drowning in his own blood Who created this and get me out? I think so That's the same stuff they were putting in the Palestinian's food that they were giving them Just fucking heartbreaking fun

I was a fair point, but the And why are they trying to kill them so hard like I do I will they they just like that's their job They're like because if they if they have step in you still have a rat you're going to call them all pissed off So like the poison Messes them up, but the like fiberglass or whatever really makes sure they die no matter what and also rats

Won't die around the colony. They'll like a dog. They'll run off and find solids Yeah, die and we got rid of this chair recently so we like you know It was like hogging up a space in our on a backyard and when you lift it it up There was a dead rat one of the dead rats back there had been laying there so long I picked it up due to it's face was gone

It like really like kind of fucked me up like it was yesterday I picked it up. I had like you know two sticks But the other and I was like this thing's been sent for all in the deepest face to just avoid where it's face was like things ate its face Yeah, she's just a hole for words face close and I was like damn I was fucked me up fuck you're living in it. I'm saw it. That's not over there You've gardening crazy

Where are you gardening at? Yeah, I ran. It's a little vanier dude. It just sounds insane Gardening is crazy though because you get like you have little spider allies I see my spider my or weavers in my garden I kind of they're like they're on my team

“Fight in the bugs the rats. I'm I'm trying to fight the rats, but we got him. I think on our under control”

How did you know that you were having issues with uh with the rats? I'd see him right in my face Just munching my I like open the door and I did just be munching my shit. Oh, yeah, we ball see I feel like what the fuck they are kind of cute though. They're called cotton rats So they're these big guys and they have these like So they have these really furry coats I kind of like them but then they started shitting in my grill and I was like we're done

Yeah, they honestly I would have tolerated them, but they they completely Overpush overstep their boundaries. There we go. That's there. Yes. That's exact guy Imagine one of those guys no face hole for a face zoom in on him Look at that little guy a little fat little hearing guy look at your bulls almost. Yes. That little flow of bear Yeah, he looks he's munching on somebody's fucking herbs right now when a god's little magnug gets them

They had a burrow underneath my little porch in the back of my garden and also people were like oh Does dumb cayenne peppers all this dude? I dumped like I got like four pounds of red pepper flakes Just the whole lace the whole garden do that guy was just late sitting in a bed of it

I'm like man get out of here this bullshit give me the fiberglass poison. There's always all those tricks dude

Like if you if you'll siphon some piss out of a senior citizen or something it out there Yeah rub a baby's ass on those I wish rails or whatever nobody will fall down Nobody will get hurt it doesn't work. It doesn't work. The exterminators come not even the home depot I don't want to you know mess up home depot That shit none of that stuff works you need a professional exterminator and they have like

“Dr evil weapons. That's the only thing to get some will did you get one of those guys who comes and he's”

Tattered and he's like has all his like AA years of recovery fucking Medallions around his neck and he's like you really that's what you want. Yeah, but this guy's pretty chill He's pretty clean, but he uh you can tell he's been around and he's been around the stuff for a while the other guy No, got bit by a rattlesnake

Literally got bitty drums off the hospital Fuck yeah That's boss shit bro. It's crazy. I got nothing but love for exterminators Do you ever have like a horrible infestation of any kind? Just these hoes true

Basically, that's how I was just making a beam for them. Now I know I've never had anything like that

You know I actually you know what bring up some of these exterminators first. I want to see some of these let's that good call Let's get a gander at some of these America's top 10 most extreme exterminators including women A lot of these bitches will kill anything they go around There we go. Look at that guy. I look at extreme. Yeah, look at that fucking guy right there

San blasted a bomb Yeah, they're giving this is I need to see the real guys. This is the fucking It's like the stock footage. Yes, all team of shit, man. Yeah. No. It's none of the exterminators look like these guys These are male models. Yeah. I mean, there's Billy the exterminator. There's that guy and he passed away Did he really yeah? It dude. Short shelf life on those guys

I mean, you're literally dealing in poison. You're not there to fucking spraying glyphosate on every gang You're fucking those those bug bombs. They what they do is they inhibit Reproductive systems so like what like I had flees and I had to do a bug bomb the home depot was bullshit So I got the real guy. He came out and When I did the first one I'd lit it all like you know you pull the thing and it's supposed to give you 10 seconds

It just exploded in my face So I just got drenched in the shit and he gave it to the fourth of July flames Cuz they'll put those things in together Through they they just they you can't reproduce so it just like squirtious bug genitals and then they just just

“Have to watch like the apocalypse. There's there's like colony of them. Is this palentier online?”

Where are you? I just can't believe you're involved in all this dude and you're children of what's sleeping Why came in from like talking to the exterminator and I'm like Probably this rap voice is crazy. I got it for my two daughters were there and I'm like yeah, there's a little mice And they like watch it play and I was like all the mouse is back. I'm like what it does is it cuts their lungs and they drown in their own blood My wife's like chill dude. I'm like I have my bad

I bad my bad Are you part of a group with the gardening or how I'm well wolf? I have thought about joining a group But I I'm like Different when you ever do something like that. It's it's just too much human interaction for me I just I like to like figure it out by myself

Maybe maybe one mentor would be good a whole group. There's bound to be someone I don't like yeah I'm gonna be battling. I'm like no, thank you. Some guy trying to get you to buy his soul or some other thing something like that Or just just just a just a run of the mill know it all. Yeah, you any any adult any group of just adults together There's gonna be at least one if not to like unbearable guys usually

Like you're just like adult education. There's always one person who's gonna raise your hand talk for 10 minutes every time

It's just like Showed up man. Oh, you go to like that DUI course. Yeah guys like you know like he's never gonna drink and drive again First of all what a god's rules is nobody gets just one DWI. I know I know it's Everyone everyone needs to get one my my friend it was funny as a couple years ago

“But he he had one I think he was the last one to get one but his brother had one and his dad had one and they're all at”

Like family Christmas party with extended family and he like they're all drinking beer Like cheers. I'm like hey three. We all have DUI guys guys and I think his dad was trying to keep his under It's like shut the fuck up You're the DUI's cheers and you know I thought it would go over better But dude there's nothing sadder than a dad

DUI was playing from work and he's been drinking or whatever they get a man I know a lot of guys who just quietly you get them and you're like all right all right you got me You got me they drive drive. Yeah. That's oh my step dad got one my dad would be drunk

So my mom would fucking be out there yelling at this 7 year old man unconscious and a white fucking LT do that he was not even at a certain point dude He wasn't strong enough to get the door back up and once he got in So sometimes he'd get in there and he'd get on from work and we didn't know we'd be inside of

He slumps leave him out there all Yeah, he's he dude. Well, dude. That's the thing they were allowed to drink and drive like drinking and driving was like Like my dad is almost 70 and like when they were in high school cops will pull you be hammer driving a car And they'd be like come on man get the hell. I'd take your beer and really get out of here. Yeah. You didn't get in trouble for it So all of a sudden now it's criminalized

Fucking woke bullshit. It's a good point. It's no it's pretty bad. It's very dangerous. There we go Who's this guy? He's a storm that's a exterminator and if he has a church behind and if he means it who is he? That's a eye Well, if I think you've just got a YouTube say you put in like two-son extreme exterminator

“If you go to some of those places and just look for some try to make it by city or whatever you have to do to see if you can come up with some”

Yeah, it's more organic. Yeah, it'd be nice if by the end. We had some They have exterminators are really they keep and we keep themselves hidden Well, I think first of all I wonder if that's a dying game I don't know thanks so much because it's like if you run in the family because a lot of times you'd be like You know my dad was a arm and I'm a fireman and then the third kid is like I'm not if I'm just fat or whatever

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, no, that's but there's always that lineage. You know like I love hot dogs my dad love

Todd. Yeah, my son loves hot dogs and then you have like breaks gays Yeah, like who really likes hot dogs Yeah, dude. I think it's this like it's just one of those gigs. I think it's just like a Get out of jail gig and you know you do it especially if you like do it for yourself That's what a lot of them. It's just like it's a business you can get into it's like cleaning

You can run it. You can start a cleaning company pretty easily. It's very low overhead A lot of strippers do it. Yeah, that's actually a great. Yeah, it's a great move It's their gate. It's like a re-entry program into I've hung out with a lot of strippers me even made out in their cars sometimes That's all and you'll have like a mop handle coming across your shoulder and shit

You know you know the wrong the ascension. Oh, yeah, you see that. You know, this is actually a good start This this lady's got her act together Hop in there's a 9 month old in a car seat. You're like bad sign this lady needs a mop Sleep it on a pack of us. We're for replacement I tried my hand at stripper dating wasn't a you know, I'm not nothing against them

I just wasn't caught out for it was it was a little too rough and tumble for me

“You have to be a boss. You have to also work late hours to be a stripper's boyfriend. You are working”

They work in late hours. You have to be up when they get home

Dude my sister had a friend that was a stripper. Yes, and um she would come over to our house and shed and her my sister always fighting and stuff

And uh, and then she stole our vacuum one time, right trying to break into the industry Volusso that was an impolusso, which isn't even an a volusso Like what the name is it? Volusso That's kind of as a crazy name. It's crazy dude and uh, so now she saw her vacuum two years later

I'm at like one of these real fancy parties where they have a woman pop out of the cake or whatever like you know The thing you kind of see like they actually had a girl pop out of the cake. They had two cakes and two girls pop out of them And like it was a big birthday for this guy and uh, and they were strippers right and one of them was the woman whoa It was Varissa who had stolen our vacuum dude and so guys are taping her and shit And I'm just fucking like wait, I'm just in the bag just like

Just making the vacuum sounds and shit I'm fucking locking on her. It's fucked up to take someone's vacuum too You see that could really throw a household under a quick and me and my sister on our last limb as neighbors dude And we lived under this family that was like very heavy bone Yeah, I was stomping. Yes, and they were beating each other like think there was domestic abuse Yikes and I would call the police all the time on them. I'm called the police

I'll always call the police all out since I was since I was a child, but yeah

“I would call the police all the time and I'd be like he has a gun. That's what I would say every time to go”

They get right there. They're right there. Yeah, if you're like hey, he's beating this woman He one of his kids. He fucking tied his kid to a tree out. No, whatever He just put a bunch of crow food on his kids the shoulders and tied him to a tree outside Never they don't get there. Yeah, they're not gonna shit gun is that's the code. That's the fast path because they want the action dude They do they love it and will they get like cred if a cop takes a gun off the street that's something they get like

Acculates for bringing a guy's like just socked his wife in the stomach. No, but your sergeant doesn't like pat you on the back If you get a gun that's like a that's like a cop like Pac-Man pellet that like takes you further in your journey Yeah, that's a bad. It's like a literally a metric for cops I think guns you get and all that stuff. Were you almost on the force ever? No, my wife was on the cop So I got to like observe second hand. I think I thought so hard about becoming a cop, but I could I wasn't able to do it

But you got as a man

We met before yeah, we were before that, but yeah, but she was a cop when you met her? No, she wasn't a cop

“She just surprised me one day. I think when we become a police officer and I was like she was a cop now”

Not no, she did it for like five ever a cop. She was for five years and Philadelphia, okay? That's being a cop dude. Yeah, dude. She was she was around like a little foot she was on foot patrol and everything She was in like not the best area for sure and Philly. Well, like north now she's in south like grazed various so it's like it's it's a pretty it's pretty rough Lot of areas there. Yeah, it's gives like gang there were some gangs ever sure Oh, it was like an old Irish neighborhood of like pretty I would say pretty hardcore white trash and then it was like black gangs

You know, it's a brutal man. It's not a good mix, but the uh, so yeah And did you get a cops got to watch like videos too of like all the bad stuff that happened you get an email of like Like a 14 year old got shot up in a deli last night. It's just lively. It's like the video

Yeah, it's like I don't why do they make them watch that stuff do wolf Twitter makes us all watch all that

Yeah, sure I'm not a cop. That's one of my stuff. I can reply to some of these Twitter feeds I'll send this to the authority I'll wake up in the middle of the night for somebody to turn my phone next time I've seen seven people getting mad cigarette outside of some like yeah outside of like a car dealer ship and Outside of teeth wand or something like what yeah, what portal of hell did I just take myself do to access crazy now

I remember like so I remember when it was Twitter it was like there's too much censorship and I'm like yeah Dude like let me see the real shit now. I'm kind of like let's go let's censor this heavily again My my and I can't even go on X anymore

“It's my I get all like race-bading kind of like race war propaganda where it's like can you believe though?”

It's just not stop You know you can't you know you watch it. You get the race war propaganda. Yeah, dude. I get like lots of like I get a lot of like white supremacy stuff Yeah, I sort of got it. I don't even like I don't like or they weren't you back. They know you have a black They want me back. They want me man. They're trying to break me out of that

But it's just like yeah, it's it's rough. I'll be like watching trying to scroll next to my wife and I'll be like a guy screams the end Word I'm like oh who what was that? I'm like. Oh, I'm fucking video Going back to Instagram. It's just the guy screaming the end word again. Oh shit You might ex-feeds just completely barkers dude. He lunch should do better than that He should want better than that for society. I feel like yeah, you know

I think a there's a lot of smota. It's just trash. That's yeah. It feels like trash honestly. Yeah. I think there was a spot where it felt like I mean, I guess there's still some good video and stuff on there. You'll see. I'll see like some good political stuff on there But I do feel like

“Outside of that. It's losing. I feel like it's kind of starting to lose. It's vibe. I think so. It's then you read the news”

It's like this now valued at 90 trillion dollar and like how how the flies is worth so much money I don't know. Maybe maybe you know if you do flood it with porn and like violence it does make a bazillion dollar. So good business wise. You might be crushing it, but I it's your idea I've stepped off of X. Yeah, I can't I just can't watch it. It's too much. It's too much. Yeah, I'm trying to go to bed I'm trying to drown myself asleep. I'm trying to have a decent life

Fucking killing animals of hacky art. Yeah, I mean what necessary. Yeah, what is funny too? Like yeah You're like trying to like, you know, I want to live in a safe neighborhood then you're just watching Just people being shot in the face and you're like, why am I doing this? I might not save house. This is crazy Dude, it's where to point for sure. One of the biggest things I'm noticing are for myself that I notice we're at a point with fucking my talking about. That's insane. We might be at a point. Oh, let's see. Yeah

Where like I have to control what comes into me man Yeah, and if I don't then that's my fucking fault. Yeah, true, you know Now the algorithm the people to make the algorithm should be able to be held liable if like someone goes and does a crime Based on like them feeding them like the same type of bullshit like somebody goes and shoots out a place because they got indoctrinated into some really strong and like sadistic beliefs or something

Because the algorithm fed them that I think that those people should be held liable Yeah, man, or it's tough case by case is tough because it's like well, how do you it's like in court Obviously like the moral thing yeah, but like a lawyer like Facebook's lawyers was just shred that Like oh, he was watching that and this and that don't get out of that, but I agree it's like I think Didn't they just rule against Facebook now being like, yeah, well, I think if things came against them being like

Yo, you guys kind of like they did with cigarettes We're like yeah, dude this shit's bad. You knew it's bad. You gave it to people now. You got a fork

Here you go right here a jury is ordered meta and Google to pay three million dollars to a 20 year old woman

Who alleged that she became addicted to Instagram and YouTube as a child All right, everyone else get on that train jurors found the company's liable for product design features that harmed her mental health the plaintiff Kaylee GM testified that the apps replaced her hobbies and attributed anxiety depression and body dysmorphia Yeah, bro, that they have about two billion lawsuits coming about the same like that's it says it right here

To reach trial a bell weather to assess how other claims could be resolved. Well, this is apparently from what I heard like long ago Is a lot of these social media companies I had people who designed slot machines consult with them to like how to make their

Basically interface as addictive as possible. You know when you like pull down a refresh and like your phone kind of like

Shakes a little bit. There's that little noise. That's like slot machine technology somehow like it's designed to like you get a little dope a mean burst when it goes like You know, yeah new stuff and it's like apparently it's set up like that where it's like it's purposely designed to be maximally addictive and They did it on purpose shit. Yeah, that's and it's like that's it's like cigarettes like oh, this is bad for you You know now they're gonna have to pay out they already have billions of billions of dollars or after just fork some of the billions

Yeah, yeah, it's worth it to them. Yeah, to continue to do it But do remember the old school dopamine burst you see a bald eagle flab on That was the dopamine burst. Yeah, remember those days or even if it wasn't and somebody just said it was True, yeah, you're kidding fucking seeing your kid. You're staring up into the sky. It's like a pointing Dude, I do remember being younger before the internet and just like like it's like summer

I would just be like sitting outside and just like I would just be able to kind of like stare off for a while And it's like like this is nice and I it's like I have a I can't like take a shit now if I don't have my phone

“I'm like I need to need to be scrolling. Yeah, but when was the last time that we've daydream?”

You know, I know it's tough you really do I have to like on a plane I can try to like force myself, but then in the whole time I'm like I can't believe I'm not my phone I'm so cool right now. I don't even daydream. I just like pat my self on the back For not looking at my phone. Yeah, and then I go you know what? I'm gonna look at my phone. Everyone's looking at the phone Dude, or if you go to a ret it used to be this is a crazy thing to think that someone could be an arrester on

by themselves Like 40 years ago, you could do that you could be an arrester on by yourself Sitting at a table and you wouldn't look insane True Now without a phone like for now if you're seeing someone in a restaurant by themselves

Just sitting there Waiting for some people who are probably doing coke to bring them their food No dude, I do this when I go out when I like I'm in a different city. I'll go out to dinner by myself

And I'll pride myself and I'll sit there and just like waiting for some congratulations that never comes

Just stare straight into like you literally don't know what to do with yourself because it is that problem You're like I can't stare straight ahead. I'll try to look like kind of almost like I'm dreamily like yeah It's just nothing there or I'll rearrange a software again. Do that shit Like a shell game with like Fork knife knack and pork knack and go to the bathroom really slow

Chick-fil-a is offering free ice cream to families who agreed to put their phones away during their meal Bro, that's part of an effort to encourage more face to face

“Time and less screen use at the table. What are the exact rules with that?”

Who's enforcing and do to imagine if you call sure family the Chick-fil-a family meal just from one glance That's tall. I mean you were getting serious trouble. You're going. It sounded your phone just to see the bears didn't get it done again You're gonna call sorry target guy blows a whistle They should have do Chuck fulla is his name. It's a black that's a black did in there He's a straight chicken cop in there

Good job. He's like boom got you yeah fork $38. Let's go Yeah, Chuck fulla Chuck fulla likes again. Yeah, that's a shit, man. That's that's nice. Chick-fil-a. It's you know like that. How do you two? I like that even if they're not on their phone It'll let me see the promotion is only offered it select Chick-fil-a locations by individual operators not a company wide program

In a Virginia 2016 from a Georgia operator and has been revived locally at various times. I like that though Yeah, dude. There was just like or just driving and thinking about shit. Yeah

“I know do your mind had so much time like I think that's one reason where more creative because”

Our mind was able to just fucking create it was able to like the ram wasn't always you know

You computercing that thing. It's like your ram is almost like yep Even if you know what your ram is you're like fuck I better empty the ram track Clean this out you defragment I don't know that is yeah, no dude. It's that's really it's like you know because you have sleep you're brain gets the rest but that like downtime your brain does do stuff like it like kind of organizes things

So you when you just kind of chill out because that's I like when you so when you're on your phone You know when you read something on your phone you're like you don't remember any of it because as you're reading When you're on your phone every button and thing you're moving is like it's a problem solving part of your brain So like you're you're trying to like you know you want your memory to be active so you're like you're you know reading like Information's coming you have so much coming at you like you're the part of your memory that can store information along with the short term

This and that it just gets just it's like splashing a ton of water and a tiny bucket just everything spills out

I never remember anything I researched stuff on my phone all the time and then I go like that'll be like

“Like how many carbs you need to be in key to all read a whole article on it and like a day later”

And I'll be like going to tell someone about it. I'm like, I don't know. You need like only a little I can never retain anything. Well, dude. If somebody wants to tell me something these days I'm like dude. I can look at Information and we all have it now Like somebody used to have the information like you had to go down the street. You had to get molested by a guy. Yeah

Okay, just to figure out how to like you know grow boog and vealias in your backyard You know I'm saying yeah, no, it's it's true now. I can just take a picture of a plant It's like this is a plant you're growing. I do it all the time and I'll be like it's this good Why can I harvest this while yeah, it's actually I do kind of like that, but you'll just take a picture And you'll do what put it in a like perplexity or something. Yeah, yeah, like grow

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Tacobas.com/ Theo see site for details Tacobas point your toes west I personally am not worried about AI like people like it's going to end the world it's like I don't I don't worry I don't think it is honestly and if it it thing is like if it does what are you really going to do right all these A lot of people are doing this like I'm just not using it because it's like I just feel like it's such a weird It's like it's a computer like it's not you can you can destroy a computer easily

You'd say what it would look like self build itself so you can it's like do that's it's just nerds freaking out It's not I don't think it's a real threat whatsoever

“You know, I started to think it's definitely could be like the a y2k thing remember that. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember everybody was like force and they're like”

Possessed to admit they were fast or whatever because God wasn't in one of them after midnight or any like all that shit You know, or it was like don't say you're a f*** before midnight Yeah, God won't let you in or whatever there was like all that kind of like Those email change or send this to 10 people that are a f*** you get those type of email chain like what is Yeah, because they were trying to catch fat whatever I think bush senior was in that, but

Anyway, that was crazy, bro. I we thought why too? I've ever been in it and then people thought the dot com boom people bought like

Remember a guy bought like shoes dot com and he's hurt like and then he sort of like 270 million dollars

Yeah, we're making up crazy dot com name. I tried I tried to get a couple. Thank you. Yeah, I didn't get anything good

“Honestly, I don't I don't remember think I sold him off right away or just they probably just they expired to if you don't keep”

Refreshing them yeah anything good I watched this off the white underbelly this has been cracking me off like a month There was a guy who is similar to that lawsuit. He was going on being like Like I had too much internet at a young age and like it had a bad effect on me and He was like going out and compulsively doing like gay acts, but he was like I'm not gay

I just got like, you know, is the internet and the thing that got him into it was gay dot com Which just made me laugh so hard just as a young kid is hitting gay dot com Your whole life just so change everything changes from gay dot com. Okay, but getting caught in fifth grade on gay dot com I would have been And old two older brothers catching gay dot com

Oh, that would have been crazy huh? I went up to your room

Gay that that's a billion dollar hash that or not hashtag hyperlink whatever people got gay dot com

So that's still worth money I'd for sure gay dot com to send it to your buddy dude For hilarious change you can change hyperlink. You can do those away. You can do that. Oh, man Dude, uh, buff almost dot com was one of my favorite ones Ari manages comedian and he started a website called buff homo's dot com did he really?

Yeah, see if it's still active or not. I bet he pays me Buff homo's dot com is great. What's he doing with it? He didn't want it Oh, it's just good. Oh, just because he has website Which I think he should change that

“Not actually all you have to do is if you put like one good buff gay guy”

Well, he was doing it in his fucking management you won't have not to do it. Why couldn't curate buff homos? Yeah, they're like you know, it's just kind of like that's one to be sort of a fucking manager

Yeah, that's a billion dollar. Yeah, that's crazy. If you're not a fucking pussy

So his managers had to sit him down and be like about buff homo's dot com. Yeah But then, but then they told him make that his landing page basically. Yeah a non buff homo on there And I love Ari is open for me a bunch of the years. He's great. He's a great comedian And he's a great dude clearly business genius too. Buff homo's dot com is so good Bro, and he would send me the pictures of buff homos and stuff and it was like and it was like he would get his friends

That owed him favors. He would give me space time if they model for it. So that was the best part. So you had like guys like Steve Steve Fury, just different comedians who were like kind of door guys at the store. We're also growing good comedians Like Craig Kahnett and he would have him just modeling fucking like regular dudes But when you put him under the banner of buff homos It's crazy. You put a banner over something you see a picture of a regular dude this should off like

Okay, maybe that guy is trying to get the military whatever and they write buff homos above you're like oh, this changes everything I mean, okay, so his manager is probably worried about the fallout of being like is it true that you tricked young comics in the stage Times modeling for buff homos All

“I think some of new is going on for sure. They're all buddies”

Yeah, but it'd be yeah. That's a good lose a bet kind of thing like you lose the bet playing poker for like buff homos of the week I do have something called total creeper.com for a while did you really? Yeah, this was a long time ago And I would just find total fucking creepers and just take pictures of them Did those early websites on the internet? There was molot.com. That was great. Yeah, molot.com is good There was camelto.org people to snap camelto shots and throw that one was that yeah, that one was a little

It's a little bit of an invasion of privacy obviously, but I remember as a young man being pumped on camera. Yeah, what was it good when I though was like that uh Is there a way to look at total because you're way to find that in the like analogs of anything guy? Yeah web archive might have it No, no, this was a must yeah, that's tumblr. That's a UK female. Yeah, that's tumblr. Do you remember tumblr? That's it was we tumblr was crazy dude

I never got into it personally, but I knew a girl who like was or big thing was curating a

tumblr of just like lightly pornographic content There's just like a sex tumblr is crazy. Oh, dude. There was like one like girls and panties getting out of cars or whatever Fuck dude, something about it dude, but in panties not like the yeah, not trashy fucking you know No, dude, we're rare that we can still we're JPEG heads. We're one of the last two of being into it. It got a still image. Oh You know what I mean? Like not a lot of people can say that

Yeah, dude right. I remember the fucking like co-icer to come home from church on Sundays and grab the newspaper Pop out the Coles catalog straight to the under resection locked the door in the bathroom God

Thing this is fucking crazy. I was never say it's how it was because I'll never have a wife

And this but I would rub like a picture of like if they had a model like a underwear model I'd rub it under my arms because sometimes we would kind of smell like p***y a little bit like that Jericho off too. You would stank it up. Yeah. Yeah. I'll just kind of stank it up. Yeah Yeah, I don't think my mom My mom that's actually really good

My mom got a good idea to stank it up. Yeah. Yeah, I never even thought about that. Thanks man. I got a shame

“of it to stay I think that's actually pretty cool”

Now the problem is you're crossing wires is you're gonna catch like you're gonna be out working out one day Catch some of your own phone can be like God damn

I'm gonna come on in there

Start fucking eating out your armpit That's insane. That's the line. No worries. I had a buddy that did that that we catch him doing it at night No, sleepovers. Really? He had like hair under his arm and he would kind of get his get his tongue around the corner of his boss of his Pectarl. Oh, that's fucking weird and get him a little nibble just fucking get a little nibble Danny impressive you nibbling your arm

Ricky okay, well, this was a yeah, they're he's still on here. He'll creeper sick But yeah, people were supporting people were sending this shit in. This is good fit and the creepers in is awesome My great-hand died and there are two zombie juggers shut up to the burial and said they were friends of hers But no one knew these two, what you think but that's total creepers. That's a really good one It was good dude

Damn, what do you think?

“lamp man this guy and I were the same full service car was he was yelling in his phone about a mortgage. What do you think?”

Yeah, I missed the imagination bro. Yeah, I miss like seeing a girl smile at you like on a Friday at school

or give you some sign of like Maybe she even just like actually go throw some trash away forward That would have been awesome. I would love to do that totally and then you're thinking all week and you like fuck She's thinking about me. Yeah, I'm gonna start working now. You started making like like I would we would like chisel like weights How to like wood and shit

Like yeah, pumps yeah We didn't know that it had a way a real amount You're like oh, it just has to look like weights and Just don't shit, but then Monday like she fucking hates it again But there was just that couple day period where there was no phone to see that she was having a blast or that she was like

The family was rich or whatever. I had a boat or whatever You just laid it home and you're fucking poor bed. Yep. Thank you. Yeah, imagine or yeah, it was actually I genuinely I know people say it's all the time, but I do feel bad for like younger kids Have you gotten into like the curricular stuff? I like seeing this magic and all that stuff So he did an interview with an engine call a hand recently. I watched and I've watched a lot of it stuff

But there's like this world of guys that are like

“You know looks maxing is like you the only hope in life is to become as attractive as possible”

But now they're doing these things really that injecting a bunch of peptides. He's like young like you know like early 20s Go on TRT you're hitting the peptides and you know the thing that gets like sensationalized is like You kind of tap your jawbone with a hammer. It's like it's called like bone hammering whatever She like kind of do my girlfriend actually dude. It's crazy and he I watched the interview. He said like I'll man like that's really nothing But that's all like what you have bone smashing is a dangerous non-scientific social media trend

Primarily pop it on TikTok and within looks maxing self-cultures and involves intentionally inflicting blunt force Trauma on facial bones to alter their structure Proponents falsely claim that repeatedly breaking and bracing bones with hammers bottles or hard objects We'll cause him to heal in a more chisel or masculinity if that's the case everybody in stocked and would be fucking beautiful Yeah, generous fucking hitting the face everybody fucking hit my bottles and shit

Yeah, well the thing is it's like you know a lot of it's just internet stuff But there is the underlying philosophy where it's like, you know the die has been cast for you and if you're not like, you know super attractive or like as a you know It's like guys are kind of becoming girls now where it's like I just got to be prettier and like it's like there's a It's called the bone structure hierarchy

Where like the way your bone structure is that kind of determines your whole fate as a person and if you don't ascend You'll become this like it's just like sad and very bleak and like this like I don't know this like really nihilistic thing where it's just like dude You can just be a dude you don't have to be like I need to ascend. I need to ascend so I can mug and blah, well I just I feel bad. I mean, I think a lot of kids at least joke about it But I was watching an interview and I'm like man, this is like a really sad way to live

He's being like my but my what my subverbal is not maximal. Well, it's like dude. You're guy who cares just and what is mugging? That's a bargain. Yeah, mugging is like So you can be you can be heightmogged you can be frameogged if you're like someone's bigger than you and if they take a picture with you And they're looking bigger you've been mugged

There's and there's like you can go any dimension of like whatever you have so cockma somebody could be cockmogging you

Somebody could be more that's the worst mug if you get cockmog dude. That's fucking tough Yeah, I'd be hit my with the hammer Look at the fucking jaw bones on this little Like damn that thing it's all like yeah, but look at that fucking smile on it What just brutal is I know girls do that they take pictures together and there's a lot of like very hyper

Specific in Paris in where they're like look at my knees and here it's like this is now like younger guys

“I think are starting to do that to some degree becoming very aware and conscious of like”

He's taller than me in that foot. It's like just you find it's I don't know that guy's kind of freaks me out We don't we can't have both people right here. So there's no there's not a forever. He got frameogged That was though. He took a picture. That's cool vicular and Okay, he got frameog because the guy stood next to him was bigger and it was just That's like now you decent you were ascending and now he descended a little bit damn

It's and just cool vicular. I mean that guy also looks like he looks like a fucking GMC store So the other guys so that's the ASU frag guy. The guy in the black is cool vicular. Yes Yeah, so that guy. Yeah, that's that's just it looks it looks unnatural. I guess is what I'm trying to say

Yeah, dude. Well that first of the guy on the right looks fucking insane dude

He honestly looks like a fucking good like kind of a trail lesbian No cab bro cab dog be a lamb dog You know saying you're wearing a fucking like bra shirt or whatever. What are you fucking doing and also you know we started all that was lower Jemelo ball dude just fucking whatever that dude wearing that bra or whatever really shooting that fucking fade away

No, no, was he wearing a bra? Yeah, him and SGA were like Just good and around after it. Oh, I think I shit. I think I Well, do this is this fuck was that? I don't know that was when I was growing up mixed dudes wasn't fucking

“Mixed dudes had enough that's what you're talking about. What the fuck is that about? No, that's not it. That's crazy”

Yeah, I'm saying that's crazy. That's wild. You don't when you need just that much of a shirt

Yes, take it. Yeah, you don't need it. Oh, yeah, like you hit a gross bird or whatever Dude the sad thing about like the you see that guy. That's like a very bizarre frame With all like the peptides and like filters and all this stuff That's what's garnering all the attention like especially for women like your lips have to look all people are becoming literally artificial beings And they're it's like dude, it sounds like a really complicated thing. It's just I think about this all the time

There's this thing called super normal stimuli which is like so you know, it's it's not as like crazy It sounds like say they these studies where they had these butterflies and like the male butterflies They saw a female that was a shade of purple the more purple the butterfly was that was the more attractive They were in the butterflies would go mate with those butterflies The scientists made a shade of purple that wasn't able to be produced by the natural butterflies

That was like such a deep purple the butterflies were just lay on this piece of piece of cloth and just die and I feel like that is happening to people in summary guard where people are like especially women are making themselves into these like Artificial things and now guys are matching and it's just I don't know freaks me out So you're chasing an aesthetic that's not natural and it's not attainable and they're using all these like scientific methods a lot of women if women have those lip injections dude, I'm out

They're yeah if women put on too much lip like if it's a little bit I can get right but if it's just Fucking don't do like your lips look like they've been like like they've been eaten or whatever Yeah, dude. No, I'm telling that and there's there's also a fine line of plastic surgery We're it almost all ends in the same exact look There's like a fully constructed face that you're like, oh, it's just like plastic surgery face

I just feel bad because you know you're obviously insecure everybody is and then you do all this work And you're like, oh my nose looks better. This looks better and then it's like I have this like look at it. Oh, I look like I'm a clown or something You do something. It's just too much. Yeah, and then also if we'll go put on so much lip gloss, bro I'm like it's just like it's almost like you're saying it's like it's like it's too

It's like too much of the purple call. It's like it's too juicy. Yes. You know what's lips are this juicy like chill And it's I just feel bad because of that's I've seen this. Yeah, that one is That's a rough look. He's wearing a fucking jersey bro. He's wearing a jersey bro. Look at this

“Yeah, that's what it's going on. I don't know”

Having a good time. Yeah, that's a good point, man. No, but that's yeah I saw that that's you know, that's one of those videos you're like dang did I really look like that during that still smile That's okay. No, and that guy's a boss do you too? And honestly if he's one of the if if any of these guys ended up being gay Fellas or whatever yeah, and being one of the best ever do it good for them exactly gives a shit gay Jordan gay Jordan would be nice

I'd actually be kind of sick to watch fly float floating

I just I feel bad for like you know because you have they they get like prey to ponds You're on social media and it's just nothing but before and after is before and after is and you just go after that You get like you can get like permanently just figured and it's just you know Yeah, I don't know something strikes me. It's like evil to do that. It was a lot of stuff now Two words like you know the peptide like all that stuff a lot of it

There's not a ton of research done on it. We just started fucking hearing about it Yeah, and everybody started using it. I know and there was dude I remember I was with a girl one night in her car and I was trying to make out or something I don't remember but we were sitting in there talking and She's like, yeah, I got to leave and I two hours to go down and it's here wanted to get some

“Always in big it's just cheaper down there really. Yeah. Do they busted woman outside of a vineyard?”

Bounce on illegal those impots. Oh, bro. Yeah, that's who's you start going to the doctor and then they you know

They all start talking to each other and they get one of them gets it off the internet Yeah, there's dude so many of them are doing it taking the jab and it is cut because you do get it like you go to a doctor But it's like it's kind of expensive and all it takes is one of them being like I got this website I'll get it. I'll inject you and then it's like this is person know what they're doing Where did they really get that? Yeah, is this stuff and it's I'm I'm so freaked out about putting anything in my body

I like can't do it. I'll take like a new vitamin and I'm like I feel kind of weird today I was that's me. I'm being a bitch, but it's like I really am like, but that's Irishness I think as well. I think so that's not great best on beer and stuff like that. Thanks. Oh, basic whiskey beer Please basics. Yeah, yeah, I had adding to I've I took the one. It was like a pill form. It just take it for your stomach And I think it helped. I didn't really notice much, but the needles man. I'm like I get just too scared

I have one in my fridge. I can't do it. I'm like, I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna do. It's supposed to help you like sleep and burn fat And I like look at it. I go, I'm not doing it. Just sit there. I'm scared of the needle. I won't do it Yeah, say that bitch in case things get crazy shoot it into one of your fucking plants. True Dude, if you started pept on your onion plants dude Mexin, you know you have like 11 blackberries in your yard. That would be nice

“But yeah, we can each have my whole family each have like three of pieces. Oh, awesome. How good are radishes?”

You mentioned radishes man there. They grow so easy and they're like they're good They can get a little spicy here and there, but like those ones are they were rewarding because like this is a thing too Like I tried to grow on carrots. Do the carrot greens this big. I pull the carrot out. I'm not like this fucking big So that I got to hurt you wait three months Then you just got to take it out and throw it on the ground. It's like it kind of decompose radishes just rip man

You can grow radishes anywhere those bull those under those like Potatoes radishes, I think it's super easy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, two birds over there. I think the potatoes of two But radish. I don't know like root vegetables, I guess. Yeah root vegetable. They grow pretty good, man I my grandma used to have them all in her cellar at the end of the mech and uh in a day They have a lot of like senior citizens would have them in their cellars and stuff like that. Yeah

a lot of root vegetables in there I love radishes though. They're kind of They've kind of disappeared for a while I was yeah kind of like shaved up like they'd fucking been yeah to really like somebody to terrorize them and put them on like a little Sounds kind of see that how like shredded radishes. Yeah. It's kind of weird

I feel like Mexican food brought them back into my life. Ooh I would see them on the tacos and I had a first I'd be like from the family and then I started eating them on like them He seems pretty good actually. You get a fucking spicy rat. It's so broken a little bit of salt on it. Yeah, man. They're good They're good and there's something I mean just pulling it out of the ground washing off and eating it. It's just there's something awesome about that

You ever pull one right out and just wash it right there and eat it in the yard I'd have to wash it first so I usually bring it inside, but I'd like to I feel like those You got I've like picked them off. I picked like berries off a bush and eat them

But the rat is she I'd never pulled them out of the dirt need them now. Do that I should actually I have left a little bit of dirt on before

When washing it and like it's got to be minerals and shit in here I don't believe it and don't believe all the eat in the dirt propaganda That you need dirt for sure. Oh, I wouldn't have it fun. I mean it depends on what area Just it does the true yeah true true true. My soil's pretty good. That's the thing too You got to like work you got to like you know you got to build like a whole little colony in your soil

You know because if you just dump soil out of a bag. It's not it's not living it's how many square feet is your garden? Oh man not a lot It's probably like 40 total if if that and then I have a little thing outside my fence it gets like full sun all day That's probably another like probably I have like 50 60 square feet total small

“Do you have to water in the morning any evening or how does it I do in the summer?”

Yeah, but water palies those I have those and I have I have like some sprinklers now I got to hook them up, but the I just kind of water them though twice a day depending on depending on how hot it is If it's like super hot, that's twice a day. You put some mulch down to keep the roots up It could give the roots from getting scorched So it's just it's nice, man. Especially like yeah, well, you just see a new little bud pop off your plan

It's just such a like come out in the morning and I'm like, ooh, it's just a nice little treat

You got to be patient. You got to wait and it's like like dude. I plan at garlic six months ago I might have some like in three weeks and it's just like just like a thing that's like good That's gross. You know what I mean? That's like, you know Because otherwise I've had a lot of times in life, right? I just have nothing to look forward to And you're just like whatever Nick every day. I'm like, well, my berries eventually

Two years. I have like things that are going to take like two years to grow and I'm like, man, two years. You're going to be sick You don't like that. It's it. I'm telling you. It's really good for you I'm been wondering if there was ever a time when you were with your family and your car broke down

“Because I've been there and I remember the car was broke down and I stood off. I walked off from that thing”

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www.valorrecoverycoaching.com or email them at [email protected]. Thank you Well, you know what I recently I started to get up earlier and do like just really just start to take some control over my own life more Yeah, like and it's just helped me so much when it's helped me to like I don't know everything else just feels like more possible it's like oh I'm caring about what I'm doing here you know yeah Like it hasn't been like every day has been perfect but just like over the past month it's gotten like

Let me see what I'm trying to say like so I'll get up and I'll like do some yoga work out meditate Hit an AA meeting or something and then I'm like it's like 10 a.m and now I'm but in the rest of my days mine Right, I didn't have work and shit to do but I just feel like like the more I'm investing in myself or things like that It's like it feels good do it. Yeah, it's unbelievable. It's otherwise it's like what is moving your life

“You know, you're just kind of being blown about I do that all the time or I'm just kind of like you have to make your life”

Mean something exactly when you're okay. You come out of this time where like oh there's all these things I get to get put into and there's somebody putting you in it. You don't even realize it like you're yeah all this stuff happens You're just in but you like we kind of lose that as we get older. You know I mean I know work comes along and family comes along

But it's like yeah, you have to always feel like oh life has to make it. No, you have to make it. Yeah

Dude, it's just like a hundred percent sure. That's actually fair I never thought about that too because you do get thrown into school And yeah, you're just like well, I guess someone will throw me into a job and then you just kind of just like drift along and it's like I I'll do that for like a lot like stretches of time and then like How does something will happen where I'm like the fuck am I doing it? This is a really bad feeling

I'm gonna work out. I'm gonna do this. It dude. It really does make your life feel so much better It's like a minute if you get up like a half now early. Yeah, just like just get up and like go for a walk Otherwise, yeah, that's that's a feeling that I get like really free at like that'll really like Bring me to a bad place when I realize I'm just being blown about yeah by the whims of whatever forces around me Especially as Tom goes on dude. I went to your birthday party. That was fun

That was fun. I was a fucking complete shock for already see you had no idea no clue Everyone's laughing. I mean like you didn't even Google the thing like my wife told me she's gonna take me to a An opera and then she did it. It was actually to regret it was a pretty good move

She's like we don't we never do anything like that we never get dressed up and I was like all right

It was boys in the hood the opera

“No, I didn't know what the hell it was man. I was like I didn't everyone's laughing at me because like didn't you Google?”

The opera wasn't even in town that weekend. I'm like I didn't look it up. I was just showing up man. You know And 84% of life just showing up. Yeah, man. That's and I I really can just Be like what I like I don't look into thing I I realize that night. I didn't realize how Little I truly like look into things and I'll just like just be like all right. I'll just come I don't I don't like research it because I was talking a lot of people

They're like I'd have to look at the sea charred. I have to know where I'm sitting Yeah, that's whimsical. Dude. That's like an Irish hello or whatever I do not really do not know what the fuck is going on. I did it was going in there and I just showing up They're like oh, this will be cool. I was like I like it to see an opera. I've never seen that before Just wait until it came and then so I'm like in my head. I'm like I'm gonna be in a dark room all night

I was like I'm gonna see it a little weed edible. I'll be fine So I'm literally what she was like all the tickets we got we get to go meet the opera singers like before it I'm like in meet and greet with the opera singer so I'm like sounds weird but I'm like I'm down to meet them This is kind of cool. I'm super gollable and then So I'm like kind of stoned and I just like walk into this room being like I remember the last thought I had was like

I wonder what opera singers are like and walk in and I saw my mother-in-law and I was like what the hell Why is she here and then I saw someone I hadn't seen them like three years and I truly was like Oh, I'm probably having a dream and I was like this is not real and I kept looking around And like the noise is kind of came back and everything's surprised and I was like what the fuck and then I got like angry I was furious at first

I would be telling me that dude I stood there and I never it was like 150 people

I'm like kind of high on it. I'm like this is I know this is completely overwhelming

“Surprise and then like I'm looking around me and like what the fuck should be everyone wear tuxedo's and shit for this?”

And I'm just like Fury and a red touch I forgot Fury sorry I just felt like oh no And then I just kind of like I like realized what was happening that I was like frowning at

150 people and I had to like oh, I think everybody and it took me like an hour and a half to like Shocked to wear off. I was I was fucked up But you know eventually I was like what was the anger about you think kind of I mean tell me that that was fast and and your wife was great dude like she started like five months in advance He's like don't forget

Friday or whatever and I'm like this Friday. She's like no Friday and five and a half months But she would remind you every month and I was like fuck and then once I said I promise I said I promise I'll be there like fuck. I got to be there But it ended up being great though. It was a great night dude. I got to hang out with Tony There we are at him eat it

Joe Dorosa and is that your cause at Ozac? He works at it. Yeah, he was at the motion for a while But yeah, dude. It was a it was a good group though. Dude. It was that was it was fun. I though I got there

It was just like I don't even I couldn't even place the anger at first. I was just going like

Put the fuck in it and I was actually kind of looking forward to sitting in a dark room all night Watching the Ozac. This will be crazy and then it was just like what I was angry about was like I don't really like a lot of attention So then I walked in and just like a completely in total Just being like a washing attention and like surprise and it just like it pissed me off

Yeah, and then I was like oh this is like a party. This is nice

“It was it literally took my brain a second to be like it's the first it wasn't even a party. You know what I mean?”

Like my brain was like these are just people looking at me like why is this happening to me right now? And then it was like it became in in layers and I'm like oh fuck. This is my 40th surprise party Because we did something two weeks before that so I was like nice. I'm done So like it like took me on my brain. There's like lagging for like seconds and then you know It's like had to walk around and be like hey, thanks. Hey, thanks. Thanks. You know well

- Thanks, Maxx. - Thanks, Maxx. (laughing) - Thanks, Maxx, Maxx, Maxx. - It would be so funny, 'cause I'd be talking like a comedian, and then there'd be just somebody

who was randomly downstairs, who was at the thing. And it was a nice event, man. It was like an event through the really worst. And it was like a thing with desserts, and there was like, think of they even had like a doctor,

something. They had great food, they had a, but then there would be also like just family members or somebody's like, "I'm mad, it's 11 because." And whatever, you know? (laughing)

You know, I had to plot, you know, just fucking.

- Yeah, one of my cousins, I know I heard the next day kind of college news, like, "Let's get a photo right now." - Yeah, it was. - Oh, I don't remember some things, but it was just like, there was a lot of different things.

And you would get like, "Yeah, kind of Irish, "she's looking guys, and it's in that, "and then a fucking, you know, "just somebody would down, said, "Remove things." Said it was Irish or whatever.

And then even just down to a big freckle in a wheelchair, you know? (laughing) It just, like, was this essentially fucking Macasca's, "that had just been through it all, you know? "Some civil war veteran was there."

Like, it was ghosts there. - Yeah, people were taking it back, 'cause that was only a small faction of my family, so people that I knew would be like, 'cause you would just see various mutations of me,

where you'd be like, "That's gotta be one of his cousins." That people were like, really laughing about that all night being like, "I can literally spot every single one "of your family members." You guys call them all exactly the same.

- Dude, that would be the best if they had done a thing, fine Matt's family. - It would be like, like, "Oh, where's one of them?" - Yes. (laughing) - And you had to, like, just find, like, amongst all the people there,

you had to get, like, a signature from those 10 people. - That's kind of fun, actually. - But now, it was, it was cool, man.

I, you know, I always, I gave it up to Brittany,

I was like, Matt was very sweet of her. - Very nice, very impressive. It was just such a, it was, like, a set, it was like an event. It was like a massive event, and it's, you know, I'm always kind of like, "I don't wanna do anything,

"you know, blah, blah, blah." So that was, it was nice, I was like, I appreciated it, but it was, it was a lot for me to take in. - Yeah, it's scared, dude. - Yeah, I haven't just got any experiences, kind of scary, especially that magnitude, man.

That was, like, that really, like, through me upside down, so I'm going, like, you know, I don't, like, I don't like be asking people to do anything. You see, people weren't in talks as I'm going, "Oh, fuck." So that my family hates dressing up, so I'm like, "Fuck, we made it." They made 'em do that, and you know what I was just like,

but it was cool, who's awesome? And you can, you can, can you still be drafted or not? - Oh, for the war? - Yeah, I think they just bought, yeah, I think the war is a 40-tonic term. - Yeah, that was the military, right?

- Yeah, the conflict. Yeah, I think it's up to 42, so if I'm, what are the requirements? And they keep fucking making the age bigger, dude, dude, yeah. 42, dude, this is fucking, I got two good years of me. - Bro, you can do this. - You can do this.

- A colonel, that'd be crazy. - I mean, I was a college, at least I want Sergeant, like, I'm not going in there as a grown. - Yeah, but actually, I'd kinda like to boss up as we got to be on time.

“What is some of the army change, so you have to do some of those, probably?”

- Yeah, it's like, I don't know what I'm doing, 'til. - Yeah, I know that, 42 is not that old or whatever. - Welcome, America. - Army racing, listening age to 42. - Yeah, they're pandering to me.

- Ease is marijuana stretch, dude, so you can have fucking, dude, it's just gonna be a bunch of fucking thick trans kids on gummies out there. - Well, here was one of my problems. - Do you know that 70% of young Americans are unfit to serve in the military? They couldn't serve in the military.

- Yeah, I heard that. - 70%. - Yeah, that's no surprise, man, that's, that's, I mean, that's sad. - And blew my mind. - Really? - Yeah, when I was a Catholic, like, I felt like 70% could serve in the military.

- Yeah, yeah, for sure. - Yeah, some kids in the military, something, yeah, like, some black kids, they were still sucking their thumb or some other, like, 19 and still rocking, yeah. - Which is cool, but they weren't saying anything, but they weren't retarded. (laughing)

- So you got to pick a path, but then you had, like, yeah, one kid that would get sunburn bad,

he couldn't go, yeah, that B staying kid or whatever, who is always a fucking piece of shit.

- I'm down for them just doing, like, battle bots. - We're at the point now, or yes, it is ridiculous to just be like, yeah, we're gonna just send a bunch of 18-year-olds there, shoot each other. So that's like, it's just, like, I said this before, it's like embarrassing, like guys, for real, we're still doing this.

Let's do battle bots, solve it, see what's up, whoever wins, you know, whoever wins.

“- You know what I think? - Pink slips, yeah, your buzz off, flips my wedge,”

and now you get the whole nukes, but if I'll build a better robot, I'll get the nukes back, so I can destroy the world if I have to, you know, if I want to get my way. - Yeah, I agree, it's like, what do, to really be using? - I don't know dude, it's just fucking weird.

- But there's the trick where it's like, yeah, you know what you're right, then some guy just blows up your city and you're like, I'm fucking blown them up, fuck that. - Yeah, that's like, you know, I don't think it's acceptable. - A major update to Army recruiting regulations,

this week raises a maximum age, a recruit can join a 42 and removes a barrier to joining for recruit to the single legal conviction from marijuana or drug paraphernaly possession. - Nice. - The Army's previous limit was 35, though,

exceptions are occasionally made. The higher age limit brings the Army in line with other services, limit of 41 in the Navy and 42 in the air force. - Oh, that's the weirdest of all, and again, it's, well, the fuck is that?

- It's kind of shit, I don't know.

I thought that was fucking Doug Stano for a second.

(laughing) - And the left. - Well, the, okay.

“Secret WF of Christy-Nome's cross-dressing husband Brian,”

the Pouting Busty-Bimba Photos and Troy of explicit messages. - Mm, yeah. - He could have taken him in a costume he was doing. - Yeah, I mean we see. - It's today revealed as a secret cross-dresser

who don's a gigantic fake-brass and pink hot pants to chat with online fetish models. - Ooh, that's the porn hole going wrong, man.

- So you need to shut the laptop.

- Once you're putting, when you're bimbifying yourself or webcam, as I would have happened, he was bimbifying. - He looks like, well, his wife operated at the highest echelons of government handling matters of national security and a recent old DHS secretary

by Brian, Nolan, 56 has been dressing up and playing adult, and paying adult entertainments to talk dirty. The Daily Metal has reviewed hundreds of messages involving three women from the bimbification scene

where porn performers, transwismselves in a real-life Barbie doll is by pumping colossal amounts of saline and other brands. - Oh, that's, that's is, that was his boobs, basically, from saline.

- Yes, he pumped his, it was he pumping his own tits, followed up, shit, God. - Okay, yeah, no, he had balloons. - Okay. - Oh, Brian, and insurance bubble,

we can be seeing a squeezing of a flash-colored crop top with skin, tight, pink shorts. - Oh, so those tits were balloons with the nipple, oh, the knots mimic the nipples. I mean, I'll get, I'll shut at least shout them out

on the nipple position, that was, that's pretty smart.

- That was kind of nice. - Dang, bro. - Oh, the fuck dude, what the fuck is going on? - Bro, that's nice for balloons. I'll get, whoa, what the fuck.

(laughing) - Oh man. - But he has that kind of glossy scan where he's fucking, you know what I'm saying? - That's how you horny guy.

I'm gonna go out and let me hear and say that that's kind of alpha. To be that horny where you have balloon boobs, like a fifth grade. (laughing)

- I don't know, it sounds like what there's fucking clavicular kidney in it though. (laughing) - Fucking hacky sacks in their chest and shit. - Yeah man, that is,

“- He sent his secret roster wrong on Aquinas”

at least 25,000 yards of your cash out in PayPal. But when the payments were delayed or filled them to your laws of chats, we quickly turned sour. - Oh, but if I paid fucking $25,000,

look at my balloon tits and you didn't, you delayed on me, I turned sour. - Oh dude, so they kind of like put his stuff out there. - Yeah, it's a sounding that somebody who spouses at that level has that kind of bad judgment.

- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and bro. - I didn't know this was a thing, dude. - Yeah, I guess it is, dude. Honestly, bro, all this shit makes wanna cut my wiener off and mail it to Africa, dude.

I'm not even joking, dude. I thought about that for years. Cut my wiener off, me done. - Yeah, my nuts off. - Yeah.

- If they want it or just whatever you want, you can do it, send them both. But keep your nuts, this is that'll keep your tea going and stuff out there. - Yeah, keep my fucking nuts.

- Even nuts, well, you're nuts hang. - Yeah. - Chop off your unit and just keep everything. - You've been mail it to Africa. Feed up that feed up person or tin.

(laughing) - Have you noticed?

- They grill that bitch on for a second, dude.

- Much that thing. - They get some fucking Tennessee wiener in the mail. (laughing) - They would grill that shit. - Put mine on toothpick and serve it at a party

with others, but yeah, they're (laughing) (laughing) - They be like, "Glizzy!" - No, it's a glizzy! (laughing)

- It's a push, it's a push, it's a glizzy. - I mean, that is sad, man. It's like, yeah, it's a way here. - It's a Uber driver. He's like, we need our revolution.

You, podcast guy. (laughing) - He was bringing pumped up. - Yeah, you know, he's trying to get me to fucking do something like, dude, I'm fucking trying to go,

I'm going to work, dude. - It's probably CIA, honestly. He could have been a fucking off. I'm a side. But it was just kind of crazy.

He's like, we need a revolution. - Yeah. - 'Cause he's like, "Hey, I's gonna come, it's gonna be all way most. We won't have a job, you know?"

- That's true, too. Yeah, that stops coming man, for sure. That's gonna be weird, I mean, it is gonna be, you're not scared of it, though you said. - No, not really.

“I mean, it's like, I, well here's the thing.”

It's like, if I felt like it was coming and it would just like destroy my livelihood, I'd obviously be afraid of that. I don't think it is. And I feel bad if it does,

but I feel like maybe this is me just being hopeful. It will kind of engender some massive change where people then have to learn how to, you know, like, do we start just sharing stuff who everyone has with you? Like literally what do you want that?

And that, you know, people go, "That's communist, it's like, yeah, obviously." But it's like, if it wipes out, just like nine industries at once, and you have millions and millions of people

who could work, there's no point from them to do it. It's like, what do you do? Like what do you do then? And it's like, are they gonna have to just like invent weird, like almost fake jobs,

if people are gonna get paid just to kind of vibe out, I don't know. I'm personally kind of curious to see where it goes. 'Cause it's like, you're not gonna fight the AI stuff. Everyone's like, we're gonna stop it, it's like, no, not.

If it saves big corporations money, it's coming. They're going to do that. Nan it becomes like, what do you do? And I guess like, you know, yeah, I could get now that I think about it.

So like, well, maybe the billionaires will give us a money and like, well, they said that, you think they will?

“Well, that's what they've said is that people would get”

some sort of a stipend or some sort of a UB universal basic income or some sort of a token that they could use for things like for, which is crazy to hear. Like, Altman said this sort of shit is a king then.

So then we'd have kings. Which, again, if we go back to some like futuristic, medieval, like, surfs, lords, kings, knights, could be chill.

It's probably people who like, fuck you. Could be chill though. Could be chill dude. You get to like, I get to just be in my garden, light fires and just kind of like think about the glory of the king.

Hey, yeah, Altman, king, Sam Altman. King Altman, it's called my fucking head off. And then he cut your fucking ramp down. He cut your hard drive down to fucking 30 megabytes a month. No more questions about your garden.

Sorry, my lord. And then that thing comes through with you. Throw the dead, people just on it. Like if you're neighbor dies, remember back in they like, in the, in the wheelbarrow.

The dead farther, whatever, yeah.

“Yeah, I think, and this is my, again, this is shit.”

You have my fucking ear pods in his pocket. We put him on the fucking head cart. This is me being, hey, hey, you manity. Yeah, check his pockets of that guy. You had a fall on your device.

Yeah, I feel like, you know, every society rises and then falls in a terrible cataclysm. That's like, there hasn't been one that's made it out of it yet. So like, maybe, it's like with COVID, it was, COVID was bad, but it also did kind of shake people

out of that like dull, thoughtless malaise. It's so many people are trapped in just like a meaningless existence, they kind of hate. So I'm hoping the AI shakes the cage enough where people can kind of come out of it,

but then we don't all just like fall into like complete chaos and start like killing each other. Yeah, I think there's a sweet spot. So I'm hoping it kind of shakes it just a little bit. That makes sense.

Yeah. So that's my hope, but it's like, yeah, then it's like, well, maybe the billionaires will be generous. I'm like, hmm, it feels like they, they want us poison enough, right?

It's obviously, the so much that it's fucking water, it's chloride makes people dumb. Like if you have your water, your dumber. Yeah, yeah, which is crazy too.

“But like, they want us to be dumb enough”

and like not have any fucking balls or want to do. And so you just are kind of like in this sort of wheel and you're comfortable in the wheel.

And the amazing thing to me sometimes is

how comfortable a lot of us are in the wheel, including myself. Oh yeah, you're like, you know what? I could go out there and protest sometimes. I could do this or, you know,

but I could just sit here and watch March madness. Yeah, you know, just got some new massive chips. I got some fucking good ranchers. No, get some milk. That chips are nice, but I love those things.

They're nice. If you eat too many, I'm known. Yeah, that's a fucked up belly of it. And I don't need them anymore. I had like six bags in a row, whatever.

I can't have them anymore. No, you eat the whole bag. And you're like, I just ate a pound of beef to hell. What's like having jam when you're at kid or whatever, you can't have anymore.

You know, but it's like that for me. It just kind of burnt out. The thing that I'm hopeful about is that like, you know, because it becomes like if money becomes a weird thing where it's like there's UBI and like,

you do have these like rich billionaire overlords. Like, money is the thing if you have enough of it, it kind of like, you know, pumps up your ego to where you're like, yeah, I did it on the man.

I've always wondered if we could somehow trick like

ultra rich like billionaire types into being like, no, the real flex is like putting like nine million people on like assistance and making like a cool, future peaceful village and like getting them to think like, yeah, that would be cool if I did that.

You know what I mean? Like he had like, why wouldn't he do that? You just had to make up their nerds. Like so like Zuckerberg, you'd be like, dude, you'd settle like it tacking them to be like, dude.

Actually, Zuckerberg's super jack and super tough and cool with you, it's you and like just like giving the nerds everyone like, yeah, we love you guys. And maybe they'll just like, you know, use billions of dollars to terraform the earth

and like a cool hobbit world. I don't know. Now, now I'm just, you know, we start to wonder is it an evil autism that's out there? Yeah, we need to give them the lead.

Yeah, exactly. I think you could be completely right. Because yeah, to think that you'd have billions of dollars and other people don't have anything as pretty crazy. Yeah, but that's, that's the thing though,

“'cause it's like, I think about that all the time”

and it's like, White House turns down Elon Musk all for to pay TSA agents during DHS shut down. Why? That thing was like, well, yeah, we can't pay the TSA guy. This is, I'm a single issue voter

and it's wait times at airports currently. But it's like, dude, just take the TSA out of it. Because they're trying to both pass these like big deals where it's like, well, we'll do the TSA, but you have to agree to this.

But if you're doing his omnibus bills. Yeah, it's like, take TSA out of it. You guys can go, okay, let's fund TSA. Okay, back to our, you know, bullshit forever. It's just, that shit pisses me off.

Yeah. Musk, the CEO of Tesla, no, no, no. Social Media Platform X, said, offered to pay the salaries in 30. I would like to offer to pay the salaries

of TSA personnel during this funding impasse that is negatively affecting a lot of just so many Americans that airports throughout the country were on that President Trump said money that he would love it if Musk paid the agent.

Salaries, I think it's great. Let me do that. The offer of Musk was also warmly received by lawmakers.

But then this is the, here's the problem is.

You know, are, pay him. Right. John Federman said the offer was in Kerala, the generous citizen response to the post, TSA, his cross country were lying on food,

pantries and community donations just to get by. DHS officials told House lawmakers when they did a reform 80, 480 airport screeners

And that the agency is expected to lose $1 billion

“in Musk paid checks by the end of this week.”

Good. Timothy Mellon, Arab Mellon Banking, shout out Pittsburgh donated $130 million to pay the military during the 43 day long government shutdown from October to November.

But what's crazy is, this could be a trap because in your letting kind of ex or Tesla become this privatized, you know, because now you're kind of privatizing airport security. Yeah, whether you realize it a little bit or not,

you're saying, okay, I will let him pay these salaries. Then he comes in and says, well, how about this? Why don't I just, why don't Tesla this manager airport security? Yeah, you could probably do it so much more efficiently.

Yeah. And so that's this, like I'm not, which I'm not saying would be bad. I'm just saying that's where things get kind of risky. A lot of times like offers like that.

There's this kind of caveat of hopeful business. Let me stand along. Dude, I didn't know this until recently, public transportation in Chicago and like, think the late 1800s,

there's all public or private companies. So like, you would just own like, you know, whatever, like if you're in New York,

“it's like, but it's Chicago, like the L train,”

that was like guy who owned the L train, everyone who paid tickets, all the money went to him. And there was another guy who owned like the Northside public and they all eventually the city came. It was like, guys, give me this.

That was like that was like that for a while. And it was like incredibly competitive and corrupt. And you'd have to lobby the government to like pass your thing and you pay people off. And you just collected all the fairs personally.

Didn't even go to the city. So yeah, it's, that is a tricky thing though. 'Cause they can, you know, then they can start doing their weird like credit card. I mean, you don't get great

so customer service with government agencies. - No, I do. - He went to the post office. - Post office is crazy. - You know, there was this, there was like this sister

that was working in there. She's fucking fighting with a bird that's in there trying to steal like a fucking thing a tape or whatever. And I'm like, like in the little gift section area.

I'm like, there's nobody else in there who's fucking win going by is just fucking unbelievable. - I was an agent who he peaked up out of the back

“for like a second they got with the mustache.”

- Dude, he's fucking, the catfish looking. (laughing) Look at one of those package catfishes. He's just back there, he swims up to the fucking door and peaked around.

Just to make sure he's not nobody's looking for him and fucking goes back into the fucking hide behind the seven day certified mail.

You'll never see him for like 40 more years.

- Yeah, he's just a hide for 40 more years. - Dude, he's like, he's like, he saw his mouth shut. I was like 11 more months of fucking being on the clock on the government's dime. - Post offices, crazy dude.

I see, I see a mail all of our merch like at the beginning I would mail all of our merch personally. So I started going to the post office was just like boxes of like 45, 50, 60 shirts, already wrapped up.

And like I got to know that people that are pretty well but it was like at first I would just show up before they knew me they'd be like, what are you doing to us? And then they eventually gave me another address

where I could just like drop it off at the like hub and they would just take them like a big thing at once and just throw them in the thing. But it was funny, I used to get, I used to go there and they let me like come towards the back and dump it in.

- Fuck yeah, it's kind of cool to see the behind the scenes. - It was cool, but it was just, it's very, it is like chill, if there's a line of the post office people are like, okay, it's like DMV meant out and you're like, yeah, whatever man.

- Don't care, they don't feel lines. - No, they really, they only feel lines on one side of the counter, the other side of the counter, they don't feel that line. - No, it's not a restaurant where you're like,

how fuck people gonna leave it, it's like, yeah, fuck it, go use fucking something else. - Public transit in Chicago shifted from private to public control in the mid-20th century, centered on their creation in Chicago, transit authority the CTA in the 1940s.

The Illinois General Assembly passes the Metropolitan transit authority at 1945. When the CTA took over the big private rail and street car systems and effectively complete a prestigious service in 19th century

with the Motor Coach purchase. Yeah, anyway. - Yeah. - That's when it happened. - True.

- I saved into it some history pods. - Yeah, on my Patreon. I've been getting deep into the, like, the conquisitor era,

like the Spaniards go in first, like,

you can tan a Mexico to like, you know, and they like, when Cortez kind of took over the Aztecs and then there's another guy who like navigated the Amazon River, like later on and they like, the Pazarros took out the Inc and Empire,

those stories are like insane. And that's, I've like, I've talked to a, I talked to the author who wrote both the books I was talking about and we're both agreeing. It's like, dude, that's a movie.

I talked to his other guy about the story. It's like, the fact that there's no movie about that yet it's insane 'cause it is like, especially Cortez taking over the Aztecs. It's the craziest stories.

Everyone's like, oh yeah, he showed up in like, tricked Montezuma, like, they did do that but it was like, it was like a multi-year effort and they had like brutal battles. It was, it went on like forever.

And they were like inside Tena Cheetland which was like the city of the Aztecs. Dude, that was like a brutal siege. They barely escaped had it come back and attack it again. It was absolutely insane.

Were they bad people that they were attacking? Or they were just people that they wanted their land or it was just like during that colonial times.

It was definitely during the colonial times. The Spaniards definitely just wanted gold. They were like, yeah, you guys have gold or taken a shit. Oh, he was.

Cortez wasn't even supposed to do it. He was sent by another guy, Velasquez. He was like, take this flotilla of ships.

“Is they were in, where's it like Cuba maybe or somewhere?”

And they were like, he was like, I want you to scout this Mexico or whatever place and you know, see if they have any gold or slaves and you know, bring them back to me. That's crazy.

Dude, so Cortez is like, for sure, he uses took 13 ships and was like, fuck that guy I'm going on an expedition to conquer. So he just, it was like completely illegal. It was all like fucked up but he just was like,

I'm doing my own thing like a pirate basically.

It's like when you part like when your dad's like, hey, go film a carpet, gas, but you take it to a see your girl. Yeah, dude, for like the ultimate version. It's like if he gave you a fleet of like trucks

and you were like, yo, let's go. And it was like, he just rolled up there with 300, 400 guys and they just battled and just battled and like made a line. That was the thing that helped them. They made so many alliances with different people

that hated the Aztecs. And it was like, you know, everyone was like the Spaniards. You know, they did some stuff that was obviously horrible. But the problem was in like the Aztecs times there's all kind of like you could tan

peninsula southern Mexico up into like central. And so you were just being a village and the Aztecs chiefs would be like, yo, it's time for taxes but their taxes were sacrifice victims. So they would come down and be like, give us like 30 people.

So you'd be living together and they'd be like, yeah, we're gonna fucking chop you up, chop you up, let's go. And like they were just snagged most of your babes. And he'd be like, fuck. So then Cortez comes and you're like, yeah,

I'll help you fuck those guys up. So they're all were like kind of against each other. And then like the thing that really kind of like it's fucked up, but it would make me laugh. They would be friend the native there and the native is about,

oh, you guys seem cool. We want to see something cool that we like and they would take them to one of these like religious temples. And it would just be like a dog with its head bastion, like little kids bones of like, yeah,

we fucking chop that dogs head off.

“And they'd be like, what the fuck, what do you guys do?”

And what's wrong with you guys? So there was like, you know, and they say the Spaniards exaggerated a lot of the sacrifice. But it was like, it was definitely on the books and like, so they got there.

And they were like, greedily looking for gold. But then they'd be like, these guys are chopping off kids heads and kicking them down the steps or like, fuck these guys. Yeah, that's kind of how they were thinking seriously. These guys need Jesus.

We're going to kill them and turn them into slaves and give them Jesus and take their gold and we're doing a good thing. So it was like, it was kind of fucked up all around on us. And in my opinion, but like, nobody knew.

You know what I mean? Like, they didn't think it was bad. So do you think like, it kind of goes to an overall idea of like, yeah, do you think that like a human existence is like a trial to see like good versus evil

or like, like I wonder what it is, you know? And then, you know, as things start to get weird and stuff, then you start realizing when most countries

always live under like some severe oppression

with no hope of like a lot of freedoms with not even the ability to express themselves in some ways. Oh, dude, yeah, for sure. Like, yeah, you start to realize that like, I don't know, it's just, I don't know.

I just, yeah, you wonder like it. And then you start to think, well, how does this end? Like, does this end well? But then if that, if you had groups at that time, if you had Cortés traveling around and realizing,

okay, we believe these are bad people, we need to bring them into some sort of enlightenment of understanding. Is that the right way? You know, it's just, I don't know.

- Though it dude, it's really tricky. So they were legally also, they were legally bound. So you'd roll into a village and like you'd hope their peaceful otherwise you're just doing battle.

I think they first 10 minutes, they gotta be it. - Oh, fuck. - Very tough, but luckily for them, they'd roll up, they'd roll up in like, on a horse, which first of all, the Aztecs,

they would see up, or any of those, the mines were there as well. But they would like, they would see a dude in metal on a horse and think this was like some new type of, - That's awesome.

- Yeah, they never saw someone riding a horse.

So they thought the man and the horse became like one weird creature and they were like, what the fuck, and it would just come at you 30 miles an hour with a steel sword and it was terrifying. And then like cannon fires, that like helped him out a lot.

But yeah, they just thought they were like aliens. They didn't know what the fuck they were. They were like, and then they like killed a couple of the Spaniards, and they're like, oh, we can kill these guys. And they were like, you know, a bunch of them.

So it was a bunch of them a little bit. But yeah, it was, their history's been brutal. And it is getting things do seem to be getting better overall. Like, that dude, that's, like rolling into a village, like I'm hungry, I want some gold fucking, you know.

Of course, he would be like nice enough, but then as soon as people started fucking with him, he were like fucking burn villages down, burn people live. He's like brutal stuff. - That's a, dude, that's a crazy mix.

So I'm hungry, I want some gold. - Yeah, well, they would be starving. They would be walking, walking, walking, and they'd like fuck, we don't have enough food. And they'd like you to see a village like we got to go

once you see guys who should. - Dude, and bro, you think there was hot babes back down at that time? - For sure. - Oh, yeah, 100%.

I mean, they're, they probably helped your babes.

“I mean, yeah, true, I mean, but here's the thing though.”

It's like it's all relative 'cause like, you know, you're, like these guys are all by the way, like 21, 22.

sort of, you know, late 1500s.

There's guys, they're all like legendary no-faffs. All of them, they apparently weren't like beating off every day to porn hub. - And these guys are, the chambers fully fucking cocked. - Yeah.

- So yeah, they were probably like, and they probably, you know, there's obviously a lot of brutal rape and stuff going on, but like, but yeah, Cortez famously, in one of the battles, they like the general handed him,

here's a bunch of women, like Bob Alon, the one of them happened to be a former princess from like one of the chiefs who then got sold into sex slavery by like, you know, a warring tribe, who then got given to Cortez as like, you know,

a sex slave, but she happened to be a princess, Melanchet,

“who was like, honestly, one of the key figures”

who helped him translate all the languages that he could move about. Like, I don't know if he could have done it without her. It's pretty crazy. - Wow. - Maybe, they became lovers, man.

They were like, they were thickest thieves, and Cortez had a wife the whole time, living in Cuba.

So when his wife, after he finally won,

he finally wins over to Fizziast, like Empire takes it over himself. - That's great. - He's his wife comes over to visit him, 'cause she's like, all right, this fucking guy's been gone,

I don't know what he is, been gone for two years. Cortez has a child with his new babe who's been through it all with him, and his wife shows up, kind of gives him an ear full to the choke to the death. And he's just, that was just his baby.

It's pretty fucking brutal. - Damn, that's pretty brutal shit. - Yeah, that's a crazy love story. - It's the bizarreous love trial. But dude, if you're guy conquerors, it went to shit like that.

You got to chill the first week or something. Dude, you can't just be coming up. Yeah, you can't get out the car, Malvin' all. (laughing) And literally, it was like a savage conquest,

and it was like, you know, he's there with all his bros, and like, he was also, he had made this alliances with these other indigenous factions

who, like, when they beat the Aztecs finally,

they all had a party, the night of, and their, the, you know, the Spaniards who's like drinking, fucking around. Dude, these like Aztecs do, they were like, cutting off their enemy skin,

and like, walking around in it, and like, you're just all party, they had like a brutal fucked up, like, two-day party that they all woke up from, and we're like, let's say, Mass right now, that was kind of wild,

and then his wife came to visit, Mouth Off, and he just killed her. - Damn, yeah, that's fucked up, sorry. - It is. - It's kind of, it's the story that we keep living.

It's as crazy like that, you know, you don't know who's supposed to be like, the righteous ones, who's supposed to win, what the whole thing is, who's doing things in the name of the right purpose, you know,

you're trying to go off of some moral calculations that you feel like you have, but then we're all like, immoral, we're all like broken people. So it's like, I don't know, man. - Well, that's, that's a thing too, like I said,

I try to like, you know, keep like, at least an open mind to like, all right, well, even if I ran, it's like, say they do make a nuclear weapon, and then they drop it on whoever, it's like, yeah, maybe they have to stop, I don't know, but it's like,

but they're dropping, they're not, they're not dropping them, or they're just gonna use it to get like a seat of the table.

“I think that's what we will do with Nuke,”

see, you make them, and you're like, all right, can we fucking, we get to the big boy table now? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can fucking get in here. - So yeah, I don't know, you know what I mean? I have no idea if it's gonna be crazy.

Now, do you all just gotta be stupid? - No, you're feeling, do you also think though, you can kinda see how like these fucking mega lords and tech lords and shit, like, like, they start to just sit around and like, they all gotta remember like, do we're the fucking,

we own the world, right? They have, there's no way they don't do this, right? - You're 100% right. - And they be like, well, we should obviously make sure the world stays like this, that we own it.

Let's keep everybody fucking dumb, let's keep doing this shit, and let's keep bossing out, and drink in a kid dick, or whatever, until we live forever. (laughing) You know, like, I just feel like there's gotta be,

that has to be, like, and then you, because you start to wonder how good people at a certain level get to that, but they must think, well, if I'm this fortunate, this must God must want me to, you know what I'm saying?

Like, yeah, 'cause if you have been so fortunate and you do have a religious beliefs and your ego gets involved, I could see how you could end up on that road. - For sure. - God wants me to do things this way,

and then you start just fine, whatever you do. - Or, or it's the opposite, you have no religious convictions at all, and you go like, this is, it's just, you know, it's like the, those people who are looking at the world were like, yeah, strongest person wins,

“the whole point of life is to be comfortable”

in, like, in a dominant position, and then like, there's people who have that, that's like genuinely their philosophy. So like, yeah, I'll just leverage technology to gain more and more power to my advantage,

and it's like, that shit's scary. Especially when they get into like the realistic possibility of becoming biologically immortal, and you're like, fuck dude, like, I just want to grow my radishes man, it's like your radishes.

- Yeah. - It is, it's freaked out man, it is really freaked out, but it's also like, I don't think there's a lot of peace though. If you're like running some cyber,

I don't think those guys are chilling,

I don't think they feel good. - I think some of them don't feel. - Yeah, that's fucking that stuff. - So that's the scary part is they don't have the thing.

“- Yeah, I think you're actually right about that.”

- Like to them, it's all a fucking aim when they die, they just short-circuit or, you know what I'm saying? They don't have like, a lot of these people that feels like don't have something. No, yeah, you could be right about that.

But yeah, man, I agree. It's like, get back to what can you control, right? So you make a garden, you go on a nice walk, you spend some time with your neighbors, you do things that feel good while you're alive.

You know, we didn't create the world. We're just here in it. And yeah, I don't know. - It's all sick of a little too, man. It's like, it'll, it's gonna rise and fall.

You know, it's, again, it's at the problem. It's like, yeah, hopefully this time, it's in the time where like, everything pops off and we all just get wiped out in a hot flash. It's like that is, that's scary, but like,

what do you, like, run into the White House and just get like shot in the face by a secret security. It's like, you have to just chill. It's like nothing you can really do.

- Let me see this. Steven Pinker argues that I'm most measurable indicators violence, health, wealth, rights, and knowledge humans are doing better now than in any previous time.

Even though it feels like things are getting worse. And I don't fucking believe that guy. - Well, I mean, it's like, yeah, there's probably less kind of crime and like, large scale violence. It's just, it's just, it's probably just the information.

You get bombarded with just like all this horrible shit. - Right.

“And I think there's still like, you know,”

news outlets, it's all, everything is, I believe that this is, it depends on what you mean. If you don't care about existing and like feeling like you can grow as a human, then maybe so. I thought we were past some of this like old school

colonial shit. We're just gonna, you know, you think we would get past that. - Yeah. - But, um, not just the same thing. They're gonna, they did it with Iraq.

They're gonna go, oh, there's like an existential threat. Like, try to think back on since, but American knows it's not true now. We know it's not true. - That's the problem.

- And it's not our, nobody's upset at our soldiers or anything. That is just the people putting them out there in harm's way and to think about that shit. - Well, it's like dude, think about a time that there hasn't been a giant looming existential threat

over her head. I know. - Since, like, literally the atom bomb. It was like terrorism was the big one. And that was like the Iraq war, you know, back on like,

when I, before that, it was just like Fox News but parents would watch it or just be like crime in the city. It'd be like the inner cities are out of control. They're gonna come kill you. - Oh, ways.

- And then it was just like terrorists are gonna come fucking kill you. And then it was like, like, mischievous. And when they threw that there in the middle, yeah. Yeah, then there was on-solve mystery.

On-solve mysteries was fucking good though. I like, "Fuck, it was banging." Maybe you, you know, helped solve the mystery. (laughing) - And do we go outside and fucking look

in front missing people in our area? We're like, are you or Rebecca Owens?

- Sadly, I never stepped up to the plate.

I was in passive of on-solve mysteries. I never even tried. I kind of, I feel bad about that. - I used to collect all those one in one of the missing cards and ones that came into play.

- It's you. - Yeah. - Fuckin' look at those bits as I'm on the table. - You're on the table. - That's good.

- I was all, I felt like I was like, 'cause I always wanted to find somebody who was missing or always wanted to find like a dead body or something. - Yeah. I was just talking to a guy today.

He does, for a living. I had him on my show, for a living. He goes into bank owned foreclosures. And his job is to like assess what bad, how bad of a condition it's in.

And he's been multiple times. Come in, just a dead body. And he said, you just kind of like, kind of, you know, you gotta like give it a, you know, respectful, nudge.

And then you call it, if I call the cops or whatever, come get it.

You think the first time you nudge he nudge the light

and then after a while you fucking get a little tough. Like the fourth and fifth time you fucking just give it a,

“I think you give it two solid, just like a hard knock.”

(laughing) Just two. You gotta make sure, just give it one. And then just like Gase, it's waking up. Then no response, like, yeah, that's a dead person.

I'm gonna house it the dead person by myself and I gotta call the cops. - Yeah, they must have had a good exterminator. - Yeah. (laughing)

All right, there you go, there you go, right there dude. - Is that J-rod, the electrician? (laughing) Shut up, J-rod, the electrician dude, if you follow that guy's journey, it's the best.

But yeah, having a garden doing things that build your own life out, they give you purpose, right, that's the thing. Let me do someone with my kids, let me fucking, look at this dead rat, you know what I'm saying?

- Let me check out this dead rat race. - Let me start a history podcast. Let me learn about journeys that were before me. You know, just, I think we have to start to create our own senses of purpose.

We have to find new ones in our lives. - Yeah, man, I think that I totally agree. And it's like, you know, I just, for me, it's just like, I'm weary of the news apparatus, information. And whenever I find myself getting angry,

you know, it's again, it's just like, I said to ask myself, like, am I getting pulled into some weird thing? And I try to just like, you know, it gets to sounds like a cop out, but like, stay out of that as much as possible.

Like, what can I do? It's like, I'll try to make people laugh if I can. And it's make, like, you know, some vaguely entertaining and some fashion stuff. And then, yeah, just try to conduct myself

and like, tend to the stuff around me, because it's like, I don't fucking know what the hell's going on.

I can, I can surmise and guess.

“And I think I have, you know, idea, but it's like,”

I don't know, yeah, I just feel like a look, man. That's, if someone calls me to ask me to help with the situation, I'll try to do it again, but it's like, it's just, you know, you're almost like, sometimes I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels

or it's just like, I'm getting like, kind of worked over a little bit to where it's like, and these guys, they're in my head right now. And I'm, you know, that's, that's like dangerous, man. Especially when you get like collective anger,

you're just fucking, you can move that stuff around and like, people, you can do stuff with it.

And so I'm always kind of weary where I'm like, I don't know, man.

Yeah, that's part of the trap too. You start to realize, well, this is part of the trap. They want us to be upset. Yeah, there's a reason why they have all this information that's out there so much of it is still under control,

that there's a reason why this little bed in this got leaked. And it's like, yeah, I don't know, being alive is interesting, man. I will say you get to more and more interesting. It does, I agree. What do you get?

“I think it does get more and more interesting for sure.”

Like, like, I like getting older, a lot of people are always like, oh, man, sucks, my bro. I like, I'm excited to be 50. He's like, this is gonna be awesome. You just got 40, man.

I know, I'm gonna be 40.

I'm gonna chill and be 40, but it's like, I don't have the, uh,

I think it's cool. I don't know, it's something about getting older, like, everyone, I guess when you start hurting all over the probably sucks, but I kind of, I dig it, I like getting older. Get gray.

I want to, I want to look like oldest fuck is fast as possible. It's my goal right now. Really? I'm trying to age Max, yeah. Oh, like, yeah, that fucking dope bro.

This is a die job, by the way. I'm like jet black, normally. Is it really? No, no, no, no, no. I'm really stressed out. Well, dude, thanks for coming in chat with us, bro.

Who'd for sure, thanks? Upcoming dates, uh, the Fitzgerald theater, um, for Matt McCusker,

uh, Hoyt Sherman Place, Des Moines,

St. Paul, Phoenix, Tucson, Phoenix and Tucson, man. Uh, you guys gotta show up Toronto. Oh, the Elgin's a cool spot, dude. Toronto's been good, I'm happy with Toronto.

And Chicago, let's go. That's my, I'm stoked on that. Um, dude, thank you for that. Dude, thanks for, and I got to come into you. You guys just show again when I'm back here.

Please, please do it, be awesome. Next time, it's so, we got to come and do it. We did that one last time with La Mer. It was awesome, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, the keys are whatever I think. The long keys was great. I was, I think that might have been an all-time episode for real. That was awesome.

Yeah, dude, it's foam when you sit down. So, thank you, bro. I appreciate it. Yeah, tell Brittany, thanks for inviting me to the party. For sure, it was a good time.

Thanks for coming. Dude, it was great. I'm glad I got to see you and just be there for you. So many people love you. It's so funny, you're like the one guy

when you say something like, oh man, look, I'm so pissed of some people. I can't. He's a great guy. So I'm just like, you're dead. (laughing)

But they say that shit about you while you were alive. It is kind of fucked up. Like, God, if you were here right now, we would have fucking, hi, dog him. He was a great guy.

“You must be getting eulogized, you're like, yeah, he was a great guy.”

And you get living eulogized, dude. I think you're doing a good job, man. Thank you for all your service to humanity, dude. And Matt and Shane Seeker podcast. And what's the new history podcast called?

It's just on our Patreon. Okay, yeah, we just, that's just the thing I do on our Patreon. Shane was gone filming. So I had to like, I had to just read books. I had to rely on my cool books, you know.

That was kind of rude, but it was like, I can't just make up stuff to talk about. Yeah. So yeah, just had the books, yeah, man. Thanks, bro.

Thank you for everything, dude, good to see you. Dude, appreciate you. Thank you. I'm just faking on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves, I must be cornerstone.